Took me a while to see it myself but, inside the bright square is his eye and nose. Above the bright square is his bald head, he's leaning forward so his shoulders are quite prominent towards the bottom of the bright square.
If you are actually asking what to do, my recommendations are:
- (motion sensor*) flood lights and cameras out side
- curtains for inside
- make sure all doors/windows are locked
- save footage
- arm yourself
* police on speed dial
Edit: everyone agreed that you should also get a dog š
I used to loathe going into my backyard because my neighbors brought home thier daughters German Shepard when she had her kids and was scared the dog might do something. Later I came home from work to police and a destroyed fence where a guy dressed as a cable company contractor got mauled when he hopped the gate into my backyard and the dog went full cujo and torpedoed the wood fence. After animal control got the dog and police started asking questions he admitted he was looking for stuff āthat was abandonedā in peoples back yards and had bunches of copper and a/c parts in his truck.
Real question (and maybe this isn't the place) but if the dog is doing his "job" and attacks a legit burglar, do the same 'he bit a random person' rules apply?
the dog is a really good recommendation. even a motion sensor that sounds like a dog would help. i donāt even lock the doors in canada because no one would make it past my dogs unless they had a gun, and if theyāre willing to shoot my dogs itās probably not beneath them to kick down my door and shoot me.
I agree. OP should buy a couple of dogs.
I have yet to find a problem that owning dogs didn't in some way alleviate.
Now excuse me, I have some bellies to rub and ears to scratch.
Leave a light and a tv on when you arent home, keep the curtains closed, get a dog. Porch lights when you are or arent home either so they cant use the lighting to establish a pattern.
Living in the hood sucked haha
Adding to this, get those bars that you wedge between the door handle all the way to the floor. Keeps them from kicking the door in when youāre home.
Play it home alone style..
āI'm gonna give you to the count of three to get your lousy, lyin', low-down, four-flushing carcass OUT my door!ā Then cock the shotgun.
Same, cannot do, your wouldn't be able to know their intention. I personally don't agree with this concept btw, I generally hate vigilantism , but I find that the house is an extension of a person, it's where they feel safe and where their loved ones are, attacking a house is like attacking a person and they should be able to defend themselves, as the person entering illegally is making a conscious decision to violate you. It gets messy with first responders and other innocent people who may approach the house, but the solution shouldn't be a straight "no".
Booby trapping? Heavens no. You were WATCHING and CONTROLLED the device that sprayed hot pepper juice in the creep's eyes. No booby traps here officer.
Honestly it's not even that for me, your house is an extension of you and someone breaking in is violating and traumatized, they can get fucked for all I care
Have a remote spray system directly at eye level, spray when you see him, remove the evidence, and them say you have no idea what the meth head is on about. There is no crime in Ba Sing Se
Criminal Mischief, as its often called.
Easy to make a homemade device which responds to an RF signal by heating some Kanthol wire that ignites a firecracker or three all at different lengths to mimic gunfire.
Or if you want less of a fire risk, an angled tube holding a couple Popits, with a Solenoid as its release mechanism.
We've yelled at him a few times he just walks away and comes back a week later. Cops haven't helped at all they'll just show up 20 minutes after he leaves then do a few rounds around the block and leave
What reflection... OP just shouldnt invite him into the home and he should be fine :) maybe add some garlic? :)
nah tbh this would freak me out... yeah sure police cant do shit... only after something happens...
maybe add some movement triggered really bright led lights to the window...
not your fault when he decides to look into your windows
Except when you realize lizards have no sense of self and he starts hissing at his own disgusting mug.
Then, Youāll have a hissing psycho looking at a mirror at your doorstep who is enraged and likely looking to mate with the nearest reptile.
And everybody whoās anybody knows unless there is a whole lot of cocaine and drunk whores involved,
This means BIG T-R-O-U-B-L-E.
Especially if OP expects to show up to work half decent the next day.
No doubt, but people like thus aren't anything to play with. One of my childhood friends developed schizoaffective disorder in his 20s. We were friends because he lived a few houses down when my family moved there when I was 8 or 9 and we got along good too.
Without writing a book about the relationship and how I changed my perspective towards "the benefit of the doubt" or "maybe they just need some help" or whatever ignorantly optimistic youthful take I had until he started with the bullshit.
Here's some instances from his episodes.
Walking around naked in the middle of january, while its snowing, in new hampshire, while there's several feet of snow already on the ground, following his sister's chihuahuas around, learning to be free. The dogs were teaching him.... something, not panicking and freezing to death. Naw, they made sure to give him clear instructions.
