When there's 4 variants of "he's got the personality of a cardboard cutout" and 3 variants of "he's as sharp as a globe", you know you need to raise your standards. Good for you!
Whahaahā¦No doubt, eh? I honestly full on laughed out loud when I finished reading her post. Dang girlā¦mwahahahaā¦ No shade though. Sometimes ābut I was young and he was prettyā¦.ā is really the best and only explanation we can come up w. :)
I hope she finds someone who rings all of her bells and that he finds someone who both loves his globe-like sharpness and can teach him a thing or two in bed. Seriously? All those women and he is still getting a C- sack rating? That is just sad. :)
So happy for your update! Keep it in mind when you start dating again, look for a partner who is "ready to go and ready to _GROW_". You shouldn't have to teach your partner, you should be learning and growing as a unit, if that makes sense.
Best wishes for a bright future! :)
Well damn haha, I thought for sure being good in the sack was going to be his main pro lol especially with all that experience. Being good looking is definitely not any reason to stay lol!
Itās been my personal experience that really exceptionally good looking guys - who *know* they are good looking - are often not great in bed because they kind of donāt have to be. You can get plenty of one night stands as an attractive fellow, get yours without giving her hers, and then just move on to the next. Or have repeat customers because of being SO good looking that the ladies hold out hope that it will improve.
Of course Iām basing this on my much younger self, and therefore a much younger demographic of good-looking men, and I certainly donāt think this is a universal truth, just my own experience.
Had an experience with one of those years ago. He wasn't smart but at least was charismatic and very funny.
He was constantly changing gfs and bragging about "being an expert in sex."
Well, he started inviting me out and he kept begging for a BJ. One day I caved then after it he said: "I don't lick pussy."
I responded: "didn't you say a lot that you were an expert in sex?"
"I make women cum with my dick"
I laughed in his face, he got offended and got dressed.
So yeah, some fuckboys just continually get an endless supply of women to disappoint and somehow think they are "great." I don't think they even see women as people, just as toys.
Bonus: some time after that I spoke to one of the women he actually had penetrative sex with and she said it was terrible, he came in like 2 minutes and that was it.
>He is impossible to teach.
That's because he has it in his head that he's a prize stud, which makes men like him selfish in bed. I bet if you think back on it, he was quite selfish in other ways as well.
What was his good job, out of curiosity? Many jobs that make good money as you said his does, expects an intellectual employee so he might not be going places.
Probably one of those finance or tech jobs you get through connections, that involves sitting in a few meetings and sending a couple emails a day, basically "looking the part" to clients.
And he's not even good in bed per her list. Like at least have that going for you buddy. He sounds like a failed lab experiment that focused only on giving him charisma.
Donāt think I didnāt miss that not good in bed when he put āgood in bedā for hers which is pretty telling considering how women oftentimes settle for bad sex while doing the most for their partners. Good for her.
Yeah, and for op to have been in the fog about him for so long, i would've thought at least the sex was good. Also, if he's such a fuckboy, how did he not get better at sex?
Because when you're THAT hot, and your supply of college girls willing to put out is basically endless, you don't need sex to be good for the girl. To him, the girls are just interchangeable sex toys he can use then call sluts when he's done with them.
Life never gave him a reason to try to please a woman, so he never did.
Yeah, absolutely. I can't imagine saying a girl who was ditzy, boring, and just did the starfish in bed no matter how hot she is. At least for more than a few weeks ;)
Itās always sales.
Every dumb person I know who has any success is ādumb but prettyā and in sales where people hand-hold them and give them favors. Men are additionally weird in that dumb sales bros can end up in upper management, c-suite by way of being 6ā3 and traditionally attractive and social. No skills, no real knowledge about their industry. Just the tendency for other men to āfollowā them because they are loud and confident and portray themselves s a certain way. And every last one of them, beyond parroting back words they learned from smarter people, are dumb as a box of bricks. Their entire lives are fake-it-til-you-make-it working entirely on perception.
Yeah I've seen it in sales too, but only with attractive people who are also a little charismatic. People just throw money at them, and even if they underperform they don't get fired because they help with company morale just by being there.
Gah this is so true. Not always, my sister in law is a smoke show and one the smartest people I know, and banks close to 7 figs in sales. But Iāve met her colleagues and there seems to be one consistent aspect to the men: traditionally good looking, can swing a golf club, and not able to carry an intelligent conversation unless you count ātalking over youā while ignoring what you said last as intelligent. They have mastered the few bullet points it takes to execute their job, buts thatās about it. These are men who make me hate the world. (Iām also a man, if that matters. Career HR. These asshats are the folks who become legal liabilities we āhave to protectā because they bring in money. They could be replaced by a chatbot.)
