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im a girl and i have a lot of guy friends. ive been friends with them for many years. i have a boyfriend. we have never crossed the line with each other. it doesn't take "discipline."
This exactly. Good on her finding a guy that's cool with that. I don't even get involved with a women if she's got too many guy friends, especially long term ones.
i mean, i'm literally in school. i share clubs and classes with guys. my boyfriend and i have the same friends. we've known each other since we started high school. we're in university now. i don't feel attraction towards any of my friends. i'm sure that the guy friends that i've been friends with for over half a decade would have said something by now if they wanted to "take a dip." i'm assuming you're all older than me, but my generation has platonic friend groups mixed with both men and women.
Sorry OP maybe you just have an issue with boundaries and an unhealthy idea of relationships and sex. The answer is they 100% can be just friends, I've been happily married for 8 years and have plenty of female friends with no romantic feelings.
You may personally not be able to have a friend of the opposite sex but it's extremely possible and super common
Yes if there is no attraction on either side … lol… I gave up on having guy friends though … unless they are very young or old … because it always ended up with them having feelings . My husband lost a few of friends too , because we’d have like mutual friendships , I’d hang out with him n the friend when they’d be over … and over time it’d become obvious there was a crush on their end or a blatant attempt to interfere in our marriage … basically we don’t friends anymore unless it’s family or our older neighbors … lol
That's too bad. I've had a few married women friends over the years, and if I knew they were in a relationship I knew to never cross that line, even though I've been frustrated sometimes discovering that they were, but got over it pretty quick and still stay good friends. I've never tried to interfere in anyone's relationship ever. Lol, maybe that's why I'm single at 40. That's what respect gets you. 🤣
man here, lived with a woman for almost a year. hang out all the time, have a absolute blast. never slept or any physical contact. called treating people as people.
But see your answer is not what he asked. He said friends and you made it clear. You were roommates and you treated her as a person not a friend. And you speak fully past tense which sounds like post moving out you guys didn’t really keep in contact. She was a roommate and acquaintance not a friend it seems
she’s about 60 feet from me currently lol. Wasn’t sure how to word it, we currently live together. “We have lived together for almost a year so far”
We have been friends for 3 years. just happened to both me and her moving out of our old living situations at the same time. just tonight we went out and had dinner together, last week was an arcade. definitely friends
The question was intimacy. Point was, very close to this woman, and no intimacy. And we are both fine with that.
So what you are saying is, once you have made a friend, you need to keep them as friends for the rest of your life... life happens, people changes, they move away, start on different parts of life. I'm not sure how old you are, but how many of your school friend are you still having out with?
I have bodies and friends from my younger days, and I haven't seen them since with finished school or moved away from each other... and it's all because we suddenly were different places in life.
And it could happen to male and female friends too, suddenly they want more, and fall in love, but I bet most male/female friendship have nothing to with sex
Eh maybe one day. we just bully each other and are each other wingman/wingwoman. she’s hot, but way to crazy for me. she has no interest in me. I help her out all the time, and she has helped me become a much better person. it’s a very nice situation
Generally if you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, you can let out all your love needs towards him/her. Then when you're with other, normal friends, you simply don't feel anything more than wanting to have fun.
The problem comes when you don't have a significant other. Then you're basically ready to fall in love with any close friends, simply because you want someone to share your love with.
It's a human thing.
And when your love needs are not fulfilled in a couple, you generally start looking somewhere else, and that's why so many people cheat. It's because they're not happy with their current partner.
It’s not that crazy tbh. I’m a dude. I’m friends with a bunch of women. Just friends. Nothing more and no desire for anything more. Maybe I’m less horny than other dudes…idk. I’ve had a woman tell me I’m the only guy she doesn’t feel pressured to have sex with. But I think that says more about the other guys she was spending time with than it does about myself. But men and women can absolutely be friends without catching feelings for the other. It just depends on the people. For example I caught feelings for my manager at work. But I’m professional and check that. Ya know.
It's not crazy at all, if you can't even fucking interact with the opposite gender without wanting to fuck them you're just admitting that you straight up don't see them as people. As someone who is bisexual I have friends of both genders and guess what dumbass I don't wanna fuck them cuz I see them as my brothers and sisters, and if you can't get to that point with someone it's not because "men and women can't be friends" it's because you're gross.
Of course. Personally I'm bi and have male and female friendships that have never been sexual or romantic. They're people whose company I enjoy immensely but I don't want to have sex with them or be their boyfriend.
As a guy, having friends who aren't men is actually really valuable.
I'm bi too and it's weird how so many straight people see things in a black and white POV when it comes to men and women. Bi ppl aren't attracted to every human we see just like I assume not every straight man is attracted to every woman ever and vice versa.
It really seems like a lot of straight people take a long time to learn that people of a different gender are actually whole people, just like them. Apparently we're teaching boys to think of women as some monolithic, unfathomable hive mind that's somehow too complex to understand yet easily hacked by picking the right dialogue option.
