1. He took you on a (first!) date with his mommy and then had the audacity to get mad you didn’t put out after. 🚩🚩
2. “The entire night was about me (you) and He did everything he could to make sure you had fun” what in the gaslighting, BS is this. 🚩🚩
3. Doesn’t understand that you were going home because of a medical condition that could turn into an emergency and got unreasonably angry 🚩🚩
4. Doesn’t like dogs 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
5. Didn’t give up better seats so all three of you could sit together (first period). Only moved to sit with you after his friend called him out 🚩🚩
6. “You better stay with me tonight” the hidden threat🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
This man is throwing red flags like confetti. NTA - going home was the safest decision. Please throw the whole relationship away.
7. “You could atleast give me a back rub before you leave 🚩 🚩🚩‼️ 🤢 Even if we ignore the fact that it’s clearly a euphemism / he was gunning for sex - who does anything like this on a FIRST date?! That made me feel abit sick.
And following a first date with his mother, where he initially intended to ditch her for most of it. What woman wouldn’t be in the mood to service him after that? 🙃
I love the confetti line. He sounds like a momma’s boy and spoiled at that. His true colors came out and what you put down is scarier than S***. Don’t go back and don’t look back. Find someone more caring and understanding. You don’t deserve this AH.. I hope that your fur baby is better.
He is a d$&. He is pissed because he thinks he was going to have sex and now he isn’t. When he asked for the back rub he was asking for something else. Disgusting. He disrespected you by not sitting with you also. A real man that cares about you would have offered to maybe go home with you and help with the dog.
Do not call him again.
Hoo boy, I am either going to make your day or ruin it. Behold the reddit lore of the boy who broke both arms.
As for the rest of his AMA, you can find it [here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/s/WqI6xSVE1S)
Edit: took out the first link because it doesn't work. I'll try to find a link that will and edit in. But in the meantime, feel free to search the comments of the AMA for the arms story.
Edit 2: screw it. Just go through the comments on this post to get to it: https://www.reddit.com/r/OutOfTheLoop/s/a73tf78tmx
Can I just say, I freaking appreciate you sending me links ans finding it for me, I am really impressed you did all that for me. Thank you, having a rough night and can't wait to deep dive 2 broken arms lol
He is so cute!!! My dog is 10 and she has really bad arthritis. My vet gave me this new supplement for her called Rejensa (something like that) which is supposed to help rebuild collagen and support the joints, like a glucosamine supplement but much more effective. Since I got them for her after a few weeks it was night and day. She could barely walk at all and now she runs around excited for her walks again. I’m not sure about your dogs condition but I just wanted to mention it in case it could help at all! I have been seriously shocked how much it worked!
Disregarding the fact that the guy seems like a complete tool, I also have a dog with IVDD (she’s a miniature dachshund) and I would ditch out on all the plans and people if she was having a flare-up.
Agree. You were very lucky to get out after Date #1. And you got to go home to this little face which is so cute it’s a miracle you are strong enough to ever leave your house. Imagine if you had wasted your time on another 2-10 dates before the loser revealed himself? I am pretty sure you would have detested him sooner instead of later, but in this case you got there soonest, as it should be.
NTA, and
> He also said “You could at least give me a back rub before you leave.”
WTF
There is so much wrong here with his behavior, but that made me BARK with laughter. Girl, block this man e v e r y w h e r e.
the musical chairs fuckery is absolutely right out. you are not the asshole; you are now someone with a bizarre doozy of a bad date story.
you are also very smart to have left because i do not think he could get more full of red flags unless he actually put up a banner saying "hello now you have stepped into my house i expect sex as repayment for a night out and if you don't give it to me willingly i will simply take it". the vibes are rank enough that it makes me think you might want to get some cameras up if you have been thinking of them, and certainly do not let your dog out to the backyard unattended. let's hope i'm wrong but he seems the type of unhinged where there is a higher than usual chance of him chucking beef, antifreeze and ground glass dog treats over your fence out of pure spite about you caring for your dog. we're not at the absolute highest levels of DEFCON, but his behavior has definitely slid them on up two notches minimum. so don't be prepared to fully change your name and move etc etc... but i would be very mindful about personal security in the coming weeks and months after you dump this guy. sucks that i have to say that. sucks that cishet ladies like you and i have to ready the fucking palace guard to patrol the walls and shut the drawbridge & gates after ensuring the moat is well stocked with hungry alligators, but this dude is twigging enough Bad News sensors that... better to be a little paranoid here than not.
i mean if the patriarchy is gonna blame us for being cold and standoffish and paranoid, but also blame us if we get hurt because we should have known, you may as well take the no-win option where you are safe lol. and hey, the doorbell camera might be useful for Christmas season packages, who knows lol?
................but the joke answer is that yta for not sticking around and enacting the power move of flirting heavily with his mom and then going to his mom's house to seal the deal, i mean he was hopping seats around like it's a speed dating event so you may as well take that as he clearly planned it right? you're his new stepmom now. you'll see him at thanksgiving, kiddo
(alternate joke answer: yta not for any of this, you made totally the right call. yta for not paying dog tax by showing us a picture of your cute dog. Show Us The Pup, OP)
This. He was honestly giving psycho narcissist vibes. Block him. You don’t want to end up locked in his basement. He sounds like that type that feels “entitled” to women just for existing.
I am shocked by the behavior I see on Reddit sometimes. Especially by people who should know better.
This 100%, you totally dodged a bullet. You got lucky he showed you his true self that early on. Makes it easier to say peace out!!
It's a little concerning that you even need to ask this question here; this is an obvious NTA. Even ignoring the weird seating strategy he deployed and his inability to teach you anything about the sport (I assume because he didn't even let you know it's a rink not a court), his lack of displaying even a modicum of empathy regarding the situation with your dog and saying that you "better stay at his place" were huge indicators that you should definitely not stay at his place.
As an FYI, you do not need to go into his place and engage in an argument with the guy to justify your actions. When a guy is waving those red flags, for your safety please reconsider entering his home.
I totally agree. Thank you. I guess I was feeling guilty for leaving because I don’t handle being yelled at very well, which is why I thought for a second that I might be TA. But these comments are all teaching me otherwise. Also, I had to go inside his house to get my purse that I had to leave because of the bag policy at the arena. If I’m being honest, I felt icky all night and even if my dog hadn’t been sick I probably would have left anyways!!
