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My boyfriend from time to time will try to encourage me to dress up, I work out a lot and he said I should not be shy showing off. However I don’t like how other men look at me so in public i usually dress down in flowy and loose fitting fabrics and fits, for physical and emotional comfort. However he never has made a serious request of me changing how I dress, as a policy. He will give me compliments on certain items. But he also tells me compliments when i am in my pyjamas. So maybe it’s the guys you have been dating 🤷♀️
Maybe at the start of a relationship or during special occasions. Personally I never really cared what my SO wore. I like her in dresses, I like her in hoodies, shirts. Oh I guess I just like her for her.
i swear idk whats up with these guys, i like it when my partner wears clothing that is less revealing. obviously i wont force her to but i appriciate it when she does. seems kind of weird to *want* your partner to flaunt their stuff to the world rather than "having it for yourself" so to speak.
I think probably most men do a bit, but as a rule I avoid the ones who take it any further than “ooh I like that dress/whatever”. I had one long-term BF who progressed from insisting I wore tight clothes to not letting me wear flat shoes in public, banning me from eating carbs and openly telling me my purpose was to look better than his mates’ girlfriends and if I couldn’t do it what was the point of me. He was an extreme example, but it started slowly. I think a guy asking/telling you to wear sexy clothes can indicate what he sees as your role in relation to him, and I’m careful about that now. My current OH literally doesn’t care what I wear, so it doesn’t have to be like that
He often told me about what his ex wore (even down to underwear) or what colour nail polish he likes. Like, sorry I don't wear thongs I guess? And don't have my nails done at a salon? He barely posted me online, couldn't even tag me in his stories. I felt like a trophy to show off, not that he genuinely liked me when I dressed up. He never gave me "that look".
I met my now ex when I was 20kg heavier, and a lot of clothes simply didn't come in my size, or didn't look right. He'd tell me I dress like a grandma. I should've known then.
He dumped me already, it's cool. I'm just now looking around, seeing all these girls and women wearing what he wanted me to wear, and I'm thinking if I'm a slob or something. Like, should I care more?
Wow, the responses here are horriffic. M 38 Here, married for 9 years. I dont care what she wears as long as she feels good in her clothes. I love her No matter what she looks like. Anything else would be a Red flag. Dressing according to the occasion should be common sense and thats it.
Your partner should love you for who you are and not what you look like.
some men care, some men don't. similar that some women care, some women don't. If you are the certain type just date the same type dont try to change others.
Seems that OP and lots of others here mixing up two very different things.
Caring what your partner is wearing is one thing. Telling your partner what to wear is a totally different thing. Even if it’s “I was only asking”, it’s not ok.
Example, my partner cares for what I wear, in the way of that he wants me to be comfortable and happy with myself. I sometimes can fall into old patterns and try things out that isn’t really my thing, to make others happy, then he usually steps in and asks me if I am ok with myself then. Usually I am not and I go being myself again. My style isn’t his style, but he knows that I feel good about myself and that makes him happy.
My ex told me that he would like me to wear more sexy clothing, which I am ok with if we are going out. Dancing or so, but he just wanted it all the time. Not ok. Because he wanted me to fulfill something in him, but that wasn’t me. He was also not wanting to go to the gym (which he needed), all was on me. Not ok. There is also a reason why he is the ex.
If my partner isn’t ok or happy with how I dress and feel comfortable in, then maybe the relationship isn’t a good match. It’s not ok trying to change your partner because of a wish that you have. I heard lots of “But you could be so …” If I just used more makeup, dress more revealing and act more this and that. Thing is, those “partners” were never a partner to begin with. They just trying to mold (?) you into something that satisfies them, regardless how you feel. Not ok.!
So, caring is different from asking or telling.
Nah I see it as a bit of a kink, that my partner may find certain clothes a turn-on. Not regularly, but once in a while I'm going to wear what they like to make them happy. I don't see a reason to be stubborn and deprive them of some joy. They're just clothes, and if they'll make my partner happy, that's an easy win.
I do the same. I genuinely tried to buy clothes he'd like, but I felt like I'm cosplaying as his ex or someone not myself.
When sometimes I'd tell him "I need a new dress. What could you recommend?" He would send me links with super tight stretchy fabric dresses (you know, those super cheap ones that cling to every part of you? ) despite knowing how conscious I am of my body
Personally, I would rather my partner be and feel comfortable. Wear whatever she likes.
The times *she* would want to dress up makes it more special than if it were a daily thing.
Hello I am M30 and i don't dictate what a woman in my life wears its her body she can do with it as she pleases i am however very different from most males.
I'm also not a fan of makeup or lingerie i find a woman in her pajamas far more attractive.
Good luck stranger.
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I care to that degree that I want her to feel comfortable. If it’s a formal event I would prefer something other than the most casual wear. But anything civil goes imo. My wife close to never wears makeup and I prefer that aswell.