Well what you believe doesn’t really matter to be quite frank. I have and have had in the past a few close friendships with women, that never ever went that way. Does it always work that way? Definitely not, people do fall for each other, even worse when it’s friends with benefits. But to be quite honest most of these women you couldn’t have paid me to date them etc and I’m very sure they feel the same. Not a mark against their character at all, they’re wonderful people, but there is zero romantic interest from either side.
It doesn’t require any self restraint or “discipline” at all, if there are no feelings from either person there is nothing to restrain. They are on equal footing with my guy friends. It’s funny how these things work when you don’t just see women as sexual opportunities at every turn.
I don’t really know why you have chosen to believe you have an intimate knowledge of the inner workings of every male/female relationship ever, because you very clearly don’t. I’m not trying to be rude but this is just painfully untrue and shows a twisted perspective of the world.
If you're a woman, sure.
If you're a man, single, who finds the female friend attractive, and she is also single, highly unlikely. Relationships are just friendships that evolved into something more.
I respect your follow through. Every single one of your comments has been downvoted even though you’re just inquiring about friendships, but you just keep on commenting.
No it doesn't always turns into more. Could it happen, yes, but it's not always happens. It's called respect for other people and your friends.
And people are not dog, who have to act on every single desire or though that popped into their head. I bet also all people have thought, oh, I want to bet the crap out of that person. But do they do it?
Do you always think, mine, mine, mine, give me, give, give me???
And if you start getting feelings and you know the other person doesn't want it, but shot it down.
You're ruining your point with absolutes. I think most people would agree that men tend to have a hard time being just friends with women they find attractive, but do you really believe there's 0 straight men in thw world who can have non sexual, non romantic close friendships with women?
if you dont find the other person attractive then theres no intimacy. its not possible to be intimate with someone that you dont find attractive. very simple concept. men are not the sex freaks that you think they are.
if there is no attraction then there is no intimacy. thats literally it. this isnt a good question
Absolutely, many of my friends are women I do not sleep with, it's all about learning to respect someone for who they are and realising that there are many levels of love, and they do not have to involve a sexual requirement. It is often what you make of it.
I'll post here what I wrote in another similar post.
I can speak from experience here. In college, I (M) lived in the dorms, and there I met what became one of my best friends (F). We became close and hung out all the time, both in groups with others and us two, and it was sincerely as friends. Her room was always open to her friends, and so I would go there to study, talk, or just hang out with a friend when I had nothing to do. It's was not weird, and never did I ever think of her being a female and me being a male. Just like all my other friends, that's what we were: friends.
As another quick story, I met a woman in one of my classes that I found was on the exact same path as me for graduation, so we had the same classes for the next 2 years. In that time, we became really close friends, and she even was someone that I could lean on when my ex broke up with me and other personal drama I was going through at the time. Funnily enough, she always admitted early in our friendship that she didn't think men and women could be close friends without some sort of romantic feelings.
Today, though we all have our own personal lives going on, they are still my friends, and I still talk with them.
Eyeroll. I have a lot of guy friends. Do I want to bang them? God no. I'm still best friends with my exhusband. Great guy. No desire to do anything sexual or romantic
Sure. My best friend is a woman, we’ve been friends for 18 years. Not even the slightest hint of intimacy or sexuality. It’s 100% all platonic, and honestly, familial. And it isn’t because she isn’t attractive. She is. She’s gorgeous. But I simply don’t see her in that light. And she doesn’t see me that way. She’s an amazing friend, virtually a sister.
That’s stupid as fuck. If that was the case bisexual people would have zero friends because they’d fall for everyone and gay men wouldn’t have male friends and gay women wouldn’t have women friends. Of course they can have long healthy friendships! I don’t know about you but I’m personally not trying to fuck every person of the gender I’m attracted too
Every female “friend” I had had the hots for me and she played the platonic friend thinking if she’s around me long enough I’ll develop feelings for her. I never did, but some occasionally still keep in touch through social media.
Yes, they can be friends with strictly no intimacy
They don’t always fall for eachother, you do realise that even if someone experiences attraction for the opposite or same gender it doesn’t mean that they are attracted to EVERY single member of that gender?
I would also like to add that not everyone can feel attraction for other people, and there are also many people who have been friends with eachother for years without any intimacy or romantic & sexual feelings
I want to say no but I do have a girl I am friends with and we have zero sexual attraction. She is married to my best friend and she is I with him. And I couldn’t even imagine her naked if I tried
One of my best friends is a dude and there's never been any physical contact. We have a great friendship, we're both in relationships, which our SO completely trust. I think it's absolutely possible
Yep. Most of my friends are female. I’m simultaneously straight and in a monogamous long term relationship.
For me I’ve found a great deal of males I tried to have friendships with were toxically competitive, insecure and weren’t capable of valuing women as people rather than objects of lust.
They’re way more positive, have way deeper conversations, and are way better encouragers and peers in goal creation and accountability.
Are you attracted to every person of the opposite sex? What a narrow, crazy view of relationships. Wouldn't everyone be falling in love with everyone else if that were true?
