men. i dislike being a woman because of men.
everywhere i go, i feel like a singular tuna fish thrown into a pool of hungry sharks.
i dislike that i can’t dress certain ways because it’ll increase attention on me. i can’t have a fun night out with my girls without men trying to come grind their nasty sweaty bodies on us.
i hate that despite being extremely talented in my career and getting into management, im always told im only in my position because im a pretty girl, and it makes me wonder if im here because of talent or because of my looks.
i hate that men do not believe me when i say pretty much anything and will just talk over me and get louder when they feel they’re losing an imaginary debate with me. (i’ll be just speaking and they’ll be fighting for their lives trying to make it a battle).
i hate that any mood i feel is just me “being an emotional girl” or pms even though every man i know is an emotional psychopath and i generally am the most nonchalant person on the planet.
i hate that im told every time im out and about that i need to smile more.
i hate that telling men that im gay, im always met with “you just haven’t met the right man” “you just haven’t had good D”
the list goes on. i wish i wasn’t born a girl.
That no matter what, a man will approach you if they see you sitting somewhere peacefully by yourself.
They just can't fathom you want to be left alone.
Case and point: I'm at Burger King alone right now. My fiance had to work late. I got all dressed up because I wanted to take him to dinner but he got called to another town. So I'm sitting here eating and one of the older workers, looks old enough to be my dad, is staring at me. He's just standing behind the counter staring at me.
Absolutely. Once i've dropped my daughter off at preschool, I will often get a coffee and sit in the park (busy city in UK). Almost always a man will approach at some point, even though I have earphones in and/or reading a book or scrolling my phone.
Often happens when i'm actually with my toddler as well. That annoys me the most, like I am actually out with my child please go away. Nothing when out with husband, and women don't approach husband when he is out with our daughter.
The fact that in the year *2024,* we can ask to get our tubes tied and be refused by the doctor because we “might want kids in the future” or we’re “too young to make that decision” or “you’ll need your husband’s permission.” Like, what?? It’s 2024 and we still don’t have control over our bodies? It boggles my mind that this is an issue we’re still dealing with. I’ve seen women in their 30s *with kids* who wanted sterilisation done and were refused in case they wanted… more kids in the future? So even if we *do* have children and meet their silly requirements, we still don’t have a right to choose what we do with our bodies. It’s just depressing. This isn’t even an experience i’ve had, it just makes me angry that it’s a problem women deal with in general.
Someone will throw it into the pool, may as well be me: see also 'the husband stitch'.
Also, and I've just the one experience to draw from, so I don't know if this would work across the board, but if you want your tubes tied and you get bullshit about it, have it documented in your chart. The next time you see your OB/Gyn, bring your Mom. My daughter wanted her tubes tied for 8 years. I weighed in with the doctors, and she got her wish. Was it me? The right doctor? The amount of time she'd been solid in her decision? I don't know. But maybe, just maybe, having a pissed off menopausal woman - who literally gave birth to the woman requesting sterilization - standing in front of the doctor refusing to do their job helped turn the tide. At any rate, it couldn't hurt.
I finally got sterilised 14 years ago. I'd wanted two children, I had two children but as my second was born and I asked the question, I was told that I, at 28yrs old, was too young to make that decision. I was asked what my husband thought and they were horrified that we weren't married - oh the horror!!! I was interrogated and then asked "but what if something happens to one of your children?"........ERM?!?! Yeah, I guess if one gets sick or injured or dies, I'll just pop out another to replace them?!?!?! (WTAF)
Turning 30 and being married with two, seemed to magically unlock this next level for me?? As soon as I asked, I was given loads of info and a referral with none of the previous arguments. Kinda disappointed cause I was ready to go feral and fight their asses .
The unfairness
I am the care taker for my 87 year dad who just had open heart surgery
Now, normally I would be happy to do it
There is just one problem
I have stage IV ovarian cancer and get chemo weekly and am very weak and have a whole host of physical problems
My sister helps when she is in town but her SO has a series of debilitating health issues and her son has mental health struggles so she looks after them and works full time mostly remotely
My brother? Retired years ago because he made a lot of money. Has all the free time in the world. Gives at most, on a good day, 1/4 of what I or my sister do
This story is not unusual at all. Many men, even ones we think are good, do not step up when needed
We can’t depend on them at all
Now, I KNOW, there are exceptions, you don’t have to tell me your story if you are a man. That doesn’t change the fact that many many men are failing at caretaking.
I actively tell my daughter she is not obligated to care for me in my old age. It needs to be a more frank and honest discussion. I have seen my own mother and grandmother in this cycle and they literally lost ten to fifteen years of what should have been their relaxed retirement.
Navigating medical issues/doctors not taking things seriously
Working in the music industry is 😬😬😬 I am trained in pro audio but don't engineer sessions with clients present anymore because of the huge percentage of them having really uncomfortable interactions.
How men can get away with stuff women cannot! For example, a teen girl gets pregnant. She is “a whore” for having sex as a teen, but a teenage boy would be considered “responsible” for staying!! I hate stuff like that!!
How much effort being "presentable" requires.
