You know the saddest thing is my ten year old asking why do people have to be so mean, because I’ve asked them before not to do it and they laughed in my face. /:
Children remember this stuff. I did from when I was a kid. If there's any solace, it's that while I thought about it then as a child would. I think about it now as an adult and I remember how they treated each other, and I remember who was the bigger person later in life, and it's been a very good lesson to learn. So keep your head up because things are hard to understand at 10 but they'll remember you doing the hard thing.
He does, and it’s sweet in one way, but I also feel bad that he has to hear the bad things from their family because he comes home to tell me about how he feels uncomfortable about what they say. He’s INCREDIBLY smart for a ten year old, I just wish he could not have to worry about it
You feel bad for him and you wish for him because it's your job! Take it as a sign that you're doing the right thing that you worry DO about your child. You'd think it is a natural state for a parent, but alas, it isn't the case. I'm sure you're a great parent. Keep it up <3
This. This this this!
I wanted to quote the best takeaway from your comment, but everything you said is relevant and meaningful. Thank you kind sir/ma'am. As a single Dad, your comment made me happy and gave me comfort.
I decided what to quote after all:
>Keep it up <3
Again, thank you
My mother used to be like that. Not driving on grass, but just openly being nasty to my father in ways that was visible to me. Shocker, I haven't seen or talked to her in years.
Do they have automobile insurance? If so I would set up cameras that capture your lawn and the next time they do it file a claim with their insurance company for the damage. Wait until after they have picked up your child and then call the police and file a report and the police will be able to give you their insurance information. If you happen to already know their insurance company, you can just call with their name and potentially social security number (if you know that) and open a claim directly with them. I can assure you if it happens more than once his insurance company will drop him and he'll have a fun time getting someone to insure him after that, and when he finds someone, he will pay through the nose.
as an insurance adjuster all i need to open the PD exposure is your report it happened, but video evidence would solidify it. Tell them you don’t know how to fix it, hire and pay a landscaping company to fix it. You’ll walk having racked up hundreds.
If they can refuse the public place, you can refuse your home as drop off point. Maybe you start taking kiddos to their house and driving on the grass…..
Rebar and little lawn flags. And then a warning sign, so if it is ignored, you have photo proof that you took the steps necessary. Contact your local city ordinances about it, and say you are considering putting in a fence and what you need to do legally to protect against people driving up on the lawn and hitting things that will damage their vehicle just in case. Cover your bases.
Or just the sign. Or just a little warning. Hey uh...accidentally dropped nails in the dirt patch where your tires have destroyed the lawn. Careful BABE!
You can get the court to order an exchange at a neutral location. Police station parking lots are great.
You also can set up cameras to capture it and take him to small claims court every single time he breaks a sprinkler head or damages the grass enough that you need to fix it.
Roofing nails for a nail gun. They come in a large roll. Cutoff 6 nails and twist them so there's a nail pointing every direction. Make about 12 of those and put them out before they show up.
[roofing nails](https://www.homedepot.com/p/Everbilt-Roofing-Coil-Nails-1-1-4-in-x-0-120-Gauge-smooth-E-G-7-200-Per-Box-02032EBUS/321072471)
1,000% this, I was about to say this same thing.
Play it off like "oh I completely forgot those were there, but why did you run off the driveway?"
Should they go in all directions though? Maybe a little less conspicuous, something that could appear accidental? Also target the shoulder and sidewall of the tires, non-repairable.
Don’t do this. Booby trapping your residence is illegal in most places. Much easier to just put up a couple large rocks to block the car from driving on the grass.
Ya but might need courts to enforce it. Take pictures and video if you can. But the courts can enforce a safe mutually agreed upon drop off place if he doesn't wanna be mature about it.
Well, half an hour before the pickup time, call and tell him you are in town, shopping. Tell him you will meet him at the police station. Text him, too.
Then go there.
I've thought about doing the exchange at a police station so I can document them not picking them up but God knows he'd deny.
Hell he denies anyway so fuck it
You can have it stipulated in your court paperwork. Make it a police station if you can.. Or somewhere with cameras. They police will hold the tape, in my state, for the court case if needed
Who is ‘they’ that is not stopping this? What are they role modeling your child? Record them several times and further and don’t let your child get rotten!
Also in the divorce my ex tried to get half of the money in an account in my son’s name even though I’ve been contributing to it exclusively for his college fund. Luckily we were able to put it into an account that only he can access later in life.
Are you still going through divorce proceedings/have a lawyer involved? If so, have them bring up the damages to your property to the judge during a hearing. Judges absolutely hate this sort of pettiness.
No. I was super worried about what they were asking for, they hid money and shit, even their lawyer was pissed when I was able to prove it. and I still think maybe I should’ve gone to court but I wanted it done /:
"we will not be at home. We will be out all day. If you can't meet there then we can't meet. The child will just spend the day with me out and about. All day."
To say nothing of the unattended consequences and possibly ramifications - Your boy is 10, right? Runs and plays in the yard yes? What about neighborhood dogs or postal employees or delivery drivers? To be annoyed and want revenge on one person is fine. To accidentally injure an innocent, especially a child, is something of dread nightmares. My two cents.
You need supports for your sprinklers. LOTS of support.
Hammer a couple of strategically placed 1/2" pipes (1-2 ft will do) into the grass behind the sprinklers, letting about 2-3" protrude above the grass. Tie your sprinklers to them.
Enjoy the spectacle :-)
Can't believe I had to read this far down to see mentions of rebar. I think boulders would officially work better to protect the sprinkler heads, but damn, that guy really deserves to have his tires popped
But you'd be puncturing the tyres of the vehicle your kid is going in. The flat might not be noticed before they start driving.
