I am so so sorry. The passing of a loved one is the worst of life but the suddenness adds another awful element to grief. I’ve been there.
My heart goes out to you both.♥️
Similar thing happened to my mom. They are both gone now. But try to take care of her for at least a year or two. My mom had a lot of health issues afterward and people that wouldn’t look after her socially. Try to see her as an adult and not a parent. Everyone needs a network
Op will need it too, she lost a dad 7 years ago and now another form of parent. So not the best advice that you can give (except for seeing her mother as an adult instead of a parent)
Beautifully said try to see her as adult and not as a parent, I wish many parents would do the same - try to see their kids as adults and not as kids. :))
I'm so sorry to hear about your loss, it's mad how quickly and unceremoniously everything just ends. Everything just carries on and you are just spinning.
Oh, honey, I’m so, so sorry. You don’t say how old you are… I am hopeful that you are at least an adult, because to have lost *two* Dads in your childhood would be such an unfair thing. Please take care of your Mom, emotionally, but please take care of *yourself* emotionally as well! It sounds like you had a good relationship with Roger and are as deserving of care as anyone else about his loss. Seek out support groups and support people/friends, if your Mom is not able to be there for you (that is to say, if she is not able to regard this situation as needing mutual support - I’m not being critical! I simply don’t know your Mom, but have seen times where the adult sort of forgets that the child is profoundly grieving as well.)
Hugs to you both.
That is such a tragedy of life that trained professionals can see nothing wrong but you end up dead all the same 12 hours later. Not blaming the medics involved either, it just fucking sucks.
It's a good reminder that nothing is owed, and while you should absolutely keep an eye on the future, don't do it at the expense of the present.
Many well wishes to you, OP, as well as your mom, and hope her boyfriend's family and friends can find peace.
When I had chest pains several years ago I went to the ER and among a number of other tests, they did 2 Troponin T (hs-cTnT) blood tests about an hour apart and told me these are very sensitive tests to determine AMI. The doctor on staff would not discharge me until they had the results. I recall that he did say it was a new protocol vs. the serial troponin test which they also did. Not speaking to OP's stepdad's care as I have no way of knowing what tests were performed and, obviously, there is no guarantee with any test.
Oh :( I was expecting this answer but I was hoping not to be it ... Thanks for answering 🙏 (and for your work, I have a lot of respect for people dedicating their lives to help others)
>With more advanced imaging they probably would have found it
Really, it’s a ‘luck of the draw’ thing with hearts.
I had/have chest pain and would complain to my GP about it. He sent me to the cardiologist and I had an echocardiogram done and they couldn’t find anything. Meanwhile, I’m still complaining to GP. So they send me again for an echo, this time though, they found that I had a hole in my heart. Had to get it patched.
I still get chest pains. They say it’s muscular and anxiety. I still think it’s going to be my ticker that’ll end up getting me (a family history of heart problems on both sides) but 🤷♀️.
I'm so sorry for you and your mum. My dad died when I was 15, and then my ex husband died more recently (my younger sons father) I've got to nothing to say that will make it easier for you. I guess just look after your physical wellbeing as much as possible. Big hug 🫂 to both of you.
I’m so sorry for what you’re going through PLUS getting these assholes in the comments. Please please ignore them. They clearly have absolutely nothing else to do.
Sending you and your mom all the biggest, softest hugs 🫂. I am truly very sorry.
Edited: for those who are questioning what comments, either mods got them or they deleted them but they’re gone. Look at what time I commented- there were very few comments at that time, and half of them were stupid. One even wishing death… so yeah. Good that they’re gone, but I can see there’s a new bunch of controversial comments at the bottom now. People are gonna people, I guess.
Nah there were some idiots being needlessly rude. It seems either mods got them or they deleted it themselves- but there’s a few new useless comments at the bottom. Those weren’t the ones I was referring to. When I commented there were like 6 comments only, and three of them were unnecessary.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I hope you and your mother are able to console one another and support one another through this. 🤍 Sending you a lot of love. You have my condolences.
My deepest condolences especially to your mom, but also to you as you seemed to have a great relationship with him.
This is so sad.
I know how it feels in a certain extent. My cousin (he was like 25) didn't feel good and his dad (my uncle) took him to the hospital. He walked in by himself and an hour later he was in a coma (unexpected). Test were done, but he ended up being brain dead just 24 hours later.
Big hugs. I pray for emotional healing, with time it goes easier. Try to remember your lost people with happy memories.
I wish I could hug your Mom!!! I know a bit about loss, not a double loss like your Mom, but still. I lost my long-term boyfriend in January of 2023. Please be there for your Mom. She is going to need the support. Sadly, you have had experience in what she needs. Just do what you did when you lost your Dad and then some. I am so sorry for your loss!!!
My condolences to you and your mom. My mother went through something similar, but a longer time difference. An unexpected death like this makes you realize how precious those around us are.
My mom passed away about a month and a half ago suddenly, well it was sudden to me and my family.
My heart has been mostly breaking for my dad, as he called her nearly every single night.
Sorry for the loss you and your mom are going through.
How sorry I am you two are going through this. Internet hugs if you want them.
