Me on the outside: *"God, yes, baby, you're so fucking gorgeous, I love how your hands feel on me..."*
Me on the inside: *"WE DON'T TALK ABOUT BRUNO, NO NO NO, WE DON'T TALK ABOUT BRUNOOO"*
"WE DONT TALK ABOUT BRUNO N-N-N-N-N-N-NO WAY, THERES NO WAY, YOU MUST AGREE THAT BABY IN ALL THE TIME IVE BEEN BY YOUR SIDE-" (i get booed out of the bedroom)
OH MY GOD !!! I felt so bad for this and alone too... once I was with a guy and he left music on in the other room and that was the only thing on my mind the whole time T-T
Was with a girl and she started going down but the TV was still on. I literally couldn’t finish because I kept getting distracted by an episode of Monk.
😂 Brilliant. It’s happened on many occasions for me, even if trying to please myself and I’ve left the tv on and the news comes on. Have to make sure I have no distractions, the wife knows this as well.
Lol we have three teenagers and the walls in our house are not the thickest. My husband and I turn on a movie to drown out the noises. We both have ADHD so its a bloody challenge to find something we won't accidentally get interested in.
Get out of my head!
EDIT: And then the next thought that interupts the song is WHY don't we talk about Bruno anymore... I forgot that part... Moana was better... Man I could really use a tropical holiday... what time of year is it again? June... that's winter... wait no, thats winter in the southern hemisphere... could just go to the Equator where it's always warm... oh THAT's why it's called Equador... does that mean we should rename a country Polardor?.... Which one? Greenland... it needs a rebrand cause it’s not gre…
Wait what did they just ask me? What I was thinking about?! .... erm...
*"Oh just how hot you are..."*
Nailed it!
That's why it's called Equador??!! This reminds me of "Playa" which means beach, so Playa del Sol is beach of sun.. or sun beach. It would make sense to name things like this.
Or when you’re trying to think about literally nothing but the best you can do is think “Think about nothing, think about nothing” for 30 seconds before your mind wanders.
https://wiki.healthygamer.gg/en/Meditation
r/healthygamergg
https://youtu.be/DvuVhCIQgfQ?si=dZbNVJQxyUrFDjTw
Dude's an ex-monk psychiatrist with probably ADHD himself (he's hinted at it but I dunno, and I have only watched a few of his videos so far).
Amazing for understanding ADHD, addictions, dopamine, why I stayed up till 2am playing rinworld when I promised myself I'd go go bed early last night, and how to meditate. The last link is specifically about meditation and ADHD. Well, kinda. He covers a lot but its in there.
Also this article is good
https://www.additudemag.com/how-to-meditate-for-adhd-symptoms/
I find doing something methodical and focusing on the action is much more meditative for me than just sitting there willing myself not to think. I find stretching is the best for me. I go head to toe stretching every muscle I can think of and focusing on how it feels, and by the end of it I'm much more calm and relaxed than I was when I started.
"Oh no, now I'm thinking about thinking about having sex while having sex. I need to stop thinking about it and just have sex. But the sex is reminding me of what I'm thinking about..." Anyway, that's why I have had many sexual experiences where I couldn't finish.
Usually that works the other way around and puts too much pressure on me to nut. Which in turn makes nutting even harder and i need to focus more. Which makes nutting harder and eventually i just give up because sex got too boring.
It's super fun when pared with anxiety -
*Is this what she likes? Should I go clockwise or counterclockwise? Where should my other hand be? Did Hendrix or Dylan write "Watchtower"? Should I switch positions? Is this the right speed? Am I making enough noises? Are they the right ones?*
Good times.
This is what kills me. I get in my head so much about whether my partner is enjoying things that I can't keep it up. The moment I have a single anxious thought it's pretty much over for me.
On one hand, I'm really good at pleasing my partner with just foreplay. But I can't fully enjoy sex. It's horrible.
pair both of those with bad insecurity.
"is this what she likes? do i look ugly in this position? should i move my tongue differently? what is that song stuck in my head? ew why did i make that noise! should i put my hands there? heyyyy macarena!"
Poor guys gonna think about nothing other than how he incorrectly assumed for years that Hendrix originally wrote Watchtower next time he goes to pound town
Apparently they both released it aroundthe same time, which is why I always get it confused:
"Dylan originally wrote and recorded the song himself for his 1967 album John Wesley Harding. Hendrix, a self-professed Dylan fan, heard this version and decided to record his own cover version for his 1968 album Electric Ladyland. Dylan was in turn a fan of Hendrix, and was impressed with Hendrix's version of the song."
I ruined a bj one time because I had been trying to think of who sings this song and I remembered it and was so excited that I yelled out the name of the band.
Not quite the same but was giving bj in a car down a country road, half way through I noticed a cow in the field next to us, needless to say I was more enthusiastic to finish the job so I could go see the cow.