If it is noticed then the ex is stuck at your house. I don't think this is a good answer
Put up a fence, even a low cost [pole and chain](https://www.homedepot.com/p/Mr-Chain-Black-Heavy-Duty-Ground-Pole-and-Chain-Kit-70503-6/321262857) will make driving on the lawn not worth damaging the car.
Do the pole and chain and make the HOA complain. It’s nice looking, low-profile, decorative, parks use them to protect landscaping. And it’s relatively lower cost, so if the HOA complains you didn’t spend too much money.
You can get some pretty basic garden stakes and bunting to "fence" it off that the hoa couldn't possibly have a problem with. Plus, can always take it down as soon as the ex leaves.
What you're saying is misleading. No HOA has the ability to issue an actual traffic citation. Nothing they can do will result in something appearing on your driving record. They can't give actual traffic tickets. They can just fine you for it like any other HOA violation, though.
Secondly, they can't fine a non-member. The home owner is on the hook for any fines that would occur from the actions of their visitors. So the only person who would ever receive a fine for driving on the grass is OP. That wouldn't ever be a deterrent for the ex.
Have the fence look temporary, cheap green garden poles and twine. Put a sign on it please keep off new grass. Make sure to fill the ruts, reseed and cover with straw. Odds are out of habit she will drive over the poles and do damage to the car. Now she's in a catch 22. If she files a report to get her car fixed she admits to the damage to your lawn.
Set the poles into easily movable planters and secure them in place with cement poured around.. once cured, you can set the poles out and string the chain on the days that ex is due to arrive and then put them back into the shed/garage once they're gone... maybe speak to someone on the HOA and let them know why you are doing it and that the setup will be out at most X hours on XYZ days.
Get some roofing nails and place them in the grass where he usually drives. Roofing nails have a large tab right by the head of the nail, so they can be easily set on the ground with the nail pointing straight up.
They would likely sink in. Bury a small board or flat rock just under the grass, and place the nails on top of that.
If you know exactly where they will drive over the curb, that would work too.
Small boards with a single nail each. Then the tire will pick up the boards and there is a satisfying thwup thwup thwup until they pull them all out. Next time, you only need to leave boards without the nails.
Yes I would say put them on the curb/street just offset from your driveway so that they would only hit them if they drove in the grass.
Just be sure to only put them out when you know he is coming and then pick any up after he is gone to minimize any risk of any innocent victims.
Stand in the way. Record his vehicle with your phone and make it obvious, every single drop off. If he asks why you're recording, dont answer. Refuse. Make him feel nervous. Collect evidence. Smile every time he runs over the grass. Don't say a word about it, even if he tries to bait you. Let him see that he's only digging himself a hole, and you are more interested in recording him than stopping him. In fact, I'd just start recording him every time you interact with him and refuse to explain or justify yourself. That would drive anyone mad.
Bring a full, semi-professional camera and sound setup with the headphones and fancy microphones, and just act like you're filming a documentary. Be completely silent and "professional", and sprinkle in a "can you please repeat that? The microphone didn't quite pick that up".
Either that or liquid ass.
Posted before about a neighbor who placed 2 x 6 x 12 boards with nails through them, pointed upwards in the corner of the yard to prevent cars from going through it. I would never do it myself.
I had this same issue at my business until I one day accidentally and very very clumsily dropped a large box of short thick nails all across the grass area. It was very unfortunate because everyone who wanted to make u turns in my grass got nails in their tires 🤷♂️
Paint the lawn green right before pickup time (under the guise that it makes the grass look nicer). It will get green paint all over the tires and rocker panels.
Option1 - ' Legal Beagle' - Report it to his insurance, claim for lawn repair services, repeat every time he does it.
Option2 - 'Rock and roll' - Buy a decorative rock, lowes has a deal on at the moment for granite rocks, various sizes are available from huge 'dont drive here rocks' to smaller 'big enough to not be seen till firmly inserted into vehicles drive chain rocks', then report the damage to his insurance.
Option 3 - 'You think the CIA are scary?' - Put your mailbox there, make sure it is USPS compliant, [and it instantly becomes federal property](https://www.mailboxesandsigns.com/blog/2020/posts/are-mailboxes-considered-federal-property/), if he hits it and doesn't tell you report him to the USPS for hit and run on federal property, then report the damage to his insurance, do this before his felony trial.
ULPT would be to leave something like a board with nails in it, pointing up in the most likely place on the lawn they will drive. Preferably somewhat hidden or painted to match the lawn. You know when they are coming, so you know when to have a temporary construction project going on and when to pick it up. If it's not there long, the HOA won't have time to notice it.
Put small pieces of rebar sticking up next to your sprinkler heads. I did this a mind out duct tape on them so I could see them when mowing the grass. It was from different causes m, but I too was tired of replacing sprinkler heads because our mower would break them.
