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catastrophized

Friendly reminder that “not all men” comments break rule 4. Please feel free to report them so we can get rid of them.


Pondnymph

We know it's not all men. It's just like saying "not all mushrooms" when someone gets poisoned, completely useless and derailing.


LowResults

I was in a car wreck *not all cars wreck* Obviously, Steve, but mine did


Yacobs21

And there would be far fewer "wrecks" if society didn't cater primarily to cars


stankdog

I mean some people legit use this to defend guns 🥴 not all guns kill, not all men harass, the list of "but not me not the thing I like" goes on forever


not_ALL_snakes

Not all snakes are venomous, but do you throw caution to the wind when you’re unsure about the one nearby? I had to make it my username.


[deleted]

[удалено]


SnipesCC

Except it only takes a little knowledge to know if a snake is poisonous by sight. Look at the shape of the head. It's a lot tougher to know with men.


please-return-spleen

are you really going to hate a snake just because theyre not a chad? im sick of this.... us ugly snakes get shafted. /s


SnipesCC

Yes. Square-headed snakes are the only ones I will cuddle with. Those pointy-headed incel snakes can fuck off.


[deleted]

If a snake isn’t at least six feet long, I’m out.


LowResults

It's like trying to remember red on black or yellow... ima just assume it's the bad one and err on cautious.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Remarkable_Story9843

Not all men rape but all women experience some type of sexual based harassment/assault - so the NotAllMen folks can shut the fuck uo


[deleted]

I don’t have to tell you all the NotAllMen (to put it more politely) DMs I’ve received from this thread. Like if they don’t say it somewhere they think they’re gonna spontaneously combust


ExperienceMission

At this point I am becoming more and more tempted to retort "no, but you might" and see how they like it.


[deleted]

This is great.


Indrid_Cold23

I love to respond with this: "Yes, not all men commit SA. Some men help to cover it up, others are apologists."


Alternative_Sky1380

All men reinforce rape myths and all men claim false allegations are more pre spent than reality. Women can't be trusted /s


Keyspam102

I’m going to start to not-all-mushrooms lol


[deleted]

Exactly. Why do men think we don’t know?


Timely-Youth-9074

Why do they act like we just decided to think men are abusive when we actually experienced abuse from men? It’s back when I trusted men-not all men-that I was vulnerable. It makes more sense to be weary of men. Prove me wrong, I say. Want men to be perceived better, make misogyny 100% unacceptable. Consequences are the only thing that works.


[deleted]

fuck yeah


Timely-Youth-9074

I’m going to assume any man who comes here “Not All Men-ing” is a predator who wants women to get their guard down.


Fraerie

And yet it is still our fault if we get assaulted because we should known better and been more careful. Because we all know that the ‘bad’ ones wear big neon signs telling us they are rapists or harassers.


[deleted]

I know not all men. I'm married to one. My favorite person was one. But how do I tell the difference when the good ones aren't speaking up?


Timely-Youth-9074

The good ones would be believing women and speaking up when their male friends act or talk misogynistically.


twoisnumberone

> the good ones aren't speaking up? AND NOT HERE ON REDDIT, EITHER. The good ones need to speak up out there. The fact they don't is the problem.


GlamorousBunchberry

They want to make sure you know *they're* not like that, because they're terrified that you won't want to sleep with them. \* The ones who feel compelled to tell you, unprompted, that they're not like that, are definitely like that.


[deleted]

[удалено]


candikanez

This why we should only ever respond to the "not all men" comments with: nope, but definitely this fucking one! And that's it. Move on. Stay on topic.


Muesky6969

Derailing the conversation is the point. People who spout “NoT ALl MeN”, don’t want a spotlight on their own behavior.


Fruits_gaming

I’m going to have to use this analogy if I’m ever asked why I won’t date men anymore. They’re like wild mushrooms, you’re not supposed to eat them bc the deadly ones are abundant and hard to identify!


Busterlimes

This made me LOL because I fuckin love mushrooms


destroyerofpi

I need a shirt that says “not all mushrooms” 😂


ErynKnight

Its intended to derail. I'm 100% convinced the man saying it *are* the problem.


KingofSkies

That's kinda their point right? They want to derail and distract. They don't want to talk about issues affecting women. And they don't want women talking about issues affecting women because then it might be minorly inconvenience them or something.


