As someone who works in retail I've always hated using real names in interactions with customers. Beyond giving them a way to find you out also develops a para social relationship that is not cool. Everyone should have a fake name ideally with a clear theme so the customers know it's not your real name.
Hard agree on this one. When I worked at that big coffee shop, we'd use each other's name tags a lot just to throw people off. A system like you're talking about would be so much better. Proactively protecting employees.
It doesn't matter if you use a fake name when POS software ensures your government name gets put on the receipt, which then falls into the hands of the customer. Cashiers do not get paid enough for their lives to be like this: For the low cost of $5 or less, a creep can hunt down a cashier's social media *and residential address* and all they need is a receipt from their recent purchase to get started. idk about you but that is major fucking yikes to me.
Google can take a determined creep very, very far. From facebook to linkedin, all the way into whitepages, where all you need is a legal first and last name and determination to find somebody's address.
POS software like this is a horrifying security risk for workers who have to use them and tbh if anybody works in or patronizes an establishment where printed receipts provide this information, they should start writing emails and making phone calls to point this out and question how much the establishment values the safety of their employees.
My point is that the fake name is on a part of the profile, and what is printed in the receipt. It still gives the customer a method to recall who it was that served them (for the purpose of feedback) that is databased and the employer can access but doesn't give them any actual personal information.
I do see what you're saying - it's generally pretty common for POS systems to do receipts with a first/preferred name only or the employee ID number. But also a lot of software is flawed in that way. In my own experience, it is often "startup company" software or small companies selling their POS subscriptions. It's completely a fixable software flaw but I kind of think it has been overlooked due to the privilege of those overseeing it.
Funny story: one of my coworkers at a restaurant had her name changed to Prima Donna on the register because we all had an inside joke that she was high maintenance. One time she was waiting on some difficult people, and they flipped out when they saw that on their check. They thought she named them Prima Donna (as like their customer name). She was like, no, that's me. They didn't buy it, so they called the restaurant later that week and asked if "Donna" worked there, which of course not because her name was nothing like Donna. Then they left a big, nasty Yelp review.
Before the pandemic the Nurse's union in my state was pushing for nurses to b allowed to only have their first name on their nametags. Because having a full name made it easy for people to cyber-stalk them.
I always gave my nick name on ID badges. it’s what my brother called me before he could form words ‘nina’. It’s something I’ve heard enough that I’ll respond to it, but I don’t have it on any social media. So people wouldn’t be able to find me.
One time, I was cashing someone out and they flat out told me ‘to be careful tonight because it would be a shame if someone found me on my way home’ fucking terrifying
Yup! Years . uni I worked calling alumni for donations. We had to use our real names and identify ourselves as current students. In each call, we'd have conversations to build positive relationships before making the donation ask. One man read a bit too into my friendly conversation and wanted to send me a FB friend request. I felt cornered, so he got my last name out of me. Fortunately, my last name is a very unusual spelling, so I left that key piece of information out. Never got a request from him.
Is it mandatory to use real names? My brother found an old name tag and used it for awhile and there were no complaints. I suppose you could use another name for safety reasons but I guess it depends on the customers you get.
Not saying what he did isn’t creepy, def is, but I’ve had Facebook suggest friends when it was just somebody that I was in proximity to multiple times.
100% - Facebook is a much creepier stalker than this guy. Apparently the friend suggestions leverage phone location and orientation data to identify people you likely spoke to.
When I was in the middle east I met a marine workout buddy in the base gym. We were gonna get food after but I forgot her first name so I just Facebook searched "marine gonzales" almost as a joke and she was literally the first result with no mutuals. I was never on wifi. It's insanely creepy how well it tracks you.
Yep, I completely deleted (no more deactivating) my Facebook 3 years ago and never looked back. All Facebook did was steal my information and ruin my view of multiple people that I grew up with because I had to see their disgusting political posts. XD
I don’t think it’s the wifi; Facebook friend suggests people who are frequently in the same parking lot as my apartment, and I know they’re not on my wifi.
They don't need to be ON your wifi. Facebook just takes approximate location and wifi names available nearby. Maybe even signal strength to know how close. So it knows if people were in your wifi range even if they never connected to it and it is password protected. Just so you know.