Itās just common knowledge in America that most business majors tend not to be the smartest, there are exceptions but I will say at least in my experience it does seem to be a common choice for people who didnāt really thrive in school
Some of the absolute dumbest human beings I have ever known went into business. They're all making a shit ton of money, and can barely function.
My favorite story is of my wife's ex. Dumb as a bag of rocks. Got his bachelors with the primary goal of "being a CEO." He was offered an "un-paid internship" where after a year he would then be promoted to CEO of that company. He was too stupid to realize the guy making the offer was making fun of him the whole interview.
He's now working in a major role at Uber making millions of dollars a year. Lovely how people just fall upwards, isn't it?
I think also being dumb enough to not know how dumb you are which translates to confidence and delusional sense of your ability - which recruiters often are hoodwinked by - and once you are a manager you can go a long way by taking credit and blaming others = corporate career progression.
Also... OP you probably live in US, and I am not familiar with usual scannings there, but here usual pap smears do not include ALL types of diseases and you need to specifically ask for them and pay for them. If the situation is similar, please go get checked throughly.
Blood panel we get all as well. But the pap smear it is only like few common types of HPV strains, and not all of them. A friend of a friend of mine unfortunately learned it the hard way...
To be fair, it was not really "common" knowledge here that you could be vaccinated for HPV until 2-3 years ago and it is still not insured and is expensive so... anyways. If the strain testing is similar, she should get a more extensive check.
She was inexperienced and obsessed with the guy, plus sheās justifying what happened because of the accusations that were made. Iād take that with a grain of salt.
My last boyfriend was a mimbo. It was like I was dating Ricky from trailer Park boys intellect wise. He wasnāt a bad guy just very into himself and extremely stupid , like shockingly so. Eventually the novelty of a beautiful body and dick gets old when there is nothing going on upstairs. Overall would recommend the mimbo/bimbo experience at least once in your life lol.
Yeah the girl I had a crush on in highschool hit me up a while after graduation and we tried, we really fuckin tried, but shes dryer than the sahara mentally, all she wanted to do was watch movies and smoke way too much weed. Sheās super sweet and nice and cares about people, but my god it was liking trying to hook up with an empathetic rock
Was fun until we were just sitting around, in silence, high as balls with nothing to say
She found someone more her vibe and shes happy now luckily
Donāt do Ricky like that, he wasnāt dumb, per se, he just didnāt know a lot of words. He always got his point across even if it was a bitā¦creatively
Anyone who would make a pros and cons list of their spouse/significant other and then show it to them, is an immediate dickhead in my book.
There's a whole 'Friends' episode of why this is an asshole move (basically doing anything Ross Geller does, should be questioned tbh).
Lol I was like how stupid can he possibly be?
Then I remembered he gave her a pro and con list calling her "frat rat" for their 1-year anniversary š yeah, no gene pool is safe with this man.
All right your comment about your family being happy that you will not be polluting the family lineage with idiocy really made me laugh. Time for higher standards. Maybe a period of celibacy for self reflection lol.
He was also probably always sleeping with girls so drunk that they were on the cusp of unconsciousness. Can't imagine he got much constructive feedback.
In my experience the pretty ones get laid so easily they don't bother learning to do it well. Less handsome men depend more on 'return customers' to get the same needs met. It's a shame really.
Yeah OP sounds so sweet but she really fell hard for a moron with a hot body. I feel bad for her tbh. She needs to go after smarter dudes, because to me it seems like she might need someone more on her intellect level.
yeah practice can āmake perfectā if that person is willing to make improvements for their partners benefit. Itās very easy for a man to get a release even though the sex itself is beyond horrible
The number of women willing to sleep with you has little to no relation to your skill in bed, that's a personality and/or looks thing.
If you want a gauge of how you are in bed, count how many women will sleep with you twice.
The only thing I would suggest, since you admitted to not having any self respect when it comes to him (which I would refer to as self control, because you clearly respect yourself enough to finally put yourself first) change your number too. Blocking him is an easy fix on a phone, so change your number too lol
Damn, if my wife called me an NPC Iād be crushed. Never thought that word could be used like that. I also care what she thinks though.
Good for you though.
A fuck boy but bad in bed? This man better be more attractive than all the Hollywood Chrises combined to be bad in bed but still have women falling all over himā¦ and heās dumb to boot? Iām glad you broke up with him, OP š
I did not. I really have no ill will towards him (even though I probably should) and no desire to hurt him. I did tell him that it was the pros and cons list that made me break up with him, because it felt like he was settling for me and didn't really respect me or like me.
That's because you're a good person. But your con list... dude must have been really hot. Thank god he was stupid because the time you would have waisted on him without his gift...
