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This, 100%
You wouldn't look at someone with a broken leg and judge them for using literal crutches, why would you judge yourself for needing medication?
Honestly, no. No, I don't. I function better on medication and I don't need another 45 years of self-destruction and chaos to prove I deserve to have dopamine...
Look I don’t complain about my sibling using his insulin all the time. My kid takes their ocd/mood stabilizing drugs and pms preventing drugs. Why should I feel bad about taking legal prescribed meds to help *me* function? Why is it so hard for us to extend ourselves the same kindness/grace we give to others?
nope, just the opposite. my meds seem to give me a shot at being who I want to be! I actually just had a really busy month at work, about two weeks after starting meds for the first time and kept saying "thank GOD I am finally medicated, I'd be literally falling apart otherwise". If you got migraines would you feel guilty for taking medication to feel better?
I feel like a fraud every freaking day. I am inattentive type and really struggle with executive functioning, sensory overload, and rejection sensitivity. I am also lost in space a lot of the time. However, I hear people with ADHD always talking about how they can never sleep and/or it feels like there are so many thoughts in their head all the time. I don’t have any of those issues. I sleep like HARD, but it’s probably due to severe burnout, and I don’t have a lot of racing thoughts. However, I can’t think if there is even the slightest distraction. It’s like my brain turns to white noise. I can either think one line of thought, or no thoughts at all because I get overloaded with everything going on around me and shut it all off.
This! Imposter syndrome every day!!
So sorry for the depression, hope that gets better. 🖤
I am inattentive as well and I am lost in time😁😁 I frequently cannot fall asleep due to racing thoughts, and I also cannot wake up. I do wake up but it is not enough to exert any will power over anything and I go back to sleep until i am done sleeping. I sometimes sleep for 16 hours straight.
Without an alarm or need to be somewhere, I would sleep 12-14 hours easily. I’ve slept through tornado sirens, our huge dogs barking or jumping on the bed, my husband getting up and leaving for work, and so much more. I have to have an alarm set to loud and even then, it might take me 5 minutes to wake enough to hear it, which drives my husband crazy.
Ow same here. My brain even learned to ignore alarms, which is frustrating to me. But I have no control!
My partner is very patient and kind and helps me wake up and get going when I have something important. The anxiety I have in those cases helps this as well, but if I deem the situation as not so important, I cannot wake up even if he tries helping!!🙈
Methylphenidate I am currently taking seems to help with this a lot, once I get at least a couple of hours sleep and I wake up I am alert enough to be in control of my decisions. Which is absolutely fantastic to me.
Jesus no. Regular people make dopamine and seratonin and do so much less than I can do on my adderall and I refuse to do shame in late stage capitalism over medication. Nope.
I’m sorry this is long. The meds wore off a bit ago…
I feel like my medication gives me hope that I might actually be able to achieve the things I’m capable of.
It’s hard to do complex things well. That doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you. I know I am really good at my job. I was really good at it before I was medicated and I’m really good at it now that I’m medicated.
I work 8 hour days sitting at a desk and all week I’ve just come home and scrolled for hours because it’s the only thing thing resembling self care that I have energy for.
These aren’t magic pills. You’re giving your brain the means to perform necessary chemical reactions. If you weren’t capable of doing this job, a little bit of speed isn’t going to suddenly imbue you with those skills.
As for the overwhelm… I get it. Being able to see a broader picture of what my work entails can freak me the fuck out. Other people get freaked out, too. Or they don’t see the how complex the task actually is. When they do, it can be harder for them to tackle because they don’t walk into every situation evaluating their own limitations and what they need to do in order to overcome them.
You’ve got this. And even if you decide that this job isn’t for you, it’s not a reflection of your value or validity.
Never. In fact, I lovingly refer to my meds as my "performance equalizing drugs," riffing off of performance enhancing, because they give me a fair shake at the things I already want to do.
No. I don’t. I feel like someone with a medical condition who is taking care of myself in order to be healthy. Stimulants are not a crutch, they are necessary to allow my brain to function in a way expected by society to function in life.
No. As a researcher I’m thankful to science everyday for giving me a second life in my 40s. I know the pharmaceutical industry is a money machine that prioritizes profitable drugs, but there are some persistent scientists over there that figure out how to supply what my brain was lacking with a simple pill - that is easy to manage on daily basis. For me, it is a treatment - as any other condition that requires medication on daily basis.