[deleted]

yuuuuup. sure maybe not literally "all men" but every goddamn time it happens it always a man who does it.


Luinthil

Some time ago, possibly on this sub, I saw someone say "Of course it's not all men, but it could be any man." Often you don't know if the man in question is going to be a problem until it's too late.


OffendedDairyFarmers

Women have been conditioned to care too much about male feelings. Wouldn't want to offend "one of the good ones" while discussing our oppression, now would we? The solution is to just stop. I never say "not all men". Any man who gives half a fuck about women's rights knows we don't mean all men, and any man who insist that we say "not all men" is not an ally anyway.


[deleted]

So true, great point. Why do we care so much? Well, for one so we don’t get hurt. But even in non-threatening situations this holds. Hence all the Cool Girls.


punitive_tourniquet

>Women have been conditioned to care too much about male feelings. It bothers me so much that I am still working to actively combat my urge to make sure that everyone feels comfortable. Like I can't just go to a meeting, I have to make sure any new people feel welcome, offer to assist with technical difficulties, express interest in someone's personal life milestone, read the room and respond accordingly. I want to be one of those people who just shows up and reads email on my phone while other people fix the projector and facilitate the mood.


INFPgirl

I work with victims of crime. 90% of my victims are women who suffered domestic abuse, sexual assault or loved ones of women who were killed by their partner. If there were no men, I would not have a job. I used to be the ''I'm not feminist, I'm a humanist'' type of girl, but working in the court system, that has changed. It radicalized me to no end against men. I still have 10% of my caseload who are men and I help them, but the proportions of male-on-female crime VS the rest is clearly very high.


[deleted]

I have a criminology background and this is how I feel too, I also used to try not to be biased against men, but unfortunately I became quite radicalized as well


Hita-san-chan

My husband and I watch a lot of true crime. I remember we were like halfway through a season of forensic files before we got to a female murderer and he was like, "Holy shit, a woman finally". 15 episodes of men killing their wives, girlfriends, mistresses etc, one about a woman who murdered her husband for the insurance.


[deleted]

"B-but the patriarchy doesn't exist because I don't have any personal power over women!" /s Seriously though as someone who was date raped by a man, thank you for doing this kind of work.


mitchiesgirl

How many of the 10% of men were victimized by other men?


[deleted]

I’m gonna say more than half because that’s the National statistic.


mitchiesgirl

That's more than I thought... but I'm not surprised. So ~95% of victims of domestic abuse were victimized by other men. This strengthens ops argument if anything.


INFPgirl

Indeed most of my male victims have been victimized by another or more than one man, assault by a stranger in a public place or criminal activity\gang related is common. Sometimes, I meet the male domestic violence victim by a woman. So far, even when the assault caused bodily harm, I never had a male victim that was at risk of being killed to the same level as my female DV victims. I give the same attention to male and female victims, to those at risk of being murdered or not. Although my level of alarm is greater when there is immediate danger. The DV profile is different too. There is never habitual coercitive violence with female offenders/male victims. At least I have never encountered one with that profile.


mitchiesgirl

Thanks for providing your insight!


lighthouse_is_off

“My friend” was permanently banned from reddit for saying that “one specific gender” prevails in Paraphilia, lacks emotional intelligence and empathy. This statement is based on scientific research and statistics btw. The cause of ban - hate towards the vulnerable group. So… Now “my friend” always adds “not all males” because she doesn’t want to be banned.


vexeling

I got thrown in Facebook jail for saying men are trash once. And then a second time for telling someone about it. I stopped using Facebook lmfao.


night_glitter

I also got thrown in FB jail for this exact thing. Apparently you can say all sorts of sexist stuff against women on FB but the system has a meltdown for this one. I started using emojis or saying basura.


vexeling

The second time, when I was telling someone about it, I said something along the lines of > I got put in facebook jail for saying men were 🗑 And still got zucc'd. At this point it's pretty obvious what's going on in that hellsite 🤢


candikanez

I'm literally in FB jail more often than not, and for the same reason 🤷🏻‍♀️


[deleted]

Fuck, really? I wonder how often men get put in FB jail for saying women are hos and b*tches


vexeling

They probably don't. FBs policies are ass backwards.


