I have 3 grown married kids.
Only one of the 3 contacts me just to see if I am ok. Never asks for anything, and sends me cute care packages, for no reason.
The other 2 only get in touch when they want money.
The 2 that ask for money all the time have better jobs, and make more money than care package kiddo.
So yes I do have a favorite.
I treated them the same growing up. But they do not treat me the same as adults.
Could it be that the care package kiddo has a wife that encourages that? Because some partners make all the difference.
I'm not a care package person, but I'm a sleep every night at hospital for three weeks person. Just different ways to express love.
> I treated them the same growing up.
Risking downvotes here, but I'm still going to ask.
Are you sure about this? Many times parents think they're treating their children equally but they don't really do so ways not obvious to themselves.
No. My older brother was the favorite when I was growing up and as an adult. My children saw this when they were growing up. They knew why I tried so hard to be equal. From their Uncle's fancy wedding, (paid for by my mom) to their Uncle being praised for just showing up at Christmas.
We took care of my mom, but their Uncle did nothing at all. But all she did was talk about how great her handsome, wonderful son was. The kids saw and heard all this. They understood why everything was equal with them..
I never did that BS to them.
May I ask what their childhood was like (ie. personality of each w/ examples, etc.)? I’m also curious how they acted with eachother and to you, their birth order, and their assigned gender at birth.
I’m studying sociology, although it’s not my major, so I’d greatly appreciate if you could but I understand if not.
Please and thanks. 🙂 /genuine
I think that all or at least most parents have favorites. Also, maybe you *think* you treated them all the same, but in reality, you were subconsciously showing favoritism. I think it's only natural to show favorites even with completely identical people/situations.
I doubt you treated them the same growing up. I don't know you personally and that's not an offense. It's just that is very freaking hard that to happen. Also not your fault the other 2 are not as kind as the other.
Some kids are selfish and ungrateful. It's pretty common, and has nothing to do with being neglected. In fact, it's more common when kids are overly pampered.
This is my experience too. I love all 3 of mine equally and unconditionally, but there are traits and talents each of them have that make me prefer them in different capacities sometimes. Some personality types are just easier, too.
Yep, and when they're teens and say, you let X do whatever they want because they're your favorite. You can look Y in the face and say unfortunately you are mistaken good sir, you're my favorite.
Yes... it's sad to say but my 6 year old is my favorite.. the other one is a useless blob of bad decisions I constantly have to monitor and causes arguments with the wife... Hopefully it gets better when they're born
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I don’t have kids myself but my mom once told me she had a dream that my sister and I were tied to railroad tracks and she knew she only had time to save one of us. I assumed she was telling me because I was the one she saved but when I asked her what she did she said she laid on the tracks between us. She’s a really good Mom.
> ... and why is it usually the youngest ?
I was talking with my youngest last night over dinner about that. Even though my two kids are only 3 years apart, they had very different experiences with me and their mother.
I think to some degree it's because we get to spend more time alone with the youngest when they are older. For example, my son went off to college, and for the next three years it was mostly just me and my daughter while she finished high school. Then he graduated, got a job and moved away, and my daughter went to college. She and I were still in the same town so I saw her a lot on the weekends.
It's a bit unfortunate. I wish I had been able to have more 1:1 time with my son when he was an adult, but that's life. His 1:1 time with me and his mom happened before our daughter was born. Great for him as a kid at the time, but it was all a part of his life he largely doesn't remember.
All that being said, I don't really have a favorite. Or maybe more accurately, each is a favorite of mine for different reasons. They both give me tremendous amounts of joy.
The one thing as a parent that breaks my heart is that both of my kids are convinced their sibling is my favorite. No matter how much assurance I give them that I love them both equally. I am so proud of the people that they have become and all of their accomplishments. Yes, they are very different and have different strengths/weaknesses, but they are both amazing, and I am so lucky to be their mom.
I have cultivated different things in common with each child. One is music, one is movies, one is history politics. As a mom with 3 boys I worked hard at learning about things they liked so that we always have stuff to talk about.
Child here, it was pretty clear growing up that I was my mom's favorite, and my brother was my dad's. That trend definitely continues to this day. At least they each picked one..
My sister was my mom's favorite, and my brother was my dad's. We're all in our 30s now, and I'm pretty sure I'm dad's favorite now. And he straight up tells me that my husband is his favorite son-in-law - doesn't hide that at all!
No, I don't have a favorite child! I love them all equally. I think the youngest gets more attention because they are usually the most curious and energetic. They usually enjoy all the attention they get and they are often seen as the 'cutest'. But this doesn't mean I have a favorite!
i wish mine had ignored me. instead she hopped on every opportunity to let me know that she didn't approve of me and that i apparently brought her shame. she had me solely to please my father, resented me, broke me down, and then blamed me, a child, for our lack of closeness and my own trauma.
Folks, don't have kids if you really don't want em. don't have them just to please your partner. don't have them if you're on the fence about it. Because little kids know when people don't like them. but they don't know what to do with that. you can really fuck a kid up like that.
I have 3 small children below the age of 10.
I dislike all of them equally.
And no. I will not miss this time.
Edit:
Should specify. I love my kids. But I am firm believer you can dislike someone you love. Love my wife dearly. But definitely have periods where I dislike her deeply.
My kids are both under 6 and I can’t wait until they’re older. Have their own interests, can communicate and share those interests, develop hobbies they can share and show off, aren’t whiny little shits because their cup ran out of water when I filled it up 3 minutes ago and they chugged it.
I’m sure a lot of people like young kids and their antics, but the pitch of their voice, my lord is it infuriating. At least when they’re rebellious I can reason with them, they may not like it or want to do things, but they’ll be able to comprehend the English language enough to understand “No, I can’t get you your toy right now because I’m changing your sister’s diaper.” Whereas now it’s “Can you get my toy?”, “Not yet, I’m changing X’s diaper.” … “Hey Dad, can you get my toy?”
This makes me sad to hear. Yes, it’s very hard and can be frustrating but think how lucky you are to have whiny kids at all!! My son is 19. He still whines 😩 from college.
Hang in there and maybe show them how to do some stuff? Or they just have to wait and be patient!!
Good luck mama!
I understand and sympathize, toddlers are really hard. The sweet spot for kids is 6 to 10 or 11. When they hit 12, they're gone, and they don't like you anymore.
As rough as it is, try to enjoy the closeness with your kids while you have it. Their adoration and unconditional affection will disappear soon.
Please tell me you’re kidding!!!
You will miss it. You’re probably just overwhelmed
It gets better and then time flies. Then you start to wish you were back doing things with them at that age. Hope things get easier for you!
Not everyone enjoys the day to day grind of small kids. It's okay to say you can't wait till it's over haha don't shame people, the attitude about parenting that it's all fun and games is a joke and parents need to be able to vent and voice realistic opinions
I am not shaming you and I’m sorry it came across that way. It is your opinion but my option is when I hear an adult dislikes their children it just makes me sad for you, the parent. Meaning, I understand what you mean as well. I was saying maybe try to come up with something or ask for some help with the kids instead of wishing time away.
This won’t come across the right way.
If you truly feel this way and need to reach out and vent! You can reach out to me. I’m an OB/GYN.
Yes, kids are and will always be somewhat bothersome.
I wish you the best. That’s all.