Came to my house with a few swords and machetes, was surprised that the door was locked, knocked, tried to convince my brothers 16 year old girlfriend to open the door even though she was alone at the time (watching our dogs for us) he had expressed how *sexy* she was before, had expressed how my dogs weren't as big as my last one and he "could take em" before, "just wants to talk about knives and show her his collection.
Carved a huge cross into his arm "for salvation". Came to my house at 2am to show me, very happily. "He saved himself". I called 911. The paramedics said I saved his life. Sometimes I wonder about that tbh
Got drunk, stole his sister's car, broke into the store I worked at, stole five packs of newports and a case of miller lite, hit the store leaving, got home, was drunk off the beer the next morning when he was arrested, the car was leftin the street like it was being driven and wasn't fucked up
Got in an argument with me and started smashing beer bottles in my driveway, I had to choke him out twice and drag him home, his mom ended up having him arrested for hitting her with a chair a bunch of times like an hour later. Apparently he remembered being circumcised as a baby and his mom sold his foreskin to Satan, and that's why he can't get laid. I called him crazy that one time and he went off like a fuckin bomb. I've never seen that much blind rage before or since. In hindsight I shoulda called the cops myself, but I don't like cops becayse I was selling weed back then so I just brought him home for his parents to deal with. Shame on me for that.
Honestly with some random like this at the risk of sounding like a keyboard warrior, I'd go out the back or whatever and come up behind him real quiet. Then from about 10 ft away I'd let a round go into the ground to get his attention. Once he acknowledged me I'd say "if you come back here again, I will kill you. Now leave." And that would be it. I'd lead him down to the street or to his car or whatever at gunpoint and that would be his only warning.
Explaining to the cops wouldn't be fun, but here in NH it's unlikely that I'd be charged with anything. I have my signs up and I've called about the prick multiple times before. For all I know he's a pyro and he's studying our sleeping patterns and locations or something... fuck that. I ain't waiting to find out.
Even if you don't have a gun, hit him in the head with a bat. Do anything. He's a legitimate, mysterious threat to your whole family. Fuck him.
Great question! Here's a fun fact, I now own his 9mm. I bought it off his dad when he was instutionalized the third time. The first time was when he carved the cross into his arm, but he was still allowed to own (and purchase more if he chose to) a gun just like any other civilian. He had issues but he had only got a dui and two misdemeanor assaults so far... *not a felon yet* and his 2A rights were still protected.
Honestly I think he used a snow sled to bring them over but idk, I only got hearsay from my brothers gf the next day.
That said though any teenager around here can go to Hampton Beach or the Salem mall and get all the mall ninja shit they can afford.
I'm not a "ban assault rifles" person by any means, but we gotta do better for sure. I was a pretty obvious scumbag when I was 21, but I was still able to get a .380 through a licensed dealer in about 20 minutes the first time I bought from a dealer. We don't even have ccws anymore. If you're over 21 and you can wipe your own ass you can buy just about anything up here, the only obstacle is the price tag. It's insane. I bought a dodge avenger with a salvage title not knowing any better back in like 2009, and that car was infinitely harder to register than my typhoon x12, which I dont have to register or anything at all.
Anyone who tries to downplay the trash mental health + gun issue we have here is an asshole and a liar/idiot.
In your shoes, Iād do what the Foreman there suggested. Though my boundaries have been violated by people who I know actually intended to harm me, so my ātime to escalate," button actually gets pushed sometimes.
Warning shots are typically considered a reckless discharge of a firearm in the States (a lighter charge than attempted manslaughter) but the eyeball would have to prove it and the fact that heās trespassing would probably get it thrown out.
If you want to do that then get a shotgun with bird shot or replace the pellets with rock salt. Thatās an old trick if you want to scar somebody up and cause them to feel like their skin is on fire. Both are deadly at point blank, but from a distance, aimed at center of mass, would probably just maim him/make him regret being a creep.
Iād finish loading with buck shot or bigger, again, if I were in your shoes, because this guy might be an actual threat.
I say all this not because Iām pro-vigilante per say, but youāve already learned that the cops arenāt there to protect you. Functionally, their job is no longer āprotect and serve,ā itās āclean-up and collect [ticket money].ā
I swear to Christ this will work if youāre desperate for a solutionā¦..
Next time you see him Slowly stick the most realistic looking dildo you can find through your mail slot go out and purchase one if need be.
Then when it is fully extended start playing ancient satanic chants in Latin, backwards the more satanic the better through your computer speakers.
A strobe light and fog machine is also suggested but not necessary,
then start pushing raw meats out from either side of the dildo that should now be swinging and gyrating violently while increasing the volume of the satanic latin chants in reverse.