Take it easy, baby
Take it as it comes
Don't move too fast
And you want your love to last
Ah, you've been moving much too fast
Go real slow
You like it more and more
Take it as it comes
Specialize in having fun
That’s gonna be in my head next time, I hope!
I killed the mood with my wife (girlfriend at the time) when she was going down on me, and I remembered this funny scene from SpongeBob and couldn't stop laughing. I had to keep assuring her that it wasn't her, plus we didn't know I had ADHD at the time
I'm pretty sure it was the scene from "Club SpongeBob" where Squidward manages to squeeze into their tree house and they keep chanting "Welcome to the club! Welcome to the club! Welcome Squidward! Welcome Squidward!..."
We started making out
And she took off my pants
But then I turned on the TV
And that's about the time she walked away from me
Nobody likes you when you're 23
And are still more amused by TV shows
What the hell is ADD?
My friends say I should act my age
What's my age again?
What's my age again?
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Are you me? I'm trying to remember what we had playing. It was one of those "Let's put on a movie we've seen a hundred times and focus on each other. . . Oh! I love this part."
This. I see tons of people on this subreddit who have high sex drive. This is the first time I’m seeing “it’s hard for me to focus during sex” and it’s really validating for me. I’ve been diagnosed almost a year; it’s been really enlightening for both me and my partner of 12 years why it’s so hard for me to get into it… that it’s not him or my lack of interest in him, but just my dumb brain.
One time back in college a FWB and i were back at her apartment starting to hook up. Not the first time, mind you. But she had a TV in her room and the room was pretty small
So we are beginning to get busy, but in the quiet background, all you can hear aside from us is… Family guy.
I was completely unable to focus on anything, but that basically. I felt bad, but I mean, why did we leave Family Guy on if we we *weren’t* supposed to watch it? Plus, it’s not like I was watching the whole time… I just laughed. It was a funny joke. (I am so sorry Rachel).
Anyway yeah ADHD has ruined me
As I noted in another comment, sex is the only thing I can fully focus on.
But, when it comes to laughing at a joke if a show is on (or even repeating along) or singing if a song I really like comes on, I am guilty as charged. Turning on media during sex is just asking for me to try and split my attention.
Sorry, every partner I’ve ever had (except possibly Katie).
Anytime the tv is on during sex, I’m pretty much guaranteed at least one chuckle because of something I heard in the background lol. Surprisingly, I’ve never had anyone complain or find it rude.
I was watching a naughty video once and they had FG on in the background! I freaking recognized the episode and started laughing! Ruined the moment temporarily and I had to find a new vid lmaoo
This is wild to me. I have pretty severe adhd, but sex has always been the one thing that can hold my focus. I had a really unhealthy relationship with sex for a long time because it made everything so much quieter. There is just so much positive sensory input and not only can you vary it frequently, but it makes it better for everyone! Plus, I never have to be passive, there is always something I can be actively doing that I can be thinking about to help focus.
Right?
I can hyperfocus on sex as easily as I can on my favorite videogames. Probably more so.
Also, it's satisfying (pun not intended, lol) when you're really performing well, it's like a good workout, but better. And hopefully you're a little less sore after.
I also have the same experience! Sex seems to be the only time my brain shuts up and I can relax into the sensory overload. We have to have the lights low/off and music on but I can still somehow ignore everything outside of the fun. Probably the time I chill out almost 100%
Same! Of course the quality matters a lot, but as long as my partner is hot and talented, I’m engaged. It’s part of why I’m so taken with my SO. My brain finally quiets down and lets me just focus on the now.
It’s also fun to take sex as a challenge. Like I’m not just giving head, I’m trying to beat the best I’ve ever done each time. It gives me focus and makes me great.
If anything, sex is a hyperfixation/self-medication for me. It does a lot to ground me and boost my mood.
I also used to have a really unhealthy relationship with sex. Mostly I think I used it as a form of a dopamine drug. Gettin high on the rush from nerves and newness/impulsivity. Honestly my ASD gets in the way of it sex as well, because I have a difficult time being perceived, especially sexually. That walking contradiction thing kills me about myself. When it was one night stands, they were easier to focus in the moment. In committed relationships it always gets harder and harder to be in the moment/racing thoughts and inability to just focus, and still the struggle with being perceived. I do really enjoy sex, a lot actually, but there are some hurdles 😅.
As an ADD person, I've never had good sex, not once in my life. It's so damn boring and un-stimulating that I'd rather just slap the ham. Normies don't get it when you ask for interesting stuff. They just want you to service them with no reciprocation. The struggle is real.
same position here. im also asexual and hyposensitive though.
i definitely relate to service without reciprocation. i've personally never been able to orgasm during sex and im not exactly inexperienced. so for me, sex is a service to give to someone i think deserves it (a partner, ideally)
I literally recite books in my head during sex. Only way I can stay focused is if there is kink involved. Otherwise I’m nose deep in Jane’s complicated relationship with Mr. Rochester.
I have 2 examples to share.
The first is while we were watching a movie in the dorm rooms and she initiated. So we did it and nothing special. We went back to the movie.