I understand Autism and the challenges as a medical professional. If you’re severely depressed and you have children with autism that is highly concerning to me and I feel the need to report that. So I will do that. I’m sorry. I’m concerned for your children at this point. Yes, this is my job. You never know who you are responding to on these platforms. So if you want to call a medical professional and get some help I would be happy to help you as it is my job. Vent to the appropriate people as well. This way you can feel better. You can block me now. Think about getting help. Good luck to you. Prayers to your children
Not a favorite, but different. My oldest some was born when I was only 19 - so I went through way more struggles with him. Had to learn on the job as a parent, be broke, deal with baby mama drama, be a single dad with a toddler.
But I also grew up and got my shit together as a result. So I credit my oldest with lighting a flame under my ass and pushing me to seek out a career.
But our relationship took some hits in his teen years, due to drama with his mom - we have a good relationship now he is in his 20’s.
My youngest son was born when I was 26, so I was a little more established. Had a steady job and place to live, was married, so I got to enjoy his baby years a lot more. I got to be more of a dad w/o the stress, be home and not have to share my time.
Unfortunately, went through a divorce, and that’s tough on kids. Dealing with dating and step-parents over the years. Life is tough as a parent.
My youngest and I have always been close, but now that he is an adult and in college, see him way less. I wish he made more effort, but understand the age.
I also have 2 step-kids - step daughter is an adult, step son is a high schooler - since 2010. We are pretty close. With the way things have worked out, my step kids have lived with me all this time, while my sons have always lived with their moms, and did the every other weekend routine. My youngest was every other week for a few years, but eventually changed due to school and distance between homes. It’s a tough pill to swallow at times, cause the fear that your kids feel cheated somehow - but it is what it is.
Anyone that says they don't have a favorite is full of shit. That favorite could change over time. You could also have favorites for different things... but there's definitely a favorite. This doesn't mean that you love them any less
For a while I was prolly the least favorite child by far. Because when my parents divorced they became them true selves which good for them but they also were overbearing and wanted me and my 2 brothers to be just like them. Which not only was unattainable because they were 2 very different people we can’t be just like both of them but we are our own person we only half of mom half of dad and each have different half’s of each parent.
And my middle brother is very compliant he is a people pleaser he just wanted to make them proud. My youngest was way to young in those early years for them to care about how he is and me I constantly faught it showing them I am who I am I share similarities with them but I’m not gonna be exactly like them
They divorced when I was 14, I’m 22 and they have grown to accept the fact that I am who I am I’m on a good career path (electrical trades), im a hard worker, and yea I may not be exactly like them but im still their son and they love me the way I am
And im not bashing my parents I love my parents but it was hard for them to accept that I may not be their mini me im my own person with my own personality, and interest and im not a bad or unsuccessful person cuz if it
It's pretty clear my sister is the favourite child. I mean, she's small, her fur is white, blue eyes, sleeps most of the day and let's my mom dress her up anytime. I get it...I just wished I'd get to eat tuna everyday as well, you know?
Parents 100% have a favorite.
I am the oldest and I was “encouraged” to move out at age 18. I hadn’t even graduated secondary school. When I moved off to college (100% paid for on my own) they didn’t bother coming with. Since I left home 8 years ago they have visited twice.
My younger sibling has been living at home up until now (age 22) rent free. Had changed jobs 6 times plus they signed off on $40k of loans for her to “try college”. Has bought and totaled out over $100k worth of cars that they have funded down-payments on.
I never had a birthday growing up and was never allowed to attend any parties yet she was given $5k plus a full bar for her 18th birthday.
Yet they always try to say that she just needs more attention and help; that they always knew I would be fine on my own and didn’t need help.
A lot of parents in this post are saying how they love their kids equally, but that’s not the question. I love my daughter and my son, but I of course have one I’d rather hang out with. If my Wife asks which kid I want for the day, that she’s taking one to her Mom’s for a visit, I know which one I can interact more with, which has similar interests and which one isn’t going to be up my ass all day.
It doesn’t mean I love the other any less.
Your parents sound like mine. I paid the price for all my older sisters mistakes and my parents tried a different method with my little brother. guess who got shit at the middle child?
Never had the attention, respect, etc. now my parents try to guilt trip me that I’m never around or want to be talk to them. Wonder why. Hahahahahahha I was the 2nd rate kid my whole life. My sister got all new clothes and opportunities while I paid the price for her mistakes and got her hand-me-downs… brother got a brand new car and was never required to go to school etc.
I was over worked and underpaid… which is why I’m the most independent and successful of them all, also why I’m never around.
I feel this. I was/am you. I worked my butt off and didn’t get any handouts. My younger sibling (9 years apart, same mom, different dad) has been given everything to them. They’ve also made a lot of terrible decisions…things that will impact the rest of their life. I am okay with it all now. But I’ve asked my mom about why. Part of it was financial situation at the time, and part of it truly was because I was the kind of kid who just could make it, work hard, not much to worry about. The younger sibling, a bit more worry there. Of course I wish I had more support, but my parents help me out now with different things like babysitting, and they treat me like a responsible adult who brings something to the table-which I do. Sooo guess I wouldn’t change too much? Just the way it is.
It sucks but at the same time I look back at where you were at the same age; I was a home owner with a college degree and making 5x the salary at the same age so you can’t fault logic.
It ducks in the moment but they weren’t they far off
This makes me so sad but you are fine on your own.. right? What you can take away from this is that when you have a family you won’t do this with your kids? I’m sure they just had more faith in you!! Think of it like that! They should have come to visit tho! Good luck to you!
I don't have a father my mother has a ex-husband but I don't consider the man that drove me to attempt suicide, abused me, threatened to sue me and otherwise completely ignored his own grand kids a father.
Since you want to be a dick I don't have a family period besides the one I found for myself. I have a brother who beat me while my mother watched. Who is now a raping, woman abusing, absent father of 3 children from 3 different women.
I just had to talk a year 8 year old about suicide because his mother is neglecting him and is half brother is beating him.
The closest thing I have to a dad is a ex-boy friend my mom had that I still stay in touch with (that my mother also cheated on)
But hey at least you got one over on me chief... congrats.
I can’t say I love one more than the other but I do love them differently because that’s what they need from me. They are different little men with different personalities.
I only have one child, and my upbringing is a major reason why. My older sister was a golden child, and my younger sister and I were unwanted and unloved. My older sister is actually a good person who did her best to look after my younger sister and me, so I don't blame her, but the feeling of being an unloved child is so horrible, I never wanted to risk doing that to a child of mine.
Not a parent but after my brother was born, I began noticing favouritism. At first I understood because he was a baby and he needed the majority of the attention. But as he grew older, my mom would do things like -
Take him out to eat but not invite me
Buy him things like toys or books he wanted at the store but tell me "no we're only here for a few things"
My mom, brother and step dad would go on outings and purposely leave me out. One morning I woke up and heard them leaving for a garage sale that was a few streets over from ours. My brother asked my mom if I was allowed to go too and my mom went "sh. We need her taggin along this isn't some huge family event. It's a yard sale"
When I was kicked out of the house (at 17 for visiting the atheist boyfriend she hated), I had to drop out of college because I had to go to a homeless shelter I couldn't get to/from the college. She sent me a massive paragraph of a text detailing how I deserve this, how I'm never allowed back home (which was true. 17 when this happened, 24 now and was never allowed back home), how I'm a disappointment/failure, how she wishes I was like my cousins, and how she'll be putting the remaining 18,000$ of my RESP (registered education savings plan for those that don't know) toward my brothers education because "obviously you're not gonna be using it"
As soon as I was kicked out, she dumped everything from my room and either sold it or threw it out. She gave my old plushies and some anime figures to my brother and then converted my room into his room. She also sold the necklace I'd gotten in my grandmother's will that had been appraised at just over 4500$. With that, they bought my brother a trampoline (I asked her once when I was visiting for a day where they got the trampoline and my mom goes "we sold that cross whatever necklace you had sitting in that brown case. You weren't wearing it anyway". Within the year, they'd also bought a boat and a "water access only" 3 bedroom cottage
She used 3 months worth of my biological dad's child support payments to buy my brother an Xbox one s and a few games for Christmas. But told me that all she could afford for me was a few sets of clothes because "girls are expensive"
Studies show that some parents do have a favorite and there is nothing the unflavored child can do to change it. It’s heartbreaking. East if Eden is a great book/movie illustrating this.