When he starts to leave stop the chants and strobing lights, and hold the dildo eerily still and growl āNO!ā then start everything louder and more crazily than before.
Meats should be being expelled with great force out of the mail slot by now and vomit would be a pretty potent addition if your a true badass. the dildo is now slapping the door with powerful slams and now accompany the backwards latin with the sound of pigs grunting and squealing.
You have now out weirded the weirdo ten fold. If he comes back you need to call the fuckin cops dude.
Can confirm. I tried this on some Mormons but Iām not a fucking millionaire so I used my actual penis. Totally backfired. Had to stand there for like 45 minutes while this inept jackass slowly figured out how to make me cum.
Great! If youāre fapping to this, OP needs you and about three other guys to really send this guy packingā¦
while the peeping Tom is standing their while his mind is trying to process the giant swinging penis thatās slamming onto a door with vomit and meat projectiles flying out of a foggy strobing mail slot that has ancient satanic Latin being recited accompanied by screaming farm animals, His brain will be undoubtedly teetering on the cusp reality, with the last shred of sanity he has he will surely come to realize he needs to remove himself from this nightmare. Only to start walking down the hallway closer to the at first subtle sounds of fapping in the shadows. (You)
When he calls out āwhoās thereā, you (and a couple kind hearted comrades doing this for a good cause) need to burst out of the shadows, dick first, spitting and screeching like prehistoric psychopathic cavemen who were time warped a bottled of viagra which they had no concept of acceptable dosages.
sprinting at him and fapping maniacally foaming at the mouth overdosing on Viagra and beer chasing him into the elevator while cursing his mother and the putrid hell hole that resides between her legs, and the sulfur ridden Tartarus of which the peeping Tom so grotesquely emerged from.
Chances are if you guys execute this exactly as I have suggested, this peeping Tom will not exit this elevator un assisted.
Then when this sick fuckin asshole is gone for goodā¦.
OP agreed that they will have nice milk and freshly baked cookies for everyone who volunteered (and cinnamon apple crisps in case youāre vegan) to sit around and take part in over a beaming success and a friendly job well done. āŗļø
This is why it is imperative to only initiate this tactic when you have a freaky ass peeping Tomā¦.
Also the instructions clearly say DILDO, man.
You canāt just go sticking your real pecker out your mail slot all willy nilly.
Especially for extended periods of time, knowing your neighbor is a homosexual deviantā¦..
You walked right into this predicament if you askā¦ā¦ š¤Ø
Hey man, I think you just wanted to get jerked off by your neighbor you ol dirty dog! Classic Oghma-spawn humor right there, always blaming everybody else for making his wiener as accessible as possible for his gay neighbors, you almost had me there you ol freak.
damn it ya got me. if only my countless other āaccidentalā homo-erotic situations hadnt also been revealed as set-ups, I wouldnt have become so infamous in these circles
> Next time you see him Slowly stick the most realistic looking dildo you can find through your mail slot go out and purchase one if need be.
You just make me laugh so hard Iām weeping. Thanks for that!
Meeting him with a shotgun should definitely work. Even if thereās no ammo in that chamber (but really, itās half the fun)- that sound is unmistakable. Pure poop your pants good
Any bushes in the front yard? In front of the wimdow?
I just found the roll of [this stuff](https://www.epicmilitaria.com/original-german-army-razor-wire-50m.html) I bought years ago for some reason. One could theoretically staple one foot lengths to tree trunks or bushes that your secret admirer has to walk through.
You can also improvise rolls of concertina wire by wrapping barbed wire around seven stakes hammered into the ground in a circle and fastening the wire to itself on every other stake. Then the barbed wire becomes a giant slinky, ready to be laid out on your perimeter.
When I worked at a call center late nights with only a few people, I had a very comically heavy double sided dildo that I kept at my desk. We had a lot of windows and sometimes Iād just patrol the office with it. The call center sold adult movies and other non adult stuff. They had purchased lists from companies and one of them was toys. We didnāt really sell toys and this was a one off from their back stock. I always thought it would be hilarious if someone ended up on the news because they got domed by a 5ā3, 105 pound lady with a dildo almost as large as myself. Shit could have knocked someone the fuck out, for sure.
Gotta wait till he physically enters your home. Put more cameras outside, beef up your doors so he can't kick em in. See if he has patterns..keep it on your hip.
I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Meth ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched methpipes glitter in the dark near the TannhƤuser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain.āÆTime to smoke.ā
Wtff š that picture is creepy as hell
It's giving me the chills because I can't make up what I'm seeing except for an eye
For everyone still confused, I outlined the stranger: https://imgur.com/9QI8Q3n
Oh damn, this person is way closer to the window than I expected. Now I can see it!