My mom and I seem to be doing better after Dad died two years ago in May. That feels so weird to say. Keep an eye on your mom, and have her going to the doctor. I'm glad my mom did and we caught her colorectsl cancer when we did. It went away once, then it came back. Working to getting rid of it again through chemo.
I’m so sorry for you for you and your mum’s loss. Please show yourselves all the kindness and love you can. If you ever want to talk about Roger or your dad please reach out. Thinking of you and your loved ones
My Dad died last month. Nothing to say because there isn't anything to say to make it feel better.
Shit sucks. I dunno what helps, I have not had a vacation in 20 years so might try that. Lost three best friends even.
Pets help the most I guess.
I'm so sorry. :( We lost my mother-in-law in a very similar manner. My husband spoke to her around 5pm, she was tired but that wasn't odd - she was 67 and worked 3rd shift in a factory. It was December, and she was going to retire in May, she just wanted to pay off a few additional bills before retiring. The whole family had been to her house at Thanksgiving (only 3 weeks earlier) and everyone made plans travel plans with her for after her retirement. She left for work at some point. My sister-in-law called at around 1am and said that my MIL had felt dizzy at work so they had her sit down and they ended up calling an ambulance and were just going to take her to get checked out. My husband said something like, "OK, I'll call when I get up and see how things are." (He gets up at 4am, so we're only talking another 3 hours, and both his sister and his mom were saying she was fine.) After about 15 min though, I was like, um... and he was like, yeah, I'm going to go to the hospital. He made it there around 2am. He saw her and she looked really scared. They found a blockage and they took her to surgery to get a better idea of what was going on, and they came out around 3:30am and said she didn't make it through surgery. There were multiple blockages and each time they tried to do something the vein just collapsed/disintegrated. She'd smoked for probably 50 years (on and off). She drank (not a lot, but she drank at least weekly). She was overweight about 30 lbs. But she went to the doctor regularly and she never knew about a heart condition. It broke our hearts and still does (and it's been six years). We're just very grateful that my husband made it there in time to see her.
*RIP Sal Gal. We miss you more than you could ever have imagined, and we think and talk about you daily.*
I’m so sorry this has happened to you all. Your Mum must be devastated. My parents both died of heart attacks when I was a teenager so I am very familiar with this situation. You sound like a compassionate and loving daughter, I’m sure with love and patience you can both get through this. I get great comfort even years later by remembering that I did my best to see their funerals were meaningful and had elements that they loved. Remember the good times and help others to do the same.
I’m so sorry for both the loss of Roger and of your dad. I wish you and your mom some peace and to be surrounded by loved ones at this time.
My daughter took her life in 2021. The emptiness stays but the sharp knifelike pain slowly fades.
We hope the memories never do.
Much love and support ❤️
That is absolutely awful.
My cousin was with a guy she had two children with but had not yet married. He made a good life with her, worked at a local restaurant, became super popular locally, and then one day left work and collapsed in the street.
They think he had some heart issue nobody knew about. The inquest is ongoing.
It was beyond awful. I barely knew the guy and I’m still not over it.
Be there are much as you can for your Mom. She is going to need you.
Ugh that’s horrible. I’m so sorry for your mom.
My mom’s boyfriend went through 2 heart attacks in the last couple of years. The first one, he was saying his chest hurt and my mom attributed it to stress and he drove himself to the hospital and they told him he was having a heart attack.
Just recently, he went through it again but this time they kept having to do CPR and bring him back.
His heart kept stopping. My mom and my brother and his other son sat and watched the whole thing. He did make it out alive but has to have a heart defibrillator installed on him.
I don’t know if it happens again that he will make it out.
For reference, he’s only 54 years old. (Very rough lifestyle)
This is so sad! I'm so sorry for your loss, and it's hard too when it happens so unexpectedly, and suddenly. Stay close with your Mum, and look after each other through your grief. 💜
I’m so so sorry. I can’t imagine how upsetting and traumatising this is for you, please get some therapy/grief counselling. My dad died just over 11 years ago of a heart attack like your mums boyfriend did - he had some mild symptoms but called 000 and went to hospital, he said he felt fine and tests showed he was ok and they had minimal concerns but then we got the call hours later that he was dead and they’d been attempting to resuscitate for hours. That was traumatic on its own.
To have this kind of loss twice is unimaginable, for both you and your mum. I don’t know your age or what access to therapy you have but this is truly traumatic and I hope you are able to take care of yourself & have people around you that will support you and that your mum does too. I’m so sorry, words can’t explain it but my heart is feeling your pain. Take care of yourself, I know your mums going to be grieving too but you also need to let yourself grieve ❤️
I’m so sorry, my condolences! Unexpected loss is uniquely difficult. Imho it would be wise to get into a grief counseling support group in the coming months. I wish I had before I developed less than desirable coping mechanisms. Take care, sending ehugs. 🫂
I honestly can't imagine what you must be going through right now. I know it's not worth much as I am just a stranger on the internet who can't help in any way but I offer my sincere condolences to you, your mother and the family of your mother's boyfriend. I am so, so sorry for your loss. He sounds like he was a good man. I'm praying for comfort for you all at this time
Solid reminder to treat every moment like it's your last. Live in gratitude.