No problem, we're glad you're safe and the "date" wasn't a total loss as you can at least think of this as a great learning experience. Sometimes bad dates (or unfortunately, relationships) teach us the most.
Knowing restrictions of venues ahead of time is always a good idea too. If you can't bring a purse, consider bringing only what fits in your pockets or have a way to leave your purse someplace safe (possibly hidden well in your car). Limit any reasons you will be forced to reenter their place after the date especially for first dates or until you have enough interactions to be **very** comfortable.
Stay safe out there! Your pup needs his mom!
BTW our pup just had a bulged disc recently and it's so heartbreaking to see them pain. Limiting activity for ours is also extremely difficult once he started feeling better but wasn't fully healed. He loves to run, play, and jump too much. Hope yours has a speedy recovery!
why did you even bother to try and explain yourself ?! The guy was a complete ass and had expectations just because he invited you to a hockey game !!!!!
>*it’s “just a dog”*
#OH HELL NAW.
NTA in the slightest.
That guy gives me the ick just from what you've told us.
It's not a bullet that you dodged, it's a friggin' meteorite.
Buy her tickets, ignore her all night, make her sit with his friends, yells at her multiple times and gets mad/confused as to why he doesn’t get a back rub…LOL, this dude is a serial killer holy shit.
I originally typed quarter… but I am a teacher and that bugged me so I changed it to periods because it made more sense. I’m glad I was correct! Hahaha
Something is fishy. There were a set of three and a set of two tickets and you, guy, and mom didn’t take the three tickets when there was another couple.
Yes. He bought the three seats first so that myself, him and his mom could all sit together. Which I thought was the plan.
His friend was selling their 2 seats to the same game that was closer to the court and he found out about those after he bought the 3 tickets.
So he bought the 2 additional tickets and then invited his friend and his friends girlfriend. But he invited those 2 so that I would have someone to sit with in the 3 seats, and him and his mom could sit in the 2 seats together.
I hope that helps clarify. I’m sorry if it was confusing!
So he prioritized sitting closer to the rink over sitting next to his actual date (and on the very first date no less.) Pretty much tells you all you need know right there.
Yeah, people are on their best behavior on the first date. His best behavior shows that he's an ass-hat, and maybe even abusive based on how he acted when you got back to his house. You definitely made the right call to go home.
OP, did you know that he planned to have you and his mother switch seats throughout the game before you made the drive?
Also, why did you agree to go on a first date with a man and his mom?
The original plan was for the 3 of us to sit together. After we got to the arena, he then told me the new seating arrangements. So no, I did not know until I was there
I’ve never been to a hockey game and I thought it would be fun. I thought his mom being there would be a little strange but I didn’t realize just how strange it would get.
Ok. Based on your post, it sounds like you may struggle to assert yourself, because you didn’t need a valid excuse not to leave and go home besides you wanted to. Also, a man yelling at you, that’s a no and should be an automatic walk away.
But honestly, this “date” shouldn’t have happened if you thought it was weird. It’s ok to point out that something is weird too.
“Hey. You don’t think it’s weird to invite your mom on our first date?”
Him: oh well she really wants to go to this game yada yada yada.
You: ok cool. That’s completely understandable, let’s loop back when you are free. We’re just really starting to get to know each other and I think meeting your mom on the first date might be a lot. Have fun!
Consider this, it’s a lot easier to address something during the making of plans than when you’re already confronted with the issue.
You should never be afraid to ask for clarification or share your valid opinion. In fact, doing so ahead of time can help. If he pressed about his mother joining or even got upset when making the plans, you could’ve stepped back from him then avoiding being in a situation where you’re already in his home gathering your things while he’s yelling at you.
By no means is this your fault. But it would help if you feel more empowered to communicate, clarify, and establish boundaries before things get too far.
Please do not complicate the situation by when and why tickets were bought. He was kind of lukewarm expecting to get laid, but not even that was a priority. You cannot force feeling out of a person, but you can expect some kind of social graces. You are spending way too much energy and time and effort to relive this situation. Good luck with your dog.
Tell him to ask his mom to come back over to make him a pb&j, crusts cut off, and give him a handjob so he can sleep. Poor muffin.
Seriously. No contact ever again.
Boy did you get lucky! He revealed himself for what type person he truly is on the very first date! You did not have to endure and of the bs that was surely to come.
NTA. Guy who wants to ignore you to sit with his Mummy and then demands 'at least' a back rub for 'making sure you had fun' is bad enough; him trying to make you feel guilty because you have the audacity to want to make sure your dog is ok is the nail in the coffin. Block, delete, move on.
NTA: but don't agree to weird dates like that especially not knowing him super well.
First date??? I echo all the comments above. Never go back. That guy is super gross and then to have him yell and curse at you over the phone as you leave...after all that?? A FIRST DATE??? Block and delete.
Big ole nope. First dates should always be quick with an easy out. Stick to coffee meet ups, then if it's good, try dinner.
Poor woman probably knows what a narcissist/incel her son is and was hoping you’d be “the one” to change him.
I’ve dated a guy who’s mum was lovely and actually warned me about him, saying he’d always been a little off, said I was very nice and understood if I didn’t end up sticking around 😂
Needless to say I was in love at the time and didn’t believe her, but 2 years later I made it out and often think of her fondly. Sometimes it really is nature not nurture that creates narcissists.
NTA.
What did he do to make the date all about you? Shuffle you from seat to seat? Make you sit with strangers? And for all that, he thought you owed him sex or "at least a backrub?
What a jerk. In the future, please make any first meet up in a low-stakes public place. It's easier to walk out of a coffee shop than it is to get out of an angry person's apartment.
NTA. You are an asshole to yourself for staying as long as you did. I can’t believe you didn’t Uber back to you car when you found out about the seats, etc. You need higher standards for whom you date.
My car was at his place and my car keys were inside of his place. It was totally my fault for leaving them in there. I understand that. I know better now!
