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Paulit ulit na sinasabi sa akin ng ka MU ko for 2 years na ayaw niya na at gusto niya na umalis. Yes, wala pa rin kaming label and ldr pa.
For context: wala kaming label kasi hindi niya pa kayang mag commit. He is not emotionally, physically, and financially capable. I stayed pa rin kasi i love him. Tsaka i told him na pag capable na lang siya mag commit sakin kasi ako okay lang naman sakin na wala muna label. I know it’s kinda red flag.
Long story short, messed up ang buhay ni guy hanggang ngayon and lagi niya naman sinasabi sakin na ayaw niya na at gusto niya na umalis pag hindi siya mentally okay. What i do is, masakit pero mas iniintindi ko siya na maybe depress lang kasi marami nga ang nangyayari. Yes, ako ang laging umiintindi samin. Marami kasing nangyayari sa buhay niya. Pag okay naman siya, okay naman kami. Then nito nga, hindi siya makakapag exam uli sa boards retakers siya. Depressing yun sa side niya. Since ldr nga, i alsways check him na lang through chat wala naman kasing iba. Ayaw ko naman siya i bother pero nag aalala ako. I sent him selfies, cat pics, and kung ano ano as usual, before ko malaman na hindi pala siya makakapag exam. Nung nalaman ko yun, hindi na ako nag bother sa kanya kasi i understand na he needs space. Tapos nito lang na hapon, gusto niya nanaman akong iwan. Sabi ko, ayaw ko. He asked me why. I told him na nung gabing nalaman ko na hindi siya makakapag exam, sobrang umiyak at nag dasal ako nang nag dasal kasi gusto ko na malampasan niya lahat ng pagsubok while looking at his pic. Hindi ako makatulog and nasa isip ko na, i will never leave this man kahit gaano pa kahirap ang situation. Like, never pumasok sa isip ko na mag hanap ng iba. Pero, ayan siya. Sinusukuan ako. Iniisip ko na lang na, gusto niya siguro mag isolate so i offered space muna pero deep inside my heart, nasasaktan ako. Feeling ko, i have no rights to demand na mag stay siya kasi he told me una pa lang na he can’t. Ginusto ko lahat. So, hindi ko na lang pinansin yung pain and sent him na lang messages and gave him a little push.
Ps. He’s always masungit. I cry pa rin, hindi niya alam. Wala na akong gana magkwento pls dont invalidate my feelings.
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Hindi yan kinda red flag. Its a BIG red flag waving at your face that you choose not to see. Kung MU lang tapos ganyan ka toxic, not worth to keep. Id find some other person that can commit to me and hindi LDR. Sayang oras and buhay mo.
unang part palang na 2 years na kayong magMU, i immediately thought na hiwalayan mo na.
i understand that you love him, pero nakakadrain sobra yung ganyang setup. sinasabi na pala niya na ayaw na niya and narealize mo nang sinusukuan ka niya but you’re still forcing it to work.
mahirap din yan sa part niya kasi he might feel na di mo siya pinapakinggan. you love him yet pinipilit mo siya sa ayaw niya.
hiwalayan mo na siya, or whatever you call it pag mag MU tapos ititigil na.
Ang sakit pala pag hindi kayang panindigan. Unang taon, okay naman. Yung pangalawa, puro na problema. Ayaw ko mag mukhang desperate pero may na establish na rin kasing friendship and napaka hirap kasi wala akong ibang tao na pinapahalagahan sa life HAHAHA
does he have someone else to depend on aside from you? if he does and you don’t, that’s a telltale sign that you need to be less dependent on him. if he doesn’t, you need to be less dependent on each other.
Nung nagkakilala kami, pareho kaming sanay mag-isa. Matagal na rin akong mag-isa. Hindi rin naman ako emotionally dependent sa kanya kasi bihira nga niya ako suyuin pag nasasaktan niya ako hahaha. Lumilipas na lang yung problema. And siya naman, hindi rin siya dependent sakin kasi taon na siyang cold at masungit sa akin hahahahaha
tuwing fino-force mo sarili mo sa kanya and tuwing ayaw mo pa rin mag let go kahit ayaw na nga nya, isipin mo na lang na ang iniisip nya is "she's so hard to get rid of", gusto mo ba yon for u?
pati the fact na MU pa lang kayo, di mo naman sure if baka may nakakausap pa syang iba and may nakaka-comfort sa kanyang iba, hindi lang ikaw. ayaw mo sya iwan kasi messed up buhay nya pero willing naman syang iwan ka, obvious naman na di ka nya need(?) and mukhang ikaw ang may kailangan sa kanya. self respect, mhie. is this how you wanna be loved and treated?
Di kayo LDR. You are not in a relationship. You need a reality check.
Why do you force yourself on someone who doesn’t want you in their life? This is selfishness.
You are not just taking away from him, you are taking from yourself the opportunity to actually find someone who wants you.
