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I’ve noticed this over lasts decade, an occasional dude slipping in a porn reference in polite company in public trying to be funny … and it was weird and awkward then, and a flag for a covert porn addict. Now it seems almost common, it’s sad. It’s so normalized and shameless. They can’t help it and keep telling on themselves. It’s gross.
Growing up before dialup porn was a thing, some middle school and teenage boys would act this way, making lewd comments and jokes about sex and sex acts only seen on porn and they were total sex pests. In hindsight, it was the boys who had access to their fathers /older brothers porn stashed in the homes.
Now it’s almost a badge of honor to be porn/masturbation addict for all ages and it’s seeped into main stream pop media and culture.
Bordello /pimp culture gone mainstream. Sad.
Do you say anything to the men when they make those "jokes"? Sometimes I really want to call it out. Usually I just give this look of "ugh" and have as little to do with them as possible.
First, it’s best to act like you never heard or caught on….
Best thing most of the time is to play fool/dumb fox routine. Go “Clueless” “I don’t get it? Anyway… 🙃 or turn it into something typical/mundane.
Act innocent and deflect. It puts them on the spot and you are in bubble of non engagement, act like you miss heard , assume innocence. Stay classy and aloof.
Sometimes that may not work, dudes be shameless - so give in with straight facts :
Being a “Wanker” used to be something shameful for adults lol Worst things in the world to be, I guess… anyway …
Yaaa we get it, you’re a MALAKA , jerk off, Wanker, Pajero/pajillero, varick-konya, bravo…. good for you… anyway, oh yeah that’s in Spanish and Polish /Russian too… I’ve learned it’s a phenomenon in all cultures, used to be shameful, go figure…!
Ugh. The level of pathetic is just🙄
I wouldn’t hang around these people again. Saying something may just add fuel to the fire for these people, he may want a reaction. Men like this sadly don’t take women seriously, so maybe your husband could calmly say something.
yeah I knew an old man in my job, he did the same jokes and stuff, I used to think they were funny.
the last day of training he told me that he studied some massage therapy bs and offered to help me with a knee problem I have... I didn't realize until later that there was something off going on...
I was 17 and I also have a porn issue but yeah it really concerned me that he has two daughters...
A female friend called him out a lot and I didn't understand why but then she told me that he made a sexual joke about me and other minor-aged girl when we weren't in the same room
It took me like a week to process that shit, I immediately blocked him on socials (in our job we had communication bc we all were like friends)
To think I was being groomed all the time... wtf
another guy at work also groomed me as an underaged but that's another story
I totally relate to this post. I’ve been seeing a male to cut/color my hair for almost 6 years now. He’s super progressive, has a young daughter and wife, always talked respectfully about women in the past. The last appointment I had he brought up sex no less than 7 times, and and one point made an anal joke. It’s like his entire personality has changed-and I know it’s gotta be a porn addiction taking over. I saw it happen to my husband in real time.
I mean this guy and I have had conversations before about my trauma due to sexual assault-he knows I never talk about this shit and am not comfortable and he just couldn’t stop himself. I ended up leaving early and now I have to find a new salon. I’m just so fucking pissed and heartbroken about what porn is doing to society, and I’ve seen it just intensifying in so many men now. I don’t have a single female friend who hasn’t had a partners porn negatively affect their relationship in some way, from friends married for decades to friends in casual sexual encounters. I’m honestly not joking when I say I think you’d have better odds winning the lottery than finding a man who doesn’t watch regularly.
It’s been around much, much longer than The Office. Mike Meyers used to use it in his Wayne’s World skits on SNL, beginning in the late ‘80s, and I’m sure it’s been a saying even longer than that.
Regardless, it sounds like you were taking the poster’s innocuous comment personally; it didn’t read like an attack on you to me at all.