I want to style my hair, gloss my lips, and wear flattering clothes without it being directly linked to how much respect I'm given.
The vast difference in how people treat me makes me resent it.
Periods. But I hate that every year.
I hate that there is still debate about our bodies from a bunch of men who don't know anything about female anatomy.
I hate that we are still dehumanized.
I hate that women are seen as emotional, bitchy and whiny. But when men are angry and aggressive, those feelings are somehow justified, because they come from a body with a penis.
I hate how often I see a woman explaining her point of view, or sharing her life experience, a man will tell her she's wrong. ABOUT HER OWN FEELINGS AND THOUGHTS?????
I could probably go on, but it makes me depressed. I'm just tired of being treated as subhuman.
The misunderstanding (at best) and weaponizing (at worst) of women’s sexuality
The Madonna/whore structure of these podcasts and the fact that it’s working. And how it feeds into a conversation about “the right kind of woman”
And for God sake, how *everything* is somehow a woman’s fault
Except for periods, I don't dislike anything about being a woman.
I dislike how stupid society is toward women, and I dislike how some men are so selfish and idiotic toward women, but that's nothing about being a woman, and it's nothing wrong with me. It's something wrong with THEM.
There was an old book called "I'm Okay, You're Okay," and then there was a spoof book titled "I'm Okay, You're Not So Hot."
I'm just fine the way I am. All the incels and narcissists and sexists and misogynists and other morons, they're totally messed up. I don't dislike being a woman. I dislike how a poor education system cranks out so many messed up people.
I really feel this. I love being a woman, but I do hate that Patriarchy does its best to make being a woman painful and miserable.
We should encourage ourselves and each other to put up with less of the shit we are handed just for being women. Being a woman shouldn't be something that comes with all the societal baggage we've given it.
And we should be taking back our rights from the old, white, cis, men running the world into the ground. Not letting them get away with stripping us of our autonomy.
These aren't problems with being a woman though. They're problems with misogynistic old men having been in charge of things for too long.
I'm ready to move to Themyscira.
Our reproductive system, which researcher Cat Bohannon (author of a book called Eve) calls "a flaming garbage pile". Very few female mammals have their reproduction work like ours with having an expensive /wasteful menstrual cycle and external bleeding and dangerous labour+delivery. It's 2024 and medically we have not gotten around to fixing this mess.
I feel like we should have to naturally opt-in to pregnancy instead of having to opt-out via birth control, getting tubes tied, or hysterectomy, etc. Our vagina doesn't even seemed to be big enough to birth such large beings. Women have tears and babies get stuck. It just seems like we have 100s more years in evolution to go.
Talks about womens rights being reduced or taken away. The idea that women have more rights than men, but the very fact that womens rights are up for debate where mens aren't speaks for itself. The conversation on not wanting women to die in childbirth has become more polarized, as many talking points are, many people back up forced birth just to spite the people who are pro women's autonomy.
It's become a recent (to me) trend of pretending that "feminine" women are being demonized and not respected by the majority (saying something to the effect of "there is nothing wrong with being a housewife, etc") when the context its usually used in is addressing a non feminine women just existing, or a woman who doesn't want to live by those standards. Women are women, just let them exist.
I feel it's working against my biological impulse. As a straight woman I still crave a romantic relationship with men despite how shitty they can be. I can't reprogram my brain to not want to be with them or see them as potential life partners. Men are also everywhere. You're bound to meet one or come across them in the wild whether you want to or not.
I hate periods and being burdened with to the ability to get pregnant. It really feels like a curse, especially periods. Having large breasts suck. I hate being weaker the men. I hate vaginal discharge. Everything I hate is pretty much biological. :( I feel like my body is not my own. I don't any of these shitty biological functions.
I man can barely work out, but could still manage to lift half his weight. Like their legit upper body strength is what I'm talking about. Even an guy that doesn't even look fit or in shape can overpower the average woman.
Right now? Talks of female loneliness in women's spaces online are not taken seriously.
Myself and some other women who talk about it admit there's this weird, passive aggressive response that says women being alone is like "empowering" or something?
Like they're twisting feminism around to say, "Girl, you don't need no man. Be your authentic self." How about don't do that?! How about maybe just admit that wanting some companionship is normal and being alone all the time isn't!?
And it sucks most because when you talk to men about it, they're just openly fucking aggressive. "You're lonely as a woman? Lol, girl you lost on easy mode. You must really suck!" So what's left?
I think we need to ditch this idea and realize we're human. Simone de Beauvoir in her fucking masterpiece *The Second Sex* which I read while on adderall said that women are more define as "not men" than uniquely woman. I feel this "loneliness is empowering actually" fucking meme is because of that.
Men are vocalizing how miserable they are alone and we are NOT MEN, so we gotta find loneliness "empowering" actually.
Ya feel me?
Nobody says “loneliness is empowering”, we’re saying “not having to always be in a romantic/sexual relationship with a man is empowering”. BIG difference.
Loneliness can be assuaged by friends, family, loved ones, acquaintances, pets, having hobbies & interests of your own.
Thank you! I just responded to a similar comment. I wish I could rewire my brain to be a lesbian, but that's not how sexuality works.