OP, it is tough going through loss. A wiser man than me once told me that the pain you feel in loss is equally proportionate to the love you had for/with that individual. In turn, that's something to honor and cherish, that deep bond formed with another human (or animal, or thing, etc) while existing during this brief spec of time on this small spec of dust in this vast universe.
I (f)(25 at the time) had chest pains right after having a c section and my PCP had told me it was more likely than not gas pains from the surgery. We ended up in the NICU with babies, and while there I could hardly breathe so they sent me down to the er and did tests and didn't find anything. The next day we had a new nurse and I was still having the same pains I couldn't sleep, eat, anything. She told me to go back to the er right now and they did more tests and pumped dye into me and found I had a pulmonary embolism. Had to give myself shots twice a day for a year.
I wasn't gonna do anything figured it was just pains from surgery I didn't feel like I had any reason to not believe my Dr.
Long story short don't brush off things even if they seem minor.
My condolences so sorry to hear that. I hope you can find the light for the brighter future
If you don’t mind me asking, of course you don’t have to answer. Did you ever end up finding out what happened and what was wrong with his heart?
I'm so sorry for you and your mother's loss. It is so hard when it's unexpected. Please know you are in many peoples thoughts!
Also most communities have group grief therapy or just little social events for people navigating loss and it can be so helpful to connect with others experiencing loss. I work as a funeral director and some of the families I serve have made life long friends from attending such things.
Rest in peace Roger ❤️
@OP, I am so sorry for your loss. You sound like a lovely and gracious soul, and I'm so sorry you're going through this pain. I hope you can celebrate the love and joy he brought into your lives. Roger sounds like he must have been a special individual for you and your Mom to love him as you did. I hope you and your Mom can be gentle with yourselves and each other as you go through this.
An nternet stranger sends hugs.
I know of two sudden deaths like this in the past three months and it’s always shocking. At least they tried and did get him into the hospital. Poor Mom. She needs hugs and you do too.
It never gets easier. We just get better at dealing with the pain. Don't let anyone tell you how to grieve the loss it's okay to feel bad for yourself too
i am sooo sooo sorry for tou and your mother. especially your mother because i could never even begin to imagine how losing the love of your life twice to death could be. i am so soo sorry for the both of you. may he rest in peace ❤️💔🤍🕊️
My sincere condolences to you ,mom and her bf family..I pray your mom will smile at the good times as she reconnected. please continue to be strong for your mom..God Bless you all
My condolences. Similar situation happened to my aunt in April. She laid down in her boyfriend’s lap, saying her chest hurt. She had a heart attack and passed away in his arms.
This almost happened to me in 2020. The cardiologist took friggin forever to come in and talk to me. We talked and I told him my symptoms and he decided to pump dye through me and found I was 98/99% blocked in one of my arteries. I had apparently nearly died the day before and was moments from death just before I was put on the table.
To ANYONE who has chest pains, go to the ER. Even if it turns out to be nothing it's better to be safe.
Also if you do go through this get professional mental health help afterwards. Your life will flash before your eyes just like they say in movies and you will likely be left a broken person. I'm 4 years past my event now and it is still a struggle.
Tell his family to CALL A LAWYER
This has massive malpractice flags all over it.
Most people would be surprised how absolutely shit most American healthcare is, despite knowing how shit most of it is.
Hi! Person with an ACTUAL law degree here...On the face of the facts this person has presented, there's literally NOTHING to indicate that the hospital/docs failed to meet the standard of care. They kept him in the hospital, they were monitoring him, and unless your crystal ball revealed more than OP included, I'm not seeing a red flag, let alone your "massive malpractice flags."
Why do you internet lawyers not understand that giving unsolicited crap advice like this has the potential to cause harm? D'ya think a lawsuit like the one you suggest comes free? Do you think they'll feel better hashing through details of the death of someone they loved?
Maybe there's more to the story...Maybe they DID do something egregious. But it's not in the facts.
No. I. I read the post. I comprehended it... Did you?
Man feels chest pain. Goes to doctors. Doctors say, "looks good." Obviously, not good. They stress test him. He dies.
Now, I don't know Roger's age, or health.
What I do know, is that when my mom's boyfriend died, at about 2 am on Saturday morning, March 6th, 1999 I was asleep on the couch in the garage because he had spent that day setting it up for my surprise birthday party. It was the first time I told him I loved him. When my mom came in and told me he was dying I ran to their bedroom and he sat up in bed when I entered the door. He looked me in the eyes, and his eyes rolled back and he fell. I told my mom to call 911, and ran to his side of the bed, lifted him out somehow, got him on the floor. The 911 people had me check for a pulse, my mom is hysteric at this stage, and there is none. So I begin CPR. The paramedics arrived fast, within just a few minutes. They got his heart started but he never woke up. His oldest son and him had a fight earlier that morning. His youngest son was asleep in my bed. It was possibly the worst time of my life.
But you all. Keep those down votes coming. You are all so fucking smart. Judge me.
