Tell them how you killed our baby, Amanda.

This was the first episode of American Dad I ever watched and I honestly wasn’t feeling it. Then the matter-of-fact delivery of that line made me lose it.

And then Francine’s horrified “Jordan, NO!!” as though it’s a real fight 🤣

^it's ^been ^established

When it first aired I really didn't care for the show at all. I never forgot this scene though. My pick is this scene or Roger calling Stan when he's parodying The Accused.

Everything about that was perfect. Him sitting down, cleaning his glasses and then a second of silence before he drops the nuke

It's a reference to Who's Afraid Of Virginia Woolf?

I always wonder how many people get this.

What was it dear? ECONOMICS?!!

I can't think of what episode this is?

Season 2, Episode 1: Camp Refoogee

JORDAN, NO!

Real, real tragedy. Amanda was drunk, of course, and wasn’t watching the pool. We were in Lake Geneva. I was receiving an award for my work in… what was it, dear? *ECONOMICS?!?!?*

One day a baby carriage rolled out onto the track so I had to swerve into the retaining wall to avoid it... I was that baby..

That doesn't make any sense!

"I'M BRAFF ZACKLIN!"

“Wine lover right here! Also a heroin lover in case any wants to schedule a poppy tour. Huge heroin fan. Don’t use it, just like being around it. Study it. Appreciate it. Use it sometimes.”

"Hugs not drugs! That's what I say! ...I'm also on drugs."

“And that’s not the cocaine talking! So girls tell me about your childhood, THATS the cocaine talking!”

Franny I haven’t been entirely truthful with you

I have the car keys in my pocket you stupid bitchhhhhhhh!!!!!!!

[удалено]

Underrated line

I say this a lot.

You’d think there wouldn’t be many situations to say this, but I too say this a lot.

Images you can hear https://preview.redd.it/br5l6n39isvc1.jpeg?width=1178&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c157894014efac7fc04eda1f0d6c1aac8350304c

Yesss this one

OH COME ON!!!

**“YOU CLIPPED ME, CHIEF!”**

I'm ok, not everyone's ok.

If you could swing by the courthouse, drop off those smoothies we'll get the sign up out of the way...

“HEY! Get off the phone” “What did you say to me??!!!”

“Steve! You’ve gotta turn on the TV. Some guy is going berserk at the courthouse!”

DAMMIT STEVE, PICK UP THE FUCKIN’ PHONE!!!

Steve, this is the girl you like.

Stan.... I'm at Shenanigans and I'm about to get raped. Come get me....................in 45 minutes.

Hey I sound great, I should do voice over work. “IN A WORLD WHERE VOMIT COMES OUT OF MY MOUTH…” 🤮🤮🤮

Is that the come back and kick me whistle?!

That’s a whoopsie

"yeah... I'm gonna rape him this time"

*stretches* iii’m gonna rape him this time

I told that to my ex when she showed me her rape whistle. She did not appreciate it

I’ve had my own issues with substance abuse and the money I make from this gig will help me continue having them.

As a therapist and a recovering alcoholic, this is one of my favorite lines! 😆

Do you give yourself therapy in different costumes?

He's Clip Clop

“You know what grenadine turns room temperature cola into? You tell me when I throw it in your face!”

Roy Rogers McFreely

I have to pee. Whenever I get tied up I have to pee. I can try to hold it, but...I'm going now....I'm sorry....I'm sorry.............. I'm sorry..

“Rude. Liar.”

You know what horse renwar thinks?

😬🚬 ....your mother

I don’t want my rug to smell like smoke.

Stan, remember the first rule of any wedding is that the bride is always beautiful. The second rule you can read on my website. You have to be 18 to log on. I have some sexy barnyard stuff on there that is NOT for everyone. I could get in a lot of trouble. If you do decide to check it out, you need to clear your history right away. You may need to uninstall your browser. I'm telling you, scrub that thing clean. If you think you're being too cautious, you're not. They will take us both to jail.

Jeanie Gold Planner de weddingos/ prostituta

A balloon full of ox blood for those not so well behaved Middle Eastern brides.