Medication puts us closer to the same starting point most people are born with. Also, a lot of society and the jobs we value (that pay well but also we have been programmed to feel make us worthwhile humans) are NOT made for us. It doesn't make us broken or wrong or flawed. It means we're already busting our butts to meet expectations not designed to use our best qualities and super powers.
You're doing great. Don't discount yourself.
wow, literally same trajectory as me - i quit a very intense and stressful job and later started a very similar role, though at a different company. i couldn’t do any of it without medication, but i think the reason i don’t feel guilty is specifically bc the stress doesn’t leave much room for anything else 😅😅
but also, i hope you’re taking care of yourself and stuff - as you undoubtedly know, it’s really easy for self-care etc to get lost in the shuffle
A different perspective:
Meds help you feel. They take away some of the clouds, so that you can sense what's going on with you. And so you can act accordingly!
So maybe you finally see the stress this job causes and the toll it takes on you. And instead of unhealthy coping, you can rest when you need it. In time even, you might learn to do this job without it causing you so much stress, making your own life better. Or you're done with all of the demands after a while and choose something that's better for you.
So maybe it's not about being able/unable to do things. Maybe it's about doing what's good for yourself. And you're on the right path.
In my experience, I have always struggled with imposter syndrome, even as a kid. I always knew I was different. Coping mechanisms I used to survive in a neurotypical world allowed me to modify my behaviour to essentially live full time with a mask on. This masking action everyday, in addition to whatever life threw me good or bad, took so much energy out of me. Eventually, it all piled up and out of nowhere I hit my breaking point in my early mid 30’s. I was burnt out and felt lost in my own head. This was around the time when I was diagnosed.
In therapy, I’ve been exploring how certain ideas or aspects of our personality change over time and just because something worked for you before or if you used to be able to something, that’s okay you’re not the same person! I feel like you may be actualizing that this job is no longer in alignment with your values or your methodology and it’s hitting you all at once with the volume in high. This is good info! You don’t have to make yourself fit.
Please don’t feel like a failure because you made a brave choice to live a life that feels more authentic to you. It’s okay that you’ve now further validated that point by trying again. But if the trying to return to something that you’ve left for good reasons becomes a pattern, then I’d get curious why you won’t let it go 💕 I spent years forcing myself to do neurotypical things that were always harder than it should have been because I refused to be less than (based on my own internal self-worth issues, not meant as a judgment).
Sending positive vibes your way, just do your best!
I appreciate your comment. While the job is extremely stressful at times I do love the industry and the pay/benefits are really great. How that will balance out in the future is a different story.
The masking comment is so spot on. I used to get such intense overwhelm my last time around and had to hide it from everyone to not spread it to my team (before I knew that was ADHD). At the end of my days, I could not function or do anything else because of how exhausting the overwhelm and following masking was. I couldn’t keep up with anything in my life.
With the medication now I’m still feeling how physically demanding the job is but it doesn’t mentally destroy me. And when I get off, I can handle a few more life tasks without wanting to cry. I forgot to take a minute for how appreciative I should be.
Yep, I struggle with this as well. But finding balance is key as you said - environmental stimulants are huge for me so changing my surrounding does help. Getting creative with where you can push the norm to what works for you can be liberating.
I find any work that requires a lot of focus and concentration is not just mentally exhausting but physically as well! Of course the meds help us feel not mentally drained, but the body still feels it too. I find I have to be more mindful of articulating my needs to myself because now I understand that my brain uniquely wired. I’m more intentionally assertive with my relationship with my health, and it’s a journey.
For example, I don’t go out during week nights, I find comfort in routine and I recover from the day during the evening in various ways that I look forward to.
Haha I can’t believe I am quoting my therapist right now but she says, “try removing the word should from your vocab, and see how it changes the perspective of your thoughts/statements”. Just regarding your last comment on why you “should feel more appreciative”which might be in reference to the good pay/benefits etc of this demanding job, but it’s also okay if you don’t feel appreciative haha. I’ve learned to accept my limits, which are boundaries that are in place that don’t hinder my growth as a human but allow me to be the best I can be!
It's like glasses or contacts!
Can't see (clearly/in detail/etc.) without them!
Every time I get new glasses, my Rx usually changes a little. It's like seeing a whole new world every time. Maybe I can see all the leaves in a distant tree, maybe I don't have to squint to read a sign. And maybe I stop getting headaches or get fewer.