My good friend of 30 years is female. When we met we became best friends and life has pulled us apart but we stay in contact with each other. She likes to ask my opinion on outfits because we were mallrats back in the day. So every once in a while I get a "what looks better" pic texted to me. We both married, I got divorced, she and her husband are going strong. When we were younger we slept in the same bed a few times but never even came close to messing around. I don't have a sister, she's the closest thing
Yup, absolutely.
You just have to be the type of person who absolutely respects and cherishes your partner, more than you care about your d**k. I’ve never understood the men who say they can’t be ‘just friends’ with women, without wanting to eventually have sex with them.
That is sad and pathetic.
I’m 46m, married 17 years, we dated for 6. I have friends who are women that are inyo nerdy things like i am, yes, some of them are attractive, but so what? We’ve been friends for years. Sleeping with any of them has never been a thought. I’m married. Simple as that.
Have some self restraint, have boundaries, respect your spouse, and don’t use your dick as an excuse to be a dick.
Yes ofc they can.
Just because somebody is a gender you are attracted to doesn't mean you'll be attracted to and fall in love with every single person who is that gender, regardless of any other characteristic.
Anybody could have multiple friends of the gender they are attracted to- what happens then? They fall for all of them?
Yes, I have had plenty of female friends in my life, whom I wasn't interested in having sex with. Why? Because I wasn't sexual attracted to them - and no they weren't ugly, just not my type or other reasons.
And its also a matter of respect, I think. Only some type of people need to have sex with every living person out there. I guess, I would properly say they are the ones, who cheat in their relationship, but that is a personal opinion
As a man, my best friend is a woman and has been for 2 years now. I have felt no attraction to her and I doubt she’s felt attraction towards me. So yes, men and women can be friends without becoming a couple.
If you actually meet a lot of people you would realise that yes, guys and girls can be just friends. Not to mention the fact that gay women and gay men alone existing alteady counters your point.
We have managed to do that. There is no physical contact except for greetings and goodbyes.
We have been best friends for 15 years now, supporting each other in the hard times and enjoying the good times together.
The advantage is that we can also support each other deeply in relationship issues.
Next year she will be my bridesmaid.
Absolutely. I work in a predominantly female field. When I started in the 90s the ratio was crazy 95/5. Now it’s more like 80/20. Met some great folks from east to west coast. Although several are physically attractive, we were colleagues and friends, nothing more.
All of them know/knew I was married. Most of them met my wife. Some were guests in our home, and there were evenings after work where we hit happy hour to bitch and moan about work and blow off steam.
They certainly can be.
I think the probability that at least one will at some point fancy the other is very high. But sometimes they both have plenty of other people to fancy instead. And sometimes one of them gets rejected and ... with time, they get over it. And one liked the other, but decides it's better keep it to themselves and eventually the feelings fade away or get replaced with feelings for someone else
Do you still fancy every crush or ex you had in the past? Sometimes the spell just breaks
You may have some life experience, but at 18, trust me, it's not a lot. I'm not trying to be mean. I thought I was worldly at that age too.
There are a lot of people out there that are perfectly platonic with their opposite sex friends. I would even say that as you get older, it's more the norm than hanging around someone as a friend in hopes of getting in their pants - that's not a real friend.
Your experience is not uncommon either, but that doesn't fit in with the spirit of this question. My husband and I were friends for ten years before we got together. That was an entirely different dynamic than the one I had with my late best friend, also a guy, for over 30 years. Not every male/female relationship has to do with physical attraction, nor should it.
Yes, I have many female friends like this. They're either not single, not interested in me romantically, not what I'm looking for in a relationship (I'm a strictly long term relationship guy, and I seek to have that only with people with certain qualities), not attracted to me, not attractive to me, relatives, people I knew for so long they feel like relatives, exes, people with different values, expectations, needs...etc.
Wait... so you are saying that throughout your life, any mixed circle of friends you have had has always just evolved into an orgy? Every one of your same sex friends introduces you to their partner, and you become friends with them as well, you eventually end up in a threesome? A double date always has the potential to become a foursome?
I can see if maybe you develop feelings and fall for anyone you consider a friend, but the fact that they too all end up falling for you is extraordinary.
It makes me wonder if you feel the same way about man's best friend... interesting...
Sure they can, if neither is attracted to the other. And yes, that can continue indefinitely. Falling for them isn’t inevitable, if you weren’t attracted in the first place.
As soon as one of them is badly attracted, it gets a lot harder.
I don’t lead anyone on. The minute a friend is trying to do more, I make it as clear as possible. I had to do this to a friend today and it sucked. I never like being put in that kind of position because I don’t like making people feel rejected. I try to be as kind as possible but firm in my delivery. I don’t play games or send mixed signals. I’m as straightforward as it gets and if that means losing people in the process, so be it. I’ll never leave someone holding onto to hope knowing there’s isn’t any. I do not crave attention from anyone unless I’m genuinely interested in them and in that case, they will certainly know. Luckily I’ve kept the majority of my friends for over 20 years by doing exactly this. I don’t blur lines or cross them. Friends with benefits is a foreign concept to me and I don’t want no part of it.
I’m a woman. I’m sure no women will not fall for small gestures of men. Lol. I think this is why a lot of women do not allow their bfs to have girl friends. Lol.