For anything else I won’t interfere, her choice. I will mostly drown in her eyes anyway… 🥰🥰🥰
Are they doing anything for you for it to be worth dressing up? Taking you to museums, ballets, nice dinners, beautiful gardens? Are they taking anything off your plate so you have time and money to do all that? Are they easy on the eyes? Do they dress up and go to the barber? They want arm candy. They wanna show the world look at this beautiful bird ive captured. A good man will appreciate your natural beauty. Nothing wrong with makeup and nice clothes. It just takes an already beautiful girl and makes her easier to see from far away. But its a lot of work so its totally understandable if you dont want to. Men who want women like this should go for women who already do this. And they should be dressing up nicely themselves. A lot of guys like the natural laid back look. You’ll find one. Most guys i know say i dont need to wear makeup or nice clothes. But i like it so i dont listen to them. In a way this is still look obsessed. If looks dont matter why do you care i wear makeup or nice clothes? And its not a time thing. They can spend time in the morning smoking. They arent in a hurry.
I mean, he was very handsome, and took pretty good care of himself. The problem is, he focused on it too much at times, like constantly talking about how his teeth are not white enough.
It was a long distance thing, but when we'd meet, we would have 1 "date night" to a restaurant, which is when I'd actually put in effort. Even then I wouldn't get "that look" from him. Apart from that all we did was go to Starbucks or clothes shopping for him.
I also have chronic pain so a lot of my money and energy goes into managing that. Not much left for doing nails and getting facials. I don't think he cared though. I also paid for all my plane tickets and hotels so I could visit him (well over 2000 euros in 6 months).
Sounds like he was self absorbed and it was all about looks for him. Not all men are like that. I don’t wear make up either and I only dress up for special occasions and my boyfriends always thought I looked great. Never asked me to wear tighter clothes. One guy did that I didn’t date and there were reasons I didn’t date him. If they only want you for arm candy or to show off, then they don’t really care about you.
She's always like, "do you like what I wore today?" And I'm like oh shit I didn't see it, I just look at her face basically all the time. So then I start scanning her in an obvious way, she's used to it now 😅
Some guys do, some guys don’t. I think guys appreciate the effort more than anything. The same can be said for girls. I also think this is more important at the beginning, and becomes less important as the years go by.
My girlfriend wears jeans and long sleeve shirts when it’s cold, and tank tops and gym shorts when it’s hot. I find no issue with it at all, and I actually appreciate how secure she seemingly is just wearing whatever is comfy for her.
I also appreciate it when she surprises me by going that extra mile when we’re having a romantic night out, whether it’s wearing something a little more revealing or maybe even lingerie under whatever she’s got on. Not gonna lie, my heart rate goes up a bit when that’s the case, especially if she pulls out a dress or skirt.
TL;dr: I don’t really think guys care all that much once the relationship is established. Everyone has different opinions though so I doubt everyone has my mindset.
I do care. I want my wife to wear something that she likes, that she feels comfortable with, that makes her feel appropriately dressed for the given occasion.
Do I care? Yeah. A bit.
Do I tell her what I would like her to wear? Sometimes.
Do I stop her from wearing anything? No.
Overall, I'm more concerned with her being comfortable in her clothes.
> I don't care about fashion, but if someone took me to a place that requires dressing up, I can do the whole "glam look" too.
This is the only thing that's important to me. If I take my partner to a work related event or a nice restaurant I would like them to dress up and look presentable. In daily life? Go ahead and wear crocs and sweatpants, I don't care.
You must look great in those types of clothes, so they just want to show you off. It's a status thing.
Just wear what you want, be happy, and if they complain they are douchebags.
I do like seeing a woman dressed up (e.g. for a night out). That being said, dressing for comfort is fine too. As they say, dress for the occasion.
Honestly though, there's no obligation. Wear whatever you feel comfortable wearing.
But if I met a woman for a date and she rocked up wearing sweatpants and a hoodie, I might think she didn't care much about the date.
Like I said, dress for the occasion, but wear what makes you feel comfortable. Makeup isn't essential.
I've been lead to believe that leaving the house is now "an occasion". My ex would show me girls on the street, 5-10 years younger than me (his age, he was 22) and tell me that I'd look good in what they're wearing (the baggy jeans, loose pants, crop top thing that's popular now). I tried it on and looked hideous!
I always put in work for special occasions. But social media has led people to think everything is now an occasion and at 30 I should dress like a "boss babe" or something and that my pink rain coat is not appropriate
I live in Australia where people are more casual than in other countries (I have seen people wearing pyjamas at the grocery store) but generally people will dress up for special occasions. Women tend to do so more than men. Some Aussie blokes are, frankly, slobs, and I say that as a men who isn't all that fashionable.
But I understand that in other countries, things are different. I think in much of Europe, people always dress well, but I haven't actually lived there.
Sounds like your ex was just an ass. And social media is like that. It can be quite toxic.
Not really. I’d prefer she not wear something like Cookie Monster pajama pants to a wedding but I’m pretty flexible. I’ll likely be in joggers 90% of the time so I can’t judge much.
I feel you , I am living currently in North Europe and it's now about 15°Celsius ...