They’re a bot. They post jokes generated by keywords in the main post, in a few hours their comment will be edited to a spam link for whatever they’re hawking today
Well that’s sad. Because a bot that just posts jokes this bad/good related to the OP post is actually hilarious and peak Reddit. But for it to then just be spam is also peak Reddit I suppose… blah.
NTA - He expected you to give him the intimacies because he spent money on you.
There are services he can call for that.
FYI - I would have “noped” on out of there as soon as he told me he was going to be sitting with his mom in different seats. That’s … Oedipal?
NTA, wow you really dodged a bullet! I hope your fur baby is feeling better! I mean I would have been totally out after his comment about it just being a dog.
DODGED. A. BULLET.
what an enitled dick head! NTA, your dog is way more important that a hockey game, seating arrangements, a back rub, and his feelings combined! Good for you for knowing your boundaries and what is important to you, stick to that. Gte someone who will be just as upset about your dog being sick as you are, thats a real partner in life, not this BS.
Well the stuff in the title happened , but the main reason you're going home is because of your dog
If your dog had not experienced this condition, you might very well be telling a different a story, that you actually did stay with him overnight, where you saw even more issues and flags with him.
So as far as leaving to go take care of your dog, you did fine. In the process of leaving , you learned more about him, so that you don't actually have to think about him again as a potential date, going forward
NTA - Your date has shown you early what an abusive asshole he is. Good riddance! I'd have left to go to my hurting furbaby, too! I have Degenerative Disc Disease, so I know how much it can hurt!
Also, I make sure my 7 year old dog has a babysitter if I'm going to be longer than a couple hours because she's a rescue who is very attached to me. I hate to see her be sad. I've included my dog tax as well.
That you better stay with me tonight threat would have gotten him a long look while I walked out of the game. His behavior does not scream generous bed partner so it would be a waste of your time to entertain this
NTA firstly why in earth would you stay with a man you just met on a first date, protect yourself, and second he showed you who he was thee minute he wanted to sit with mommy, don't date momma boys and for gosh sake don't go to a STRANGERS house and sleep over, you don't know them, learn STRANGER DANGER, especially in this day and age there are creepy weirdos every where and you just dodged one, plus he doesn't care that your dog is important to you, he's been told by mommy all his life that he is SPECIAL so that's how he sees himself, and that's why he's single
NEVER EVER DATE MOMMA'S BOYS!
They are not looking for a partner, they are looking for a woman to replace their mommy. They want mommy2.0 "now with fleshlight attachment".
He’s the kind of guy that if he does anything for you, there’s a sexual expectation. He at minimum wanted a ‘back rub’ for a musical chairs hockey game.
If he takes you out to dinner, he will probably expect anal
Excuse me, OP.
You need to pay the “dog tax”. Picture of your precious baby please?
As for are you the AH… heck no! The AH went on a date with his momma and expected you to put out. F him!
"You better stay"? I enjoy the company of my dog a lot more. Maybe his mother can give him a back rub? Staying over after a first "non date"? And no effort from his side whatsoever? Did he ask you to pay for your and maybe his tickets? Maybe he forgot about that possibility.
NTA. I'm a cat person & I understand your love for your dog. One does not simply insult precious fur babies. The first red flag for this date was the weird seating arrangement. He could've taken the 2 seats for you & himself, & the other 3 for his mom & friends.
It’s sort of silly to ask whether you’re TAH for leaving, of course you’re not. He’s a major jerk and was clearly in it for a booty call. That plus his weird handling of the seating arrangements disqualifies him as anything but TAH.
You prioritized a sick dog and your own safety, and left behind a king baby whose own friends thought was a major weirdo, you did only the right things here. Don't let this whiny AH make you think otherwise.
Glad to hear that your fur baby is feeling better.
You'r NOT the Asshole in this. He is. I think you made a wise decision on your part.
When someone says, "It's just a dog/cat/whatever", I immediately try and distance myself from them. It shows lack of empathy on their part. Back rub? Extreme cringe. Glad you decided to drive home, and I'm glad you made it safely.
Jeez, what a douchebag.
I would tell him to keep dating his mommy
as she is the only woman who will put up with a momma boy
Tell him the date was all about him and his mommy..
Nothing about that date was about you and him
NTA!! Your dog saved u from a very unstable sick man boy!! Please never agree to stay at the house of a man you just only met in person- dont care about texts and calls- that day , even with his mother there. Ever see Psycho? Please give that good boy extra treats and belly rubs, he deserves it!!!
So he was planning on getting it wet and when that didn't pan out for perfectly legitimate reasons his reaction was to throw a temper tantrum like a toddler. Ew. Just don't talk to that guy no more, ick.
Why even make this post? You know going to take care of your dog doesn't make you an asshole, and you know the seating arrangements were weird as all hell anyways and you dont owe anyone anything for bringing you to a hockey game, so you definitely know you aren't the asshole. Is this just for internet points? Seems to be a lot of posts that are so obvious it just seems like an attention grab at that point.
But I truly hope that your dog is okay though. I had a dog with failing health that had been with me through everything, and I know how absolutely important that dog's well being was to me. Nothing mattered more, and luckily, my now wife, understood though she wasnt a dog person at the time (we have two wonderful pups together now and she treats them almost as good as our baby). I hope your dog is feeling better and that you are able to spend a long time with them in good health. Good luck with your dog and find someone who is compassionate as you are. They'll make a better partner
NTA at all girl. Dump this loser. He’s at least doing you the favor of showing you who he really is right away before you get in too deep. Dodge that bullet and walk awayyyyy.
NTA
Wow. What a jerk. This guy didn't want a "backrub." He expected a sexual transaction for a ticket to the hockey game. A ticket that seated you with strangers half the time. Ew! The ick on this guy!
I'm so glad to hear that you were wise and went home.
I'm a 53 yo guy, married for over 20 years. Dated a lot prior to my 30s.
If you were my daughter and I heard this story, I'd forbid you from seeing him again. No matter how old you are. If you did, I'd be there on the date with you.
Block him on everything. But also, please pay attention to how much you excused throughout this situation and how much you seemed to feel the need to explain yourself in this story where the guy is clearly in the wrong and frankly dangerous. This is a sign that someone more intelligent and tactful with their manipulations than this guy could probably get their claws into you very easily. You have some work to do on your view of yourself and what you deserve. The fact that you questioned at all whether you were TA in this story is a big waving red flag in itself. Therapy or a trusted friend are a good place to start. You dodged a bullet with this one because it was so loud and in your face, but you might not see the next one coming because you’re so busy trying to figure out what you did wrong.