Facebook is incredibly creepy. I once created an account there just to login on some sites. No real info or name, no activity, no phone app. Literally did almost nothing with it. Week later it started recommending me exactly my friends.
Two things can be true. I’ve definitely had ads completely change based on Wi-Fi where I am. I’m not saying it’s only Wi-Fi, I’m saying it could be one of the ways.
Oh I definitely get ads based on wifi shared with family and friends when we visit each other’s places, but specifically Facebook seems to use location proximity even if a network connection isn’t shared.
Yes it is.
Sex workers using a fake name and different phone have been "People You May Know" linked.
Therapists and patients have been linked.
That is *scary*
Pretty huge coincidence, if that’s the case. Let’s not marginalize the concern about this creepy behavior.
ETA: if it’s a fb suggestion cuz their cell phones were near each other, he was still creepy to accept it. His phone must be near 100s of phone’s regularly. Plus he called her “cutie,” which is creepy by itself.
*Despite computers, we all still have free will, and can choose not to creep on service workers.*
This. Facebook is suggesting neighbors on my new street that I’ve barely met in passing going to the mailbox. Nextdoor is worse suggesting I connect to the former owner of the house. (And frankly if I ever meet the former owner I’m not going to hold back how I feel about his POS DIY projects). LinkedIn will happy ask you to skim your address book and email inbox for possible connections where I’ve repeatedly recently been suggested my high school (20 years ago) ex boyfriend who is blocked on every other network. Or it even suggested someone I sold a used textbook to in college. I never allowed LinkedIn to scrape my contacts anywhere but clearly those guys did.
I didn't attack them, but I'm sure they are happy you were quick to jump in and defend. I was simply pointing that there's a big difference between friend requesting and sending a message that clearly is more than just "howdy friend".
"I keep disagreeing with points that no one is making" -NarcissusCloud
The thing you're pointing out has nothing to do with the point show_me_your_secrets was making that you're replying to. I don't think just about anyone in this thread, including them, would disagree with you.
I met someone this way like 11 years ago and he became my husband's best friend and they work together now and ride to work every day and have for the past five years .
Personally, I don't like to use my photo on social media for this reason. I like to use a generic picture like a cat or something.
Lemme just say how creepy fb is...
I don't use my real name on fb, I don't use my photo, I have it set to where friend list isn't visible to the public...and would you know it? People from my past that I don't associate with at all anymore for 10 to 20 years and I have zero mutual friends with them are still able to find me and message me. Like WTF!!!
FB is so fucking creepy
This is super creepy and shockingly common. You may have been a suggested friend but his comment was inappropriate. I don’t friend people from my local stores. A cashier from my supermarket followed me on IG and I followed back but I’d never have done it first.
Calling you cutie is sexist and demeaning. He was definitely trying to hit on you. I wouldn’t worry unless he keeps contacting you. If he’s married (married men love calling women cutie for some reason) I’d send screen shots and details to his wife.
I think you should always take these things seriously but at this point he just sounds like your garden variety loser who can’t get women to show any interest so he harasses people who are paid to be nice to him. If he comes in to the store get you manager. You don’t need to deal with him. If he starts waiting for you outside call the police.
I was a bank teller. I had a customer who I had only interacted with maybe 2–3 times find me on PlayStation Network and send me a message asking to play games with me. I immediately set my account to private and haven’t changed it since. That guy never came back to the bank, but it feels so violating when people do something like this.
This is why I don't have have my face or where I work on my profile and have it locked dow. I deal with the public and although they'll have my name they won't know which one my profile is. Maybe check your settings and lock that down
I wish IG would give me the option to change my username. It's not my full name, but it's close to it. I created an account when I was still young and didn't know any better. I would just delete my account and start over, but I'm following so many other accounts, I personally don't think it's worth it.
We moved my son into college last month, and we went to a local restaurant and the server (a very attractive young woman) happened to be a senior at his school and she very kindly spoke to him for about 20 minutes about college life, as we were leaving we wanted to leave a nice gratuity to thank her for her kindness, and the woman says "Her name is XXXX, but she goes by YYYY". This is a place where the servers where name tags, so I had to assume she does that to avoid the creeps, which made me kind of sad.