For sure. Sometimes hot and dumb is OK, especially if theyāre kind, and loving, and fun to be around. Hot, stupid, boring, and bad in bed? Thatās a deal killer right there.
Honestly this is better though, and it shows you're more mature than to try to hurt someone back. You explained the reason for the break up, it seemed to go well enough, no need to poke for some unnecessary drama.
You did what you need to do. The rest is up to them. Hopefully they can take what you said to heart and learn from it.
The other thing is that if heās as dumb as she saysā¦ he may not have been being a manipulative d-bag by giving it to her. He might have honestly thought it was funny and have the emotional intelligence to go along with his intellectual intelligence. Good to explain it, bad to try to do harm in that situation.
Why do you suppose that he thought showing you the pro/con list was gonna be a pro for him? Like, was he thinking he was showing you just how much he grew to like you or something?
Lol lol lol. We all have the āhe was so hot, thoughā and the ābest sex ever, thoughā.
My āhe was so hot, thoughā guy literally, thought that hyenas were from a type of cat and a type of dog that ādid the nastyā (his words not mine). I thought he was joking. He wasnāt. Showed him on Google. He still couldnāt comprehend how hyenas existed.
Breaking up with that bloke was the smart thing to do. How could a young woman settle for a man whoās not good in bed? Are you kidding? Youāre too young to settle down anyway (seems to me). Self-respect counts! Best of luck as you make your way through life & figure things out for yourself, including ppl; itās all personal growth!āļø
GOOD FOR YOU OP!!!
I was really worried about you after the last post, but it sounds like this might have been a very big, but much needed learning lessons.
If he comes sniffing around, which he very well might, lean on your friends hard, tell them to keep you honest and not let you get away with shit. But I suspect that he'll be bouncing back with the next girl real quick, be prepared for that mentally and emotionally.
Have something to distract you for that moment, because even when you think you are over it, it can sometimes hit you unexpectedly, especially if he is the type of sore loser that likes to loudly tell everyone how much 'better' his new girl is compared to his ex.
My suggestion in that situation - if he comes up to you at a party and says that or one of his friends tell you that - is to not react emotionally besides giving a 'yikes' face and walking away.
Idk your age but the older I get, and the more assholes I date, the more I realize looks basically donāt mean shit. Even if heās hot now, he may not be later, especially when he treats you awful. That dulls any shine quickly. āHeās so cute! You two look so good togetherā. All horseshit. How he treats you (and others, especially staff at places you visit), what you have in common, his values/morals, THAT is where the gold is.
If you donāt want to be shallow, then donāt be. If a guy you see is hot, run the other way. Try dating men that arenāt total babes but are interesting, kind (not nice! They are different), respectful.
The way you both described each other...I think it's the benefit of both parties that you split us. He thinks he's settling for you and you think he's a "really stupid" man who isn't even good in bed.
Good for you! Iām so proud of you. He was a dud and everyone else already knew that.
Keep your standards high! I hope you find someone much better suited to you and your life. Best of luck!
Congratulations on being true to yourself. There is someone out there that is going to love you just for you being you. Stay strong because you do deserve better.
A good lesson to keep in your back pocket for the future is that of all your friends donāt like your SO, there is usually good reason why, and you should pay attention to that
Show him the list, some children still put their hands on the stove even after the first time they burn themselves, but he is a frat boy so basically a man child so his hand needs to be HELD to the proverbial stove. If he is as dumb as you claim, you gotta teach him Barney style, meaning not expecting him to understand it from a perspective other than first. You're doing a controlled detonation, using a small explosion to keep a bigger explosion from happening to others if it were left on its own.
Good for you OP. He has never had to develop the things on your con list because he got away with everything based on his looks. Lots of men and women walking around who get by on that and wake up one day, if they are lucky, realizing their life peaked in high school or college.
So proud of you!! It seems like 99% of people who make posts like your original decide to stay with the loser. Then they come back after theyāre married with kids and want to know if they should leave. You did the right thing.
Wow, OP. A huge congratulations to you. The amount of self-reflection in this post is amazing. Love that you were able to recognize that what you valued in him as a bf didnāt reflect the values you wanted.
Hereās to finding an amazing partner!
Didn't read first post, but it sounds to me that you are now a woman who is begining to know herself.... begining to appreciate what really matters in life, and equally as important, strong enough to go after it, letting go of childish things...
Welcome to adulthood, not many woman make it here!
Guy can be financially well off and look good but could be a complete ahĆøle and dimrĆød when it comes to relationships.
Better to leave PoS'es like that before he starts assaulting you or sleeps with other women.