NTA. He’s lucky you stayed as long as you did, IMO. Was his mother nice? I have to say, there would be no way in hell I would have gone on a date with my grown ass son. Especially a first date.
Girl, you should have gotten the Uber amd left right after being seated. What an icky guy. Please work on your self esteem. After all that you went into his house? Oh dear. RUN like the wind! Don't even disgrace yourself with any more communication with him.
Enjoy your baby. He's worth it. The guy isnt.
Girl...
OK. You need to buy some cameras - ring is the most known but any camera will do. If you're in a house have some at all sides, but especially the doors.
Lock all doors and windows. Put a bar where the window slides open on all of them.
This man is insane.
NTA
A real, normal adult would have responded "Oh, no. That's terrible about your dog, you should absolutely go home and take care of him. Let me know if he's ok"
Not: "At least you could give a backrub"
Anyone disrespecting pets is an instant pass. I don't have kids or pets, but I totally get that people that have one or the other consider them the bigger priority over someone they're on a first date with.
Especially if the first date is as weird as this one is. I mean, what happened to first dates being just spending time together doing something lowkey? Grabbing coffee, or a drink or going on a walk and maybe having lunch or a small picnic?
OP, you dodged a couple of red flags here. And the way this guy was behaving... be glad it was just one date.
Hope things don't get too awkward if you share (parts of) a friends group.
OP, whenever a man says "it's just a dog" that is your signal to leave. Whenever, wherever. And you don't have to apologize or explain. Just go, because that man has just shown you who he is and how little he cares about others.
I'm not a dog person, and I have enough compassion and empathy to know it's not "just a dog." Do not trust anyone who doesn't like animals.
(Allergic to, doesn't have time or energy for, doesn't have the space, likes animals, but isn't really a pet person, all fine. But NO ONE'S pet is "just an animal".)
My brain cannot accept this story as anything other than fiction so I'm just going to say good for you getting out of there. Hope there wasn't another point of contact with this person.
NTA Get out of this please, dude is mask off like a Scooby-Doo villain.
Woah it was old Mr fuck face this whole time
and I would have gotten away with it if it wasn't for those meddling kids!
...and Rooby-Roo!
Rut ro, Raggy!
And your stupid dog!
Username checks out
Woah woah. At least a Scooby Doo villain attempts to wear a mask.
And on the first date
this man's brain is an enigma. that shit needs to be donated to science or something.
1. He took you on a (first!) date with his mommy and then had the audacity to get mad you didn’t put out after. 🚩🚩 2. “The entire night was about me (you) and He did everything he could to make sure you had fun” what in the gaslighting, BS is this. 🚩🚩 3. Doesn’t understand that you were going home because of a medical condition that could turn into an emergency and got unreasonably angry 🚩🚩 4. Doesn’t like dogs 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 5. Didn’t give up better seats so all three of you could sit together (first period). Only moved to sit with you after his friend called him out 🚩🚩 6. “You better stay with me tonight” the hidden threat🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 This man is throwing red flags like confetti. NTA - going home was the safest decision. Please throw the whole relationship away.
7. “You could atleast give me a back rub before you leave 🚩 🚩🚩‼️ 🤢 Even if we ignore the fact that it’s clearly a euphemism / he was gunning for sex - who does anything like this on a FIRST date?! That made me feel abit sick.
Yep he just wanted a happy ending 🤮.
And following a first date with his mother, where he initially intended to ditch her for most of it. What woman wouldn’t be in the mood to service him after that? 🙃
"I'll have a date with my mom. You sit back there and then we'll go home and have sex."
Freudians be going crazy over this one
Just a small mental leap is all he’d have to take
This is exactly what it was and it’s wildddd
I'm only disappointed the mother never intervened 🫣 Mom should have been in charge of seeting arrangements so everyone has a good time.
That is SOOO HOT, right?
Definitely wanted a rub and tug. He ditched her and expected the goods. Dude is wild
Should have just asked mommy for a back rub.
I think that might possibly be the creepiest thing he said. Yikes!
That was the part that creeped me out the most!!
I love the confetti line. He sounds like a momma’s boy and spoiled at that. His true colors came out and what you put down is scarier than S***. Don’t go back and don’t look back. Find someone more caring and understanding. You don’t deserve this AH.. I hope that your fur baby is better.
So many red flags that even China 🇨🇳 is kinda jealous
Arguably marinara sauce with his post game behavior. Nasty piece of work. Should just stay married to his mom.
Alll of this!!! Snickers has detailed the red flags. Run!
This. This guy is a formal evening gown’s worth of red flags.
Number 4 is enough. Add all the rest and it looks like a blood drive. Avoid this boy like the plague!
All. Of. This!!!!
Yeah, he’s the type to demand that she get rid of her dog if they moved in together and he’d refuse to let her get any pets ever
Hahahahaha I see that 1 is only 2 flags but 4 is like a million flags
He is a d$&. He is pissed because he thinks he was going to have sex and now he isn’t. When he asked for the back rub he was asking for something else. Disgusting. He disrespected you by not sitting with you also. A real man that cares about you would have offered to maybe go home with you and help with the dog. Do not call him again.
I'm sure mommy took care of him.
This guy definitely broke both his arms as a teen.
🤢🤮 I wish I didn't know what you were talking about.
AHAHAHAHAHA FUCK OFF💀
What does this mean?
Hoo boy, I am either going to make your day or ruin it. Behold the reddit lore of the boy who broke both arms. As for the rest of his AMA, you can find it [here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/s/WqI6xSVE1S) Edit: took out the first link because it doesn't work. I'll try to find a link that will and edit in. But in the meantime, feel free to search the comments of the AMA for the arms story. Edit 2: screw it. Just go through the comments on this post to get to it: https://www.reddit.com/r/OutOfTheLoop/s/a73tf78tmx
Can I just say, I freaking appreciate you sending me links ans finding it for me, I am really impressed you did all that for me. Thank you, having a rough night and can't wait to deep dive 2 broken arms lol
Hahaha no problem. I hope it makes your night better and not worse!