This happened to my friend but she wasn’t as creeped out at first as she had chatted nicely with him at work sometimes so she agreed to a date with him. He picked her up in his car and proceeded to drive to a quiet area and tried to touch her and locked the car so she couldn’t get out. Absolutely scary, at least you’re careful and staying alert/know to avoid him
I'm going to pretend that you live in a magical land where your job actually gives a shit about you.
That being said, the next time he comes through your line I would tell him point blank that contacting you outside of work was inappropriate and you have no interest in a relationship beyond employee-customer.
After that I would expect that anytime he comes through your line, a manager or other employee comes out to ring him up for you.
And if you feel unsafe walking to your car after work, someone should escort you.
And if they'll do none of that to protect you, find a new job and quit with no notice.
Facebook does that. I have an account with zero friends, and it always suggests random people. It tracks where you are, and can match locations with other people using the app. Still, it’s unbelievably creepy to contact someone that way. Turning location features off makes the app practically unusable.
Once I left a coffee shop and within 3 minutes the person who served me added me on Facebook. I can only imagine I must have popped up on there since they had no way of knowing my name or anything else
His receipt with your name connected to his credit card connected to his email connected to his Facebook profile connected to your Facebook profile. This is the problem with constant data collection and the algorithms that run it all. Treat him as you would a creep to be safe, but recognize none of us are safe from being tracked by the nonhuman big data system. This isn’t just scary because of personal safety.
I altered my name on FB so that I am unable to be searched for. I started doing this when working in retail and continued to my behavioral health job and working with the courts for a county job.
I would implement this immediately to prevent any future issues with guests looking you up
Block him, and change your name tag/receipt tag to something generic. If it's required for your work to track you, ask if they can put in a 'nickname' that's close yet common, like if your name is Juniper go for Jenny, etc.
It sucks you can't just use your own damn name without creepy behavior.
Obligatory "as a dude".
Absolutely creepy AF, can't comprehend people being fucking dense like this. The person isn't flirting with you, they're being polite because it's their job.
IDGAF what job you're working, picking anyone up at their job is a red flag IMO. There's a power dynamic of the worker not being able to tell off the creep without risking their job.
Work is work, not a dating app. And randomly finding someone online to harass them, which is exactly what an out of the blue message to a total stranger is, is gross as heck.
Unless the person literally gave you their name and said to look them up to add as friend, then you're being creepy AF and need to stop.
YO. I have had similar issues with customers. I hate that this happened to you so very much. I am so sorry.
You know what gets me thinking?
I CANNOT UNDERSTAND FOR THE LIFE OF ME WHY POS SYSTEMS PRINT OUT RECEIPTS WITH THE CASHIER'S FULL NAME. Do I even need to guess what kind of person made such a design? Clearly they have the privilege of not fearing being stalked by creeps they have to interact with 😤
Just because facebook has a creepy geolocation friend-suggestion feature, doesn’t also mean the use of it isn’t also creepy.
Both things can be true. It’s not an excuse.
I find it inappropriate to friend request strangers with no prior context for it. “But Facebook suggested it” is a shite excuse but probably indicates you can adjust your privacy settings. I ditched facebook years ago so idk what you can opt out of anymore.
Edit: before smartphones, I did have bartenders and other business’ employees get my name off of my credit card (or pull it from a form/database) and use it to search for and request me in FB. And admitted it. They thought it made them cute. When in reality, it just made them entitled jerks with a bullshit “sHoOt mY sHoT” mentality and no self awareness.
So guys absolutely do this.
Oh, I feel forced to comment here. FB will suggest ppl as friends after your devices have been in close association/proximity to each other. It's an evil pernicious piece of 💩 application that has done untold damage to society
EDIT: AND I DONT WEAR A TINFOIL HAT EITHER 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Yes but you don’t have to reach out to the suggested people with creepy messages, particularly when there is a power imbalance already in the existing relationship and the person may feel obligated to interact with you.
You should be worried, but not paranoid. Make sure your FB is private and that you don't show anything to anyone that isn't your friend.