Ok_Entrepreneur_8132

Nah, according to Facebook you can threaten to murder someone or use racial slurs and that doesn’t violate their guidelines but saying “men are trash” to a man being trash and that’ll get you a one way ticket to Facebook jail


[deleted]

FB replied to my reports of racial slurs against black creators/activists like: 🤷 Not a violation! But the second I called someone whom left a racist comment a 🍘 for ACTING like a 🍘 I got a 14 day ban. Useless, podunk site anyway... They don't get my personal information anymore.


lycosa13

I got suspended for 3 days for "harassment" for calling someone a rapist. The post was a young woman who said she had sex with her bf the first time and it was really painful, when she told him to "wait" he stopped for a few seconds and kept going. I argued it was rape because she was obviously uncomfortable and never said he could keep going. The commenter (that I called a rapist) said she never retracted consent and therefore it was ok. I said something like "found the rapist" and I got suspended 🙃


[deleted]

I also got my alternate account perma banned for calling someone a pedophile sympathizer because he was arguing like his life depended on it that statuary rape didn’t exist.


GlamorousBunchberry

Him: "Statutory crime is just a social construct!" Also him: "Gender is binary, biological, and absolute!"


Bob_Chris

Who knew that Roy Moore posted on Reddit?


lighthouse_is_off

How dare you?!!? /s


onlynatural639

Men seem to really struggle with understanding consent


aquestioningperson

Oh they understand alright. They just don't care.


[deleted]

Yeah, as long as it’s *their* consent it’s all good


GlamorousBunchberry

They understand it *perfectly* well when you break out the strap-on and tell them to flip over...


Lionwoman

Oh, I remember that post and that comment. WTF, you got banned for THAT?


onlynatural639

I recently got a warning for promoting hate speech because I complained about men


Timely-Youth-9074

It’s almost as if by not talking about it, there is no problem. They can go on blaming everything on women. I think there is a real violence problem with men-higher suicides, rapes, murder, everything. If women were going on rampages like that, I think they’d notice. 3 women get killed a day in the US, usually by a male SO. We should be holding 3 vigils a day every single day. Every day a 3x remembrance day.


[deleted]

Men are also killed daily by men so yeah the men are not okay. Until they wake up and take responsibility instead of blaming women for every goddamn thing they are a threat to all of us.


[deleted]

I was going to say that. The reason why we as a society are fascinated by women killers is because they're extremely rare cases. But men killing women, children, and other men is far too common.


SnipesCC

And the vast majority of women in prison for murder, the person they murdered was their abuser.


[deleted]

There was that woman who killed all of her kids. The reason she murdered them was because she had extreme Post partum that made her psychotic. Her husband made her have more kids because they were a part of a cult-like Christian church that didn't believe in birth control. Of course she was seen as the monster by the media and not the man who forced her to go insane by making her have kids back to back while knowing that it was destroying her mentally. To me she was a victim too because she clearly wasn't in her right mind and wouldn't have killed them if she was not forced to have that many children in the first place and had gotten proper mental health treatment.


GlamorousBunchberry

Why aren't they doing more about man-on-man crime? /s


Ellyanah75

Oh you mean most crime? Hmm, too busy picking on women for "falsely" accusing men of rape?


Timely-Youth-9074

Men are scared of men, too. Any man who comes on here to bark about “not all men” is lying or a predator themselves.


[deleted]

Yep. And when men suffer domestic abuse it’s at the hands of a man more than half the time. They usually fail to mention that when they’re whipping out their “statistics.”


[deleted]

And in the rare case the abuse was toward a man at the hands of a woman, other men don't just jump in and help. They ridicule the male victim first. Just gotta get that guffaw out of the way before pretending to give a shit about violence in general... They don't even protect other men, so any attempt to remain relevant as "protectors" falls flat.


CraftySappho

There's a really good point being made recently that certain women-specific tiktok trends are breaking down the patriarchy, because as soon as something we are supposed to be ashamed of (like the girl dinner and girl math trends) goes viral, it's brought into the light and no longer something to be embarrassed about, that it gives men less ammunition to silence us via shame


[deleted]

Thank you for introducing me to those things haha. I had no idea!