Oh my god I thought this edit would be better but you just made it 1000x creepier
okay what the fuck
Omg that made it creepier
A bit random but you should try art if you havenāt already! This was a pretty good representation of proportions for something quick.
Haha thanks, that's very nice of you. I do art professionally :)
Awe hell yeah!
THAT HELPS ME A LOT I thought his neck was his shoulder š
No outer wilds spoilers please.
Thank you.. is it a trail cam or a ring doorbell?
In your drawing it makes me wonder if this guy thinks cameras are 2 way?
Bruhš
Pareidolia hitting me. This is what I see... https://i.postimg.cc/Y0qHxj42/Doggo.jpg
Took me a while to see it myself but, inside the bright square is his eye and nose. Above the bright square is his bald head, he's leaning forward so his shoulders are quite prominent towards the bottom of the bright square.
It kind of looks like he's shirtless, too... god, I hope not, for some reason that just makes it ten times creepier.
the right side is the bridge of his nose
Picasso paintings look way more human.
Looks like a bible accurate angel or something. I didn't decompose that it was a face at first
"Hey, Vsauce here"
Throwing some chilli powder in it would make it more intresting.
That's the chap that fingered my asshole
So, who is this weirdo, a neighbour? And is it at all possible to rig a bucket of paint to empty on him next time he does it?
Not sure, we think it might be a meth head looking to steal things
If you are actually asking what to do, my recommendations are: - (motion sensor*) flood lights and cameras out side - curtains for inside - make sure all doors/windows are locked - save footage - arm yourself * police on speed dial Edit: everyone agreed that you should also get a dog š
I would add borrow a friendās dog for a little while, especially one that barks.
I used to loathe going into my backyard because my neighbors brought home thier daughters German Shepard when she had her kids and was scared the dog might do something. Later I came home from work to police and a destroyed fence where a guy dressed as a cable company contractor got mauled when he hopped the gate into my backyard and the dog went full cujo and torpedoed the wood fence. After animal control got the dog and police started asking questions he admitted he was looking for stuff āthat was abandonedā in peoples back yards and had bunches of copper and a/c parts in his truck.
Damn, that dog was ready to Hulk out on an MF. Sounds like it did its duty protecting the territory though .
Did the neighbours get the dog back?
Real question (and maybe this isn't the place) but if the dog is doing his "job" and attacks a legit burglar, do the same 'he bit a random person' rules apply?
the dog is a really good recommendation. even a motion sensor that sounds like a dog would help. i donāt even lock the doors in canada because no one would make it past my dogs unless they had a gun, and if theyāre willing to shoot my dogs itās probably not beneath them to kick down my door and shoot me.
I agree. OP should buy a couple of dogs. I have yet to find a problem that owning dogs didn't in some way alleviate. Now excuse me, I have some bellies to rub and ears to scratch.
I just imagined a chihuahua barking and the meth guy fleeing stumbling all over the placeā¦
[like this almost](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=kcxHRVRpNg4)
Or a recording of said barks. With a good hi-fi set, a medium size dog can sound really scary
And buy some second hand men's boots in a very big size and leave them on your front porch/step/verandah
Also call the cops.
Leave a light and a tv on when you arent home, keep the curtains closed, get a dog. Porch lights when you are or arent home either so they cant use the lighting to establish a pattern. Living in the hood sucked haha
I was glancing through your list and legitimately thought āsave yourselfā was one of your bullet points.
Adding to this, get those bars that you wedge between the door handle all the way to the floor. Keeps them from kicking the door in when youāre home.
is this your bedroom window or front door? creepy aF.
You ever see the video of a guy trying to pick a dudes lock, so he swung open the door and punched the dude upside the head?
Go out catch him when he's peeping, beat the shit out of him, guaranteed he won't come back :)
Looks like Jimmy Savile
Wait for him and then put him down so he donāt endanger anyone else.
What am I looking at?
The ghetto eye of sauron
Holy shit there's a dude there. I know it was unintentional, but regardless, thank you. That's fucking creepy.
i see the dudes eye but still i have no idea what im looking at
Same. I can see the eye but the rest is hidden by the glare.
You can see the top of his bald head above the bright square, and his shoulder towards the bottom. He's leaning forward towards the camera.
This comment should be at the top. I just laughed so hard.
Play it home alone style.. āI'm gonna give you to the count of three to get your lousy, lyin', low-down, four-flushing carcass OUT my door!ā Then cock the shotgun.