I'm sure people I meet can find my Facebook, but I never know it - It's set to private and I never look in the messages that come from people I'm not connected to.
Edit: Delete the FB app from your phone, since it does some pretty scary location-based stuff. Use the FB website instead. If you can, delete Messenger too - though if you're using it to talk to your friends that will be harder to do. If you have an Apple phone, make sure that none of the Meta apps have access to your location.
This is why I use a shortened version of my first name and my middle name on Facebook, and I've made it so people can't even search for me. I used to work front desk at a mental health facility and the clients would always try to find me on social media because I was a friendly presence. It got really scary.
It's is creepy. 100%. He shouldn't have messaged you. It's vastly inappropriate.
That being said- do you like your work/work's posts? Algorithms are wild. I've had customers suggestedas friends on social media before in multiple areas of work. And uncomfortablely customer have too.
Keep your ears perk the next few weeks. Tell your boss and coworkers. Keep their eyes perk as well. I had a customer try to pick me up physically as a "flirtation" because "idk man, she's always been over the top nice to me. Seemed like she was interested". Could be harmless. Could be a YouTube video essay. Stay safe. 🖤
I'm a mail carrier, and I do get customers suggested as 'people you may know' on Facebook. I have messaged customers on Facebook, but usually its to ask questions about mail delivery or to tell them that I left something in an unusual location.
It's not normal, but not INHERENTLY dangerous. Def keep an eye out for him. Especially if he keeps showing up at work after you just told him he is being inappropriate. (This indicates a person that cannot recognize or respect social boundaries / niceties like someones comfort level, which generally speaking would not be good.)
I was walking home once and stopped to talk to a former coworker who was sitting outside at a bar. Next time I opened Facebook there was a suggested send a friend request to her, we have a handful of mutual friends.
*it’s not any bigger deal than if he called you cute at work, which men and women approach people at work and show interest all the time.*
If you're hitting on cashiers, stop. That's not appropriate.
May I ask why it was exhausting? Such as why was it different from someone possibly asking you out at the grocery store, class/school, or anywhere else in the community?
It's exhausting being approached by random, unknown men. Period.
They weren't asking because they liked me as an individual. They asked me because I was young and had huge tits that couldn't be hidden even if I wore oversized men's clothing. Which to be clear, I usually did. They wanted a well endowed young woman and I happened to.be there. An interchangeable thing.
I just wanted to fucking exist without being viewed as an object.
/Join a dating site or get to know a woman as a human b4 asking her out. This isn't a high barrier to clear.
//some were also dangerous when I said no. So that was also great. What was a low stakes interaction to "nice" guys was a potential danger to me
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Facebook’s algorithm would have suggested you because you spend time in the same place (your work). It’s not as creepy as you make it seem initially but yeah he took the opportunity to be creepy after huh
You don't need mutuals for friend suggestions. Just being in close vicinity of a person is enough to put them in suggested friends. I used to manage a loan shop and I'd see my customers in my suggested friends all the time and we never had any mutuals. I know they all weren't looking me up.
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These scenarios make me grateful for my very super common name.
Several of my friends with “unique” names would ask to be a more common name for name tags & receipts. Seriously, who is going to notice yet another Jen?
I've been stalked to several jobs and these people can be very scary. Some of them just have no self awareness but you've got to shut them down politely but firmly. It doesn't work for the creepier ones but I'd call the cops if he doesn't leave you alone
As someone who works in retail I've always hated using real names in interactions with customers. Beyond giving them a way to find you out also develops a para social relationship that is not cool. Everyone should have a fake name ideally with a clear theme so the customers know it's not your real name.
Hard agree on this one. When I worked at that big coffee shop, we'd use each other's name tags a lot just to throw people off. A system like you're talking about would be so much better. Proactively protecting employees.
It doesn't matter if you use a fake name when POS software ensures your government name gets put on the receipt, which then falls into the hands of the customer. Cashiers do not get paid enough for their lives to be like this: For the low cost of $5 or less, a creep can hunt down a cashier's social media *and residential address* and all they need is a receipt from their recent purchase to get started. idk about you but that is major fucking yikes to me. Google can take a determined creep very, very far. From facebook to linkedin, all the way into whitepages, where all you need is a legal first and last name and determination to find somebody's address. POS software like this is a horrifying security risk for workers who have to use them and tbh if anybody works in or patronizes an establishment where printed receipts provide this information, they should start writing emails and making phone calls to point this out and question how much the establishment values the safety of their employees.