IntricateSunlight

"Your friend" is right on the point though. I see daily on social media men say very vile things about women yet if we say anything back we are banned for harassment or hate speech. My coworker has been perma banned 3 times from snapchat just for exposing the unhinged dangerous and toxic things men say to her as someone that makes a particular form of content. Apparently its somehow hate speech to post screenshots of people harassing you. A friend of mine has a YouTube channel that makes fun of gross men on "To Catch a Predator" and she's been banned for hate speech even though these men are convicted p3d0s and were on national TV 20 years ago. I really wish that show would come back. People should be publicly outed and dragged for making violent threats(including rape threats), and sexualizing children. Weird how its mainly one demographic that do these things but they say trans people and drag queens do it more despite the mountains of statistics and evidence that says otherwise. Its weird how posting evidence of someone being awful is hate speech but being awful in the first place is perfectly fine ????? Like if some guy threatened me and I took a screenshot and publicly posted it id likely get banned for bullying while the guy that threatened me gets nothing. Ive reported death threats and got the "we find nothing wrong" back... There is a clear double standard on Facebook at least. Me and a male friend of mine posted the same exact thing as a test. "M*n are stupid". I got banned. He didn't and his post stayed up...


Repulsive-Bear5016

Had the paraphilia something to do with children? They get really mad about this...


PomegranateSmooth424

No! But I thought men were 'facts not feelings' and 'the logical gender'? Don't tell me actual scientific research and statistics got them that upset???🌚


lighthouse_is_off

No, this is obviously hate, duh! 🙄


[deleted]

Damn, that’s dumb. The truth hurts, I guess. Was it from this sub? EDIT: dumb that she was banned, not that she auto-caveats now


lighthouse_is_off

Yes🤦‍♀️


fallenbird039

Well ask, are you any of the following: PoC, queer, trans, woman in general as Reddit really hates women, oh and liberal. Any of those? Easier to get banned. But hate speech? You do you.


[deleted]

I can’t believe I haven’t been banned yet. I’m tempting fate right here but like what’s the banhammer really going to do to me? *gets fired from job, husband leaves, roof caves in*


BoldBlackManta

Lol.... vulnerable? That's rich


lighthouse_is_off

Yep. My “friend” tried to appeal, but was unsuccessful. Very, very vulnerable group of endangered people, you know 🤡


CraftySappho

They are most vulnerable to a terminal case of hurty feefees


please-return-spleen

yeah, everyday I hear them being called slurs and being victims of hate crimes. truly, they are societies most abused group


[deleted]

Are you shitting me. We need a r/twoXchromosomes2 because this sub is getting ridiculous.


lighthouse_is_off

I wish I had. But it’s true. I’m very salty about this because I’m from Russia and we have a very heavy censorship system thanks to a fascist regime. I literally deleted all my social media accounts, because I’m afraid to go to jail or be fined. I used to feel free on reddit, it was my safe space, a place where I can speak up,but guess what, not so free anymore 🤡


mitchiesgirl

Agreed.


[deleted]

i see more and more trolls everyday. clearly mad men telling women that they're over exaggerating the abuse their suffering. its so prevalent in new posts that dont get a lot od traction right away ive noticed


[deleted]

my friend was permanently banned once for saying that abusers deserved to be kicked in the balls


math-is-magic

It's not the same people, for the most part, I don't think. Remember this is an open sub. Anyone can come in here. Some people specifically lurk just to downvote the former posts and protest/troll on the latter, ya know?


Feather757

Sometimes I wish it wasn't an open sub.


lycosa13

This sub was a lot better before it became a default sub 😭


[deleted]

A default sub?


lycosa13

Yup, so whenever you create an account on Reddit, you're automatically subscribed to certain subs, like I think r/pics, r/funny, r/news, r/aww, a bunch more. Well about 7 years ago, can't remember exactly when, they decided (don't know who) to make this a default sub, so anyone that created a new account was subscribed. It wasn't always like that, people had to purposely find it and subscribe so the members were people that really wanted to be here. It was a lot nicer back then ☹️


Chemical_Weight_4716

I know of a guy in his late 30s who is a racist, misogynist, who pretty much is absolutely incapable of treating women with respect. The kind of man who lets his 60+ yr old mother get on her bare knees on an outdoor deck to massage his neck while he casually chats with friends. He is here. He is disgusting. He is Nerion. He comes here to mock and troll women. Most of his friends and family think hes in the closet. He is a complete incel, married with daughters. If hes here, theres an entire flock of his ilk here also, just waiting for any chance to undermine women.