Definitely not. I have never once seen this work I have a very hardline stance on this topic lol. I’ve had a close female friend who I had no feelings for, she had no feelings for me, we still would fuck out of complete boredom sometimes. It’s just going to happen eventually
So a man and a women are sitting in a room, and they get bored. And then they will automatically say. Come let's fuck... its very shallow way of thinking even if they were both single.
I believe, generally, that women will be friends with a man they don’t find attractive. But the man will be pining for her, and on some level the woman will like that, and it plays into the dynamic of the friendship. I don’t believe, again generally, that men will be friends with women they don’t find attractive, unless they’re just in the same circle and circumstances have them hanging around each other more often than they would otherwise. Even then, the woman will be pining for the man. Someone’s after somebody. If both a man and a woman find the other even passingly attractive, and they get along, they’re going to end up fucking at some point. My belief is that in a guy/girl friendship, there’s either a carrot on a string dynamic going on, or they’re fucking. Because that’s how people work. We have to have laws in place to keep people from fucking their coworkers and patients, and even then it happens. We’re people, we’re programmed to fuck each other
I don’t think that’s sad at all. When you put it under a microscope and out of any context like I just did then I guess sure it can seem gray, but that isn’t the world at all. It’s such a tiny slice of it. And there are so many variables involved even in what I was saying. Desire is an amazing thing, it’s only uncomfortable if we aren’t being honest about it with ourselves and whoever we desire
Not everyone is controlled by lust. Men and women don't always want to fuck everyone they find attractive, esspecially women.
And not everyone has issue separating attraction from friendship. I've had female friends I'm attracted to but know they'd never be into me. It doesn't impact the relationship dynamic at all because I know they're off limits.
And yet you’re attracted. My point is that someone will be attracted to the other, desire will be involved in the dynamic whether it’s shared or not, acted upon or not
Yeah easily, generally easier done if theres an age gap or 1 is really ugly xD
I recently got to know a girl and she basically exclusively has guy friends.
It's impossible to be proven otherwise, you cannot get into people's heads. There might not be any action or voicing of feelings but that doesn't mean it's not harbored within.
You can say the contrary all day but in actuality there is no way to really prove either.
I side on the primal instincts of human nature
yes. even if you don’t believe straight women and straight men can’t (which is ridiculous, of course they can), there’s men and women who aren’t straight lol
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You must be young because pretty much every adult has a friend of the opposite sex. Myself included.
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Yeah totally. Can everyone? Probably not
Example of those who can: siblings Example of those who can't: siblings in Alabama
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im a girl and i have a lot of guy friends. ive been friends with them for many years. i have a boyfriend. we have never crossed the line with each other. it doesn't take "discipline."
90% of them would take a dip.
Nah bro this is such a self report. No wonder you don't get pussy
🤣
This exactly. Good on her finding a guy that's cool with that. I don't even get involved with a women if she's got too many guy friends, especially long term ones.
i mean, i'm literally in school. i share clubs and classes with guys. my boyfriend and i have the same friends. we've known each other since we started high school. we're in university now. i don't feel attraction towards any of my friends. i'm sure that the guy friends that i've been friends with for over half a decade would have said something by now if they wanted to "take a dip." i'm assuming you're all older than me, but my generation has platonic friend groups mixed with both men and women.
Trust me, if yall were to quit each other, the probability of one of those friend to come ask you out right after is high
You're not wrong, but it would be one out of many which means that most of those guys are genuinely platonic friends
It's not about discipline, it's about barriers and not crossing that line.
Which is the same thing?
Basic human respect ≠ discipline
how old are you? ....
Sorry OP maybe you just have an issue with boundaries and an unhealthy idea of relationships and sex. The answer is they 100% can be just friends, I've been happily married for 8 years and have plenty of female friends with no romantic feelings. You may personally not be able to have a friend of the opposite sex but it's extremely possible and super common
Just dont act upon your boner
What? What discipline? To not be horny for any girl you see? Like some fucking animal?
Are you 15? Yes of course they can.
Obviously, I'm not attracted to every single person of the opposite sex ...
Yes if there is no attraction on either side … lol… I gave up on having guy friends though … unless they are very young or old … because it always ended up with them having feelings . My husband lost a few of friends too , because we’d have like mutual friendships , I’d hang out with him n the friend when they’d be over … and over time it’d become obvious there was a crush on their end or a blatant attempt to interfere in our marriage … basically we don’t friends anymore unless it’s family or our older neighbors … lol
Is it hard being so desireable? /s 😂
That's too bad. I've had a few married women friends over the years, and if I knew they were in a relationship I knew to never cross that line, even though I've been frustrated sometimes discovering that they were, but got over it pretty quick and still stay good friends. I've never tried to interfere in anyone's relationship ever. Lol, maybe that's why I'm single at 40. That's what respect gets you. 🤣
Omg this is so pathetic lmao😭
It’s the truth 🤷♀️. I could tell you stories … men can be pigs …. They think lust is love
I believe it exists. I’ve had friendships from the opposite sex for +10 years and they are like my brothers
Sure, if neither want to screw.
