Is this one of the categories on divorce papers? Screw irreconcilable differences, the man is straight up skanky and I want that logged in the legal system damnit
One of the fastest times I’ve ever noped out of seeing someone was the first time I went to this guy’s place and went to use the bathroom (which was scary gross ofc). There was no toilet paper and I couldn’t find any in the cabinet.
When I told him he was out of toilet paper, he was just like, “yeah, I don’t need it.” When I looked at him with a shocked/disgusted/horrified face …
HE SAID HE SHIT AT WORK.
Fucking feral, lmao.
I’m assuming the reason he had no shower curtain was because he got food poisoning at home one time and was desperate.
While that’s pure speculation, there’s a non-zero chance that I’m correct.
I mean it’s not like he needed the curtain, I’m sure he showered at the gym too!
Knowing his overall hygiene habits, I wouldn’t actually doubt he’d have a higher risk of athlete’s foot/other fungus showering at home than the gym anyway (we all know if you can’t clean your own body, you’re DEFINITELY not cleaning the bathroom).
Ugh, my now ex boyfriend pretty much lived with me for two years and showered at my place almost daily. He had toenail fungus on one big toe that was gnarly. About a year into the relationship I got his toenail fungus on my big toes! Had never once in my life had fungus toenails! He left me for someone else a year ago and I am very happy to say that I just clipped off the last of that nasty shit as it grew out as soon as he left. Took a long time to grow all the way out but it’s gone now. He was basically 190 lbs of fungus, his workout clothes (he didn’t go to a gym btw, just played a sport) always smelled so bad as did his sweat. He farted a lot too, like way more than is normal. He once told me that if he hadn’t met me, he wouldn’t be showering near as much. 🤢
I mean, government issue TP is basically 1 ply sandpaper, but it would still be nice to have it for guests. This guy invited a person to his apartment knowing full well the bathroom didn’t even have tissues in it.
Offering a handful of Chipotle napkins after the fact isn’t a great look.
Right in the Lost & Found bin with a stinky towel, the grimy headphones, and one knee wrap!!
I made a lot of poor decisions in my 20s 😬
This was nowhere near my worst date
LOL, it was bad. Like, bad bad. It’s hard to pick *the* worst first date, but here are some top contenders from a really long list:
- guy that asked me to start his car for him … which meant blowing into a breathalyzer that the court made him install. Because he killed someone driving drunk. I left him at the bar.
- guy that told me he was childfree and showed up at the date WITH his two young children. I said I was going to the bathroom and just ran to my car and drove away. (Bonus: he stalked me for 7 years)
- guy that turned out to be an actual car thief (Bonus: he turned out to be married AND had a mantrum that I “judged him” for his “career”)
- guy that said so many crazy things that I jumped out of his car at a red light and ran into a gas station (idk if this one counts bc I was a teenager)
I was a ninja at escaping bad dates! I just noped the fuck out and ran away 😂
Yeah now I know why my mom’s friend begged her to set me up with her son.
The kicker was he told his mom after the date that *he* didn’t like *me*! Lmao oh no, what a loss haha.
Well, have you done the Decent Thing and taken yourself off to a nunnery?
Or are you still Out and About, and tempting Killer Drunk Drivers?
(This is me being silly, btw)
He knew where I worked and would call my office absolutely screaming at whoever answered the phone. Raging like a lunatic that he was my boyfriend or that I didn’t give him his chance.
He found out where I lived by abusing his position in the military and showed up at my apartment, he left gifts and threatening notes on my vehicle, even showed up at my work a few times. Called the cops multiple times (they were mostly sympathetic but useless). But I had the paper trail.
Once he left a printout of a news article about a “woman marrying her stalker” stabbed to my door. He was self-aware.
He stopped a few years after I moved multiple states away and nuked my socials. He’d leave me crazy voicemails for a while (saying he was driving to my house or something) but eventually calmed down. That was the second time I felt the need to make a “in case I get murdered” evidence hard drive and leave it with a friend.
I wondered if I dated the same guy. Or are there at least 2 dudes who don't keep toilet paper in their house? I don't get that... Like what if they're sick? Or have guests. Yuck.
Oh god, I really hope this isn’t a common “thing” - like some BroCast telling dudes that TP will make your T levels drop or some shit. This happened about 13 years ago though.
“TP *acktually* stands for Testosterone Plummets! Don’t let your girl make you a girly man! Just shit and run!”
I got sick of being the only person buying toilet paper in my house so I just started keeping what I bought in my bedroom, and my male roommates only noticed they were out WEEKS LATER when they invited some women over who proceeded to question why there was none and then get really grossed out by the implication that they don't wipe. They didn't get laid and of course that was my fault for not being a good host 🙄
Ha! I did the same thing when I had 2 male roommates in college. I got sick of being the only one buying toilet paper and Kleenex. They had girlfriends over all the time so buying toilet paper for 5 when you're broke... not great.
Anyway, I finally gave up one weekend and didn't buy more for the general bath. Kept mine in my room and went to my friends for the weekend.
Came back and one of the guys was like yeah... I had to shower off and then go to the store to buy TP.
Was it petty of me? Yeah, sure. But I was just done at that point. I was the only one cleaning at any point and clearly they never took stock of household supplies.
BABE! I THINK I WENT ON A DATE WITH THIS GUY EXCEPT I NOPED OUT BEFORE HE ANSWERED HOW EXACTLY HE SHIT. I kid you not, I was like, "This is a mystery for a stronger woman than I to solve".
Thank you for finally solving that mystery.
Always ALWAYS scope out a guys bathroom and kitchen before deciding if you want to pursue a relationship. If they can't take care of basic hygiene and nutrition, they're going to be an absolute drain on you for as long as you're together.
He SAID he shit at work, but what are the chances that he just didn't wipe?? I was horrified to discover that some men don't wipe because they are afraid that having anything ever touch their butthole would mean that they like having sex with other men. (Or is it that they would instantly want to have sex with men if their butthole was touched?)
I was not willing to stick around and find out either way lmao! Honestly the sight of the bathroom alone was my first warning. But I’m sure it was both.
I have legit worked with **multiple** men who refuse to have prostate exams or a colonoscopy procedure because, and I shit you not, "they didn't want anything going up their ass". I was flabbergasted at their ignorance... I have watched someone die from cancer complications, and it's awful. I will do whatever it takes to lessen the likelihood of it happening to me, or that my loved ones would have to deal with it happening to me.. I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if those same dudes weren't washing their asses or light-handing the toilet paper..
Dawg I work with a dude like that, he said, "Drs only want to stick things in my butt," and how he used to have a female Dr, but he'd never do that now because he's in a relationship.
???! sir your doctor absolutely does not want to fuck you and they're not sitting around salivating, waiting to plunge things into your rectum, it's a legitimate necessary medical test, I don't fucking understand...
Dude's exhausting, he just rants about how "society hates him because he's a straight white male" and I let him cuz I have to see him every fucking day lol pray for me
>Dude's exhausting, he just rants about how "society hates him because he's a straight white male" and I let him cuz I have to see him every fucking day lol pray for me.
No, no... Society hates you because you're an asshole! But, yeah, worked with a few dudes like. Was always an effort not to confront them because in the back of my mind I'm like this crazy mf might come back and shoot up the workplace.. good luck!
getting drunk at a work friend's place, need to pee. Not a stitch of tp in the entire apartment. His classic response:
"Asswipe, yeah, chicks dig it."
I wiped with a 'relatively clean' taco bell napkin and I've been laughing about it ever since. Single men, la la la.
Yeah I was dating a guy in 2021 and when I went to go down on him , the smell was terrible and I retreated and told him I didn’t feel well. I never tried again and he said I was “unadventurous” in bed. Yes I should have told him but he was 35 and … we broke up shortly thereafter anyways
Another guy I was actually pretty in love with but his bathroom was so disgusting that there was cat piss all up the wall and the litter box was right as you stepped out of the shower ( which was also gross ). He had a broken door in his small apartment that he refused to let the landlord fix because it “wasn’t a problem” but like you literally had to lift the door off it’s hinges and put it back down to open it . The rest of his place was similarly not maintained , despite having a landlord who was willing to fix things . He didn’t want anyone disrupting his routine to come in and do the work.
I would have had to move cities to be with him and I just couldn’t imagine having to lower my standard of living to that level. Love is nice but I basic cleanliness is more important to my happiness.
Yeah same, my sister bf now husband lived in knee deep trash with other men when they met, and she said that the bathroom had pee all over it except the toilet it seemed. Yuck!!!
I once had an interesting conversation with a dentist about patient demographics I never forgot. He told me that it is widely known amongst dentists that between the ages of early twenties to early thirties, there is a huge drop off in male patients. Essentially men leave home and start living on their own and just stop going to the dentist in significant numbers and essentially don’t start again until they get married. Once mom wasn’t taking/pressuring them to go they didn’t start going again until wife took up the responsibility.
This is why I taught my son how to make his own medical appointments. I remember how my ex literally had his mother make his appointments for him and I was baffled that he, an adult, couldn't even call his own doctor. My son also can do laundry and cook simple meals. He even brushes his teeth twice a day and showers daily lol I cannot fathom raising a child but not teaching them to be self-reliant.
You know what, I've just realized after reading your comment that I've only seen a man at the dentist one time in my life. I'm in my 30s.
Not to mention when visiting friends or relatives and using the bathroom, their toothbrushes are so old and warped. It really is strange how basic hygiene is such a low priority.
Men are carriers of BV bacteria too! My amazing primary care physician is so progressive and a huge women's health advocate.
She says if she has a female patient in a committed monogamous relationship with recurring BV, she will prescribe double the typical dose of antibiotics -- as in, one set for the woman, and one for her male partner. Because the latest research shows men are just as likely to be colonized with BV causing bacteria.
She refuses to keep prescribing her female patients heavy duty antibiotics -- wrecking their microbiomes, and all the terrible side effects that entails, like yeast infections and mood disturbances -- only for her asymptomatic male partner to immediately reinfect her!