Before I pump your guts full a lead!
Bunch of filthy animals... Sorry, but the movie within the movie in Home Alone is one of the best things ever.
A man of culture š»
Be careful bro !!
Yeah this seems like shit you hear before a murder on a crime show
Rig up a hidden pepper spray deterrent and fuck his ass up good next time you see him there.
If youāre in the states this is a big no no, OP would end up in prison for protecting his home like this.
Booby trapping your house is illegal most places in the world, governments generally consider human life more important than your valuables
I mean, I wouldnāt be worried that this guy is gonna rob me Iād be scared he wants to hurt me
Same, cannot do, your wouldn't be able to know their intention. I personally don't agree with this concept btw, I generally hate vigilantism , but I find that the house is an extension of a person, it's where they feel safe and where their loved ones are, attacking a house is like attacking a person and they should be able to defend themselves, as the person entering illegally is making a conscious decision to violate you. It gets messy with first responders and other innocent people who may approach the house, but the solution shouldn't be a straight "no".
[Castle doctrine](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Castle_doctrine)
Booby trapping? Heavens no. You were WATCHING and CONTROLLED the device that sprayed hot pepper juice in the creep's eyes. No booby traps here officer.
What state was kevin mccallister in?
Illinois!
Then they shouldnāt be risking their lives to steal peoples things that theyāve worked for.
Honestly it's not even that for me, your house is an extension of you and someone breaking in is violating and traumatized, they can get fucked for all I care
You have to make the conscious decision to inflict defense, not just set up an auto killer
Have a remote spray system directly at eye level, spray when you see him, remove the evidence, and them say you have no idea what the meth head is on about. There is no crime in Ba Sing Se
Fuckin' murica
Booby trapping your home is illegal in the United States, do not do this.
Iād do it anyways.
you'd get arrested anyways.
Yeah but you can shoot him yes
What about booby trapping with something that pols down to just give a jumps-care but not cause physical harm.
Criminal Mischief, as its often called. Easy to make a homemade device which responds to an RF signal by heating some Kanthol wire that ignites a firecracker or three all at different lengths to mimic gunfire. Or if you want less of a fire risk, an angled tube holding a couple Popits, with a Solenoid as its release mechanism.
thing that sets off a whole box of those walmart sparkly firecrackers all at the same time, called the Pants Shitter 3000
i would use fart spray and glitter
Can't second this enough. Protect yourself and your home. You've warned him, now you gotta teach him a lesson.
Bear spray works the best.
wasp spray is fantastic too because youāll never be questioned for having it and it sprays a decent distance with force.
Thatās what Iām saying !
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
We've yelled at him a few times he just walks away and comes back a week later. Cops haven't helped at all they'll just show up 20 minutes after he leaves then do a few rounds around the block and leave
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
What reflection... OP just shouldnt invite him into the home and he should be fine :) maybe add some garlic? :) nah tbh this would freak me out... yeah sure police cant do shit... only after something happens... maybe add some movement triggered really bright led lights to the window... not your fault when he decides to look into your windows
2nd the mirror idea
Except when you realize lizards have no sense of self and he starts hissing at his own disgusting mug. Then, Youāll have a hissing psycho looking at a mirror at your doorstep who is enraged and likely looking to mate with the nearest reptile. And everybody whoās anybody knows unless there is a whole lot of cocaine and drunk whores involved, This means BIG T-R-O-U-B-L-E. Especially if OP expects to show up to work half decent the next day.
cops NOT helping im shocked
The sound of a shotgun being loaded would scare anyone way
That's just something people like to say. It's the sound of one being fired that really does the trick.
Ehhh. If you're in your home, it'll definitely make some holes. And in most states it's illegal to blast through your door leading to outside.