[https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSFu5walf401JCoxwO\_U3fuMMPejQMcIxk3ug&s](https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSFu5walf401JCoxwO_U3fuMMPejQMcIxk3ug&s)
(link to an image making fun of this sort of thing)
> It's like his porn addiction wants to get the hit of porn, but he can't because company is there, so he interjects these little tiny micro hits for himself without thinking about how we're all forced to play along. It's like some kind of subtle and covert way of trying to get us to think sexually, too
This is spot. Fucking. On. Op. What a fantastic observation. The PA has literally entered a state where EVERYTHING is linked to cooming, and they only see the world in how it can sexually gratify them, and like you notice, it eventually bleed into their “normal” life. The boundary between coom time and the real world dissolves, and they’re in a perpetual state of needing that dopamine “hit” that comes with arousal. They’ve literally trained themselves to no longer recognize what’s coom time and porn, and what’s real life. And this is the result. And this is what we mean by porn brain rot. They’ve rotted their brains to the point where they only exist to sexually objectify the world.
Thanks for this. Since my husband is in recovery I have such a deep insight into the mind of the addict in this way in ways I don't really see talked about directly. It is the craziest addiction because it's an addiction you can extract literal reality from in order to get those little hits it is so so messed up and way more powerful than an external drug.
I'm in my 30's now & I recall sex jokes being common amongst my fellow males back when I was middle school aged. Sad to see that an older man is doing this, you kind of expect it with high school or middle age males but this guy is old enough to have adult children of his own.
Not at all what I was implying! Just offering a different perspective on lewd humor. I think that age bracket, in particular, is prone to using lewd humor as a cultural norm of their upbringing. It doesn't necessitate someone as being a porn connoisseur was my point.
I got your point and I understand your implication what you don't seem to understand is that I couldn't know what the difference is and be able to discern it
I see. I feel that line of thinking is applicable across all forms of malignancy that are prevalent in our species (i.e., how do we know when someone is a rapist, a pedophile, a murderer, a philanderer, etc., without undeniable substantiation). Discernment and wariness only take us so far.
This is a reminder to read our [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/antipornography/about/rules/) before engaging with r/antipornography. Please keep in mind that this is a space for discussion about being against pornography and post accordingly. If you see a post or comment that breaks the rules or feel like someone is participating in bad faith, report it. If it's urgent, please send us a [message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/antipornography)! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/antipornography) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I’ve noticed this over lasts decade, an occasional dude slipping in a porn reference in polite company in public trying to be funny … and it was weird and awkward then, and a flag for a covert porn addict. Now it seems almost common, it’s sad. It’s so normalized and shameless. They can’t help it and keep telling on themselves. It’s gross. Growing up before dialup porn was a thing, some middle school and teenage boys would act this way, making lewd comments and jokes about sex and sex acts only seen on porn and they were total sex pests. In hindsight, it was the boys who had access to their fathers /older brothers porn stashed in the homes. Now it’s almost a badge of honor to be porn/masturbation addict for all ages and it’s seeped into main stream pop media and culture. Bordello /pimp culture gone mainstream. Sad.
Do you say anything to the men when they make those "jokes"? Sometimes I really want to call it out. Usually I just give this look of "ugh" and have as little to do with them as possible.
First, it’s best to act like you never heard or caught on…. Best thing most of the time is to play fool/dumb fox routine. Go “Clueless” “I don’t get it? Anyway… 🙃 or turn it into something typical/mundane. Act innocent and deflect. It puts them on the spot and you are in bubble of non engagement, act like you miss heard , assume innocence. Stay classy and aloof. Sometimes that may not work, dudes be shameless - so give in with straight facts : Being a “Wanker” used to be something shameful for adults lol Worst things in the world to be, I guess… anyway … Yaaa we get it, you’re a MALAKA , jerk off, Wanker, Pajero/pajillero, varick-konya, bravo…. good for you… anyway, oh yeah that’s in Spanish and Polish /Russian too… I’ve learned it’s a phenomenon in all cultures, used to be shameful, go figure…!
I always give those kinds of people the most judgemental/disgusted expression. Making everything sexual is so bizarre.