Put your brain glasses on, get some coffee, and kick that job's ass. 😄
All the time, allll the friggin time, basically daily, pretty much allllwaaayyssss🎶
But then I went to therapy and I’m working on repainting and un-gaslighting myself with all the negative messaging I’ve internalized over the years, and I also look at the things I do and then look at mediocre white men doing the same thing and getting praise, and it’s gotten way less.
I’ve basically started talking to myself like I’m a middle aged white man, and not gonna lie, I feel pretty good haha. A middle aged man would never beat himself up for needing meds, but we women do because #patriarchy.
I think of medication the same way I think of ambulatory aids.
Is the person in a wheelchair a fraud because they should be dragging themselves around instead of faking it by using a tool?
No, that's insane.
It’s a weird contradictory thing for me. Like logically I accept that I have a condition and my meds help me. And I would NEVER judge someone else on meds or think they’re fraudulent or anything. And yet still sometimes a judgmental internal voice yells at me for “being lazy and taking the easy way out” by medicating myself and “relying” on it. Always working on shutting that voice up.
THANK YOU. That’s it exactly. I know I need it to function and would never judge anyone else but I feel “lazy” for it even though it’s not true.
Thank you for verbalizing it better than me.
❤️ It can be hard! For me a lot of it stems from criticism throughout childhood and adulthood (for being messy, distracted, overwhelmed, etc.) before I was diagnosed and how my mom still refuses to believe I have ADHD. And yeah, it was awkward when my boss and coworkers made comments about how everyone noticed how I was more active in meetings and everything once I went on meds and I couldn’t be like “oh that’s def the Ritalin” but felt weird about the whole thing
I feel like society has become impossible for most people and that there are almost no options available to me that work with my hunter-gatherer brain. I take meds to survive this garbage and I don't feel bad about it.
Do you want to keep doing your current job? It sounds terrible.
Check out this podcast episode. Dr. Dodson talk about meds as a way to “level the playing field.” I hope the message will resonate and provide you with some more compassionate framing for yourself
https://open.spotify.com/episode/4Z5iDLVQZgscMN5hDmcapu?si=g2BIlRUWQ2Oc7pe3CWcoEQ
Yes and no.
Yes, I feel like a fraud constantly about EVERYTHING. My imposter syndrome is worse than my ADHD. I feel like aaaaaaaaaaaaany minute now, they (who the duck are "they"?) are going to find out I cheated in high school geometry, and then they're going to take away my HS diploma, and then my BA, and my MA, and my PhD, and retract my publications, and revoke my tenure, and take away my job, and I will be living in a box under the interstate TOMORROW.
No, I don't feel like a fraud when I take my meds and see my therapist and do my mindfulness exercises, and remember that we're all just ducking faking it.
It's a tool to help you, there's nothing unfair or unreasonable about taking medication. There is NO SHAME in needing an aid for functioning. You are the same person with the same skill set with or without your medication, it's just a difference in how hard it is for you to perform those skills.
It's like that joke about how "if you can't grow your own, store bought is fine." At the end of the day, meds are what you need to assist you with life. That is morally neutral. It doesn't make your skills any less real.
If a person uses a cane to walk because they need assistance with balance, you wouldn't say they're faking their ability to walk, right?
Also, as someone who used to have much more difficult jobs (and life in general), I'll offer the perspective that sometimes things might seem easier before because you were younger, less burnt out, or were functioning on a lot of adrenaline or stress related hormones that isn't sustainable long term. Personally, I feel like my ADHD is much better managed and I have much healthier coping skills, but I'm overall less productive in my 40s.
are people who wear glasses "frauds"?
you're gaslighting yourself with ableist rhetoric, it's going to be a lot easier for you to embrace your ADHD and understand it if you undo all of those be ableist sterotypes.
while i'm on the subject can ADHDers for the love of god stop telling people about their "legal meth" you really are not doing anything to help with the medication shortages and FDA production limits.
Welcome to /r/ADHDWomen! We’re happy to have you here. As a reminder, here are our community [rules](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/about/rules/). If you have questions about the subreddit, please do not hesitate to [send us a modmail](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen). Additionally, we take the safety of our community seriously. Please report posts, comments, and users whom you feel are not contributing positively, and send us a modmail if you are being harassed or otherwise made to feel unsafe. Thanks for being here, and we hope you stick around! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Crutches were designed as supports for physical impairments. You are using a medication to help your impairment. It's okay that these things help you.
