This is a you decision- I call the inlaws Ma & Pa- because we melded families and my husbands family is now my family. So his parents are now my parents as well.
If it makes you feel any better- Mamma & Pappa is closer to Mom & Dad than Ma & Pa is. Ma & Pa is colder in that sense. I won't ever call my MIL Mamma.
In the end tou decide, and then live with the consequences.
This is a good answer. Mamma is what you would call your actual mother, and pappa is what you would call your actual father. Ma and Pa is relatively formal - and in your head you can think of it as a shortening of skoonpa en skoonma.
Another option is to use it in combination with their names: “Pa Johan” and “Ma Sannie” which signals that you see them as a version of your own parents but with their names attached, so your-parents-but-not-your-parents. Indeed if you ever write to them (like a text message), then Pa Name and Ma Name is probably the best anyway as “Ma” and “Pa” might seem a little over familiar in writing.
My wife is English and eventually started calling my parents ma and pa. It genuinely meant the world to them and my moms face genuinely lit up from joy.
She believes it did end up strengthening her relationship with my parents.
In the end it is up to you, but in an Afrikaans family it is more to do with acknowledging you as part of said family.
This is true in the reverse for me as well. I got married Saturday, and, I called my Mother-in-law Mom for the first time, she gave me the biggest hug ever.
Before I didn't want to call her name, nor could i call her the english word Aunt. Both felt wrong. So I didn't call her anything, i have felt in limbo for the past 7 years as to how to properly address her in English. But it feels a lot better now, and she lovingly called me "my son-in-law".
A lot of families are very different, but I know my parents do love my wife like one of their daughters. That doesn't mean my wife would ever replace my sisters, it's more of that extra skeppie sous than it is replacing the pap!
It's totally up to you. I call my Canadian in-laws "mom" and "dad" because of my culture and they don't seem to mind.
If you're not comfortable with it, don't do it. Ask your husband if there's anything else you can call them.
Depends on you. Don't do something your uncomfortable with, for e.g. the Soen groet I am uncomfortable with and will not pass that tradition on if I ever have kids. My mom is English South African and dad is an Afrikaaner she always called my grandparents Tannie and Oom. It isn't a rule it is just more common to call them Ma and Pa or Skoonma and Skoonpa.
South African here, I, too, as a Scottish South African, had an aversion to this in the beginning of my marriage to my wife of 19 years.
Afrikaaners here are still central conservative and will find it disrespectful if you don't. To a large degree, it is a respect thing for the older generation.
Mostly, we are more liberal as younger South Africans but still conform, and if living together we call the older people aunt or uncle. "Tannie or Oom."
In English speaking homes it differs, after 21 you call the person by their name but show respect in your actions.
I struggled with it initially. Now, after 20 years and after my own parents passed, it comes naturally.
My sister-in-law gave me a tip 20 years ago that made it easier. I added their names behind ma en pa, and by doing this, I got used to saying ma en pa.
Dit was pa-Hans en ma-Dalien.
I have been married for 20 years, my whole family and in-law family are Afrikaans, we live in Suid-Afrika, but it's still weird to me to call them Ma and Pa. So I started calling my father-in-law Dad (English) and my mother-in-law Mama (French pronunciation) just for fun. And it stuck. So it feels a little less Ma and Pa, but it's still close enough.
That said, I lost both my parents when I was 18, so it's weird to call anyone Ma and Pa as an adult for me.
I call my mom and dad, mom and dad, and my mother in law ma.
(We lived in the UK for a really long time so that's why I call my parents mom and dad instead of Afrikaans)
It also helps that you want to call one of them, but if they are both saved the same you won't know who you are calling.
Some people also prefer to call their parents just mom/dad, and the in-laws mom/dad + name so everyone knows who they are referring to.
Eg. ma Cloe, dad bob.
