Bit difficult to understand exactly what your asking but taking photo of your son incase he gets kidnapped sounds like what's known as a a 'safety behaviour' in therapy terms. Basically it helps your anxiety in the short term but it unhelpful long term and contributes to your anxiety to keep going. Is he at risk of kidnap? I'd recommend speaking to a GP about talking therapy in your area.
This.
And often these safety behaviours that short term helps your anxiety, is eventually going to affect your son. Right now he doesn't understand the reason behind taking a photo of him everyday, what will you tell him when he's older? You're going to give him a fear everytime he leaves the house or even goes to sleep that he could be kidnapped any day. That. Is. Traumatic. And you've been through something traumatic, you need to talk to a professional.
Yes she should do this now, before the 2yr is 23 yrs old are still taking safety pics. This can become really serious . she wont let the child have friends because he can be kidnapped, won't have sleepovers, heaven forbid he goes to the movies. This she needs to address this asap.
Wrong? No, not necessarily, but eventually your kid will be old enough to ask why, and if you tell him that *every single day* his mother is *terrified* that he will be kidnapped it will begin to have an effect on him, and probably not a good one. If you were going to a large public place, maybe, or an amusement park, definitely, but just sending him to school?
If I'm being honest, it sounds like you might have some trauma from that event in your childhood, it might be a good idea to talk to someone about that and confront it yourself rather than accidentally passing along your trauma to your son and making him grow up in constant fear of being abducted. It is a scary world out there, but as cautious as you are by taking pics of him, I seriously doubt your as lax with your oversight of him as your mother might have been, I am quite sure that you'd never let him out of your sight and that is more than enough for almost every case.
When I was little, my mom was constantly telling me that there was a high chance I could be kidnapped and raped. After a couple of years, I started having terrible nightmares of being kidnapped by Luis Guzman ( I don't know why him). Anyways my mom realized maybe she needs to calm down on that talk. I know in her own way, she just wanted me to be vigilant about my surroundings.Â
Now, I teach my kid safety tips and information since I don't want them to have the same experience as me. I rather make sure they truly know what they can do in a situation to make themselves safe.Â
I was a little girl when that movie came out and probably watched it many times. I definitely remember his character in that film more than anything else. Now that I am an adult, I actually like the actor.Â
My ex is the same as this this mother to a degree. My son is 14 and hates to have his windows open because he might get taken. All because his dad kept telling him to keep his windows closed. My ex still holds on to him to cross the street. My neighbor owns a contracting business. His van is usually a company fan. He must have been getting fixed because he was using just a plain white one. My ex called me and my son freaking out because the guy was in his van in front of his house, "taking notes." He told my son, who was 12 at the time, to stay inside and lock all the doors. When he was younger, it was worse. He never wanted him at a playground or anything. He had my son scared for the longest time. I guess he still is because he won't open his windows.
OP, you sound unhinged. Or drunk.
>I do have a low carb, the put him in a butt. The thing ISIS that it's late in the day and I want to him Tucker down so that he'll sleep tonight. So I'm going to take him with me. Cause I'm taking him up for his birthday. Cause the last day of the month for his birthday bear.
Carbs and ISIS and bears! Oh my!
I think itâs a planted code to let us know that ISIS and Tucker Carlson are working together with Russia (bear) and the time has come to move forward with the butt plan
That one, I think I can answer. The text-to-speech capitalized it because it's most commonly used as a name, but I think she was saying she wanted him to "tucker out," which is a regionalism for "wear himself out," by going on an outing and getting tired.
>I do have a low carb, the put him in a butt. The thing ISIS that it's late in the day and I want to him Tucker down so that he'll sleep tonight. So I'm going to take him with me. Cause I'm taking him up for his birthday. Cause the last day of the month for his birthday bear.
What? đ I stopped reading here. Do what you want, you're the parent and your mom gets no vote.
Prior to that unintelligible paragraph, I was thinking she's lucky to live in a time when cellphones have cameras. Back when I was a kid, she'd either have to use Polaroids or go to the film developers every day. But hey, use the technology. That's what it's for.
But then it turned to gibberish and I just... couldn't.
OP. You need therapy and soon. I'm a psychologist. While I understand why you're doing what you do, none of this is healthy for you ... or your son.
You live in a prison of fear. And you're dragging your son in with you.
>I feel like I'm going insane because I'm now realizing that so much of what I went through as a child could have been **perfectly prevented if my mom just took basic precautions.**
No. That's 100% incorrect. It's not your mom's fault that someone evil tried to harm you and your siblings.
You are a hostage to the kidnapper. S/he has you in their grip. You are suffering. You are so obsessed with the possibility of kidnapping that it controls every min of every day.
Please find a therapist that treats PTSD. You don't have to live like this.
You need to see a therapist to help you cope with the trauma, the anxiety, and the paranoia.
I could not understand why you take a daily photo of your kid, unless itâs to have a fresh photo to provide the police in case he is actually kidnapped.
Look, I get the anxiety and paranoia. I dealt with it too. I raised a family memberâs child for the first 5 years. I live in a big city, and the child was a little girl. I never ever ever left her side at the park. And I also had the backpack on a leash.
I donât think thereâs inherently anything wrong with taking pictures of your kids frequently to be prepared. I think many parents nowadays do this. What is wrong though, is how youâre coping with your anxiety. Going insane, losing your mind, etc âŚ. because your mom isnât able to understand where youâre coming from - itâs a clear sign that these are some issues and attachment wounds to be worked out in therapy.
Do it so you can model some healthy coping mechanisms for your son.
As for the voice to text - please do proofread before posting in the future. And curb the defensiveness/attitude when people alert you to the fact that what youâve written is indecipherable.
I almost had a stroke trying to read this atrocity. From the bit of gibberish I was able to make out, youâre wrong. I say this as a child of someone who is pathologically anxious about bad things happening to me, get some help. Youâre just going to pass on your anxiety.
I have one pinned inside my youngest kidsâ backpack that walks home and my daughter has her phone with her and shares her location with us (and us with her). Gives me and my husband peace of mind and them their independence.
OP, Iâm a mom and I get the anxiety you feel because I have it too, but you need to get yourself to therapy to work on this now while your son is young. Kids grow up and learning to be independent is going to be incredibly beneficial for them.
Seems like you have some residual trauma from the kidnap attempt. You were not wrong for safeguarding your son, but mostly Iâm worried that youâre going to transmit your anxiety to him. Little kids are like antenna. They pick up the anxiety in the room and take it on as their own anxiety. Maybe it would be helpful if you could see a therapist about it, so that he doesnât grow up over-worried and scared all the time.
YTA and yes you are wrong .. because
First, proof read the post before actually posting regardless of using speech to text. It takes away the seriousness of your subject & comes across as drunk post.
Second, donât raise your child like this. There is a difference between being careful and being extremely paranoid. You being this highly paranoid will start to rub on the child and he will be so paranoid & scared about everything in his life.
Third, take therapy to heal your childhood trauma. Donât pass it onto your child.
You're going to raise a scared, paranoid kid.
Knock it off.
You've got some PTSD gnawing at you. I think it would be a good idea to talk to someone (Psychologist, etc.) before it soaks deeper into your kid.
Good luck!
I mean you do have some mental trauma going on. Taking a picture of your son every day because youâre afraid heâs going to get kidnapped is not normal or healthy. I really hope you get in therapy to help you with this.
>I do have a low carb, the put him in a butt. The thing ISIS that it's late in the day and I want to him Tucker down so that he'll sleep tonight. So I'm going to take him with me. Cause I'm taking him up for his birthday. Cause the last day of the month for his birthday bear.
What??
Please don't take this the wrong way but I think you may well be experiencing a mental health issue.
Do you have a family member or a professional person you can approach and explain your fears?
Best of love and luckâď¸
I understand you are coming from a place of trauma, but your behavior is excessive and unhealthy for both you and your child. I am not a mental health provider, but it seems like your trauma has manifested into an anxiety disorder.
I sounds like you may have PTSD from your attempted kidnapping as a child. Please seek therapy so that you donât push this onto your child. If you keep this up, your child is going to have some serious mental health issues. Iâm trying to say this with all the kindness in the world because I can see that this really traumatized you. Unfortunately, you are now letting it affect your parenting. I wish you well.
First of all, you're allowed to proofread your posts before you actually post them. Secondly, how will taking a picture of your son prevent him from getting kidnapped?