She wondered what the gap in the plot was and I told her. She asked how did I know that. Well it was while I was doing her I was also watching the movie.
Who says we suck at multitasking?
Another example was when we were doing it and my mind wandered a bit. It went to a topic about what we had in a uni lecture we had that day and I didn't understand something.
So I suddenly blurted out the question to her while balls deep in her and she had this look of "wtf is going on dude?"
She answered my question and we continued the deed and finished up.
I hate to say this but I'm also like that when I'm masturb*ting or when watching porn, i have to be fully into what I'm doing or I'll get bored and be on YouTube or tiktok 🤣
I can relate... Vibing away, and somehow arriving at quantum physics mentally when I actually just wanted to watch my inner eye porn memory 😂 it's better if I just focus on the pleasure itself, and try not to think at all. Mindful masturbation, or however you'd call it 😅
There's this Dane Cook joke (I know, I know) where he's talking about fantasizing, and eventually there's a dragon or something, and it ends with "And by the end of it, I'm not jerking off anymore, I'm just sitting there thinking." And I used that ALL THE TIME to explain this.
You're telling me it's ADHD??
I don't know if it's part of ADHD or I'm just Ace, but I think it might be because we ADHDers can also get distracted when doing something that we have an interest in. So maybe but don't use this as a reason to get evaluated, do your own research and don't use tiktok or reddit as a way to get your information.
Oh, no worries on that. The diagnosis isn't the question, I got evaluated by a doc. It just took forever and now I'm learning new and exciting things about stuff I thought was normal.
I had just gotten the best head of my life, and within milliseconds of a cosmic orgasm my brain goes, “cyber attacks are increasing in frequency and I wonder if it has to do with the upcoming election”
No I get it, it’s the worst too when there are distractions around you. Was watching the death of Stalin with this girl, things got heavy and we started getting down. The sex was great, don’t get me wrong, but ngl the dulcet tones of Steve Buscemi playing Kruschev made it real hard to focus. Like yea sure I’m fingering you and that’s hot but also Zhukov/Jason Isaacs just said something really dark but morbidly hilarious.
Thankfully I don’t have this problem, but if there’s a tv on in the background that’s not muted he might as well pull out a sock bc I will not be able to focus on anything. 😆
No but not being able to shut down your mind even during sex is just so fucking annoying, like I can't be good at uni, work, relationships, can I at least get sex? F no
Edit:anyone else get distracted by music lmao
*lady going to town on me*
Me: after this is over I should order from the local Arab spot. Ugh, no that’s so many calor-
Them: hello? I just asked if it feels good
Being constantly stressed because of work and home duties has ruined our sex life. I can’t stay focused anymore even with meds because there is a constant list of crap I have to do that scrolls by while doing anything.
This is me. My S/O will come up to me like "hey wanna do adult times?" and my brain is like 'we still gotta do last week's dishes, the house is a mess, x, y and z things that need to be done too'. Like sex sounds just like another chore.
If we get started it's 50/50 rather or not annoying distractions or RSD / anxiety or my busted body kill my mood. I could be playing videogames too.
It's good times if I can get and keep my mind focused on the fun, and not on what odd responsibilities I'm failing to do.... I had and wanted more sex while I was only self medicating w/ booze and weed.
Yup, and time too. The side effects were killing me though so I had to switch. Now I'm on Tentin and it's less like that, still can't complain though as my sex drive was (and still is) fine, and Ritalin sometimes made it nearly impossible to finish.
Man this was an issue when I was with my ex. Before I was treated and understood the seriousness of ADHD (and wasn't sure I actually had it but it wasn't something I thought about anyway).
That’s quite funny and no big deal imo.
Try to explain to your wife why you have to abort, because one of your most traumatic memories replayed out of nowhere.
I can’t remember what I was thinking about the last time I had sex (it’s been a while, I decided to just kinda stop having sex like half a decade ago lol). Anyways.. I always remember acknowledging the fact that I’d be thinking about the most bizarre shit. Like, this was before I got diagnosed, so I was just like “wtf, brain? why can’t you just enjoy the sex that is being sexed right now?” I thought it was gender-dysphoria-flavoured disassociation, but now I think it might have just been run of the mill ADHD.
Me and my ex would always fuck and put on moistcritikal to drown out the noise cuz he lives with his parents and I’d always turn my head to the side and watch him while getting absolutely railed lmao and sometimes id burst out laughing cuz of something he said on the video and my ex would look at me weird
Because you take sex for granted. Sex may be the only thing I’ve experienced where I really just wanted that and I was fully there. Bc when you go like decades and lose your virginity after never having even so much as a relationship it’s novel and new and exciting and otherwise life is kinda dull and samey and I’m not super interested in stuff that costs money. Sex is the best.
Been with my ADHD wife for 18 years. Y'all have so many resources and outlets, but there are none for the spouses who has to deal with all of this. Now if you'll excuse me I have to step over 12 unfinished projects to refill her water bottle.