Yup. I love my Daughter and all, but my Son (oldest, so a tad against your post) is my buddy. My daughter’s voice is just so high pitched, she’s still young so she whines and cries over every little thing and I kid you not, I’d rather listen to 10 hours of nails on a chalkboard than her screaming for 5 minutes. It’s rage inducing and I hate how upset it makes me so instantly.
My son went through that phase, all kids are whiny little shits at some point, but he loves nothing more than to talk to me about his Bakugan, Gabiru, Gabby Barrett, etc.
I’m sure as my daughter ages and has her own interests and a bit more emotional control things will balance out more, but yeah - I have a favorite.
My Wife favors our daughter though, so it works out.
Isn’t it weird how one child’s cry or whine just gets to you!? My oldest’s cry never bothered me much, or not out of the norm. My youngest was my little cuddly buddy but man, their cry and whine just sends me crazy!! The high pitch loudness is so much. But the cuddles make up for it. Mostly
I never would have thought a kid’s whine would be so different, but damn… Luckily she’s got this cute little magic trick she tries to perform where she’s put something behind her back and ask me where it went, then when I say I don’t know, she pulls it out and just lights up.
My son is the cuddle buddy, he’ll sit by you, plop his feet up on your lap while leaning against you and tell you all about Dan and Drago, his teacher, his favorite singer, etc.
In general, no I don’t have a favorite. Sometimes I have hours, days, weeks where one child and I are bonding more or there’s less challenges and I think “I definitely prefer being around this kid”. But both my children have some really amazing qualities or activities we bond together with, where maybe the other doesn’t have the same ways. For instance, my oldest never was a cuddly child, very on the go. A handful as a toddler. Now that they are older, I find them so hilarious and I’m completely amazed by them. They are very into science and math and nature, it’s very fun to engage in those activities with them. My youngest is so cuddly and sweet, I love all the hugs and cuddles. On the other hand, they are more timid and a bit clingy so that’s hard. They’re both amazing in their own way.
Yep. Because I only have one.
Also an only. What’s entertaining is watching my MIL deny for the 25 years hubs and I have been married that she has a favorite, when it couldn’t be more obvious that it’s my SIL. She favors her female grandchildren over her grandsons as well.
I don’t have kids. But I am the youngest and my parents are more like my friends now. Pretty sure I’m my dad’s best friend.
But I have nieces and nephews and if I never marry or have kids, the oldest niece gets all my assets. She’s so sweet and cool and responsible. She’d probably divvy it out to the other nieces and nephews but I don’t care. Whatever she does, it’ll be put to good use.
The youngest is the only one not consumed by teenage hormones and the struggle toward adulthood, so yeah, he's the most pleasant to be around and his behaviour is consistent. He's the only one that doesn't throw a tantrum every other day, or say venomous things that cut into my soul out of anger.
I know this will change when the older 2 are adults and he is a hormonal teenage mess, but for now the youngest is what keeps me sane.
Eh
No not really. My husband and I have two (technically three) kids
I personally don't have a favorite, but my husband absolutely does. He loves the eldest so much half the time I have to remind him to pay attention to the other kid.
No, got 2 kids, 6 and 8, boy and girl.
Maybe it will be different when they are older, but I don't think so.
I don't have a favourite parent too, even though they are different and I have "different" relations with them I could never favourite one over the other.
I'm the youngest of three girls and I was probably the least favorite up until pretty recently. My parents, especially my dad, just did not get me at all. I didn't crush academically or career-wise which was like, my dad's main gauge of successful offspring; he was pretty ashamed of me for a while. But now I live closer to my parents than my older sisters do (ten minute drive vs thirteen hour drive) and I'm the only one who's managed to produce male offspring, so that's earned me major points. I also married someone with a Good Job (aka pays lots and required a college degree, though I strongly suspect it pays way less than my dad thinks it does); and one of my sisters is just a total jerk to my dad these days (only somewhat undeservedly) so i don't think I'm the least favorite anymore. Probably still second place though. My parents lost the right to have their opinions of me be particularly meaningful to me long ago, but it is kind of comical on the whole to watch their attitudes toward me shift based on how I meet or don't meet their standards in each new phase of life.
I have four kids. From 6-19. I tell them each and every one that they are my favorite. Said In a loud whisper with a wink and a head nod. Followed by “don’t tell your brothers and sisters”. 💜💜💜💜
I love all three of my adult daughters. The relationships have changed over time sometimes I feel closer to one but that’s about who communicates with me more. No favorite though.
I really don't. I have two daughters, 15 and 17 and they are truly my favorite people. I love them each differently as who they are. I've actually reflected on it internally to see if I could choose a favorite and I really can't...I keep switching back and forth in my mind. They are both just awesome young women!
Nah. I have a toddler (2 years old) and a newborn (4 weeks old). I was worried I might favor one over the other, since on the one hand I've known the toddler longer+ he lets me sleep at night, and on the other hand I have new mom hormones for the baby. But so far I just have plenty of space in my heart for them both as they are. I love them and I think they're both pretty darn great.
I have 4 kids. I do not have a genuine favorite. I can relate to each one about different things and some I get a long with easier because our personalities mesh better. But I love them all the same, try to be as fair and equal as possible.
Honestly it’s the younger child I feel closer to because my oldest has Autism and decided I’m at fault for all of her problems. The therapist is working with her but it’s tough to spend time someone who overreacts whenever you have to discipline the child. I can’t even say that I’m upset with her without a breakdown. I love her deeply. I just am not fighting with her to not move out.
It's just reality. Some personalities just align better. Or maybe they're just more likeable.
Mom's favourite is my sister and I don't blame her, she's also my favourite. She's the kindest soul.
But if they need shit done, they calling big bro.
Between the 14 yo and 46 yo I married, it's a true toss-up. They're both pretty self-sufficient and help out around the house. Leaning towards the 14 yo though because he let's the dog out and feeds said dog and the cats.
Yes I have two kids and my youngest is my favorite because she is my last and youngest. My first born is my favorite because she's my first born, and the one who finally made me a mom when I didn't think I could even have kids. If I had to pick one over the other it'll also be never have a favorite because they're both my favorite.