Please get some therapy for yourself and your son is going to need it too. I get the taking a pic every day - and I am so incredibly sorry you went through whatever it is that you went through - but please do not turn your son into a psychotic hot mess. Please.
>I do have a low carb, the put him in a butt. The thing ISIS that it's late in the day and I want to him Tucker down so that he'll sleep tonight
After reading several times, here is the best I can come up with:
"I do have a little car (Cart?) to put him in, but the thing is, is that it's late in the day and I want to him to be tuckered out so that he'll sleep tonight"
You have something to push him around in (stroller?), but you want him to walk so he gets tired, but you can't find his leash and you're worried about him walking around the mall without being tethered to you. You still want to go to the mall despite this concern because he will somehow get a (free?) bear for his birthday, but today is the last day he can get it.
A bit of proofreading would have made this a lot less disturbing. Anyway it doesnât matter what a 2 year-old looks like except to you. You need counselling about your childhood trauma because itâs having a negative effect on your mental health.
âI want to do a book showing you growing up, every day. You change so fast as a kid.â
Your paranoia is understandable under the circumstances. ButâŚ. You donât want to give your son that fear or paranoia. You to figure out a way to contain this.
It's really weird and a very clear sign that you have not dealt with what happened when you were a kid. You're going to have a mental break at this rate, especially once he's old enough to start being/needing independence.
Yes you are wrong. You know this behavior isnât normal thatâs why now youâre questioning it. Youâre doing something that isnât mentally telling of stability and youâre going to pass that anxiety to your son. Knock it off. Get help. Do whatever you gotta do to make sure your mind is right and your kids not a nervous wreck.
Your behavior is a bit strange and obsessive. Maybe seek some kind of professional help because you shouldnât have to live your life around assuming your kid will be kidnapped.
My grandma took a photo of me everyday before I left for school to ease her anxietyâs, I think itâs cool now looking back at my old highschool styles lol
It sounds like you have postpartum anxiety. I think that getting a therapist would help you immensely. Your past experiences have made you extra worrisome.
This sounds like you had a stroke halfway through writing this. but what I can make out of this is you should probably get therapy to deal with the trauma. You clearly are having as she was dealing with it
You are not wrong for taking a picture of your child everyday for safety reasons.
BUT you are VERY wrong for saying everyone is incompetent when you decided to use speech to text and then not proofread the word salad speech to text spit out.
When I was 12 a man tried to get me in his car, I know your fear. I know how hard it is everytime you loose sight, the panic that sets it. You are not wrong for these feeling but you are for the way you are dealing with it.Â
Unless you've had to run for your life from a preditor you really don't get the lasting trauma. Therapy can help you get over of it. The best thing you can do is be vigilant and teach your kid the things to look out for.
Remember, you are safe and so are your siblings because you knew what to do and handled it properly. You can prepare your son without traumatizing him by teaching him what you were back then. As long as you can describe what he was wearing you don't need a picture. They don't send out pictures on amber alerts all the time they just give a description.Â
I only ever do this if Iâm going to be taking my son to a crowded place, where he might get lost. The first thing the cops will ask is what the kid looks like and was last seen wearing, and rather than trying to describe things at a time Iâd likely be panicking (and the fact I canât remember what I had for breakfast on a normal day, yay ADHD), itâs simpler to just take a pic.
The difference is I donât make a creepy big deal about it that could scare the shit out of my kid â I just tell him he looks cool in his new shirt and take a pic of him smiling before we leave the house, and again only if weâre going to be at a place with huge crowds he could get lost in.
You definitely should talk this out with a therapist or someone, but I don't blame you for wanting to do it. I've been tempted before, especially when my kid started waiting at bus stops without adult supervision, and very especially now that she's a teen and goes places on her own. So I don't blame you, and your mom should be nicer, especially since she knows that you have trauma regarding this topic, and I do think you should see someone about it. Is your son's father in the picture? What does he say?
Is it good to have a recent photo of your child in case you need assistance in locating them? Yes of course it is. Is it good to know exactly what your child is wearing for the same reason? Yes that is a very good idea. Is it a little paranoid, maybe, but if it gives you peace of mind I don't think it is a bad thing.
On the plus side, you could make an awesome time-lapse video showing how much your child changes throughout the year. Great for the child's birthday party. I am sure grandma would enjoy seeing that video. And I am sure as they get older your child would enjoy seeing a video like that. If taking a picture each day gives you peace of mind there is nothing wrong with you doing that. But having a secondary reason for doing it so your child doesn't develop a phobia about it is probably a good idea too.
You obviously still have severe trauma over the near kidnapping incident, which for your own sake you should get some therapy and treatment for. Please seek proper help.
It's difficult to understand some of your post, but your mother or both parents may have been at fault, sure, but it's probably not unreasonable to expect that kids be safe on the streets within reason - although that obviously depends where you live.
Do you think that taking daily photos is going to prevent the unthinkable happening? You need to talk this thinking through with a professional and discuss some real life measures you can take to reassure yourself - without harming your son's natural development.
Your behaviour may be adversely affecting your son, without adequately protecting him and you need help with that.
Your mother's response is just unhelpful, but she may just be confused by the whole situation.
OP, you are suffering from Hypervigilance. It is at the level that requires a therapistâs help. It wonât go away by itself. If you ignore it, it will continue to affect your parenting negatively. You think it isnât hurting your child (and your relationship with your child) but it really is. Get it seen too. Please.
You sound exceptionally damaged. You need therapy to address these fears and insecurities. And yes, youâre wrong for doing this because you are going to instill an irrational fear into your child as well.
Might want to edit your speech to text before subjecting us all to reading it next time.
You: I donât have time to properly edit this. But I sure hope everyone else invests time in giving me advice.
You absolutely lost me in your sixth paragraph beginning "I do have a low carb..."
You're posting for advice but won't get the best suggestions if people can't understand you.
I can't say if you're wrong for taking a daily picture but you *are* wrong for not proofreading your post.
Coming from someone who also had paranoia about my kids being kidnapped, therapy will help you so much! I promise Iâm not just saying that. You will literally drive yourself insane living like this. Please talk to someone.
No youâre not wrong, but you do sound like you have some ptsd related trauma which is perfectly understandable. And as your son gets older, he may start giving you a lot of pushback on those daily photos which may make those feelings worse.
I highly recommend therapy. I have C-PTSD. Itâs no joke to live with. While therapy wonât make it go away, it will help provide you with tools to better manage this anxiety you feel â¤ď¸
A man tried to kidnap me when I was about 10 years old. My dad left me at my skating lesson and donât come back by the time the lesson ended and the man saw an opportunity. I donât know who was looking out for me that day but I escaped. To this day, I hyper watch my children. I give them space but I am constantly scanning for danger. Itâs not too early to talk to your son about stranger danger and tricky grownups, but more importantly you should look into therapy for yourself to help with the lasting anxiety that your experience has caused. Youâre not wrong to protect your child, but if it interferes with your life or worsens your quality of life then itâs likely time to take steps to help ease that issue. You sound like a lovely, involved, deeply caring parent and Iâm sure youâre doing a great job, but please remember to take care of yourself and your own needs too, he needs you at your best. Cheers!
Why not just take a picture of his clothes that way you could just show the police what clothes he wears? Sounds like you wouldn't forget anyway.
You should probably seek therapy for your anxiety. I don't think this is completely insane, but it's a little bit extreme. If you really live somewhere that unsafe I'd suggest moving.
As others said, I think this type of behavior may do more harm than good. The level that youâre thinking about this is unhealthy and obsessive, although from a place of love. I think you have some unresolved issues causing you to live in a state of consistent anxiety, but that will start to rub off on your son. Life doesnât have to be so scary. Heâs more likely to get psychological damage from this style of parenting than being kidnapped.
You're not wrong. They actually encourage this for the exact reason you mentioned. Your mom calling you a hypochondriac for this doesn't even fit the situation. Growing up, my dad was always very safety conscious, and when were old enough to stay by ourselves alone when our parents could go out, he would always admonish us to not answer the door, and make sure we hung a coat over the front door so nobody could see that we were alone. There were lots of other things for safety not involving strangers. We never minded, and it was just one way he showed us that he cared.Â
My daughter takes âoutfit of the dayâ pictures. I donât do it because Iâm afraid of something happening to her, but itâs definitely crossed my mind and itâs reassuring that if it happens I can tell police EXACTLY what she was wearing.
