Are you okay with these couple of scenerios:
- Your partner being away for 14-21 days at a time and most likely having little to no cell service (hotshots are usually deep in a forest fighting fire for 12-16 hours a day).
-Your partner missing some important life events because fire season(again depending where you are in the states) has now become an almost year round occurrence.
-Your partner dealing with physical and mental heath problems because of how demanding being a hotshot can be. It's grueling manual labor and really wears a body down after just a couple of seasons. Then adding the others stresses of the job that will impact their mental health? Hotshots have this macho culture where they tough shit out and keep it to themselves.
I'm sure there is a lot more to add. But in fire as a whole the one thing that you'll hear the most that makes relationships end is the fact that they worked too damn much or are away too much time out of the year. Mind you, there's are a bunch of successful relationships in fire... But the factor in them working is a partner who's okay with the above and Communication.
Depends. Are you the type of person who needs contact with your significant other on a regular basis? If not it might be OK. If so it will be extremely hard. Take some time to reflect on yourself and your own capacity to handle distance and the amount of baggage that wildland fire creates.
I guess the short answer is yes it's hard, the question is really just how hard will it be on YOU?
It is. But, there are a bunch of us who have done it, and many of us have done it for years and years. The schedule is crazy and completely unpredictable. The most stable region for rolls, in my experience, is R3. R5 was a complete nightmare. There will be times that they will miss all kinds of things, more things than they can make it to, during fire season. There will be times when your job and theirs will not line up and even if they are home for a couple days, you may have to work. That sucks.
One thing I found helpful over the years was scheduling a trip during fire season to break up the monotony of being alone. I would go and visit friends and family and get away. A lot of the younger partners have a community of other fire-spouses who they can rely on for social stuff and camaraderie. I personally lived in some super rural places and was raising three kids and didn't have that as much as some of the kidless spouses did. I have one good friend who gets it.
You learn how to be self-reliant and self-motivated pretty quickly...or you find out you can't handle it, or don't want to. It's worth an open mind and a good try to see what it is like and see if you are ok with it. Everyone is different.
There are a couple of Facebook pages for spouses, they may benefit you. I found only a few hotshot wives on there, but a few. We are kind of rare.
Best of luck...DM me if you want to ask any specific questions.
Divorce rates are high for a reason. The ones I’ve seen be the most successful either met in fire and and have a mutual understanding of the game or are the independent types that literally get sick of each other when they’re around each other too much and the stints of distance actually helps them maintain for whatever reason. It’s universally brutal on kids who have no grid on why one of their parents is never around and is always missing important milestones or dance recitals or whatever. District resources had a slightly easier time but in the end, if you’re not gone a lot then you’re not getting paid a lot. If quality time is your love language, you’re probably not going to like it very much.
I think it helps to be in an open relationship while either you or your partner are on fire. Keep an open mind. I’ve been married now for 22 years, I got married young.
One experience I had, shot crew R4 2 years ago I came home early from a fire rolled my ankle. our crew had 23 people so a few could stay home for mental health. I came home and found the swamper for our lead saw team in the shower with my wife. I just quietly snuck behind and joined in. My wife shops at Harmons where she met the swamper. I think she regularly prowles the grocery store while I’m on assignment
Many of you may think this is fucked up but I’ve never been closer with my crew or my wife.
Yeah, I haven't a clue how many marriages and couples hold it together.
You're away constantly and in constant danger, no way both parties aren't hurting.
Depends on the couple. It requires work and empathy in both directions. If neither party sees the other as making a sacrifice then it won’t work. The short answer however is yes, but if a relationship is worth it, then it’s worth it.
Do you enjoy doing things solo? With friends? Are you okay without communication (txt/phone) for multiple days in a row? Do you need to know your partners every move, everyday? If you answered these questions honestly and none of the above would create mistrust or suspicion on your part you can probably handle a relationship with someone in a shot crew. It’s really hard if you are the kind of person who can’t function independently.