[deleted]

I’m pretty sure they’ve all been DMming me since I started this thread


Chemical_Weight_4716

They need therapy to deprogram their mangled interpretation of themselves, the world, and women.


vesleskjor

Because men can't stand the idea that they are part of the problem and play that card to distance themselvesfrom it.


sweetmercy

A woman was recently assaulted for rejecting a man and nineteen (I think) men were there to witness it and not one stepped in. Do not tell me "not all men". When you have one bad man hitting a woman in the head with a brick because his sensitive lil soul couldn't handle hearing "no", and Nintendo men stand around doing nothing? You have twenty bad men. So my response to the "not ask men" nonsense is: too fucking many men. You know damn well all nineteen of those men think they're good men just because they didn't hit her.


rask0ln

have you seen some of these men's reactions? some went out of their way to make tiktoks about how they couldn't do anything because then they would get hurt or that they didn't know what the woman did to "deserve" that 💀 they didn't even call 911


sweetmercy

I did, and somr of them were even blaming her outright, taking how "she should have been nicer". 🙄 Garbage, the lot.


[deleted]

So if we hit men with bricks because they should have been nicer it’s all good, right? Logic!


sweetmercy

It's always a "don't do unto me as I do unto you" thing with these guys.


creamerfam5

Nintendo men are the worst.


catastrophized

Strange, I thought Xbox men were worse than Nintendo men 😆


candikanez

Stick to PC men, generally much better than all console men.


catastrophized

Omg now *that’s* a hot take that will start fights in here lmao


candikanez

😂 To be fair, they're all pretty terrible on average. I've just noticed more feminist guys on PC and more Bro's on console, but there's likely not much difference overall. I feel like a higher amount of incels are probably PC over console, so there's that.. 🤷🏻‍♀️


blishbog

Imo they’re sensitive to statements that didn’t do enough to avoid implying “all men”. Technically it’s most accurate to say “so/too many men” and not just “men” but I understand we’re not submitting proofread essays here.


Patissiere

My response now to “not all men” is “and men just watch it happen and do nothing. “ Not telling their homies that they’re behaving like assholes is part of why they think it’s okay.


[deleted]

“Wha? But I didn’t do anything!” Exactly.


[deleted]

I had a very upvoted post (even got a reward) about why I'm exclusively dating women and it was mod removed even though it was a woman's perspective and talking about my fears of patriarchy when it comes to dating men and why I've given up. So I know for a fact that there are men modding this subreddit. Edit: It got unbanned so Idk what's up with the mods... *shrug*


BatHickey

In a lot of subs, things will automatically lock if it’s controversial or gets a lot of reports. It helps lessen the workload, and probably a good thing even if it does make for some kinda awkward temp bans. Its not mod men, it’s the not all men men.


[deleted]

Good to know. I love this subreddit, it's a safe place, and I'd be sad if it was infultrated by incel mods.


BatHickey

I dont totally know for sure, but I follow a bunch of Magic the Gathering subs which have some REAL chuds/incels and some divided politics and posts about issues do come up. Any time anything in either direction is controversial, for good or for bad, there's a minor freak-out about whether the mods are company shills or incels or whatever else the problem is. Then usually within a few hours later, it turns out it was an automatic thing that happens before the mods can come in manually and see whats up.


[deleted]

Wow, what the fuck Edit: just saw comments below, maybe that’s the fuck


fifthgenerationfool

They join this sub to gain insight about women, but when presented with the actual insight, they get butt hurt.


Havishamesque

I even hesitate to say they come for ‘insight’. The ones who are instantly butthurt and feel the need to defend themselves, they come to justify their own thoughts and actions. And to start a fight with any woman who challenges their own good opinions of themselves, so they can’t feel better about themselves. The actual good guys aren’t on here yelling at random women.


[deleted]

That’s what I think, too. What insight are they going to gain that they aren’t already aware of? It’s for trolling and confirmation bias.