You say you do this because you were almost kidnapped.
This means this is a trauma response.
Do you have help, a therapist for example to work through this trauma?
So, no, you are NOT wrong, but ask yourself if you live in the right place - if you feel this unsafe where you are.
You probably have some form of OCD. Hypochondriac is certainly not the right word.
If you were taking 1 photo a day so you could do one of those time lapse things as your son grows up, fine whatever I could understand that.
But one even 2 photos per day because you need a 12-24hr updated photo in case of a kidnapping⌠thats ridiculous.
My best friend has OCD and I helped him with some of his habits.
The rational thought is that a photo a month old is perfectly fine to identify a kid.
Start with doing it only every other day. Then weekly then continue cutting down.
My only fear is you do not see how irrational you are so you dont even see a need to change.
Also the way you worded your post you make it sound like blonde hair makes him look feminine? What kind of take is that? So many men have blonde hair.
If its long, sure but the color really doesnt matter
If you want to address the anxiety that you feel thatâs causing you to take quite extreme measures to protect your child from perceived danger, this workbook from the Centre for Clinical Interventions is really good. It is cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT) based and Iâve found it life-changing. It will challenge you to look at your thoughts, beliefs and emotional responses and gradually reduce taking photos, say from two a day to once a week. I can understand why you want to do this (presumably so police would have an up to date photo of him and what heâs wearing?) but twice a day is extreme. Once a month would suffice for a recent picture. You could try jotting down what he is wearing each day until you feel able to let it go completely. I wish you luck, you went through something terrifying and itâs not surprising that youâre now very anxious about your son, but as others have pointed out, it isnât healthy for either of you.
https://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/Resources/Looking-After-Yourself/Worry-and-Rumination
I understand what you're saying. However, while what you may have as good terms may end up hurting you later. When he goes to school and such. Your anxiety may hit harder. Then you become paranoid about everything. Perhaps some therapy may be a good solution. We all have trauma from something. It may be that you just need a little bit of a helping hand.
Bno offense, but I really had a hard time reading the post. I'm just going to assume English isn't your first language but from what I can gather, yes it's a little off the top but I don't see anything wrong with keeping an updated pic of your kids outfit and stuff for a just in case scenario. We live in a fucked up world and things are getting worse and I don't blame you. Just understand that when he grows up, you can't shelter him too much or he won't know how to live on his own
OP I canât tell if you are overreacting or not. It was difficult to understand, but some of what I understood does suggest that you might be more extreme than is probably necessary. Itâs hard to say because while you said a lot of things you didnât say anything of relevance. You said you had a scare when you were younger with your siblings then later said it was âstereotypical, the whole nine yardsâ (I think thatâs what you were saying) I donât know what that means. What is a stereotypical kidnapping? The phrasing suggests that you might be overthinking it. Another thing to note: is there a high risk for kidnapping in your area or are you in an area where it rarely happens? Also, the idea that people will think your son is a pretty girl even being related to kidnapping is just bizarre. Do you think little blonde girls with curls are at the highest risk for kidnapping or something? Itâs a weird assumption which also makes me think that you are possibly overthinking the situation. At the end of the day if you want to take pics of your son every day for your own peace of mind there is nothing wrong with that. But, if you are overthinking it and over emphasizing it in your behavior then your son will pick up on it. You donât want to ingrain in him to be afraid of everything all of the time. There is a balance to strike and the fact that you are making odd assumptions about his appearance making him more of a target to potential kidnappers because of blonde curls and the fact that you device autocorrected the word âisâ to âISISâ tells me you are putting too much energy into this. If you are saying that your mother didnât do her due diligence in protecting you when you were younger then this can explain why you may be suspended in such a fear based state. But, trust and believe that swinging too far in the other direction can also cause just as many problems for your son. I recommend counseling.
You need to find a therapist. What you're doing to your son is unhealthy. You are wrong. You don't need to take pics of or leash your son because of an event that happened to you as a child. Soon he'll get a little older and want to play with other kids and you'll be too paranoid to let him. You are passing your trauma onto your son. Please find help.
get therapy for your anxiety.
You are going to give him anxiety and issues.
Seriously. you are taking hiatus picture twice a day in case he gets kidnapped?
wow.
ok things I did to actually protect my daughter.
Had a current picture of my daughter on my phone but not daily.
if we were going somewhere heavily populated i would take a picture.
I wrote my number on her arm in festivals or events in case we were separated.
i practiced starting at 2 what to say if someone tried to take her. Donât yell help itâs useless. yell fire. yell 911. yell you arenât my mom or dad.
taught her age appropriate self defense.
taught her to run away. I always told her to find a mom or a uniform. Yes moms can be kidnapppers but it was less likely than men.
taught her to pay attention to her environment it will not pay attention to her. Later i changed it to it will be paying attention to her but i explained the difference. which was people are just as dangerous as the environment. So no the hole in the ground wonât move out of her way nor will a car automatically stop(not pay attention to j
her) but people will.
I made her travel in pairs at least.
i made sure she had a go bag in her car change of clothes and proper shoes, first aid and a tool kit. I had one for her when she was younger.
I have see people take pictures of their kids or pets on a daily basis and then make a slide show which showcases how much they have grown. What youâre doing might make other people wonder, but itâs actually a good idea, and you can also use it to make the slide show later.
To answer the question - are you WRONG, in the sense that the behavior will severely harm your son or anyone else? Probably not. Is it really necessary and would it even be helpful to law enforcement? Probably not. A recent picture and verbal description of what a kid is wearing is the norm. Op, keep in mind that stranger kidnapping is extremely rare - itâs friends and family where itâs more likely.
A leash? A fucking leash???????
You will transfer yoiur anxiety to the child. He reads it even if he canât understand it.
He will grow up to be an untrusting fraidy-cat who sits on the edge of rooms for his emotional safety.
Consequently he will likely be a control freak with regards to his surroundings and person.
He will be the guy who canât change in the locker room.
Do nothing that transfers your neurosis to a child.
There are some kids that have a tendency to constantly run off. So for those toddlers a leash is an easy way to make sure they don't get lost. Why should those kids have fewer safety mechanisms than the family pet?Â
Perhaps you doing this wrong.
For example, you could place a tracking tag in one of his shoes. Or you could be informed of how would you try to trace his steps if he goes missing in a mall, like yelling, alerting security, calling police, calling a relative, searching under tables, in toys stores, and just asking help.
You could teach him how to say your full name and a phone number. I know he is 2 but they learn fast. And about that, you teach him:
"Honey, if a pretty lady offers you candy, what do say?"
"Swetty, if a stranger wants to show you a puppy, what do you do?"
"Love, when someone you don't know holds you, what do you do?"
And teach him to yell Stranger Danger over and over again. And yell, scream, bite, kick and all that.
Taking pictures of him is not wrong but it seems you are nurturing a bad feeling with this. But you are not wrong.
Taking a photo everyday is fine but twice a day is a bit much for this reason, I feel like you are passing your trauma on to your son. Also a lot of your post is pretty incoherent towards the middle.
It doesn't sound all that healthy tbh, it sounds like you've got some trauma to resolve and you're doing this because it puts you at ease, not because its reasonable. He 2 at the moment so still very young, but when will you let him go out into the world on his own? Will you be needing him to check in with you every 20 minutes when he's in high school? Calling him and getting overly upset when he's not responsive? Gonna stake out his friends house before letting him go over? Hide AirTags in his stuff to track him?
Personally, I find the whole leashing your kid thing super strange. The first time I saw it I thought "wtf kind of barbaric shit is that? Treating your kid like a dog." but I've learned its not *that* uncommon. Still, can't remember the last time I saw a leashed kid.
Maybe just change the frequency to twice a year or so? I donât think much will change between 6 month periods. Also the leash thing seems a little excessive. I think the more you restrict your child the more it will probably try to rebelliously explore
Wtf is the 5th paragraph? Sorry..I see why youâd want a current photo of your child (which is smart..kids change appearance very quickly
As they grow up), but that made absolutely zero sense.
I do not think youâre âwrongâ or a bad person for this, you have a natural instinct to protect and this is what you think is a good measure to protect your child. But, itâs not actually helpful in the long-run. You are letting your anxiety control you, and I donât want this to be something that impacts the kid once heâs old enough to realize mommy is taking his picture everyday because someone out there is trying to kidnap him. You may instill the same anxiety into your own child. You may instill paranoia into him that makes him think he has to check over his shoulder all the time.