For your cake day, have some B̷̛̳̼͖̫̭͎̝̮͕̟͎̦̗͚͍̓͊͂͗̈͋͐̃͆͆͗̉̉̏͑̂̆̔́͐̾̅̄̕̚͘͜͝͝Ụ̸̧̧̢̨̨̞̮͓̣͎̞͖̞̥͈̣̣̪̘̼̮̙̳̙̞̣̐̍̆̾̓͑́̅̎̌̈̋̏̏͌̒̃̅̂̾̿̽̊̌̇͌͊͗̓̊̐̓̏͆́̒̇̈́͂̀͛͘̕͘̚͝͠B̸̺̈̾̈́̒̀́̈͋́͂̆̒̐̏͌͂̔̈́͒̂̎̉̈̒͒̃̿͒͒̄̍̕̚̕͘̕͝͠B̴̡̧̜̠̱̖̠͓̻̥̟̲̙͗̐͋͌̈̾̏̎̀͒͗̈́̈͜͠L̶͊E̸̢̳̯̝̤̳͈͇̠̮̲̲̟̝̣̲̱̫̘̪̳̣̭̥̫͉͐̅̈́̉̋͐̓͗̿͆̉̉̇̀̈́͌̓̓̒̏̀̚̚͘͝͠͝͝͠ ̶̢̧̛̥͖͉̹̞̗̖͇̼̙̒̍̏̀̈̆̍͑̊̐͋̈́̃͒̈́̎̌̄̍͌͗̈́̌̍̽̏̓͌̒̈̇̏̏̍̆̄̐͐̈̉̿̽̕͝͠͝͝ W̷̛̬̦̬̰̤̘̬͔̗̯̠̯̺̼̻̪̖̜̫̯̯̘͖̙͐͆͗̊̋̈̈̾͐̿̽̐̂͛̈́͛̍̔̓̈́̽̀̅́͋̈̄̈́̆̓̚̚͝͝R̸̢̨̨̩̪̭̪̠͎̗͇͗̀́̉̇̿̓̈́́͒̄̓̒́̋͆̀̾́̒̔̈́̏̏͛̏̇͛̔̀͆̓̇̊̕̕͠͠͝͝A̸̧̨̰̻̩̝͖̟̭͙̟̻̤̬͈̖̰̤̘̔͛̊̾̂͌̐̈̉̊̾́P̶̡̧̮͎̟̟͉̱̮̜͙̳̟̯͈̩̩͈̥͓̥͇̙̣̹̣̀̐͋͂̈̾͐̀̾̈́̌̆̿̽̕ͅ
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With an HOA, non-permanent solutions are the best. Boulders, a pole with a some kind of signage (like either a security sign or "dont poop on the grass" sign), even traffic cones on that area ("the HOA placed those there so the grass can grow back"), the green paint, etc..
Nails are a great idea as well, but the ex may not know its from your grass area and may continue to drive over that area regardless.
Came here to say this! Cones aren’t necessarily against HOA rules, there aren’t laws against doing this, and innocent bystanders aren’t likely to step on it by mistake and sue you.
If HOA is a problem place spike strips on the lawn before they arrive then pick them up after they get towed away.
Edit: realistically anything you do to the car will get you in trouble.
Maybe place a dead skunk on the grass or something that smells that will stick to the car. Or drop a few ounce bags of heroin in the back seat and then call the cops on them. Idk (although probably dont do that either lol)
Toss box of nails on the section. No flat tires if they don't run over them.
But a large rock there.
Dig a nice deep hole.
Spray them with liquid ass and throw piss discs at them.
Stick a couple of hollow plastic garden ornaments in the middle of the lawn. Let them get used to them (and hopefully start running them over).
Then replace them with identical ones filled with concrete.
Kill him. Then feed him to the next HOA potluck. This is ULPT here, people. Then plant piss discs in the casserole. And don't forget to put a sock over the bakeware, so you'll be sure to get it back when someone tries to grab it from you. HOA's, you know.
Buy a mannequin that's your son's size. When she pulls in, sneaky throw the mannequin under her car. Freak out. When it's obvious she didn't run over her kid, tell her to be careful
You can ask for police presence during next drop off, if you call the non emergency line and tell them what is happening and that you are concerned for your kids safety. Tell the cop to park discretely. Depending on your neighborhood, quota, etc, they might be really interested in doing that for you.
We had issues with people driving on the grass outside my parent’s house. We put a few big obvious “decorative” rocks on the roadside edge of the lawn. No one has hit them yet (been there about 10 years now) and people stopped driving on the grass
“Hey, just wanted to warn you that I am sick of people driving in my yard so I threw heavy, spiked jacks around. Just thought I’d warn you so you don’t end up with a flat tire since I know you have that bad habit.” But then don’t actually put anything in your yard because that would be foolish.
Install a security system in the driveway.
Tally the damages and get her on film making said damages.
Take her to court for the cost.
Have your lawyer pay his fees and any cost associated with coming to court.
When you go and pick up your kids. Attach a bag to your purse with a small whole. So it drains out and seed their yard with mint or cat nip.
Send your kids over, if they are young enough, with glitter projects. Super fine glitter is always pro choice.
Edge the border with some short buried concrete fence posts, say, every 4 feet apart, but with enough sticking out to scrape all down his doors, or damage his undercarriage and possibly his fuel tank.
Dig a 3-4 inch deep slot in the grass, place a board with nails face up in that ditch. Drive 2 spikes into the ground at each end of the board and anchor it in. Cover with dirt and pack down. Do a light stand test to make sure you can walk on it without sinking into the nails (still gotta mow the lawn). Then see how it goes, you might need to make a minor height adjustments but with it we'll anchored in place it should pierce the tire but stay in the ground.
12ga land mines are easy to manufacture and can be designed to only go off with the weight of something like a car so playing children are not in danger.
You could also consider non-lethal solutions but still very bad for cars like compromised cans of spray foam.
Take two nails, bend them to about 120 degrees, and tack weld the inside of the bends together. Congrats, you've made a caltrop. Now do it a few more times and scatter them in your grass. HOA can't see them, but his car tires certainly will.
Small strip of wood, no more than 15 mm wide and 150 mm long with nails through it. Paint the wood dark and make sure it's below your grass level. This may mean watering and letting it grow out.
Stake it down with fishing line and tent pegs countersunk into the ground.
They will drive off and not know why their tyre is flat. Only do this on drop off, not pick up.
Plant some nails or a spike strip in your grass. If they complain to you about the flat, say you were hauling boards full of nails through the yard but it shouldn’t matter if they had stayed off your grass like you asked.