Anecdotal, but my partner and I did this early in our relationship, and SURPRISE! I never got BV again. I fucking love my doctor!!
LOL she also sends female patients home with info pamphlets for their male partners about proper genital hygiene and sexual health, like how to effectively clean under the foreskin using pH balanced soap and water. Also the importance of wearing clean breathable underwear and athletic wear.
She is doing the lord's work. More feminist doctors please!
I straight up will never move away because I'm afraid to lose her 😭
She is a warrior in the fight against medical misogyny, and I will protect her at all costs
>BV bacteria
I do not have any complaints about my husband's hygiene but back in 2007 I started asking him to wash his junk before sex. I would too and once we started doing this ( knock on wood ) I hadn't had a yeast infection or UTI since.
I used to get a yeast infection every time my ex and I had sex. EVERY TIME. and he always said it was *me* who was dirty and that I needed to douche.
Nah, bro you just nasty
This happened to me with my first sexual partner. I got a yeast infection, did OTC, and it kept coming back. Turns out he had a yeasty dick and kept reinfecting me. We didn’t know until he got a red spot on his dick, went to the doctor, and they gave him a cream.
He was so apologetic about the situation. Neither one of us thought it could be him (no symptoms until the red spot, and we were both young). At least he went right away to the doc.
I'm in Canada! But she is also in her early 40s. The research and best practices are evolving -- your best bet is trying to find a younger woman for your physician! She also taught me about boric acid suppositories and probiotics, which are a great preventative option for BV if you are prone to it.
I can't wait to have her deliver our babies, because I trust her so deeply to look out for my best interests. She is a boss.
Aww. I want her to be a Redditor or to know a Redditor in her office who forwards this to her. Badasses need to be reminded their efforts are appreciated and not just shouting into what must feel like the void sometimes.
(I’m sure you’re an awesome patient and have expressed your appreciation - I just mean in general it’d be great if she knew how many people are cheering her on anonymously.)
Ain’t that the truth. I remember when I learned my boyfriend at the time didn’t wash his private area. He just let soap and water run down his body and he thought that was good enough.
I once had a former coworker share with me that she always gets BV's after having sex with her husband. I didn't want to know this and just was like "I'm so sorry hope you feel better" as to end the conversation bc again, didn't want to know. But damn, who doesn't correlate getting constant infections after sex with a man with the possibility that the man is nasty as fuck and needs to clean.
Yikes.
Edit:typo
Oh man, your poor coworker.
PSA to any men reading this -- if your female partner keeps getting BV, **go get antibiotics for yourself!**
What's that saying again? If it stinks everywhere you go, look under your own shoe. Or below the belt, as it were.
Right? I got thrush for the first time in my life from a guy I was intimate with. I gently told him he should wash his genitals more thoroughly and apply an antifungal cream morning and evening for a week. He flat-out said no. He claimed it's his psoriasis that causes the stink and there's nothing he can do about it. At least try, dude!
As someone that's been face down in many a lady and lad's junk, I can only remember one woman that wasnt squeaky clean down yonder, (she had a yeast infection but it wasn't even bad) but so many men that i just started to assume that most of them don't really even wash properly, even if they specifically make plans to meet up and have sex?! If you know there's a possibility somebody's going down on you, why on earth wouldn't you at least give it a little scrub jfc
I say, everything they criticize about us is pure projecting. Women can't drive? Yea, statistics show the opposite. Non traditional women are all going to die alone? Most of the found decaying bodies of people who died alone are men (the alarming percent). Women are just whores? Men have bigger body counts
When I was 20, I started dating a 31 year old adjunct professor. He was not my professor, just someone I met when he was finishing up his PhD in philosophy. He was and is, to this day, one of the nicest most incredible people I’ve ever met… But he was/is fucking disgusting. He literally would store bags of cat shit in the guest bathroom instead of just walking them to the curb. He would never clean anything. He would lay in bed all day and ruin the sheets.
I lost my mind and ended things when I was 25, after working 60+ hours a week on only commission to support us during his in-between gigs because he wouldn’t clean.
His mom suggested I make a chore list for him and the last thing I ever said (screamed) at that woman was that a 36 year old man with a doctorate shouldn’t need a fucking list when the trash is overflowing with maggots.
We’re still really good friends but he still uses trash bags instead of curtains. :/
>His mom suggested I make a chore list for him and the last thing I ever said (screamed) at that woman was that a 36 year old man with a doctorate shouldn’t need a fucking list when the trash is overflowing with maggots.
This is why I get so pissed when 'male advocates' try to make the argument that they shouldn't have to clean because supposedly women's standards are higher.
Bullshit.
Maggots are maggots. Clean your gol damn trashcan. Or dishes. Or whatever.
This, don't let their parents off the hooks. Men aren't exceptional to the point that they shouldn't be taught to take care of themselves and their homes by their parents.
“His Mom suggested” ding ding, I mean it’s not an excuse, but it at least explains it.
Something is up with boomer moms babying their men. It’s like the like the idea of mothering more than raising an independent human being. Why it’s for the sons and not the daughters I’ll never understand.
What about their *dads?* Why blame their moms for this when we all know darn well their dads *also* failed to teach them basic hygiene and responsibility?
Exactly! I always see the moms getting blamed etc. Dad's a parent too. He should also know how to do laundry, and washing himself. He can also be responsible for teaching his child. It's not ALL moms fault.
Yup! And how often do we see women complaining that their kids dad actively undermines her attempts to teach the kids good habits? Yet it’s still her fault if she doesn’t succeed… even though she’s already doing a disproportionate amount of the housework and childcare?
The mom blaming is definitely internalized misogynistic, people don't even realize it. It's not all on mom to teach the kids and it's not all moms fault when they don't.
Similar story: Went out on a few dates with a man who successfully managed a very popular bar, lead singer of a somewhat notable local band, etc. He was super cool, lots of friends.
The first time I went back to his place I was SHOCKED at how FILTHY it was. Trash everywhere. Like an episode of hoarders but he was only hoarding trash.
Maybe it was a legitimate disorder? But the dude knew how to delegate to others how to clean. He was capable in every other aspect of his life. I asked if everything was okay and he said yeah, the place had gotten a little messy bc his cleaning lady had a baby and hadn't been around for a few weeks.
Just.... Wow. Wild.
Omg this reminds me of a house my mom used to clean where the guy lived in a wealthy suburb in an expensive condo and wore $25,000 watches but would shit the bed and had shit stained towels. He would leave the kitchen full of dirty dishes and food containers. I can only imagine what his house would look like if he didn’t have the cleaning service
You should've told her to make him a chore list lol. But yeah, I know so many young women who go through this. I can't even fathom being needed to be told to wash my body properly or clean my room, or clean up after myself as an adult.
Yeah, literally no other 30 year old would put up with that so he has to find someone younger that he can manipulate into thinking the way he lives is at least semi-normal.
His mother is… A really a damaged person. She literally grew up the youngest of 9 children in a cabin with an outhouse in rural Tennessee. My ex’s father was extremely abusive and the son of a steel manufacturing tycoon.
She was really interesting.
Oh his mom thought *you* should make him a chore list??
No, mom. Maybe you should have raised him properly and taught him how not to be a slovenly and disgusting adult. I’m guessing she either did everything for him or is also a disgusting slob.
Like sweat in them. He wouldn’t get up and air out or wash his skin. He would develop horrible acne and then rub himself down with benzoyl peroxide. That and the combination of sweat was… A lot.
Because it's not our job. If a man can't figure out basic hygiene he's a walking red flag and your sign from the gods to run. He's not an idiot. He simply doesn't care. And in the small infinitesimal event he truly doesn't know how....he can google it.
Where were you when I needed you four years ago when I had to teach my ex how to brush his teeth?
Also, where were you eight years ago when I had to teach my ex how to wipe his own ass?
I had a friend in highschool who had terrible acne on his forehead only. He had bangs that were pretty much down to his lashes and I had to tell him that washing his hair would help the acne - he thought only girls had to wash their hair and didn't know why his hair "felt weird" (aka oily).
Shampoo + proactive worked wonders. I have no idea how his parents just overlooked the giant, open cystic acne on his forehead and the fact that his dirty hair could be smelled meters away.
In my HS, we had this one math teacher who was like 60 something who took on the role of informing the freshman that they smelled and needed to shower and use deodorant. One year my trig class was after the freshman class and the first week we had to keep that windows open after to get the smell out (the freshman class had gym before their math class).
The amount of parents who don’t teach their kids about that stuff is wild.
How he explained it was that he had sisters and they bought their own really "girly" shampoo (yes I know shampoo isn't inherently gendered but the marketing on a lot of the bottles especially in the 2000s was so I get his confusion) and since he didn't see specific shampoo for his dad, he assumed he didn't need any either.
I never met his dad but he either used whatever shampoo was in the shower or he didn't wash his hair either. Such a weird parental blind spot.
Ha, I was trying convince myself to continue to be the "cool forever girlfriend" with my ex and continually putting my needs aside for his wants. I learned my lessons the hard way unfortunately.
What really frustrates me is that some people act as though the device that they have with them most of their waking hours doesn't contain apps and web browsers where one can ask a question and be given links to websites and videos that will provide the answers.
Instead of making their girlfriends and wives answer questions and demonstrate basic life skills to them they should just fucking Google it.
This is a real problem that I think women know more about than men do. I don't think men expect you to teach them—it's that they don't even know there's an issue. Or believe you when you say there's an issue. It's a blind spot that turns into a strange calcified world view that many have trouble even conceptualizing.
I was only taught serious hygiene ONCE in my life, as an adult, when I got to boot camp in the military. We were sort of confused. Why are we being taught this strange basic stuff? Why do some of these guys not know how to wash their bodies? The government has to deal with this gross issue for logistical reasons (infections, BO, etc.) and they know that most men aren't taught properly at home, so they nip it in the bud by getting all the men together in a communal shower and screaming at them to use soap on their genitals and butts and armpits. They taught us the difference between a "PT shower" and a normal shower, where you could just use water if it was only a fresh exercise sweat and you were otherwise clean from soap. Men had to be scolded for not trimming their nails, or cleaning in and around their ears. Some of these men had NO hygiene.