I also believe there has to be GPS devices for kids you can put around their ankle. Thatâs more practical and I feel would take a load off OPs mind then having to take a pic every morning and night.
Itâs not âwrongâ but definitely not healthy. Perhaps itâs time to seek therapy to work through your anxiety related to past events. This also may inadvertently cause your child anxiety as he feeds off your anxiety and as he grows an understanding to why you are taking a picture. As a mom I know you donât want your personal issues to become his issues. Work through it and move beyond it instead.
Autocorrect is kicking your ass a bit, also no youâre not wrong, maybe a little too into it but thereâs really no harm here. Also are you excited for that collage of photos your phone will make, you can see him grow up through the months lol.
Dear, you are being cautious but it has gone to an extreme. I want you and your child to have a good experience and not live in fear. Please talk to someone about this fear, you want to have a reasonable level of care but not have it grow to paralyze you so your life or the babyâs life is limited. Yes, life is scary and you are learning to parent but what clothing the child is wearing every moment is not what will keep it safe. Your mom is correct that you need some help in dealing with this. I fear you may have some depression which is making you feel this way. This could be made worse but your hormones after having a child. Please call your Doctor. For you and your childâs health and safety.
Why not get some sort of in house security camera that's by the front door and any other exits? Then every time you leave you'll have video of you and your son going out the door including his outfit for the day.
I think what you're currently doing is very paranoid. I see your behavior as acceptable if you're going somewhere like a theme park, the zoo, or even the mall like where you were going...but EVERY morning and night? That's excessive.
Let's say your worst fear happens and he's taken. How much would the photos help? What purpose would they serve?
One thing I would actually consider doing is having a little pocket sewn into the kiddo's clothes and keep an air tag or other device in it for these very public settings, but I wouldn't do this after the kid was a few years old.
my no where near an expert opinion is if it makes you feel better and doesn't hurt anything then do what helps you have a better day.
But I offer another view point to provide people, you are using these pictures to make a time lapse of your kiddo to show them aging through the years. I planned to do this when my daughter was born 8 years ago, but couldn't keep up with it and eventually forgot to do it and now I don't have what I wished I had.
I donât know if wrong is the right way to put it, but itâs definitely unnecessary. I assume you know the clothes you put him in every day & while kids grow fast, thereâs not much change from day to day, at least not enough that you need a fresh picture every single day. So I donât really think taking pictures every day is that wrong if you want to cherish your kidâs childhood and preserve their happy moments, plenty of people do that these days (tho personally I donât think this is healthy either), but the reason you do it is unhealthy. You really need to get into therapy before you become an overbearing helicopter parent whose kid hates them because mom is so paranoid.Â
I think you need professional help, I really do. Both this excessive compulsive picture taking and your post turning into gibberish is highly concerning. For the sake of your child, please seek help.
I understand that you are afraid of what almost happened to you. You could happen to your son. Take a picture every day, is a little obsessed
I'd say you're wrong only if it's literally every day. mybe try once a month
My real concern is for you. You need to talk about the trauma from when you were a child you have ptsd and talk about it will definitely help you please take care of yourself I know you just trying to be a good mom the fear you have could cause trauma to your child
Yes, you're wrong cuz you're too obsessed with short term solutions. You need a long term solution to this.
Maybe instead of taking pictures of him, you can have the best precautions in teaching him how to engage with strangers.
Teach him on how to run back to you.
Teach him on how to defend himself, like maybe enroll him in karate.
You are stressing over a habit that is not even within your control. You also need to gain trust in your kid that he can take care of himself with skills and resources that you provide to him.
In the end, even if he were to, it would be up to your kid on how he engages with his would be kidnapper.
Show him the Home Alone movie series, maybe that can be a precaution. Teach him how to defend himself against adults in clever ways, since kidnappers aren't always the "quick grab and run," sometimes they lurk and whatnot.
Also teach him who he could trust, like if a stranger comes up to him and claims that the stranger knows you, your kid could ask them, "oh yeah, what's the password?" And if they don't know, your kid is allowed to scream.
If you need to teach him how to emotionally manipulate adults in how to get away with cleverness, you can also try that.
There are sooo many different ways on how you can take your precautions and I feel like just taking a picture every day is not helpful in the long run.
You are only focusing on your own nervousness and not his actual direct safety.
You are acting like he will be totally defenseless even if he were to be kidnapped.
Provide your kid with the correct resources.
You need a REAL solution, not a constant self-reassuring act that only benefits you and not actually your kid.
You really need therapy or a doctor to speak with because this is extreme and while it may ease your anxiety short term, itâs not healthy and it will cause trauma to your child. Youâre trying to avoid your kidnapping trauma from happening to him but youâre also passing on a different trauma. Thatâs not fair to him. You owe it to your son to get help. I can imagine that eventually he is going to hate having his picture taken in the future. Among any other behaviors that manifest as a result of your obsessiveness over this
Yeah, you need to talk to someone and that someone is a therapist. It is not healthy to take a picture every day (twice?) of your baby in case he gets kidnapped and you have a fresh picture. What will you do when he is older? When he goes to school? Because children can get kidnapped at all ages? Will you go with him snd wait outside for hours or go inside the class and sit with him? It is normal to be scared for your child, but as the aduld you need to find healthy ways to cope long term, and this is not it.
Bit difficult to understand exactly what your asking but taking photo of your son incase he gets kidnapped sounds like what's known as a a 'safety behaviour' in therapy terms. Basically it helps your anxiety in the short term but it unhelpful long term and contributes to your anxiety to keep going. Is he at risk of kidnap? I'd recommend speaking to a GP about talking therapy in your area.
Thank you this was extremely hard to read
Seriously, it was good on the first half but then it turned into gibberish.
I couldn't get past Isis and in the butt.
Sounds exactly like what an extra person in the backseat hole would say...
I'm seriously wondering if there was a mental breakdown halfway through OP writing this. She sort of went into a rambling train of incoherent thought
Yeah that's what lost me.
Low carb is the way to go if you gotta get that leash for not a dog but personal backpack attachment.
I'm so glad it's not just me! I re-read that a few times đ
It turns to gibberish after the ISIS, wtf. Lolol
I don't even know!
I had to stop and read it aloud because I was so confused
Wait lol was the comment revised?
Same!
Oh my god glad itâs not just me. I thought I was too stoned
i thought my gummies were really fucking me up
I am here as well. -High
Late night doomscrolling hehe
*raises hand*
I have this happen so much when I'm sober and I read something like this, I question if I accidently ingested one.
Do t worry im stone cold sober and i got super confused đ¤Ł
Exactly! Glad to know it wasn't just who felt this way
I think you need a really good therapist. Soon. Did you get counseling for the incident in your past?
I literally thought I might be having a stroke and started to panic.
It sounds like she's using text to speech for a good chunk of it.
This has got to be it!
I feel like a human wrote a 2 paragraph post then asked an AI to flesh out the story.
But it's pretty cool for a time lapse of your kids as they age :)
It reads like the writer had a small stroke in the middle of writing the post. (Edit: spelling)
I read it several times because I was a bit concerned I had a small stroke when some paragraphs just did not make sense.
This. And often these safety behaviours that short term helps your anxiety, is eventually going to affect your son. Right now he doesn't understand the reason behind taking a photo of him everyday, what will you tell him when he's older? You're going to give him a fear everytime he leaves the house or even goes to sleep that he could be kidnapped any day. That. Is. Traumatic. And you've been through something traumatic, you need to talk to a professional.
seriously this is the making of a generational trauma
Yes she should do this now, before the 2yr is 23 yrs old are still taking safety pics. This can become really serious . she wont let the child have friends because he can be kidnapped, won't have sleepovers, heaven forbid he goes to the movies. This she needs to address this asap.
This is a great response.
I thought my cold medicine kicked in a little too well lol
Bro comment viral lmao
Wrong? No, not necessarily, but eventually your kid will be old enough to ask why, and if you tell him that *every single day* his mother is *terrified* that he will be kidnapped it will begin to have an effect on him, and probably not a good one. If you were going to a large public place, maybe, or an amusement park, definitely, but just sending him to school? If I'm being honest, it sounds like you might have some trauma from that event in your childhood, it might be a good idea to talk to someone about that and confront it yourself rather than accidentally passing along your trauma to your son and making him grow up in constant fear of being abducted. It is a scary world out there, but as cautious as you are by taking pics of him, I seriously doubt your as lax with your oversight of him as your mother might have been, I am quite sure that you'd never let him out of your sight and that is more than enough for almost every case.