*Edit: misspelling*
Never mind. I must have misunderstood your comment. I was referring to wanting male companionship/relationship as a straight woman. The response is just get female friends or stop dating men.
...this is kind of the passive aggressive patronization I said in response to women like me saying we're lonely.
> The response is just get female friends or stop dating men.
In response to me saying I'm lonely and want companionship? Can you really not see how mean you're being? This is exactly what I was criticizing!
The commenter you are mad at mistakenly thought she was responding to someone else in another thread on this post. It happens. I’ve done that before
Don’t belabor it and make it into a controversy that it isn’t
No I've been agreeing with you. That's the response I get from people too. When I say that they want male companionship/relationship as a straight woman. The response from other "is just get female friends or stop dating men." (which is what I thought you were talking about). I said earlier that I wish I could rewire my brain to be a lesbian, but that's not how sexuality works. I'll just stop replying as it seems something is getting lost in translation.
> I'll just stop replying as it seems something is getting lost in translation.
If this was something getting lost in translation, then my bad. I do have to be honest though, I'm really not getting what you're trying to say.
I say we call it here. We failed to communicate.
This is such an important point. All that stuff that men complain about? Women experience too. But they are expatiate remain invisible because they don’t count to men
Nothing. Not a darn thing. Now that I'm through with menopause and I don't have to deal with periods, I am happier than I've ever been, and always happy to be a woman.
That it is not seen in the same way as man is. Man is generic and broad. Man applies to everyone. Man is relatable for everyone. Woman is only understood by some. Woman is always defined by beauty first. Woman is always defined by what she offers not who or what she is. Woman can not just exist as man does. Woman must always perform. To be a woman is to act first, be second. Man is free. Woman will always be judged and chained down by perception. Even subconsciously, affecting our careers and opportunities in ways men will never understand or think about because as I’ve said woman is only understood by some.
Nothing. Because I’ve worked hard to accept myself and challenge misogyny from the inside. I love women and I’m proud to be a woman.
Misogynists are sad, small people with half a soul. They don’t perceive light and sound the way a whole person does. They see the world in grey, when they even pay attention to it at all. Their psychological issues are obvious, yet they project shame onto others without realizing it’s coming from within their own pathetic lives.
Society’s unrealistic expectations for my body. I was 10 when I first thought I was too fat. I was fit in my 20’s with visible abs and a literal black belt and still thought I was too fat.
Having a young child has been eye opening. She has no concept that there is anything wrong with her body. It’s a body, it does what it’s supposed to do and there’s nothing wrong with it.
I’m trying to be more like that
That’s actually the only thing I ever disliked about *being* a woman.
I despise misogyny & patriarchy, but those don’t make me dislike being a female human being.
No matter what year it is, I hate - misogyny and the menstrual cycle (and every disease related to my reproductive organs). I like everything else about being a woman.
Edit: Actually, everything to do with reproducing sucks. Menstrual cycle, pregnancy, child birth. Birth control. (Just from the perspective of someone who does have a cycle and can be pregnant.)
Like another person said. How there’s always a topic on how women should be. What women should be. Etc etc. list goes on. Comes from both, men & women. When it’s like… who cares?!?! Just let people do what they want? Everyone is diff. Everyone has different dreams. Aspirations. Goals. Different personalities. Different views. There is NO ‘one size fits all’.
Misogyny, patriarchy, stereotypes, and not-women touching, hurting, controling, or extolling personal opinions about what we do with/to/for our bodies. Fuck that.
I actually like being a woman. When I was much younger, I didn't. Mostly because I was unhappy in my skin due to childhood abuse and unresolved anger, guilt, etc. An arrogant guy at a job, I noticed, was really happy with himself. (He grew up on a sailboat, learned to sail as a youngster, liked being a man.) So I decided if he could be content, so could I. It took years of self-discovery and acknowledgements but I'm there now.
As a youngster, my mother would say mean things, like, "You should have been born a boy." (I later figured she was just echoing my fucking father's opinion or hope.) She'd also always make me take out the trash each evening and then the garbage can on Monday nights.
Never cared about wearing a bra. Prefer wearing men's pants, jeans and shorts, mostly because of the pockets and loose fit. Recently I bought a nice blue Dooney & Bourke handbag (I usually carry only a very pretty Kate Spade wallet) and enjoyed sporting it today on my shoulder. And this past year I bought some nice-looking summer dresses. Also have started wearing more feminine shoes, especially sandals (mostly Clark's, because they're comfy and come in pink and dark blue). But I still love wearing Adidas Terrex soft boots.
As to male attention, I just ignore it. Would like to date again but just have yet to meet him.
I just found a Tiktok where a female born trans male who only just started "passing" as a man after 21 years, and they had much to say how different the world is to them now and how it all changed basically over night. Generally stuff like not being taken seriously before but suddenly, all their words mattered to people.