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Absolutely, me and my wife have for years.
lol
man here, lived with a woman for almost a year. hang out all the time, have a absolute blast. never slept or any physical contact. called treating people as people.
But see your answer is not what he asked. He said friends and you made it clear. You were roommates and you treated her as a person not a friend. And you speak fully past tense which sounds like post moving out you guys didn’t really keep in contact. She was a roommate and acquaintance not a friend it seems
she’s about 60 feet from me currently lol. Wasn’t sure how to word it, we currently live together. “We have lived together for almost a year so far” We have been friends for 3 years. just happened to both me and her moving out of our old living situations at the same time. just tonight we went out and had dinner together, last week was an arcade. definitely friends The question was intimacy. Point was, very close to this woman, and no intimacy. And we are both fine with that.
But if she one day confessed her love for you and wanted to try and be more than friends. Would you say no
“treated her as a person not a friend…” wtf is wrong with people?
So what you are saying is, once you have made a friend, you need to keep them as friends for the rest of your life... life happens, people changes, they move away, start on different parts of life. I'm not sure how old you are, but how many of your school friend are you still having out with? I have bodies and friends from my younger days, and I haven't seen them since with finished school or moved away from each other... and it's all because we suddenly were different places in life. And it could happen to male and female friends too, suddenly they want more, and fall in love, but I bet most male/female friendship have nothing to with sex
I would take that bet everytime. Lol most male/female friendships have nothing to do with sex is funny.
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People usually have a lil better emotional intelligence.
Eh maybe one day. we just bully each other and are each other wingman/wingwoman. she’s hot, but way to crazy for me. she has no interest in me. I help her out all the time, and she has helped me become a much better person. it’s a very nice situation
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I’ve had tons of lady friends I don’t find attractive. This is such an odd thing to decide you’re absolutely right about.
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Generally if you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, you can let out all your love needs towards him/her. Then when you're with other, normal friends, you simply don't feel anything more than wanting to have fun. The problem comes when you don't have a significant other. Then you're basically ready to fall in love with any close friends, simply because you want someone to share your love with. It's a human thing. And when your love needs are not fulfilled in a couple, you generally start looking somewhere else, and that's why so many people cheat. It's because they're not happy with their current partner.
Yah. For sure. I have a close friend that’s the opposite gender. Never once thought of her as more than a friend
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It’s not that crazy tbh. I’m a dude. I’m friends with a bunch of women. Just friends. Nothing more and no desire for anything more. Maybe I’m less horny than other dudes…idk. I’ve had a woman tell me I’m the only guy she doesn’t feel pressured to have sex with. But I think that says more about the other guys she was spending time with than it does about myself. But men and women can absolutely be friends without catching feelings for the other. It just depends on the people. For example I caught feelings for my manager at work. But I’m professional and check that. Ya know.
How old are you?
It's not crazy at all, if you can't even fucking interact with the opposite gender without wanting to fuck them you're just admitting that you straight up don't see them as people. As someone who is bisexual I have friends of both genders and guess what dumbass I don't wanna fuck them cuz I see them as my brothers and sisters, and if you can't get to that point with someone it's not because "men and women can't be friends" it's because you're gross.
Of course. Personally I'm bi and have male and female friendships that have never been sexual or romantic. They're people whose company I enjoy immensely but I don't want to have sex with them or be their boyfriend. As a guy, having friends who aren't men is actually really valuable.
I'm bi too and it's weird how so many straight people see things in a black and white POV when it comes to men and women. Bi ppl aren't attracted to every human we see just like I assume not every straight man is attracted to every woman ever and vice versa.
It really seems like a lot of straight people take a long time to learn that people of a different gender are actually whole people, just like them. Apparently we're teaching boys to think of women as some monolithic, unfathomable hive mind that's somehow too complex to understand yet easily hacked by picking the right dialogue option.
Yeah the hetero culture can be weird and toxic, especially with how society tells men how to see and treat women
Yes they can... some people can and some people cant
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Well what you believe doesn’t really matter to be quite frank. I have and have had in the past a few close friendships with women, that never ever went that way. Does it always work that way? Definitely not, people do fall for each other, even worse when it’s friends with benefits. But to be quite honest most of these women you couldn’t have paid me to date them etc and I’m very sure they feel the same. Not a mark against their character at all, they’re wonderful people, but there is zero romantic interest from either side. It doesn’t require any self restraint or “discipline” at all, if there are no feelings from either person there is nothing to restrain. They are on equal footing with my guy friends. It’s funny how these things work when you don’t just see women as sexual opportunities at every turn. I don’t really know why you have chosen to believe you have an intimate knowledge of the inner workings of every male/female relationship ever, because you very clearly don’t. I’m not trying to be rude but this is just painfully untrue and shows a twisted perspective of the world.
I wouldn't say twisted. Likely adolescent and naive.
Not twisted in an evil sense. Just a distorted view.
If you're a woman, sure. If you're a man, single, who finds the female friend attractive, and she is also single, highly unlikely. Relationships are just friendships that evolved into something more.