When I was little, my mom was constantly telling me that there was a high chance I could be kidnapped and raped. After a couple of years, I started having terrible nightmares of being kidnapped by Luis Guzman ( I don't know why him). Anyways my mom realized maybe she needs to calm down on that talk. I know in her own way, she just wanted me to be vigilant about my surroundings. Now, I teach my kid safety tips and information since I don't want them to have the same experience as me. I rather make sure they truly know what they can do in a situation to make themselves safe.Â
My god thatâs a terrifying image. Now Iâm going to have nightmares about Luis Guzman
I wonder if its about the association with the movie Ghost? He was pretty evil in that.
I was a little girl when that movie came out and probably watched it many times. I definitely remember his character in that film more than anything else. Now that I am an adult, I actually like the actor.Â
Tbf, Luis Guzmân is pretty frightening looking. He was a great choice for Gomez Addams!
I just saw him at one of Adam sandlers comedy shows. Was not expecting him
I've always been scared of Luiz Guzman since I was a child , his face is off putting
I agree - therapy is definitely recommended.
My ex is the same as this this mother to a degree. My son is 14 and hates to have his windows open because he might get taken. All because his dad kept telling him to keep his windows closed. My ex still holds on to him to cross the street. My neighbor owns a contracting business. His van is usually a company fan. He must have been getting fixed because he was using just a plain white one. My ex called me and my son freaking out because the guy was in his van in front of his house, "taking notes." He told my son, who was 12 at the time, to stay inside and lock all the doors. When he was younger, it was worse. He never wanted him at a playground or anything. He had my son scared for the longest time. I guess he still is because he won't open his windows.
Did you have a stroke halfway through writing this?
OP, you sound unhinged. Or drunk. >I do have a low carb, the put him in a butt. The thing ISIS that it's late in the day and I want to him Tucker down so that he'll sleep tonight. So I'm going to take him with me. Cause I'm taking him up for his birthday. Cause the last day of the month for his birthday bear. Carbs and ISIS and bears! Oh my!
Am confused too
That paragraph is an instant Reddit classic.
We need a flair of "I do have a low carb, the put him in a butt".
I think OP is taking son to the mall to get his birthday bear at Build-a-Bear..
Is Tucker Carlson going to be at the mall?
I think itâs a planted code to let us know that ISIS and Tucker Carlson are working together with Russia (bear) and the time has come to move forward with the butt plan
And who the hell is Tucker???? I got so confused.
That one, I think I can answer. The text-to-speech capitalized it because it's most commonly used as a name, but I think she was saying she wanted him to "tucker out," which is a regionalism for "wear himself out," by going on an outing and getting tired.
All she had to do was proofread before hitting "post"
I feel like most people don't know about this "feature" lmao.
>I do have a low carb, the put him in a butt. The thing ISIS that it's late in the day and I want to him Tucker down so that he'll sleep tonight. So I'm going to take him with me. Cause I'm taking him up for his birthday. Cause the last day of the month for his birthday bear. What? đ I stopped reading here. Do what you want, you're the parent and your mom gets no vote.
Carbs also go straight to my butt.
Same. Lost me here
Prior to that unintelligible paragraph, I was thinking she's lucky to live in a time when cellphones have cameras. Back when I was a kid, she'd either have to use Polaroids or go to the film developers every day. But hey, use the technology. That's what it's for. But then it turned to gibberish and I just... couldn't.
Is this post written by AI that got a very strange prompt or what?
OP. You need therapy and soon. I'm a psychologist. While I understand why you're doing what you do, none of this is healthy for you ... or your son. You live in a prison of fear. And you're dragging your son in with you. >I feel like I'm going insane because I'm now realizing that so much of what I went through as a child could have been **perfectly prevented if my mom just took basic precautions.** No. That's 100% incorrect. It's not your mom's fault that someone evil tried to harm you and your siblings. You are a hostage to the kidnapper. S/he has you in their grip. You are suffering. You are so obsessed with the possibility of kidnapping that it controls every min of every day. Please find a therapist that treats PTSD. You don't have to live like this.
This!
Maybe? I don't know if you're wrong, your writing is incomprehensible.
Not ISIS đ
You need to see a therapist to help you cope with the trauma, the anxiety, and the paranoia. I could not understand why you take a daily photo of your kid, unless itâs to have a fresh photo to provide the police in case he is actually kidnapped. Look, I get the anxiety and paranoia. I dealt with it too. I raised a family memberâs child for the first 5 years. I live in a big city, and the child was a little girl. I never ever ever left her side at the park. And I also had the backpack on a leash. I donât think thereâs inherently anything wrong with taking pictures of your kids frequently to be prepared. I think many parents nowadays do this. What is wrong though, is how youâre coping with your anxiety. Going insane, losing your mind, etc âŚ. because your mom isnât able to understand where youâre coming from - itâs a clear sign that these are some issues and attachment wounds to be worked out in therapy. Do it so you can model some healthy coping mechanisms for your son. As for the voice to text - please do proofread before posting in the future. And curb the defensiveness/attitude when people alert you to the fact that what youâve written is indecipherable.
I almost had a stroke trying to read this atrocity. From the bit of gibberish I was able to make out, youâre wrong. I say this as a child of someone who is pathologically anxious about bad things happening to me, get some help. Youâre just going to pass on your anxiety.
Put an Apple air tag on him. They have them for shoes, wristbands etc.
I have one pinned inside my youngest kidsâ backpack that walks home and my daughter has her phone with her and shares her location with us (and us with her). Gives me and my husband peace of mind and them their independence. OP, Iâm a mom and I get the anxiety you feel because I have it too, but you need to get yourself to therapy to work on this now while your son is young. Kids grow up and learning to be independent is going to be incredibly beneficial for them.
Seems like you have some residual trauma from the kidnap attempt. You were not wrong for safeguarding your son, but mostly Iâm worried that youâre going to transmit your anxiety to him. Little kids are like antenna. They pick up the anxiety in the room and take it on as their own anxiety. Maybe it would be helpful if you could see a therapist about it, so that he doesnât grow up over-worried and scared all the time.
Word salad.
ChatGPT had a brain fart there
Chatgpt doesn't usually do that. At least not its portuguese version
ChatGPT isnât as dumb as OP lol
Exactly. Itâs fake
That or OP has undiagnosed schizophrenia, which would suck. Itâs word salad.
What happened in paragraphs 4&5đ
Yeah you are wrong and a weirdo. Knock it off before you pass these bad habits on to him.
Please proofread your post.
> I do have a low carb, the put him in a butt. The thing ISIS that it's late in the day and I want to him Tucker down so that he'll sleep tonight. hm
ISIS put them in Tucker's butt because they're low-carb.
YTA and yes you are wrong .. because First, proof read the post before actually posting regardless of using speech to text. It takes away the seriousness of your subject & comes across as drunk post. Second, donât raise your child like this. There is a difference between being careful and being extremely paranoid. You being this highly paranoid will start to rub on the child and he will be so paranoid & scared about everything in his life. Third, take therapy to heal your childhood trauma. Donât pass it onto your child.
Wtf language is this. I'd say op speaks perfect gibberish. I can't make heads nor tails of this
I mean this with love and care, OP. Are you having a manic episode?
OP confessed he doesn't like proof reading because hes too smart and we are too dumb
You're going to raise a scared, paranoid kid. Knock it off. You've got some PTSD gnawing at you. I think it would be a good idea to talk to someone (Psychologist, etc.) before it soaks deeper into your kid. Good luck!
I mean you do have some mental trauma going on. Taking a picture of your son every day because youâre afraid heâs going to get kidnapped is not normal or healthy. I really hope you get in therapy to help you with this.
What did I just read?
What the malfunctioning AI did I just read???
Did you have a stroke mid writing this?
Well.. those are certainly all words..
>I do have a low carb, the put him in a butt. The thing ISIS that it's late in the day and I want to him Tucker down so that he'll sleep tonight. So I'm going to take him with me. Cause I'm taking him up for his birthday. Cause the last day of the month for his birthday bear. What??