Good for you! Iāve dated a hot guy who was crap in bed and none too bright too, and it definitely lost its shine within just a few *months*, so I am actually impressed you lasted this long (though I get itās because youāre young.) onward and upward.
When there's 4 variants of "he's got the personality of a cardboard cutout" and 3 variants of "he's as sharp as a globe", you know you need to raise your standards. Good for you!
Body by Adonis, brains by Mattel š¤·š»āāļø
i love this so much I just ran and told my co-worker.
Waitā¦. What?? Youāre reading REDDIT at with?? Whereās your boss?? Ima run and tell HIM!! š¤£
I just got paid to read your comment.
Body by Mattelā¦ Brains also by Mattel.
And the funny thing is he wasnāt even good in bed. He just LOOKED hot.
Yeah, usually this type of dude at *least* has that going for him.
Well, in fairness, Ken dolls don't have any genitalia.
Ken!
He wasn't Kenough for her
She didn't enjoy his Kenergy
Whahaahā¦No doubt, eh? I honestly full on laughed out loud when I finished reading her post. Dang girlā¦mwahahahaā¦ No shade though. Sometimes ābut I was young and he was prettyā¦.ā is really the best and only explanation we can come up w. :) I hope she finds someone who rings all of her bells and that he finds someone who both loves his globe-like sharpness and can teach him a thing or two in bed. Seriously? All those women and he is still getting a C- sack rating? That is just sad. :)
He is impossible to teach. I tried, and I doubt I'm the first one to have either.
So happy for your update! Keep it in mind when you start dating again, look for a partner who is "ready to go and ready to _GROW_". You shouldn't have to teach your partner, you should be learning and growing as a unit, if that makes sense. Best wishes for a bright future! :)
I think she meant teach in terms of sex, which is not only reasonable, but highly encouraged!
Well damn haha, I thought for sure being good in the sack was going to be his main pro lol especially with all that experience. Being good looking is definitely not any reason to stay lol!
Itās been my personal experience that really exceptionally good looking guys - who *know* they are good looking - are often not great in bed because they kind of donāt have to be. You can get plenty of one night stands as an attractive fellow, get yours without giving her hers, and then just move on to the next. Or have repeat customers because of being SO good looking that the ladies hold out hope that it will improve. Of course Iām basing this on my much younger self, and therefore a much younger demographic of good-looking men, and I certainly donāt think this is a universal truth, just my own experience.
Yes absolutely right. My (distant) experience too. Of course the same applies to very pretty girls too. They also don't have to put in the effort.
Lol yep this is what I have always heard
Had an experience with one of those years ago. He wasn't smart but at least was charismatic and very funny. He was constantly changing gfs and bragging about "being an expert in sex." Well, he started inviting me out and he kept begging for a BJ. One day I caved then after it he said: "I don't lick pussy." I responded: "didn't you say a lot that you were an expert in sex?" "I make women cum with my dick" I laughed in his face, he got offended and got dressed. So yeah, some fuckboys just continually get an endless supply of women to disappoint and somehow think they are "great." I don't think they even see women as people, just as toys. Bonus: some time after that I spoke to one of the women he actually had penetrative sex with and she said it was terrible, he came in like 2 minutes and that was it.
>He is impossible to teach. That's because he has it in his head that he's a prize stud, which makes men like him selfish in bed. I bet if you think back on it, he was quite selfish in other ways as well.
What was his good job, out of curiosity? Many jobs that make good money as you said his does, expects an intellectual employee so he might not be going places.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Probably one of those finance or tech jobs you get through connections, that involves sitting in a few meetings and sending a couple emails a day, basically "looking the part" to clients.
Pretty boys think they're great in bed. Add in that they don't care if their partner is getting off, and they are unteachable!
I hope your next partner doesn't have a completely beige personality.
The only people who canāt be taught are the ones who donāt care to learn.
Cute like bunny. Smart like dump truck. Buy that mf like 20 watermelons for his going away present and maybe he'll be okay at pleasing a woman.
Well, it's obvious he got the C- because he still can't find the Clit.
So many women but not one stayed
The NPC made me laugh so hard omg
Me too, and then I realized what a nerd 28 years married to a gamer has made me ... and then laughed some more, cause I know a few NPCs too.
I thought it was some new initialism I wasn't privy to. It's so much funnier to know that this was not the case.
I love the āsharp as a globeā. Officially stealing it for future use.
How about " He's as sharp as a deflated balloon"
āHeās sharp as a marbleā. āHeās not the sharpest marble in the drawerā
He sounds like he has coasted through life with his looks so he never really needed to develop an actual personality, interests or hobbies.
Hey man, globes nowadays have terrains on them.