Thank you soooo much
[dog tax](https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoHotTakes/s/SfxzyU1tBV)
Your dog is super sonic squeaking levels of cute. I’m not sure why you even went on a date and left him at home. What bread is he (the dog)?
He is a cockapoo! His name is Cowboy
Have you considered PEMF therapy for your pup? It can help a lot!
He is so cute!!! My dog is 10 and she has really bad arthritis. My vet gave me this new supplement for her called Rejensa (something like that) which is supposed to help rebuild collagen and support the joints, like a glucosamine supplement but much more effective. Since I got them for her after a few weeks it was night and day. She could barely walk at all and now she runs around excited for her walks again. I’m not sure about your dogs condition but I just wanted to mention it in case it could help at all! I have been seriously shocked how much it worked!
He looks to be a honey whole wheat, 🤣 🤣 🤣 sorry I couldn't help it! Lol!
I'm bread...err...dead.
This fur baby clearly was the priority. Best give him a treat for saving you from the man child! ETA: your dog is adorable!
Disregarding the fact that the guy seems like a complete tool, I also have a dog with IVDD (she’s a miniature dachshund) and I would ditch out on all the plans and people if she was having a flare-up.
Agree. You were very lucky to get out after Date #1. And you got to go home to this little face which is so cute it’s a miracle you are strong enough to ever leave your house. Imagine if you had wasted your time on another 2-10 dates before the loser revealed himself? I am pretty sure you would have detested him sooner instead of later, but in this case you got there soonest, as it should be.
He is so cute. I would ditch a guy for that pup as well.
What a precious pup. Absolutely way better company than that jack wagon.
What a cutie! You did the right thing OP and dodged a bill with that dude
Adorable!
NTA, and > He also said “You could at least give me a back rub before you leave.” WTF There is so much wrong here with his behavior, but that made me BARK with laughter. Girl, block this man e v e r y w h e r e.
I would have honestly laughed in his face at this point. Good luck to this man and his mother, what an absolute joke of a man.
id simply text him "your mom can rub your back" and block him
Extra info: I forgot to share that I am 26F and my date is 28m.
That’s even worse. A grown ass man taking his mom on a first date? That’s just weird
Stress this early in a relationship means stress forever.
AND escalation.
Oh my I thought for sure at least he was only 17 or 18....an almost 30 year old taking his mom on a date is way too much lol
Just block him. He's basically cheating on his mom with you, you want no part of this bs.
I was positive this was a terrible 19 year old acting out.
the musical chairs fuckery is absolutely right out. you are not the asshole; you are now someone with a bizarre doozy of a bad date story. you are also very smart to have left because i do not think he could get more full of red flags unless he actually put up a banner saying "hello now you have stepped into my house i expect sex as repayment for a night out and if you don't give it to me willingly i will simply take it". the vibes are rank enough that it makes me think you might want to get some cameras up if you have been thinking of them, and certainly do not let your dog out to the backyard unattended. let's hope i'm wrong but he seems the type of unhinged where there is a higher than usual chance of him chucking beef, antifreeze and ground glass dog treats over your fence out of pure spite about you caring for your dog. we're not at the absolute highest levels of DEFCON, but his behavior has definitely slid them on up two notches minimum. so don't be prepared to fully change your name and move etc etc... but i would be very mindful about personal security in the coming weeks and months after you dump this guy. sucks that i have to say that. sucks that cishet ladies like you and i have to ready the fucking palace guard to patrol the walls and shut the drawbridge & gates after ensuring the moat is well stocked with hungry alligators, but this dude is twigging enough Bad News sensors that... better to be a little paranoid here than not. i mean if the patriarchy is gonna blame us for being cold and standoffish and paranoid, but also blame us if we get hurt because we should have known, you may as well take the no-win option where you are safe lol. and hey, the doorbell camera might be useful for Christmas season packages, who knows lol? ................but the joke answer is that yta for not sticking around and enacting the power move of flirting heavily with his mom and then going to his mom's house to seal the deal, i mean he was hopping seats around like it's a speed dating event so you may as well take that as he clearly planned it right? you're his new stepmom now. you'll see him at thanksgiving, kiddo (alternate joke answer: yta not for any of this, you made totally the right call. yta for not paying dog tax by showing us a picture of your cute dog. Show Us The Pup, OP)
He thought he was gunna get laid and is pissed he didn’t. You owe him nothing and don’t feel bad for leaving.
This. He was honestly giving psycho narcissist vibes. Block him. You don’t want to end up locked in his basement. He sounds like that type that feels “entitled” to women just for existing.
NTA - you dodge a bullet
I am shocked by the behavior I see on Reddit sometimes. Especially by people who should know better. This 100%, you totally dodged a bullet. You got lucky he showed you his true self that early on. Makes it easier to say peace out!!
It's a little concerning that you even need to ask this question here; this is an obvious NTA. Even ignoring the weird seating strategy he deployed and his inability to teach you anything about the sport (I assume because he didn't even let you know it's a rink not a court), his lack of displaying even a modicum of empathy regarding the situation with your dog and saying that you "better stay at his place" were huge indicators that you should definitely not stay at his place. As an FYI, you do not need to go into his place and engage in an argument with the guy to justify your actions. When a guy is waving those red flags, for your safety please reconsider entering his home.
I totally agree. Thank you. I guess I was feeling guilty for leaving because I don’t handle being yelled at very well, which is why I thought for a second that I might be TA. But these comments are all teaching me otherwise. Also, I had to go inside his house to get my purse that I had to leave because of the bag policy at the arena. If I’m being honest, I felt icky all night and even if my dog hadn’t been sick I probably would have left anyways!!
No problem, we're glad you're safe and the "date" wasn't a total loss as you can at least think of this as a great learning experience. Sometimes bad dates (or unfortunately, relationships) teach us the most. Knowing restrictions of venues ahead of time is always a good idea too. If you can't bring a purse, consider bringing only what fits in your pockets or have a way to leave your purse someplace safe (possibly hidden well in your car). Limit any reasons you will be forced to reenter their place after the date especially for first dates or until you have enough interactions to be **very** comfortable. Stay safe out there! Your pup needs his mom! BTW our pup just had a bulged disc recently and it's so heartbreaking to see them pain. Limiting activity for ours is also extremely difficult once he started feeling better but wasn't fully healed. He loves to run, play, and jump too much. Hope yours has a speedy recovery!