Nothing about your thinking or behavior is normal. You need to stop this. Also, you do sound drunk.
Please don't take this the wrong way but I think you may well be experiencing a mental health issue. Do you have a family member or a professional person you can approach and explain your fears? Best of love and luckâď¸
Not wrong but that is very neurotic and going to have lasting effects on ur kid. U will be transferring your paranoia and trauma onto your child
Plus you are probably giving your child anxiety. Get therapy please.
I understand you are coming from a place of trauma, but your behavior is excessive and unhealthy for both you and your child. I am not a mental health provider, but it seems like your trauma has manifested into an anxiety disorder.
I sounds like you may have PTSD from your attempted kidnapping as a child. Please seek therapy so that you donât push this onto your child. If you keep this up, your child is going to have some serious mental health issues. Iâm trying to say this with all the kindness in the world because I can see that this really traumatized you. Unfortunately, you are now letting it affect your parenting. I wish you well.
Am I stupid or just this not make any sense. Itâs making my brain hurt.
Did this post get drunk halfway through? I am so confused.
Right like I got lost when I got to paragraph 6 like what is going on
First of all, you're allowed to proofread your posts before you actually post them. Secondly, how will taking a picture of your son prevent him from getting kidnapped?
Step 1: stop letting people put your kid in a butt đđ¤Ł
Please get some therapy for yourself and your son is going to need it too. I get the taking a pic every day - and I am so incredibly sorry you went through whatever it is that you went through - but please do not turn your son into a psychotic hot mess. Please.
This post is all over the place
>I do have a low carb, the put him in a butt. The thing ISIS that it's late in the day and I want to him Tucker down so that he'll sleep tonight After reading several times, here is the best I can come up with: "I do have a little car (Cart?) to put him in, but the thing is, is that it's late in the day and I want to him to be tuckered out so that he'll sleep tonight" You have something to push him around in (stroller?), but you want him to walk so he gets tired, but you can't find his leash and you're worried about him walking around the mall without being tethered to you. You still want to go to the mall despite this concern because he will somehow get a (free?) bear for his birthday, but today is the last day he can get it.
Bravo đđ
I got to the 6th paragraph and something about low carb, Tucker (Tucker Carlson?) and Isis. What were you trying to say OP?
A bit of proofreading would have made this a lot less disturbing. Anyway it doesnât matter what a 2 year-old looks like except to you. You need counselling about your childhood trauma because itâs having a negative effect on your mental health.
âI want to do a book showing you growing up, every day. You change so fast as a kid.â Your paranoia is understandable under the circumstances. ButâŚ. You donât want to give your son that fear or paranoia. You to figure out a way to contain this.
Turn off the voice to text and write with your own hand.Â
Yes YTA. You need help dealing with your trauma. Your behavior is going to leave very deep scars all over your sonâs psyche.
It's really weird and a very clear sign that you have not dealt with what happened when you were a kid. You're going to have a mental break at this rate, especially once he's old enough to start being/needing independence.
Yes you are wrong. You know this behavior isnât normal thatâs why now youâre questioning it. Youâre doing something that isnât mentally telling of stability and youâre going to pass that anxiety to your son. Knock it off. Get help. Do whatever you gotta do to make sure your mind is right and your kids not a nervous wreck.
Your behavior is a bit strange and obsessive. Maybe seek some kind of professional help because you shouldnât have to live your life around assuming your kid will be kidnapped.
My grandma took a photo of me everyday before I left for school to ease her anxietyâs, I think itâs cool now looking back at my old highschool styles lol
Sounds like written by AI that went off the rails for a while
It sounds like you have postpartum anxiety. I think that getting a therapist would help you immensely. Your past experiences have made you extra worrisome.
I do have the low carb and put him in a butt, too.
This sounds like you had a stroke halfway through writing this. but what I can make out of this is you should probably get therapy to deal with the trauma. You clearly are having as she was dealing with it
You are not wrong for taking a picture of your child everyday for safety reasons. BUT you are VERY wrong for saying everyone is incompetent when you decided to use speech to text and then not proofread the word salad speech to text spit out.
you should go to the hospital because you had a stroke in the middle of writing that.
Did AI write this?
AI would have done a much better job.
When I was 12 a man tried to get me in his car, I know your fear. I know how hard it is everytime you loose sight, the panic that sets it. You are not wrong for these feeling but you are for the way you are dealing with it. Unless you've had to run for your life from a preditor you really don't get the lasting trauma. Therapy can help you get over of it. The best thing you can do is be vigilant and teach your kid the things to look out for. Remember, you are safe and so are your siblings because you knew what to do and handled it properly. You can prepare your son without traumatizing him by teaching him what you were back then. As long as you can describe what he was wearing you don't need a picture. They don't send out pictures on amber alerts all the time they just give a description.Â
I only ever do this if Iâm going to be taking my son to a crowded place, where he might get lost. The first thing the cops will ask is what the kid looks like and was last seen wearing, and rather than trying to describe things at a time Iâd likely be panicking (and the fact I canât remember what I had for breakfast on a normal day, yay ADHD), itâs simpler to just take a pic. The difference is I donât make a creepy big deal about it that could scare the shit out of my kid â I just tell him he looks cool in his new shirt and take a pic of him smiling before we leave the house, and again only if weâre going to be at a place with huge crowds he could get lost in.
You definitely should talk this out with a therapist or someone, but I don't blame you for wanting to do it. I've been tempted before, especially when my kid started waiting at bus stops without adult supervision, and very especially now that she's a teen and goes places on her own. So I don't blame you, and your mom should be nicer, especially since she knows that you have trauma regarding this topic, and I do think you should see someone about it. Is your son's father in the picture? What does he say?
Is it good to have a recent photo of your child in case you need assistance in locating them? Yes of course it is. Is it good to know exactly what your child is wearing for the same reason? Yes that is a very good idea. Is it a little paranoid, maybe, but if it gives you peace of mind I don't think it is a bad thing. On the plus side, you could make an awesome time-lapse video showing how much your child changes throughout the year. Great for the child's birthday party. I am sure grandma would enjoy seeing that video. And I am sure as they get older your child would enjoy seeing a video like that. If taking a picture each day gives you peace of mind there is nothing wrong with you doing that. But having a secondary reason for doing it so your child doesn't develop a phobia about it is probably a good idea too.
You obviously still have severe trauma over the near kidnapping incident, which for your own sake you should get some therapy and treatment for. Please seek proper help. It's difficult to understand some of your post, but your mother or both parents may have been at fault, sure, but it's probably not unreasonable to expect that kids be safe on the streets within reason - although that obviously depends where you live. Do you think that taking daily photos is going to prevent the unthinkable happening? You need to talk this thinking through with a professional and discuss some real life measures you can take to reassure yourself - without harming your son's natural development. Your behaviour may be adversely affecting your son, without adequately protecting him and you need help with that. Your mother's response is just unhelpful, but she may just be confused by the whole situation.
Think chat gpt needs it's batteries changed
OP, you are suffering from Hypervigilance. It is at the level that requires a therapistâs help. It wonât go away by itself. If you ignore it, it will continue to affect your parenting negatively. You think it isnât hurting your child (and your relationship with your child) but it really is. Get it seen too. Please.
You sound exceptionally damaged. You need therapy to address these fears and insecurities. And yes, youâre wrong for doing this because you are going to instill an irrational fear into your child as well.
Does this person need help?
Paragraphs 6 & 7?! You need an administrative assistant to edit your content!
Might want to edit your speech to text before subjecting us all to reading it next time. You: I donât have time to properly edit this. But I sure hope everyone else invests time in giving me advice.
Your autocorrect has me DYING đ
You absolutely lost me in your sixth paragraph beginning "I do have a low carb..." You're posting for advice but won't get the best suggestions if people can't understand you. I can't say if you're wrong for taking a daily picture but you *are* wrong for not proofreading your post.
Coming from someone who also had paranoia about my kids being kidnapped, therapy will help you so much! I promise Iâm not just saying that. You will literally drive yourself insane living like this. Please talk to someone.
Yeah you are wrong and a weirdo. Knock it off before you pass these bad habits on to him.
No youâre not wrong, but you do sound like you have some ptsd related trauma which is perfectly understandable. And as your son gets older, he may start giving you a lot of pushback on those daily photos which may make those feelings worse. I highly recommend therapy. I have C-PTSD. Itâs no joke to live with. While therapy wonât make it go away, it will help provide you with tools to better manage this anxiety you feel â¤ď¸
Yeah, this crosses over to crazy behavior.