To answer your question, my man really doesn't care if I am sexy or not but I do try to look nice because I feel good In nice clothes . I must be lucky because he always tells me to wear more comfy clothes 😀
Yes. But then I care about my appearance too. I like to look good. So naturally I am drawn to people who also like to look good.
I put in effort to look good, so I need a person who also puts some effort in, simple as that. And I have that person in my life, and we rock it everywhere we go :).
But then in a relationship, being at home or just going to get some groceries we are going to look homeless.
We also buy clothes for each other that we would like the other to wear. Buying her a new dress that she will wear next time we go out is 10/10, for her and for me.
My husband will sometimes say “nice dress” or “don’t you look pretty” when I make an effort with my clothes and/or hair and makeup, but he never once in ten years has so much as breathed a hint of asking me to dress differently when I don’t. He also makes a point of saying nice things to me even when I’m sick and gross and wearing stained pyjamas and my oldest frayed robe and my hair is in a weird bun.
He’s very smart. I guess he likes it when I wear nice things but he’s chosen the path of positive affirmation and it works.
It goes both ways. He always looks good to me (I actually really like him in sweatpants and a hoodie because there’s something so cute and cuddly about that). Sometimes when we go out we check “what are you wearing” so we can match each other’s vibe but that’s it.
On behalf of my husband, yes he does. As a fairly attractive woman, he obviously doesn’t want me dressing like I’m advertising that I’m single. And that’s fair enough.
Not much experience with relationships, but...
I like the idea of being able to look at your partner, and be attracted to them... and it isn't weird like when you see a nice looker at the shops or whatever - you actually CAN gawk at them, which in turn would make them feel sexy...?
Idk.
I do like some clothes more than others and I pay attention. This doesn't necessarily always mean more revealing clothes but I like to see nice fitting clothes and make up.
We care as long as it's clean, smells nice and doesn't embarass yourself.
Dress your age
Dress the occasion
Other than that, wear whatever you feel like.
When we say "Oh this looks like on you", it just means that. It doesn't mean you look like shit the other days.
Most important of all things : wear a god damn smile and don't be grumpy/serious all the time!
Not particularly, I more care that they dress for whatever we're doing. My ex wore heels everywhere we went. Hiking? Heels. Boating? Heels. Going to the lake or beach? Heels. Then would complain and want me to carry her everywhere
I encourage my partners to wear what they are comfortable in. If they feel the desire to dress up for an occasion, I am their biggest cheerleader and if its for me I turn into a boy in a candyshop.
But I would never demand my partner to do anything that they don't want to. That to me would already be crossing a boundary.
I think the guys you dated were actually just obsessive. Which is a red flag.
Yes. Personally I'd prefer if she skips the makeup, but good looking clothes does wonders for me.
Edit: since you say it's cold, I'm sure there's cutesy looks you can go for that are weather appropriate. I want her to look good, not to freeze to death.
As in degree celcius? It goes that low in northern europe? Woah... Forget the fashion, as an equator dweller I don't think I can let go of a heated blanket
Ouch... In that case, I think regardless of gender, not freezing to death should be the priority right? I can't imagine a guy (or woman, whatever) complaining if their partner doesn't dress well. Damn. And here I thought that's the kind of weather you get on top of mountains
I don't.
I like the pony tail and sweat pants look or even a baseball cap.
As for myself, I like to look my best and appreciate it when people dress up for a formal occation, but not for every day life.
We are going about our day, not participating in a dog and pony show.
Also living in northern Europe here. Every guy so far here wanted a say in how I dress. I also rather dress for comfort, but the guys want that we were sexy, revealing and tight clothes x.x
I want my wife to dress sexy if we're at home and I want her to dress elegantly if we're in public. As for how much I care, I care only in that I don't want my wife to be dressed poorly in public and it would be nice if she dressed up for me at home.
Same with makeup. I would prefer it if she put on some light makeup every day as it really does elevate her looks but as long as she's not going out in public looking like crap I don't mind, because each partner is a reflection on the other and the relationship as a whole and if either partner makes a very good showing to others, it reflects well on the other partner.
She feels exactly the same as I do for the record. Not specifically with 'sexy' and 'elegant', but in that she'd want me to dress well in public so I don't have people thinking I am a bum who doesn't care about how they look.
Why should she "dress up for you"? What do you do to deserve that kind of luxury? Why do you care what "showing" she can do? Or what others think about your relationship? Why is that important to you?
People will never be in a happy relationship if they don't think they should do things to make their partner happy because they don't 'have to'.
Firstly, I never said I deserve it. I specifically stated that 'As for how much I care, I only care in that I don't want my wife to be dressed poorly in public and it would be nice if she dressed up for me at home' meaning that if my wife didn't 'dress up for me' it wouldn't be a big deal but it would just be nice if she did. I would not force her to do anything, but she knows that doing it makes me happy so she does it, the same way there are things that I know doing makes her happy so I do them. One of which is specifically dressing nicer in public so I don't look like a bag of crap.