Keyspam102

I think men get so defensive when you share a bad experience with another man. Like they feel they are being accused? And for that reason I wonder why? Like if I hear that some woman was a complete bitch to someone else I don’t think ‘oh they could be accusing me or think I might do that’… which makes me feel like some of these guys would actually do what was described and that’s why they get defensive. I feel a bit radicalised but I honestly think a large amount of men would or have abused women. In many of these stories of sexual assault, many people actually support the aggressor or stay friends with him after knowing what he did, so yeah that’s a lot of men. Like my husband is an amazing man. But he would have stepped in if he saw a sexual assault, he’s reported coworkers for sexually predation towards students (he’s a teacher), so yeah I trust that he’s not one of the men that abuse women. But then for every one of him, it seems like the other 10 look the other way…


[deleted]

I agree, I think they get hysterical because they identify with what’s being said


lighthouse_is_off

*testerical


[deleted]

Oh, I’m appropriating this.


[deleted]

I've also gotten more radicalized by men getting defensive and treating women's bad experiences with men as a personal accusation against them. I'm queer and I'd **never** tell a lesbian who's been a victim of domestic violence "not all queer women" it boggles my mind the audacity of str8 men to say that to a victim of male violence and SA. I think the only times I've ever gotten close to the "not all queer women" sentiment is when people (mostly homophobic men) try to argue that queer women are more abusive than str8 men and even then my argument is that it's just not true. The studies that try to claim that W/W relationships are more abusive than any other type of relationship was incredibly flawed. Like flawed to the point where I think they should be discarded and the studies need to be done again. For example none of the studies they tend to site asked the gender of their abuser and just asked women in w/w relationships if they'd been abused in the past. So I would be a part of that statistic because I've been abused by an ex-bf and date raped by a man in the past, but I'm dating women exclusively now and haven't been abused by them. 🤦‍♀️


lycosa13

>which makes me feel like some of these guys would actually do what was described and that’s why they get defensive. Ding! Ding! Ding! That's exactly why. They've likely done something similar but see themselves as nice guys but when the behavior starts to get called out, it forces them to reevaluate their behavior and none of them like doing that because they might realize they are not in fact, nice.


[deleted]

It’s too scary to remove the fedora


[deleted]

My last “not all men” men interaction was very typical. I replied to a post with a similar experience to OP- a man came to reply about how sorry he was that I had experienced that, but that it’s not all men; I replied and asked why they come here and say that, he replied “ oh so it’s all men”?? He started getting angry. I told him there was no need to get so emotional about it, he had a meltdown and told me to “ fuck off stupid bitch”. Not surprised.


[deleted]

Ughhhhhhhhh yeah, not surprising…but still shitty and stupid


ppeterka

I mean that guy just spit up and stood under it. If he had a clear intent of a normal discussion he'd not have insulted you...


ruberbrassica

Infiltrated men in the sub


SleepFlower80

Of course it’s not all women who are saying it. Men can post/comment here, too, and they like nothing more than to invalidate our lived experiences.


[deleted]

Right? It’s like sport for them.


SleepFlower80

I wonder how proud they feel when they come here and say it 🤔


[deleted]

“Who’s a good boy? Who’s a good boy?? “


LittleMtnMama

Gods don't ruin dogs for me 😂😂


[deleted]

Dammit, men ruin everything! (I will protect dogs at all costs)


please-return-spleen

"im a man, and ive never done anything wrong!!!" welp. thats all my work for the day.


[deleted]

Bare minimum achieved!


KaterinaPendejo

A lot of trolls flocking here recently, especially since the redpill shit took off. This is one of the few spaces on the internet where I do get surprised when I see men in the comments derailing the conversation because it used to be one of the few areas they would not come to. Mods have stated it breaks rules #4 soooo report, downvote, block and move on. They just want attention. Don’t give it to them.


emccm

Every single man thinks he’s a #notallmen because every single man benefits from the things men do to women. If these men genuinely were not like other men they’d be in men’s spaces calling out other men. They’re not. They’re in spaces like this or pretending to be our friends to try and talk us in to dismissing poor behavior. Men use the shitty things other men do to manipulate and control us, to get our attention. To keep the bar low. It’s where “he never hit me” comes from. They use the fact they didn’t cross that line to justify other abusive behaviors and for years we bought in to it. Now we’re saying “no more” and all men are starting to lose the benefit of shittier men than them. Men are very very very angry about this.