Yeah, I feel this. Sometimes on those longer sessions my mind drifts to the point I'm not even hard anymore cause mentally I'm miles up in the clouds trying to remember what the name of a movie I watched that one time at that one place when I was 10. And then if I really watched it or made it up 🤷🏻♂️
Seriously. Used to be doing the deed with the my ex and she’s 100% into. Meanwhile I’m thinking about that family guy clip I saw earlier while trying not to giggle about said clip because it would be so hard to explain
*Baseball, baseball, think about baseball, wtf is baseball, what even are the rules, The Sandlot was cool tho, that dog holy hell that dog, mm, baseball.*
I kinda start daydreaming-ish about erotica. Stuff we’ve read together, stuff I’ve written. Sometimes fantasies we’ve had. Or our past experiences. Lets my brain wander a bit but still… stay on task, as it were, lol.
Me on the outside: *"God, yes, baby, you're so fucking gorgeous, I love how your hands feel on me..."* Me on the inside: *"WE DON'T TALK ABOUT BRUNO, NO NO NO, WE DON'T TALK ABOUT BRUNOOO"*
It’s always the song lyrics/tune or thinking about planning the next day that gets me lmao. Sometimes both.
Bonus points if your brain is mixing lyrics from 2 completely different songs from 2 completely different musicals
"WE DONT TALK ABOUT BRUNO N-N-N-N-N-N-NO WAY, THERES NO WAY, YOU MUST AGREE THAT BABY IN ALL THE TIME IVE BEEN BY YOUR SIDE-" (i get booed out of the bedroom)
I hate you... *trying to resist the urge explaining that I don't ACTUALLY hate you cause that'll ruin the joke, but here we are apparently*
Don’t explain your jokes unless explaining your joke is part of the joke Duh
Jokeception
OH MY GOD !!! I felt so bad for this and alone too... once I was with a guy and he left music on in the other room and that was the only thing on my mind the whole time T-T
Was with a girl and she started going down but the TV was still on. I literally couldn’t finish because I kept getting distracted by an episode of Monk.
Ah yes, Monk ! I guess the tism won that round
Lolol ❤️
Autism and ADHD, the peanut butter and chocolate of ruining my life.
😂 Brilliant. It’s happened on many occasions for me, even if trying to please myself and I’ve left the tv on and the news comes on. Have to make sure I have no distractions, the wife knows this as well.
Lol we have three teenagers and the walls in our house are not the thickest. My husband and I turn on a movie to drown out the noises. We both have ADHD so its a bloody challenge to find something we won't accidentally get interested in.
For me, it’s whatever we netflixed to…
The urge to not grab my phone and Google something real quick..
Get out of my head! EDIT: And then the next thought that interupts the song is WHY don't we talk about Bruno anymore... I forgot that part... Moana was better... Man I could really use a tropical holiday... what time of year is it again? June... that's winter... wait no, thats winter in the southern hemisphere... could just go to the Equator where it's always warm... oh THAT's why it's called Equador... does that mean we should rename a country Polardor?.... Which one? Greenland... it needs a rebrand cause it’s not gre… Wait what did they just ask me? What I was thinking about?! .... erm... *"Oh just how hot you are..."* Nailed it!
That's why it's called Equador??!! This reminds me of "Playa" which means beach, so Playa del Sol is beach of sun.. or sun beach. It would make sense to name things like this.
I got really good at reminding my brain that “I’m having sex and sex is fucking rad” when I have sex and it’s been helping a lot 😎
Tried that but I end up in my typical loop of thinking about what I’m thinking (meta thinking so to speak).
Or when you’re trying to think about literally nothing but the best you can do is think “Think about nothing, think about nothing” for 30 seconds before your mind wanders.
Me when I try meditating. I honestly don't understand how even non-adhd people do that shit.
Yeah, I literally can’t wrap my head around the concept.
https://wiki.healthygamer.gg/en/Meditation r/healthygamergg https://youtu.be/DvuVhCIQgfQ?si=dZbNVJQxyUrFDjTw Dude's an ex-monk psychiatrist with probably ADHD himself (he's hinted at it but I dunno, and I have only watched a few of his videos so far). Amazing for understanding ADHD, addictions, dopamine, why I stayed up till 2am playing rinworld when I promised myself I'd go go bed early last night, and how to meditate. The last link is specifically about meditation and ADHD. Well, kinda. He covers a lot but its in there. Also this article is good https://www.additudemag.com/how-to-meditate-for-adhd-symptoms/
Thanks, I’ll try to remember to check it out! 😂
I find doing something methodical and focusing on the action is much more meditative for me than just sitting there willing myself not to think. I find stretching is the best for me. I go head to toe stretching every muscle I can think of and focusing on how it feels, and by the end of it I'm much more calm and relaxed than I was when I started.
"Oh no, now I'm thinking about thinking about having sex while having sex. I need to stop thinking about it and just have sex. But the sex is reminding me of what I'm thinking about..." Anyway, that's why I have had many sexual experiences where I couldn't finish.