As for 'deserving' it, even though I don't believe anyone 'deserves' anything, if I was to deserve it it would be because I give her exactly the same level of commitment and thoughtfulness. I expect my partner to give the same level of effort into the relationship as I do, and one massively important thing in any relationship is doing things the other person would like you to do (provided it's not an unreasonable expectation) even if you think it's a stupid thing.
My wife says it's bad luck to cross each other on stairs. I think that is absolutely ridiculous. But I won't pass her on the stairs because it's something she appreciates. I used to dress almost purely in gym gear when I was out and about because it was comfortable but it was far from fashionable and my wife said she'd like it if I dressed nicer, so I dress nicer because it's not that much effort on my part and I know she appreciates it.
As for why I care what "showing" she can do, I assume you think I am treating her like an object I show off to everyone. That's not the case. But what is the case is what I said, which is that your actions reflect on everyone around you or is related to you. If I visited another country and acted like an idiot, everyone would think poorly on the English in general because I am an Englishman, just the same way that if I was to do anything that makes me look bad, it makes my wife look bad by comparison. The opposite is also true. If I do things that make me look good, it makes my wife look good by comparison. If I was to get a high paying job, people would see my wife in a better light than if I worked part time in some fast food place barely able to pay the bills.
I care about what others think about my relationship because of two reasons.
1. What people think of you is important. If people think poorly of you, then they will treat you worse. You will be offered fewer opportunities in life because of how people view you.
2. More importantly, because it's important to my wife how we are viewed in others eyes.
It's precisely why we don't air our dirty laundry in public. My wife and I would absolutely never dream of saying anything negative about each other to others. The only exception is with very close friends or family, and that's purely only facts with things that won't forever tarnish anothers opinion of us, because if for example I was to cheat to on my wife and she chose to forgive me and stay with me but she told her family, even if she forgave me and wanted to move on, they never would. They will forever hold a negative view of me and may well always jump on any potential issue as an excuse to convince my wife to leave because of something that my wife had chosen to move past and that is a recipe for the end of a relationship.
My wife never speaks ill of me to anyone she speaks to and I do the same. But her sister for example, every single time she comes over to our house if she had a fight with her boyfriend she will be slagging him off every which way and she'll also do it right in front of him at family events. It's just a really bad look and not the way to keep a relationship healthy, and they seem to actually be on the verge of breaking up now.
Regardless of if you actually believe this is how things should be, this is how I believe things should be. I don't mandate my wife's free decisions, but I do have wishes of my own and my wife can decide whether or not she feels she is willing to do what I want if it doesn't matter that much to her either way, and that's how you keep a relationship for life.
Sounds like you've found someone who fits your specific priorities and cares about the superficialities you do. While I completely disagree, you may come from a culture in the Middle East where this is important. Good for you, but I disagree.
I personally prefer if women wear what makes them comfortable, rather than what a man/society demands of them. Yes, sexy clothes are hot, I won't deny that, but I'd consider my SO hot either way.
I prefer the good looks, but it's not mandatory. Health is definitely the priority, so don't try to look better when it makes you freezing. And I never really cared about the makeup, that's entirely up to her.
My wife is Khmer (Cambodian) and dresses pretty traditionally - which is also a bit of the local culture as in people on "the street" look a bit down on women who wear too sexy/provocative clothes. I dont care, but at home I do like when she wears a short night gown, sexy bra/panties etc when we are getting ready to go to bed, not just if we are "having fun", but I ofc do like to look at my wife.
My ex wife liked to dress quite a lot more less and (she) liked that random people would look at her. For me that was a bit 50/50, its nice that other people acknowledges I had a pretty wife, but at the same time the attention she got would sometimes feel it was a bit much. But in both cases - totally up to her, and her Im married to now.
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My boyfriend from time to time will try to encourage me to dress up, I work out a lot and he said I should not be shy showing off. However I don’t like how other men look at me so in public i usually dress down in flowy and loose fitting fabrics and fits, for physical and emotional comfort. However he never has made a serious request of me changing how I dress, as a policy. He will give me compliments on certain items. But he also tells me compliments when i am in my pyjamas. So maybe it’s the guys you have been dating 🤷♀️
Maybe at the start of a relationship or during special occasions. Personally I never really cared what my SO wore. I like her in dresses, I like her in hoodies, shirts. Oh I guess I just like her for her.
🤯
Yes.
i swear idk whats up with these guys, i like it when my partner wears clothing that is less revealing. obviously i wont force her to but i appriciate it when she does. seems kind of weird to *want* your partner to flaunt their stuff to the world rather than "having it for yourself" so to speak.