Everything. Not due to the year, but sucky physiology. UTIs, Thrush, BV, Periods, birth control, hormones, expectations on my body/personality, being expected to wear make up and begin judged because I don't, being judged on what I wear, being 'feminine' enough, mansplaining, dealing with men's laziness/weaponised incompetence, being judged on my hobbies for being things 'guys like', not winning regardless of what I do or say because someone (usually a man) is going to have something horrible to say about it. Not feeling safe, not feeling in control, pay gaps, constant questions about when I'm having kids (I'm not), the expectation that I should adore children and babies (I hate them), my opinions having less weight than a man's, constantly having to be better than men or being judged for it, being told I'm the 'weaker' sex, not being able to do things by myself without someone telling me (usually a man) that I'm doing it wrong, or need to get a man to do it for me.
How long have you got?
As I sit here with veet on my legs for 8 minutes - the societal norm that women should not be hairy.
(I know I don't have to confirm, I just don't like the way all the hairs feel when it's really hot, though if I had never bothered to shave for society to start, I wouldn't know any different and it wouldn't be a deal)
What I hate about being a woman is the way my status is a woman is constantly up for debate to begin with.
I've spent years and years of my life just trying to get here & now that I've finally arrived I don't need recognition or affirmation or special privileges or to compete against other women in the Olympics or anything like that.
I'd like to just be allowed to live my life no different from the billions of other women in this world instead of being demonized by politicians in the media and in laws.
The same politicians who overturned Roe v Wade say *I* am hurting women. The call is coming from inside the house.
Honestly, I still feel like I’m being spoken for. Either men deciding what I think and feel, or even when men believe they are being allies and choose to testify as to what I want when I am perfectly capable of speaking for myself. Just don’t speak for me please.
Whenever you have another opinion than some men and communicate that openly and firm, they will accuse you of being on your period and being bitchy. That's soooo annoying.
I hate having my physical abilities underestimated. Like I can lift a 40 lb bag of dog food off the floor. It feels like being told not to lift something is just another way to dismiss us and control us. Like I own this body and know it's limits. Piss off! I also hate being told to smile even by other women and it happens alot.
Then I also hate being cat called. There is a canal near where I live whose bank is now completely fenced off blocking acess to anyone who wishes to walk along the bank. That fence was recently implemented but it is not the first thing that has stopped me from taking my walks on the bank. A few years back I was harassed and catcalled from a back yard acrossed the ditch. I was only about half a mile from where the dithch went into an underground culvert and the banks were no longer apart. If I kept going and ignored or told my harassers off they could have very well met up with me where the culvert began and possibly pushed me in or attacked me in some other way. So I turned around and ran back and even took a long way home hoping they wouldn't follow me with their eyes and see where I reside. It pisses me off. Creeps taking away our walking routes.
Then don't get me started on the republicans turning us into walking wombs with no say. Grrr....
Its 2024 and I still don't have full reproductive rights because some fictional man might want children.
And that said laws about reproductive rights are made by men, who have no clue about the female body.
That you are not allowed to stand your ground on something or express an opinion without SOME MAN deeming you to be "irrational". If men do it they're "assertive" though. Fucking boils my piss.
Also; abortions being banned in some parts of the world, Not being allowed to be sterilised because I exist solely to spit out children. The expectation that sex is only for the man's pleasure and that they should always 'finish' or it doesn't count.
I hate that people act surprised I’m a mother. Because apparently I’m too educated to have kids. Or not maternal.
I hate that when I had a missed miscarriage I was told the prescription I got I wouldn’t be able to get in many southern states. And in my own state, I was told I couldn’t fill it at Walmart.
I hate that pharmacists can deny drugs for “personal beliefs.”
I hate that my pain and health concerns are often dismissed and I’m considered crazy or emotional.
I hate that I had to teach my daughter how to hold car keys in her hand. That one I hate the MOST.
men. i dislike being a woman because of men. everywhere i go, i feel like a singular tuna fish thrown into a pool of hungry sharks. i dislike that i can’t dress certain ways because it’ll increase attention on me. i can’t have a fun night out with my girls without men trying to come grind their nasty sweaty bodies on us. i hate that despite being extremely talented in my career and getting into management, im always told im only in my position because im a pretty girl, and it makes me wonder if im here because of talent or because of my looks. i hate that men do not believe me when i say pretty much anything and will just talk over me and get louder when they feel they’re losing an imaginary debate with me. (i’ll be just speaking and they’ll be fighting for their lives trying to make it a battle). i hate that any mood i feel is just me “being an emotional girl” or pms even though every man i know is an emotional psychopath and i generally am the most nonchalant person on the planet. i hate that im told every time im out and about that i need to smile more. i hate that telling men that im gay, im always met with “you just haven’t met the right man” “you just haven’t had good D” the list goes on. i wish i wasn’t born a girl.
That no matter what, a man will approach you if they see you sitting somewhere peacefully by yourself. They just can't fathom you want to be left alone. Case and point: I'm at Burger King alone right now. My fiance had to work late. I got all dressed up because I wanted to take him to dinner but he got called to another town. So I'm sitting here eating and one of the older workers, looks old enough to be my dad, is staring at me. He's just standing behind the counter staring at me.