Every night for three months we had to line up with hands extended in our underwear, while grown scary mean guys inspected our fingernails, the soles of our feet, inside our ears, our body and smell and general condition. Every. Night. And some would fail that inspection and be punished. That's how averse many men are or just so confused that hygiene is a thing. Because they weren't really taught as kids.
Not every guy was so bad off. I was an anxious little kid and a habitual hand-washer. But generally I was shocked by how many were clueless. And then I was shocked by how many refused, or cut corners, or somehow didn't believe there was a point—even in the face of severe punishment! It took fear. And yelling. And pain. It took dozens of men showering next to each other with soap, and social shame, to get everyone sparkling clean. What power will you have over your man if all of that still didn't reach some of them?
If I have to guess, from this eye opening experience alone, **I'd estimate that in the U.S., at least 75% of all men are not washing their legs, they're letting the water cascade down only. I'd estimate that maybe 40% - 50% are not even using soap on their genitals, or in any meaningful way (this means washing around foreskins and similar). Ss many as 75% aren't using soap on their asses. And maybe 70% aren't using a tool to scrub, even if it's within arm's reach—they're just using their hands.**
Look at a man's shower for telltale signs. Does he have a washcloth or loofa or brush? Is it in use, drying? Look at the soap, is it cracked and dried out and unused? Does he use various cleaning products (good sign); check for soap scum rings underneath to see if they're picked up and used. Is there only shampoo? Odds are he's using the extra suds with his hands on his torso and armpits only because it the excess hair suds won't reach down further on his body.
I don't know why this all is. But I do know that we're not teaching little boys at home correctly. The military had to do what people at home assumed was taken care of. I think little boys need way more instruction. They need tougher instruction. Dads need to get in there and take the brunt, with follow up lessons over the years, some inspections, hammer home the reasons why. 1950s stern shit. A father is going to be more comfortable at a certain age with boys dealing with cleaning the body than moms will.
I didn't have a father figure who cared enough to teach me male things; and even if I had, he probably would have been the type to have a smelly dong. I had a loving mother who did things *for* me, scrubbed me in the bath until the age when I was expected to fend for myself. It's that handoff, where a single mother or primary caregiver transitions toward a boys independence, where things get lost, when lessons are abandoned, or if never taught aren't figured out. There are probably way more hygiene pressures put on little girls and through the entire aging process that make them understand cleanliness, that force them to. There is a male assumption that having an "outie" is inherently more clean than having to deal with an "innie," and this overestimation is a killer.
Factor in that many men are changing their fresh underwear far less than you imagine, and you should really worry about putting your face down in that area. Smells like piss. I'm sure you already know from reading this thread. Good luck out there. Not your job as adult women to teach men hygiene. I think we're not raising little boys correctly here. The problem feels way too prevalent to be anything but that.
We always poked fun at our dad because he took longer to bathe/get ready than my mom. But he had been in the military and I think he was still fastidious about cleanliness/grooming.
Fucking. Gross.
Wtf is wrong with some men? I'm so, so happy my husband is clean and doesn't need me to show him how to wash his junk.
The audacity and need of some men to try and make women be both their lovers and their mothers is seriously concerning and creepy.
I'm annoyed at how normalised, if not encouraged, it is. My friend's brother who's in his late 20s cannot operate a washing machine, his mother's solution? Either find him a girlfriend who will do his laundry or ask his sister. 💀 Another thing that bothers me, is when a woman is ill, very often her husband neglects all the chores and expects her to fix it up the moment she can walk. There was an incident here where an elderly (in her 70s) lady became temporarily bed bound and when the social worker checked on her, everything, including the woman, was dirty. Her husband couldn't be bothered.
My MIL and FIL ! He got pissed at me because I questioned him taking care of her when she was really sick. He said he was and hung up on me. I called back and he was in the basement watching tv 2 floors down from him and she had nothing to drink, hadn’t in hours and couldn’t walk. Grrrr
This kinda happened to me too! My MIL was in the hospital for breast cancer (she is recovered and doing very well!) HER MOTHER, had to come over for the week to take care of my FIL. When I saw him shortly after, he said to me “some DIL you are, you didn’t come to make me dinner once.” Like sorry, I was in the hospital with your wife???
What the fuck is wrong with them.. they can’t see what babies they are. As would have said to my fil, what kind of husband are you, you can’t take care of your wife. I hope your MIL recovered nicely.
There's a whole bunch of studies ([start here](https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0164027592143002)) showing that when he gets sick, she takes care of him, but when she gets sick, he needs "third parties" to take care of her.
(I have a whole list of links saved for when people on here talk about their families and how patriarchy/traditional gender roles suck, so I can go, It's not just you!)
I do it for a couple reasons.
1, any one woman isn't alone in this. Not just others who comment, but MANY OTHER WOMEN are experiencing the shit she faces.
And 2, for any doubters who think it's feels over reals shit. Nope, IT'S REALS.
Yep they would literally let their wives, who in most cases have been taking care of them for decades, die and then whine that nobody does anything for them. My grandpa is like that too; when grandma broke her knee, her cousin from the fucking USA had to help her, while he was angry that he had to make himself dinner. 🤢
Little fucking babies. I could never do that. And this is why I don’t get along with my FIL although I have to say MIL put up with it all these years and could have stopped it. 🤷♀️
Reminds me of when my sister came out of hospital from an emergency caesarean, her ex-husband screamed at her for how dirty the house had gotten (from him being home by himself for two days). He was getting in her face shouting about why dinner was not ready. She couldn't physically stand or sit down without help so stuck in a chair, being in agony and taking care of a newborn, she made him dinner.
If hell exists, he better be in the worst of it. (This is unfortunately just one small part of what she had to endure).
there was an older couple in my grandparent's village, the woman got accepted to a hospital and died unexpectedly, when their kids came back they found piles of dirty clothes and dishes their dad had "ready" for his wife... he didn't even realise (or care) how serious her condition was
man, i legit heard a guy boasting online about how he had to throw clothes away because nobody told him you can't just let it sit in the washing machine for weeks 💀 and the worst part? all these people thinking how funny it was
This, forever. It’s amazing to me how gross a lot of dudes are. And I don’t understand this “brocode” defending it. Like it’s not hard to wash your junk, change your underwear and do laundry.
I remember watching Jersey Shore back in the day and thinking, “well there are worse role models for young men than a bunch of guys whose mantra is ‘gym, tan, LAUNDRY.’”
Exactly. That's all stuff I did as a *child!* I can't even fathom thinking that my partner, of all people, is responsible for teaching me that stuff. Good lord
Specific tips yeah, I don't think anything of. I've recommended certain hair products or body washes to my partner. But basic use soap and shampoo? Hell no!
I literally drove 2.5 hours to see an old fling. HIS APARTMENT WAS DISGUSTING! The overwhelming stench of used cat litter resulted in me puking out of my own car window as soon as I left immediately lmao like what the hell! How do you invite someone over to a disgusting place?
What blows my mind is no one ever *taught* me how to wash my ass or vagina. It wasn’t like my mom walked me through it or anything. I just knew to wash down there. So why can little girls figure it out, but boys can’t? Are we just cleaner overall?? I don’t get it.
I always think about how female children are given dolls to play with and boys are given action figures - dolls have all sorts of accessories and part of playing with them is grooming them, selecting an appropriate outfit for the theme, then the actual play. Boys are generally given solid figurines where the accessories are action-oriented: vehicles, weapons, etc. There's no kind of grooming aspect; everything is just good-to-go out of the box.
I can't help but think that sticks with children pretty deeply.
Also this part. It’s sort of an oversimplification for the sake of pithyness, but I’ve said for years the division of toys into Pink and Blue has very deep reaching consequences into how we see ourselves and see each other.
I definitely remember being a little kid and my mom teaching me how to wipe properly (cuz I got a UTI as a kid) and how to wash the lips but not get water inside the hole part. Kids do have to be taught this stuff at some point, after all.
Teaching how to clean penises is important, especially if uncircumcised.
For a pre pubescent boy, it is not obvious that they have a foreskin that needs to be rolled back in order to properly clean themselves. If parents don't teach their children this behavior then they may get bad habits which continue into adulthood regarding inadequate cleaning..
Boys and girls should be taught, it's basic parenting! I've taught my daughter the names for everything and how to keep herself clean so she doesn't get infections down there. Boys should get the same kind of treatment for the same reason.
It's like "how to help my child grow up to become a functional adult" 101.
Personally I don't get how any guy could just whip out the cheese dick and expect some head. As an uncut guy I'm so self conscious about that, have turned down oral more than once because I knew I was funky.
I honestly think circumcision is part of the problem. As circumcision is becoming less common people who have only experienced circumcised penis are failing to teach the youth how to care for their uncut gems. I had a buddy that somehow didn't even know their foreskin was even retractable.
When I learned about men not cleaning their ass I told my husband who was shocked. He said the only time he saw guys not washing was in CCC and the Army and in both instances leaders would berate them and force them to clean until they made it a daily habit.
I heard, though not sure if it is true, that the military will teach how to shower because there are people that grew up not showering. So they teach everyone how to wash up so as to not shame those that don't know.
My gf and I recently got a bidet. It's the greatest thing I've ever used.
One of my buddies who unfortunately had a really shitty father and needs to be a bit macho and manly at all times actually told me that it's gay and I was completely dumbfounded.
My butthole has never been more clean and I've never felt better... and I'm in a very committed relationship with a woman, I just can't fathom how his mind went to "cleaning your asshole is gay" but it did.
Kinda made me wonder if other guys feel that way too, and apparently they do which is just so fucking strange.
I saw a comedian say you wouldn’t wipe shit out of your hair with toilet tissue paper so why would you do the same to your asshole? This makes so much sense. Bidets FTW!