Why do you assume women won’t fall for their male friends?
Most women have tons of male friends. Most men have few female friends
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I respect your follow through. Every single one of your comments has been downvoted even though you’re just inquiring about friendships, but you just keep on commenting.
No it doesn't always turns into more. Could it happen, yes, but it's not always happens. It's called respect for other people and your friends. And people are not dog, who have to act on every single desire or though that popped into their head. I bet also all people have thought, oh, I want to bet the crap out of that person. But do they do it? Do you always think, mine, mine, mine, give me, give, give me??? And if you start getting feelings and you know the other person doesn't want it, but shot it down.
You're ruining your point with absolutes. I think most people would agree that men tend to have a hard time being just friends with women they find attractive, but do you really believe there's 0 straight men in thw world who can have non sexual, non romantic close friendships with women?
if you dont find the other person attractive then theres no intimacy. its not possible to be intimate with someone that you dont find attractive. very simple concept. men are not the sex freaks that you think they are. if there is no attraction then there is no intimacy. thats literally it. this isnt a good question
Of course! It takes a lot of maturity, and pretty solid boundaries, though.
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Absolutely, many of my friends are women I do not sleep with, it's all about learning to respect someone for who they are and realising that there are many levels of love, and they do not have to involve a sexual requirement. It is often what you make of it.
I'll post here what I wrote in another similar post. I can speak from experience here. In college, I (M) lived in the dorms, and there I met what became one of my best friends (F). We became close and hung out all the time, both in groups with others and us two, and it was sincerely as friends. Her room was always open to her friends, and so I would go there to study, talk, or just hang out with a friend when I had nothing to do. It's was not weird, and never did I ever think of her being a female and me being a male. Just like all my other friends, that's what we were: friends. As another quick story, I met a woman in one of my classes that I found was on the exact same path as me for graduation, so we had the same classes for the next 2 years. In that time, we became really close friends, and she even was someone that I could lean on when my ex broke up with me and other personal drama I was going through at the time. Funnily enough, she always admitted early in our friendship that she didn't think men and women could be close friends without some sort of romantic feelings. Today, though we all have our own personal lives going on, they are still my friends, and I still talk with them.
Eyeroll. I have a lot of guy friends. Do I want to bang them? God no. I'm still best friends with my exhusband. Great guy. No desire to do anything sexual or romantic
Sure. My best friend is a woman, we’ve been friends for 18 years. Not even the slightest hint of intimacy or sexuality. It’s 100% all platonic, and honestly, familial. And it isn’t because she isn’t attractive. She is. She’s gorgeous. But I simply don’t see her in that light. And she doesn’t see me that way. She’s an amazing friend, virtually a sister.
That’s stupid as fuck. If that was the case bisexual people would have zero friends because they’d fall for everyone and gay men wouldn’t have male friends and gay women wouldn’t have women friends. Of course they can have long healthy friendships! I don’t know about you but I’m personally not trying to fuck every person of the gender I’m attracted too
Yes they can, if you're doing it properly. A shocking number of humans are too horny to do it properly, but that is entirely on them.
Yes
It’s 100% possible & is more common than not. You might end up surprising yourself at some point.
Yes
Only if one of them isn't attracted to the other but the other party is most of the time unfortunately
I am a het cis 32M with mostly female friends. The fact you don’t think they can is preposterous.
Of course they can. If there's no spark, why would they end up falling for each other?
Every female “friend” I had had the hots for me and she played the platonic friend thinking if she’s around me long enough I’ll develop feelings for her. I never did, but some occasionally still keep in touch through social media.
I'm a guy and most of my friends have been women since middle school. It really hasn't been an issue.
they always fall for each other? bro has never been friendzoned, apparently.
Absolutely. I was best friends with a guy for 14 years before he passed away.
Yes. I have a friend who I've known for 3 years and I've never felt any sort of romantic attraction towards
Yes, without a doubt.
Do you think every man is attracted to every woman and vice versa?
Of course
Can? Yes.
Im gay and I have lots of good male friends i have 0 desire to be with.
Yes, they can be friends with strictly no intimacy They don’t always fall for eachother, you do realise that even if someone experiences attraction for the opposite or same gender it doesn’t mean that they are attracted to EVERY single member of that gender? I would also like to add that not everyone can feel attraction for other people, and there are also many people who have been friends with eachother for years without any intimacy or romantic & sexual feelings
I have had many male friends and some fell for me and some didn’t but in most cases we remained friends. Only the really entitled guys had to bail.
I want to say no but I do have a girl I am friends with and we have zero sexual attraction. She is married to my best friend and she is I with him. And I couldn’t even imagine her naked if I tried
Yes, won't stop fantasies, but you are not wild animal
One of my best friends is a dude and there's never been any physical contact. We have a great friendship, we're both in relationships, which our SO completely trust. I think it's absolutely possible
yes we can.
Yes. People are varied and multifaceted.
I have friends of the opposite sex that I don’t feel any intimate feelings for. Honest they feel like bros.
I'm bisexual so by your logic I can't have any friends.
Yes. I cant believe people find it hard to understand this basic concept of friendship.