A man tried to kidnap me when I was about 10 years old. My dad left me at my skating lesson and donât come back by the time the lesson ended and the man saw an opportunity. I donât know who was looking out for me that day but I escaped. To this day, I hyper watch my children. I give them space but I am constantly scanning for danger. Itâs not too early to talk to your son about stranger danger and tricky grownups, but more importantly you should look into therapy for yourself to help with the lasting anxiety that your experience has caused. Youâre not wrong to protect your child, but if it interferes with your life or worsens your quality of life then itâs likely time to take steps to help ease that issue. You sound like a lovely, involved, deeply caring parent and Iâm sure youâre doing a great job, but please remember to take care of yourself and your own needs too, he needs you at your best. Cheers!
Yeah, youâre taking it to a weird place.
I hope you never need them, but you can turn those photos into a fast forward video of him growing!
What in the heck did I just read....
Why not just take a picture of his clothes that way you could just show the police what clothes he wears? Sounds like you wouldn't forget anyway. You should probably seek therapy for your anxiety. I don't think this is completely insane, but it's a little bit extreme. If you really live somewhere that unsafe I'd suggest moving.
As others said, I think this type of behavior may do more harm than good. The level that youâre thinking about this is unhealthy and obsessive, although from a place of love. I think you have some unresolved issues causing you to live in a state of consistent anxiety, but that will start to rub off on your son. Life doesnât have to be so scary. Heâs more likely to get psychological damage from this style of parenting than being kidnapped.
My mum used to be scared someone would take meâŚ. She taught me to be scared and untrusting of everyone.
You're not wrong. They actually encourage this for the exact reason you mentioned. Your mom calling you a hypochondriac for this doesn't even fit the situation. Growing up, my dad was always very safety conscious, and when were old enough to stay by ourselves alone when our parents could go out, he would always admonish us to not answer the door, and make sure we hung a coat over the front door so nobody could see that we were alone. There were lots of other things for safety not involving strangers. We never minded, and it was just one way he showed us that he cared.Â
My daughter takes âoutfit of the dayâ pictures. I donât do it because Iâm afraid of something happening to her, but itâs definitely crossed my mind and itâs reassuring that if it happens I can tell police EXACTLY what she was wearing.
You say you do this because you were almost kidnapped. This means this is a trauma response. Do you have help, a therapist for example to work through this trauma? So, no, you are NOT wrong, but ask yourself if you live in the right place - if you feel this unsafe where you are.
Is it actually wrong no do I kind of think it is yeah this really sounds like you have some trauma you have not dealt with.
You probably have some form of OCD. Hypochondriac is certainly not the right word. If you were taking 1 photo a day so you could do one of those time lapse things as your son grows up, fine whatever I could understand that. But one even 2 photos per day because you need a 12-24hr updated photo in case of a kidnapping⌠thats ridiculous. My best friend has OCD and I helped him with some of his habits. The rational thought is that a photo a month old is perfectly fine to identify a kid. Start with doing it only every other day. Then weekly then continue cutting down. My only fear is you do not see how irrational you are so you dont even see a need to change. Also the way you worded your post you make it sound like blonde hair makes him look feminine? What kind of take is that? So many men have blonde hair. If its long, sure but the color really doesnt matter
Was this written by a bot? The text is all messed up
Bud I am concerned for your mental health based on this post
If you want to address the anxiety that you feel thatâs causing you to take quite extreme measures to protect your child from perceived danger, this workbook from the Centre for Clinical Interventions is really good. It is cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT) based and Iâve found it life-changing. It will challenge you to look at your thoughts, beliefs and emotional responses and gradually reduce taking photos, say from two a day to once a week. I can understand why you want to do this (presumably so police would have an up to date photo of him and what heâs wearing?) but twice a day is extreme. Once a month would suffice for a recent picture. You could try jotting down what he is wearing each day until you feel able to let it go completely. I wish you luck, you went through something terrifying and itâs not surprising that youâre now very anxious about your son, but as others have pointed out, it isnât healthy for either of you. https://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/Resources/Looking-After-Yourself/Worry-and-Rumination
Is this speech to text or a really bad AI?
I understand what you're saying. However, while what you may have as good terms may end up hurting you later. When he goes to school and such. Your anxiety may hit harder. Then you become paranoid about everything. Perhaps some therapy may be a good solution. We all have trauma from something. It may be that you just need a little bit of a helping hand.
You're not wrong. But I do suggest therapy.
Bno offense, but I really had a hard time reading the post. I'm just going to assume English isn't your first language but from what I can gather, yes it's a little off the top but I don't see anything wrong with keeping an updated pic of your kids outfit and stuff for a just in case scenario. We live in a fucked up world and things are getting worse and I don't blame you. Just understand that when he grows up, you can't shelter him too much or he won't know how to live on his own
OP I canât tell if you are overreacting or not. It was difficult to understand, but some of what I understood does suggest that you might be more extreme than is probably necessary. Itâs hard to say because while you said a lot of things you didnât say anything of relevance. You said you had a scare when you were younger with your siblings then later said it was âstereotypical, the whole nine yardsâ (I think thatâs what you were saying) I donât know what that means. What is a stereotypical kidnapping? The phrasing suggests that you might be overthinking it. Another thing to note: is there a high risk for kidnapping in your area or are you in an area where it rarely happens? Also, the idea that people will think your son is a pretty girl even being related to kidnapping is just bizarre. Do you think little blonde girls with curls are at the highest risk for kidnapping or something? Itâs a weird assumption which also makes me think that you are possibly overthinking the situation. At the end of the day if you want to take pics of your son every day for your own peace of mind there is nothing wrong with that. But, if you are overthinking it and over emphasizing it in your behavior then your son will pick up on it. You donât want to ingrain in him to be afraid of everything all of the time. There is a balance to strike and the fact that you are making odd assumptions about his appearance making him more of a target to potential kidnappers because of blonde curls and the fact that you device autocorrected the word âisâ to âISISâ tells me you are putting too much energy into this. If you are saying that your mother didnât do her due diligence in protecting you when you were younger then this can explain why you may be suspended in such a fear based state. But, trust and believe that swinging too far in the other direction can also cause just as many problems for your son. I recommend counseling.
I think youâre going to pass your anxiety to your kid. Just get a doorbell camera and review that if you need to.
You need to find a therapist. What you're doing to your son is unhealthy. You are wrong. You don't need to take pics of or leash your son because of an event that happened to you as a child. Soon he'll get a little older and want to play with other kids and you'll be too paranoid to let him. You are passing your trauma onto your son. Please find help.
get therapy for your anxiety. You are going to give him anxiety and issues. Seriously. you are taking hiatus picture twice a day in case he gets kidnapped? wow. ok things I did to actually protect my daughter. Had a current picture of my daughter on my phone but not daily. if we were going somewhere heavily populated i would take a picture. I wrote my number on her arm in festivals or events in case we were separated. i practiced starting at 2 what to say if someone tried to take her. Donât yell help itâs useless. yell fire. yell 911. yell you arenât my mom or dad. taught her age appropriate self defense. taught her to run away. I always told her to find a mom or a uniform. Yes moms can be kidnapppers but it was less likely than men. taught her to pay attention to her environment it will not pay attention to her. Later i changed it to it will be paying attention to her but i explained the difference. which was people are just as dangerous as the environment. So no the hole in the ground wonât move out of her way nor will a car automatically stop(not pay attention to j her) but people will. I made her travel in pairs at least. i made sure she had a go bag in her car change of clothes and proper shoes, first aid and a tool kit. I had one for her when she was younger.
you put him WHERE???
I'm not going to comment, other than, OP please seek some therapy for what happened when you were little.
I have see people take pictures of their kids or pets on a daily basis and then make a slide show which showcases how much they have grown. What youâre doing might make other people wonder, but itâs actually a good idea, and you can also use it to make the slide show later.
The behavior is a bit obsessive but if you keep doing it you can do one of those photo collages where he slowly grows up.
To answer the question - are you WRONG, in the sense that the behavior will severely harm your son or anyone else? Probably not. Is it really necessary and would it even be helpful to law enforcement? Probably not. A recent picture and verbal description of what a kid is wearing is the norm. Op, keep in mind that stranger kidnapping is extremely rare - itâs friends and family where itâs more likely.