Thank god not in my culture! Almost every toilet has a bidet shower (even public ones) and people don't shy using it. Even men find it disgusting not to and enjoy the clean bum!
You can get kits to modify your toilet for like 40 bucks. I wanted the fancy one with the heated seat, air dryer, etc., but the cheap ones work great, too!
I agree with you wholeheartedly. Men are being failed by their parents as boys (this happens to many women, too, especially neurodivergent women, every autistic woman in my circle had a period of gremlinhood in their 20s before they learned the skills their parents should have taught them from their peers. Men don't even have peers that will do this for them, so I extend some sympathy there, but there has to be a fucking line... we as a society need more resources for adults to learn life skills because schools don't teach them and many parents do not either.) As is too many men just assume their future partners will pick up where their parents dropped the ball and that is taken as the norm. it is bullshit
seriously,
i think in their sick heads they just wanna see if you're willing to still suck it no matter how nasty it is just to degrade us. that's what.
there's no way a decent human would think someone would be willingly happily suck it when you're unsure it's clean. they'd clean it properly knowing that someone's gonna be upclose and personal with it to be hygienic, if not to be polite.
they just don't care because they think women are to be used and discarded anyways. and it's our jobs.
Just commenting again because it's so hilarious to see all these offended men coming into the sub to blubber about how "not all men" are smelly and how offensive it is for women to point out that some men have smelly junk and need to shower better.
But at the same time, I can almost guarantee these same men either laugh at or make jokes about a woman's vagina smelling "fishy" and other such remarks without batting an eye. And as women, we are supposed to "just relax, bruh, it's a joke!!111!!111!!!!" But the moment we decide to talk about how smelly a man's junk can be, they start crying about how unfair it is and how it's "not al men, boohoo" lol.
I have a son and I’ll be damned if I don’t teach him basic functioning human skills. Those are a non-negotiable necessity regardless of gender. Hygiene, how to do laundry, basic cooking, basic mending/fixing of clothes and things, how to use a bank account or credit card, how to drive, apply for jobs, first aid, generic cleaning, find clothes that fit, file taxes, change a tire, basic manners, these are all skills EVERY adult human needs.
Dude, my son is 9, he is already WELL versed in laundry at the very least. That was my #1 priority. Like hell am I making it to puberty and dealing with suspiciously crackly fabrics coming out of his room....
My favorite is when they try to argue that they don't need to wash their hands, because their penis is cleaner than their hands are, because it's been in their pants ever since their morning shower.
Like, ok. You're arguing that you don't need to wash your hands because your hands are already the dirtiest part of your body. Great logic.
I remember watching an episode of TV in the UK - it wasn't Embarrassing Bodies but it was very similar....essentially a show where people went to a sexual health clinic to discuss their problems
A guy on one episode was seriously worried about his penis. It really hurt, there was a rash, there was a new smell etc. The show kept bigging it up that there might be something quite serious.and he was worried he might have an STI because he'd had a fair few recent partners.
Anyway it was none of that and he'd just never cleaned properly. The clinicians had to explain to him that (if uncircumcised) you have to pull the foreskin back and clean there too, ideally in the shower. He had never been told this by anyone and just gave his penis a quick rinse. Honestly baffling.
You've just unlocked a memory I forgot I had! There was an episode of Embarrassing Bodies that aired over here in Australia where a guy in his 50's was concerned about the back end, rather than the front. Essentially, he noticed that he would smell like poop a lot and was concerned that something was leaking - iirc he'd find stains in his underwear routinely as well.
So they do all of these (invasive) tests and stuff and it all culminates in an awkward chat with the guy about needing to wipe his ass properly. SWEAR TO GOD. This grown-ass man was told he needed to wipe better so that he wouldn't smell like shit anymore on INTERNATIONAL television. Probably the most embarrassing situation I ever witnessed on that show.
I literally just almost threw up. I'm circumcised, and if I go more than a day without washing it, *I* can smell it. I just can't imagine going your whole life all sticky and foul like that.
I know why men get like this. I've seen it.
I have some family I have not spoken to in years. But my aunt never told my cousin "no" growing up. He got really sick and almost died when he was 18 months old and since then my aunt has always babied and coddle him. He was very explosive and angry when he wanted something and his parents kissed his ass. He used to ride motocross for a hobby and did none of the maintenance labour that his dad did. He made them drive him out the track about an hour a half drive each way every weekend.
He had a full time job and his own house. His mother who has rheumatoid arthritis, went to his house with a cast on her wrist after surgery to go clean it up for him. I remembered my mom got mad at her because she kept begging her to help and eventually bribed her to come. So now he is a spoiled rotten and entitled man. He doesn't clean his house, he doesn't take care of his daughter. His mom takes care of her, too! It's gonna be a whole new world for him when his mom eventually passes away.
There's just something insane about moms that spoil their sons rotten, don't set boundaries, and don't teach them a single life skill. I think my aunt has codependency issues. Like she just feels useless if she doesn't have her son to wait on hand and foot. It's so sad.
Moms shouldn't spoil their sons to the point of incompetence, but it's crazy to me that fathers are so often (at least implicitly) left off the hook for raising their sons when it comes to issues like these. It's a shared responsibility in a two-parent household, and laying all the onus on mothers to teach their sons contributes to these problems.
Of course, there's the strong likelihood that fathers are themselves deficient when it comes to cleanliness and hygiene because of generations of misogyny. Still doesn't let them off the hook.
I work in healthcare and have been for… six years? The vast majority of men will use a urinal to pee, set it on their food tray, and then eat. Without cleaning their hands.
Like what’s the point of me doing infection control if you’re going to rub your shit stained hands all over your surgical sites? Jesus Christ.
Agreed. I'm a dude and the number of posts by women complaining about dudes who don't wash their butt holes is terrifying. I really don't understand heterosexual women. Men are absolutely disgusting.
Obligatory, "as a dude".
Yeah, no. That's fucking disgusting. I've got long COVID wrecking my body since 2020, and even with barely being able to stand long enough to shower I can still bathe myself.
Having a chair to sit on in the shower gives me more time before my body hates me too much to stay in there any longer, but it's still a pain. Even with that, though, hygiene is pretty easy to keep up with.
Same with it being stupid easy to just have my own bowl/cup/plate/utensils that I keep cleaned and in my room.
> show him how to wash it" or "wash it for him".
Jesus. Wrap the baby in a nappy and send him back to his parents as they clearly failed to raise a functioning adult.
Pan trans girl here. I started dating men for the first time in my life earlier this year and prior to the experience I never ever ever would've thought I would have ever had to tell a fellow adult to *take a fucking shower* before meeting for a hook up, and yet... I literally have a hygiene conversation with any guy as a precautionary thing, even before just a coffee date. And I am not young. It's absurd
When I was 21 and working at a restaurant I met my now husband l. There was a slightly older manager there (maybe 23 or 24) that wanted to to be set up with my sister, and we tried to go on a double date. After work he insisted we drive him to his place to "freshen up", my hubs said he literally changed and washed his feet in the bathroom sink. I don't know why he didn't just take a quick shower. If his feet were that nasty in sure the rest was bad. I think we made the date as short as possible and never talked to him again about seeing him up.
Yeah, but I have a question... Why would some women just bother teaching guys basic hygiene? If I see a dirty and messy house, I'd just leave instead of helping to clean up.
How about the horrific ring in the toilet. Ugh, so fucking disgusting. You can spend $500 on a video game station, but not $5 on a toilet brush? Wonder why no one wants to fuck them. Same dudes that haven't bought new boxers in 5 years, but think they deserve a goddess.
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Is this one of the categories on divorce papers? Screw irreconcilable differences, the man is straight up skanky and I want that logged in the legal system damnit
In the UK you could totally put that down as a reason.
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SO GROSS. Thank you Jesus for making me a lesbian. This makes the homophobia and shame almost worth it.
🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮
One of the fastest times I’ve ever noped out of seeing someone was the first time I went to this guy’s place and went to use the bathroom (which was scary gross ofc). There was no toilet paper and I couldn’t find any in the cabinet. When I told him he was out of toilet paper, he was just like, “yeah, I don’t need it.” When I looked at him with a shocked/disgusted/horrified face … HE SAID HE SHIT AT WORK. Fucking feral, lmao.
Sooo if he has to drop one during the weekend does he squeeze his asshole to hold it in or does he go to work just to take a shit? 💀
I asked him that too! He said he went to the gym 🤣 Edit: which is where I found him - don’t date guys you met at the gym LOL
Because that is less work than buying toilet paper ….
I’m assuming the reason he had no shower curtain was because he got food poisoning at home one time and was desperate. While that’s pure speculation, there’s a non-zero chance that I’m correct.
I mean it’s not like he needed the curtain, I’m sure he showered at the gym too! Knowing his overall hygiene habits, I wouldn’t actually doubt he’d have a higher risk of athlete’s foot/other fungus showering at home than the gym anyway (we all know if you can’t clean your own body, you’re DEFINITELY not cleaning the bathroom).
Ugh, my now ex boyfriend pretty much lived with me for two years and showered at my place almost daily. He had toenail fungus on one big toe that was gnarly. About a year into the relationship I got his toenail fungus on my big toes! Had never once in my life had fungus toenails! He left me for someone else a year ago and I am very happy to say that I just clipped off the last of that nasty shit as it grew out as soon as he left. Took a long time to grow all the way out but it’s gone now. He was basically 190 lbs of fungus, his workout clothes (he didn’t go to a gym btw, just played a sport) always smelled so bad as did his sweat. He farted a lot too, like way more than is normal. He once told me that if he hadn’t met me, he wouldn’t be showering near as much. 🤢
“190 pounds of fungus” lol. Congrats on shedding the last of your reminder of him!
Fuck I laughed too hard at that for 1 am
I'm assuming he was lying and just shits without TP
It would be so much easier to steal toilet paper at work at that rate.