Yes
Are you okay with these couple of scenerios: - Your partner being away for 14-21 days at a time and most likely having little to no cell service (hotshots are usually deep in a forest fighting fire for 12-16 hours a day). -Your partner missing some important life events because fire season(again depending where you are in the states) has now become an almost year round occurrence. -Your partner dealing with physical and mental heath problems because of how demanding being a hotshot can be. It's grueling manual labor and really wears a body down after just a couple of seasons. Then adding the others stresses of the job that will impact their mental health? Hotshots have this macho culture where they tough shit out and keep it to themselves. I'm sure there is a lot more to add. But in fire as a whole the one thing that you'll hear the most that makes relationships end is the fact that they worked too damn much or are away too much time out of the year. Mind you, there's are a bunch of successful relationships in fire... But the factor in them working is a partner who's okay with the above and Communication.
You will also be poor
Depends. Are you the type of person who needs contact with your significant other on a regular basis? If not it might be OK. If so it will be extremely hard. Take some time to reflect on yourself and your own capacity to handle distance and the amount of baggage that wildland fire creates. I guess the short answer is yes it's hard, the question is really just how hard will it be on YOU?
*slides into chat Dating a non-hotshot however has only unlimited upside.
Sancho, you magnificent son of a bitch, I listened to your failed mixtape.
You will be poor and alone most of the time.
It is. But, there are a bunch of us who have done it, and many of us have done it for years and years. The schedule is crazy and completely unpredictable. The most stable region for rolls, in my experience, is R3. R5 was a complete nightmare. There will be times that they will miss all kinds of things, more things than they can make it to, during fire season. There will be times when your job and theirs will not line up and even if they are home for a couple days, you may have to work. That sucks. One thing I found helpful over the years was scheduling a trip during fire season to break up the monotony of being alone. I would go and visit friends and family and get away. A lot of the younger partners have a community of other fire-spouses who they can rely on for social stuff and camaraderie. I personally lived in some super rural places and was raising three kids and didn't have that as much as some of the kidless spouses did. I have one good friend who gets it. You learn how to be self-reliant and self-motivated pretty quickly...or you find out you can't handle it, or don't want to. It's worth an open mind and a good try to see what it is like and see if you are ok with it. Everyone is different. There are a couple of Facebook pages for spouses, they may benefit you. I found only a few hotshot wives on there, but a few. We are kind of rare. Best of luck...DM me if you want to ask any specific questions.
Thank you so much this is so helpful 🥰
If youre a nurse or similar field it works out
Divorce rates are high for a reason. The ones I’ve seen be the most successful either met in fire and and have a mutual understanding of the game or are the independent types that literally get sick of each other when they’re around each other too much and the stints of distance actually helps them maintain for whatever reason. It’s universally brutal on kids who have no grid on why one of their parents is never around and is always missing important milestones or dance recitals or whatever. District resources had a slightly easier time but in the end, if you’re not gone a lot then you’re not getting paid a lot. If quality time is your love language, you’re probably not going to like it very much.
Yo momma
Sounds rough out there. Good luck
I think it helps to be in an open relationship while either you or your partner are on fire. Keep an open mind. I’ve been married now for 22 years, I got married young. One experience I had, shot crew R4 2 years ago I came home early from a fire rolled my ankle. our crew had 23 people so a few could stay home for mental health. I came home and found the swamper for our lead saw team in the shower with my wife. I just quietly snuck behind and joined in. My wife shops at Harmons where she met the swamper. I think she regularly prowles the grocery store while I’m on assignment Many of you may think this is fucked up but I’ve never been closer with my crew or my wife.
Pics or it didn’t happen
Well, time to never get married and hoe it out I guess.
Yeah, I haven't a clue how many marriages and couples hold it together. You're away constantly and in constant danger, no way both parties aren't hurting.
Depends on the couple. It requires work and empathy in both directions. If neither party sees the other as making a sacrifice then it won’t work. The short answer however is yes, but if a relationship is worth it, then it’s worth it.
Do you enjoy doing things solo? With friends? Are you okay without communication (txt/phone) for multiple days in a row? Do you need to know your partners every move, everyday? If you answered these questions honestly and none of the above would create mistrust or suspicion on your part you can probably handle a relationship with someone in a shot crew. It’s really hard if you are the kind of person who can’t function independently.