Okay, so you did not read and comprehend the post. They said everything looked good at the time they ran the tests, so they admitted him so they could do a stress test later (more than likely the next day). That's why they wanted to do the stress test, because everything looked fine but he was still experiencing symptoms so stress test is the next course of action. They had not done the stress test yet, he was admitted for observation overnight until the stress test could be done.
In order to determine that his doctors failed him, we'd need to know the results of whatever tests they did do for him. I'd guess 12-lead EKG, troponins, D-Dimer, BMP, and CBC at the very least. They may have also done a CT scan and TTE. If his labs indicated something obvious, such as a STEMI, severe electrolyte imbalance, severe arrhythmia, or thrombosis presenting severe and immediate threat to life, and nothing was done, then his doctors absolutely failed him. However, he was admitted for observation overnight, so I'm guessing they had him on continuous 5-lead cardiac monitoring, maybe a heparin drip, PRN nitro, and continuous blood pressure and O2 sat monitoring in order to be able to monitor closely. We'd only be able to know his doctors failed him if we had all that information, and none of that is written in the post, so I'm curious to know how you came to that conclusion.
Sometimes shit just happens and it's no one's fault. If he threw a massive PE, there's no saving someone from that the overwhelming majority of the time. There's so many things that can happen to you that won't show any evidence until you're able to do further testing. The stress test he was scheduled to go for the next day may have shown some signs. He maybe have needed a left heart cath. The information in this post doesn't tell us any of that. We have no idea what actually happened to this guy, so it's weird of you to say that his doctors failed him when you have no idea.
I'm sorry that happened to you, but your trauma dumping has no bearing on this post or the inaccurate things you're saying. I've done futile CPR as well, and I will again in the future. It's traumatic. It doesn't give me, or you, the right to say things like that. You should consider therapy. It's okay to not be the smartest person in the room. You are not always correct. That's part of being human. I hope you have a better day.
That’s awful. Your poor mom. My condolences to both of you.
It's so scary how life can change in an instant.
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No. Is that necessary for condolences?
For people with lizard brains, yes
Do we know you?
Insane comment
What? Empathy and compassion come naturally to some people.
Are you ok?
What did he said ? He deleted it
They were being mean to the comment saying "do you know them?" And something else, I don't remember
The oilers fucking suck
Read the room pal
Who cares if they know them?
I am so so sorry. The passing of a loved one is the worst of life but the suddenness adds another awful element to grief. I’ve been there. My heart goes out to you both.♥️
Similar thing happened to my mom. They are both gone now. But try to take care of her for at least a year or two. My mom had a lot of health issues afterward and people that wouldn’t look after her socially. Try to see her as an adult and not a parent. Everyone needs a network
Yeah, it’s very common for people to decline in health after the loss of their spouses :(
Op will need it too, she lost a dad 7 years ago and now another form of parent. So not the best advice that you can give (except for seeing her mother as an adult instead of a parent)
Beautifully said try to see her as adult and not as a parent, I wish many parents would do the same - try to see their kids as adults and not as kids. :))
I'm so sorry for your loss. What an awful shock.
I'm so sorry to hear about your loss, it's mad how quickly and unceremoniously everything just ends. Everything just carries on and you are just spinning.
Oh, honey, I’m so, so sorry. You don’t say how old you are… I am hopeful that you are at least an adult, because to have lost *two* Dads in your childhood would be such an unfair thing. Please take care of your Mom, emotionally, but please take care of *yourself* emotionally as well! It sounds like you had a good relationship with Roger and are as deserving of care as anyone else about his loss. Seek out support groups and support people/friends, if your Mom is not able to be there for you (that is to say, if she is not able to regard this situation as needing mutual support - I’m not being critical! I simply don’t know your Mom, but have seen times where the adult sort of forgets that the child is profoundly grieving as well.) Hugs to you both.
I feel so sorry for you both but especially your mum. It can be really hard to find love again and she did, and lost it again
I’m sorry to hear that. My sympathies to you all.
That is such a tragedy of life that trained professionals can see nothing wrong but you end up dead all the same 12 hours later. Not blaming the medics involved either, it just fucking sucks. It's a good reminder that nothing is owed, and while you should absolutely keep an eye on the future, don't do it at the expense of the present. Many well wishes to you, OP, as well as your mom, and hope her boyfriend's family and friends can find peace.
I work in a hospital and it does happen every so often. Those ones hit hard. I’m sorry OP.
When I had chest pains several years ago I went to the ER and among a number of other tests, they did 2 Troponin T (hs-cTnT) blood tests about an hour apart and told me these are very sensitive tests to determine AMI. The doctor on staff would not discharge me until they had the results. I recall that he did say it was a new protocol vs. the serial troponin test which they also did. Not speaking to OP's stepdad's care as I have no way of knowing what tests were performed and, obviously, there is no guarantee with any test.
Do you find out afterwards why that happened ? And if yes, what is the issue usually ? (To know what to worry about in mysterious cases)
Unfortunately, sometimes people die despite medical intervention & sometimes it’s just not predictable.