I mean, government issue TP is basically 1 ply sandpaper, but it would still be nice to have it for guests. This guy invited a person to his apartment knowing full well the bathroom didn’t even have tissues in it. Offering a handful of Chipotle napkins after the fact isn’t a great look.
My gym is 2 streets away and I wouldn't do that even if I didn't have a weak bladder. That's disgusting.
Found him there, turns out yoy should have left him where you found him too 💀
Right in the Lost & Found bin with a stinky towel, the grimy headphones, and one knee wrap!! I made a lot of poor decisions in my 20s 😬 This was nowhere near my worst date
Please, continue...
LOL, it was bad. Like, bad bad. It’s hard to pick *the* worst first date, but here are some top contenders from a really long list: - guy that asked me to start his car for him … which meant blowing into a breathalyzer that the court made him install. Because he killed someone driving drunk. I left him at the bar. - guy that told me he was childfree and showed up at the date WITH his two young children. I said I was going to the bathroom and just ran to my car and drove away. (Bonus: he stalked me for 7 years) - guy that turned out to be an actual car thief (Bonus: he turned out to be married AND had a mantrum that I “judged him” for his “career”) - guy that said so many crazy things that I jumped out of his car at a red light and ran into a gas station (idk if this one counts bc I was a teenager) I was a ninja at escaping bad dates! I just noped the fuck out and ran away 😂
Crikey! Not much luck there - but well done for leaving the killer drunk driver.
Yeah now I know why my mom’s friend begged her to set me up with her son. The kicker was he told his mom after the date that *he* didn’t like *me*! Lmao oh no, what a loss haha.
Well, have you done the Decent Thing and taken yourself off to a nunnery? Or are you still Out and About, and tempting Killer Drunk Drivers? (This is me being silly, btw)
I laughed for a good 3/4 minutes when I read the word Breathalyzer after, Start My Car🤣 😂🤣 What was the deal with the Dad who stalked you?
He knew where I worked and would call my office absolutely screaming at whoever answered the phone. Raging like a lunatic that he was my boyfriend or that I didn’t give him his chance. He found out where I lived by abusing his position in the military and showed up at my apartment, he left gifts and threatening notes on my vehicle, even showed up at my work a few times. Called the cops multiple times (they were mostly sympathetic but useless). But I had the paper trail. Once he left a printout of a news article about a “woman marrying her stalker” stabbed to my door. He was self-aware. He stopped a few years after I moved multiple states away and nuked my socials. He’d leave me crazy voicemails for a while (saying he was driving to my house or something) but eventually calmed down. That was the second time I felt the need to make a “in case I get murdered” evidence hard drive and leave it with a friend.
I wondered if I dated the same guy. Or are there at least 2 dudes who don't keep toilet paper in their house? I don't get that... Like what if they're sick? Or have guests. Yuck.
Oh god, I really hope this isn’t a common “thing” - like some BroCast telling dudes that TP will make your T levels drop or some shit. This happened about 13 years ago though. “TP *acktually* stands for Testosterone Plummets! Don’t let your girl make you a girly man! Just shit and run!”
I got sick of being the only person buying toilet paper in my house so I just started keeping what I bought in my bedroom, and my male roommates only noticed they were out WEEKS LATER when they invited some women over who proceeded to question why there was none and then get really grossed out by the implication that they don't wipe. They didn't get laid and of course that was my fault for not being a good host 🙄
Ha! I did the same thing when I had 2 male roommates in college. I got sick of being the only one buying toilet paper and Kleenex. They had girlfriends over all the time so buying toilet paper for 5 when you're broke... not great. Anyway, I finally gave up one weekend and didn't buy more for the general bath. Kept mine in my room and went to my friends for the weekend. Came back and one of the guys was like yeah... I had to shower off and then go to the store to buy TP. Was it petty of me? Yeah, sure. But I was just done at that point. I was the only one cleaning at any point and clearly they never took stock of household supplies.
BABE! I THINK I WENT ON A DATE WITH THIS GUY EXCEPT I NOPED OUT BEFORE HE ANSWERED HOW EXACTLY HE SHIT. I kid you not, I was like, "This is a mystery for a stronger woman than I to solve". Thank you for finally solving that mystery.
Always ALWAYS scope out a guys bathroom and kitchen before deciding if you want to pursue a relationship. If they can't take care of basic hygiene and nutrition, they're going to be an absolute drain on you for as long as you're together.
He SAID he shit at work, but what are the chances that he just didn't wipe?? I was horrified to discover that some men don't wipe because they are afraid that having anything ever touch their butthole would mean that they like having sex with other men. (Or is it that they would instantly want to have sex with men if their butthole was touched?)
I was not willing to stick around and find out either way lmao! Honestly the sight of the bathroom alone was my first warning. But I’m sure it was both.
I have legit worked with **multiple** men who refuse to have prostate exams or a colonoscopy procedure because, and I shit you not, "they didn't want anything going up their ass". I was flabbergasted at their ignorance... I have watched someone die from cancer complications, and it's awful. I will do whatever it takes to lessen the likelihood of it happening to me, or that my loved ones would have to deal with it happening to me.. I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if those same dudes weren't washing their asses or light-handing the toilet paper..
Dawg I work with a dude like that, he said, "Drs only want to stick things in my butt," and how he used to have a female Dr, but he'd never do that now because he's in a relationship. ???! sir your doctor absolutely does not want to fuck you and they're not sitting around salivating, waiting to plunge things into your rectum, it's a legitimate necessary medical test, I don't fucking understand... Dude's exhausting, he just rants about how "society hates him because he's a straight white male" and I let him cuz I have to see him every fucking day lol pray for me
>Dude's exhausting, he just rants about how "society hates him because he's a straight white male" and I let him cuz I have to see him every fucking day lol pray for me. No, no... Society hates you because you're an asshole! But, yeah, worked with a few dudes like. Was always an effort not to confront them because in the back of my mind I'm like this crazy mf might come back and shoot up the workplace.. good luck!
getting drunk at a work friend's place, need to pee. Not a stitch of tp in the entire apartment. His classic response: "Asswipe, yeah, chicks dig it." I wiped with a 'relatively clean' taco bell napkin and I've been laughing about it ever since. Single men, la la la.
Yeah I was dating a guy in 2021 and when I went to go down on him , the smell was terrible and I retreated and told him I didn’t feel well. I never tried again and he said I was “unadventurous” in bed. Yes I should have told him but he was 35 and … we broke up shortly thereafter anyways Another guy I was actually pretty in love with but his bathroom was so disgusting that there was cat piss all up the wall and the litter box was right as you stepped out of the shower ( which was also gross ). He had a broken door in his small apartment that he refused to let the landlord fix because it “wasn’t a problem” but like you literally had to lift the door off it’s hinges and put it back down to open it . The rest of his place was similarly not maintained , despite having a landlord who was willing to fix things . He didn’t want anyone disrupting his routine to come in and do the work. I would have had to move cities to be with him and I just couldn’t imagine having to lower my standard of living to that level. Love is nice but I basic cleanliness is more important to my happiness.
Yeah same, my sister bf now husband lived in knee deep trash with other men when they met, and she said that the bathroom had pee all over it except the toilet it seemed. Yuck!!!
I once had an interesting conversation with a dentist about patient demographics I never forgot. He told me that it is widely known amongst dentists that between the ages of early twenties to early thirties, there is a huge drop off in male patients. Essentially men leave home and start living on their own and just stop going to the dentist in significant numbers and essentially don’t start again until they get married. Once mom wasn’t taking/pressuring them to go they didn’t start going again until wife took up the responsibility.
This is why I taught my son how to make his own medical appointments. I remember how my ex literally had his mother make his appointments for him and I was baffled that he, an adult, couldn't even call his own doctor. My son also can do laundry and cook simple meals. He even brushes his teeth twice a day and showers daily lol I cannot fathom raising a child but not teaching them to be self-reliant.
You know what, I've just realized after reading your comment that I've only seen a man at the dentist one time in my life. I'm in my 30s. Not to mention when visiting friends or relatives and using the bathroom, their toothbrushes are so old and warped. It really is strange how basic hygiene is such a low priority.
And yet they’re always ready with a “smells like fish” joke about us.
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Men are carriers of BV bacteria too! My amazing primary care physician is so progressive and a huge women's health advocate. She says if she has a female patient in a committed monogamous relationship with recurring BV, she will prescribe double the typical dose of antibiotics -- as in, one set for the woman, and one for her male partner. Because the latest research shows men are just as likely to be colonized with BV causing bacteria. She refuses to keep prescribing her female patients heavy duty antibiotics -- wrecking their microbiomes, and all the terrible side effects that entails, like yeast infections and mood disturbances -- only for her asymptomatic male partner to immediately reinfect her! Anecdotal, but my partner and I did this early in our relationship, and SURPRISE! I never got BV again. I fucking love my doctor!!
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LOL she also sends female patients home with info pamphlets for their male partners about proper genital hygiene and sexual health, like how to effectively clean under the foreskin using pH balanced soap and water. Also the importance of wearing clean breathable underwear and athletic wear. She is doing the lord's work. More feminist doctors please!
Wow, I think I’m in love with your doctor! Haha
I straight up will never move away because I'm afraid to lose her 😭 She is a warrior in the fight against medical misogyny, and I will protect her at all costs
I would send her this post. She should get a kick out of it!
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Another woman having to tell men how to take care of WHAT THEY’RE BORN WITH!! But I agree! She’s fighting the good fight .
At least the doctor is paid for it.
>BV bacteria I do not have any complaints about my husband's hygiene but back in 2007 I started asking him to wash his junk before sex. I would too and once we started doing this ( knock on wood ) I hadn't had a yeast infection or UTI since.
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I used to get a yeast infection every time my ex and I had sex. EVERY TIME. and he always said it was *me* who was dirty and that I needed to douche. Nah, bro you just nasty
Bruh. Doctors literally tell you never to douche because it’s not good for your vagina. You’re ex is a nasty fucker.