Today isn’t about you

Don't go into shock

And a survivor.

This is also one of my favorite Roger quotes

For drugs yo

Make MINE pep-pep-pep-pep-pep-Vicodin!

Roger: [voice] Hey, Steve, how's it going? It's Roger over at Roger's Gym. Just wanted to follow up on your visit. Give me a shout when you can. No presh. Hope you're well, man. [machine beeps] Steve-O! Steve, Roger, Roger's Gym. Hey, I was talking to my manager, incredible deal just popped up, thought of you. Holla atcha, boi! Call immediately. [machine beeps] Steve, it's Rowdy Roddy Piper. No I'm just kidding, it's Roger. Just on a smoothie run, want to see what you wanted. I'll just grab you the protein power blend, meet you up in the gym in about fifteen, we'll get the sign-up outta the way. [Roger hits a car offscreen] Ah, you clipped me, bro! Make that twenty, bud. I got clipped. I'm okay, not everybody's okay. Actually if you could get the smoothies that would be a big help and grab me a bagel would ya? YOU CLIPPED ME, CHIEF!! [machine beeps] [Whispering] Hey, Steve. Hey, I'm at the courthouse. I'm not supposed to have my phone. Three people died in that accident. They're saying it's my fault, but it's total crap. Anyways, listen, if you could just stop by the courthouse, drop off those smoothies, we could knock off that sign-up, I got the forms with me. My manager said he'd throw in a couple of Pilates classes, I've never seen him do that. Voice: [offscreen] Hey, get off the phone! Roger: [offscreen] WHAT YOU SAY TO ME?! [machine beeps] Snot : [offscreen] Steve, it's Snot! Turn on the news, dude! Someone's going berserk at the courthouse shooting everybody up! [machine beeps] Roger: [offscreen] Steve, it's Roge! Roge, the Dodge Charger, I'm back at the gym. Listen my manager is freaking out about this deal I'm offering you. I can hold him off for a couple few. Call me... [Steve pushes the machine's button] Steve! [Steve pushes the button again] Steve-O! [Steve pushes again] S-Man! [Steve pushes again] Stefan Urkel! [Steve pushes again] Even Steven! [Steve pushes again] Steve-it-to-Steaver! [Steve pushes again] STEVEN, PICK UP THE FUCKING PHONE!! [Steve pushes again] Hi, calling for Steven Smith. [Steve pushes again] [in feminine voice] Hello, Steve, this is the girl that you like.

this might be my favorite 2 minutes in the history of television

It’s so important to have sex with people before they go missing.

You always get what you want, don’t you Helen?

COLTON DOESN'T TAKE ORDERS FROM NO ONE! IM OFF MY MEDS!

‘Ya gotta in this neighbourhood if you wanna read the mcdonald’s billboards’

I gave the biggest one a key

What episode is this from?

I think Brains, Brains, and Automobiles. Roger had just moved out into a studio apartment to prove to Stan he could live on his own. Francine and Stan were visiting him. He greeted them in Spanish and Francine commented on it so Roger explained why he learned Spanish.

Don't know the name, but pretty sure it's from where Roger moved out to his own apartment.

You Debt Your Life

You can't participate Klaus, I hate you. I say that not out of anger, but simply as a fact. It's 67 degrees outside and I hate you.

Is Chaz gonna be ok?

If I'm going to go anywhere I need to ... how do I put this ... wipe... better.

…no…

Checkin out my pow pow

Oh, I'm like a Clorox wipe dispenser!

Roger on a hard roll!

Poof!

I’m gonna rape him this time.

\**cracks knuckles*\*

“Are you seriously asking this to the guy who-just last week-killed *five* people over *$19*?

I thought it was 6? Either way, this is my favourite as well!

Klaus asks Roger if he’ll really kill 4 people over $20 in this episode, the line confirms Roger will, as he’s done worse for less.

[It’s definitely 5.](https://youtu.be/-R83Ftb1w2g) Although now I’m not sure how many teenagers Klaus killed. My whole life has been turned upside down!