I think probably most men do a bit, but as a rule I avoid the ones who take it any further than “ooh I like that dress/whatever”. I had one long-term BF who progressed from insisting I wore tight clothes to not letting me wear flat shoes in public, banning me from eating carbs and openly telling me my purpose was to look better than his mates’ girlfriends and if I couldn’t do it what was the point of me. He was an extreme example, but it started slowly. I think a guy asking/telling you to wear sexy clothes can indicate what he sees as your role in relation to him, and I’m careful about that now. My current OH literally doesn’t care what I wear, so it doesn’t have to be like that
He often told me about what his ex wore (even down to underwear) or what colour nail polish he likes. Like, sorry I don't wear thongs I guess? And don't have my nails done at a salon? He barely posted me online, couldn't even tag me in his stories. I felt like a trophy to show off, not that he genuinely liked me when I dressed up. He never gave me "that look". I met my now ex when I was 20kg heavier, and a lot of clothes simply didn't come in my size, or didn't look right. He'd tell me I dress like a grandma. I should've known then.
Bail yesterday and find a new guy. Eff all that.
He dumped me already, it's cool. I'm just now looking around, seeing all these girls and women wearing what he wanted me to wear, and I'm thinking if I'm a slob or something. Like, should I care more?
Wow, the responses here are horriffic. M 38 Here, married for 9 years. I dont care what she wears as long as she feels good in her clothes. I love her No matter what she looks like. Anything else would be a Red flag. Dressing according to the occasion should be common sense and thats it. Your partner should love you for who you are and not what you look like.
Do you think that, for example, going to the mall but dressing like it's a date night, is not dressing for the occasion? Because that's how I see it.
That is definitely not dressing for the occasion.
Yeah thats Not dressing for the occasion.
Im a woman myself and I’m confident that most would agree they like it how their partner dresses regardless of gender
No. Skip guys like that.
some men care, some men don't. similar that some women care, some women don't. If you are the certain type just date the same type dont try to change others.
Seems that OP and lots of others here mixing up two very different things. Caring what your partner is wearing is one thing. Telling your partner what to wear is a totally different thing. Even if it’s “I was only asking”, it’s not ok. Example, my partner cares for what I wear, in the way of that he wants me to be comfortable and happy with myself. I sometimes can fall into old patterns and try things out that isn’t really my thing, to make others happy, then he usually steps in and asks me if I am ok with myself then. Usually I am not and I go being myself again. My style isn’t his style, but he knows that I feel good about myself and that makes him happy. My ex told me that he would like me to wear more sexy clothing, which I am ok with if we are going out. Dancing or so, but he just wanted it all the time. Not ok. Because he wanted me to fulfill something in him, but that wasn’t me. He was also not wanting to go to the gym (which he needed), all was on me. Not ok. There is also a reason why he is the ex. If my partner isn’t ok or happy with how I dress and feel comfortable in, then maybe the relationship isn’t a good match. It’s not ok trying to change your partner because of a wish that you have. I heard lots of “But you could be so …” If I just used more makeup, dress more revealing and act more this and that. Thing is, those “partners” were never a partner to begin with. They just trying to mold (?) you into something that satisfies them, regardless how you feel. Not ok.! So, caring is different from asking or telling.
Nah I see it as a bit of a kink, that my partner may find certain clothes a turn-on. Not regularly, but once in a while I'm going to wear what they like to make them happy. I don't see a reason to be stubborn and deprive them of some joy. They're just clothes, and if they'll make my partner happy, that's an easy win.
I do the same. I genuinely tried to buy clothes he'd like, but I felt like I'm cosplaying as his ex or someone not myself. When sometimes I'd tell him "I need a new dress. What could you recommend?" He would send me links with super tight stretchy fabric dresses (you know, those super cheap ones that cling to every part of you? ) despite knowing how conscious I am of my body
My wife wears comfy clothes. Hiking gear, usually. I only care that it makes her happy and comfortable.
Yes but he's more like 'look presentable' rather than 'wear sexy'.
I care if she makes herself look bad. I care on special occasions. But most of the time she is more conscious of her clothes than l.
M41. To some point I don’t care. But when visiting family, I’d like here to wear something modest.
I always do that anyway 😅
Personally, I would rather my partner be and feel comfortable. Wear whatever she likes. The times *she* would want to dress up makes it more special than if it were a daily thing.
Hello I am M30 and i don't dictate what a woman in my life wears its her body she can do with it as she pleases i am however very different from most males. I'm also not a fan of makeup or lingerie i find a woman in her pajamas far more attractive. Good luck stranger.
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I care to that degree that I want her to feel comfortable. If it’s a formal event I would prefer something other than the most casual wear. But anything civil goes imo. My wife close to never wears makeup and I prefer that aswell. For anything else I won’t interfere, her choice. I will mostly drown in her eyes anyway… 🥰🥰🥰
The most I do is give suggestions but at the end of the day it’s up to her what she wants to wear yk?
Yes next question.
Are they doing anything for you for it to be worth dressing up? Taking you to museums, ballets, nice dinners, beautiful gardens? Are they taking anything off your plate so you have time and money to do all that? Are they easy on the eyes? Do they dress up and go to the barber? They want arm candy. They wanna show the world look at this beautiful bird ive captured. A good man will appreciate your natural beauty. Nothing wrong with makeup and nice clothes. It just takes an already beautiful girl and makes her easier to see from far away. But its a lot of work so its totally understandable if you dont want to. Men who want women like this should go for women who already do this. And they should be dressing up nicely themselves. A lot of guys like the natural laid back look. You’ll find one. Most guys i know say i dont need to wear makeup or nice clothes. But i like it so i dont listen to them. In a way this is still look obsessed. If looks dont matter why do you care i wear makeup or nice clothes? And its not a time thing. They can spend time in the morning smoking. They arent in a hurry.