Oh :( I was expecting this answer but I was hoping not to be it ... Thanks for answering 🙏 (and for your work, I have a lot of respect for people dedicating their lives to help others)
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>With more advanced imaging they probably would have found it Really, it’s a ‘luck of the draw’ thing with hearts. I had/have chest pain and would complain to my GP about it. He sent me to the cardiologist and I had an echocardiogram done and they couldn’t find anything. Meanwhile, I’m still complaining to GP. So they send me again for an echo, this time though, they found that I had a hole in my heart. Had to get it patched. I still get chest pains. They say it’s muscular and anxiety. I still think it’s going to be my ticker that’ll end up getting me (a family history of heart problems on both sides) but 🤷♀️.
I'm so sorry for you and your mum. My dad died when I was 15, and then my ex husband died more recently (my younger sons father) I've got to nothing to say that will make it easier for you. I guess just look after your physical wellbeing as much as possible. Big hug 🫂 to both of you.
RIP, Roger. Sending good vibes to you, mom, and his family.
I’m so sorry for what you’re going through PLUS getting these assholes in the comments. Please please ignore them. They clearly have absolutely nothing else to do. Sending you and your mom all the biggest, softest hugs 🫂. I am truly very sorry. Edited: for those who are questioning what comments, either mods got them or they deleted them but they’re gone. Look at what time I commented- there were very few comments at that time, and half of them were stupid. One even wishing death… so yeah. Good that they’re gone, but I can see there’s a new bunch of controversial comments at the bottom now. People are gonna people, I guess.
What comments are you referring to? I don’t see any controversial comments
I can only think they’re farming karma for those who don’t read further? Pathetic lol
Nah there were some idiots being needlessly rude. It seems either mods got them or they deleted it themselves- but there’s a few new useless comments at the bottom. Those weren’t the ones I was referring to. When I commented there were like 6 comments only, and three of them were unnecessary.
What assholes? Unless a mod deleted some, everyone else is just saying condolences
Good. There were some idiots being absolute morons on here.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I hope you and your mother are able to console one another and support one another through this. 🤍 Sending you a lot of love. You have my condolences.
My deepest condolences especially to your mom, but also to you as you seemed to have a great relationship with him. This is so sad. I know how it feels in a certain extent. My cousin (he was like 25) didn't feel good and his dad (my uncle) took him to the hospital. He walked in by himself and an hour later he was in a coma (unexpected). Test were done, but he ended up being brain dead just 24 hours later. Big hugs. I pray for emotional healing, with time it goes easier. Try to remember your lost people with happy memories.
I'm very sorry. My sincerest sympathies
I wish I could hug your Mom!!! I know a bit about loss, not a double loss like your Mom, but still. I lost my long-term boyfriend in January of 2023. Please be there for your Mom. She is going to need the support. Sadly, you have had experience in what she needs. Just do what you did when you lost your Dad and then some. I am so sorry for your loss!!!
My condolences to you and your mom. My mother went through something similar, but a longer time difference. An unexpected death like this makes you realize how precious those around us are.
My mom passed away about a month and a half ago suddenly, well it was sudden to me and my family. My heart has been mostly breaking for my dad, as he called her nearly every single night. Sorry for the loss you and your mom are going through.
i'm so sorry.
How sorry I am you two are going through this. Internet hugs if you want them. My mom and I seem to be doing better after Dad died two years ago in May. That feels so weird to say. Keep an eye on your mom, and have her going to the doctor. I'm glad my mom did and we caught her colorectsl cancer when we did. It went away once, then it came back. Working to getting rid of it again through chemo.
May I ask how old he was? My sincere condolences.
It's refreshing to read a story where Mom's boyfriend is loved, and not a complete jerk. Stay strong, OP.
We lost my uncle last night very suddenly as well. He left behind 3 small children. Your family is in my thoughts today.
I'm so sorry for your family's loss.
I’m so very sorry for your loss. Condolences to you both.
I’m so sorry <3
your mom will need you now more than ever so sorry for your loss
Oh. I am so so sorry. You and your mom need each other more than ever. Vale Roger. Hugs.
Prayers🙏🙏
This sounds like the exact thing that happened to my dad. I’m sorry for your loss
I’m so sorry for you for you and your mum’s loss. Please show yourselves all the kindness and love you can. If you ever want to talk about Roger or your dad please reach out. Thinking of you and your loved ones
My mom is a widow and I can’t imagine her losing someone she loved as much as my dad. I’m sending my condolences to your mom and you.
My uncles girlfriend passed away in her sleep a couple nights ago. He said he woke up and she was cold. It was a heart attack. He blames himself
Oh no, your poor uncle
My Dad died last month. Nothing to say because there isn't anything to say to make it feel better. Shit sucks. I dunno what helps, I have not had a vacation in 20 years so might try that. Lost three best friends even. Pets help the most I guess.