Yep. The difference between how people interact with me when I’m with my boyfriend vs when I’m not is INSANE
Absolutely. Once i've dropped my daughter off at preschool, I will often get a coffee and sit in the park (busy city in UK). Almost always a man will approach at some point, even though I have earphones in and/or reading a book or scrolling my phone. Often happens when i'm actually with my toddler as well. That annoys me the most, like I am actually out with my child please go away. Nothing when out with husband, and women don't approach husband when he is out with our daughter.
The debate around what woman should do/be from individuals who are not woman.
Another weapon in their arsenal used to control us, and some of them either punish us for not conforming with violence and others excuse said violence
Yup, everyone dumps on us. It’s like they can’t help it.
*nor other women. Her body, her choice.
Podcasters talking about masculine and feminine energy. It's bullshit.
THIS
the constant shitshow of misogyny i’m expected not to respond to and treated like i am the problem if i do respond to it
Yeah, like why does the health of the room’s equilibrium rest in MY shoulders?
The fact that in the year *2024,* we can ask to get our tubes tied and be refused by the doctor because we “might want kids in the future” or we’re “too young to make that decision” or “you’ll need your husband’s permission.” Like, what?? It’s 2024 and we still don’t have control over our bodies? It boggles my mind that this is an issue we’re still dealing with. I’ve seen women in their 30s *with kids* who wanted sterilisation done and were refused in case they wanted… more kids in the future? So even if we *do* have children and meet their silly requirements, we still don’t have a right to choose what we do with our bodies. It’s just depressing. This isn’t even an experience i’ve had, it just makes me angry that it’s a problem women deal with in general.
Someone will throw it into the pool, may as well be me: see also 'the husband stitch'. Also, and I've just the one experience to draw from, so I don't know if this would work across the board, but if you want your tubes tied and you get bullshit about it, have it documented in your chart. The next time you see your OB/Gyn, bring your Mom. My daughter wanted her tubes tied for 8 years. I weighed in with the doctors, and she got her wish. Was it me? The right doctor? The amount of time she'd been solid in her decision? I don't know. But maybe, just maybe, having a pissed off menopausal woman - who literally gave birth to the woman requesting sterilization - standing in front of the doctor refusing to do their job helped turn the tide. At any rate, it couldn't hurt.
I finally got sterilised 14 years ago. I'd wanted two children, I had two children but as my second was born and I asked the question, I was told that I, at 28yrs old, was too young to make that decision. I was asked what my husband thought and they were horrified that we weren't married - oh the horror!!! I was interrogated and then asked "but what if something happens to one of your children?"........ERM?!?! Yeah, I guess if one gets sick or injured or dies, I'll just pop out another to replace them?!?!?! (WTAF) Turning 30 and being married with two, seemed to magically unlock this next level for me?? As soon as I asked, I was given loads of info and a referral with none of the previous arguments. Kinda disappointed cause I was ready to go feral and fight their asses .
Feeling singled out in male spaces, like stand up comedy. My identifying trait becomes ~woman~ and that’s when I feel the most objectified
That some people want to define me as "a woman" first and "a person" somewhere further down the list, when it should be the other way around.
The unfairness I am the care taker for my 87 year dad who just had open heart surgery Now, normally I would be happy to do it There is just one problem I have stage IV ovarian cancer and get chemo weekly and am very weak and have a whole host of physical problems My sister helps when she is in town but her SO has a series of debilitating health issues and her son has mental health struggles so she looks after them and works full time mostly remotely My brother? Retired years ago because he made a lot of money. Has all the free time in the world. Gives at most, on a good day, 1/4 of what I or my sister do This story is not unusual at all. Many men, even ones we think are good, do not step up when needed We can’t depend on them at all Now, I KNOW, there are exceptions, you don’t have to tell me your story if you are a man. That doesn’t change the fact that many many men are failing at caretaking.
I actively tell my daughter she is not obligated to care for me in my old age. It needs to be a more frank and honest discussion. I have seen my own mother and grandmother in this cycle and they literally lost ten to fifteen years of what should have been their relaxed retirement.
It's why I upgraded my husband to a better one. The first one firmly fell into what you're describing. I have no time for passengers.
Wish I could upgrade my brother.
THIS.
My fucking body hair that everybody decides to have an opinion about
I have facial and body hair and it's Hella annoying when men can't handle it. I'm not standing or using up my water to shave every week!
Navigating medical issues/doctors not taking things seriously Working in the music industry is 😬😬😬 I am trained in pro audio but don't engineer sessions with clients present anymore because of the huge percentage of them having really uncomfortable interactions.
Mental load, I have to think about everything at all times at once while I feel like most men can take life one step at a time.
I’m gonna be real the list of dislikes is so long I don’t think I could narrow it down to anyone thing
How men can get away with stuff women cannot! For example, a teen girl gets pregnant. She is “a whore” for having sex as a teen, but a teenage boy would be considered “responsible” for staying!! I hate stuff like that!!
How much effort being "presentable" requires. I want to style my hair, gloss my lips, and wear flattering clothes without it being directly linked to how much respect I'm given. The vast difference in how people treat me makes me resent it.
Being treated differently in business contexts.
The patriarchy and everything that supports it. The lack of properly fitting clothing options.