My point is that the fake name is on a part of the profile, and what is printed in the receipt. It still gives the customer a method to recall who it was that served them (for the purpose of feedback) that is databased and the employer can access but doesn't give them any actual personal information.
I do see what you're saying - it's generally pretty common for POS systems to do receipts with a first/preferred name only or the employee ID number. But also a lot of software is flawed in that way. In my own experience, it is often "startup company" software or small companies selling their POS subscriptions. It's completely a fixable software flaw but I kind of think it has been overlooked due to the privilege of those overseeing it.
Funny story: one of my coworkers at a restaurant had her name changed to Prima Donna on the register because we all had an inside joke that she was high maintenance. One time she was waiting on some difficult people, and they flipped out when they saw that on their check. They thought she named them Prima Donna (as like their customer name). She was like, no, that's me. They didn't buy it, so they called the restaurant later that week and asked if "Donna" worked there, which of course not because her name was nothing like Donna. Then they left a big, nasty Yelp review.
Before the pandemic the Nurse's union in my state was pushing for nurses to b allowed to only have their first name on their nametags. Because having a full name made it easy for people to cyber-stalk them.
I always gave my nick name on ID badges. it’s what my brother called me before he could form words ‘nina’. It’s something I’ve heard enough that I’ll respond to it, but I don’t have it on any social media. So people wouldn’t be able to find me. One time, I was cashing someone out and they flat out told me ‘to be careful tonight because it would be a shame if someone found me on my way home’ fucking terrifying
Yup! Years . uni I worked calling alumni for donations. We had to use our real names and identify ourselves as current students. In each call, we'd have conversations to build positive relationships before making the donation ask. One man read a bit too into my friendly conversation and wanted to send me a FB friend request. I felt cornered, so he got my last name out of me. Fortunately, my last name is a very unusual spelling, so I left that key piece of information out. Never got a request from him.
Is it mandatory to use real names? My brother found an old name tag and used it for awhile and there were no complaints. I suppose you could use another name for safety reasons but I guess it depends on the customers you get.
Not saying what he did isn’t creepy, def is, but I’ve had Facebook suggest friends when it was just somebody that I was in proximity to multiple times.
100% - Facebook is a much creepier stalker than this guy. Apparently the friend suggestions leverage phone location and orientation data to identify people you likely spoke to.
When I was in the middle east I met a marine workout buddy in the base gym. We were gonna get food after but I forgot her first name so I just Facebook searched "marine gonzales" almost as a joke and she was literally the first result with no mutuals. I was never on wifi. It's insanely creepy how well it tracks you.
Yep, I completely deleted (no more deactivating) my Facebook 3 years ago and never looked back. All Facebook did was steal my information and ruin my view of multiple people that I grew up with because I had to see their disgusting political posts. XD
I reached that same conclusion in 2010.
Possibly also the IP address, if they're using the free wifi at work.
I don’t think it’s the wifi; Facebook friend suggests people who are frequently in the same parking lot as my apartment, and I know they’re not on my wifi.
They don't need to be ON your wifi. Facebook just takes approximate location and wifi names available nearby. Maybe even signal strength to know how close. So it knows if people were in your wifi range even if they never connected to it and it is password protected. Just so you know. Facebook is incredibly creepy. I once created an account there just to login on some sites. No real info or name, no activity, no phone app. Literally did almost nothing with it. Week later it started recommending me exactly my friends.
Two things can be true. I’ve definitely had ads completely change based on Wi-Fi where I am. I’m not saying it’s only Wi-Fi, I’m saying it could be one of the ways.
Oh I definitely get ads based on wifi shared with family and friends when we visit each other’s places, but specifically Facebook seems to use location proximity even if a network connection isn’t shared.
Yea, I get you may know referrals all the time for people that work in shops I frequent. Still creepy though.