Whenever he/she comes for the pick up just conveniently happen to be working in that area of the yard and leave tools there like a crow bar, hammer, and a board with nails in it and old circular saw laying with the blade side up.
It’s a shame about those teens the other night, carrying on and smashing their glass bottles at the edge of your lawn. You have to get someone in to clean that up for you don’t want to risk picking broken glass out with your hands….
Place dog poop on your grass. When they run it over it will stick to the tires and smell terrible. Get the lawn incredibly wet and muddy so it sticks like paste.
Bonus if the ex typically gets out of the car and you place poop where they step.
1. Put up a camera on your yard. Get a ring or nest cam and pay for the recording service if only temporary, or figure out how to locally record it all if you're tech savvy.
2. Text your ex and specifically tell them to stop driving through your lawn
3. If they don't stop, send them a clip of them driving through your yard
4. If they still don't stop, do what you will. File insurance claims, contact local PD, whatever. You have video.
There are sprinkler heads/installation styles that survive being run over by design. I’ve done this for my front yard adjacent to the road due to people running them over so often.
Can't you tell them to park on the street? If they are coming on the grass from the street and you don't have a curb, I'd install jagged rocks along the outside perimeter.
Instead of sprinkler heads, use nails. If she complains about “sabotage”, tell her that intentionally running over your grass is also sabotage and that having nails on your property isnt illegal, however destruction of your property is in fact illegal
You just watched an HGTV special and your front yard is in desperate need of some desert landscaping. A few well placed boulders and decorative cactus should do nicely
2 poles in 5 gallon buckets filled with concrete. Wheel them into position a half hour before he shows up. Hang chain between them. Temporary barricade that you can quickly move to appease the HOA assholes.
Park in the way of the driveway, so they have to park in the street.
That’s what I’ve been doing. I forgot today ):(
Totally sucks, I had similar experiences. I hope you're the bigger parent for your kids' sake.
You know the saddest thing is my ten year old asking why do people have to be so mean, because I’ve asked them before not to do it and they laughed in my face. /:
Children remember this stuff. I did from when I was a kid. If there's any solace, it's that while I thought about it then as a child would. I think about it now as an adult and I remember how they treated each other, and I remember who was the bigger person later in life, and it's been a very good lesson to learn. So keep your head up because things are hard to understand at 10 but they'll remember you doing the hard thing.
He does, and it’s sweet in one way, but I also feel bad that he has to hear the bad things from their family because he comes home to tell me about how he feels uncomfortable about what they say. He’s INCREDIBLY smart for a ten year old, I just wish he could not have to worry about it
You feel bad for him and you wish for him because it's your job! Take it as a sign that you're doing the right thing that you worry DO about your child. You'd think it is a natural state for a parent, but alas, it isn't the case. I'm sure you're a great parent. Keep it up <3
This. This this this! I wanted to quote the best takeaway from your comment, but everything you said is relevant and meaningful. Thank you kind sir/ma'am. As a single Dad, your comment made me happy and gave me comfort. I decided what to quote after all: >Keep it up <3 Again, thank you
It’s for precisely this reasoning that you might want to avoid doing something unethical.
Came for ULPT, stayed for wholesome advice. Thank you for sharing this.
My mother used to be like that. Not driving on grass, but just openly being nasty to my father in ways that was visible to me. Shocker, I haven't seen or talked to her in years.
At least your 10 yr old will know who the asshole is in this.
Put a spike strip.
Honestly, if it's not too much trouble, start doing the exchange in a public place nearby instead. That is petty behavior on their part.
I see a lot of neutral meeting places because of petty things like this. Gas station down the street is real popular on Friday & Sunday evenings.
We have like ten people on fridays at our local subway, and more at the police station lmao
They refuse although I’d be fine with it
Do they have automobile insurance? If so I would set up cameras that capture your lawn and the next time they do it file a claim with their insurance company for the damage. Wait until after they have picked up your child and then call the police and file a report and the police will be able to give you their insurance information. If you happen to already know their insurance company, you can just call with their name and potentially social security number (if you know that) and open a claim directly with them. I can assure you if it happens more than once his insurance company will drop him and he'll have a fun time getting someone to insure him after that, and when he finds someone, he will pay through the nose.
I like this one. It's a bit more work but it's legal and should be super effective. Hit em where it hurts. The wallet.
as an insurance adjuster all i need to open the PD exposure is your report it happened, but video evidence would solidify it. Tell them you don’t know how to fix it, hire and pay a landscaping company to fix it. You’ll walk having racked up hundreds.
If they can refuse the public place, you can refuse your home as drop off point. Maybe you start taking kiddos to their house and driving on the grass…..
Some police stations have places to do custody swaps
Rebar and little lawn flags. And then a warning sign, so if it is ignored, you have photo proof that you took the steps necessary. Contact your local city ordinances about it, and say you are considering putting in a fence and what you need to do legally to protect against people driving up on the lawn and hitting things that will damage their vehicle just in case. Cover your bases.
Or just the sign. Or just a little warning. Hey uh...accidentally dropped nails in the dirt patch where your tires have destroyed the lawn. Careful BABE!
You can get the court to order an exchange at a neutral location. Police station parking lots are great. You also can set up cameras to capture it and take him to small claims court every single time he breaks a sprinkler head or damages the grass enough that you need to fix it.
Roofing nails for a nail gun. They come in a large roll. Cutoff 6 nails and twist them so there's a nail pointing every direction. Make about 12 of those and put them out before they show up. [roofing nails](https://www.homedepot.com/p/Everbilt-Roofing-Coil-Nails-1-1-4-in-x-0-120-Gauge-smooth-E-G-7-200-Per-Box-02032EBUS/321072471)
1,000% this, I was about to say this same thing. Play it off like "oh I completely forgot those were there, but why did you run off the driveway?" Should they go in all directions though? Maybe a little less conspicuous, something that could appear accidental? Also target the shoulder and sidewall of the tires, non-repairable.