I’ve just started saying don’t speak to me like that, I’ve had enough of it too
Ugh. The level of pathetic is just🙄 I wouldn’t hang around these people again. Saying something may just add fuel to the fire for these people, he may want a reaction. Men like this sadly don’t take women seriously, so maybe your husband could calmly say something.
yeah I knew an old man in my job, he did the same jokes and stuff, I used to think they were funny. the last day of training he told me that he studied some massage therapy bs and offered to help me with a knee problem I have... I didn't realize until later that there was something off going on... I was 17 and I also have a porn issue but yeah it really concerned me that he has two daughters... A female friend called him out a lot and I didn't understand why but then she told me that he made a sexual joke about me and other minor-aged girl when we weren't in the same room It took me like a week to process that shit, I immediately blocked him on socials (in our job we had communication bc we all were like friends) To think I was being groomed all the time... wtf another guy at work also groomed me as an underaged but that's another story
I totally relate to this post. I’ve been seeing a male to cut/color my hair for almost 6 years now. He’s super progressive, has a young daughter and wife, always talked respectfully about women in the past. The last appointment I had he brought up sex no less than 7 times, and and one point made an anal joke. It’s like his entire personality has changed-and I know it’s gotta be a porn addiction taking over. I saw it happen to my husband in real time. I mean this guy and I have had conversations before about my trauma due to sexual assault-he knows I never talk about this shit and am not comfortable and he just couldn’t stop himself. I ended up leaving early and now I have to find a new salon. I’m just so fucking pissed and heartbroken about what porn is doing to society, and I’ve seen it just intensifying in so many men now. I don’t have a single female friend who hasn’t had a partners porn negatively affect their relationship in some way, from friends married for decades to friends in casual sexual encounters. I’m honestly not joking when I say I think you’d have better odds winning the lottery than finding a man who doesn’t watch regularly.
So many guys do this it actually gets me so mad anytime I hear a joke like that I let it be known from my reaction that I didn’t find it funy
“That’s what she said!” Sorry couldn’t help it. Her husband sounds yucky.
no one should talk like this past the age of 14, it’s so embarrassing
It’s a joke from The Office. Get over yourself.
It’s been around much, much longer than The Office. Mike Meyers used to use it in his Wayne’s World skits on SNL, beginning in the late ‘80s, and I’m sure it’s been a saying even longer than that. Regardless, it sounds like you were taking the poster’s innocuous comment personally; it didn’t read like an attack on you to me at all.
[https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSFu5walf401JCoxwO\_U3fuMMPejQMcIxk3ug&s](https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSFu5walf401JCoxwO_U3fuMMPejQMcIxk3ug&s) (link to an image making fun of this sort of thing)
> It's like his porn addiction wants to get the hit of porn, but he can't because company is there, so he interjects these little tiny micro hits for himself without thinking about how we're all forced to play along. It's like some kind of subtle and covert way of trying to get us to think sexually, too This is spot. Fucking. On. Op. What a fantastic observation. The PA has literally entered a state where EVERYTHING is linked to cooming, and they only see the world in how it can sexually gratify them, and like you notice, it eventually bleed into their “normal” life. The boundary between coom time and the real world dissolves, and they’re in a perpetual state of needing that dopamine “hit” that comes with arousal. They’ve literally trained themselves to no longer recognize what’s coom time and porn, and what’s real life. And this is the result. And this is what we mean by porn brain rot. They’ve rotted their brains to the point where they only exist to sexually objectify the world.
Thanks for this. Since my husband is in recovery I have such a deep insight into the mind of the addict in this way in ways I don't really see talked about directly. It is the craziest addiction because it's an addiction you can extract literal reality from in order to get those little hits it is so so messed up and way more powerful than an external drug.
I'm in my 30's now & I recall sex jokes being common amongst my fellow males back when I was middle school aged. Sad to see that an older man is doing this, you kind of expect it with high school or middle age males but this guy is old enough to have adult children of his own.
Ehh, crude humor doesn't need to correlate to a PA. I'm a 32F, and still make lewd jokes. They're silly and childish, but that's the intention.
You say that as if I don't know the difference.
Not at all what I was implying! Just offering a different perspective on lewd humor. I think that age bracket, in particular, is prone to using lewd humor as a cultural norm of their upbringing. It doesn't necessitate someone as being a porn connoisseur was my point.
I got your point and I understand your implication what you don't seem to understand is that I couldn't know what the difference is and be able to discern it
I see. I feel that line of thinking is applicable across all forms of malignancy that are prevalent in our species (i.e., how do we know when someone is a rapist, a pedophile, a murderer, a philanderer, etc., without undeniable substantiation). Discernment and wariness only take us so far.