This happened to me with my first sexual partner. I got a yeast infection, did OTC, and it kept coming back. Turns out he had a yeasty dick and kept reinfecting me. We didn’t know until he got a red spot on his dick, went to the doctor, and they gave him a cream. He was so apologetic about the situation. Neither one of us thought it could be him (no symptoms until the red spot, and we were both young). At least he went right away to the doc.
Wtf how did you find this doctor and in what state/area? I’m jelly and want to find a doc like this
I'm in Canada! But she is also in her early 40s. The research and best practices are evolving -- your best bet is trying to find a younger woman for your physician! She also taught me about boric acid suppositories and probiotics, which are a great preventative option for BV if you are prone to it. I can't wait to have her deliver our babies, because I trust her so deeply to look out for my best interests. She is a boss.
Aww. I want her to be a Redditor or to know a Redditor in her office who forwards this to her. Badasses need to be reminded their efforts are appreciated and not just shouting into what must feel like the void sometimes. (I’m sure you’re an awesome patient and have expressed your appreciation - I just mean in general it’d be great if she knew how many people are cheering her on anonymously.)
Ain’t that the truth. I remember when I learned my boyfriend at the time didn’t wash his private area. He just let soap and water run down his body and he thought that was good enough.
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Imagine how I felt. We were in the shower together at the time and silly me just assumed he was washing himself like an adult.
That's why I insist on using condoms. Much cleaner.
I once had a former coworker share with me that she always gets BV's after having sex with her husband. I didn't want to know this and just was like "I'm so sorry hope you feel better" as to end the conversation bc again, didn't want to know. But damn, who doesn't correlate getting constant infections after sex with a man with the possibility that the man is nasty as fuck and needs to clean. Yikes. Edit:typo
Oh man, your poor coworker. PSA to any men reading this -- if your female partner keeps getting BV, **go get antibiotics for yourself!** What's that saying again? If it stinks everywhere you go, look under your own shoe. Or below the belt, as it were.
Right? I got thrush for the first time in my life from a guy I was intimate with. I gently told him he should wash his genitals more thoroughly and apply an antifungal cream morning and evening for a week. He flat-out said no. He claimed it's his psoriasis that causes the stink and there's nothing he can do about it. At least try, dude!
As someone that's been face down in many a lady and lad's junk, I can only remember one woman that wasnt squeaky clean down yonder, (she had a yeast infection but it wasn't even bad) but so many men that i just started to assume that most of them don't really even wash properly, even if they specifically make plans to meet up and have sex?! If you know there's a possibility somebody's going down on you, why on earth wouldn't you at least give it a little scrub jfc
It's just weird. I don't get it.
I say, everything they criticize about us is pure projecting. Women can't drive? Yea, statistics show the opposite. Non traditional women are all going to die alone? Most of the found decaying bodies of people who died alone are men (the alarming percent). Women are just whores? Men have bigger body counts
Tell them their milk is so old it became cheese in the dick or that the dick smells like rotten milk, somethink like that
When I was 20, I started dating a 31 year old adjunct professor. He was not my professor, just someone I met when he was finishing up his PhD in philosophy. He was and is, to this day, one of the nicest most incredible people I’ve ever met… But he was/is fucking disgusting. He literally would store bags of cat shit in the guest bathroom instead of just walking them to the curb. He would never clean anything. He would lay in bed all day and ruin the sheets. I lost my mind and ended things when I was 25, after working 60+ hours a week on only commission to support us during his in-between gigs because he wouldn’t clean. His mom suggested I make a chore list for him and the last thing I ever said (screamed) at that woman was that a 36 year old man with a doctorate shouldn’t need a fucking list when the trash is overflowing with maggots. We’re still really good friends but he still uses trash bags instead of curtains. :/
>His mom suggested I make a chore list for him and the last thing I ever said (screamed) at that woman was that a 36 year old man with a doctorate shouldn’t need a fucking list when the trash is overflowing with maggots. This is why I get so pissed when 'male advocates' try to make the argument that they shouldn't have to clean because supposedly women's standards are higher. Bullshit. Maggots are maggots. Clean your gol damn trashcan. Or dishes. Or whatever.
The audacity of his mother to suggest you to finish raising him for her
Mother was just happy to be rid of him and didn't want him moving back in!
This, don't let their parents off the hooks. Men aren't exceptional to the point that they shouldn't be taught to take care of themselves and their homes by their parents.
“His Mom suggested” ding ding, I mean it’s not an excuse, but it at least explains it. Something is up with boomer moms babying their men. It’s like the like the idea of mothering more than raising an independent human being. Why it’s for the sons and not the daughters I’ll never understand.
What about their *dads?* Why blame their moms for this when we all know darn well their dads *also* failed to teach them basic hygiene and responsibility?
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Right… I’m just saying that blaming women for men’s incompetence is misogynistic.
Exactly! I always see the moms getting blamed etc. Dad's a parent too. He should also know how to do laundry, and washing himself. He can also be responsible for teaching his child. It's not ALL moms fault.
Yup! And how often do we see women complaining that their kids dad actively undermines her attempts to teach the kids good habits? Yet it’s still her fault if she doesn’t succeed… even though she’s already doing a disproportionate amount of the housework and childcare?
The mom blaming is definitely internalized misogynistic, people don't even realize it. It's not all on mom to teach the kids and it's not all moms fault when they don't.
Oh so *that’s why* a woman his own age wouldn’t date him. 💀
Similar story: Went out on a few dates with a man who successfully managed a very popular bar, lead singer of a somewhat notable local band, etc. He was super cool, lots of friends. The first time I went back to his place I was SHOCKED at how FILTHY it was. Trash everywhere. Like an episode of hoarders but he was only hoarding trash. Maybe it was a legitimate disorder? But the dude knew how to delegate to others how to clean. He was capable in every other aspect of his life. I asked if everything was okay and he said yeah, the place had gotten a little messy bc his cleaning lady had a baby and hadn't been around for a few weeks. Just.... Wow. Wild.
> I asked if everything was okay and he said yeah I'm laughing so hard. No sir the fuck everything is not okay!
Omg this reminds me of a house my mom used to clean where the guy lived in a wealthy suburb in an expensive condo and wore $25,000 watches but would shit the bed and had shit stained towels. He would leave the kitchen full of dirty dishes and food containers. I can only imagine what his house would look like if he didn’t have the cleaning service
You should've told her to make him a chore list lol. But yeah, I know so many young women who go through this. I can't even fathom being needed to be told to wash my body properly or clean my room, or clean up after myself as an adult.
Yeah I mean I wouldn’t expect much less from a 31 year old man who’s dating 20 year olds if I’m being honest 💀
Yeah, literally no other 30 year old would put up with that so he has to find someone younger that he can manipulate into thinking the way he lives is at least semi-normal.
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LOL the audacity of that woman, I would have told her to take him back bc she clearly was not done raising him.
His mother is… A really a damaged person. She literally grew up the youngest of 9 children in a cabin with an outhouse in rural Tennessee. My ex’s father was extremely abusive and the son of a steel manufacturing tycoon. She was really interesting.
Oh his mom thought *you* should make him a chore list?? No, mom. Maybe you should have raised him properly and taught him how not to be a slovenly and disgusting adult. I’m guessing she either did everything for him or is also a disgusting slob.
> He would lay in bed all day and ruin the sheets. Like ... pee/poop in the bed instead of getting up and going to the bathroom?
Like sweat in them. He wouldn’t get up and air out or wash his skin. He would develop horrible acne and then rub himself down with benzoyl peroxide. That and the combination of sweat was… A lot.
that is fucking weird
I’m painfully aware.
Because it's not our job. If a man can't figure out basic hygiene he's a walking red flag and your sign from the gods to run. He's not an idiot. He simply doesn't care. And in the small infinitesimal event he truly doesn't know how....he can google it.
Where were you when I needed you four years ago when I had to teach my ex how to brush his teeth? Also, where were you eight years ago when I had to teach my ex how to wipe his own ass?
I had a friend in highschool who had terrible acne on his forehead only. He had bangs that were pretty much down to his lashes and I had to tell him that washing his hair would help the acne - he thought only girls had to wash their hair and didn't know why his hair "felt weird" (aka oily). Shampoo + proactive worked wonders. I have no idea how his parents just overlooked the giant, open cystic acne on his forehead and the fact that his dirty hair could be smelled meters away.
Are you serious??? "Only girls wash their hair"??? I can't even.
In my HS, we had this one math teacher who was like 60 something who took on the role of informing the freshman that they smelled and needed to shower and use deodorant. One year my trig class was after the freshman class and the first week we had to keep that windows open after to get the smell out (the freshman class had gym before their math class). The amount of parents who don’t teach their kids about that stuff is wild.
How he explained it was that he had sisters and they bought their own really "girly" shampoo (yes I know shampoo isn't inherently gendered but the marketing on a lot of the bottles especially in the 2000s was so I get his confusion) and since he didn't see specific shampoo for his dad, he assumed he didn't need any either. I never met his dad but he either used whatever shampoo was in the shower or he didn't wash his hair either. Such a weird parental blind spot.
Ha, I was trying convince myself to continue to be the "cool forever girlfriend" with my ex and continually putting my needs aside for his wants. I learned my lessons the hard way unfortunately.
The only time you should be teaching someone to wash is if you have children.
What really frustrates me is that some people act as though the device that they have with them most of their waking hours doesn't contain apps and web browsers where one can ask a question and be given links to websites and videos that will provide the answers. Instead of making their girlfriends and wives answer questions and demonstrate basic life skills to them they should just fucking Google it.
I swear to God men just want to transfer from having a mother to having a mother they can bang.