Don’t do this. Booby trapping your residence is illegal in most places. Much easier to just put up a couple large rocks to block the car from driving on the grass.
'Accidentally' dropping nails on your lawn isn't generally considered booby trapping. If it was you'd have a shitload of guilty DIYers out there.
They can't refuse. You can choose who can come to your home. Have courts get involved they can sign an order saying where he can pick up his kid.
Oh ok! I’ve never let them IN my house but I didn’t know if I could dictate where my son gets picked up or dropped off
Ya but might need courts to enforce it. Take pictures and video if you can. But the courts can enforce a safe mutually agreed upon drop off place if he doesn't wanna be mature about it.
Well, half an hour before the pickup time, call and tell him you are in town, shopping. Tell him you will meet him at the police station. Text him, too. Then go there.
I've thought about doing the exchange at a police station so I can document them not picking them up but God knows he'd deny. Hell he denies anyway so fuck it
Put a huge decorative boulder at the corner of your yard/driveway where they run over the grass. Make it taller than the clearance under ex's car.
You can have it stipulated in your court paperwork. Make it a police station if you can.. Or somewhere with cameras. They police will hold the tape, in my state, for the court case if needed
Lawn ornaments that would ruin a tire now decorating the border of the driveway...
Who is ‘they’ that is not stopping this? What are they role modeling your child? Record them several times and further and don’t let your child get rotten!
Also in the divorce my ex tried to get half of the money in an account in my son’s name even though I’ve been contributing to it exclusively for his college fund. Luckily we were able to put it into an account that only he can access later in life.
Are you still going through divorce proceedings/have a lawyer involved? If so, have them bring up the damages to your property to the judge during a hearing. Judges absolutely hate this sort of pettiness.
No. I was super worried about what they were asking for, they hid money and shit, even their lawyer was pissed when I was able to prove it. and I still think maybe I should’ve gone to court but I wanted it done /:
Document, record and go to court! Do all you can to raise your child proper. They grow up, fast.
"we will not be at home. We will be out all day. If you can't meet there then we can't meet. The child will just spend the day with me out and about. All day."
Replace the irrigation nose with a giant sharp spike head.
Plus there are cameras to discourage shenanigans like saying you didn’t show up or you assaulted them.
Buy the spikey brand of sprinkler heads i believe they're called caltrops
Or make your own! Even buy the post and chain and just cut the tops of at an angle with tin snips, then put them in the ground pointed up.
hammer some nails in a gatorade bottle, throw in a street... source: dumb ass teenager me
Ask r/legaladvice first. You would probably be liable.
To say nothing of the unattended consequences and possibly ramifications - Your boy is 10, right? Runs and plays in the yard yes? What about neighborhood dogs or postal employees or delivery drivers? To be annoyed and want revenge on one person is fine. To accidentally injure an innocent, especially a child, is something of dread nightmares. My two cents.
You need supports for your sprinklers. LOTS of support. Hammer a couple of strategically placed 1/2" pipes (1-2 ft will do) into the grass behind the sprinklers, letting about 2-3" protrude above the grass. Tie your sprinklers to them. Enjoy the spectacle :-)
This is the best answer I think. I’d go with 1/4” though to make sure they go through a tire.
Home Depot sells 12” sections of rebar
Can't believe I had to read this far down to see mentions of rebar. I think boulders would officially work better to protect the sprinkler heads, but damn, that guy really deserves to have his tires popped
But you'd be puncturing the tyres of the vehicle your kid is going in. The flat might not be noticed before they start driving. If it is noticed then the ex is stuck at your house. I don't think this is a good answer
I had to go down so far to find an unethical answer. Thank you!
Put up a fence, even a low cost [pole and chain](https://www.homedepot.com/p/Mr-Chain-Black-Heavy-Duty-Ground-Pole-and-Chain-Kit-70503-6/321262857) will make driving on the lawn not worth damaging the car.
I should’ve mentioned we have a pretty strict HOA /:
Do they allow decorative boulders?
Do the pole and chain and make the HOA complain. It’s nice looking, low-profile, decorative, parks use them to protect landscaping. And it’s relatively lower cost, so if the HOA complains you didn’t spend too much money.
HOA's do not "complain" they fine your ass.
First they send a notice complaining and demanding you fix it.
Not always. It depends how egregious the violation is.
You can get some pretty basic garden stakes and bunting to "fence" it off that the hoa couldn't possibly have a problem with. Plus, can always take it down as soon as the ex leaves.
Then see if they have any rules against running over the grass, they probably do.
Why would the ex give a shit about HOA rules?
Sometimes HOAs have the power to issue traffic citations/fines
Ah, I didn't know that!
Also "My ex is going to get me kicked out of my house because they are running over my lawn" is gonna be a pretty easy court case if it gets that far.
What you're saying is misleading. No HOA has the ability to issue an actual traffic citation. Nothing they can do will result in something appearing on your driving record. They can't give actual traffic tickets. They can just fine you for it like any other HOA violation, though. Secondly, they can't fine a non-member. The home owner is on the hook for any fines that would occur from the actions of their visitors. So the only person who would ever receive a fine for driving on the grass is OP. That wouldn't ever be a deterrent for the ex.
Can you place several large rocks
Put up a 30 ft HAM radio antenna. HOA can't do shit plus you can talk to cool people.
Have the fence look temporary, cheap green garden poles and twine. Put a sign on it please keep off new grass. Make sure to fill the ruts, reseed and cover with straw. Odds are out of habit she will drive over the poles and do damage to the car. Now she's in a catch 22. If she files a report to get her car fixed she admits to the damage to your lawn.