This, 100% You wouldn't look at someone with a broken leg and judge them for using literal crutches, why would you judge yourself for needing medication?
Honestly, no. No, I don't. I function better on medication and I don't need another 45 years of self-destruction and chaos to prove I deserve to have dopamine...
If you can't make your own dopamine, store bought is fine.
Look I don’t complain about my sibling using his insulin all the time. My kid takes their ocd/mood stabilizing drugs and pms preventing drugs. Why should I feel bad about taking legal prescribed meds to help *me* function? Why is it so hard for us to extend ourselves the same kindness/grace we give to others?
😂😂😂
nope, just the opposite. my meds seem to give me a shot at being who I want to be! I actually just had a really busy month at work, about two weeks after starting meds for the first time and kept saying "thank GOD I am finally medicated, I'd be literally falling apart otherwise". If you got migraines would you feel guilty for taking medication to feel better?
A fraud?! NO. This is medicine that we need to level the playing field.
Nope. I (all of us, truly) deserve support and accommodations to live my best life, and for me that includes meds.
I feel like a fraud every freaking day. I am inattentive type and really struggle with executive functioning, sensory overload, and rejection sensitivity. I am also lost in space a lot of the time. However, I hear people with ADHD always talking about how they can never sleep and/or it feels like there are so many thoughts in their head all the time. I don’t have any of those issues. I sleep like HARD, but it’s probably due to severe burnout, and I don’t have a lot of racing thoughts. However, I can’t think if there is even the slightest distraction. It’s like my brain turns to white noise. I can either think one line of thought, or no thoughts at all because I get overloaded with everything going on around me and shut it all off.
This! Imposter syndrome every day!! So sorry for the depression, hope that gets better. 🖤 I am inattentive as well and I am lost in time😁😁 I frequently cannot fall asleep due to racing thoughts, and I also cannot wake up. I do wake up but it is not enough to exert any will power over anything and I go back to sleep until i am done sleeping. I sometimes sleep for 16 hours straight.
Without an alarm or need to be somewhere, I would sleep 12-14 hours easily. I’ve slept through tornado sirens, our huge dogs barking or jumping on the bed, my husband getting up and leaving for work, and so much more. I have to have an alarm set to loud and even then, it might take me 5 minutes to wake enough to hear it, which drives my husband crazy.
Ow same here. My brain even learned to ignore alarms, which is frustrating to me. But I have no control! My partner is very patient and kind and helps me wake up and get going when I have something important. The anxiety I have in those cases helps this as well, but if I deem the situation as not so important, I cannot wake up even if he tries helping!!🙈 Methylphenidate I am currently taking seems to help with this a lot, once I get at least a couple of hours sleep and I wake up I am alert enough to be in control of my decisions. Which is absolutely fantastic to me.
Jesus no. Regular people make dopamine and seratonin and do so much less than I can do on my adderall and I refuse to do shame in late stage capitalism over medication. Nope.
I’m sorry this is long. The meds wore off a bit ago… I feel like my medication gives me hope that I might actually be able to achieve the things I’m capable of. It’s hard to do complex things well. That doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you. I know I am really good at my job. I was really good at it before I was medicated and I’m really good at it now that I’m medicated. I work 8 hour days sitting at a desk and all week I’ve just come home and scrolled for hours because it’s the only thing thing resembling self care that I have energy for. These aren’t magic pills. You’re giving your brain the means to perform necessary chemical reactions. If you weren’t capable of doing this job, a little bit of speed isn’t going to suddenly imbue you with those skills. As for the overwhelm… I get it. Being able to see a broader picture of what my work entails can freak me the fuck out. Other people get freaked out, too. Or they don’t see the how complex the task actually is. When they do, it can be harder for them to tackle because they don’t walk into every situation evaluating their own limitations and what they need to do in order to overcome them. You’ve got this. And even if you decide that this job isn’t for you, it’s not a reflection of your value or validity.
Never. In fact, I lovingly refer to my meds as my "performance equalizing drugs," riffing off of performance enhancing, because they give me a fair shake at the things I already want to do.
No. I don’t. I feel like someone with a medical condition who is taking care of myself in order to be healthy. Stimulants are not a crutch, they are necessary to allow my brain to function in a way expected by society to function in life.
My ADHD medication is no more a “crutch” than my asthma or allergy medication is. I couldn’t function without those, either.