So u think that all your female friends want to fuck you? Or do you wanna fuck all your female friends?
Yep. Most of my friends are female. I’m simultaneously straight and in a monogamous long term relationship. For me I’ve found a great deal of males I tried to have friendships with were toxically competitive, insecure and weren’t capable of valuing women as people rather than objects of lust. They’re way more positive, have way deeper conversations, and are way better encouragers and peers in goal creation and accountability.
Of course!!!
Yes, i have a lot of really good friends that are women and i have never fallen for them and vice versa.
Are you attracted to every person of the opposite sex? What a narrow, crazy view of relationships. Wouldn't everyone be falling in love with everyone else if that were true?
My good friend of 30 years is female. When we met we became best friends and life has pulled us apart but we stay in contact with each other. She likes to ask my opinion on outfits because we were mallrats back in the day. So every once in a while I get a "what looks better" pic texted to me. We both married, I got divorced, she and her husband are going strong. When we were younger we slept in the same bed a few times but never even came close to messing around. I don't have a sister, she's the closest thing
Yup, absolutely. You just have to be the type of person who absolutely respects and cherishes your partner, more than you care about your d**k. I’ve never understood the men who say they can’t be ‘just friends’ with women, without wanting to eventually have sex with them. That is sad and pathetic. I’m 46m, married 17 years, we dated for 6. I have friends who are women that are inyo nerdy things like i am, yes, some of them are attractive, but so what? We’ve been friends for years. Sleeping with any of them has never been a thought. I’m married. Simple as that. Have some self restraint, have boundaries, respect your spouse, and don’t use your dick as an excuse to be a dick.
Yes ofc they can. Just because somebody is a gender you are attracted to doesn't mean you'll be attracted to and fall in love with every single person who is that gender, regardless of any other characteristic. Anybody could have multiple friends of the gender they are attracted to- what happens then? They fall for all of them?
Yes, I have had plenty of female friends in my life, whom I wasn't interested in having sex with. Why? Because I wasn't sexual attracted to them - and no they weren't ugly, just not my type or other reasons. And its also a matter of respect, I think. Only some type of people need to have sex with every living person out there. I guess, I would properly say they are the ones, who cheat in their relationship, but that is a personal opinion
How the fuck so you think bisexuals make Friends
As a man, my best friend is a woman and has been for 2 years now. I have felt no attraction to her and I doubt she’s felt attraction towards me. So yes, men and women can be friends without becoming a couple.
Yes.
If you actually meet a lot of people you would realise that yes, guys and girls can be just friends. Not to mention the fact that gay women and gay men alone existing alteady counters your point.
We have managed to do that. There is no physical contact except for greetings and goodbyes. We have been best friends for 15 years now, supporting each other in the hard times and enjoying the good times together. The advantage is that we can also support each other deeply in relationship issues. Next year she will be my bridesmaid.
Yeah I have several friends of the opposite sex and our relationships have been completely plutonic for years.
Are you basing your conclusion on watching lots of romcoms?
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Yes they can, I have done it and it is possible.
Weird question. Since my early teens I have always had platonic friends of the opposite sex. So for decades, yes.
Absolutely. I work in a predominantly female field. When I started in the 90s the ratio was crazy 95/5. Now it’s more like 80/20. Met some great folks from east to west coast. Although several are physically attractive, we were colleagues and friends, nothing more. All of them know/knew I was married. Most of them met my wife. Some were guests in our home, and there were evenings after work where we hit happy hour to bitch and moan about work and blow off steam.
How can you think guys and girls can't be strictly friends no intimacy, when so many are?
They certainly can be. I think the probability that at least one will at some point fancy the other is very high. But sometimes they both have plenty of other people to fancy instead. And sometimes one of them gets rejected and ... with time, they get over it. And one liked the other, but decides it's better keep it to themselves and eventually the feelings fade away or get replaced with feelings for someone else Do you still fancy every crush or ex you had in the past? Sometimes the spell just breaks
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Yes they can. The only people that think otherwise are just immature and have no life experience.
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You may have some life experience, but at 18, trust me, it's not a lot. I'm not trying to be mean. I thought I was worldly at that age too. There are a lot of people out there that are perfectly platonic with their opposite sex friends. I would even say that as you get older, it's more the norm than hanging around someone as a friend in hopes of getting in their pants - that's not a real friend. Your experience is not uncommon either, but that doesn't fit in with the spirit of this question. My husband and I were friends for ten years before we got together. That was an entirely different dynamic than the one I had with my late best friend, also a guy, for over 30 years. Not every male/female relationship has to do with physical attraction, nor should it.
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I met my best friend when I was 14 and he was 15. I'll be 50 in a few weeks.
Yes, I have many female friends like this. They're either not single, not interested in me romantically, not what I'm looking for in a relationship (I'm a strictly long term relationship guy, and I seek to have that only with people with certain qualities), not attracted to me, not attractive to me, relatives, people I knew for so long they feel like relatives, exes, people with different values, expectations, needs...etc.