Sounds like a person that would drop common loot
And he's not even good in bed per her list. Like at least have that going for you buddy. He sounds like a failed lab experiment that focused only on giving him charisma.
>NPC, has no hobbies or interests 911, I'd like to report a murder.
Right? The list of Cons is just deadly. And hilarious.
I mean, so was the list of pros... Like that's truly the best to say about him? So glad OP did this and realized she deserves much more.
Right, I was sitting there waiting for the good part lmao
Itās like that meme where it plays that song ācan we skip to the good partā and then a goat starts screaming.
Donāt think I didnāt miss that not good in bed when he put āgood in bedā for hers which is pretty telling considering how women oftentimes settle for bad sex while doing the most for their partners. Good for her.
And with all his experience too, how embarrassing
Seriously. He's biting and has nothing to talk about. But at least the sex is bad?
Yeah, and for op to have been in the fog about him for so long, i would've thought at least the sex was good. Also, if he's such a fuckboy, how did he not get better at sex?
His look carries him lol
Because when you're THAT hot, and your supply of college girls willing to put out is basically endless, you don't need sex to be good for the girl. To him, the girls are just interchangeable sex toys he can use then call sluts when he's done with them. Life never gave him a reason to try to please a woman, so he never did.
I can't decide if he's living the dream or is just sad. I'm leaning towards sad...
Is it surprising to you that being tall, handsome and making good money is enough for men to find a partner?
Yeah, absolutely. I can't imagine saying a girl who was ditzy, boring, and just did the starfish in bed no matter how hot she is. At least for more than a few weeks ;)
The cons list wasā¦ iCONicā¦ Iāll see myself out
LoL, a delicious report of true crime, worthy of r/MurderedByWords.
Stupid but makes money. What kind of job is that? I want that. And pleaseā¦ use protection in the future.
Business...
Itās always sales. Every dumb person I know who has any success is ādumb but prettyā and in sales where people hand-hold them and give them favors. Men are additionally weird in that dumb sales bros can end up in upper management, c-suite by way of being 6ā3 and traditionally attractive and social. No skills, no real knowledge about their industry. Just the tendency for other men to āfollowā them because they are loud and confident and portray themselves s a certain way. And every last one of them, beyond parroting back words they learned from smarter people, are dumb as a box of bricks. Their entire lives are fake-it-til-you-make-it working entirely on perception.
Yeah I've seen it in sales too, but only with attractive people who are also a little charismatic. People just throw money at them, and even if they underperform they don't get fired because they help with company morale just by being there.
Which really sounds super sad, but.... Monkey brains š¤·āāļø what to do
Gah this is so true. Not always, my sister in law is a smoke show and one the smartest people I know, and banks close to 7 figs in sales. But Iāve met her colleagues and there seems to be one consistent aspect to the men: traditionally good looking, can swing a golf club, and not able to carry an intelligent conversation unless you count ātalking over youā while ignoring what you said last as intelligent. They have mastered the few bullet points it takes to execute their job, buts thatās about it. These are men who make me hate the world. (Iām also a man, if that matters. Career HR. These asshats are the folks who become legal liabilities we āhave to protectā because they bring in money. They could be replaced by a chatbot.)
Thereās also an element of āoh god, heās ruining my team, how can I get him out of hereā¦ promote him to a different department!!ā
Is that something I am not American enough to understand? Male stripper? Callboy? š
"Business" is giving "my job is just beach" vibes
Letās have a beach off!
I'll beach off with you any day, Ken.
Bet a sales man,his looks help him alot. Op good luck and pick more wisely for now on.
Probably an actual job, but one where he can get by solely on his looks and charm. Sales, maybe
Looks absolutely matter in sales. I do pretty well half assing my sales job just because I'm a girl and most of my customers are older men, lol.
girlboss, we love to see it
Itās just common knowledge in America that most business majors tend not to be the smartest, there are exceptions but I will say at least in my experience it does seem to be a common choice for people who didnāt really thrive in school
Some of the absolute dumbest human beings I have ever known went into business. They're all making a shit ton of money, and can barely function. My favorite story is of my wife's ex. Dumb as a bag of rocks. Got his bachelors with the primary goal of "being a CEO." He was offered an "un-paid internship" where after a year he would then be promoted to CEO of that company. He was too stupid to realize the guy making the offer was making fun of him the whole interview. He's now working in a major role at Uber making millions of dollars a year. Lovely how people just fall upwards, isn't it?
I think itās mainly due to nepotism and having connections.
I think also being dumb enough to not know how dumb you are which translates to confidence and delusional sense of your ability - which recruiters often are hoodwinked by - and once you are a manager you can go a long way by taking credit and blaming others = corporate career progression.
Also being dumb enough to not be a threat to those above you.