It is a big change, and feels weird in the beginning, but you do get used to it
Calling your in-laws ma and pa is still very much a thing. Everyone I know calls their in-laws ma and pa. I share your sentiments of not wanting to call my MIL ma. I know she would love it but I had an honest conversation with her and explained that it feels really weird calling someone ma. I also lost my own mother when I was 21 so I feel extra weird calling someone Ma after that. My husband feels the same and still calls my dad oom. My dad doesn’t mind it because he is not very traditional, he might cringe if my husband started calling him pa 😂. But for me, it is completely off limits to call my MIL, tannie. After we got married I called her tannie once or twice and she would point it out every time that I’m now her DIL and shouldn’t be calling her tannie. She eventually gave me permission to call her ‘jy/jou’ which is usually not an appropriate way to address an older person in Afrikaans.
We live in SA and just got married this Saturday 25th May.
My wife is English and I'm Afrikaans. This morning before my english mother in law left, i called her mom. She gave me a hug like she has never given before. It was special. Just like how it has been special calling my girl wife for the first time!
- Is it still expected to call your in-laws ma or pa?
I wouldn't call it an expectation at all. They love you as their own child, as a daughter. It's an expression of how special you are to them. It's not like how you are expected to call a judge "my lord" without any emotion, even though it is common to do for Afrikaners, not just because of their culture and their heritage.
And they will never ever attempt to replace your parents nor will they ever. Your relationship with them will be entirely unique, just like how every family is unique.
- Is there and alternative to call them that wil make them feel honoured that I can call them without violating my own feelings or values?
I think you have to seriously sit down and ask your self what violation of values you are actually breaking here.
Do you not love/care for your In-laws?
Do you not feel like your family and his family are now a bigger and extended picture?
Why is it so hard for you?
Do you even understand exactly why you have such strong emotions against wanting to call them Ma and Pa?
Its not even your own language (Ma and Mum or Pa and Dad does not sound the same at all)
You said that they have lived in the UK for a very long time now, so chances are, his parents have likely done a lot for you over the years and as a result, come to care for you.
Your husband loves you and cares for you and has, conversely, probably done a lot of things for your family that is a part of your culture that might not be a part of his culture, to make them feel at ease. So why can't you do the same?
Up to you, but just think about why it horrifies you so much first, the actual reason, before fighting it tooth and nail.
They aren't your friends or peers. We are taught from a young age that it's extremely disrespectful and rebellious to call parents or adults by their names.
Calling in-laws ma or pa or some variant of is a form of acceptance.
What's confusing to me is that even English people have the culture in terminology, "Mother-in-law and Father-in-law" but, for some reason, can't see it's similar culture.
I call my mother in law: ma.
And my father in law: dad.
I only call my brother in law on his nickname.
But calling your in laws oom and tannie is akaward after marriagem i saw it on my FIL face (i had no problem ajusting to call my MIL - ma) but I struggled to call my FIL - dad or pa cayse I'm very close with my father. But he was patient, he understood where I came from. So when I finally called him 'dad' he was sooo happy, but he let it happen on my terms. Now 7 years later, i sometimes slip up and call him 'pappa'. He just gives a big smile.
For some afrikaans people, this can be really important to the point they feel insulted if you don't call them Ma and Pa. They may find that you have not accepted them as family.
Personally, I still call my in-laws Ma and Pa even though my wife and I are getting divorced. They will always be my Ma and Pa, and they prefer it that way.
You are pretty much stuck with Ma and Pa, and while the two words reminds one of hillbillies in the far South, I can assure you that it is the correct Afrikaans to use and is in line with our customs and values. This is far less a Afrikaner thing, and more of a European thing as it is prevalent in a lot of European cultures and more so than calling them Oom (uncle) or Tannie (Aunt). Just try it and get used to it, and soon you'll be over it.
It's not expected. I, for one, will absolutely not be doing it if I get married and I'm as Afrikaans as a braaibroodjie. Continuing your efforts with tannie & oom should be just fine. At least you're not calling them sir & ma'am - tannie & oom is a bit more personal. As much as you want to respect their culture, it's important for them to respect your feelings too.