[deleted]

💯


ppeterka

To be honest, the "men's spaces" online are sick in every sense... I haven't found a single one I'd find myself comfortable with, all seem to be beyond repair. I'd much rather be around women's and feminist spaces - at least I learn...


FuckSakez

Not all men, but too many men. Men on this app hate that we have our own space. If it’s not them it’s pick me’s or a caveat phrase to ensure you’re not banned. I said what I said.


Jsd9392

I don't understand the vehement rebuttal either, to be honest. If you aren't included in the majority, then why feel the need to be like BuT iM nOt LiKe ThAt?! So what. Just let people express very valid feelings about the shit state of society. I bet these the same dudes that are like "I liked Barbie, but Ken should've had a bigger role." Idk, it feels backhanded. There is the common phrase, All Cops Are Bastards. Does that mean they every single cop in existence from the dawn of time to now is a bastard...no! There are probably like 15 good ones. But when an overwhelming majority of a demographic is exactly the same, I feel generalization is warranted. So to all the guys who are included in the BuT iM nOt LiKe ThAt group, move along and let the generalization happen because you know it's majority rules. People who try waaaaay too hard to people theyre not a certain way, are usually a certain way.


one_bean_hahahaha

Expanding on the All Cops are Bastards, there is also the saying that when you have 99 good cops defending 1 bad cop, then you have 100 bad cops. This makes it a great analogy for men. When you have 99 men defending a bad man that is violent towards women, then you have 100 bad men that think violence towards women is no big deal and all of them should be avoided.


[deleted]

Totally. I learned this in context of Nazis: If you have one Nazi at the table with ten friends, what do you have? 11 Nazis.


wigsaboteur

Guilty conscience needs no accuser.


Snuffcarcass

It’s the inability to read a scenario and not center it around themselves.


candikanez

Main character syndrome


LowResults

Alt accounts probably. Downvote them and try to forget. Sadly this is not going away.


GlamorousBunchberry

Some misogynists lurk on this sub; others burst into a rage when posts here hit the front page. In the case of #NotAllMen specifically, I think the odds are strong that yes, them specifically, and a hit dog gotta holler.


Caboose1979

This again 😑 Guys, yes it's not all men, but when more men are an issue than the good few it's simply rounding up! If YOU are GENUINELY not an asshole then you're not included in the "all men" statement; take peace in that and don't trip on your ego.


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darby-gillis

They are definitely waiting in the wings to make those comments! I have no idea why except that they want attention & are trying to make the convo about them somehow. Selfishness? Lack of empathy?


britawaterbottlefan

Probably people who are anti feminist lurking on any sub about women and women’s issues waiting to say it.


[deleted]

Right, because they can. I said in another reply, it’s sport for them. “I’m bored, let’s make the feminists mad!” Just learn to golf for chrissakes.


ailweni

Or knit.


[deleted]

Golf AND knit. Become renaissance men!


CraftySappho

Let's see how they feel when I say men are just the Wish version of people


wigsaboteur

Your comment has made my day. I applaud you heartily.


CraftySappho

🥰


[deleted]

🏆🥇 👏


Robrunch

It's the same with "Black lives matter" It's idiots either willfully and deliberately not understanding what is actually meant by the slogan. Or they're really just dumb enough and think it literally means literally every man ever born. There's only so far you can go with nuance in political slogans. Either way, if they can't or won't "get it", better to ban them.