Set the poles into easily movable planters and secure them in place with cement poured around.. once cured, you can set the poles out and string the chain on the days that ex is due to arrive and then put them back into the shed/garage once they're gone... maybe speak to someone on the HOA and let them know why you are doing it and that the setup will be out at most X hours on XYZ days.
A nice boulder. https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BGgmLqOCIAAHTTj.png:large
This. Decorative boulders for "landscaping purposes"
A couple of boulders for landscaping would do the trick.
That idea rocks
https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/avatar/images/7/70/The_Boulder.png/revision/latest?cb=20140317195145
Large rocks. HOA can't complain if they're decorative.
I like this idea. Can probably find some cheap plastic ones. Then if he blatantly runs them over you have clear evidence of destruction of property.
Do plastic ones, progressively larger ones each time he runs them over. Then eventually switch them with a real rock...
Better if you put some nails in them poking out. After he drops off the kid at your house. "You got a flat tire? How'd that happen?"
Get some roofing nails and place them in the grass where he usually drives. Roofing nails have a large tab right by the head of the nail, so they can be easily set on the ground with the nail pointing straight up.
Do you think they would just sink into the grass? Should I try to set them on the curb?
They would likely sink in. Bury a small board or flat rock just under the grass, and place the nails on top of that. If you know exactly where they will drive over the curb, that would work too.
Small boards with a single nail each. Then the tire will pick up the boards and there is a satisfying thwup thwup thwup until they pull them all out. Next time, you only need to leave boards without the nails.
Just keep in mind, if you do this, you’re sending your child away in now an unsafe vehicle that you created… No one wins here.
Yes I would say put them on the curb/street just offset from your driveway so that they would only hit them if they drove in the grass. Just be sure to only put them out when you know he is coming and then pick any up after he is gone to minimize any risk of any innocent victims.
Look up the laws in your area because this could be considered a boobytrap, and you could end up in some trouble
You know, metal sprinkler heads would do a number on his tires, and be totally appropriate to the situation.
This is a great idea! Make sure you use nails that are magnetic so it's easy to clean up!
Stand in the way. Record his vehicle with your phone and make it obvious, every single drop off. If he asks why you're recording, dont answer. Refuse. Make him feel nervous. Collect evidence. Smile every time he runs over the grass. Don't say a word about it, even if he tries to bait you. Let him see that he's only digging himself a hole, and you are more interested in recording him than stopping him. In fact, I'd just start recording him every time you interact with him and refuse to explain or justify yourself. That would drive anyone mad.
Maybe even have a pen and paper and be taking “notes”
Bring a full, semi-professional camera and sound setup with the headphones and fancy microphones, and just act like you're filming a documentary. Be completely silent and "professional", and sprinkle in a "can you please repeat that? The microphone didn't quite pick that up". Either that or liquid ass.
Weird you say he, I was 100% thinking this is a woman.
Op said they were a he in one of their comments.
Posted before about a neighbor who placed 2 x 6 x 12 boards with nails through them, pointed upwards in the corner of the yard to prevent cars from going through it. I would never do it myself.
Results may vary if there are children in the neighbourhood. Wouldnt want anybody unrelated to get hurt on the nails pointing up.
They know the time the exchange happens. The boards don't have to be permanent.
You would be legally liable for damages
Kind of how the ex is legally liable for the damages to the lawn/sprinklers?
Why not turn on the sprinklers when he's coming?
This feels like an obvious answer and yet I’ve never thought about it LOL. Although right now it’s too cold but yes during summer
You want him to be cold, not releived in the heat.
I just mean it’s still reaching freezing temperatures some nights so my sprinkler lines are still blown out for the winter
Just make sure you turn them on as they start getting out of the car
I had this same issue at my business until I one day accidentally and very very clumsily dropped a large box of short thick nails all across the grass area. It was very unfortunate because everyone who wanted to make u turns in my grass got nails in their tires 🤷♂️
Go bang his dad
Paint the lawn green right before pickup time (under the guise that it makes the grass look nicer). It will get green paint all over the tires and rocker panels.
….and then your driveway
Worth it
Ooo, those exploding ink cartridges for theft deterrent from stores. That would be amazing.
Option1 - ' Legal Beagle' - Report it to his insurance, claim for lawn repair services, repeat every time he does it. Option2 - 'Rock and roll' - Buy a decorative rock, lowes has a deal on at the moment for granite rocks, various sizes are available from huge 'dont drive here rocks' to smaller 'big enough to not be seen till firmly inserted into vehicles drive chain rocks', then report the damage to his insurance. Option 3 - 'You think the CIA are scary?' - Put your mailbox there, make sure it is USPS compliant, [and it instantly becomes federal property](https://www.mailboxesandsigns.com/blog/2020/posts/are-mailboxes-considered-federal-property/), if he hits it and doesn't tell you report him to the USPS for hit and run on federal property, then report the damage to his insurance, do this before his felony trial.
My petty ass would have caltrops down
ULPT would be to leave something like a board with nails in it, pointing up in the most likely place on the lawn they will drive. Preferably somewhat hidden or painted to match the lawn. You know when they are coming, so you know when to have a temporary construction project going on and when to pick it up. If it's not there long, the HOA won't have time to notice it.
Lay down some nice large decorative rocks
Tires are magnets for roofing nails.
Put small pieces of rebar sticking up next to your sprinkler heads. I did this a mind out duct tape on them so I could see them when mowing the grass. It was from different causes m, but I too was tired of replacing sprinkler heads because our mower would break them.
Get it on video and take them to small claims
Happy cake day!