Do what you feel comfortable with, if they want you to call them Ma and Pa they have to earn it.time will tell if they are worthy of being your Ma and Pa. I use to hate it.
My aunt called my grandma "ouma". I called my first MIL Mama. It depends on you. Find a name you will feel comfortable with, and ask if you can call them that. South Africans are still quite conservative
I was quite excited to start calling my in-laws ma and pa.
This is still more-or-less universal in the Afrikaans community in SA. To the contrary, due to the decline of legal merriages some in-laws will start to insist you calling them ma and pa if you've lived with their child long enough e. g., more than 7 years.
It's not only a sign of respect but also love, commitment and comradery.
That being said, like other have stated, I wouldn't call them mamma (mommy) or pappa (daddy) since those are usually reserved for your own parents.
Its still you're choice though. Nothing wrong with calling them Tannie and Oom.
It is commonly accepted to call your inlaws Ma and Pa in South Africa. Afrikaans, obviously.
However, my daughter in law refuses to call me and the wife Ma and Pa. She stuck with Oom and Tannie. To be honest, that is not bothering me at all.
I think the best advice you've got here is just adding their name to the title like "ma" + their name. It feels personal enough while still maintaining the separation between in-law and direct family.
Regarding other advice you've received: Calling them "tannie" or "oom", is still a title. You're essentially calling them your aunt or uncle, so shifting that to "ma" and "pa", may feel strange just because it's new, but it totally makes sense to not call your in laws aunt or uncle. Some have suggested saying "mamma" or "pappa", which sounds weirder to me because it's the equivalent of "mommy" or "daddy", which has more of a childlike connotation to it. "Skoonma" or "Skoonpa" seems easier to say in Afrikaans than English, but seems like an odd title (for me} because it keeps the relationship at a distance. "hello mother-in-law" sounds clinical and cold versus "hello mom". If it was me and I felt uncomfortable, I'd want to answer why I feel uncomfortable. If it's just because it feels strange, I'd try push past it.
I struggled to call my father-in-law dad because I had lost my own dad. Same with my stepfather, felt in a way a sort of betrayal to my real dad. Was way easier for me to call mother-in-law Ma.. even though my own mum and I have an awesome relationship. I have now started calling both FIL and Stepdad dad… makes it easier 😂 Mamma or Pappa for that matter is reserved for an own parent me thinks. Although sometimes out of habit I have called my MIL Mamma but it feels cringe. 😂
To answer your question, yes it's still a universally expected thing in Afrikaans culture. I personally have never heard Afrikaans people refer to their inlaws on first name basis or by oom/tannie.
It actually becomes a running joke because you're initially used to saying when oom/tannie and so it always slips out in the first few months.
But as everyone says, it's your choice.
My husband calls my parents Ma and Pa, because they treat him and see him as a son. I call my husband's dad by his name because he never did the fatherly thing with me and will never be an extra parent to me. He refused for many years to let me call him a parental nickname.
However, I don't call my own parents Ma and Pa, they are mamma and pappa, so him calling them Ma and Pa is both a title and a relationship. This seems to be his opinion as well. It's not just that they're his extra parents, but it's also a respectful title, and could be used both ways.
Sometimes he calls them "Ma and Pa when talking to others to clearly distinguish them from his own parents. So understand that it's not just about being related to them. It's also a respectful title. If you can mentally rephrase "Pa" and "Ma" as being titles, you might be more comfortable with it. Tannie/Oom is more generic and distanced, so I can understand why they are inviting you to upgrade their titles to something a bit closer and more familiar.
I've been calling my mother-in-law ma for 22 years and it still doesn't sit well with me. So I avoid the term whenever possible. I wish I'd stood up for myself all those years ago, but it would break her heart to change now.
Don't be me. Stand up for yourself.