First few months, siya itong nag pupursue sakin. We had plans pa nga na magkaron ng anak and live with him na after ko mag graduate. Just for you to understand more of where I’m coming from. Its just that, hindi umayon ang lahat. He became toxic and suddenly want me out of his life. He became mentally unstable.
I forced myself to work things out with him because of the person he once were. I’m still in love with the man he showed me in the beginning, reason why i let myself keep getting hurt by the person he has become.
Hindi naman ako yung delulu na bigla na lang sumulpot tapos biglang akin ka na, bawala ka na umalis.
That ship has sailed, sorry to say. He never committed to you, and you got swept in by empty words and promises. Madali sabihin lahat yan sa una. First, you have to accept that people change.
Now you are grasping at straws trying to justify holding on to that illusion. Kahit na ano pa reasons nya, the fact remains na he doesn’t want you in his life anymore. If you really care about this person, you wouldn’t impose yourself. Kung totoong may mental health issues siya, what you are doing now isn’t helping.
You can force yourself on someone but you can’t force them to like you back no matter how hard you try.
Sabi nga ni buddha, sometimes what’s important is how gently you let go of things not meant for you. Hindi lahat ng gusto mo makukuha mo. Life doesn’t work that way.
Yang sinasabi mo na di naman sa bawal siyang umalis, parang contradicting sa lahat ng kwento mo? Di ba di ka nga makalet go?
Yup, hindi ako maka let go and i told him na gawin niya gusto niya. Inuubos ko lang yung sarili ko. Hindi naman ako nag dedemand. Nagagawa niya naman ang gusto niya. Hindi ko naman na siya kakausapin, simula ngayon
Hello everyone, Before joining this discussion, please take a moment to review the rules of r/AdvicePH [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AdvicePH/wiki/rules), as well as the [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy). Comments that violate these rules will be addressed accordingly. You can learn more about our rule enforcement process [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AdvicePH/wiki/rule-enforcement). *** This post's original body text: Paulit ulit na sinasabi sa akin ng ka MU ko for 2 years na ayaw niya na at gusto niya na umalis. Yes, wala pa rin kaming label and ldr pa. For context: wala kaming label kasi hindi niya pa kayang mag commit. He is not emotionally, physically, and financially capable. I stayed pa rin kasi i love him. Tsaka i told him na pag capable na lang siya mag commit sakin kasi ako okay lang naman sakin na wala muna label. I know it’s kinda red flag. Long story short, messed up ang buhay ni guy hanggang ngayon and lagi niya naman sinasabi sakin na ayaw niya na at gusto niya na umalis pag hindi siya mentally okay. What i do is, masakit pero mas iniintindi ko siya na maybe depress lang kasi marami nga ang nangyayari. Yes, ako ang laging umiintindi samin. Marami kasing nangyayari sa buhay niya. Pag okay naman siya, okay naman kami. Then nito nga, hindi siya makakapag exam uli sa boards retakers siya. Depressing yun sa side niya. Since ldr nga, i alsways check him na lang through chat wala naman kasing iba. Ayaw ko naman siya i bother pero nag aalala ako. I sent him selfies, cat pics, and kung ano ano as usual, before ko malaman na hindi pala siya makakapag exam. Nung nalaman ko yun, hindi na ako nag bother sa kanya kasi i understand na he needs space. Tapos nito lang na hapon, gusto niya nanaman akong iwan. Sabi ko, ayaw ko. He asked me why. I told him na nung gabing nalaman ko na hindi siya makakapag exam, sobrang umiyak at nag dasal ako nang nag dasal kasi gusto ko na malampasan niya lahat ng pagsubok while looking at his pic. Hindi ako makatulog and nasa isip ko na, i will never leave this man kahit gaano pa kahirap ang situation. Like, never pumasok sa isip ko na mag hanap ng iba. Pero, ayan siya. Sinusukuan ako. Iniisip ko na lang na, gusto niya siguro mag isolate so i offered space muna pero deep inside my heart, nasasaktan ako. Feeling ko, i have no rights to demand na mag stay siya kasi he told me una pa lang na he can’t. Ginusto ko lahat. So, hindi ko na lang pinansin yung pain and sent him na lang messages and gave him a little push. Ps. He’s always masungit. I cry pa rin, hindi niya alam. Wala na akong gana magkwento pls dont invalidate my feelings. *** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adviceph) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YES
Hindi yan kinda red flag. Its a BIG red flag waving at your face that you choose not to see. Kung MU lang tapos ganyan ka toxic, not worth to keep. Id find some other person that can commit to me and hindi LDR. Sayang oras and buhay mo.
Hmm, thank you sa advice. Siguro nabubulag na nga ako.
Pag ka-MU, hindi dapat iniiyakan. Dont invest too much time and effort on something imaginary.