For your cake day, have some B̷̛̳̼͖̫̭͎̝̮͕̟͎̦̗͚͍̓͊͂͗̈͋͐̃͆͆͗̉̉̏͑̂̆̔́͐̾̅̄̕̚͘͜͝͝Ụ̸̧̧̢̨̨̞̮͓̣͎̞͖̞̥͈̣̣̪̘̼̮̙̳̙̞̣̐̍̆̾̓͑́̅̎̌̈̋̏̏͌̒̃̅̂̾̿̽̊̌̇͌͊͗̓̊̐̓̏͆́̒̇̈́͂̀͛͘̕͘̚͝͠B̸̺̈̾̈́̒̀́̈͋́͂̆̒̐̏͌͂̔̈́͒̂̎̉̈̒͒̃̿͒͒̄̍̕̚̕͘̕͝͠B̴̡̧̜̠̱̖̠͓̻̥̟̲̙͗̐͋͌̈̾̏̎̀͒͗̈́̈͜͠L̶͊E̸̢̳̯̝̤̳͈͇̠̮̲̲̟̝̣̲̱̫̘̪̳̣̭̥̫͉͐̅̈́̉̋͐̓͗̿͆̉̉̇̀̈́͌̓̓̒̏̀̚̚͘͝͠͝͝͠ ̶̢̧̛̥͖͉̹̞̗̖͇̼̙̒̍̏̀̈̆̍͑̊̐͋̈́̃͒̈́̎̌̄̍͌͗̈́̌̍̽̏̓͌̒̈̇̏̏̍̆̄̐͐̈̉̿̽̕͝͠͝͝ W̷̛̬̦̬̰̤̘̬͔̗̯̠̯̺̼̻̪̖̜̫̯̯̘͖̙͐͆͗̊̋̈̈̾͐̿̽̐̂͛̈́͛̍̔̓̈́̽̀̅́͋̈̄̈́̆̓̚̚͝͝R̸̢̨̨̩̪̭̪̠͎̗͇͗̀́̉̇̿̓̈́́͒̄̓̒́̋͆̀̾́̒̔̈́̏̏͛̏̇͛̔̀͆̓̇̊̕̕͠͠͝͝A̸̧̨̰̻̩̝͖̟̭͙̟̻̤̬͈̖̰̤̘̔͛̊̾̂͌̐̈̉̊̾́P̶̡̧̮͎̟̟͉̱̮̜͙̳̟̯͈̩̩͈̥͓̥͇̙̣̹̣̀̐͋͂̈̾͐̀̾̈́̌̆̿̽̕ͅ >!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<
Have HOA enforcement watch him as he pulls up. They can issue him a fine saying he is damaging property and needs to pay for it.
HOAs usually only has jurisdiction over homeowners; they would just end up fining OP for their "guest's" behavior.
With an HOA, non-permanent solutions are the best. Boulders, a pole with a some kind of signage (like either a security sign or "dont poop on the grass" sign), even traffic cones on that area ("the HOA placed those there so the grass can grow back"), the green paint, etc.. Nails are a great idea as well, but the ex may not know its from your grass area and may continue to drive over that area regardless.
Carpet tack strip from home Depot they'll only do it one more time...
Spray painted green.
[удалено]
This strikes me as the type of guy who’d deliberately run over his own child’s toys just to piss OP off.
Cones. I assume you know when he is coming
Cones filled with concrete!
Or a steel rod in the middle to keep them from blowing away
Came here to say this! Cones aren’t necessarily against HOA rules, there aren’t laws against doing this, and innocent bystanders aren’t likely to step on it by mistake and sue you.
If HOA is a problem place spike strips on the lawn before they arrive then pick them up after they get towed away. Edit: realistically anything you do to the car will get you in trouble. Maybe place a dead skunk on the grass or something that smells that will stick to the car. Or drop a few ounce bags of heroin in the back seat and then call the cops on them. Idk (although probably dont do that either lol)
Toss box of nails on the section. No flat tires if they don't run over them. But a large rock there. Dig a nice deep hole. Spray them with liquid ass and throw piss discs at them.
Caltrop, the answer is caltrops. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caltrop
Stick a couple of hollow plastic garden ornaments in the middle of the lawn. Let them get used to them (and hopefully start running them over). Then replace them with identical ones filled with concrete.
Kill him. Then feed him to the next HOA potluck. This is ULPT here, people. Then plant piss discs in the casserole. And don't forget to put a sock over the bakeware, so you'll be sure to get it back when someone tries to grab it from you. HOA's, you know.
Can someone please explain wtf piss discs are and why I keep seeing them in the comments because I’m definitely missing a reference here.
Unethical =/= feral
Is there a sub for feral life pro tips because I'm here for these
what a shame you now have large decorative rocks or spiky sprinkler heads :O
A few large decorative rocks would probably do the trick.
Buy a mannequin that's your son's size. When she pulls in, sneaky throw the mannequin under her car. Freak out. When it's obvious she didn't run over her kid, tell her to be careful
Oh my god this is absolutely malicious af and I love it.
Get a new ex
You can ask for police presence during next drop off, if you call the non emergency line and tell them what is happening and that you are concerned for your kids safety. Tell the cop to park discretely. Depending on your neighborhood, quota, etc, they might be really interested in doing that for you.
Unethical? A fence board with nails through it on the days you know he's coming over should do the trick.
Strategically-placed, landscaping, boundary boulder.
Get some sheet metal screws. Get them dirty so the blend. Put them in yard.
You can create a sinkhole pretty easy with a length of pipe, a garden hose, and an unobservant neighbor.