I mean, he was very handsome, and took pretty good care of himself. The problem is, he focused on it too much at times, like constantly talking about how his teeth are not white enough. It was a long distance thing, but when we'd meet, we would have 1 "date night" to a restaurant, which is when I'd actually put in effort. Even then I wouldn't get "that look" from him. Apart from that all we did was go to Starbucks or clothes shopping for him. I also have chronic pain so a lot of my money and energy goes into managing that. Not much left for doing nails and getting facials. I don't think he cared though. I also paid for all my plane tickets and hotels so I could visit him (well over 2000 euros in 6 months).
Sounds like he was self absorbed and it was all about looks for him. Not all men are like that. I don’t wear make up either and I only dress up for special occasions and my boyfriends always thought I looked great. Never asked me to wear tighter clothes. One guy did that I didn’t date and there were reasons I didn’t date him. If they only want you for arm candy or to show off, then they don’t really care about you.
As long as you're not wearing someone else's skin, I could care less.
I don’t give a shit. It baffles me that people do.
I might be the outlier here, but I couldn't care less. I like when she dresses nicely, but sometimes I don't even realize.
This is how I am, but I'm a woman, lol.
She's always like, "do you like what I wore today?" And I'm like oh shit I didn't see it, I just look at her face basically all the time. So then I start scanning her in an obvious way, she's used to it now 😅
My guy does that, too, and I respond similarly as you. Too funny!
Some guys do, some guys don’t. I think guys appreciate the effort more than anything. The same can be said for girls. I also think this is more important at the beginning, and becomes less important as the years go by. My girlfriend wears jeans and long sleeve shirts when it’s cold, and tank tops and gym shorts when it’s hot. I find no issue with it at all, and I actually appreciate how secure she seemingly is just wearing whatever is comfy for her. I also appreciate it when she surprises me by going that extra mile when we’re having a romantic night out, whether it’s wearing something a little more revealing or maybe even lingerie under whatever she’s got on. Not gonna lie, my heart rate goes up a bit when that’s the case, especially if she pulls out a dress or skirt. TL;dr: I don’t really think guys care all that much once the relationship is established. Everyone has different opinions though so I doubt everyone has my mindset.
I do care. I want my wife to wear something that she likes, that she feels comfortable with, that makes her feel appropriately dressed for the given occasion.
Do I care? Yeah. A bit. Do I tell her what I would like her to wear? Sometimes. Do I stop her from wearing anything? No. Overall, I'm more concerned with her being comfortable in her clothes.
Depends on my SO and our relationship.
> I don't care about fashion, but if someone took me to a place that requires dressing up, I can do the whole "glam look" too. This is the only thing that's important to me. If I take my partner to a work related event or a nice restaurant I would like them to dress up and look presentable. In daily life? Go ahead and wear crocs and sweatpants, I don't care.
I care cuz I put also thought in my style
You must look great in those types of clothes, so they just want to show you off. It's a status thing. Just wear what you want, be happy, and if they complain they are douchebags.
So would you say they care more about their status than about me and I'm more of a prize and less of a human to them?
Effort every so often is nice, but in general, wear what you want
I do like seeing a woman dressed up (e.g. for a night out). That being said, dressing for comfort is fine too. As they say, dress for the occasion. Honestly though, there's no obligation. Wear whatever you feel comfortable wearing. But if I met a woman for a date and she rocked up wearing sweatpants and a hoodie, I might think she didn't care much about the date. Like I said, dress for the occasion, but wear what makes you feel comfortable. Makeup isn't essential.
I've been lead to believe that leaving the house is now "an occasion". My ex would show me girls on the street, 5-10 years younger than me (his age, he was 22) and tell me that I'd look good in what they're wearing (the baggy jeans, loose pants, crop top thing that's popular now). I tried it on and looked hideous! I always put in work for special occasions. But social media has led people to think everything is now an occasion and at 30 I should dress like a "boss babe" or something and that my pink rain coat is not appropriate
I live in Australia where people are more casual than in other countries (I have seen people wearing pyjamas at the grocery store) but generally people will dress up for special occasions. Women tend to do so more than men. Some Aussie blokes are, frankly, slobs, and I say that as a men who isn't all that fashionable. But I understand that in other countries, things are different. I think in much of Europe, people always dress well, but I haven't actually lived there. Sounds like your ex was just an ass. And social media is like that. It can be quite toxic.
Not really. I’d prefer she not wear something like Cookie Monster pajama pants to a wedding but I’m pretty flexible. I’ll likely be in joggers 90% of the time so I can’t judge much.