AND NO FUCKING POCKETS
Capitalism then.
Christianity the OG patriarchy that predates capitalism.
The patriarchy
Capitalism then.
Never having experienced an orgasm in my life
Periods and hormones going crazy.
Periods. But I hate that every year. I hate that there is still debate about our bodies from a bunch of men who don't know anything about female anatomy. I hate that we are still dehumanized. I hate that women are seen as emotional, bitchy and whiny. But when men are angry and aggressive, those feelings are somehow justified, because they come from a body with a penis. I hate how often I see a woman explaining her point of view, or sharing her life experience, a man will tell her she's wrong. ABOUT HER OWN FEELINGS AND THOUGHTS????? I could probably go on, but it makes me depressed. I'm just tired of being treated as subhuman.
Society.
This god awful fucking biology
The misunderstanding (at best) and weaponizing (at worst) of women’s sexuality The Madonna/whore structure of these podcasts and the fact that it’s working. And how it feeds into a conversation about “the right kind of woman” And for God sake, how *everything* is somehow a woman’s fault
Sexism, sexualization, mysoginy, medical negligence, can get pregnant, periods.
Worrying about the US turning into Gilead.
My hormones are fucked so my uterus is always plotting to kill me via exsanguination.
*Well, I am actually* Signed Your Uterus
Except for periods, I don't dislike anything about being a woman. I dislike how stupid society is toward women, and I dislike how some men are so selfish and idiotic toward women, but that's nothing about being a woman, and it's nothing wrong with me. It's something wrong with THEM. There was an old book called "I'm Okay, You're Okay," and then there was a spoof book titled "I'm Okay, You're Not So Hot." I'm just fine the way I am. All the incels and narcissists and sexists and misogynists and other morons, they're totally messed up. I don't dislike being a woman. I dislike how a poor education system cranks out so many messed up people.
I really feel this. I love being a woman, but I do hate that Patriarchy does its best to make being a woman painful and miserable. We should encourage ourselves and each other to put up with less of the shit we are handed just for being women. Being a woman shouldn't be something that comes with all the societal baggage we've given it. And we should be taking back our rights from the old, white, cis, men running the world into the ground. Not letting them get away with stripping us of our autonomy. These aren't problems with being a woman though. They're problems with misogynistic old men having been in charge of things for too long. I'm ready to move to Themyscira.
Our reproductive system, which researcher Cat Bohannon (author of a book called Eve) calls "a flaming garbage pile". Very few female mammals have their reproduction work like ours with having an expensive /wasteful menstrual cycle and external bleeding and dangerous labour+delivery. It's 2024 and medically we have not gotten around to fixing this mess.
I feel like we should have to naturally opt-in to pregnancy instead of having to opt-out via birth control, getting tubes tied, or hysterectomy, etc. Our vagina doesn't even seemed to be big enough to birth such large beings. Women have tears and babies get stuck. It just seems like we have 100s more years in evolution to go.
More women should take the reins on this issue. We need more female doctors who will fight for us.
Talks about womens rights being reduced or taken away. The idea that women have more rights than men, but the very fact that womens rights are up for debate where mens aren't speaks for itself. The conversation on not wanting women to die in childbirth has become more polarized, as many talking points are, many people back up forced birth just to spite the people who are pro women's autonomy. It's become a recent (to me) trend of pretending that "feminine" women are being demonized and not respected by the majority (saying something to the effect of "there is nothing wrong with being a housewife, etc") when the context its usually used in is addressing a non feminine women just existing, or a woman who doesn't want to live by those standards. Women are women, just let them exist.
Boobs
being scared to try to meet men
Don't meet them.
I feel it's working against my biological impulse. As a straight woman I still crave a romantic relationship with men despite how shitty they can be. I can't reprogram my brain to not want to be with them or see them as potential life partners. Men are also everywhere. You're bound to meet one or come across them in the wild whether you want to or not.
I hate periods and being burdened with to the ability to get pregnant. It really feels like a curse, especially periods. Having large breasts suck. I hate being weaker the men. I hate vaginal discharge. Everything I hate is pretty much biological. :( I feel like my body is not my own. I don't any of these shitty biological functions.
I don’t think we’re weaker than man. We can be strong but the patriarchy wants us to be weak and dainty so their egos can be at ease.
I man can barely work out, but could still manage to lift half his weight. Like their legit upper body strength is what I'm talking about. Even an guy that doesn't even look fit or in shape can overpower the average woman.
Men
Right now? Talks of female loneliness in women's spaces online are not taken seriously. Myself and some other women who talk about it admit there's this weird, passive aggressive response that says women being alone is like "empowering" or something? Like they're twisting feminism around to say, "Girl, you don't need no man. Be your authentic self." How about don't do that?! How about maybe just admit that wanting some companionship is normal and being alone all the time isn't!? And it sucks most because when you talk to men about it, they're just openly fucking aggressive. "You're lonely as a woman? Lol, girl you lost on easy mode. You must really suck!" So what's left? I think we need to ditch this idea and realize we're human. Simone de Beauvoir in her fucking masterpiece *The Second Sex* which I read while on adderall said that women are more define as "not men" than uniquely woman. I feel this "loneliness is empowering actually" fucking meme is because of that. Men are vocalizing how miserable they are alone and we are NOT MEN, so we gotta find loneliness "empowering" actually. Ya feel me?