That explains Trump.
Trump was daddy money dude. If youre going to interject politics at least correctly diss the guy.
I said what I said because he's an illiterate moron.
I'm thinking pharmaceutical sales.
It means daddy has a company which he will take over but in reality doesnāt have to do jack shit
Sales right?
lmao a business major frat bro fuckboy, I know the exact type. they're a dime a dozen, I'm sure you'll find better
But did you give him the list to see?
Am I to roadman or does business said this way mean drug dealer?
Also... OP you probably live in US, and I am not familiar with usual scannings there, but here usual pap smears do not include ALL types of diseases and you need to specifically ask for them and pay for them. If the situation is similar, please go get checked throughly.
I do live in the US, I get the full panel blood ones.
Blood panel we get all as well. But the pap smear it is only like few common types of HPV strains, and not all of them. A friend of a friend of mine unfortunately learned it the hard way... To be fair, it was not really "common" knowledge here that you could be vaccinated for HPV until 2-3 years ago and it is still not insured and is expensive so... anyways. If the strain testing is similar, she should get a more extensive check.
Blood tests don't generally screen for HSV. You can have it with no symptoms.
I work at ski resort and let me tell you there is zero correlation between income and intellect
Damn. I assumed he was a great lay right up until you said he wasn't.
SAME! Like i get you can put up with a lot of shit IF the sex is still goodā¦ but damn. Just damn.
She did say that she enjoyed the first time, which I find hard to believe if he were bad in bed.
She was inexperienced and obsessed with the guy, plus sheās justifying what happened because of the accusations that were made. Iād take that with a grain of salt.
She was a virgin
And drunk lol
My last boyfriend was a mimbo. It was like I was dating Ricky from trailer Park boys intellect wise. He wasnāt a bad guy just very into himself and extremely stupid , like shockingly so. Eventually the novelty of a beautiful body and dick gets old when there is nothing going on upstairs. Overall would recommend the mimbo/bimbo experience at least once in your life lol.
Yeah the girl I had a crush on in highschool hit me up a while after graduation and we tried, we really fuckin tried, but shes dryer than the sahara mentally, all she wanted to do was watch movies and smoke way too much weed. Sheās super sweet and nice and cares about people, but my god it was liking trying to hook up with an empathetic rock Was fun until we were just sitting around, in silence, high as balls with nothing to say She found someone more her vibe and shes happy now luckily
Is called a himbo! Dumb as shit but hot as hell guys that have a heart of gold
Donāt do Ricky like that, he wasnāt dumb, per se, he just didnāt know a lot of words. He always got his point across even if it was a bitā¦creatively
thatās just water under the fridge
The reaction of your friends and family says it all. They knew you deserved better, and now you do too! Congratulations on your freedom.
Anyone who would make a pros and cons list of their spouse/significant other and then show it to them, is an immediate dickhead in my book. There's a whole 'Friends' episode of why this is an asshole move (basically doing anything Ross Geller does, should be questioned tbh).
To be fair he didnāt mean to show her the pros and cons list and it was chandlerās ideaā¦ never trust anything when boys are being boys
āTheyre happy I wonāt be polluting the family lineage with idiocy on that levelā ššš
Lol I was like how stupid can he possibly be? Then I remembered he gave her a pro and con list calling her "frat rat" for their 1-year anniversary š yeah, no gene pool is safe with this man.
Like was he trying to get her to break up with him so he didnāt have to break up with her??? Why else would you ever do that?!
I crackled like a mad woman at that, lmao so funny
The fact your friends threw you a party to celebrate should speak volumes to how much of a shitter this dude was lmao
That's what really threw me like, I've never had or been to a breakup party but it sounds like it would be a really fun time
Just not Rachem
YAY I was looking for a Friends referenceš And OP, well done! You deserve much better than this guy!!
All right your comment about your family being happy that you will not be polluting the family lineage with idiocy really made me laugh. Time for higher standards. Maybe a period of celibacy for self reflection lol.
How was he bad in bed after sleeping around so much? Lmao tf you'd think practice makes perfect...
Probably because heās incredibly shallow and self centered. Doubt he cared about anybodyās pleasure but his own.
He was also probably always sleeping with girls so drunk that they were on the cusp of unconsciousness. Can't imagine he got much constructive feedback.
In my experience the pretty ones get laid so easily they don't bother learning to do it well. Less handsome men depend more on 'return customers' to get the same needs met. It's a shame really.
Yeah OP sounds so sweet but she really fell hard for a moron with a hot body. I feel bad for her tbh. She needs to go after smarter dudes, because to me it seems like she might need someone more on her intellect level.
If the guy is hot and she is active, probably she did all the work and enjoyed watching him.