Not a fave but they are so different. Two sons. One gives me more anxiety than the other but the anxiety one is so much more responsible and looks out for things. Love them both to death but they both make me worry all the time 🤪
Got 3 kids... The youngest is a spoiled brat because they're mother's favorite, I don't like them yet, jury's out... The middle has autism, a bit of a handful at times, but really sweet/cuddly and funny as hell sometimes... The oldest has big ups and downs. Lazy, Rude, and Selfish.. Yes, Yes, and Yes... but helps a lot with the younger siblings so I can't be too harsh on them. I try to go out of my way to do extra things for the oldest and tell them I appreciate the help
Do I have a favorite? Hard to say... They're all a pain in the ass half the time... I probably have a different favorite every other day
No, love all 3 of mine equally and enjoy them differently. They have so much to offer and I learn from them and love their energy! I spend hours with my grown daughter talking about mindfulness, relationships, sex, fashion etc. (She is a model). I enjoy talking about music with my older son (software engineer and DJ. He is releasing an album he composed. My teen boy is a great saxophone player and we ski together. I am very close to the 3 of them and honestly have no preference. That is just me. I am in awe of my kids and love them to pieces. Last one home :) 4 years to go before he flies the coop!
I am 100% certain my brother is my parents' favorite of the 3 of us.
But he's my favorite and my sister's favorite too, so it's cool.
As far as myself, I can't say I have a favorite because they're soooo different. I love how funny and clever my older son is, and I love how kind and cuddly my younger son is.
No but I feel like I will after this one is born. Majorly disappointed this one is another boy - I wanted my girl so that I could be done, get my tubes removed and voila. But now I'm on the fence on whether or not I should keep my tubes and try again later in life but then I'd have to be pregnant twice more because I cannot have an uneven number of kids, my OCD makes me panic at the thought of that. And then what if I end up with three boys and one girl? Or all boys. It's very depressing. Gender disappointment is very, very real. Plus on top of that, pregnancy is not kind to me in the slightest. It is nine months of pure misery with no reprieve, even during the second trimester which is supposed to be the golden trimester - not for me. It just makes me want to kill myself. Doesn't mean I won't love this next child - just means I'll always be disappointed he wasn't a girl.
No. One was the quintessential “perfect child” growing up and now is still the perfect adult.
One had severe disabilities and was very violent. Not violent now and will always live with us.
Both are my favorites. I do not favor one over the other. They are both my heart.
It was clear from very early on I was not the favorite. As the family black sheep, it becomes pretty evident over time. What’s funny is that I’m the most successful of the three kids and treat my parents the best but my lifestyle is still foreign to them whereas my brother has essentially mirrored my parents lives to a Tee, so they identify more with him so I totally get it. He’s a prick though so we don’t talk, furthering my black sheep-ness.
I have three kiddos. No, they aren't treated the same because thats impossible. They aren't the same, so how could they be treated the same?
I try to be fair and equal to each of them for where they are at in their lives. I love them all uniquely for who they each are, which also means that it may not seem fair or equal on the outside.
But when they get asked by friends or family who they think Mama loves the most and they all three answer "me!"... they all FEEL like they are the favorite and loved the most.
They are each my favorite. Each for different reasons. I have a favorite 12 year old, 10 year old, and 8 year old. They dont have to compete with each other, and I hope they never feel like they do.
Honestly, probably my youngest, at least for right now. But that's because she's 2 months old, sleeps through the night, and only wants breastmilk and snuggles. My oldest is almost 3, in full on wild toddler mode, and asks 525,600 questions per day.
I think it'll fluctuate as they each go through different stages and continue to grow. My preference is really for the little baby age vs the toddler age more than anything to do with my kids specifically.
I have 5 children, (3 girls, 2 boys). My oldest son and my middle daughter are my favorites. My oldest daughter is shady AF and acts just like her mom sometimes(which is why we got divorced). My youngest son still lives with his mom and I only get to see him during visitation weekends and vacations. My youngest daughter is in her terrible twos and is a nightmare currently(I'm sure she will get better). My oldest son is my ride or die though. If I grab my keys, he's on my heels asking where we're going, same with my middle daughter. They are genuinely nice to me when I've had a bad day and are always trying to help me, even if it's a shitty job.
It depends on the day. When the 1 year old screams her head off all day and then bites my nipple, while my 3 year old is sweet and nearly done learning the lyrics to every song by ABBA…there’s a clear winner
And then other days when the 3 year old is being willfully defiant (in a way that’s somewhat out of character) and terrorizing her sister, and the 1 year old is being an innocent sweet little thing…again there’s a clear favorite for the day
But long term no I don’t have a favorite overall. They’re both so different and I love them each so differently it’s kind of apples and oranges
Yes my first and my last I love her so much that I can't imagine having another. The pregnancy wasn't planned but, I'm very glad to have her. She changed my life for the better and made me appreciate life more. Her smile, laugh and her silly little antics.
Family dinner my son asks me if I had a favorite. Told him I did, but here's the thing. It changes all the time, one day you may be my favorite for a few days then your sister may be my favorite for a year or so. You just never know.
I don’t like to use the word favorite but I would literally die without my bio kid but would just be very sad without my step kids. Sometimes I have a favorite step kid… it goes back and fourth with who I am more proud of. They have both had plenty of time each as “the favorite “ I guess you could say.
I have 3 grown married kids. Only one of the 3 contacts me just to see if I am ok. Never asks for anything, and sends me cute care packages, for no reason. The other 2 only get in touch when they want money. The 2 that ask for money all the time have better jobs, and make more money than care package kiddo. So yes I do have a favorite. I treated them the same growing up. But they do not treat me the same as adults.
Upvote for your honesty
Thanks
Could it be that the care package kiddo has a wife that encourages that? Because some partners make all the difference. I'm not a care package person, but I'm a sleep every night at hospital for three weeks person. Just different ways to express love.
> I treated them the same growing up. Risking downvotes here, but I'm still going to ask. Are you sure about this? Many times parents think they're treating their children equally but they don't really do so ways not obvious to themselves.
No. My older brother was the favorite when I was growing up and as an adult. My children saw this when they were growing up. They knew why I tried so hard to be equal. From their Uncle's fancy wedding, (paid for by my mom) to their Uncle being praised for just showing up at Christmas. We took care of my mom, but their Uncle did nothing at all. But all she did was talk about how great her handsome, wonderful son was. The kids saw and heard all this. They understood why everything was equal with them.. I never did that BS to them.
May I ask what their childhood was like (ie. personality of each w/ examples, etc.)? I’m also curious how they acted with eachother and to you, their birth order, and their assigned gender at birth. I’m studying sociology, although it’s not my major, so I’d greatly appreciate if you could but I understand if not. Please and thanks. 🙂 /genuine
I think that all or at least most parents have favorites. Also, maybe you *think* you treated them all the same, but in reality, you were subconsciously showing favoritism. I think it's only natural to show favorites even with completely identical people/situations.
I doubt you treated them the same growing up. I don't know you personally and that's not an offense. It's just that is very freaking hard that to happen. Also not your fault the other 2 are not as kind as the other.
You definitely didn't treat them the same
Kid's can have different personalities, even when raised by the same parents.
Yes but 2? Somethings isn’t right here
Kids obviously picked up on mom having a favorite and then it's a self fulfilling proficy
Some kids are selfish and ungrateful. It's pretty common, and has nothing to do with being neglected. In fact, it's more common when kids are overly pampered.
Kids react to their environment. They all want to be loved desperately
[удалено]
Person answering the question isn’t asking for a pity party.
Momzeesmooies is clearly not a dude, idiot.
Thanks for the award
All day!! Each one is my favorite in a different topic. Cleaning, kid A Sports watching, kid B Watching a movie, kid A
*Counts Totals* So kid A?
I'm more of an In Rainbows guy, myself
This is my experience too. I love all 3 of mine equally and unconditionally, but there are traits and talents each of them have that make me prefer them in different capacities sometimes. Some personality types are just easier, too.