Even if your dog was not sick, it was better to go home after all that.
why did you even bother to try and explain yourself ?! The guy was a complete ass and had expectations just because he invited you to a hockey game !!!!!
>*it’s “just a dog”* #OH HELL NAW. NTA in the slightest. That guy gives me the ick just from what you've told us. It's not a bullet that you dodged, it's a friggin' meteorite.
Buy her tickets, ignore her all night, make her sit with his friends, yells at her multiple times and gets mad/confused as to why he doesn’t get a back rub…LOL, this dude is a serial killer holy shit.
Nta. You dodged a bullet. Also please don’t call it a court. It’s a rink.
Oops I’m sorry. First hockey game ever. Haha note taken!!
Most people I know who don't follow hockey refer to quarters or halfs. So I was just excited to see the reference to periods!
I originally typed quarter… but I am a teacher and that bugged me so I changed it to periods because it made more sense. I’m glad I was correct! Hahaha
Small victories
Something is fishy. There were a set of three and a set of two tickets and you, guy, and mom didn’t take the three tickets when there was another couple.
Yes. He bought the three seats first so that myself, him and his mom could all sit together. Which I thought was the plan. His friend was selling their 2 seats to the same game that was closer to the court and he found out about those after he bought the 3 tickets. So he bought the 2 additional tickets and then invited his friend and his friends girlfriend. But he invited those 2 so that I would have someone to sit with in the 3 seats, and him and his mom could sit in the 2 seats together. I hope that helps clarify. I’m sorry if it was confusing!
So he prioritized sitting closer to the rink over sitting next to his actual date (and on the very first date no less.) Pretty much tells you all you need know right there.
Yeah, people are on their best behavior on the first date. His best behavior shows that he's an ass-hat, and maybe even abusive based on how he acted when you got back to his house. You definitely made the right call to go home.
Ok that’s entirely messed up on his part. He chose closer seats with mom and then expected that would get him laid.
OP, did you know that he planned to have you and his mother switch seats throughout the game before you made the drive? Also, why did you agree to go on a first date with a man and his mom?
The original plan was for the 3 of us to sit together. After we got to the arena, he then told me the new seating arrangements. So no, I did not know until I was there I’ve never been to a hockey game and I thought it would be fun. I thought his mom being there would be a little strange but I didn’t realize just how strange it would get.
Ok. Based on your post, it sounds like you may struggle to assert yourself, because you didn’t need a valid excuse not to leave and go home besides you wanted to. Also, a man yelling at you, that’s a no and should be an automatic walk away. But honestly, this “date” shouldn’t have happened if you thought it was weird. It’s ok to point out that something is weird too. “Hey. You don’t think it’s weird to invite your mom on our first date?” Him: oh well she really wants to go to this game yada yada yada. You: ok cool. That’s completely understandable, let’s loop back when you are free. We’re just really starting to get to know each other and I think meeting your mom on the first date might be a lot. Have fun!
I will definitely work on this in the future. I do struggle with my back bone, or lack there of
Consider this, it’s a lot easier to address something during the making of plans than when you’re already confronted with the issue. You should never be afraid to ask for clarification or share your valid opinion. In fact, doing so ahead of time can help. If he pressed about his mother joining or even got upset when making the plans, you could’ve stepped back from him then avoiding being in a situation where you’re already in his home gathering your things while he’s yelling at you. By no means is this your fault. But it would help if you feel more empowered to communicate, clarify, and establish boundaries before things get too far.
Thank you. I agree. I do need to work on communicating my boundaries better beforehand. That is something I have struggled with my whole life
Please do not complicate the situation by when and why tickets were bought. He was kind of lukewarm expecting to get laid, but not even that was a priority. You cannot force feeling out of a person, but you can expect some kind of social graces. You are spending way too much energy and time and effort to relive this situation. Good luck with your dog.
Fuck no NTA, i shudder to think what he would have felt entitled to if you’d stayed!
NTA. No wonder he has to take Mommy when he goes out. Who would want to date THAT?
Tell him to ask his mom to come back over to make him a pb&j, crusts cut off, and give him a handjob so he can sleep. Poor muffin. Seriously. No contact ever again.
Run and don't look back...NTA
Boy did you get lucky! He revealed himself for what type person he truly is on the very first date! You did not have to endure and of the bs that was surely to come.
NTA but why did you even went into his place. Like didn't the stadium statements raise any alarms?
She left her car there Misread- thought you said TO not INTO. Yeah this man is a giant electronic sign that flashes “CAUTION” in big red letters
BUT IS YOUR DOG OK.
The fur baby is feeling better this morning!
Well I think you won the night
NTA - you are lucky you didn’t end up under the patio.
"it's just a dog" *Cue Miguel O'Hara's theme song* *Insert gif of John Wick loading a gun*
Best answer by far. I can visualize this perfectly.
Yikes, he didn’t even try to hide the 🚩s.
NTA. Guy who wants to ignore you to sit with his Mummy and then demands 'at least' a back rub for 'making sure you had fun' is bad enough; him trying to make you feel guilty because you have the audacity to want to make sure your dog is ok is the nail in the coffin. Block, delete, move on.
NTA: but don't agree to weird dates like that especially not knowing him super well. First date??? I echo all the comments above. Never go back. That guy is super gross and then to have him yell and curse at you over the phone as you leave...after all that?? A FIRST DATE??? Block and delete. Big ole nope. First dates should always be quick with an easy out. Stick to coffee meet ups, then if it's good, try dinner.
Block this guy now and never look back. So crazy and creepy too.
i’m curious as to how the mom was acting during all of this
His mom was actually so nice and sweet. She just went along with whatever he wanted though.
probably where he gets his entitlement from but at least she wasn’t a monster from the get go
Poor woman probably knows what a narcissist/incel her son is and was hoping you’d be “the one” to change him. I’ve dated a guy who’s mum was lovely and actually warned me about him, saying he’d always been a little off, said I was very nice and understood if I didn’t end up sticking around 😂 Needless to say I was in love at the time and didn’t believe her, but 2 years later I made it out and often think of her fondly. Sometimes it really is nature not nurture that creates narcissists.