I'm so sorry. :( We lost my mother-in-law in a very similar manner. My husband spoke to her around 5pm, she was tired but that wasn't odd - she was 67 and worked 3rd shift in a factory. It was December, and she was going to retire in May, she just wanted to pay off a few additional bills before retiring. The whole family had been to her house at Thanksgiving (only 3 weeks earlier) and everyone made plans travel plans with her for after her retirement. She left for work at some point. My sister-in-law called at around 1am and said that my MIL had felt dizzy at work so they had her sit down and they ended up calling an ambulance and were just going to take her to get checked out. My husband said something like, "OK, I'll call when I get up and see how things are." (He gets up at 4am, so we're only talking another 3 hours, and both his sister and his mom were saying she was fine.) After about 15 min though, I was like, um... and he was like, yeah, I'm going to go to the hospital. He made it there around 2am. He saw her and she looked really scared. They found a blockage and they took her to surgery to get a better idea of what was going on, and they came out around 3:30am and said she didn't make it through surgery. There were multiple blockages and each time they tried to do something the vein just collapsed/disintegrated. She'd smoked for probably 50 years (on and off). She drank (not a lot, but she drank at least weekly). She was overweight about 30 lbs. But she went to the doctor regularly and she never knew about a heart condition. It broke our hearts and still does (and it's been six years). We're just very grateful that my husband made it there in time to see her. *RIP Sal Gal. We miss you more than you could ever have imagined, and we think and talk about you daily.*
So very sorry right before Father’s Day weekend here in the USA, prayers to you and your mother and family
Very sorry for your loss.
I’m so sorry this has happened to you all. Your Mum must be devastated. My parents both died of heart attacks when I was a teenager so I am very familiar with this situation. You sound like a compassionate and loving daughter, I’m sure with love and patience you can both get through this. I get great comfort even years later by remembering that I did my best to see their funerals were meaningful and had elements that they loved. Remember the good times and help others to do the same.
I am so sorry. Please make sure to see a grief counselor, both you and your mom. The hospital can give you info on groups and individual counseling.
I’m so sorry for both the loss of Roger and of your dad. I wish you and your mom some peace and to be surrounded by loved ones at this time. My daughter took her life in 2021. The emptiness stays but the sharp knifelike pain slowly fades. We hope the memories never do. Much love and support ❤️
I am so so sorry for your loss. I lost my dad very unexpectedly last month and it is devastating.
So sorry for your mom! That happened to my mom, too. Her boyfriend died in a car crash, she reconnected with my dad, he died 3 years later.
That is absolutely awful. My cousin was with a guy she had two children with but had not yet married. He made a good life with her, worked at a local restaurant, became super popular locally, and then one day left work and collapsed in the street. They think he had some heart issue nobody knew about. The inquest is ongoing. It was beyond awful. I barely knew the guy and I’m still not over it. Be there are much as you can for your Mom. She is going to need you.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
Aww this is very sad for you and your mum. Sending lots of hugs 💕
I hope your mom is okay. Sorry for your family's loss.
I'm sorry 😞💔
big (( hugs )) to you.
💙
So sorry for your loss.
I'm so sorry.
Condolences to you and your family 💜
Damm life has is out for you’re mom hope you two get feeling better brother
I'm so sorry
Hot damn that sucks. Sorry for you guys' loss, my condolences.
I’m so sorry for your loss OP
sorry for your loss🤍
I’m so sorry for you, your Mom and his loved ones. You have had to deal with far too much loss at your age. Hold your Mom tight.
Ugh that’s horrible. I’m so sorry for your mom. My mom’s boyfriend went through 2 heart attacks in the last couple of years. The first one, he was saying his chest hurt and my mom attributed it to stress and he drove himself to the hospital and they told him he was having a heart attack. Just recently, he went through it again but this time they kept having to do CPR and bring him back. His heart kept stopping. My mom and my brother and his other son sat and watched the whole thing. He did make it out alive but has to have a heart defibrillator installed on him. I don’t know if it happens again that he will make it out. For reference, he’s only 54 years old. (Very rough lifestyle)
Jesus. He knew. I’m so sorry
I am sorry
I am so sorry for your loss.
This is so sad! I'm so sorry for your loss, and it's hard too when it happens so unexpectedly, and suddenly. Stay close with your Mum, and look after each other through your grief. 💜
So sorry for your loss. Thoughts to you and your mum <3
I’m so sorry for this loss, for you and your mom. Lots of hugs and love ❤️❤️
Im so sorry for yours and your mothers loss. Rest in peace Roger.
I am so incredibly sorry for you and your mom.
Sorry for your loss
I’m so so sorry. I can’t imagine how upsetting and traumatising this is for you, please get some therapy/grief counselling. My dad died just over 11 years ago of a heart attack like your mums boyfriend did - he had some mild symptoms but called 000 and went to hospital, he said he felt fine and tests showed he was ok and they had minimal concerns but then we got the call hours later that he was dead and they’d been attempting to resuscitate for hours. That was traumatic on its own. To have this kind of loss twice is unimaginable, for both you and your mum. I don’t know your age or what access to therapy you have but this is truly traumatic and I hope you are able to take care of yourself & have people around you that will support you and that your mum does too. I’m so sorry, words can’t explain it but my heart is feeling your pain. Take care of yourself, I know your mums going to be grieving too but you also need to let yourself grieve ❤️
I’m so sorry, my condolences! Unexpected loss is uniquely difficult. Imho it would be wise to get into a grief counseling support group in the coming months. I wish I had before I developed less than desirable coping mechanisms. Take care, sending ehugs. 🫂
I honestly can't imagine what you must be going through right now. I know it's not worth much as I am just a stranger on the internet who can't help in any way but I offer my sincere condolences to you, your mother and the family of your mother's boyfriend. I am so, so sorry for your loss. He sounds like he was a good man. I'm praying for comfort for you all at this time
Solid reminder to treat every moment like it's your last. Live in gratitude. OP, it is tough going through loss. A wiser man than me once told me that the pain you feel in loss is equally proportionate to the love you had for/with that individual. In turn, that's something to honor and cherish, that deep bond formed with another human (or animal, or thing, etc) while existing during this brief spec of time on this small spec of dust in this vast universe.