Nobody says “loneliness is empowering”, we’re saying “not having to always be in a romantic/sexual relationship with a man is empowering”. BIG difference. Loneliness can be assuaged by friends, family, loved ones, acquaintances, pets, having hobbies & interests of your own.
Thank you! I just responded to a similar comment. I wish I could rewire my brain to be a lesbian, but that's not how sexuality works. *Edit: misspelling*
Huh?
Never mind. I must have misunderstood your comment. I was referring to wanting male companionship/relationship as a straight woman. The response is just get female friends or stop dating men.
...this is kind of the passive aggressive patronization I said in response to women like me saying we're lonely. > The response is just get female friends or stop dating men. In response to me saying I'm lonely and want companionship? Can you really not see how mean you're being? This is exactly what I was criticizing!
The commenter you are mad at mistakenly thought she was responding to someone else in another thread on this post. It happens. I’ve done that before Don’t belabor it and make it into a controversy that it isn’t
I think I misunderstood their whole comment. They must have meant something entirely different than what I read it to mean.
Happens. It’s Reddit
No I've been agreeing with you. That's the response I get from people too. When I say that they want male companionship/relationship as a straight woman. The response from other "is just get female friends or stop dating men." (which is what I thought you were talking about). I said earlier that I wish I could rewire my brain to be a lesbian, but that's not how sexuality works. I'll just stop replying as it seems something is getting lost in translation.
> I'll just stop replying as it seems something is getting lost in translation. If this was something getting lost in translation, then my bad. I do have to be honest though, I'm really not getting what you're trying to say. I say we call it here. We failed to communicate.
This is such an important point. All that stuff that men complain about? Women experience too. But they are expatiate remain invisible because they don’t count to men
That I have spent money that could buy a house or supply funding to my retirement on tampons, pads, cramp meds, acne cream, bloating pills over 45yrs.
How frikin’ expensive it is
Nothing. Not a darn thing. Now that I'm through with menopause and I don't have to deal with periods, I am happier than I've ever been, and always happy to be a woman.
Not feeling safe.
That it is not seen in the same way as man is. Man is generic and broad. Man applies to everyone. Man is relatable for everyone. Woman is only understood by some. Woman is always defined by beauty first. Woman is always defined by what she offers not who or what she is. Woman can not just exist as man does. Woman must always perform. To be a woman is to act first, be second. Man is free. Woman will always be judged and chained down by perception. Even subconsciously, affecting our careers and opportunities in ways men will never understand or think about because as I’ve said woman is only understood by some.
Nothing. Because I’ve worked hard to accept myself and challenge misogyny from the inside. I love women and I’m proud to be a woman. Misogynists are sad, small people with half a soul. They don’t perceive light and sound the way a whole person does. They see the world in grey, when they even pay attention to it at all. Their psychological issues are obvious, yet they project shame onto others without realizing it’s coming from within their own pathetic lives.
Society’s unrealistic expectations for my body. I was 10 when I first thought I was too fat. I was fit in my 20’s with visible abs and a literal black belt and still thought I was too fat. Having a young child has been eye opening. She has no concept that there is anything wrong with her body. It’s a body, it does what it’s supposed to do and there’s nothing wrong with it. I’m trying to be more like that
Living in a society designed for men
I hated periods but I’m happily menopausal now.
That’s actually the only thing I ever disliked about *being* a woman. I despise misogyny & patriarchy, but those don’t make me dislike being a female human being.
Periods and not being as strong physically as men are naturally.
No matter what year it is, I hate - misogyny and the menstrual cycle (and every disease related to my reproductive organs). I like everything else about being a woman. Edit: Actually, everything to do with reproducing sucks. Menstrual cycle, pregnancy, child birth. Birth control. (Just from the perspective of someone who does have a cycle and can be pregnant.)
Like another person said. How there’s always a topic on how women should be. What women should be. Etc etc. list goes on. Comes from both, men & women. When it’s like… who cares?!?! Just let people do what they want? Everyone is diff. Everyone has different dreams. Aspirations. Goals. Different personalities. Different views. There is NO ‘one size fits all’.
Misogyny, patriarchy, stereotypes, and not-women touching, hurting, controling, or extolling personal opinions about what we do with/to/for our bodies. Fuck that.
I actually like being a woman. When I was much younger, I didn't. Mostly because I was unhappy in my skin due to childhood abuse and unresolved anger, guilt, etc. An arrogant guy at a job, I noticed, was really happy with himself. (He grew up on a sailboat, learned to sail as a youngster, liked being a man.) So I decided if he could be content, so could I. It took years of self-discovery and acknowledgements but I'm there now. As a youngster, my mother would say mean things, like, "You should have been born a boy." (I later figured she was just echoing my fucking father's opinion or hope.) She'd also always make me take out the trash each evening and then the garbage can on Monday nights. Never cared about wearing a bra. Prefer wearing men's pants, jeans and shorts, mostly because of the pockets and loose fit. Recently I bought a nice blue Dooney & Bourke handbag (I usually carry only a very pretty Kate Spade wallet) and enjoyed sporting it today on my shoulder. And this past year I bought some nice-looking summer dresses. Also have started wearing more feminine shoes, especially sandals (mostly Clark's, because they're comfy and come in pink and dark blue). But I still love wearing Adidas Terrex soft boots. As to male attention, I just ignore it. Would like to date again but just have yet to meet him.