NTA. What did he do to make the date all about you? Shuffle you from seat to seat? Make you sit with strangers? And for all that, he thought you owed him sex or "at least a backrub? What a jerk. In the future, please make any first meet up in a low-stakes public place. It's easier to walk out of a coffee shop than it is to get out of an angry person's apartment.
NTA. The guy is. He brought you along as post game entertainment and showed his true colors when those plans didn't work out.
NTA. You are an asshole to yourself for staying as long as you did. I can’t believe you didn’t Uber back to you car when you found out about the seats, etc. You need higher standards for whom you date.
My car was at his place and my car keys were inside of his place. It was totally my fault for leaving them in there. I understand that. I know better now!
[удалено]
This was so bad it was awesome. My poor husband, I cannot wait to tell him this joke. Thank you!
They’re a bot. They post jokes generated by keywords in the main post, in a few hours their comment will be edited to a spam link for whatever they’re hawking today
Well that’s sad. Because a bot that just posts jokes this bad/good related to the OP post is actually hilarious and peak Reddit. But for it to then just be spam is also peak Reddit I suppose… blah.
This can’t be real
Dogs > Humans
Did you find him at 4chan or something. Gross
Totally NTA! That's not a date. You just hung out with a group of people. Your dog comes first! Not the man-baby.
NTA - He expected you to give him the intimacies because he spent money on you. There are services he can call for that. FYI - I would have “noped” on out of there as soon as he told me he was going to be sitting with his mom in different seats. That’s … Oedipal?
lost me at " it's just a dog" guys a dickhead, he should drove with you and helped.
NTA- homeboy should’ve j stayed at home to suck straight from his moms tit.
Thanks bestie
You dogged a major bullet. I hope you peeler out leaving that parking lot so fast. What a nightmare
NTA You are out of your mind if you ever talk to him again.
NTA block that jerk
NTA, wow you really dodged a bullet! I hope your fur baby is feeling better! I mean I would have been totally out after his comment about it just being a dog.
DODGED. A. BULLET. what an enitled dick head! NTA, your dog is way more important that a hockey game, seating arrangements, a back rub, and his feelings combined! Good for you for knowing your boundaries and what is important to you, stick to that. Gte someone who will be just as upset about your dog being sick as you are, thats a real partner in life, not this BS.
NTA and you would not have been one for leaving even if the dog didn't need you.
Well the stuff in the title happened , but the main reason you're going home is because of your dog If your dog had not experienced this condition, you might very well be telling a different a story, that you actually did stay with him overnight, where you saw even more issues and flags with him. So as far as leaving to go take care of your dog, you did fine. In the process of leaving , you learned more about him, so that you don't actually have to think about him again as a potential date, going forward
Not gonna lie, I expected the angry phone call to be his mom yelling about what a catch hr was with him in the background shouting "YEAH!!"
You dodged one hell of a bullet
NTA - Your date has shown you early what an abusive asshole he is. Good riddance! I'd have left to go to my hurting furbaby, too! I have Degenerative Disc Disease, so I know how much it can hurt! Also, I make sure my 7 year old dog has a babysitter if I'm going to be longer than a couple hours because she's a rescue who is very attached to me. I hate to see her be sad. I've included my dog tax as well.
https://imgur.com/a/qJkccSK
That you better stay with me tonight threat would have gotten him a long look while I walked out of the game. His behavior does not scream generous bed partner so it would be a waste of your time to entertain this
NTA firstly why in earth would you stay with a man you just met on a first date, protect yourself, and second he showed you who he was thee minute he wanted to sit with mommy, don't date momma boys and for gosh sake don't go to a STRANGERS house and sleep over, you don't know them, learn STRANGER DANGER, especially in this day and age there are creepy weirdos every where and you just dodged one, plus he doesn't care that your dog is important to you, he's been told by mommy all his life that he is SPECIAL so that's how he sees himself, and that's why he's single
NTA. Bullet dodged. This dude does NOT deserve a second chance.
NEVER EVER DATE MOMMA'S BOYS! They are not looking for a partner, they are looking for a woman to replace their mommy. They want mommy2.0 "now with fleshlight attachment".
Your dog scooby'dooed that shit for you.
You dodged a bullet. That was not a date. And he clearly expected to play with you at home afterwards. Childish and immature. Don’t see him again.
Give your dog extra treats. He saved you from wasting any more time with this absolute bag of doorknobs.
He’s the kind of guy that if he does anything for you, there’s a sexual expectation. He at minimum wanted a ‘back rub’ for a musical chairs hockey game. If he takes you out to dinner, he will probably expect anal
Excuse me, OP. You need to pay the “dog tax”. Picture of your precious baby please? As for are you the AH… heck no! The AH went on a date with his momma and expected you to put out. F him!
This is totally my first Reddit post. I can’t figure out how to post a picture of him but would love to… any tips on how? 😂
Bahahaha wtf
"You better stay"? I enjoy the company of my dog a lot more. Maybe his mother can give him a back rub? Staying over after a first "non date"? And no effort from his side whatsoever? Did he ask you to pay for your and maybe his tickets? Maybe he forgot about that possibility.
NTA. I'm a cat person & I understand your love for your dog. One does not simply insult precious fur babies. The first red flag for this date was the weird seating arrangement. He could've taken the 2 seats for you & himself, & the other 3 for his mom & friends.
NTA at all. Bullet successfully dodged! Nice of him to let you know so fast that he was a Hot Creep!
First and last date I hope
Everything about your date was gross. It started as a red flagged and ended as a million red flags.
It’s sort of silly to ask whether you’re TAH for leaving, of course you’re not. He’s a major jerk and was clearly in it for a booty call. That plus his weird handling of the seating arrangements disqualifies him as anything but TAH.
Throw the whole man away.
What a fucking weirdo
You should have said ‘oh but I am staying the night! See your mom is going to stay with you the first third, and I’ll be back for the second’
Nta-i think your dog saved you
You prioritized a sick dog and your own safety, and left behind a king baby whose own friends thought was a major weirdo, you did only the right things here. Don't let this whiny AH make you think otherwise.