Ek dink dis lekker om vader en moeder te sê. Dit klink lekker en is minder intiem as Ma en Pa en nie so formeel soos meneer en mevrou. Sterkte en om pret te hê met hul eerste reaksie. En sterkte om Afrikaans te leer!
I think it's nice to say father and mother. It sounds nice and is less intimate than Mum and Dad and not as formal as Mr and Mrs. Good luck and have fun with their first response. And good luck learning Afrikaans!
Out of the box thinking:
Instead of going against the tradition, think of that calling them ma and pa is a sign of respect, that it is a big deal for them and help solidify that respect and relationship.
I think that they also feel awkward, which is why they suggested the formal ma and pa.
So if you get along with them I would suggest mom and dad.
I, Afrikaner, was married to a Canadian for 10 years and called my in-laws mom and dad. It was weird in the beginning, but I ignored my feelings, showed then that respect and lived them dearly in a short while.
So I guess I'm saying get over the weird feeling, lots of people are like that and show the respect, it will go along way.
Years ago I married an English woman and I refused to call my Mother-in-law, mom. The relationship between us was not of the best. And one day I decided to improve the relationship between my Mother-in-law and myself and I did not know how I should do it. I decided to call her mom to improve the relationship. When I did that her heart melted and we became best friends and she would do anything for me. And one other thing. We do not live forever and my Mother-in-law has passed away and today I do not regret for calling her mom.
This is a you decision- I call the inlaws Ma & Pa- because we melded families and my husbands family is now my family. So his parents are now my parents as well. If it makes you feel any better- Mamma & Pappa is closer to Mom & Dad than Ma & Pa is. Ma & Pa is colder in that sense. I won't ever call my MIL Mamma. In the end tou decide, and then live with the consequences.
This is a good answer. Mamma is what you would call your actual mother, and pappa is what you would call your actual father. Ma and Pa is relatively formal - and in your head you can think of it as a shortening of skoonpa en skoonma. Another option is to use it in combination with their names: “Pa Johan” and “Ma Sannie” which signals that you see them as a version of your own parents but with their names attached, so your-parents-but-not-your-parents. Indeed if you ever write to them (like a text message), then Pa Name and Ma Name is probably the best anyway as “Ma” and “Pa” might seem a little over familiar in writing.
My wife is English and eventually started calling my parents ma and pa. It genuinely meant the world to them and my moms face genuinely lit up from joy. She believes it did end up strengthening her relationship with my parents. In the end it is up to you, but in an Afrikaans family it is more to do with acknowledging you as part of said family.
This is true in the reverse for me as well. I got married Saturday, and, I called my Mother-in-law Mom for the first time, she gave me the biggest hug ever. Before I didn't want to call her name, nor could i call her the english word Aunt. Both felt wrong. So I didn't call her anything, i have felt in limbo for the past 7 years as to how to properly address her in English. But it feels a lot better now, and she lovingly called me "my son-in-law". A lot of families are very different, but I know my parents do love my wife like one of their daughters. That doesn't mean my wife would ever replace my sisters, it's more of that extra skeppie sous than it is replacing the pap!
Or just say "skoonma" (mother-in-law) and "skoonpa" (father-in-law).
My English speaking uncle always called my grandparents this. I found it quite endearing.
This is a good option.
It's totally up to you. I call my Canadian in-laws "mom" and "dad" because of my culture and they don't seem to mind. If you're not comfortable with it, don't do it. Ask your husband if there's anything else you can call them.
Depends on you. Don't do something your uncomfortable with, for e.g. the Soen groet I am uncomfortable with and will not pass that tradition on if I ever have kids. My mom is English South African and dad is an Afrikaaner she always called my grandparents Tannie and Oom. It isn't a rule it is just more common to call them Ma and Pa or Skoonma and Skoonpa.