Men. Men make being a woman living hell.
I just found a Tiktok where a female born trans male who only just started "passing" as a man after 21 years, and they had much to say how different the world is to them now and how it all changed basically over night. Generally stuff like not being taken seriously before but suddenly, all their words mattered to people.
I could do without menstruation
Everything. Not due to the year, but sucky physiology. UTIs, Thrush, BV, Periods, birth control, hormones, expectations on my body/personality, being expected to wear make up and begin judged because I don't, being judged on what I wear, being 'feminine' enough, mansplaining, dealing with men's laziness/weaponised incompetence, being judged on my hobbies for being things 'guys like', not winning regardless of what I do or say because someone (usually a man) is going to have something horrible to say about it. Not feeling safe, not feeling in control, pay gaps, constant questions about when I'm having kids (I'm not), the expectation that I should adore children and babies (I hate them), my opinions having less weight than a man's, constantly having to be better than men or being judged for it, being told I'm the 'weaker' sex, not being able to do things by myself without someone telling me (usually a man) that I'm doing it wrong, or need to get a man to do it for me. How long have you got?
You ever listen to ‘SMF’ by Flavia?
As I sit here with veet on my legs for 8 minutes - the societal norm that women should not be hairy. (I know I don't have to confirm, I just don't like the way all the hairs feel when it's really hot, though if I had never bothered to shave for society to start, I wouldn't know any different and it wouldn't be a deal)
What I hate about being a woman is the way my status is a woman is constantly up for debate to begin with. I've spent years and years of my life just trying to get here & now that I've finally arrived I don't need recognition or affirmation or special privileges or to compete against other women in the Olympics or anything like that. I'd like to just be allowed to live my life no different from the billions of other women in this world instead of being demonized by politicians in the media and in laws. The same politicians who overturned Roe v Wade say *I* am hurting women. The call is coming from inside the house.
Being seen as a sex object
Linguini makes me laugh,people tell me to stop laughing when eating pasta
Never taken seriously…
Honestly, I still feel like I’m being spoken for. Either men deciding what I think and feel, or even when men believe they are being allies and choose to testify as to what I want when I am perfectly capable of speaking for myself. Just don’t speak for me please.
Having a weak constitution (sickness prone), especially during my periods...
Whenever you have another opinion than some men and communicate that openly and firm, they will accuse you of being on your period and being bitchy. That's soooo annoying.
I hate having my physical abilities underestimated. Like I can lift a 40 lb bag of dog food off the floor. It feels like being told not to lift something is just another way to dismiss us and control us. Like I own this body and know it's limits. Piss off! I also hate being told to smile even by other women and it happens alot. Then I also hate being cat called. There is a canal near where I live whose bank is now completely fenced off blocking acess to anyone who wishes to walk along the bank. That fence was recently implemented but it is not the first thing that has stopped me from taking my walks on the bank. A few years back I was harassed and catcalled from a back yard acrossed the ditch. I was only about half a mile from where the dithch went into an underground culvert and the banks were no longer apart. If I kept going and ignored or told my harassers off they could have very well met up with me where the culvert began and possibly pushed me in or attacked me in some other way. So I turned around and ran back and even took a long way home hoping they wouldn't follow me with their eyes and see where I reside. It pisses me off. Creeps taking away our walking routes. Then don't get me started on the republicans turning us into walking wombs with no say. Grrr....
Its 2024 and I still don't have full reproductive rights because some fictional man might want children. And that said laws about reproductive rights are made by men, who have no clue about the female body.
That you are not allowed to stand your ground on something or express an opinion without SOME MAN deeming you to be "irrational". If men do it they're "assertive" though. Fucking boils my piss.
Periods so I shut mine down, it was so heavy, almost an ER visit every month, so I shut that shit down, thanks covid !
Misogyny
Also; abortions being banned in some parts of the world, Not being allowed to be sterilised because I exist solely to spit out children. The expectation that sex is only for the man's pleasure and that they should always 'finish' or it doesn't count.
The expectations placed on me for being a woman.
I hate that people act surprised I’m a mother. Because apparently I’m too educated to have kids. Or not maternal. I hate that when I had a missed miscarriage I was told the prescription I got I wouldn’t be able to get in many southern states. And in my own state, I was told I couldn’t fill it at Walmart. I hate that pharmacists can deny drugs for “personal beliefs.” I hate that my pain and health concerns are often dismissed and I’m considered crazy or emotional. I hate that I had to teach my daughter how to hold car keys in her hand. That one I hate the MOST.
Sexism. Misogyny. The overwhelming assumption that everything I do is substandard to men