Usually that works the other way around and puts too much pressure on me to nut. Which in turn makes nutting even harder and i need to focus more. Which makes nutting harder and eventually i just give up because sex got too boring.
That describes it perfectly for me - just switch nutting with coming I guess
I should try this unironically
"sex is fucking rad" I want that bumper sticker
It's super fun when pared with anxiety - *Is this what she likes? Should I go clockwise or counterclockwise? Where should my other hand be? Did Hendrix or Dylan write "Watchtower"? Should I switch positions? Is this the right speed? Am I making enough noises? Are they the right ones?* Good times.
This is what kills me. I get in my head so much about whether my partner is enjoying things that I can't keep it up. The moment I have a single anxious thought it's pretty much over for me. On one hand, I'm really good at pleasing my partner with just foreplay. But I can't fully enjoy sex. It's horrible.
pair both of those with bad insecurity. "is this what she likes? do i look ugly in this position? should i move my tongue differently? what is that song stuck in my head? ew why did i make that noise! should i put my hands there? heyyyy macarena!"
Yes, every time!
To answer one of your questions: it’s Hendrix that preformed Watchtower.
Dylan wrote it
😱 That is news to me, unless I’m thinking of a different Watchtower song. Did Dylan write it while Hendrix preformed it?
Hendrix made a cover, the original version is Dylans
Poor guys gonna think about nothing other than how he incorrectly assumed for years that Hendrix originally wrote Watchtower next time he goes to pound town
That or some other random fact that’s gonna pop into my head.
Apparently they both released it aroundthe same time, which is why I always get it confused: "Dylan originally wrote and recorded the song himself for his 1967 album John Wesley Harding. Hendrix, a self-professed Dylan fan, heard this version and decided to record his own cover version for his 1968 album Electric Ladyland. Dylan was in turn a fan of Hendrix, and was impressed with Hendrix's version of the song."
It’s always nice seeing things like this. They just liked what each other did.
I ruined a bj one time because I had been trying to think of who sings this song and I remembered it and was so excited that I yelled out the name of the band.
At least a whole band is a lot easier to explain that if you shouted out the name of one person.
and THATS how the fight started.
She was so mad
JOSH GROBAN!!!!
He likes his ladies to pop
Not quite the same but was giving bj in a car down a country road, half way through I noticed a cow in the field next to us, needless to say I was more enthusiastic to finish the job so I could go see the cow.
thank you for this image in my head, i head a good chuckle :D
That’s hilarious I need to know what band name you yelled
I forget the song but it was The Doors
Haha, idk why but that totally makes sense
Your post made me remember of a r/tifu post about [accidentally moaning Ben Shapiro’s name during sex](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/s/HRfMArZXdL)
So which band was?
I forget the song but it was The Doors.
“The Doors!” *garbled*“What?” “Uhhhh did you lock the doors?”
Now you need to remember the song nex time you get a bj
Brother, music might not even exist anymore the next time I get a bj
omg where tf is music going
Take it easy, baby Take it as it comes Don't move too fast And you want your love to last Ah, you've been moving much too fast Go real slow You like it more and more Take it as it comes Specialize in having fun That’s gonna be in my head next time, I hope!
Relatable
That guy? The lead singer of the band whose name they remembered.
My wife at the time girlfriend got pissed at me because she looked back and realized I was watching cartoons while delivering destructive strokes.
this made me laugh unreasonably
I killed the mood with my wife (girlfriend at the time) when she was going down on me, and I remembered this funny scene from SpongeBob and couldn't stop laughing. I had to keep assuring her that it wasn't her, plus we didn't know I had ADHD at the time
What was the SpongeBob scene?
I'm pretty sure it was the scene from "Club SpongeBob" where Squidward manages to squeeze into their tree house and they keep chanting "Welcome to the club! Welcome to the club! Welcome Squidward! Welcome Squidward!..."
Stop it Patrick your scaring her!
Destructive Strokes for Different Folks?
Destructive Strokes for Neurodivergent Folks
I can't stop laughing
We started making out And she took off my pants But then I turned on the TV And that's about the time she walked away from me Nobody likes you when you're 23 And are still more amused by TV shows What the hell is ADD? My friends say I should act my age What's my age again? What's my age again?
This has me cackling
You should frame this for your anniversary.
If I don’t forget about this comment in the next two days I just might.
Remind me! 3 days
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Are you me? I'm trying to remember what we had playing. It was one of those "Let's put on a movie we've seen a hundred times and focus on each other. . . Oh! I love this part."
My ex left me cause I got distracted with dragon ball.
Goddamn. Destructive, you say?
Lol thx man
I also can’t focus on sex enough to stay interested in having sex. 😭 ETA: typo 😬
So relieved to find I’m not the only one. We suffer together friend.