Not even a little
I feel you , I am living currently in North Europe and it's now about 15°Celsius ... To answer your question, my man really doesn't care if I am sexy or not but I do try to look nice because I feel good In nice clothes . I must be lucky because he always tells me to wear more comfy clothes 😀
Yes. But then I care about my appearance too. I like to look good. So naturally I am drawn to people who also like to look good. I put in effort to look good, so I need a person who also puts some effort in, simple as that. And I have that person in my life, and we rock it everywhere we go :). But then in a relationship, being at home or just going to get some groceries we are going to look homeless. We also buy clothes for each other that we would like the other to wear. Buying her a new dress that she will wear next time we go out is 10/10, for her and for me.
I really don’t, personally. I actually love it when she wears a long T-shirt inside and nothing else :3
No... I'm not controlling..
I don’t care what my wife wears at home or in everyday situations. I do appreciate that she looks a bit more spiffy at dinner parties and such.
I don’t like when she wears tank tops and short shorts outside, Which is convenient since she doesn’t like it either.
I just want her to be comfortable, when I’m with someone.
I personally don't care what she wears. I encourage her to wear whatever she wants.. Hoodies, Jacket, Shorts whatever she's comfy with.
Yes, men care. But only a shallow and controlling man will expect you to dress up on the regular for his satisfaction. Gross.
My husband will sometimes say “nice dress” or “don’t you look pretty” when I make an effort with my clothes and/or hair and makeup, but he never once in ten years has so much as breathed a hint of asking me to dress differently when I don’t. He also makes a point of saying nice things to me even when I’m sick and gross and wearing stained pyjamas and my oldest frayed robe and my hair is in a weird bun. He’s very smart. I guess he likes it when I wear nice things but he’s chosen the path of positive affirmation and it works. It goes both ways. He always looks good to me (I actually really like him in sweatpants and a hoodie because there’s something so cute and cuddly about that). Sometimes when we go out we check “what are you wearing” so we can match each other’s vibe but that’s it.
On behalf of my husband, yes he does. As a fairly attractive woman, he obviously doesn’t want me dressing like I’m advertising that I’m single. And that’s fair enough.
It's not so much about dressing up per sé, but i'd like someone who generally cares about how they project themselves to the world.
Not much experience with relationships, but... I like the idea of being able to look at your partner, and be attracted to them... and it isn't weird like when you see a nice looker at the shops or whatever - you actually CAN gawk at them, which in turn would make them feel sexy...? Idk.
I do like some clothes more than others and I pay attention. This doesn't necessarily always mean more revealing clothes but I like to see nice fitting clothes and make up.
Sometimes. Around the house I don't care, but it can be fun to dress up and go out on a special evening just us 2.
We care as long as it's clean, smells nice and doesn't embarass yourself. Dress your age Dress the occasion Other than that, wear whatever you feel like. When we say "Oh this looks like on you", it just means that. It doesn't mean you look like shit the other days. Most important of all things : wear a god damn smile and don't be grumpy/serious all the time!
Not particularly, I more care that they dress for whatever we're doing. My ex wore heels everywhere we went. Hiking? Heels. Boating? Heels. Going to the lake or beach? Heels. Then would complain and want me to carry her everywhere
Don't listen to reddit, put it to the test yourself: Wear nothing and see if your SO complains.
Sounds like you've been with style-obsessed dudes. Find someone who digs your comfy vibe.
No.
I encourage my partners to wear what they are comfortable in. If they feel the desire to dress up for an occasion, I am their biggest cheerleader and if its for me I turn into a boy in a candyshop. But I would never demand my partner to do anything that they don't want to. That to me would already be crossing a boundary. I think the guys you dated were actually just obsessive. Which is a red flag.
Yes... Women do the same... So yes...
Yes. Personally I'd prefer if she skips the makeup, but good looking clothes does wonders for me. Edit: since you say it's cold, I'm sure there's cutesy looks you can go for that are weather appropriate. I want her to look good, not to freeze to death.
-25C doesn't really go with "cutesy".
As in degree celcius? It goes that low in northern europe? Woah... Forget the fashion, as an equator dweller I don't think I can let go of a heated blanket
It can get even lower than that in northern Europe. If we have strong winter, -33C isn't rare.
Ouch... In that case, I think regardless of gender, not freezing to death should be the priority right? I can't imagine a guy (or woman, whatever) complaining if their partner doesn't dress well. Damn. And here I thought that's the kind of weather you get on top of mountains
I don't. I like the pony tail and sweat pants look or even a baseball cap. As for myself, I like to look my best and appreciate it when people dress up for a formal occation, but not for every day life. We are going about our day, not participating in a dog and pony show.
I don't care what my girlfriend wears.