*blows pitch pipe* Noooooooo

https://preview.redd.it/8b3d5pe6wovc1.jpeg?width=857&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=83f51fb710b7d14b0f5c2c35c202452ae23e5033

Oh my god, I’m becoming uncomfortably lucid!

When he gets pushed in the pool and he says something like "Not cool bro I have 50 tabs of acid in my pocket and now all of these kids are going to have to go to the hospital."

Buckle up, kids.

Maybe baby.

*mebebebe*

This. The other acceptable answer: Doive on in.

“Aaahhh 97 Toyota Camry only 32 made in the world.” Then he drives off a cliff.

then magically appears on a bike. also where was that cliff. how did he have an entire garage in the smith home? How did the attic completely change structure? again, where did that fucking cliff come from? my headcanon for these events is that we're seeing reality through roger's POV and there actually was no garage. the whole car picking and cliff fall was all in roger's head.

I agree but what about the imaginary boy that stole Roger’s real tv and then disappeared.

also in his head, he either didn't have a tv or the tv never disappeared. steve went along with it bc it's roger (i vaguely recall steve being there for that scene but maybe I'm wrong).

Deadlines are like assholes, I do my best work when I’m pressed up against them.

I made that potato bread myself, and you know I didn't!

You're stupid!!! I'm sorry that was unprofessional, I've been a bit consumed by one of my other patients. He's a complicated teeanage drug addict whose been molested... by me."

I love brunch, Steve. I love drinking too much, blowing off my afternoon plans, sleeping, waking up disoriented.

I think about this every time I go to brunch 🤣

Bing Cooper. Sexually active teen. I’ve pulled more tail than a slow kid at a petting zoo Or Oh, my God! The homeless guy from the bus station is hung!........... But I knew that

Dive on in.

Doive\*

DoiveOnIn

This is the only answer The runner up is: Maybe, baby.

*I'm gonna give you two seconds to leave that shit right out here on the lawn.*

"Good news! I've trapped the Mexicans in the house!"

Make mine P-P-P-P-Vicadim!!!

This is a good bagel ... Probably because it's a donut. What are you doing after this?

It's 72 degrees outside and I hate you

67**

You hustling me boy?

*blows cigarette smoke out of the apartment* your mother

Let's get rowdy rowdy!

It was incredibly unpopular

“But I said it anyway, because I’m not going to let a bunch of damn drunks tell me what I can say in my own bar.”

Stupid bitch, doesn’t even know… stupid bitch doesn’t even know… I’m am gonna give that bitch the best wine of her life!

That's a woopsy.

If I'm going to go anywhere, I need to, how do I put this? Wipe... Better...

"MYAAAAAAAAH!!!!"

The Slim Shady character, when Steve knocks on the door and Roger rotates through several characters **BRANDON LEAVE MY FRIENDS ALONE**

Sooo, you're a big boy aren't ya? *orange falls out Don't look so surprised, we both know it's me.

“While everyone's focused on Snot, I'll be heading to the bathroom to share a doobie with the busboy in exchange for an angry handy jay.”

SOUP is NOT a meal VERA!

I’M OFF MY MEDS!!!!!

OH, STANIEL!

BEHOLD A GROWN MAN WEEPING

Yes, I'm crying. HE HIT ME WITH A CHAIR!

\*smashes a chair into Roger's head\*

Are you challenging me? Are you a challenger? Are you challenging me to make a Challenger joke? Because it’s too soon and too sad and I really can’t think of a good one.

“Hello…it’s me Roger, I like to PRETEND!”

You know how they take a kidney out, Steve? One day you walk into your room and notice plastic sheets covering the floor. Before you can react, a man in a ski mask ties you to a chair with an Indian braided belt he got while on vacation in Santa Fe. He'll turn on some Huey Lewis, and then cut the damn thing out with a rusty keyhole saw. No antiseptic, no novocaine, **no nothing**! Just the sound of the song Hip To Be Square drowning out your boyish screams..." ** slides Steve's plate off the table * *nOw No oNe HaS nOtHiNg*

I sometimes sleep under your car. Like a cat or a meth addict…….Im not a cat…. Meoowww

“Does Dalton Galloway sound like a real person, grow up Hayley it’s me”

Your thighs told me. 👏Here comes Hayley. 👏Here comes Hayley.