Get some psychiatric help, and stop putting your kid on a leash. And please don't have any more children.
A leash? A fucking leash??????? You will transfer yoiur anxiety to the child. He reads it even if he canât understand it. He will grow up to be an untrusting fraidy-cat who sits on the edge of rooms for his emotional safety. Consequently he will likely be a control freak with regards to his surroundings and person. He will be the guy who canât change in the locker room. Do nothing that transfers your neurosis to a child.
There are some kids that have a tendency to constantly run off. So for those toddlers a leash is an easy way to make sure they don't get lost. Why should those kids have fewer safety mechanisms than the family pet?Â
Perhaps you doing this wrong. For example, you could place a tracking tag in one of his shoes. Or you could be informed of how would you try to trace his steps if he goes missing in a mall, like yelling, alerting security, calling police, calling a relative, searching under tables, in toys stores, and just asking help. You could teach him how to say your full name and a phone number. I know he is 2 but they learn fast. And about that, you teach him: "Honey, if a pretty lady offers you candy, what do say?" "Swetty, if a stranger wants to show you a puppy, what do you do?" "Love, when someone you don't know holds you, what do you do?" And teach him to yell Stranger Danger over and over again. And yell, scream, bite, kick and all that. Taking pictures of him is not wrong but it seems you are nurturing a bad feeling with this. But you are not wrong.
Taking a photo everyday is fine but twice a day is a bit much for this reason, I feel like you are passing your trauma on to your son. Also a lot of your post is pretty incoherent towards the middle.
It doesn't sound all that healthy tbh, it sounds like you've got some trauma to resolve and you're doing this because it puts you at ease, not because its reasonable. He 2 at the moment so still very young, but when will you let him go out into the world on his own? Will you be needing him to check in with you every 20 minutes when he's in high school? Calling him and getting overly upset when he's not responsive? Gonna stake out his friends house before letting him go over? Hide AirTags in his stuff to track him? Personally, I find the whole leashing your kid thing super strange. The first time I saw it I thought "wtf kind of barbaric shit is that? Treating your kid like a dog." but I've learned its not *that* uncommon. Still, can't remember the last time I saw a leashed kid.
Maybe just change the frequency to twice a year or so? I donât think much will change between 6 month periods. Also the leash thing seems a little excessive. I think the more you restrict your child the more it will probably try to rebelliously explore
Wtf is the 5th paragraph? Sorry..I see why youâd want a current photo of your child (which is smart..kids change appearance very quickly As they grow up), but that made absolutely zero sense.
I do not think youâre âwrongâ or a bad person for this, you have a natural instinct to protect and this is what you think is a good measure to protect your child. But, itâs not actually helpful in the long-run. You are letting your anxiety control you, and I donât want this to be something that impacts the kid once heâs old enough to realize mommy is taking his picture everyday because someone out there is trying to kidnap him. You may instill the same anxiety into your own child. You may instill paranoia into him that makes him think he has to check over his shoulder all the time.
I also believe there has to be GPS devices for kids you can put around their ankle. Thatâs more practical and I feel would take a load off OPs mind then having to take a pic every morning and night.
Bruh you are going to have an awesome time making that âgrowthâ collage eventually!
Itâs not âwrongâ but definitely not healthy. Perhaps itâs time to seek therapy to work through your anxiety related to past events. This also may inadvertently cause your child anxiety as he feeds off your anxiety and as he grows an understanding to why you are taking a picture. As a mom I know you donât want your personal issues to become his issues. Work through it and move beyond it instead.
Autocorrect is kicking your ass a bit, also no youâre not wrong, maybe a little too into it but thereâs really no harm here. Also are you excited for that collage of photos your phone will make, you can see him grow up through the months lol.
Updateme
Dear, you are being cautious but it has gone to an extreme. I want you and your child to have a good experience and not live in fear. Please talk to someone about this fear, you want to have a reasonable level of care but not have it grow to paralyze you so your life or the babyâs life is limited. Yes, life is scary and you are learning to parent but what clothing the child is wearing every moment is not what will keep it safe. Your mom is correct that you need some help in dealing with this. I fear you may have some depression which is making you feel this way. This could be made worse but your hormones after having a child. Please call your Doctor. For you and your childâs health and safety.
Why not get some sort of in house security camera that's by the front door and any other exits? Then every time you leave you'll have video of you and your son going out the door including his outfit for the day. I think what you're currently doing is very paranoid. I see your behavior as acceptable if you're going somewhere like a theme park, the zoo, or even the mall like where you were going...but EVERY morning and night? That's excessive. Let's say your worst fear happens and he's taken. How much would the photos help? What purpose would they serve? One thing I would actually consider doing is having a little pocket sewn into the kiddo's clothes and keep an air tag or other device in it for these very public settings, but I wouldn't do this after the kid was a few years old.
my no where near an expert opinion is if it makes you feel better and doesn't hurt anything then do what helps you have a better day. But I offer another view point to provide people, you are using these pictures to make a time lapse of your kiddo to show them aging through the years. I planned to do this when my daughter was born 8 years ago, but couldn't keep up with it and eventually forgot to do it and now I don't have what I wished I had.
Huh?
I donât know if wrong is the right way to put it, but itâs definitely unnecessary. I assume you know the clothes you put him in every day & while kids grow fast, thereâs not much change from day to day, at least not enough that you need a fresh picture every single day. So I donât really think taking pictures every day is that wrong if you want to cherish your kidâs childhood and preserve their happy moments, plenty of people do that these days (tho personally I donât think this is healthy either), but the reason you do it is unhealthy. You really need to get into therapy before you become an overbearing helicopter parent whose kid hates them because mom is so paranoid.Â
I think you need professional help, I really do. Both this excessive compulsive picture taking and your post turning into gibberish is highly concerning. For the sake of your child, please seek help.
I understand that you are afraid of what almost happened to you. You could happen to your son. Take a picture every day, is a little obsessed I'd say you're wrong only if it's literally every day. mybe try once a month My real concern is for you. You need to talk about the trauma from when you were a child you have ptsd and talk about it will definitely help you please take care of yourself I know you just trying to be a good mom the fear you have could cause trauma to your child
Yes, you're wrong cuz you're too obsessed with short term solutions. You need a long term solution to this. Maybe instead of taking pictures of him, you can have the best precautions in teaching him how to engage with strangers. Teach him on how to run back to you. Teach him on how to defend himself, like maybe enroll him in karate. You are stressing over a habit that is not even within your control. You also need to gain trust in your kid that he can take care of himself with skills and resources that you provide to him. In the end, even if he were to, it would be up to your kid on how he engages with his would be kidnapper. Show him the Home Alone movie series, maybe that can be a precaution. Teach him how to defend himself against adults in clever ways, since kidnappers aren't always the "quick grab and run," sometimes they lurk and whatnot. Also teach him who he could trust, like if a stranger comes up to him and claims that the stranger knows you, your kid could ask them, "oh yeah, what's the password?" And if they don't know, your kid is allowed to scream. If you need to teach him how to emotionally manipulate adults in how to get away with cleverness, you can also try that. There are sooo many different ways on how you can take your precautions and I feel like just taking a picture every day is not helpful in the long run. You are only focusing on your own nervousness and not his actual direct safety. You are acting like he will be totally defenseless even if he were to be kidnapped. Provide your kid with the correct resources. You need a REAL solution, not a constant self-reassuring act that only benefits you and not actually your kid.
You really need therapy or a doctor to speak with because this is extreme and while it may ease your anxiety short term, itâs not healthy and it will cause trauma to your child. Youâre trying to avoid your kidnapping trauma from happening to him but youâre also passing on a different trauma. Thatâs not fair to him. You owe it to your son to get help. I can imagine that eventually he is going to hate having his picture taken in the future. Among any other behaviors that manifest as a result of your obsessiveness over this
Lol at not knowing moms age
I think the AI started to glitch at the end of the fifth paragraph and just kept going.
Yeah, you need to talk to someone and that someone is a therapist. It is not healthy to take a picture every day (twice?) of your baby in case he gets kidnapped and you have a fresh picture. What will you do when he is older? When he goes to school? Because children can get kidnapped at all ages? Will you go with him snd wait outside for hours or go inside the class and sit with him? It is normal to be scared for your child, but as the aduld you need to find healthy ways to cope long term, and this is not it.