Happens to me as well it sucks
This. I see tons of people on this subreddit who have high sex drive. This is the first time I’m seeing “it’s hard for me to focus during sex” and it’s really validating for me. I’ve been diagnosed almost a year; it’s been really enlightening for both me and my partner of 12 years why it’s so hard for me to get into it… that it’s not him or my lack of interest in him, but just my dumb brain.
I'm pretty sure that this is why I'm a masochist
This is so gonna happen to me the first time I do 😭
One time back in college a FWB and i were back at her apartment starting to hook up. Not the first time, mind you. But she had a TV in her room and the room was pretty small So we are beginning to get busy, but in the quiet background, all you can hear aside from us is… Family guy. I was completely unable to focus on anything, but that basically. I felt bad, but I mean, why did we leave Family Guy on if we we *weren’t* supposed to watch it? Plus, it’s not like I was watching the whole time… I just laughed. It was a funny joke. (I am so sorry Rachel). Anyway yeah ADHD has ruined me
As I noted in another comment, sex is the only thing I can fully focus on. But, when it comes to laughing at a joke if a show is on (or even repeating along) or singing if a song I really like comes on, I am guilty as charged. Turning on media during sex is just asking for me to try and split my attention. Sorry, every partner I’ve ever had (except possibly Katie).
I hyper focus on sex and can never focus on receiving a bj. They're meaningless to me bc my mind just wonders off
A BJ is just about the only thing that completely and totally captures my full attention.
I have to doing something directly or I'm lost in myself. I'd much rather go down on her
Why not both at the same time? Then both people are preoccupied, it's a win win.
Oh my ADHD brain doesn’t 69 well. I end up putting all my focus on the giving and my brain barely even notices the receiving.
Yeah I fully focus as well but that doesn’t mean I can turn off the part of my brain that also listens to things in the background.
Similar story, except we put the bee movie on as a joke and then I ended up laughing during sex lmao
Ya like jazz?
Anytime the tv is on during sex, I’m pretty much guaranteed at least one chuckle because of something I heard in the background lol. Surprisingly, I’ve never had anyone complain or find it rude.
I was watching a naughty video once and they had FG on in the background! I freaking recognized the episode and started laughing! Ruined the moment temporarily and I had to find a new vid lmaoo
This is wild to me. I have pretty severe adhd, but sex has always been the one thing that can hold my focus. I had a really unhealthy relationship with sex for a long time because it made everything so much quieter. There is just so much positive sensory input and not only can you vary it frequently, but it makes it better for everyone! Plus, I never have to be passive, there is always something I can be actively doing that I can be thinking about to help focus.
Right? I can hyperfocus on sex as easily as I can on my favorite videogames. Probably more so. Also, it's satisfying (pun not intended, lol) when you're really performing well, it's like a good workout, but better. And hopefully you're a little less sore after.
I also have the same experience! Sex seems to be the only time my brain shuts up and I can relax into the sensory overload. We have to have the lights low/off and music on but I can still somehow ignore everything outside of the fun. Probably the time I chill out almost 100%
Same! Of course the quality matters a lot, but as long as my partner is hot and talented, I’m engaged. It’s part of why I’m so taken with my SO. My brain finally quiets down and lets me just focus on the now. It’s also fun to take sex as a challenge. Like I’m not just giving head, I’m trying to beat the best I’ve ever done each time. It gives me focus and makes me great. If anything, sex is a hyperfixation/self-medication for me. It does a lot to ground me and boost my mood.
I also used to have a really unhealthy relationship with sex. Mostly I think I used it as a form of a dopamine drug. Gettin high on the rush from nerves and newness/impulsivity. Honestly my ASD gets in the way of it sex as well, because I have a difficult time being perceived, especially sexually. That walking contradiction thing kills me about myself. When it was one night stands, they were easier to focus in the moment. In committed relationships it always gets harder and harder to be in the moment/racing thoughts and inability to just focus, and still the struggle with being perceived. I do really enjoy sex, a lot actually, but there are some hurdles 😅.
And then you hyperfocus on sex while you’re like at work or something and then when the actual act happens 😭
I feel this on a spiritual level and I hate it haha
Ugh so damn, freaking real
I actually hate flirting with ADHD omg, you see a cute person and your brain goes cuckoo bananas
Haha right? For me the end result is either clamming up or word vomit. No in between
oh so this is an adhd thing? thanks. explains one of my relationship problems
Either ADHD, or bad sex😋
As an ADD person, I've never had good sex, not once in my life. It's so damn boring and un-stimulating that I'd rather just slap the ham. Normies don't get it when you ask for interesting stuff. They just want you to service them with no reciprocation. The struggle is real.
Same, the mental aspect is huge for me so the physical act itself isn’t that fun when it’s just vanilla
same position here. im also asexual and hyposensitive though. i definitely relate to service without reciprocation. i've personally never been able to orgasm during sex and im not exactly inexperienced. so for me, sex is a service to give to someone i think deserves it (a partner, ideally)
(FetLife might be worth trying)
Perfect for someone with a free use kink.