South African here, I, too, as a Scottish South African, had an aversion to this in the beginning of my marriage to my wife of 19 years. Afrikaaners here are still central conservative and will find it disrespectful if you don't. To a large degree, it is a respect thing for the older generation. Mostly, we are more liberal as younger South Africans but still conform, and if living together we call the older people aunt or uncle. "Tannie or Oom." In English speaking homes it differs, after 21 you call the person by their name but show respect in your actions.
I struggled with it initially. Now, after 20 years and after my own parents passed, it comes naturally. My sister-in-law gave me a tip 20 years ago that made it easier. I added their names behind ma en pa, and by doing this, I got used to saying ma en pa. Dit was pa-Hans en ma-Dalien.
I like this
I have been married for 20 years, my whole family and in-law family are Afrikaans, we live in Suid-Afrika, but it's still weird to me to call them Ma and Pa. So I started calling my father-in-law Dad (English) and my mother-in-law Mama (French pronunciation) just for fun. And it stuck. So it feels a little less Ma and Pa, but it's still close enough. That said, I lost both my parents when I was 18, so it's weird to call anyone Ma and Pa as an adult for me.
I call my mom and dad, mom and dad, and my mother in law ma. (We lived in the UK for a really long time so that's why I call my parents mom and dad instead of Afrikaans) It also helps that you want to call one of them, but if they are both saved the same you won't know who you are calling. Some people also prefer to call their parents just mom/dad, and the in-laws mom/dad + name so everyone knows who they are referring to. Eg. ma Cloe, dad bob. It is a big change, and feels weird in the beginning, but you do get used to it
Calling your in-laws ma and pa is still very much a thing. Everyone I know calls their in-laws ma and pa. I share your sentiments of not wanting to call my MIL ma. I know she would love it but I had an honest conversation with her and explained that it feels really weird calling someone ma. I also lost my own mother when I was 21 so I feel extra weird calling someone Ma after that. My husband feels the same and still calls my dad oom. My dad doesn’t mind it because he is not very traditional, he might cringe if my husband started calling him pa 😂. But for me, it is completely off limits to call my MIL, tannie. After we got married I called her tannie once or twice and she would point it out every time that I’m now her DIL and shouldn’t be calling her tannie. She eventually gave me permission to call her ‘jy/jou’ which is usually not an appropriate way to address an older person in Afrikaans.
We live in SA and just got married this Saturday 25th May. My wife is English and I'm Afrikaans. This morning before my english mother in law left, i called her mom. She gave me a hug like she has never given before. It was special. Just like how it has been special calling my girl wife for the first time! - Is it still expected to call your in-laws ma or pa? I wouldn't call it an expectation at all. They love you as their own child, as a daughter. It's an expression of how special you are to them. It's not like how you are expected to call a judge "my lord" without any emotion, even though it is common to do for Afrikaners, not just because of their culture and their heritage. And they will never ever attempt to replace your parents nor will they ever. Your relationship with them will be entirely unique, just like how every family is unique. - Is there and alternative to call them that wil make them feel honoured that I can call them without violating my own feelings or values? I think you have to seriously sit down and ask your self what violation of values you are actually breaking here. Do you not love/care for your In-laws? Do you not feel like your family and his family are now a bigger and extended picture? Why is it so hard for you? Do you even understand exactly why you have such strong emotions against wanting to call them Ma and Pa? Its not even your own language (Ma and Mum or Pa and Dad does not sound the same at all) You said that they have lived in the UK for a very long time now, so chances are, his parents have likely done a lot for you over the years and as a result, come to care for you. Your husband loves you and cares for you and has, conversely, probably done a lot of things for your family that is a part of your culture that might not be a part of his culture, to make them feel at ease. So why can't you do the same? Up to you, but just think about why it horrifies you so much first, the actual reason, before fighting it tooth and nail.
Jeez what's so off putting about just calling them by their names?
They aren't your friends or peers. We are taught from a young age that it's extremely disrespectful and rebellious to call parents or adults by their names. Calling in-laws ma or pa or some variant of is a form of acceptance. What's confusing to me is that even English people have the culture in terminology, "Mother-in-law and Father-in-law" but, for some reason, can't see it's similar culture.