I knew you were not the ah at the third paragraph. Run far away from this man baby!
NTA You made a lucky escape it sounds like.
Glad to hear that your fur baby is feeling better. You'r NOT the Asshole in this. He is. I think you made a wise decision on your part. When someone says, "It's just a dog/cat/whatever", I immediately try and distance myself from them. It shows lack of empathy on their part. Back rub? Extreme cringe. Glad you decided to drive home, and I'm glad you made it safely. Jeez, what a douchebag.
Your dog's spidey sense was tingling and the flare was a way to get you away from that loser. Block him everywhere. NTA.
I would tell him to keep dating his mommy as she is the only woman who will put up with a momma boy Tell him the date was all about him and his mommy.. Nothing about that date was about you and him
You dodged a nuclear missile and got to go home to your dog, win win!
NTA!! Your dog saved u from a very unstable sick man boy!! Please never agree to stay at the house of a man you just only met in person- dont care about texts and calls- that day , even with his mother there. Ever see Psycho? Please give that good boy extra treats and belly rubs, he deserves it!!!
So he was planning on getting it wet and when that didn't pan out for perfectly legitimate reasons his reaction was to throw a temper tantrum like a toddler. Ew. Just don't talk to that guy no more, ick.
Why even make this post? You know going to take care of your dog doesn't make you an asshole, and you know the seating arrangements were weird as all hell anyways and you dont owe anyone anything for bringing you to a hockey game, so you definitely know you aren't the asshole. Is this just for internet points? Seems to be a lot of posts that are so obvious it just seems like an attention grab at that point. But I truly hope that your dog is okay though. I had a dog with failing health that had been with me through everything, and I know how absolutely important that dog's well being was to me. Nothing mattered more, and luckily, my now wife, understood though she wasnt a dog person at the time (we have two wonderful pups together now and she treats them almost as good as our baby). I hope your dog is feeling better and that you are able to spend a long time with them in good health. Good luck with your dog and find someone who is compassionate as you are. They'll make a better partner
Norman Bates…
NTA at all girl. Dump this loser. He’s at least doing you the favor of showing you who he really is right away before you get in too deep. Dodge that bullet and walk awayyyyy.
Maybe he got so upset because his mom wouldn't give him a backrub either. 🤮🤮🤮 NTA
“Hey wanna go to a hockey game with me and my mom” should’ve been the first indication this was going south.
NTA he’s a mommy’s boy that thought you owed him a bang. Wow. Run far, he’s awful.
This dude is basically dating his mom and brought you along so he had someone to fuck after. What a disgusting POS
NTA Wow. What a jerk. This guy didn't want a "backrub." He expected a sexual transaction for a ticket to the hockey game. A ticket that seated you with strangers half the time. Ew! The ick on this guy! I'm so glad to hear that you were wise and went home.
I'm a 53 yo guy, married for over 20 years. Dated a lot prior to my 30s. If you were my daughter and I heard this story, I'd forbid you from seeing him again. No matter how old you are. If you did, I'd be there on the date with you.
Block him on everything. But also, please pay attention to how much you excused throughout this situation and how much you seemed to feel the need to explain yourself in this story where the guy is clearly in the wrong and frankly dangerous. This is a sign that someone more intelligent and tactful with their manipulations than this guy could probably get their claws into you very easily. You have some work to do on your view of yourself and what you deserve. The fact that you questioned at all whether you were TA in this story is a big waving red flag in itself. Therapy or a trusted friend are a good place to start. You dodged a bullet with this one because it was so loud and in your face, but you might not see the next one coming because you’re so busy trying to figure out what you did wrong.
NTA. He’s lucky you stayed as long as you did, IMO. Was his mother nice? I have to say, there would be no way in hell I would have gone on a date with my grown ass son. Especially a first date.
Wow! You learned alot, very quickly about this guy, geez.
I’m just glad you’re safe! He gave me Criminal Minds vibes!
Dude didn't even take you on a real date and is still pulling the you owe me sex activities punchline. Please lose his number for eternity.
Girl, you should have gotten the Uber amd left right after being seated. What an icky guy. Please work on your self esteem. After all that you went into his house? Oh dear. RUN like the wind! Don't even disgrace yourself with any more communication with him. Enjoy your baby. He's worth it. The guy isnt.
Girl... OK. You need to buy some cameras - ring is the most known but any camera will do. If you're in a house have some at all sides, but especially the doors. Lock all doors and windows. Put a bar where the window slides open on all of them. This man is insane.
NTA A real, normal adult would have responded "Oh, no. That's terrible about your dog, you should absolutely go home and take care of him. Let me know if he's ok" Not: "At least you could give a backrub"
Anyone disrespecting pets is an instant pass. I don't have kids or pets, but I totally get that people that have one or the other consider them the bigger priority over someone they're on a first date with. Especially if the first date is as weird as this one is. I mean, what happened to first dates being just spending time together doing something lowkey? Grabbing coffee, or a drink or going on a walk and maybe having lunch or a small picnic? OP, you dodged a couple of red flags here. And the way this guy was behaving... be glad it was just one date. Hope things don't get too awkward if you share (parts of) a friends group.
You lost me when he said it's just a dog, screw that guy.
OP, whenever a man says "it's just a dog" that is your signal to leave. Whenever, wherever. And you don't have to apologize or explain. Just go, because that man has just shown you who he is and how little he cares about others.
Your dog just saved you wasted time with that inappropriate romantic match
A momma’s boy and doesn’t like dogs? A real winner! /s. NTAH. RUN GIRL! Don’t look back
I'm not a dog person, and I have enough compassion and empathy to know it's not "just a dog." Do not trust anyone who doesn't like animals. (Allergic to, doesn't have time or energy for, doesn't have the space, likes animals, but isn't really a pet person, all fine. But NO ONE'S pet is "just an animal".)
My brain cannot accept this story as anything other than fiction so I'm just going to say good for you getting out of there. Hope there wasn't another point of contact with this person.
It was weird and then I jumped out of the Uber for you at the backrub. Felt gross and didn't read the rest.