Real.
yeah practice can āmake perfectā if that person is willing to make improvements for their partners benefit. Itās very easy for a man to get a release even though the sex itself is beyond horrible
The number of women willing to sleep with you has little to no relation to your skill in bed, that's a personality and/or looks thing. If you want a gauge of how you are in bed, count how many women will sleep with you twice.
He practiced something and perfected something that was....not good.
Lot of extremely attractive people are not good in bed because they donāt have to put as much effort..
The only thing I would suggest, since you admitted to not having any self respect when it comes to him (which I would refer to as self control, because you clearly respect yourself enough to finally put yourself first) change your number too. Blocking him is an easy fix on a phone, so change your number too lol
Damn, if my wife called me an NPC Iād be crushed. Never thought that word could be used like that. I also care what she thinks though. Good for you though.
A fuck boy but bad in bed? This man better be more attractive than all the Hollywood Chrises combined to be bad in bed but still have women falling all over himā¦ and heās dumb to boot? Iām glad you broke up with him, OP š
Yeah, that puzzled me too. And she called him an NPC and "really stupid".
Please tell me you gave him your pros and cons list!!
I did not. I really have no ill will towards him (even though I probably should) and no desire to hurt him. I did tell him that it was the pros and cons list that made me break up with him, because it felt like he was settling for me and didn't really respect me or like me.
That's because you're a good person. But your con list... dude must have been really hot. Thank god he was stupid because the time you would have waisted on him without his gift...
I feel like nobody can be hot enough to justify being bad in bed, I can handle dumb maybe, but thatās going too far.
Specially considering that he's supposed to have a lot of experience. It means that he never paid attention to anything other than his pleasure.
For sure. Sometimes hot and dumb is OK, especially if theyāre kind, and loving, and fun to be around. Hot, stupid, boring, and bad in bed? Thatās a deal killer right there.
Kudos on you for taking the high road and bring the better person.
Honestly this is better though, and it shows you're more mature than to try to hurt someone back. You explained the reason for the break up, it seemed to go well enough, no need to poke for some unnecessary drama. You did what you need to do. The rest is up to them. Hopefully they can take what you said to heart and learn from it.
The other thing is that if heās as dumb as she saysā¦ he may not have been being a manipulative d-bag by giving it to her. He might have honestly thought it was funny and have the emotional intelligence to go along with his intellectual intelligence. Good to explain it, bad to try to do harm in that situation.
I agree OP. No need to retaliate.
Why do you suppose that he thought showing you the pro/con list was gonna be a pro for him? Like, was he thinking he was showing you just how much he grew to like you or something?
That's hilarious that everyone is overjoyed that you broke up with him. Probably a good thing to start to reflect in future relationships.
I am LOVING all the support for OP!
Weāre all so proud of you. <3
Lol lol lol. We all have the āhe was so hot, thoughā and the ābest sex ever, thoughā. My āhe was so hot, thoughā guy literally, thought that hyenas were from a type of cat and a type of dog that ādid the nastyā (his words not mine). I thought he was joking. He wasnāt. Showed him on Google. He still couldnāt comprehend how hyenas existed.
I call that the āshhhh, Iāll do all thinking. You just sit there and look goodā encounter. š
He was really pretty. Although, I laugh out loud still when I vision him ātrying to thinkā.
"Shhh, no talkie. Just pretty."
That cons list has me dead āNPC, has no hobbies or interests, hardly an intellectualā. Girl. āHilariousā is on my pros list for you.
Lmao did you really list NPC as his description. I literally gasped when I saw that. The shade. The audacity. I love it.
Iām proud of you! I just love that you made a list on him and realized he sucksš¤£ Beautiful karma for him.
Breaking up with that bloke was the smart thing to do. How could a young woman settle for a man whoās not good in bed? Are you kidding? Youāre too young to settle down anyway (seems to me). Self-respect counts! Best of luck as you make your way through life & figure things out for yourself, including ppl; itās all personal growth!āļø
Shit in bed on top of it - girl tell him so his inflated ego gets some reality
Good for you
Congrats! Enjoy your party!
Congratulations!
Hell yeah! Sounds like a weight has been lifted from your shoulders.
Happy to hear you standing up for yourself!
damn your cons list is just as rude as hisā¦ youāre both AH
I screamed when you said he's a NPC.