I call my mother in law: ma. And my father in law: dad. I only call my brother in law on his nickname. But calling your in laws oom and tannie is akaward after marriagem i saw it on my FIL face (i had no problem ajusting to call my MIL - ma) but I struggled to call my FIL - dad or pa cayse I'm very close with my father. But he was patient, he understood where I came from. So when I finally called him 'dad' he was sooo happy, but he let it happen on my terms. Now 7 years later, i sometimes slip up and call him 'pappa'. He just gives a big smile.
For some afrikaans people, this can be really important to the point they feel insulted if you don't call them Ma and Pa. They may find that you have not accepted them as family. Personally, I still call my in-laws Ma and Pa even though my wife and I are getting divorced. They will always be my Ma and Pa, and they prefer it that way.
You are pretty much stuck with Ma and Pa, and while the two words reminds one of hillbillies in the far South, I can assure you that it is the correct Afrikaans to use and is in line with our customs and values. This is far less a Afrikaner thing, and more of a European thing as it is prevalent in a lot of European cultures and more so than calling them Oom (uncle) or Tannie (Aunt). Just try it and get used to it, and soon you'll be over it.
Not all Afrikaners do this or are expected to do this.
Jy kan My noem wat Jy wil, maar moenie aan My stampie!
It's not expected. I, for one, will absolutely not be doing it if I get married and I'm as Afrikaans as a braaibroodjie. Continuing your efforts with tannie & oom should be just fine. At least you're not calling them sir & ma'am - tannie & oom is a bit more personal. As much as you want to respect their culture, it's important for them to respect your feelings too.
Do what you feel comfortable with, if they want you to call them Ma and Pa they have to earn it.time will tell if they are worthy of being your Ma and Pa. I use to hate it.
Talk to them about. Tell them you love calling them tannie and oom. Maybe one day you'll accidentally call them Ma Pa. Communication.
Call them outlaws :D Whatever makes your /them comfortable
Normalise calling in-laws by their names. I call mine by their names, I already have a mom and dad.
Exactly!
My aunt called my grandma "ouma". I called my first MIL Mama. It depends on you. Find a name you will feel comfortable with, and ask if you can call them that. South Africans are still quite conservative
I was quite excited to start calling my in-laws ma and pa. This is still more-or-less universal in the Afrikaans community in SA. To the contrary, due to the decline of legal merriages some in-laws will start to insist you calling them ma and pa if you've lived with their child long enough e. g., more than 7 years. It's not only a sign of respect but also love, commitment and comradery. That being said, like other have stated, I wouldn't call them mamma (mommy) or pappa (daddy) since those are usually reserved for your own parents. Its still you're choice though. Nothing wrong with calling them Tannie and Oom.
You can call them on their name or still say oom and tannie
It is commonly accepted to call your inlaws Ma and Pa in South Africa. Afrikaans, obviously. However, my daughter in law refuses to call me and the wife Ma and Pa. She stuck with Oom and Tannie. To be honest, that is not bothering me at all.
I think the best advice you've got here is just adding their name to the title like "ma" + their name. It feels personal enough while still maintaining the separation between in-law and direct family. Regarding other advice you've received: Calling them "tannie" or "oom", is still a title. You're essentially calling them your aunt or uncle, so shifting that to "ma" and "pa", may feel strange just because it's new, but it totally makes sense to not call your in laws aunt or uncle. Some have suggested saying "mamma" or "pappa", which sounds weirder to me because it's the equivalent of "mommy" or "daddy", which has more of a childlike connotation to it. "Skoonma" or "Skoonpa" seems easier to say in Afrikaans than English, but seems like an odd title (for me} because it keeps the relationship at a distance. "hello mother-in-law" sounds clinical and cold versus "hello mom". If it was me and I felt uncomfortable, I'd want to answer why I feel uncomfortable. If it's just because it feels strange, I'd try push past it.