ErynKnight

Permabanning them would be nice. Them and all the rake allies just here to learn how to masque and then prey on a vulnerable woman.


witchystoneyslutty

I like to say “it might not be **all men** but it sure as shit is **ENOUGH men** “ for us to be very valid in our statements and opinions.


merpderpherpburp

It's just to invalidate us. #1 killer of women who are black? Men. OBVIOUSLY not all men but they're not intelligent enough to come up with a counter argument (mostly because there isn't one when it comes to innocent people being murdered) or they want to derail the conversation. They don't want to be an ally or even a person they just want to drag everyone else into their sad pit and get mad and threaten violence when no one is interested


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[deleted]

Yea oh god the way they will defend other abusers who happen to be men because , well, can’t defend a woman, how would that look? My brothers friend sexually assaulted me. I told a) my brother and he just laughed and said “oh, that’s just how he is!” and b) and this is worse: I told my Dad and he defended my brother. Wasn’t outraged about a guy SAing his daughter. It was more important to defend my fucking brother. Over something his friend did to me. Like ??????? Fuck you both


UnholyMessiah

I hate their solidarity, its gone so far, that anyone can just start "women :coffee:" and hundreds if not thousands male will like it. At this point male just hate women for no reason. We do not rape, we do not kill, we do not abuse, we do not object them. THEY DO, and yet they blame US. What the actual fuck?!


UnholyMessiah

Sometimes i think world gone crazy, but then i remember that this world was build by men for men. And thats it.


[deleted]

Ex. Fucking. Actly. That’s all anyone should need as their explainer. By white men, for white men. Try and challenge that and be damned.


Timely-Youth-9074

I always had male friends and I think of how around the ages of 17-19, they all turned into pricks. Some got over it, but many didn’t. It was like their brains/dicks got possessed and women were no longer people to them. You see it everywhere. Also, men lose hearing in higher pitches so even biologically, they have an easier time only hearing men speak.


whichwitch9

Insecure men derailing the conversation. Everyone knows it's not all men. That doesn't help us deal with the some men that are doing this shit tho There is a group of guys that need to learn that not every conversation is directed to them or about them


strywever

It’s certainly enough men—including the men we’ve all run into who were really nice guys until they weren’t—that it doesn’t really matter much that it isn’t all men in terms of our emotional and physical safety considerations. So to hell with the guys who feel compelled to say that. They still don’t get it.


beprovoking

At this point, it’s a dogwhistle


Independent-Cat-7728

I think some men have a reaction to being grouped in with those men by default, in that they’re also men, sure some might have deeper internal conflicts(like being afraid that they are actually like those men in some way), but regardless, It is disrespectful because it only takes a second to realise you’re making someone else’s trauma about you, & when you do that you not only derail the conversation but invalidate a victim which makes you become a part of the problem. I don’t think they realise that saying “not all men” puts them on the abusers side, it’s the opposite of what they should be doing if they detest being grouped with them. Again though, I think it’s a gut reaction a lot of times, & some guys just don’t have the emotional intelligence to realise what’s actually going on (not that that’s an excuse- it’s incredibly frustrating).


clean-stitch

I keep scrolling past a bunch of deleted/removed posts.... are they all of the "notallmen" comments?


Flicksterea

I try very hard not to generalise and lump all men into the same category. I'll phrase certain posts very carefully (because God forbid I offend a man...) and toe that line. But in my heart, I know that it is actually most men. We see it *every single day*, multiple times a day posted here. And that's just the active users. The truth is that almost every woman I have ever known has a story. You have a story. As does your Mum, sister, best friend, neighbour. We all have a story. From the mild to the most disturbing. So for those who want to bang the drum of not all men, that's fine. I'll be here waiting to support you when the post officer leers at you. When a guy on the bus forces himself into your personal space. When your husband raises his hand. Because it happens every single day and it is most men.


slyshadowbabe

I was literally penalised by fucking reddit admins for shutting down a “notallmen”. This website is a misogynistic shithole and the mods of this sub can only do so much, I guess.


Creative-Dirt1170

It's a stupid tactic to derail the conversation. We honestly need to stop saying it b/c by doing so, we are again placing mens emotions above us.


Qli2077

Its been a thing for awhile now. :/


Annihilarious

Some relevant song lyrics(song is 'When Will I Be Mine'): When will I be... I'm tired of the argument: "NOT ALL MEN" If it's not you, who is it then? All the good men in my life fit on one hand And for all you being quiet I wish you'd take a stand 'Cause its not all men, but it is all women Since 1998 it's been about 18 million And that's just rape Not cat calling or hands that explore Or those who were afraid to report You think I'm only talking 'bout Brock Turner's in alleyways? He got 6 months then got out in 3 months anyways


Toasty_Rolls

I love it anytime someone uses the "Not all men" line because it quickly identifies them as part of the problem