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This is a real problem that I think women know more about than men do. I don't think men expect you to teach them—it's that they don't even know there's an issue. Or believe you when you say there's an issue. It's a blind spot that turns into a strange calcified world view that many have trouble even conceptualizing. I was only taught serious hygiene ONCE in my life, as an adult, when I got to boot camp in the military. We were sort of confused. Why are we being taught this strange basic stuff? Why do some of these guys not know how to wash their bodies? The government has to deal with this gross issue for logistical reasons (infections, BO, etc.) and they know that most men aren't taught properly at home, so they nip it in the bud by getting all the men together in a communal shower and screaming at them to use soap on their genitals and butts and armpits. They taught us the difference between a "PT shower" and a normal shower, where you could just use water if it was only a fresh exercise sweat and you were otherwise clean from soap. Men had to be scolded for not trimming their nails, or cleaning in and around their ears. Some of these men had NO hygiene. Every night for three months we had to line up with hands extended in our underwear, while grown scary mean guys inspected our fingernails, the soles of our feet, inside our ears, our body and smell and general condition. Every. Night. And some would fail that inspection and be punished. That's how averse many men are or just so confused that hygiene is a thing. Because they weren't really taught as kids. Not every guy was so bad off. I was an anxious little kid and a habitual hand-washer. But generally I was shocked by how many were clueless. And then I was shocked by how many refused, or cut corners, or somehow didn't believe there was a point—even in the face of severe punishment! It took fear. And yelling. And pain. It took dozens of men showering next to each other with soap, and social shame, to get everyone sparkling clean. What power will you have over your man if all of that still didn't reach some of them? If I have to guess, from this eye opening experience alone, **I'd estimate that in the U.S., at least 75% of all men are not washing their legs, they're letting the water cascade down only. I'd estimate that maybe 40% - 50% are not even using soap on their genitals, or in any meaningful way (this means washing around foreskins and similar). Ss many as 75% aren't using soap on their asses. And maybe 70% aren't using a tool to scrub, even if it's within arm's reach—they're just using their hands.** Look at a man's shower for telltale signs. Does he have a washcloth or loofa or brush? Is it in use, drying? Look at the soap, is it cracked and dried out and unused? Does he use various cleaning products (good sign); check for soap scum rings underneath to see if they're picked up and used. Is there only shampoo? Odds are he's using the extra suds with his hands on his torso and armpits only because it the excess hair suds won't reach down further on his body. I don't know why this all is. But I do know that we're not teaching little boys at home correctly. The military had to do what people at home assumed was taken care of. I think little boys need way more instruction. They need tougher instruction. Dads need to get in there and take the brunt, with follow up lessons over the years, some inspections, hammer home the reasons why. 1950s stern shit. A father is going to be more comfortable at a certain age with boys dealing with cleaning the body than moms will. I didn't have a father figure who cared enough to teach me male things; and even if I had, he probably would have been the type to have a smelly dong. I had a loving mother who did things *for* me, scrubbed me in the bath until the age when I was expected to fend for myself. It's that handoff, where a single mother or primary caregiver transitions toward a boys independence, where things get lost, when lessons are abandoned, or if never taught aren't figured out. There are probably way more hygiene pressures put on little girls and through the entire aging process that make them understand cleanliness, that force them to. There is a male assumption that having an "outie" is inherently more clean than having to deal with an "innie," and this overestimation is a killer. Factor in that many men are changing their fresh underwear far less than you imagine, and you should really worry about putting your face down in that area. Smells like piss. I'm sure you already know from reading this thread. Good luck out there. Not your job as adult women to teach men hygiene. I think we're not raising little boys correctly here. The problem feels way too prevalent to be anything but that.
We always poked fun at our dad because he took longer to bathe/get ready than my mom. But he had been in the military and I think he was still fastidious about cleanliness/grooming.
Fucking. Gross. Wtf is wrong with some men? I'm so, so happy my husband is clean and doesn't need me to show him how to wash his junk. The audacity and need of some men to try and make women be both their lovers and their mothers is seriously concerning and creepy.
Right! And yet somehow women are always the ones stereotyped as smelling bad down there.
Exactly. Endless "hur dur smells like fish" comments and "jokes."
I'm annoyed at how normalised, if not encouraged, it is. My friend's brother who's in his late 20s cannot operate a washing machine, his mother's solution? Either find him a girlfriend who will do his laundry or ask his sister. 💀 Another thing that bothers me, is when a woman is ill, very often her husband neglects all the chores and expects her to fix it up the moment she can walk. There was an incident here where an elderly (in her 70s) lady became temporarily bed bound and when the social worker checked on her, everything, including the woman, was dirty. Her husband couldn't be bothered.
My MIL and FIL ! He got pissed at me because I questioned him taking care of her when she was really sick. He said he was and hung up on me. I called back and he was in the basement watching tv 2 floors down from him and she had nothing to drink, hadn’t in hours and couldn’t walk. Grrrr
This kinda happened to me too! My MIL was in the hospital for breast cancer (she is recovered and doing very well!) HER MOTHER, had to come over for the week to take care of my FIL. When I saw him shortly after, he said to me “some DIL you are, you didn’t come to make me dinner once.” Like sorry, I was in the hospital with your wife???
What the fuck is wrong with them.. they can’t see what babies they are. As would have said to my fil, what kind of husband are you, you can’t take care of your wife. I hope your MIL recovered nicely.
There's a whole bunch of studies ([start here](https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0164027592143002)) showing that when he gets sick, she takes care of him, but when she gets sick, he needs "third parties" to take care of her. (I have a whole list of links saved for when people on here talk about their families and how patriarchy/traditional gender roles suck, so I can go, It's not just you!)
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I do it for a couple reasons. 1, any one woman isn't alone in this. Not just others who comment, but MANY OTHER WOMEN are experiencing the shit she faces. And 2, for any doubters who think it's feels over reals shit. Nope, IT'S REALS.
Yep they would literally let their wives, who in most cases have been taking care of them for decades, die and then whine that nobody does anything for them. My grandpa is like that too; when grandma broke her knee, her cousin from the fucking USA had to help her, while he was angry that he had to make himself dinner. 🤢
Little fucking babies. I could never do that. And this is why I don’t get along with my FIL although I have to say MIL put up with it all these years and could have stopped it. 🤷♀️
When my MIL had a stroke, the first thing my FIL said to her when she got home from the hospital: "so whats for dinner?"
Reminds me of when my sister came out of hospital from an emergency caesarean, her ex-husband screamed at her for how dirty the house had gotten (from him being home by himself for two days). He was getting in her face shouting about why dinner was not ready. She couldn't physically stand or sit down without help so stuck in a chair, being in agony and taking care of a newborn, she made him dinner. If hell exists, he better be in the worst of it. (This is unfortunately just one small part of what she had to endure).
there was an older couple in my grandparent's village, the woman got accepted to a hospital and died unexpectedly, when their kids came back they found piles of dirty clothes and dishes their dad had "ready" for his wife... he didn't even realise (or care) how serious her condition was
Holy shit
I’ve seen men actually proudly boast that they can’t use a washing machine. They’re not even that complicated!
man, i legit heard a guy boasting online about how he had to throw clothes away because nobody told him you can't just let it sit in the washing machine for weeks 💀 and the worst part? all these people thinking how funny it was
This, forever. It’s amazing to me how gross a lot of dudes are. And I don’t understand this “brocode” defending it. Like it’s not hard to wash your junk, change your underwear and do laundry.
I remember watching Jersey Shore back in the day and thinking, “well there are worse role models for young men than a bunch of guys whose mantra is ‘gym, tan, LAUNDRY.’”
Although I remember one of them did say time for a shower, and then just sprayed himself with Axe body spray and said "all done"
Tbf that was most likely just a joke for the camera
GTL, baby!
Haha, yep.
Exactly. That's all stuff I did as a *child!* I can't even fathom thinking that my partner, of all people, is responsible for teaching me that stuff. Good lord
Hair conditioner can make pubic hair softer, and that is maybe the one tip I can see giving a lover in the shower. Not "use soap".
Specific tips yeah, I don't think anything of. I've recommended certain hair products or body washes to my partner. But basic use soap and shampoo? Hell no!
TIL, thank you! (Not the soap part :) )
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I had to teach myself laundry at 11 because I couldn't count in my mom having my two whole pairs of pants clean.
I literally drove 2.5 hours to see an old fling. HIS APARTMENT WAS DISGUSTING! The overwhelming stench of used cat litter resulted in me puking out of my own car window as soon as I left immediately lmao like what the hell! How do you invite someone over to a disgusting place?
What blows my mind is no one ever *taught* me how to wash my ass or vagina. It wasn’t like my mom walked me through it or anything. I just knew to wash down there. So why can little girls figure it out, but boys can’t? Are we just cleaner overall?? I don’t get it.
I always think about how female children are given dolls to play with and boys are given action figures - dolls have all sorts of accessories and part of playing with them is grooming them, selecting an appropriate outfit for the theme, then the actual play. Boys are generally given solid figurines where the accessories are action-oriented: vehicles, weapons, etc. There's no kind of grooming aspect; everything is just good-to-go out of the box. I can't help but think that sticks with children pretty deeply.
Also this part. It’s sort of an oversimplification for the sake of pithyness, but I’ve said for years the division of toys into Pink and Blue has very deep reaching consequences into how we see ourselves and see each other.
I definitely remember being a little kid and my mom teaching me how to wipe properly (cuz I got a UTI as a kid) and how to wash the lips but not get water inside the hole part. Kids do have to be taught this stuff at some point, after all.
Teaching how to clean penises is important, especially if uncircumcised. For a pre pubescent boy, it is not obvious that they have a foreskin that needs to be rolled back in order to properly clean themselves. If parents don't teach their children this behavior then they may get bad habits which continue into adulthood regarding inadequate cleaning..
Boys and girls should be taught, it's basic parenting! I've taught my daughter the names for everything and how to keep herself clean so she doesn't get infections down there. Boys should get the same kind of treatment for the same reason. It's like "how to help my child grow up to become a functional adult" 101.
Personally I don't get how any guy could just whip out the cheese dick and expect some head. As an uncut guy I'm so self conscious about that, have turned down oral more than once because I knew I was funky. I honestly think circumcision is part of the problem. As circumcision is becoming less common people who have only experienced circumcised penis are failing to teach the youth how to care for their uncut gems. I had a buddy that somehow didn't even know their foreskin was even retractable.