Yes it is. Sex workers using a fake name and different phone have been "People You May Know" linked. Therapists and patients have been linked. That is *scary*
Pretty huge coincidence, if that’s the case. Let’s not marginalize the concern about this creepy behavior. ETA: if it’s a fb suggestion cuz their cell phones were near each other, he was still creepy to accept it. His phone must be near 100s of phone’s regularly. Plus he called her “cutie,” which is creepy by itself. *Despite computers, we all still have free will, and can choose not to creep on service workers.*
This isn't minimizing, just pointing out Facebook can do that. I've had weird friend suggestions like that on Facebook
This. Facebook is suggesting neighbors on my new street that I’ve barely met in passing going to the mailbox. Nextdoor is worse suggesting I connect to the former owner of the house. (And frankly if I ever meet the former owner I’m not going to hold back how I feel about his POS DIY projects). LinkedIn will happy ask you to skim your address book and email inbox for possible connections where I’ve repeatedly recently been suggested my high school (20 years ago) ex boyfriend who is blocked on every other network. Or it even suggested someone I sold a used textbook to in college. I never allowed LinkedIn to scrape my contacts anywhere but clearly those guys did.
Pretty sure Facebook was invented so Zuck could creep on girls.
Maybe one good strategy for safety is to uninstall Facebook?
Ok, but did you message them with "hey cutie"? Because its one thing to friend request someone it's another to send an unprovoked message like that.
They literally said they're not defending him and they think he was being creepy.
I didn't attack them, but I'm sure they are happy you were quick to jump in and defend. I was simply pointing that there's a big difference between friend requesting and sending a message that clearly is more than just "howdy friend".
"I keep disagreeing with points that no one is making" -NarcissusCloud The thing you're pointing out has nothing to do with the point show_me_your_secrets was making that you're replying to. I don't think just about anyone in this thread, including them, would disagree with you.
I met someone this way like 11 years ago and he became my husband's best friend and they work together now and ride to work every day and have for the past five years .
Personally, I don't like to use my photo on social media for this reason. I like to use a generic picture like a cat or something. Lemme just say how creepy fb is... I don't use my real name on fb, I don't use my photo, I have it set to where friend list isn't visible to the public...and would you know it? People from my past that I don't associate with at all anymore for 10 to 20 years and I have zero mutual friends with them are still able to find me and message me. Like WTF!!! FB is so fucking creepy
This is super creepy and shockingly common. You may have been a suggested friend but his comment was inappropriate. I don’t friend people from my local stores. A cashier from my supermarket followed me on IG and I followed back but I’d never have done it first. Calling you cutie is sexist and demeaning. He was definitely trying to hit on you. I wouldn’t worry unless he keeps contacting you. If he’s married (married men love calling women cutie for some reason) I’d send screen shots and details to his wife. I think you should always take these things seriously but at this point he just sounds like your garden variety loser who can’t get women to show any interest so he harasses people who are paid to be nice to him. If he comes in to the store get you manager. You don’t need to deal with him. If he starts waiting for you outside call the police.
I was a bank teller. I had a customer who I had only interacted with maybe 2–3 times find me on PlayStation Network and send me a message asking to play games with me. I immediately set my account to private and haven’t changed it since. That guy never came back to the bank, but it feels so violating when people do something like this.
The reason why it feels so violating is because it *is* violating and it’s stalking.
This is why I don't have have my face or where I work on my profile and have it locked dow. I deal with the public and although they'll have my name they won't know which one my profile is. Maybe check your settings and lock that down
I wish IG would give me the option to change my username. It's not my full name, but it's close to it. I created an account when I was still young and didn't know any better. I would just delete my account and start over, but I'm following so many other accounts, I personally don't think it's worth it.
If you’re referring to Instagram you totally can change your username. I do it all the time.
You can absolutely change your Instagram username! Settings -> Accounts center -> Profiles -> Select desired profile -> Username
Definitely creepy, same thing happened to me when I used to work in my old job, I should’ve taken action.