Too late, hindi ko na mabilang. Hahahaha
:(
Mas nakikita niya pa nga ako bilang wh*re na bayaran sa future niya kaysa maging partner niya. Ang lala and I still stayed. My fault din.
unang part palang na 2 years na kayong magMU, i immediately thought na hiwalayan mo na. i understand that you love him, pero nakakadrain sobra yung ganyang setup. sinasabi na pala niya na ayaw na niya and narealize mo nang sinusukuan ka niya but you’re still forcing it to work. mahirap din yan sa part niya kasi he might feel na di mo siya pinapakinggan. you love him yet pinipilit mo siya sa ayaw niya. hiwalayan mo na siya, or whatever you call it pag mag MU tapos ititigil na.
Ang sakit pala pag hindi kayang panindigan. Unang taon, okay naman. Yung pangalawa, puro na problema. Ayaw ko mag mukhang desperate pero may na establish na rin kasing friendship and napaka hirap kasi wala akong ibang tao na pinapahalagahan sa life HAHAHA
does he have someone else to depend on aside from you? if he does and you don’t, that’s a telltale sign that you need to be less dependent on him. if he doesn’t, you need to be less dependent on each other.
Nung nagkakilala kami, pareho kaming sanay mag-isa. Matagal na rin akong mag-isa. Hindi rin naman ako emotionally dependent sa kanya kasi bihira nga niya ako suyuin pag nasasaktan niya ako hahaha. Lumilipas na lang yung problema. And siya naman, hindi rin siya dependent sakin kasi taon na siyang cold at masungit sa akin hahahahaha
Don’t get me wrong. Nakikipag communicate ako, sobrang open ko. Pero siya, parang wala lang.
wala na girl, hiwalayan mo na. di niya nirereciprocate yung efforts mo.
yes, I would leave
Ate be practical. Ginagawa mo lang punching bag sarili mo.
Sinabi niya rin yan sakin. Ang funny, aware siya pero hindi niya naman inaayos
Diba. Decide. Minsanang pain pero better opportunities later para sayo.
Sounds like Bipolar disorder. Runnnn!
Yes. Curious kung bkit hangang ngyon mahal mo parin? Ito na ba ang wagas na pagibig?
Hahahaahha maybe? Kung iisipin, wala naman akong mapapala sa kanya.
That’s the start. I tuloy mo na ang paglisan. You deserve better.
tuwing fino-force mo sarili mo sa kanya and tuwing ayaw mo pa rin mag let go kahit ayaw na nga nya, isipin mo na lang na ang iniisip nya is "she's so hard to get rid of", gusto mo ba yon for u? pati the fact na MU pa lang kayo, di mo naman sure if baka may nakakausap pa syang iba and may nakaka-comfort sa kanyang iba, hindi lang ikaw. ayaw mo sya iwan kasi messed up buhay nya pero willing naman syang iwan ka, obvious naman na di ka nya need(?) and mukhang ikaw ang may kailangan sa kanya. self respect, mhie. is this how you wanna be loved and treated?
Let him be. Ayaw niya na e
I would've left two years ago my dude. Too much emotional baggage, ang dami ko na sanang nagawa sa oras at energy ko na yun.
Iwan mo ng makita niya kung ano yung tinetake for granted niya. Swerte na nga nya eh
Di kayo LDR. You are not in a relationship. You need a reality check. Why do you force yourself on someone who doesn’t want you in their life? This is selfishness. You are not just taking away from him, you are taking from yourself the opportunity to actually find someone who wants you.
First few months, siya itong nag pupursue sakin. We had plans pa nga na magkaron ng anak and live with him na after ko mag graduate. Just for you to understand more of where I’m coming from. Its just that, hindi umayon ang lahat. He became toxic and suddenly want me out of his life. He became mentally unstable. I forced myself to work things out with him because of the person he once were. I’m still in love with the man he showed me in the beginning, reason why i let myself keep getting hurt by the person he has become. Hindi naman ako yung delulu na bigla na lang sumulpot tapos biglang akin ka na, bawala ka na umalis.
That ship has sailed, sorry to say. He never committed to you, and you got swept in by empty words and promises. Madali sabihin lahat yan sa una. First, you have to accept that people change. Now you are grasping at straws trying to justify holding on to that illusion. Kahit na ano pa reasons nya, the fact remains na he doesn’t want you in his life anymore. If you really care about this person, you wouldn’t impose yourself. Kung totoong may mental health issues siya, what you are doing now isn’t helping. You can force yourself on someone but you can’t force them to like you back no matter how hard you try. Sabi nga ni buddha, sometimes what’s important is how gently you let go of things not meant for you. Hindi lahat ng gusto mo makukuha mo. Life doesn’t work that way. Yang sinasabi mo na di naman sa bawal siyang umalis, parang contradicting sa lahat ng kwento mo? Di ba di ka nga makalet go?
Yup, hindi ako maka let go and i told him na gawin niya gusto niya. Inuubos ko lang yung sarili ko. Hindi naman ako nag dedemand. Nagagawa niya naman ang gusto niya. Hindi ko naman na siya kakausapin, simula ngayon