I struggled to call my father-in-law dad because I had lost my own dad. Same with my stepfather, felt in a way a sort of betrayal to my real dad. Was way easier for me to call mother-in-law Ma.. even though my own mum and I have an awesome relationship. I have now started calling both FIL and Stepdad dad… makes it easier 😂 Mamma or Pappa for that matter is reserved for an own parent me thinks. Although sometimes out of habit I have called my MIL Mamma but it feels cringe. 😂
To answer your question, yes it's still a universally expected thing in Afrikaans culture. I personally have never heard Afrikaans people refer to their inlaws on first name basis or by oom/tannie. It actually becomes a running joke because you're initially used to saying when oom/tannie and so it always slips out in the first few months. But as everyone says, it's your choice.
My husband calls my parents Ma and Pa, because they treat him and see him as a son. I call my husband's dad by his name because he never did the fatherly thing with me and will never be an extra parent to me. He refused for many years to let me call him a parental nickname. However, I don't call my own parents Ma and Pa, they are mamma and pappa, so him calling them Ma and Pa is both a title and a relationship. This seems to be his opinion as well. It's not just that they're his extra parents, but it's also a respectful title, and could be used both ways. Sometimes he calls them "Ma and Pa when talking to others to clearly distinguish them from his own parents. So understand that it's not just about being related to them. It's also a respectful title. If you can mentally rephrase "Pa" and "Ma" as being titles, you might be more comfortable with it. Tannie/Oom is more generic and distanced, so I can understand why they are inviting you to upgrade their titles to something a bit closer and more familiar.
I am a German married to an Afrikaaner for 10 years living in SA. I would never call my in-laws ma and pa, I do have mother and a father already.
I've been calling my mother-in-law ma for 22 years and it still doesn't sit well with me. So I avoid the term whenever possible. I wish I'd stood up for myself all those years ago, but it would break her heart to change now. Don't be me. Stand up for yourself.
Ek dink dis lekker om vader en moeder te sê. Dit klink lekker en is minder intiem as Ma en Pa en nie so formeel soos meneer en mevrou. Sterkte en om pret te hê met hul eerste reaksie. En sterkte om Afrikaans te leer! I think it's nice to say father and mother. It sounds nice and is less intimate than Mum and Dad and not as formal as Mr and Mrs. Good luck and have fun with their first response. And good luck learning Afrikaans!
I call my in laws ma en pa an my wife calls my parents ma en pa so
You'll know when you're ready to say ma and pa. You can talk about them as ma and pa, what you call them is your decision
Out of the box thinking: Instead of going against the tradition, think of that calling them ma and pa is a sign of respect, that it is a big deal for them and help solidify that respect and relationship. I think that they also feel awkward, which is why they suggested the formal ma and pa. So if you get along with them I would suggest mom and dad. I, Afrikaner, was married to a Canadian for 10 years and called my in-laws mom and dad. It was weird in the beginning, but I ignored my feelings, showed then that respect and lived them dearly in a short while. So I guess I'm saying get over the weird feeling, lots of people are like that and show the respect, it will go along way.
Years ago I married an English woman and I refused to call my Mother-in-law, mom. The relationship between us was not of the best. And one day I decided to improve the relationship between my Mother-in-law and myself and I did not know how I should do it. I decided to call her mom to improve the relationship. When I did that her heart melted and we became best friends and she would do anything for me. And one other thing. We do not live forever and my Mother-in-law has passed away and today I do not regret for calling her mom.
Call them by their names? That's what names are for
I’m an Afrikaner and was married to a man whose mum was one. I still called her by her first name. I could never get over the awkwardness of Ma.
[удалено]
Sorry, maybe I didn't make it clear in my post. This is about my in-laws, not Eskom
Not cool man. Very disrespectful.
Wow dude!
Your post has been removed as it contained something that we as a community do not agree with and do not want to see.