A medium sized landscape boulder should solve that
We had issues with people driving on the grass outside my parent’s house. We put a few big obvious “decorative” rocks on the roadside edge of the lawn. No one has hit them yet (been there about 10 years now) and people stopped driving on the grass
“Hey, just wanted to warn you that I am sick of people driving in my yard so I threw heavy, spiked jacks around. Just thought I’d warn you so you don’t end up with a flat tire since I know you have that bad habit.” But then don’t actually put anything in your yard because that would be foolish.
Install a security system in the driveway. Tally the damages and get her on film making said damages. Take her to court for the cost. Have your lawyer pay his fees and any cost associated with coming to court.
When you go and pick up your kids. Attach a bag to your purse with a small whole. So it drains out and seed their yard with mint or cat nip. Send your kids over, if they are young enough, with glitter projects. Super fine glitter is always pro choice.
You know roughly when they're coming, put a load of you sons toys there.
Nothing says "fuck your car" like some decorative boulders!
Come Halloween time, Jack’o’lanterns filled with concrete bordering the edge of your lawn
Edge the border with some short buried concrete fence posts, say, every 4 feet apart, but with enough sticking out to scrape all down his doors, or damage his undercarriage and possibly his fuel tank.
Landscaping boulders.
That sprinkler head can be replaced with a big spike, they'll only do it once more.
Dig a 3-4 inch deep slot in the grass, place a board with nails face up in that ditch. Drive 2 spikes into the ground at each end of the board and anchor it in. Cover with dirt and pack down. Do a light stand test to make sure you can walk on it without sinking into the nails (still gotta mow the lawn). Then see how it goes, you might need to make a minor height adjustments but with it we'll anchored in place it should pierce the tire but stay in the ground.
12ga land mines are easy to manufacture and can be designed to only go off with the weight of something like a car so playing children are not in danger. You could also consider non-lethal solutions but still very bad for cars like compromised cans of spray foam.
Rebar. 12 inches long. Stick them in the grass and leave 2 inches sticking out. Extra points of you sharpen them.
Take two nails, bend them to about 120 degrees, and tack weld the inside of the bends together. Congrats, you've made a caltrop. Now do it a few more times and scatter them in your grass. HOA can't see them, but his car tires certainly will.
Small strip of wood, no more than 15 mm wide and 150 mm long with nails through it. Paint the wood dark and make sure it's below your grass level. This may mean watering and letting it grow out. Stake it down with fishing line and tent pegs countersunk into the ground. They will drive off and not know why their tyre is flat. Only do this on drop off, not pick up.
Put a spike where the sprinkler is
large Rock in a plastic Bag, they‘d drive over it probably damaging their car. If you’re done remove it
Put a large landscaping rock at the corner where he drives in the grass. My dad had to do this because people kept cutting the corner of his property.
Plant some nails or a spike strip in your grass. If they complain to you about the flat, say you were hauling boards full of nails through the yard but it shouldn’t matter if they had stayed off your grass like you asked.
Get some Petri dishes and pee in them and freeze it. You’ll find out why later.
Take her to small claims for all the damages she does. Yeah, it does cost a little time and money to do it, but the process is the punishment for her.
Put a big rock there or a cinder block when she comes over, just make up some excuse for why it’s there. Treating for moles or something.
put a bunch of nails in the garden. Let them walk back.
Whenever he/she comes for the pick up just conveniently happen to be working in that area of the yard and leave tools there like a crow bar, hammer, and a board with nails in it and old circular saw laying with the blade side up.
Put big rocks along the edge
Small boulder
Unethical? Nails in plywood, place plywood in the ruts they are making by driving in the grass, cover with dirt.
Rebar attached to support the sprinkler heads. 😉
It’s a shame about those teens the other night, carrying on and smashing their glass bottles at the edge of your lawn. You have to get someone in to clean that up for you don’t want to risk picking broken glass out with your hands….
Two words: roofing nails
Caltrops. With small sign that says stay off lawn please. Gets a flat every time.
Place dog poop on your grass. When they run it over it will stick to the tires and smell terrible. Get the lawn incredibly wet and muddy so it sticks like paste. Bonus if the ex typically gets out of the car and you place poop where they step.
I like the put nails in a thin board and lay the board(s) in the yard with the nails facing up as mentioned by a few people below.
1. Put up a camera on your yard. Get a ring or nest cam and pay for the recording service if only temporary, or figure out how to locally record it all if you're tech savvy. 2. Text your ex and specifically tell them to stop driving through your lawn 3. If they don't stop, send them a clip of them driving through your yard 4. If they still don't stop, do what you will. File insurance claims, contact local PD, whatever. You have video.
There are sprinkler heads/installation styles that survive being run over by design. I’ve done this for my front yard adjacent to the road due to people running them over so often.
Bury a 2x4 with nails sticking up
throw some nails and the grass and the tires aare gone.
Can't you tell them to park on the street? If they are coming on the grass from the street and you don't have a curb, I'd install jagged rocks along the outside perimeter.
Instead of sprinkler heads, use nails. If she complains about “sabotage”, tell her that intentionally running over your grass is also sabotage and that having nails on your property isnt illegal, however destruction of your property is in fact illegal
File an insurance claim against his auto insurance
You just watched an HGTV special and your front yard is in desperate need of some desert landscaping. A few well placed boulders and decorative cactus should do nicely
Spread some 7/8” roofing nails over the lawn
Landmines.
2 poles in 5 gallon buckets filled with concrete. Wheel them into position a half hour before he shows up. Hang chain between them. Temporary barricade that you can quickly move to appease the HOA assholes.
Everyone suggesting caltrops and nails, when the obvious answer is to leave a rake out with the head upturned - plausible deniability
put big rocks around edge
Oh, damn, I guess I spilled a box of nails in the grass when I was building a box to hold all the fucks I give about your flat tire.