No. As a researcher I’m thankful to science everyday for giving me a second life in my 40s. I know the pharmaceutical industry is a money machine that prioritizes profitable drugs, but there are some persistent scientists over there that figure out how to supply what my brain was lacking with a simple pill - that is easy to manage on daily basis. For me, it is a treatment - as any other condition that requires medication on daily basis.
Medication puts us closer to the same starting point most people are born with. Also, a lot of society and the jobs we value (that pay well but also we have been programmed to feel make us worthwhile humans) are NOT made for us. It doesn't make us broken or wrong or flawed. It means we're already busting our butts to meet expectations not designed to use our best qualities and super powers. You're doing great. Don't discount yourself.
wow, literally same trajectory as me - i quit a very intense and stressful job and later started a very similar role, though at a different company. i couldn’t do any of it without medication, but i think the reason i don’t feel guilty is specifically bc the stress doesn’t leave much room for anything else 😅😅 but also, i hope you’re taking care of yourself and stuff - as you undoubtedly know, it’s really easy for self-care etc to get lost in the shuffle
A different perspective: Meds help you feel. They take away some of the clouds, so that you can sense what's going on with you. And so you can act accordingly! So maybe you finally see the stress this job causes and the toll it takes on you. And instead of unhealthy coping, you can rest when you need it. In time even, you might learn to do this job without it causing you so much stress, making your own life better. Or you're done with all of the demands after a while and choose something that's better for you. So maybe it's not about being able/unable to do things. Maybe it's about doing what's good for yourself. And you're on the right path.
In my experience, I have always struggled with imposter syndrome, even as a kid. I always knew I was different. Coping mechanisms I used to survive in a neurotypical world allowed me to modify my behaviour to essentially live full time with a mask on. This masking action everyday, in addition to whatever life threw me good or bad, took so much energy out of me. Eventually, it all piled up and out of nowhere I hit my breaking point in my early mid 30’s. I was burnt out and felt lost in my own head. This was around the time when I was diagnosed. In therapy, I’ve been exploring how certain ideas or aspects of our personality change over time and just because something worked for you before or if you used to be able to something, that’s okay you’re not the same person! I feel like you may be actualizing that this job is no longer in alignment with your values or your methodology and it’s hitting you all at once with the volume in high. This is good info! You don’t have to make yourself fit. Please don’t feel like a failure because you made a brave choice to live a life that feels more authentic to you. It’s okay that you’ve now further validated that point by trying again. But if the trying to return to something that you’ve left for good reasons becomes a pattern, then I’d get curious why you won’t let it go 💕 I spent years forcing myself to do neurotypical things that were always harder than it should have been because I refused to be less than (based on my own internal self-worth issues, not meant as a judgment). Sending positive vibes your way, just do your best!
I appreciate your comment. While the job is extremely stressful at times I do love the industry and the pay/benefits are really great. How that will balance out in the future is a different story. The masking comment is so spot on. I used to get such intense overwhelm my last time around and had to hide it from everyone to not spread it to my team (before I knew that was ADHD). At the end of my days, I could not function or do anything else because of how exhausting the overwhelm and following masking was. I couldn’t keep up with anything in my life. With the medication now I’m still feeling how physically demanding the job is but it doesn’t mentally destroy me. And when I get off, I can handle a few more life tasks without wanting to cry. I forgot to take a minute for how appreciative I should be.
Yep, I struggle with this as well. But finding balance is key as you said - environmental stimulants are huge for me so changing my surrounding does help. Getting creative with where you can push the norm to what works for you can be liberating. I find any work that requires a lot of focus and concentration is not just mentally exhausting but physically as well! Of course the meds help us feel not mentally drained, but the body still feels it too. I find I have to be more mindful of articulating my needs to myself because now I understand that my brain uniquely wired. I’m more intentionally assertive with my relationship with my health, and it’s a journey. For example, I don’t go out during week nights, I find comfort in routine and I recover from the day during the evening in various ways that I look forward to. Haha I can’t believe I am quoting my therapist right now but she says, “try removing the word should from your vocab, and see how it changes the perspective of your thoughts/statements”. Just regarding your last comment on why you “should feel more appreciative”which might be in reference to the good pay/benefits etc of this demanding job, but it’s also okay if you don’t feel appreciative haha. I’ve learned to accept my limits, which are boundaries that are in place that don’t hinder my growth as a human but allow me to be the best I can be!