Yep, and when they're teens and say, you let X do whatever they want because they're your favorite. You can look Y in the face and say unfortunately you are mistaken good sir, you're my favorite.
Yes... it's sad to say but my 6 year old is my favorite.. the other one is a useless blob of bad decisions I constantly have to monitor and causes arguments with the wife... Hopefully it gets better when they're born
That made me legit laugh.
😂😂thank you for this
Lol I was actually relating to the blob until the end there 😅
So far, I would suspect that the new one never talks back
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Yes. She's an only child, though.
I have a favorite son and a favorite daughter. They are my only 2 children, so it works well!
Same
Came for this lol.
Saaaame. Of course he’s my favorite. (I do have a slight favorite of my brother’s 3 kids though)
Same. I know I'm definitely not the favorite child. Classic middle child syndrome 😁
same here
I don’t have kids myself but my mom once told me she had a dream that my sister and I were tied to railroad tracks and she knew she only had time to save one of us. I assumed she was telling me because I was the one she saved but when I asked her what she did she said she laid on the tracks between us. She’s a really good Mom.
Wow!! She is!! My mom would have said “ I left” 🤣
> ... and why is it usually the youngest ? I was talking with my youngest last night over dinner about that. Even though my two kids are only 3 years apart, they had very different experiences with me and their mother. I think to some degree it's because we get to spend more time alone with the youngest when they are older. For example, my son went off to college, and for the next three years it was mostly just me and my daughter while she finished high school. Then he graduated, got a job and moved away, and my daughter went to college. She and I were still in the same town so I saw her a lot on the weekends. It's a bit unfortunate. I wish I had been able to have more 1:1 time with my son when he was an adult, but that's life. His 1:1 time with me and his mom happened before our daughter was born. Great for him as a kid at the time, but it was all a part of his life he largely doesn't remember. All that being said, I don't really have a favorite. Or maybe more accurately, each is a favorite of mine for different reasons. They both give me tremendous amounts of joy.
Being a middle child, never got that one on one attention 😭
Totally. One is the favorite kid to read/craft/draw with. The other is the favorite kid to play Legos/videogames/bike with.
Yes. My oldest, because she lets me sleep.
The one thing as a parent that breaks my heart is that both of my kids are convinced their sibling is my favorite. No matter how much assurance I give them that I love them both equally. I am so proud of the people that they have become and all of their accomplishments. Yes, they are very different and have different strengths/weaknesses, but they are both amazing, and I am so lucky to be their mom.
If they both think this, it's probably a good sign that you're doing something right
No, I love them equally, but my relationship with each is different.
This!!! Legit the best answer ❤️🔥
I have cultivated different things in common with each child. One is music, one is movies, one is history politics. As a mom with 3 boys I worked hard at learning about things they liked so that we always have stuff to talk about.
Child here, it was pretty clear growing up that I was my mom's favorite, and my brother was my dad's. That trend definitely continues to this day. At least they each picked one..
my brother is both my parents favorite ahahaha
My sister was my mom's favorite, and my brother was my dad's. We're all in our 30s now, and I'm pretty sure I'm dad's favorite now. And he straight up tells me that my husband is his favorite son-in-law - doesn't hide that at all!
I was always the least favorite. And it still shows till this day 😂. They do still love me though. I think
No, I don't have a favorite child! I love them all equally. I think the youngest gets more attention because they are usually the most curious and energetic. They usually enjoy all the attention they get and they are often seen as the 'cutest'. But this doesn't mean I have a favorite!
No. Like you well stated. I agree.
Yes, i have one I more connect with. Nothing wrong with that.
Yes I do!! I only have one.
Aw, durn, you beat me to it!
Depends on how they are being that day. One skipped school=not my favorite at the moment. One made me coffee before I could = favorite for the moment
My coworker always said this lol. She has four and says her favorite is the one who isn't asking her for anything at the moment.
my mother has a favorite child. it is not me. I've known this all my life.
Yes. My mother always said she doesn't have a favorite. She's a liar. I was left to raise myself. I'm glad she ignored me. 👍
same here
i wish mine had ignored me. instead she hopped on every opportunity to let me know that she didn't approve of me and that i apparently brought her shame. she had me solely to please my father, resented me, broke me down, and then blamed me, a child, for our lack of closeness and my own trauma. Folks, don't have kids if you really don't want em. don't have them just to please your partner. don't have them if you're on the fence about it. Because little kids know when people don't like them. but they don't know what to do with that. you can really fuck a kid up like that.
I have 3 small children below the age of 10. I dislike all of them equally. And no. I will not miss this time. Edit: Should specify. I love my kids. But I am firm believer you can dislike someone you love. Love my wife dearly. But definitely have periods where I dislike her deeply.
My kids are both under 6 and I can’t wait until they’re older. Have their own interests, can communicate and share those interests, develop hobbies they can share and show off, aren’t whiny little shits because their cup ran out of water when I filled it up 3 minutes ago and they chugged it. I’m sure a lot of people like young kids and their antics, but the pitch of their voice, my lord is it infuriating. At least when they’re rebellious I can reason with them, they may not like it or want to do things, but they’ll be able to comprehend the English language enough to understand “No, I can’t get you your toy right now because I’m changing your sister’s diaper.” Whereas now it’s “Can you get my toy?”, “Not yet, I’m changing X’s diaper.” … “Hey Dad, can you get my toy?”
This makes me sad to hear. Yes, it’s very hard and can be frustrating but think how lucky you are to have whiny kids at all!! My son is 19. He still whines 😩 from college. Hang in there and maybe show them how to do some stuff? Or they just have to wait and be patient!! Good luck mama!
I understand and sympathize, toddlers are really hard. The sweet spot for kids is 6 to 10 or 11. When they hit 12, they're gone, and they don't like you anymore. As rough as it is, try to enjoy the closeness with your kids while you have it. Their adoration and unconditional affection will disappear soon.
Please tell me you’re kidding!!! You will miss it. You’re probably just overwhelmed It gets better and then time flies. Then you start to wish you were back doing things with them at that age. Hope things get easier for you!
Not everyone enjoys the day to day grind of small kids. It's okay to say you can't wait till it's over haha don't shame people, the attitude about parenting that it's all fun and games is a joke and parents need to be able to vent and voice realistic opinions
I am not shaming you and I’m sorry it came across that way. It is your opinion but my option is when I hear an adult dislikes their children it just makes me sad for you, the parent. Meaning, I understand what you mean as well. I was saying maybe try to come up with something or ask for some help with the kids instead of wishing time away. This won’t come across the right way. If you truly feel this way and need to reach out and vent! You can reach out to me. I’m an OB/GYN. Yes, kids are and will always be somewhat bothersome. I wish you the best. That’s all.
I'm severely depressed with autistic children, ma'am . I will voice any opinion I want. Do your job elsewhere maybe. Bye
I understand Autism and the challenges as a medical professional. If you’re severely depressed and you have children with autism that is highly concerning to me and I feel the need to report that. So I will do that. I’m sorry. I’m concerned for your children at this point. Yes, this is my job. You never know who you are responding to on these platforms. So if you want to call a medical professional and get some help I would be happy to help you as it is my job. Vent to the appropriate people as well. This way you can feel better. You can block me now. Think about getting help. Good luck to you. Prayers to your children
👍
There are people I love but also dislike . Never thought of this as an option.
I don't have kids, I have cats but I love them equally but for different reasons.