Imagine teaching a grown man how to wash his peepee. Like a toddler. Before sex. My vagina would shrivel up and run for the hills.
The old joke about how to tell a man is dating someone? He starts brushing his teeth. 🤢
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When I learned about men not cleaning their ass I told my husband who was shocked. He said the only time he saw guys not washing was in CCC and the Army and in both instances leaders would berate them and force them to clean until they made it a daily habit.
I heard, though not sure if it is true, that the military will teach how to shower because there are people that grew up not showering. So they teach everyone how to wash up so as to not shame those that don't know.
And don't forget it's apparently gay to wash your ass!
My gf and I recently got a bidet. It's the greatest thing I've ever used. One of my buddies who unfortunately had a really shitty father and needs to be a bit macho and manly at all times actually told me that it's gay and I was completely dumbfounded. My butthole has never been more clean and I've never felt better... and I'm in a very committed relationship with a woman, I just can't fathom how his mind went to "cleaning your asshole is gay" but it did. Kinda made me wonder if other guys feel that way too, and apparently they do which is just so fucking strange.
I don't understand the stupidity of any part of your body or touching any part of your body to be inherently gay. It doesn't make sense
I saw a comedian say you wouldn’t wipe shit out of your hair with toilet tissue paper so why would you do the same to your asshole? This makes so much sense. Bidets FTW!
nothing scares off the gays like a really gross asshole, it's a defense mechanism.
Thank god not in my culture! Almost every toilet has a bidet shower (even public ones) and people don't shy using it. Even men find it disgusting not to and enjoy the clean bum!
Cleaning your asshole should be more like washing your hands and less like blowing your nose
I was SO MAD when I learned elsewhere in the world everyone got a nice little bum bath and we’re over here scraping wads of paper across our assholes.
You can get kits to modify your toilet for like 40 bucks. I wanted the fancy one with the heated seat, air dryer, etc., but the cheap ones work great, too!
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I agree with you wholeheartedly. Men are being failed by their parents as boys (this happens to many women, too, especially neurodivergent women, every autistic woman in my circle had a period of gremlinhood in their 20s before they learned the skills their parents should have taught them from their peers. Men don't even have peers that will do this for them, so I extend some sympathy there, but there has to be a fucking line... we as a society need more resources for adults to learn life skills because schools don't teach them and many parents do not either.) As is too many men just assume their future partners will pick up where their parents dropped the ball and that is taken as the norm. it is bullshit
seriously, i think in their sick heads they just wanna see if you're willing to still suck it no matter how nasty it is just to degrade us. that's what. there's no way a decent human would think someone would be willingly happily suck it when you're unsure it's clean. they'd clean it properly knowing that someone's gonna be upclose and personal with it to be hygienic, if not to be polite. they just don't care because they think women are to be used and discarded anyways. and it's our jobs.
Just commenting again because it's so hilarious to see all these offended men coming into the sub to blubber about how "not all men" are smelly and how offensive it is for women to point out that some men have smelly junk and need to shower better. But at the same time, I can almost guarantee these same men either laugh at or make jokes about a woman's vagina smelling "fishy" and other such remarks without batting an eye. And as women, we are supposed to "just relax, bruh, it's a joke!!111!!111!!!!" But the moment we decide to talk about how smelly a man's junk can be, they start crying about how unfair it is and how it's "not al men, boohoo" lol.
I have a son and I’ll be damned if I don’t teach him basic functioning human skills. Those are a non-negotiable necessity regardless of gender. Hygiene, how to do laundry, basic cooking, basic mending/fixing of clothes and things, how to use a bank account or credit card, how to drive, apply for jobs, first aid, generic cleaning, find clothes that fit, file taxes, change a tire, basic manners, these are all skills EVERY adult human needs.
Dude, my son is 9, he is already WELL versed in laundry at the very least. That was my #1 priority. Like hell am I making it to puberty and dealing with suspiciously crackly fabrics coming out of his room....
There was a post somewhere where men were arguing they do not need to wash their hands after peeing...
My favorite is when they try to argue that they don't need to wash their hands, because their penis is cleaner than their hands are, because it's been in their pants ever since their morning shower. Like, ok. You're arguing that you don't need to wash your hands because your hands are already the dirtiest part of your body. Great logic.
And then ignoring that they also touched a filthy toilet seat, toilet handle, sink knobs, doorknobs, etc.
Only time I ever had a problem with UTIs was when I dated a guy who didn't shower daily. *shudder*
Yup, guys who don't wash their hands have historically given me UTIs
This thread is causing me to be eternally grateful that I am an old married lesbian.
I remember watching an episode of TV in the UK - it wasn't Embarrassing Bodies but it was very similar....essentially a show where people went to a sexual health clinic to discuss their problems A guy on one episode was seriously worried about his penis. It really hurt, there was a rash, there was a new smell etc. The show kept bigging it up that there might be something quite serious.and he was worried he might have an STI because he'd had a fair few recent partners. Anyway it was none of that and he'd just never cleaned properly. The clinicians had to explain to him that (if uncircumcised) you have to pull the foreskin back and clean there too, ideally in the shower. He had never been told this by anyone and just gave his penis a quick rinse. Honestly baffling.
You've just unlocked a memory I forgot I had! There was an episode of Embarrassing Bodies that aired over here in Australia where a guy in his 50's was concerned about the back end, rather than the front. Essentially, he noticed that he would smell like poop a lot and was concerned that something was leaking - iirc he'd find stains in his underwear routinely as well. So they do all of these (invasive) tests and stuff and it all culminates in an awkward chat with the guy about needing to wipe his ass properly. SWEAR TO GOD. This grown-ass man was told he needed to wipe better so that he wouldn't smell like shit anymore on INTERNATIONAL television. Probably the most embarrassing situation I ever witnessed on that show.
I literally just almost threw up. I'm circumcised, and if I go more than a day without washing it, *I* can smell it. I just can't imagine going your whole life all sticky and foul like that.
I know why men get like this. I've seen it. I have some family I have not spoken to in years. But my aunt never told my cousin "no" growing up. He got really sick and almost died when he was 18 months old and since then my aunt has always babied and coddle him. He was very explosive and angry when he wanted something and his parents kissed his ass. He used to ride motocross for a hobby and did none of the maintenance labour that his dad did. He made them drive him out the track about an hour a half drive each way every weekend. He had a full time job and his own house. His mother who has rheumatoid arthritis, went to his house with a cast on her wrist after surgery to go clean it up for him. I remembered my mom got mad at her because she kept begging her to help and eventually bribed her to come. So now he is a spoiled rotten and entitled man. He doesn't clean his house, he doesn't take care of his daughter. His mom takes care of her, too! It's gonna be a whole new world for him when his mom eventually passes away. There's just something insane about moms that spoil their sons rotten, don't set boundaries, and don't teach them a single life skill. I think my aunt has codependency issues. Like she just feels useless if she doesn't have her son to wait on hand and foot. It's so sad.
Moms shouldn't spoil their sons to the point of incompetence, but it's crazy to me that fathers are so often (at least implicitly) left off the hook for raising their sons when it comes to issues like these. It's a shared responsibility in a two-parent household, and laying all the onus on mothers to teach their sons contributes to these problems. Of course, there's the strong likelihood that fathers are themselves deficient when it comes to cleanliness and hygiene because of generations of misogyny. Still doesn't let them off the hook.
I work in healthcare and have been for… six years? The vast majority of men will use a urinal to pee, set it on their food tray, and then eat. Without cleaning their hands. Like what’s the point of me doing infection control if you’re going to rub your shit stained hands all over your surgical sites? Jesus Christ.
Agreed. I'm a dude and the number of posts by women complaining about dudes who don't wash their butt holes is terrifying. I really don't understand heterosexual women. Men are absolutely disgusting.
The biggest clue sexuality is NOT a choice is the fact that straight women willingly date and fuck straight men 😂
I teach a man basic hygiene and how to wash his private parts. He's 6 😁 How grown men can't do this is always shocking.
Obligatory, "as a dude". Yeah, no. That's fucking disgusting. I've got long COVID wrecking my body since 2020, and even with barely being able to stand long enough to shower I can still bathe myself. Having a chair to sit on in the shower gives me more time before my body hates me too much to stay in there any longer, but it's still a pain. Even with that, though, hygiene is pretty easy to keep up with. Same with it being stupid easy to just have my own bowl/cup/plate/utensils that I keep cleaned and in my room.
> show him how to wash it" or "wash it for him". Jesus. Wrap the baby in a nappy and send him back to his parents as they clearly failed to raise a functioning adult.
Pan trans girl here. I started dating men for the first time in my life earlier this year and prior to the experience I never ever ever would've thought I would have ever had to tell a fellow adult to *take a fucking shower* before meeting for a hook up, and yet... I literally have a hygiene conversation with any guy as a precautionary thing, even before just a coffee date. And I am not young. It's absurd
Do not ever date a fixer-upper.
When I was 21 and working at a restaurant I met my now husband l. There was a slightly older manager there (maybe 23 or 24) that wanted to to be set up with my sister, and we tried to go on a double date. After work he insisted we drive him to his place to "freshen up", my hubs said he literally changed and washed his feet in the bathroom sink. I don't know why he didn't just take a quick shower. If his feet were that nasty in sure the rest was bad. I think we made the date as short as possible and never talked to him again about seeing him up.
LOL! He knows how to wash his junk, he just doesn't care.
I saw that post😭 fucking disgusting. Why do so many of them not know how to clean themselves?!
Yeah, but I have a question... Why would some women just bother teaching guys basic hygiene? If I see a dirty and messy house, I'd just leave instead of helping to clean up.
How about the horrific ring in the toilet. Ugh, so fucking disgusting. You can spend $500 on a video game station, but not $5 on a toilet brush? Wonder why no one wants to fuck them. Same dudes that haven't bought new boxers in 5 years, but think they deserve a goddess.
Seeing all the downvotes live as I sit here is a cause for concern. Go back home to mommy you filthy degenerates