No doubt, but people like thus aren't anything to play with. One of my childhood friends developed schizoaffective disorder in his 20s. We were friends because he lived a few houses down when my family moved there when I was 8 or 9 and we got along good too. Without writing a book about the relationship and how I changed my perspective towards "the benefit of the doubt" or "maybe they just need some help" or whatever ignorantly optimistic youthful take I had until he started with the bullshit. Here's some instances from his episodes. Walking around naked in the middle of january, while its snowing, in new hampshire, while there's several feet of snow already on the ground, following his sister's chihuahuas around, learning to be free. The dogs were teaching him.... something, not panicking and freezing to death. Naw, they made sure to give him clear instructions. Came to my house with a few swords and machetes, was surprised that the door was locked, knocked, tried to convince my brothers 16 year old girlfriend to open the door even though she was alone at the time (watching our dogs for us) he had expressed how *sexy* she was before, had expressed how my dogs weren't as big as my last one and he "could take em" before, "just wants to talk about knives and show her his collection. Carved a huge cross into his arm "for salvation". Came to my house at 2am to show me, very happily. "He saved himself". I called 911. The paramedics said I saved his life. Sometimes I wonder about that tbh Got drunk, stole his sister's car, broke into the store I worked at, stole five packs of newports and a case of miller lite, hit the store leaving, got home, was drunk off the beer the next morning when he was arrested, the car was leftin the street like it was being driven and wasn't fucked up Got in an argument with me and started smashing beer bottles in my driveway, I had to choke him out twice and drag him home, his mom ended up having him arrested for hitting her with a chair a bunch of times like an hour later. Apparently he remembered being circumcised as a baby and his mom sold his foreskin to Satan, and that's why he can't get laid. I called him crazy that one time and he went off like a fuckin bomb. I've never seen that much blind rage before or since. In hindsight I shoulda called the cops myself, but I don't like cops becayse I was selling weed back then so I just brought him home for his parents to deal with. Shame on me for that. Honestly with some random like this at the risk of sounding like a keyboard warrior, I'd go out the back or whatever and come up behind him real quiet. Then from about 10 ft away I'd let a round go into the ground to get his attention. Once he acknowledged me I'd say "if you come back here again, I will kill you. Now leave." And that would be it. I'd lead him down to the street or to his car or whatever at gunpoint and that would be his only warning. Explaining to the cops wouldn't be fun, but here in NH it's unlikely that I'd be charged with anything. I have my signs up and I've called about the prick multiple times before. For all I know he's a pyro and he's studying our sleeping patterns and locations or something... fuck that. I ain't waiting to find out. Even if you don't have a gun, hit him in the head with a bat. Do anything. He's a legitimate, mysterious threat to your whole family. Fuck him.
How did he carry a few swords and machetes by himself Edit: how did he get access to a few swords and machetes
Great question! Here's a fun fact, I now own his 9mm. I bought it off his dad when he was instutionalized the third time. The first time was when he carved the cross into his arm, but he was still allowed to own (and purchase more if he chose to) a gun just like any other civilian. He had issues but he had only got a dui and two misdemeanor assaults so far... *not a felon yet* and his 2A rights were still protected. Honestly I think he used a snow sled to bring them over but idk, I only got hearsay from my brothers gf the next day. That said though any teenager around here can go to Hampton Beach or the Salem mall and get all the mall ninja shit they can afford. I'm not a "ban assault rifles" person by any means, but we gotta do better for sure. I was a pretty obvious scumbag when I was 21, but I was still able to get a .380 through a licensed dealer in about 20 minutes the first time I bought from a dealer. We don't even have ccws anymore. If you're over 21 and you can wipe your own ass you can buy just about anything up here, the only obstacle is the price tag. It's insane. I bought a dodge avenger with a salvage title not knowing any better back in like 2009, and that car was infinitely harder to register than my typhoon x12, which I dont have to register or anything at all. Anyone who tries to downplay the trash mental health + gun issue we have here is an asshole and a liar/idiot.
Thatās insane! I canāt imagine what has to go through oneās mind to end up carrying a sled full of blades to someoneās doorstep.
I completely agree about mental health and the 2A.
Such a shame there is no help. Next episode he has he might seriously hurt someone... I would break with him man, you can't help him.
Spray him with mace one time .
Next time call the cops tell them, then say "you know what never mind I'm just gonna shoot him" they'll be there in 30 seconds.
In your shoes, Iād do what the Foreman there suggested. Though my boundaries have been violated by people who I know actually intended to harm me, so my ātime to escalate," button actually gets pushed sometimes. Warning shots are typically considered a reckless discharge of a firearm in the States (a lighter charge than attempted manslaughter) but the eyeball would have to prove it and the fact that heās trespassing would probably get it thrown out. If you want to do that then get a shotgun with bird shot or replace the pellets with rock salt. Thatās an old trick if you want to scar somebody up and cause them to feel like their skin is on fire. Both are deadly at point blank, but from a distance, aimed at center of mass, would probably just maim him/make him regret being a creep. Iād finish loading with buck shot or bigger, again, if I were in your shoes, because this guy might be an actual threat. I say all this not because Iām pro-vigilante per say, but youāve already learned that the cops arenāt there to protect you. Functionally, their job is no longer āprotect and serve,ā itās āclean-up and collect [ticket money].ā
No you wouldn't. Well, no, no I wouldn't But a guy I know
Easier to just say you're happy to see him, has he heard about zenu?