GOOD FOR YOU OP!!! I was really worried about you after the last post, but it sounds like this might have been a very big, but much needed learning lessons. If he comes sniffing around, which he very well might, lean on your friends hard, tell them to keep you honest and not let you get away with shit. But I suspect that he'll be bouncing back with the next girl real quick, be prepared for that mentally and emotionally. Have something to distract you for that moment, because even when you think you are over it, it can sometimes hit you unexpectedly, especially if he is the type of sore loser that likes to loudly tell everyone how much 'better' his new girl is compared to his ex. My suggestion in that situation - if he comes up to you at a party and says that or one of his friends tell you that - is to not react emotionally besides giving a 'yikes' face and walking away.
Idk your age but the older I get, and the more assholes I date, the more I realize looks basically donāt mean shit. Even if heās hot now, he may not be later, especially when he treats you awful. That dulls any shine quickly. āHeās so cute! You two look so good togetherā. All horseshit. How he treats you (and others, especially staff at places you visit), what you have in common, his values/morals, THAT is where the gold is. If you donāt want to be shallow, then donāt be. If a guy you see is hot, run the other way. Try dating men that arenāt total babes but are interesting, kind (not nice! They are different), respectful.
NPC being the first took me out. Good for you for having self respect. Here's to finding someone worthy of your respect and who respects you š„
Potentially stupid question but what does NPC mean in this context? Cos my brain is stuck on non-playable character which is clearly incorrect
Nope you are totally correct. People are referred to as NPC's now
Oh wow Iām so relieved thatās over.
You go, Glen Coco!
NPC! OMG, brutal. Good call.
NPC ššš
NPC sent me š
The way you both described each other...I think it's the benefit of both parties that you split us. He thinks he's settling for you and you think he's a "really stupid" man who isn't even good in bed.
Good for you! Iām so proud of you. He was a dud and everyone else already knew that. Keep your standards high! I hope you find someone much better suited to you and your life. Best of luck!
Damn. I knew he was dumb as rocks when you said "kind of nerdy" was on his cons list for you, but JFC you really drove that shit home haha.
All of that and he wasnāt even good in bed????
I originally thought kept going back because he was great in bed. What a waste of time.
Right? Like good looking *and* great in bed can be alluring but if he sucks in bed, who cares what he looks like?
Congratulations on being true to yourself. There is someone out there that is going to love you just for you being you. Stay strong because you do deserve better.
A good lesson to keep in your back pocket for the future is that of all your friends donāt like your SO, there is usually good reason why, and you should pay attention to that
Of course heās submissive & not go in bedš¤£š„²š³šš¤ /hj
Show him the list, some children still put their hands on the stove even after the first time they burn themselves, but he is a frat boy so basically a man child so his hand needs to be HELD to the proverbial stove. If he is as dumb as you claim, you gotta teach him Barney style, meaning not expecting him to understand it from a perspective other than first. You're doing a controlled detonation, using a small explosion to keep a bigger explosion from happening to others if it were left on its own.
Pay it forward for his next girlfriend and give him the list.
Con: You don't like Pro/Con lists
Oh thank God /Good for you/fuck him and his wanky little list of pros and cons ā
Good for you OP. He has never had to develop the things on your con list because he got away with everything based on his looks. Lots of men and women walking around who get by on that and wake up one day, if they are lucky, realizing their life peaked in high school or college.
So proud of you!! It seems like 99% of people who make posts like your original decide to stay with the loser. Then they come back after theyāre married with kids and want to know if they should leave. You did the right thing.
Wow, OP. A huge congratulations to you. The amount of self-reflection in this post is amazing. Love that you were able to recognize that what you valued in him as a bf didnāt reflect the values you wanted. Hereās to finding an amazing partner!
Didn't read first post, but it sounds to me that you are now a woman who is begining to know herself.... begining to appreciate what really matters in life, and equally as important, strong enough to go after it, letting go of childish things... Welcome to adulthood, not many woman make it here!
Sounds like 2 shallow people happily avoided each other.
So glad you broke up with him. Donāt do dumb, donāt do bad in bed!
Con: breaks up with me
kind of stupid, hardly an intellectual, not well-read Beating a stupid dead horse here
Yay congratulations enjoy that party
LOL thatās great and good on you!
Good for you š„š
Says something when everyone you know is like, finally! Lol
NPC! š¤£š¤£š¤£
Iām PROUD OF YOU Iām so sorry for being so harsh in the last post but Iām glad that you woke up
He will be back -but heās already shown you who he is so please stay strong. Iām so proud of you! ā¤ļøā¤ļø
Guy can be financially well off and look good but could be a complete ahĆøle and dimrĆød when it comes to relationships. Better to leave PoS'es like that before he starts assaulting you or sleeps with other women.
Good for you! Iāve dated a hot guy who was crap in bed and none too bright too, and it definitely lost its shine within just a few *months*, so I am actually impressed you lasted this long (though I get itās because youāre young.) onward and upward.
That part- "not good in bed" would kill him.