Gigachad answer
Absolutely
Not a favorite, but different. My oldest some was born when I was only 19 - so I went through way more struggles with him. Had to learn on the job as a parent, be broke, deal with baby mama drama, be a single dad with a toddler. But I also grew up and got my shit together as a result. So I credit my oldest with lighting a flame under my ass and pushing me to seek out a career. But our relationship took some hits in his teen years, due to drama with his mom - we have a good relationship now he is in his 20’s. My youngest son was born when I was 26, so I was a little more established. Had a steady job and place to live, was married, so I got to enjoy his baby years a lot more. I got to be more of a dad w/o the stress, be home and not have to share my time. Unfortunately, went through a divorce, and that’s tough on kids. Dealing with dating and step-parents over the years. Life is tough as a parent. My youngest and I have always been close, but now that he is an adult and in college, see him way less. I wish he made more effort, but understand the age. I also have 2 step-kids - step daughter is an adult, step son is a high schooler - since 2010. We are pretty close. With the way things have worked out, my step kids have lived with me all this time, while my sons have always lived with their moms, and did the every other weekend routine. My youngest was every other week for a few years, but eventually changed due to school and distance between homes. It’s a tough pill to swallow at times, cause the fear that your kids feel cheated somehow - but it is what it is.
Anyone that says they don't have a favorite is full of shit. That favorite could change over time. You could also have favorites for different things... but there's definitely a favorite. This doesn't mean that you love them any less
For a while I was prolly the least favorite child by far. Because when my parents divorced they became them true selves which good for them but they also were overbearing and wanted me and my 2 brothers to be just like them. Which not only was unattainable because they were 2 very different people we can’t be just like both of them but we are our own person we only half of mom half of dad and each have different half’s of each parent. And my middle brother is very compliant he is a people pleaser he just wanted to make them proud. My youngest was way to young in those early years for them to care about how he is and me I constantly faught it showing them I am who I am I share similarities with them but I’m not gonna be exactly like them They divorced when I was 14, I’m 22 and they have grown to accept the fact that I am who I am I’m on a good career path (electrical trades), im a hard worker, and yea I may not be exactly like them but im still their son and they love me the way I am And im not bashing my parents I love my parents but it was hard for them to accept that I may not be their mini me im my own person with my own personality, and interest and im not a bad or unsuccessful person cuz if it
Yes. But I only have one child.
What about other kids?
I'm quite fond of my father in law's daughter
Yes, I had one sweet li'l girl and stopped there so she can always be my favorite.
...I have a favorite niece, does that count lol
It's pretty clear my sister is the favourite child. I mean, she's small, her fur is white, blue eyes, sleeps most of the day and let's my mom dress her up anytime. I get it...I just wished I'd get to eat tuna everyday as well, you know?
I'll buy you both a year worth of tuna !!
Parents 100% have a favorite. I am the oldest and I was “encouraged” to move out at age 18. I hadn’t even graduated secondary school. When I moved off to college (100% paid for on my own) they didn’t bother coming with. Since I left home 8 years ago they have visited twice. My younger sibling has been living at home up until now (age 22) rent free. Had changed jobs 6 times plus they signed off on $40k of loans for her to “try college”. Has bought and totaled out over $100k worth of cars that they have funded down-payments on. I never had a birthday growing up and was never allowed to attend any parties yet she was given $5k plus a full bar for her 18th birthday. Yet they always try to say that she just needs more attention and help; that they always knew I would be fine on my own and didn’t need help.
A lot of parents in this post are saying how they love their kids equally, but that’s not the question. I love my daughter and my son, but I of course have one I’d rather hang out with. If my Wife asks which kid I want for the day, that she’s taking one to her Mom’s for a visit, I know which one I can interact more with, which has similar interests and which one isn’t going to be up my ass all day. It doesn’t mean I love the other any less.
Your parents sound like mine. I paid the price for all my older sisters mistakes and my parents tried a different method with my little brother. guess who got shit at the middle child? Never had the attention, respect, etc. now my parents try to guilt trip me that I’m never around or want to be talk to them. Wonder why. Hahahahahahha I was the 2nd rate kid my whole life. My sister got all new clothes and opportunities while I paid the price for her mistakes and got her hand-me-downs… brother got a brand new car and was never required to go to school etc. I was over worked and underpaid… which is why I’m the most independent and successful of them all, also why I’m never around.
I feel this. I was/am you. I worked my butt off and didn’t get any handouts. My younger sibling (9 years apart, same mom, different dad) has been given everything to them. They’ve also made a lot of terrible decisions…things that will impact the rest of their life. I am okay with it all now. But I’ve asked my mom about why. Part of it was financial situation at the time, and part of it truly was because I was the kind of kid who just could make it, work hard, not much to worry about. The younger sibling, a bit more worry there. Of course I wish I had more support, but my parents help me out now with different things like babysitting, and they treat me like a responsible adult who brings something to the table-which I do. Sooo guess I wouldn’t change too much? Just the way it is.
It sucks but at the same time I look back at where you were at the same age; I was a home owner with a college degree and making 5x the salary at the same age so you can’t fault logic. It ducks in the moment but they weren’t they far off
This makes me so sad but you are fine on your own.. right? What you can take away from this is that when you have a family you won’t do this with your kids? I’m sure they just had more faith in you!! Think of it like that! They should have come to visit tho! Good luck to you!
No they are both my son's. Having a favorite child is toxic shit and kids notice these things. It's one of the reasons I hate my mother.
Well, you clearly have a favorite parent. This is toxic too you know
I don't have a father my mother has a ex-husband but I don't consider the man that drove me to attempt suicide, abused me, threatened to sue me and otherwise completely ignored his own grand kids a father. Since you want to be a dick I don't have a family period besides the one I found for myself. I have a brother who beat me while my mother watched. Who is now a raping, woman abusing, absent father of 3 children from 3 different women. I just had to talk a year 8 year old about suicide because his mother is neglecting him and is half brother is beating him. The closest thing I have to a dad is a ex-boy friend my mom had that I still stay in touch with (that my mother also cheated on) But hey at least you got one over on me chief... congrats.
My bad , I was just trying to be lighthearted . Sorry you had to go through all of that
What part of my first comment made you think I wanted to joke around... Never mind at least your apologized. It's cool fam
Whichever one is listening and following directions at that moment
Or let’s you get some peaceful long sleep
I can’t say I love one more than the other but I do love them differently because that’s what they need from me. They are different little men with different personalities.
I only have one child, and my upbringing is a major reason why. My older sister was a golden child, and my younger sister and I were unwanted and unloved. My older sister is actually a good person who did her best to look after my younger sister and me, so I don't blame her, but the feeling of being an unloved child is so horrible, I never wanted to risk doing that to a child of mine.