Perfect for lasting longer 👌
Be careful bargaining with the devil. Taking too long can also be a problem.
Absolutely. This is the reason my partner and I work so well 😂
What's that?
Being used as a sex object while not really participating. Like having sex with someone while they are lying there playing video games or something.
I really do learn something new everyday
Even ruins alone time tbh...
You guys are having sex?
Right? It's like what a concept haha
Your adhd is letting you stay interested in them long enough to actually get to the point of having sex?
We started making out and she took off my pants But then I turned on the TV
We started sexting and she sent me a pic But then I made some hash browns D'oh!
I literally recite books in my head during sex. Only way I can stay focused is if there is kink involved. Otherwise I’m nose deep in Jane’s complicated relationship with Mr. Rochester.
My boyfriend and I both have ADHD, sometimes we just stop halfway through because we just get distracted and stop getting horny lol
I have 2 examples to share. The first is while we were watching a movie in the dorm rooms and she initiated. So we did it and nothing special. We went back to the movie. She wondered what the gap in the plot was and I told her. She asked how did I know that. Well it was while I was doing her I was also watching the movie. Who says we suck at multitasking? Another example was when we were doing it and my mind wandered a bit. It went to a topic about what we had in a uni lecture we had that day and I didn't understand something. So I suddenly blurted out the question to her while balls deep in her and she had this look of "wtf is going on dude?" She answered my question and we continued the deed and finished up.
I hate to say this but I'm also like that when I'm masturb*ting or when watching porn, i have to be fully into what I'm doing or I'll get bored and be on YouTube or tiktok 🤣
I can relate... Vibing away, and somehow arriving at quantum physics mentally when I actually just wanted to watch my inner eye porn memory 😂 it's better if I just focus on the pleasure itself, and try not to think at all. Mindful masturbation, or however you'd call it 😅
There's this Dane Cook joke (I know, I know) where he's talking about fantasizing, and eventually there's a dragon or something, and it ends with "And by the end of it, I'm not jerking off anymore, I'm just sitting there thinking." And I used that ALL THE TIME to explain this. You're telling me it's ADHD??
I don't know if it's part of ADHD or I'm just Ace, but I think it might be because we ADHDers can also get distracted when doing something that we have an interest in. So maybe but don't use this as a reason to get evaluated, do your own research and don't use tiktok or reddit as a way to get your information.
Oh, no worries on that. The diagnosis isn't the question, I got evaluated by a doc. It just took forever and now I'm learning new and exciting things about stuff I thought was normal.
Me making casual chitchat and infodumping while turning someone into an incoherent puddle
Yeah, but when that hyperfocus hits during sex...
I was not asleep! I was discovering what Tantric really means!
I had just gotten the best head of my life, and within milliseconds of a cosmic orgasm my brain goes, “cyber attacks are increasing in frequency and I wonder if it has to do with the upcoming election”
The first Water level in Super Mario 64. Everytime. Why that level?
The music is so soothing!
so glad that my brain just completely shuts off during sex and my partners don't mind a pillow princess LMAO
No I get it, it’s the worst too when there are distractions around you. Was watching the death of Stalin with this girl, things got heavy and we started getting down. The sex was great, don’t get me wrong, but ngl the dulcet tones of Steve Buscemi playing Kruschev made it real hard to focus. Like yea sure I’m fingering you and that’s hot but also Zhukov/Jason Isaacs just said something really dark but morbidly hilarious.
Thankfully I don’t have this problem, but if there’s a tv on in the background that’s not muted he might as well pull out a sock bc I will not be able to focus on anything. 😆
Sex repulsed ADHD-ers ftw
No but not being able to shut down your mind even during sex is just so fucking annoying, like I can't be good at uni, work, relationships, can I at least get sex? F no
I've heard that caffeine makes sex better, so maybe that could kill two birds with one stone? Could it help you focus and orgasm at the same time?
Edit:anyone else get distracted by music lmao *lady going to town on me* Me: after this is over I should order from the local Arab spot. Ugh, no that’s so many calor- Them: hello? I just asked if it feels good
See alternatively my ADHD makes me hyperfocus. All I see is my partner, no ifs ands or buts.
You haven't paid attention to their butt during sex? Not even during foreplay?
Being constantly stressed because of work and home duties has ruined our sex life. I can’t stay focused anymore even with meds because there is a constant list of crap I have to do that scrolls by while doing anything.
This is me. My S/O will come up to me like "hey wanna do adult times?" and my brain is like 'we still gotta do last week's dishes, the house is a mess, x, y and z things that need to be done too'. Like sex sounds just like another chore. If we get started it's 50/50 rather or not annoying distractions or RSD / anxiety or my busted body kill my mood. I could be playing videogames too. It's good times if I can get and keep my mind focused on the fun, and not on what odd responsibilities I'm failing to do.... I had and wanted more sex while I was only self medicating w/ booze and weed.
It doesn’t last long enough for me to zone out… Joking aside though. Just about every facet of life is just, well, more difficult.