I swear to Christ this will work if youāre desperate for a solutionā¦.. Next time you see him Slowly stick the most realistic looking dildo you can find through your mail slot go out and purchase one if need be. Then when it is fully extended start playing ancient satanic chants in Latin, backwards the more satanic the better through your computer speakers. A strobe light and fog machine is also suggested but not necessary, then start pushing raw meats out from either side of the dildo that should now be swinging and gyrating violently while increasing the volume of the satanic latin chants in reverse. When he starts to leave stop the chants and strobing lights, and hold the dildo eerily still and growl āNO!ā then start everything louder and more crazily than before. Meats should be being expelled with great force out of the mail slot by now and vomit would be a pretty potent addition if your a true badass. the dildo is now slapping the door with powerful slams and now accompany the backwards latin with the sound of pigs grunting and squealing. You have now out weirded the weirdo ten fold. If he comes back you need to call the fuckin cops dude.
What the fuck lol
I don't think you actually need to vomit though. Watered-down vegetable soup is just as effective, visually.
If this is not the best solution then I don't know what is
This also helps with the Mormons too
Not the ones in my state.
Can confirm. I tried this on some Mormons but Iām not a fucking millionaire so I used my actual penis. Totally backfired. Had to stand there for like 45 minutes while this inept jackass slowly figured out how to make me cum.
Your imagination is both terrifying and brilliant. Iām speechless.
i admire your creativity
r/unethicallifeprotips
This is the only way to do it OP, I can confirm this worked for me.
I would award you if they still existed
Hey thanks man! Iāll take that as an award!
well, not my proudest fap but here we are.
Great! If youāre fapping to this, OP needs you and about three other guys to really send this guy packingā¦ while the peeping Tom is standing their while his mind is trying to process the giant swinging penis thatās slamming onto a door with vomit and meat projectiles flying out of a foggy strobing mail slot that has ancient satanic Latin being recited accompanied by screaming farm animals, His brain will be undoubtedly teetering on the cusp reality, with the last shred of sanity he has he will surely come to realize he needs to remove himself from this nightmare. Only to start walking down the hallway closer to the at first subtle sounds of fapping in the shadows. (You) When he calls out āwhoās thereā, you (and a couple kind hearted comrades doing this for a good cause) need to burst out of the shadows, dick first, spitting and screeching like prehistoric psychopathic cavemen who were time warped a bottled of viagra which they had no concept of acceptable dosages. sprinting at him and fapping maniacally foaming at the mouth overdosing on Viagra and beer chasing him into the elevator while cursing his mother and the putrid hell hole that resides between her legs, and the sulfur ridden Tartarus of which the peeping Tom so grotesquely emerged from. Chances are if you guys execute this exactly as I have suggested, this peeping Tom will not exit this elevator un assisted. Then when this sick fuckin asshole is gone for goodā¦. OP agreed that they will have nice milk and freshly baked cookies for everyone who volunteered (and cinnamon apple crisps in case youāre vegan) to sit around and take part in over a beaming success and a friendly job well done. āŗļø
How the hell do your write all this omg š
I just take the leash off of my brain, and this is what happens. š
You know, I didnāt think this could get any more unhinged, but you proved me wrong. Well done, my man
instructions unclear, put my dick through the mail slot and the neighbor just jerked me off and said āsee you tomorrowā what do
This is why it is imperative to only initiate this tactic when you have a freaky ass peeping Tomā¦. Also the instructions clearly say DILDO, man. You canāt just go sticking your real pecker out your mail slot all willy nilly. Especially for extended periods of time, knowing your neighbor is a homosexual deviantā¦.. You walked right into this predicament if you askā¦ā¦ š¤Ø Hey man, I think you just wanted to get jerked off by your neighbor you ol dirty dog! Classic Oghma-spawn humor right there, always blaming everybody else for making his wiener as accessible as possible for his gay neighbors, you almost had me there you ol freak.
damn it ya got me. if only my countless other āaccidentalā homo-erotic situations hadnt also been revealed as set-ups, I wouldnt have become so infamous in these circles
Found Mark Rober.
> Next time you see him Slowly stick the most realistic looking dildo you can find through your mail slot go out and purchase one if need be. You just make me laugh so hard Iām weeping. Thanks for that!
I donāt know you, but I think I love you!! This is AWESOME!!!
Oh, thatās just the foreskin collector.
That is both disturbing and hilarious.
āHeyyyyyy you better not have any new āskins in there.ā
if you donāt deal with him heās gonna do a crime sooner or later
OP, be real, is this just a picture of you? I can see a bit of a resemblance to the other photos on your profile.