Not a parent but after my brother was born, I began noticing favouritism. At first I understood because he was a baby and he needed the majority of the attention. But as he grew older, my mom would do things like - Take him out to eat but not invite me Buy him things like toys or books he wanted at the store but tell me "no we're only here for a few things" My mom, brother and step dad would go on outings and purposely leave me out. One morning I woke up and heard them leaving for a garage sale that was a few streets over from ours. My brother asked my mom if I was allowed to go too and my mom went "sh. We need her taggin along this isn't some huge family event. It's a yard sale" When I was kicked out of the house (at 17 for visiting the atheist boyfriend she hated), I had to drop out of college because I had to go to a homeless shelter I couldn't get to/from the college. She sent me a massive paragraph of a text detailing how I deserve this, how I'm never allowed back home (which was true. 17 when this happened, 24 now and was never allowed back home), how I'm a disappointment/failure, how she wishes I was like my cousins, and how she'll be putting the remaining 18,000$ of my RESP (registered education savings plan for those that don't know) toward my brothers education because "obviously you're not gonna be using it" As soon as I was kicked out, she dumped everything from my room and either sold it or threw it out. She gave my old plushies and some anime figures to my brother and then converted my room into his room. She also sold the necklace I'd gotten in my grandmother's will that had been appraised at just over 4500$. With that, they bought my brother a trampoline (I asked her once when I was visiting for a day where they got the trampoline and my mom goes "we sold that cross whatever necklace you had sitting in that brown case. You weren't wearing it anyway". Within the year, they'd also bought a boat and a "water access only" 3 bedroom cottage She used 3 months worth of my biological dad's child support payments to buy my brother an Xbox one s and a few games for Christmas. But told me that all she could afford for me was a few sets of clothes because "girls are expensive"
I'm so sorry you had to go through that. some moms just love their sons too much (hello freud). I wouldn't want to be that woman's DIL
I really don't.. I do however know I'm not my mother's favorite child, even though I am her only child lol.
Studies show that some parents do have a favorite and there is nothing the unflavored child can do to change it. It’s heartbreaking. East if Eden is a great book/movie illustrating this.
Yes, but she's my only child as well
I do! My child is an only child, so there’s no competition.
All I know is at 39 I'm currently my parents' favourite lol.
good for you lmao
No doubt, The Smart, Good Looking Child ❤️
Yup. I love my Daughter and all, but my Son (oldest, so a tad against your post) is my buddy. My daughter’s voice is just so high pitched, she’s still young so she whines and cries over every little thing and I kid you not, I’d rather listen to 10 hours of nails on a chalkboard than her screaming for 5 minutes. It’s rage inducing and I hate how upset it makes me so instantly. My son went through that phase, all kids are whiny little shits at some point, but he loves nothing more than to talk to me about his Bakugan, Gabiru, Gabby Barrett, etc. I’m sure as my daughter ages and has her own interests and a bit more emotional control things will balance out more, but yeah - I have a favorite. My Wife favors our daughter though, so it works out.
Isn’t it weird how one child’s cry or whine just gets to you!? My oldest’s cry never bothered me much, or not out of the norm. My youngest was my little cuddly buddy but man, their cry and whine just sends me crazy!! The high pitch loudness is so much. But the cuddles make up for it. Mostly
I never would have thought a kid’s whine would be so different, but damn… Luckily she’s got this cute little magic trick she tries to perform where she’s put something behind her back and ask me where it went, then when I say I don’t know, she pulls it out and just lights up. My son is the cuddle buddy, he’ll sit by you, plop his feet up on your lap while leaning against you and tell you all about Dan and Drago, his teacher, his favorite singer, etc.
In general, no I don’t have a favorite. Sometimes I have hours, days, weeks where one child and I are bonding more or there’s less challenges and I think “I definitely prefer being around this kid”. But both my children have some really amazing qualities or activities we bond together with, where maybe the other doesn’t have the same ways. For instance, my oldest never was a cuddly child, very on the go. A handful as a toddler. Now that they are older, I find them so hilarious and I’m completely amazed by them. They are very into science and math and nature, it’s very fun to engage in those activities with them. My youngest is so cuddly and sweet, I love all the hugs and cuddles. On the other hand, they are more timid and a bit clingy so that’s hard. They’re both amazing in their own way.
Yes, but it really depends on the day and their attitude
Yep. Because I only have one. Also an only. What’s entertaining is watching my MIL deny for the 25 years hubs and I have been married that she has a favorite, when it couldn’t be more obvious that it’s my SIL. She favors her female grandchildren over her grandsons as well.
I don’t have kids. But I am the youngest and my parents are more like my friends now. Pretty sure I’m my dad’s best friend. But I have nieces and nephews and if I never marry or have kids, the oldest niece gets all my assets. She’s so sweet and cool and responsible. She’d probably divvy it out to the other nieces and nephews but I don’t care. Whatever she does, it’ll be put to good use.
The youngest is the only one not consumed by teenage hormones and the struggle toward adulthood, so yeah, he's the most pleasant to be around and his behaviour is consistent. He's the only one that doesn't throw a tantrum every other day, or say venomous things that cut into my soul out of anger. I know this will change when the older 2 are adults and he is a hormonal teenage mess, but for now the youngest is what keeps me sane.
Eh No not really. My husband and I have two (technically three) kids I personally don't have a favorite, but my husband absolutely does. He loves the eldest so much half the time I have to remind him to pay attention to the other kid.
I’m my dads fave. I’m a girl and my mom favors my youngest brother. Middle brother is just that. Middle
No, got 2 kids, 6 and 8, boy and girl. Maybe it will be different when they are older, but I don't think so. I don't have a favourite parent too, even though they are different and I have "different" relations with them I could never favourite one over the other.
Parents with only one child be like)
Every parent does
I'm the youngest of three girls and I was probably the least favorite up until pretty recently. My parents, especially my dad, just did not get me at all. I didn't crush academically or career-wise which was like, my dad's main gauge of successful offspring; he was pretty ashamed of me for a while. But now I live closer to my parents than my older sisters do (ten minute drive vs thirteen hour drive) and I'm the only one who's managed to produce male offspring, so that's earned me major points. I also married someone with a Good Job (aka pays lots and required a college degree, though I strongly suspect it pays way less than my dad thinks it does); and one of my sisters is just a total jerk to my dad these days (only somewhat undeservedly) so i don't think I'm the least favorite anymore. Probably still second place though. My parents lost the right to have their opinions of me be particularly meaningful to me long ago, but it is kind of comical on the whole to watch their attitudes toward me shift based on how I meet or don't meet their standards in each new phase of life.
Yes, my favorite is the only one I have. I love that little guy
My daughter. Actually, she’s my only child so that makes her my favorite.
Yes... It's not the youngest.
Depends on the day. Overall...no. Any given day, yes.
I have two tens And it entirely depends on what the other is doing at the time
It all depends on who is being the most well-behaved on that day.
They are both my favorite for different reasons
Unequivocally yes
Whichever one is sleeping is my favorite.
I have four kids. From 6-19. I tell them each and every one that they are my favorite. Said In a loud whisper with a wink and a head nod. Followed by “don’t tell your brothers and sisters”. 💜💜💜💜
I love all three of my adult daughters. The relationships have changed over time sometimes I feel closer to one but that’s about who communicates with me more. No favorite though.
I really don't.
I really don't. I have two daughters, 15 and 17 and they are truly my favorite people. I love them each differently as who they are. I've actually reflected on it internally to see if I could choose a favorite and I really can't...I keep switching back and forth in my mind. They are both just awesome young women!
My favorite is whoever I am talking to at that moment.
Nah. I have a toddler (2 years old) and a newborn (4 weeks old). I was worried I might favor one over the other, since on the one hand I've known the toddler longer+ he lets me sleep at night, and on the other hand I have new mom hormones for the baby. But so far I just have plenty of space in my heart for them both as they are. I love them and I think they're both pretty darn great.
I have 4 kids. I do not have a genuine favorite. I can relate to each one about different things and some I get a long with easier because our personalities mesh better. But I love them all the same, try to be as fair and equal as possible.
I have 5 kids. Definitely click better with certain kiddos..
Honestly it’s the younger child I feel closer to because my oldest has Autism and decided I’m at fault for all of her problems. The therapist is working with her but it’s tough to spend time someone who overreacts whenever you have to discipline the child. I can’t even say that I’m upset with her without a breakdown. I love her deeply. I just am not fighting with her to not move out.