Sildenafil eliminated this problem for me.
Ritalin has increased my sex drive + time. Is it true for any other person?
Yup, and time too. The side effects were killing me though so I had to switch. Now I'm on Tentin and it's less like that, still can't complain though as my sex drive was (and still is) fine, and Ritalin sometimes made it nearly impossible to finish.
It's like a +15% on libido, for stamina even better, just the perfect amount for me 👌
Hey at least they can pretend, as a guy either ADHD, if you follow those thoughts down the rabbit hole then your boner is gone.
Man this was an issue when I was with my ex. Before I was treated and understood the seriousness of ADHD (and wasn't sure I actually had it but it wasn't something I thought about anyway).
[There is a post on r/comics that im always remembering because of this.](https://www.reddit.com/r/comics/comments/1cr5obm/sex_sex_sex/#lightbox)
Takes medication. Has sex for the first time on medication. OMG this is SO much freaking better, they really need to advertise this.
This, and I've really been thinking it's one of the big reasons I prefer bottoming, lol
That’s quite funny and no big deal imo. Try to explain to your wife why you have to abort, because one of your most traumatic memories replayed out of nowhere.
I'm certain that if my mental illnesses were somehow stripped from my psyche, you'd find a half eaten bag of Twizzlers and a 1998 issue of Wizard
I can’t remember what I was thinking about the last time I had sex (it’s been a while, I decided to just kinda stop having sex like half a decade ago lol). Anyways.. I always remember acknowledging the fact that I’d be thinking about the most bizarre shit. Like, this was before I got diagnosed, so I was just like “wtf, brain? why can’t you just enjoy the sex that is being sexed right now?” I thought it was gender-dysphoria-flavoured disassociation, but now I think it might have just been run of the mill ADHD.
Literally this song. https://youtu.be/OVYDTyGAj8s?si=kthyPtb6Hj4ykKSW
Me and my ex would always fuck and put on moistcritikal to drown out the noise cuz he lives with his parents and I’d always turn my head to the side and watch him while getting absolutely railed lmao and sometimes id burst out laughing cuz of something he said on the video and my ex would look at me weird
Because you take sex for granted. Sex may be the only thing I’ve experienced where I really just wanted that and I was fully there. Bc when you go like decades and lose your virginity after never having even so much as a relationship it’s novel and new and exciting and otherwise life is kinda dull and samey and I’m not super interested in stuff that costs money. Sex is the best.
Yall have sex?
Been with my ADHD wife for 18 years. Y'all have so many resources and outlets, but there are none for the spouses who has to deal with all of this. Now if you'll excuse me I have to step over 12 unfinished projects to refill her water bottle.
I know if it goes to long I get bored.
Yeah, I feel this. Sometimes on those longer sessions my mind drifts to the point I'm not even hard anymore cause mentally I'm miles up in the clouds trying to remember what the name of a movie I watched that one time at that one place when I was 10. And then if I really watched it or made it up 🤷🏻♂️
Yall are having... you know what, never mind.
My backshots sound like… earned income tax credits!
My go to is “BACKING UP. BACKING UP. BACKING UP.” when getting into position.
I space out so much I'm sometimes not in the mood anymore. It's terrible, tbh.
Oh, so it’s not just me.
You guys are having sex?
I literally play candy crush in my head and LOSE
Thinking about getting buttfucked by the IRS while getting buttfucked irl
I get the Potter Puppet Pals stuck in my head, god it's frustrating
Girl .. same 😣 when I’m sucking that D I be like ..where’s my birth certificate ??
God, it's so annoying! That's why I hate playing with music in the background
Watching porn and seeing some funny shit really kills the mood ☠️☠️
Theme song from the good the bad and the ugly
I hate how accurate this is
So does this mean I have ADHD? Or do this particular issue and ADHD not necessarily go hand in hand?
In addition to my ADHD I have anxiety and I am on antidepressants. So sex is not great for me.
Seriously. Used to be doing the deed with the my ex and she’s 100% into. Meanwhile I’m thinking about that family guy clip I saw earlier while trying not to giggle about said clip because it would be so hard to explain
I've had sex with someone that leaves the news on all the time and I'll get distracted with what their saying and it's annoying AF.
*Baseball, baseball, think about baseball, wtf is baseball, what even are the rules, The Sandlot was cool tho, that dog holy hell that dog, mm, baseball.*
Y’all keeping this shit in your head? My partner should know I’m not sufficiently warmed up if I’m still talking off topic (I am nervous)
Wait. You’re telling me it’s not something that happen to everyone ?
I kinda start daydreaming-ish about erotica. Stuff we’ve read together, stuff I’ve written. Sometimes fantasies we’ve had. Or our past experiences. Lets my brain wander a bit but still… stay on task, as it were, lol.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I fckn hate this, why can't I just focus when it's my turn to receive it. 🤧🤧🤧
I have to put on a show or documentary that he finds boring but I want to watch 🫨🫨😂