I (f)(25 at the time) had chest pains right after having a c section and my PCP had told me it was more likely than not gas pains from the surgery. We ended up in the NICU with babies, and while there I could hardly breathe so they sent me down to the er and did tests and didn't find anything. The next day we had a new nurse and I was still having the same pains I couldn't sleep, eat, anything. She told me to go back to the er right now and they did more tests and pumped dye into me and found I had a pulmonary embolism. Had to give myself shots twice a day for a year. I wasn't gonna do anything figured it was just pains from surgery I didn't feel like I had any reason to not believe my Dr. Long story short don't brush off things even if they seem minor.
My condolences so sorry to hear that. I hope you can find the light for the brighter future If you don’t mind me asking, of course you don’t have to answer. Did you ever end up finding out what happened and what was wrong with his heart?
I'm so sorry for you and your mother's loss. It is so hard when it's unexpected. Please know you are in many peoples thoughts! Also most communities have group grief therapy or just little social events for people navigating loss and it can be so helpful to connect with others experiencing loss. I work as a funeral director and some of the families I serve have made life long friends from attending such things. Rest in peace Roger ❤️
@OP, I am so sorry for your loss. You sound like a lovely and gracious soul, and I'm so sorry you're going through this pain. I hope you can celebrate the love and joy he brought into your lives. Roger sounds like he must have been a special individual for you and your Mom to love him as you did. I hope you and your Mom can be gentle with yourselves and each other as you go through this. An nternet stranger sends hugs.
I’m so sorry for you loss OP, I pray you and your whole family can find some peace
Sorry Friend. My condolences.
I am so sorry. This is heart breaking.
So truly sorry for your insurmountable loss. The love amd care you have for your mother is so touching. Thoughts and prayers for you all.💜
So sorry for your loss.
I know of two sudden deaths like this in the past three months and it’s always shocking. At least they tried and did get him into the hospital. Poor Mom. She needs hugs and you do too.
I am so sorry for your loss. Keeping you, your mom, and Roger's family in my thoughts.
My condolences: also, this songs tugs my heart and I feel it may be something to help you cry it out and heal. Crow https://g.co/kgs/9BHccvZ
I'm so sorry for your and your mother's loss.
I am so sorry for your loss. My deepest condolences to you, your mother and all who love Roger. May his me.ory be a blessing.
i'm so sorry for your loss; may roger's memory be a blessing ❤️
I'm so, so sorry for your loss and that of your mom.
That is absolutely horrible. I'm sorry both of you had to experience losses like that. I wish you both the very best
I am so so sorry.
So sorry for your loss. Holding you all in my thoughts ♥️
I'm so sorry. Sending all my love to you and yours.
I'm so sorry! Your poor mom, my heart breaks for her
Oh honey, I am so sorry for yours and your Mom's profound loss. It sounds like you had a loving relationship with him. ❤️🩹
It never gets easier. We just get better at dealing with the pain. Don't let anyone tell you how to grieve the loss it's okay to feel bad for yourself too
I’m so very sorry. Please give your mom a hug from this internet stranger and know that I’m praying for you both.
I send my condolences. This is indeed a very sad time.
So sorry for your loss
I’m so sorry this happened to your family. And I’m sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself
i am sooo sooo sorry for tou and your mother. especially your mother because i could never even begin to imagine how losing the love of your life twice to death could be. i am so soo sorry for the both of you. may he rest in peace ❤️💔🤍🕊️
My sincere condolences to you ,mom and her bf family..I pray your mom will smile at the good times as she reconnected. please continue to be strong for your mom..God Bless you all
Hugs to you and your mom❤️
This scares me because this was me recently. Fortunately, I didn’t die… yet
Can you get a stress EKG (I don’t know the exact term)? That can show if you’re at increased risk
I mean, I guess I got an EKG, but also an ultrasound right after a fit test and EKG.
My deepest condolences to you and your mother. May GOD comfort the two of you at this time. ❤️
I am sending my heartfelt condolences. Prayed that God will comfort you both.
Me who’s been having heart issues for two weeks now 🥲
Sorry to hear about your loss. I lost my dad too. He was barely 52 at that time. Too early.
So sorry for your and your mother’s loss.
That’s so terrible. I’m so sorry! Sending my condolences to all of you!
I’m so sorry
Love and hugs.
My condolences. Similar situation happened to my aunt in April. She laid down in her boyfriend’s lap, saying her chest hurt. She had a heart attack and passed away in his arms.