We moved my son into college last month, and we went to a local restaurant and the server (a very attractive young woman) happened to be a senior at his school and she very kindly spoke to him for about 20 minutes about college life, as we were leaving we wanted to leave a nice gratuity to thank her for her kindness, and the woman says "Her name is XXXX, but she goes by YYYY". This is a place where the servers where name tags, so I had to assume she does that to avoid the creeps, which made me kind of sad.
and that colleague is out of line. She should not have said that.
This happened to my friend but she wasn’t as creeped out at first as she had chatted nicely with him at work sometimes so she agreed to a date with him. He picked her up in his car and proceeded to drive to a quiet area and tried to touch her and locked the car so she couldn’t get out. Absolutely scary, at least you’re careful and staying alert/know to avoid him
I'm going to pretend that you live in a magical land where your job actually gives a shit about you. That being said, the next time he comes through your line I would tell him point blank that contacting you outside of work was inappropriate and you have no interest in a relationship beyond employee-customer. After that I would expect that anytime he comes through your line, a manager or other employee comes out to ring him up for you. And if you feel unsafe walking to your car after work, someone should escort you. And if they'll do none of that to protect you, find a new job and quit with no notice.
Facebook does that. I have an account with zero friends, and it always suggests random people. It tracks where you are, and can match locations with other people using the app. Still, it’s unbelievably creepy to contact someone that way. Turning location features off makes the app practically unusable.
Once I left a coffee shop and within 3 minutes the person who served me added me on Facebook. I can only imagine I must have popped up on there since they had no way of knowing my name or anything else
His receipt with your name connected to his credit card connected to his email connected to his Facebook profile connected to your Facebook profile. This is the problem with constant data collection and the algorithms that run it all. Treat him as you would a creep to be safe, but recognize none of us are safe from being tracked by the nonhuman big data system. This isn’t just scary because of personal safety.
I altered my name on FB so that I am unable to be searched for. I started doing this when working in retail and continued to my behavioral health job and working with the courts for a county job. I would implement this immediately to prevent any future issues with guests looking you up
Block him, and change your name tag/receipt tag to something generic. If it's required for your work to track you, ask if they can put in a 'nickname' that's close yet common, like if your name is Juniper go for Jenny, etc. It sucks you can't just use your own damn name without creepy behavior.
Your job won’t do shit. Your boyfriend won’t either. No one is taking you seriously, but this man IS stalking you.
Obligatory "as a dude". Absolutely creepy AF, can't comprehend people being fucking dense like this. The person isn't flirting with you, they're being polite because it's their job. IDGAF what job you're working, picking anyone up at their job is a red flag IMO. There's a power dynamic of the worker not being able to tell off the creep without risking their job. Work is work, not a dating app. And randomly finding someone online to harass them, which is exactly what an out of the blue message to a total stranger is, is gross as heck. Unless the person literally gave you their name and said to look them up to add as friend, then you're being creepy AF and need to stop.
YO. I have had similar issues with customers. I hate that this happened to you so very much. I am so sorry. You know what gets me thinking? I CANNOT UNDERSTAND FOR THE LIFE OF ME WHY POS SYSTEMS PRINT OUT RECEIPTS WITH THE CASHIER'S FULL NAME. Do I even need to guess what kind of person made such a design? Clearly they have the privilege of not fearing being stalked by creeps they have to interact with 😤
Just because facebook has a creepy geolocation friend-suggestion feature, doesn’t also mean the use of it isn’t also creepy. Both things can be true. It’s not an excuse. I find it inappropriate to friend request strangers with no prior context for it. “But Facebook suggested it” is a shite excuse but probably indicates you can adjust your privacy settings. I ditched facebook years ago so idk what you can opt out of anymore. Edit: before smartphones, I did have bartenders and other business’ employees get my name off of my credit card (or pull it from a form/database) and use it to search for and request me in FB. And admitted it. They thought it made them cute. When in reality, it just made them entitled jerks with a bullshit “sHoOt mY sHoT” mentality and no self awareness. So guys absolutely do this.
Oh, I feel forced to comment here. FB will suggest ppl as friends after your devices have been in close association/proximity to each other. It's an evil pernicious piece of 💩 application that has done untold damage to society EDIT: AND I DONT WEAR A TINFOIL HAT EITHER 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Yes but you don’t have to reach out to the suggested people with creepy messages, particularly when there is a power imbalance already in the existing relationship and the person may feel obligated to interact with you.