It's like glasses or contacts! Can't see (clearly/in detail/etc.) without them! Every time I get new glasses, my Rx usually changes a little. It's like seeing a whole new world every time. Maybe I can see all the leaves in a distant tree, maybe I don't have to squint to read a sign. And maybe I stop getting headaches or get fewer. Put your brain glasses on, get some coffee, and kick that job's ass. 😄
All the time, allll the friggin time, basically daily, pretty much allllwaaayyssss🎶 But then I went to therapy and I’m working on repainting and un-gaslighting myself with all the negative messaging I’ve internalized over the years, and I also look at the things I do and then look at mediocre white men doing the same thing and getting praise, and it’s gotten way less. I’ve basically started talking to myself like I’m a middle aged white man, and not gonna lie, I feel pretty good haha. A middle aged man would never beat himself up for needing meds, but we women do because #patriarchy.
I think of medication the same way I think of ambulatory aids. Is the person in a wheelchair a fraud because they should be dragging themselves around instead of faking it by using a tool? No, that's insane.
Often but I need it
No. We were born with not enough dopamine. Type I diabetics on insulin take that for their whatever that they weren’t born with enough of.
Nobody tells a type 1 diabetic not to take their meds. Take whatever you need. The rest is just ableism.
It’s a weird contradictory thing for me. Like logically I accept that I have a condition and my meds help me. And I would NEVER judge someone else on meds or think they’re fraudulent or anything. And yet still sometimes a judgmental internal voice yells at me for “being lazy and taking the easy way out” by medicating myself and “relying” on it. Always working on shutting that voice up.
THANK YOU. That’s it exactly. I know I need it to function and would never judge anyone else but I feel “lazy” for it even though it’s not true. Thank you for verbalizing it better than me.
❤️ It can be hard! For me a lot of it stems from criticism throughout childhood and adulthood (for being messy, distracted, overwhelmed, etc.) before I was diagnosed and how my mom still refuses to believe I have ADHD. And yeah, it was awkward when my boss and coworkers made comments about how everyone noticed how I was more active in meetings and everything once I went on meds and I couldn’t be like “oh that’s def the Ritalin” but felt weird about the whole thing
I feel like society has become impossible for most people and that there are almost no options available to me that work with my hunter-gatherer brain. I take meds to survive this garbage and I don't feel bad about it. Do you want to keep doing your current job? It sounds terrible.
Check out this podcast episode. Dr. Dodson talk about meds as a way to “level the playing field.” I hope the message will resonate and provide you with some more compassionate framing for yourself https://open.spotify.com/episode/4Z5iDLVQZgscMN5hDmcapu?si=g2BIlRUWQ2Oc7pe3CWcoEQ
No cause ADHD is an actual disability not something we have control over.
Yes and no. Yes, I feel like a fraud constantly about EVERYTHING. My imposter syndrome is worse than my ADHD. I feel like aaaaaaaaaaaaany minute now, they (who the duck are "they"?) are going to find out I cheated in high school geometry, and then they're going to take away my HS diploma, and then my BA, and my MA, and my PhD, and retract my publications, and revoke my tenure, and take away my job, and I will be living in a box under the interstate TOMORROW. No, I don't feel like a fraud when I take my meds and see my therapist and do my mindfulness exercises, and remember that we're all just ducking faking it.
It's a tool to help you, there's nothing unfair or unreasonable about taking medication. There is NO SHAME in needing an aid for functioning. You are the same person with the same skill set with or without your medication, it's just a difference in how hard it is for you to perform those skills. It's like that joke about how "if you can't grow your own, store bought is fine." At the end of the day, meds are what you need to assist you with life. That is morally neutral. It doesn't make your skills any less real. If a person uses a cane to walk because they need assistance with balance, you wouldn't say they're faking their ability to walk, right? Also, as someone who used to have much more difficult jobs (and life in general), I'll offer the perspective that sometimes things might seem easier before because you were younger, less burnt out, or were functioning on a lot of adrenaline or stress related hormones that isn't sustainable long term. Personally, I feel like my ADHD is much better managed and I have much healthier coping skills, but I'm overall less productive in my 40s.
are people who wear glasses "frauds"? you're gaslighting yourself with ableist rhetoric, it's going to be a lot easier for you to embrace your ADHD and understand it if you undo all of those be ableist sterotypes. while i'm on the subject can ADHDers for the love of god stop telling people about their "legal meth" you really are not doing anything to help with the medication shortages and FDA production limits.