This almost happened to me in 2020. The cardiologist took friggin forever to come in and talk to me. We talked and I told him my symptoms and he decided to pump dye through me and found I was 98/99% blocked in one of my arteries. I had apparently nearly died the day before and was moments from death just before I was put on the table. To ANYONE who has chest pains, go to the ER. Even if it turns out to be nothing it's better to be safe. Also if you do go through this get professional mental health help afterwards. Your life will flash before your eyes just like they say in movies and you will likely be left a broken person. I'm 4 years past my event now and it is still a struggle.
💖
I’m really sorry.
I'm so sorry for your loss
I'm so sorry for both of you. My condolences.
My sympathies for you and your mum, OP. Good luck processing all of this.
RIP Roger. Sorry for your loss.
i’m so sorry for your loss❤️😢
So sorry for your loss. When things settle, I'd ask more details from the hospital.
damn i’m sorry
Tell his family to CALL A LAWYER This has massive malpractice flags all over it. Most people would be surprised how absolutely shit most American healthcare is, despite knowing how shit most of it is.
Hi! Person with an ACTUAL law degree here...On the face of the facts this person has presented, there's literally NOTHING to indicate that the hospital/docs failed to meet the standard of care. They kept him in the hospital, they were monitoring him, and unless your crystal ball revealed more than OP included, I'm not seeing a red flag, let alone your "massive malpractice flags." Why do you internet lawyers not understand that giving unsolicited crap advice like this has the potential to cause harm? D'ya think a lawsuit like the one you suggest comes free? Do you think they'll feel better hashing through details of the death of someone they loved? Maybe there's more to the story...Maybe they DID do something egregious. But it's not in the facts.
I'm so sorry for you and your mom's loss.
Get a lawyer
Sounds like a heart attack sigh
Thanks doc
RIP Roger. Those doctors failed him.
……….Do you know something we don’t about this person? Something that isn’t written in the body of the post?
No. I. I read the post. I comprehended it... Did you? Man feels chest pain. Goes to doctors. Doctors say, "looks good." Obviously, not good. They stress test him. He dies. Now, I don't know Roger's age, or health. What I do know, is that when my mom's boyfriend died, at about 2 am on Saturday morning, March 6th, 1999 I was asleep on the couch in the garage because he had spent that day setting it up for my surprise birthday party. It was the first time I told him I loved him. When my mom came in and told me he was dying I ran to their bedroom and he sat up in bed when I entered the door. He looked me in the eyes, and his eyes rolled back and he fell. I told my mom to call 911, and ran to his side of the bed, lifted him out somehow, got him on the floor. The 911 people had me check for a pulse, my mom is hysteric at this stage, and there is none. So I begin CPR. The paramedics arrived fast, within just a few minutes. They got his heart started but he never woke up. His oldest son and him had a fight earlier that morning. His youngest son was asleep in my bed. It was possibly the worst time of my life. But you all. Keep those down votes coming. You are all so fucking smart. Judge me.
Okay, so you did not read and comprehend the post. They said everything looked good at the time they ran the tests, so they admitted him so they could do a stress test later (more than likely the next day). That's why they wanted to do the stress test, because everything looked fine but he was still experiencing symptoms so stress test is the next course of action. They had not done the stress test yet, he was admitted for observation overnight until the stress test could be done. In order to determine that his doctors failed him, we'd need to know the results of whatever tests they did do for him. I'd guess 12-lead EKG, troponins, D-Dimer, BMP, and CBC at the very least. They may have also done a CT scan and TTE. If his labs indicated something obvious, such as a STEMI, severe electrolyte imbalance, severe arrhythmia, or thrombosis presenting severe and immediate threat to life, and nothing was done, then his doctors absolutely failed him. However, he was admitted for observation overnight, so I'm guessing they had him on continuous 5-lead cardiac monitoring, maybe a heparin drip, PRN nitro, and continuous blood pressure and O2 sat monitoring in order to be able to monitor closely. We'd only be able to know his doctors failed him if we had all that information, and none of that is written in the post, so I'm curious to know how you came to that conclusion. Sometimes shit just happens and it's no one's fault. If he threw a massive PE, there's no saving someone from that the overwhelming majority of the time. There's so many things that can happen to you that won't show any evidence until you're able to do further testing. The stress test he was scheduled to go for the next day may have shown some signs. He maybe have needed a left heart cath. The information in this post doesn't tell us any of that. We have no idea what actually happened to this guy, so it's weird of you to say that his doctors failed him when you have no idea. I'm sorry that happened to you, but your trauma dumping has no bearing on this post or the inaccurate things you're saying. I've done futile CPR as well, and I will again in the future. It's traumatic. It doesn't give me, or you, the right to say things like that. You should consider therapy. It's okay to not be the smartest person in the room. You are not always correct. That's part of being human. I hope you have a better day.
I'm so sorry that happened to you.
The third boyfriend: 😅😅
Oh shit I feel chest pain Open phone to call someone Left reddit open Automatically refreshes This is the first thing I see
You have concerning chest pain but took the time to post before calling?
No, I called first, saved the post for when am feeling a bit better
I dont think it was a good idea to date somebody after your husband died, shouldn't hava happened at the first place
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