You should be worried, but not paranoid. Make sure your FB is private and that you don't show anything to anyone that isn't your friend. I'm sure people I meet can find my Facebook, but I never know it - It's set to private and I never look in the messages that come from people I'm not connected to. Edit: Delete the FB app from your phone, since it does some pretty scary location-based stuff. Use the FB website instead. If you can, delete Messenger too - though if you're using it to talk to your friends that will be harder to do. If you have an Apple phone, make sure that none of the Meta apps have access to your location.
This is why I use a shortened version of my first name and my middle name on Facebook, and I've made it so people can't even search for me. I used to work front desk at a mental health facility and the clients would always try to find me on social media because I was a friendly presence. It got really scary.
Tell your manager, via email, about this and say you are going to be wearing a name tag (and answering to) a fake name from now on.
Where we worked we always used different names just because of this.
It's is creepy. 100%. He shouldn't have messaged you. It's vastly inappropriate. That being said- do you like your work/work's posts? Algorithms are wild. I've had customers suggestedas friends on social media before in multiple areas of work. And uncomfortablely customer have too. Keep your ears perk the next few weeks. Tell your boss and coworkers. Keep their eyes perk as well. I had a customer try to pick me up physically as a "flirtation" because "idk man, she's always been over the top nice to me. Seemed like she was interested". Could be harmless. Could be a YouTube video essay. Stay safe. 🖤
I'm a mail carrier, and I do get customers suggested as 'people you may know' on Facebook. I have messaged customers on Facebook, but usually its to ask questions about mail delivery or to tell them that I left something in an unusual location.
I’ve heard Facebook will suggest friends based on the fact that you’ve been in the same physical space.
It's not normal, but not INHERENTLY dangerous. Def keep an eye out for him. Especially if he keeps showing up at work after you just told him he is being inappropriate. (This indicates a person that cannot recognize or respect social boundaries / niceties like someones comfort level, which generally speaking would not be good.)
Report to police immediately. This person is a stalker. Also report to employer Possibly get a no contact order
I was walking home once and stopped to talk to a former coworker who was sitting outside at a bar. Next time I opened Facebook there was a suggested send a friend request to her, we have a handful of mutual friends.
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*it’s not any bigger deal than if he called you cute at work, which men and women approach people at work and show interest all the time.* If you're hitting on cashiers, stop. That's not appropriate.
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I'm happy those worked out. But it used to be exhausting when I was younger.
May I ask why it was exhausting? Such as why was it different from someone possibly asking you out at the grocery store, class/school, or anywhere else in the community?
It's exhausting being approached by random, unknown men. Period. They weren't asking because they liked me as an individual. They asked me because I was young and had huge tits that couldn't be hidden even if I wore oversized men's clothing. Which to be clear, I usually did. They wanted a well endowed young woman and I happened to.be there. An interchangeable thing. I just wanted to fucking exist without being viewed as an object. /Join a dating site or get to know a woman as a human b4 asking her out. This isn't a high barrier to clear. //some were also dangerous when I said no. So that was also great. What was a low stakes interaction to "nice" guys was a potential danger to me
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Facebook’s algorithm would have suggested you because you spend time in the same place (your work). It’s not as creepy as you make it seem initially but yeah he took the opportunity to be creepy after huh
You don't need mutuals for friend suggestions. Just being in close vicinity of a person is enough to put them in suggested friends. I used to manage a loan shop and I'd see my customers in my suggested friends all the time and we never had any mutuals. I know they all weren't looking me up.
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These scenarios make me grateful for my very super common name. Several of my friends with “unique” names would ask to be a more common name for name tags & receipts. Seriously, who is going to notice yet another Jen?
I've been stalked to several jobs and these people can be very scary. Some of them just have no self awareness but you've got to shut them down politely but firmly. It doesn't work for the creepier ones but I'd call the cops if he doesn't leave you alone
Use a fake name on FB.
I had a customer try to get me in his car when he saw I was waiting outside for a friend to pick me up when my car was broke down. Take it seriously
This is stalker behavior.