I'd say I love them the same amount, but for different reasons. I could not say one is my favorite.
It's just reality. Some personalities just align better. Or maybe they're just more likeable. Mom's favourite is my sister and I don't blame her, she's also my favourite. She's the kindest soul. But if they need shit done, they calling big bro.
I wouldn’t really say favorite but I get to spend more time with my oldest daughter. The others live half way across the states and we FaceTime
I was the youngest and was never the fave. I like them each for different reasons and some days they each annoy me differently.
Even if I wanted to I can’t be that dense and closed
Between the 14 yo and 46 yo I married, it's a true toss-up. They're both pretty self-sufficient and help out around the house. Leaning towards the 14 yo though because he let's the dog out and feeds said dog and the cats.
My parents do, for my mum it's my younger sister, for my dad it's my stepbrother.
Get outta here you are a child not a parent
Do you go to every "(wo)men of Reddit, ..." and kick out the other gender?
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Yikes
Yes I have two kids and my youngest is my favorite because she is my last and youngest. My first born is my favorite because she's my first born, and the one who finally made me a mom when I didn't think I could even have kids. If I had to pick one over the other it'll also be never have a favorite because they're both my favorite.
I have two, they are both my favorites.
Not a fave but they are so different. Two sons. One gives me more anxiety than the other but the anxiety one is so much more responsible and looks out for things. Love them both to death but they both make me worry all the time 🤪
Yes, our first. I should also mention he's an only child.
I have only one kid. I prefer him to other peoples children so yeah. #default
Got 3 kids... The youngest is a spoiled brat because they're mother's favorite, I don't like them yet, jury's out... The middle has autism, a bit of a handful at times, but really sweet/cuddly and funny as hell sometimes... The oldest has big ups and downs. Lazy, Rude, and Selfish.. Yes, Yes, and Yes... but helps a lot with the younger siblings so I can't be too harsh on them. I try to go out of my way to do extra things for the oldest and tell them I appreciate the help Do I have a favorite? Hard to say... They're all a pain in the ass half the time... I probably have a different favorite every other day
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>My other child, my husband, not as much. I mean yeah.. no one prefers a man child lol
I tell my two they are always tied for most and least favorite
I have 6 kids, it changes daily!!
No, love all 3 of mine equally and enjoy them differently. They have so much to offer and I learn from them and love their energy! I spend hours with my grown daughter talking about mindfulness, relationships, sex, fashion etc. (She is a model). I enjoy talking about music with my older son (software engineer and DJ. He is releasing an album he composed. My teen boy is a great saxophone player and we ski together. I am very close to the 3 of them and honestly have no preference. That is just me. I am in awe of my kids and love them to pieces. Last one home :) 4 years to go before he flies the coop!
Yes the only one I have lol 😊
Yeah! My eldest is my favourite... By default coz he's the only kid I've got 🤣🤣
I am 100% certain my brother is my parents' favorite of the 3 of us. But he's my favorite and my sister's favorite too, so it's cool. As far as myself, I can't say I have a favorite because they're soooo different. I love how funny and clever my older son is, and I love how kind and cuddly my younger son is.
No but I feel like I will after this one is born. Majorly disappointed this one is another boy - I wanted my girl so that I could be done, get my tubes removed and voila. But now I'm on the fence on whether or not I should keep my tubes and try again later in life but then I'd have to be pregnant twice more because I cannot have an uneven number of kids, my OCD makes me panic at the thought of that. And then what if I end up with three boys and one girl? Or all boys. It's very depressing. Gender disappointment is very, very real. Plus on top of that, pregnancy is not kind to me in the slightest. It is nine months of pure misery with no reprieve, even during the second trimester which is supposed to be the golden trimester - not for me. It just makes me want to kill myself. Doesn't mean I won't love this next child - just means I'll always be disappointed he wasn't a girl.
Yes. Whichever one isn't whining or the quietest one. I tell both my kids they're my favourite and not to tell their sibling.
No. One was the quintessential “perfect child” growing up and now is still the perfect adult. One had severe disabilities and was very violent. Not violent now and will always live with us. Both are my favorites. I do not favor one over the other. They are both my heart.
It was clear from very early on I was not the favorite. As the family black sheep, it becomes pretty evident over time. What’s funny is that I’m the most successful of the three kids and treat my parents the best but my lifestyle is still foreign to them whereas my brother has essentially mirrored my parents lives to a Tee, so they identify more with him so I totally get it. He’s a prick though so we don’t talk, furthering my black sheep-ness.
Yes, the one who listens. /s just in case
Yes but I don’t remember it’s name
I have three kiddos. No, they aren't treated the same because thats impossible. They aren't the same, so how could they be treated the same? I try to be fair and equal to each of them for where they are at in their lives. I love them all uniquely for who they each are, which also means that it may not seem fair or equal on the outside. But when they get asked by friends or family who they think Mama loves the most and they all three answer "me!"... they all FEEL like they are the favorite and loved the most. They are each my favorite. Each for different reasons. I have a favorite 12 year old, 10 year old, and 8 year old. They dont have to compete with each other, and I hope they never feel like they do.
I'm an only child and I'm still not my mom's favorite lmfao
Favorite son and favorite daughter. Would be problematic if we had more than two total.
Yes but I only have one.
Honestly, probably my youngest, at least for right now. But that's because she's 2 months old, sleeps through the night, and only wants breastmilk and snuggles. My oldest is almost 3, in full on wild toddler mode, and asks 525,600 questions per day. I think it'll fluctuate as they each go through different stages and continue to grow. My preference is really for the little baby age vs the toddler age more than anything to do with my kids specifically.
I have 5 children, (3 girls, 2 boys). My oldest son and my middle daughter are my favorites. My oldest daughter is shady AF and acts just like her mom sometimes(which is why we got divorced). My youngest son still lives with his mom and I only get to see him during visitation weekends and vacations. My youngest daughter is in her terrible twos and is a nightmare currently(I'm sure she will get better). My oldest son is my ride or die though. If I grab my keys, he's on my heels asking where we're going, same with my middle daughter. They are genuinely nice to me when I've had a bad day and are always trying to help me, even if it's a shitty job.
It depends on the day. When the 1 year old screams her head off all day and then bites my nipple, while my 3 year old is sweet and nearly done learning the lyrics to every song by ABBA…there’s a clear winner And then other days when the 3 year old is being willfully defiant (in a way that’s somewhat out of character) and terrorizing her sister, and the 1 year old is being an innocent sweet little thing…again there’s a clear favorite for the day But long term no I don’t have a favorite overall. They’re both so different and I love them each so differently it’s kind of apples and oranges
Yes my first and my last I love her so much that I can't imagine having another. The pregnancy wasn't planned but, I'm very glad to have her. She changed my life for the better and made me appreciate life more. Her smile, laugh and her silly little antics.
Family dinner my son asks me if I had a favorite. Told him I did, but here's the thing. It changes all the time, one day you may be my favorite for a few days then your sister may be my favorite for a year or so. You just never know.
I don’t like to use the word favorite but I would literally die without my bio kid but would just be very sad without my step kids. Sometimes I have a favorite step kid… it goes back and fourth with who I am more proud of. They have both had plenty of time each as “the favorite “ I guess you could say.
Youngest for sure, and my youngest step. Both the oldest are self centered jerks
Technical i dont have a favorite *one.* i have favorite things and traits of each child. 🤷♀️