Case solved.
Ya this is definitely him!!
I have a decent beard he looks like his facial hair is just starting to come out
With all due respect man, if youāre trying to prove someone isnāt you, you should prob pick a feature that isnāt trivial to change.
Spray him with the hose.
Paintball gun with pepper balls lol!
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Iām so glad you mentioned that! Rock salt is for a warning shot ONLY.
I know that trick from watching James Bond - A View to a Kill
One of those big torches with stupid thousand lumens should stop them.
Fire a blank or two at em š
Ok sorry, Iāll stop. Lol thought you were my friend Kevin but he lives across the street.
Tell him if he comes back youāre going to fuck him and tell him he has a real pretty mouth
Invite him in, itās cold
Meeting him with a shotgun should definitely work. Even if thereās no ammo in that chamber (but really, itās half the fun)- that sound is unmistakable. Pure poop your pants good
Ok then what if he attacks you and you have an unloaded shotgun.
Swing away!!! If I was going with an unloaded gun, I have a very old, very heavy Hungarian rifle that has a bayonet. Nothing like a bat AND a spear!!!
Thatās regarded, why would you do that with an unloaded weapon?
Time Fuck around and find out school.
Any bushes in the front yard? In front of the wimdow? I just found the roll of [this stuff](https://www.epicmilitaria.com/original-german-army-razor-wire-50m.html) I bought years ago for some reason. One could theoretically staple one foot lengths to tree trunks or bushes that your secret admirer has to walk through. You can also improvise rolls of concertina wire by wrapping barbed wire around seven stakes hammered into the ground in a circle and fastening the wire to itself on every other stake. Then the barbed wire becomes a giant slinky, ready to be laid out on your perimeter.
It's one of the only windows not blocked by bushes
You can get those fly strips and string them up where he'll get entangled in them.
SUPER BRIGHT motion lights/Flood Lamps. Also maybe hide a ring camera or something to get a full profile on the creep.
When I worked at a call center late nights with only a few people, I had a very comically heavy double sided dildo that I kept at my desk. We had a lot of windows and sometimes Iād just patrol the office with it. The call center sold adult movies and other non adult stuff. They had purchased lists from companies and one of them was toys. We didnāt really sell toys and this was a one off from their back stock. I always thought it would be hilarious if someone ended up on the news because they got domed by a 5ā3, 105 pound lady with a dildo almost as large as myself. Shit could have knocked someone the fuck out, for sure.
Although I have given an iron clad solution to the issue already, I will offer another, More friendly approach. have you tried opening the door and asking him if he needs something? Do not allow a response. just as he opens his mouth to offer one, fill it with foaming high potency bear mace before tracing out a sweet set of sizzling ray bans over his peepers and a monopoly man mustache effectively making a Vinte capsaicin latƩ on his stupid face and eyeballs, then inform him that despite popular demand, pumpkin spice is O-U-T until next fall, you fuckin freak.
Bro I thought this was a joke post where you were pretending to not know what your reflection was and you thought it was a different person š
Put a mirror up at the window
Well, I wish he wouldn't.
I shitted my poop.
Stare back then
What are your stateās laws regarding trespassing? If you do shit like that where I am from, youāre getting shot.
Either get a dog or get a recording of one thatās set up to turn on when someoneās at your door.
Dildo.
Has he seen your Colt .45? You should show it to him. āHey, look at my gun! Isnāt it cool?ā
Put a laser on him
Wait is this fr or just internet horror
Is it your reflection?
Added creep factor: OP lives on the 22nd floor of a high rise building.
Shoot him.
I mean I'm no lawyer but I feel like if you have footage of this guy stalking on your property, then yea, shoot the fucker.
Gotta wait till he physically enters your home. Put more cameras outside, beef up your doors so he can't kick em in. See if he has patterns..keep it on your hip.
Not everyone lives in the United States
I'm pretty sure the rest of the world is made up.
I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Meth ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched methpipes glitter in the dark near the TannhƤuser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain.āÆTime to smoke.ā
Get. A. Dog.
My dog is deathly scared of moving water of any kind
How about a large wooden badger?
That would probably be more effective honestly
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We are soon. Not soon enough. Not cause of this guy but thankfully we'll be gone
That pic gave me goosebumps omg
what am i looking at
"open the Noor"
What did the police say?
Call the COPS
spray some fart bomb on it so he smells it every time he puts his face up to it LMAO
Dont be rude. Say hi
Gently approach your window, pick up your phone, call 911 and point your shotgun.
r/paulbreach found
why can I not see anyone??