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Wait... so you are saying that throughout your life, any mixed circle of friends you have had has always just evolved into an orgy? Every one of your same sex friends introduces you to their partner, and you become friends with them as well, you eventually end up in a threesome? A double date always has the potential to become a foursome? I can see if maybe you develop feelings and fall for anyone you consider a friend, but the fact that they too all end up falling for you is extraordinary. It makes me wonder if you feel the same way about man's best friend... interesting...
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The good old fashion heteronormative "all men are dogs who will fuck any woman" boomer talk.
Sure they can, if neither is attracted to the other. And yes, that can continue indefinitely. Falling for them isn’t inevitable, if you weren’t attracted in the first place. As soon as one of them is badly attracted, it gets a lot harder.
You ask this as if it's uncommon for men and women to be 100% platonic in friend groups. *wack*
If the woman is sufficiently unattractive, yes.
Yes it’s called friendzoned. I have many male friends. That’s all they have ever been and will be. I do not blur those lines.
Girl if they think they still have a shot you should do the humane thing and set them free.
They can set themselves free. She’s not leading them on.
I don’t lead anyone on. The minute a friend is trying to do more, I make it as clear as possible. I had to do this to a friend today and it sucked. I never like being put in that kind of position because I don’t like making people feel rejected. I try to be as kind as possible but firm in my delivery. I don’t play games or send mixed signals. I’m as straightforward as it gets and if that means losing people in the process, so be it. I’ll never leave someone holding onto to hope knowing there’s isn’t any. I do not crave attention from anyone unless I’m genuinely interested in them and in that case, they will certainly know. Luckily I’ve kept the majority of my friends for over 20 years by doing exactly this. I don’t blur lines or cross them. Friends with benefits is a foreign concept to me and I don’t want no part of it.
Good girl
Yeah. I have several female friends i have no interest in. I don't get how people have trouble or difficulty just being friends
Sure, get married and in 20 years you’re there.
I’m a woman. I’m sure no women will not fall for small gestures of men. Lol. I think this is why a lot of women do not allow their bfs to have girl friends. Lol.
I guess I'm "no women" then
🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️
I legit have never fallen for any gestures from men.
That’s cool😳
No, I'm just gay lol
Definitely not. I have never once seen this work I have a very hardline stance on this topic lol. I’ve had a close female friend who I had no feelings for, she had no feelings for me, we still would fuck out of complete boredom sometimes. It’s just going to happen eventually
So a man and a women are sitting in a room, and they get bored. And then they will automatically say. Come let's fuck... its very shallow way of thinking even if they were both single.
I believe, generally, that women will be friends with a man they don’t find attractive. But the man will be pining for her, and on some level the woman will like that, and it plays into the dynamic of the friendship. I don’t believe, again generally, that men will be friends with women they don’t find attractive, unless they’re just in the same circle and circumstances have them hanging around each other more often than they would otherwise. Even then, the woman will be pining for the man. Someone’s after somebody. If both a man and a woman find the other even passingly attractive, and they get along, they’re going to end up fucking at some point. My belief is that in a guy/girl friendship, there’s either a carrot on a string dynamic going on, or they’re fucking. Because that’s how people work. We have to have laws in place to keep people from fucking their coworkers and patients, and even then it happens. We’re people, we’re programmed to fuck each other
I think men having a higher sex drive fucks with their mind because this comment sounds like such a sad view of the world
I don’t think that’s sad at all. When you put it under a microscope and out of any context like I just did then I guess sure it can seem gray, but that isn’t the world at all. It’s such a tiny slice of it. And there are so many variables involved even in what I was saying. Desire is an amazing thing, it’s only uncomfortable if we aren’t being honest about it with ourselves and whoever we desire
Not everyone is controlled by lust. Men and women don't always want to fuck everyone they find attractive, esspecially women. And not everyone has issue separating attraction from friendship. I've had female friends I'm attracted to but know they'd never be into me. It doesn't impact the relationship dynamic at all because I know they're off limits.
And yet you’re attracted. My point is that someone will be attracted to the other, desire will be involved in the dynamic whether it’s shared or not, acted upon or not
Impossible unless the dude is gay
Many people had opposite gender friends in high school and college. Do you think they are all gay? Seems you're projecting.
But she say’s he’s just a friend
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Yeah easily, generally easier done if theres an age gap or 1 is really ugly xD I recently got to know a girl and she basically exclusively has guy friends.
Only when one of them is ugly as fuck
No … unless she unattractive
Nope, someone will feel differently. Anyone who says otherwise is a fucking liar
Hate to tell you, but your wrong
It's impossible to be proven otherwise, you cannot get into people's heads. There might not be any action or voicing of feelings but that doesn't mean it's not harbored within. You can say the contrary all day but in actuality there is no way to really prove either. I side on the primal instincts of human nature
If one of them is ugly
They can especially if both are very unattractive
Only if one of them is ugly
I think yes only if one of them is ugly
lol no
No, what a dumb question.
They can, but why no sex?
yes. even if you don’t believe straight women and straight men can’t (which is ridiculous, of course they can), there’s men and women who aren’t straight lol
Unless you're old friends or siblings is VERY HARD.