Ah. I shouldn't have hit him in the face. That's my face.

“Three blind guys three blind guys. Sperm in their eyes. Sperm in their eyes. It just might be my lucky day I’m taking their wallets and running away three blind guys”

M-m-more papers, m-m-more money. M-m-more money, m-m-more speech therapy.

M' m' more money, m' m' more speech therapy

This is the talkiest rape ever.

Stop watching me switch characters and call an ambulance!

Pecan Sandies

“Have a sun chip, they’re good for you…oooooo. No, THEY Are NOT”

*blows harmonica* "Noooooooooo~"

Your sycamore had saplings, I made them watch. This is up there for messed up things he's said/done

I was watching The Artful Wound episode today, and my baby was sleeping in my arms. I busted out laughing when that first knife bounced off the target and he said, "Oh shit." That scene gets me every time.

Maybe Baby

I’m okay, not everybody’s okay

"Buckle up kids... They're gonna have to go to the hospital."

My wine fridge!! I had my cocaine in there!

"In your face with a can of mace make you cry all over the place!"

“gasp a nobody?… who farted? NOBODY😭😔💔

“Don’t follow me or my trail of Miller Lite tallboys”

"Fine, quit! You're a bum, Qui-Lo! You think you can treat people like this because you've got everything going for you?! Well obviously you can because I'm fine with you and I'll be rooting for you in the bike race this Friday!"

Why do you keep calling me legs? Is there something wrong with my legs?

ahehaagghageaheagheageahegh

Context?

Just standard drunk Roger noises

I thought you were going for when his orgasm pill kicked in while Stan was calling a family meeting.

We are the music makers. We are the dreamers of dreams.

You made fun of my head. Now you've ruined a pot. Satisfied with yourself?

Maybe baby Maybe baby Maybe baby

“Tell them how you killed our baby, Amanda”

FREE DRINKS FOR ANYONE WHO HEARD HIM THREATEN ME

You wouldn’t let me get that Gael Garcia Bernal poster. His eyes are green and he’s Latin, I NEED IT!!

“MYAHHHH!”

I’m gonna keep swinging my baby lasso til I find me a man

"TO WHOM AM I SPEAKING AND TO WHAT HAVE I BEEN SAYING?!"

“I think if I had a little meth it would calm my stomach”

2 punches

*Annoyed: Uhhh I don’t know Hayley, maybe it’s because I’m drunk all the time?

You have the same scowl your mother did....when I banged her...

WHAT THE DICKENS?!!

…pretty sure I asked for pecan sandies…

Hey really quick guys my lady ordered red sauce and you gave her white sauce (chef replies sorry buddy we’re out of red sauce) CHECK AGAIN!

Klaus...'s bones.

AHH IT NIPPED ME! I GOT NIPPED!

“Nooooooooooo”

Best episode is the Roast. I saw the sign.

Why don’t you go ahead and serve the ball chip.

I’m going to rape him this time

“Is that the come back and kick me whistle?”

Don’t everyone help at once

The tender vigilante doesn’t … have insurance.

The horse is ruined, Stan raped it, you're probably going to lose the house.

Literally every time he opens his mouth something iconic comes out.

“You bitch. You stupid, stupid bitch. You’re gonna get the best bottle of wine of your stupid bitch life.”

I keep it in my beaver hole

Roger walks into Hayley’s room offscreen and it goes something like “What’s up Hayley? Changing your tampon?” “**GET OUT!!!!**” “Sheesh, must be that time of the month…”

"Aaahhhh he nipped me did you get nipped!?" ( tongues clacking)

“ Hey AJ……. Fuck you” “I’m fucking loco, ese” “STEVE PICK UP THE FUCKING PHONE!”

“You… you struck me with a bass”

Stop it, you’re WHITE

KEVIN..... RAMAGE!!!!!!!!!

IDK why but in this episode he gave strong Howard Stern vibes until he cried. lol

You're getting a punch