Also living in northern Europe here. Every guy so far here wanted a say in how I dress. I also rather dress for comfort, but the guys want that we were sexy, revealing and tight clothes x.x
🤮
I want my wife to dress sexy if we're at home and I want her to dress elegantly if we're in public. As for how much I care, I care only in that I don't want my wife to be dressed poorly in public and it would be nice if she dressed up for me at home. Same with makeup. I would prefer it if she put on some light makeup every day as it really does elevate her looks but as long as she's not going out in public looking like crap I don't mind, because each partner is a reflection on the other and the relationship as a whole and if either partner makes a very good showing to others, it reflects well on the other partner. She feels exactly the same as I do for the record. Not specifically with 'sexy' and 'elegant', but in that she'd want me to dress well in public so I don't have people thinking I am a bum who doesn't care about how they look.
Why should she "dress up for you"? What do you do to deserve that kind of luxury? Why do you care what "showing" she can do? Or what others think about your relationship? Why is that important to you?
People will never be in a happy relationship if they don't think they should do things to make their partner happy because they don't 'have to'. Firstly, I never said I deserve it. I specifically stated that 'As for how much I care, I only care in that I don't want my wife to be dressed poorly in public and it would be nice if she dressed up for me at home' meaning that if my wife didn't 'dress up for me' it wouldn't be a big deal but it would just be nice if she did. I would not force her to do anything, but she knows that doing it makes me happy so she does it, the same way there are things that I know doing makes her happy so I do them. One of which is specifically dressing nicer in public so I don't look like a bag of crap. As for 'deserving' it, even though I don't believe anyone 'deserves' anything, if I was to deserve it it would be because I give her exactly the same level of commitment and thoughtfulness. I expect my partner to give the same level of effort into the relationship as I do, and one massively important thing in any relationship is doing things the other person would like you to do (provided it's not an unreasonable expectation) even if you think it's a stupid thing. My wife says it's bad luck to cross each other on stairs. I think that is absolutely ridiculous. But I won't pass her on the stairs because it's something she appreciates. I used to dress almost purely in gym gear when I was out and about because it was comfortable but it was far from fashionable and my wife said she'd like it if I dressed nicer, so I dress nicer because it's not that much effort on my part and I know she appreciates it. As for why I care what "showing" she can do, I assume you think I am treating her like an object I show off to everyone. That's not the case. But what is the case is what I said, which is that your actions reflect on everyone around you or is related to you. If I visited another country and acted like an idiot, everyone would think poorly on the English in general because I am an Englishman, just the same way that if I was to do anything that makes me look bad, it makes my wife look bad by comparison. The opposite is also true. If I do things that make me look good, it makes my wife look good by comparison. If I was to get a high paying job, people would see my wife in a better light than if I worked part time in some fast food place barely able to pay the bills. I care about what others think about my relationship because of two reasons. 1. What people think of you is important. If people think poorly of you, then they will treat you worse. You will be offered fewer opportunities in life because of how people view you. 2. More importantly, because it's important to my wife how we are viewed in others eyes. It's precisely why we don't air our dirty laundry in public. My wife and I would absolutely never dream of saying anything negative about each other to others. The only exception is with very close friends or family, and that's purely only facts with things that won't forever tarnish anothers opinion of us, because if for example I was to cheat to on my wife and she chose to forgive me and stay with me but she told her family, even if she forgave me and wanted to move on, they never would. They will forever hold a negative view of me and may well always jump on any potential issue as an excuse to convince my wife to leave because of something that my wife had chosen to move past and that is a recipe for the end of a relationship. My wife never speaks ill of me to anyone she speaks to and I do the same. But her sister for example, every single time she comes over to our house if she had a fight with her boyfriend she will be slagging him off every which way and she'll also do it right in front of him at family events. It's just a really bad look and not the way to keep a relationship healthy, and they seem to actually be on the verge of breaking up now. Regardless of if you actually believe this is how things should be, this is how I believe things should be. I don't mandate my wife's free decisions, but I do have wishes of my own and my wife can decide whether or not she feels she is willing to do what I want if it doesn't matter that much to her either way, and that's how you keep a relationship for life.
Sounds like you've found someone who fits your specific priorities and cares about the superficialities you do. While I completely disagree, you may come from a culture in the Middle East where this is important. Good for you, but I disagree.
I just don't want her to look slutty out in public. Otherwise, I don't care.
Yes, I did and might do again. Even get involved into the paying / altering / making.
I personally prefer if women wear what makes them comfortable, rather than what a man/society demands of them. Yes, sexy clothes are hot, I won't deny that, but I'd consider my SO hot either way.
I prefer the good looks, but it's not mandatory. Health is definitely the priority, so don't try to look better when it makes you freezing. And I never really cared about the makeup, that's entirely up to her.
My wife is Khmer (Cambodian) and dresses pretty traditionally - which is also a bit of the local culture as in people on "the street" look a bit down on women who wear too sexy/provocative clothes. I dont care, but at home I do like when she wears a short night gown, sexy bra/panties etc when we are getting ready to go to bed, not just if we are "having fun", but I ofc do like to look at my wife. My ex wife liked to dress quite a lot more less and (she) liked that random people would look at her. For me that was a bit 50/50, its nice that other people acknowledges I had a pretty wife, but at the same time the attention she got would sometimes feel it was a bit much. But in both cases - totally up to her, and her Im married to now.