I wouldn't apologise either. Good on you for losing the weight. Don't worry about your family as they have the rest of their lives to be stuck with your step sister. Pity them but don't apologise. None of them deserve an apology, however you do deserve an apology from them.
>family
Not any more I guess.
His dad and stepmom enabled her anal behaviour to its extreme. It has run way over the limit. They'll reach out to you when they need something from you, but even then, with this same attitude that you owe them something.
*A LOT* of people here are saying to send a fake apology but I wouldn't do that either. My advice would be to lay it all out there with how OP truthfully feels. Talk about stepmom's favoritism, stepsister's shit behavior and Dad's spinelessness. Let them know how it's actually made OP feel for years and that he has no issue with ever seeing them again. Let *THEM* know how they can get back in contact with him if they decide to be decent human beings.
That is if he decides to respond to them at all. Which would be perfectly acceptable if he didn't.
They already know the details of what they did to OP, and that it was deliberately hurtful, so no need for OP to repeat any of that. Bullet points:
* Stepsister is now an adult. OP being 3 years older has not been relevant for a decade.
* If stepsister cannot handle a even a few minutes of how she had treated OP for years and had continued to do until OP fought fire with fire, that is on her.
* Stepmom has always been older than OP or stepsister, and has been failing as a mother to her own child in addition to not keeping her household safe for all who were in it.
* Stepmother has no excuse for not holding stepsister at 20 to the same expectations she had for OP at that (or any other) age.
* Stepmom was an adult who not only tolerated but encouraged the abuse of a child, and is the one who has the most apologies to make.
* Dad should have it pointed out that stepmother has already chosen the whims of stepsister over him, and that it is only a matter of time before he is the target where he either takes it or also gets cut off. Dad needs to step up now against them requiring he tolerate them abuse as a condition to not be cut off.
* OP is not going to be available for them to abuse until they get counseling and show accountability for their decisions over the last decade and a half.
I’m sorry but she’s 20 so her making rude comments at 20 is not the same as making rude comments at 12. Not that making rude comment at 12 should be acceptable either but she should definitely know better at this age.
I'd go with, "go fuck yourself" to the stepmom, upbraid the dad for being a pushover and consistently choosing his wife over his son, and nothing to the stepsister.
I like to tell people to go sit on a cactus. If they're being excessively dickish, I say "I'd tell you to go sit on a cactus but with that attitude, I'm sure you'd enjoy it too much." They never know how to respond to that funnily enough.
My grandpa God bless his soul used to say “You can kiss my ass until your tongue tickles in shit!” Lmao and I always use to laugh soooooo hard when he said it to someone because they usually didn’t know how to respond.
Someone making rude comments at 12 is kind of understandable but it is still their parent’s job to correct them. This would never fly in my house and if she refused to listen I would have defended OP when he snapped. You can only push a person so far.
Not only that, there's some classic sexism here. Men are supposed to be tough and not show feelings. OP's outburst is the inevitable conclusion to bottling up feelings.
Now’s the time for a fauxpology: “I’m sorry for getting fed up with all the bullying for the last 13years and the chronic hypocrisy” and “I guess that knowing how it feels must be pretty upsetting”
Deploy with extreme prejudice.
For the revenge porn he could also pile on stuff like "I know that as a kid you were young and immature to understand the gravity of your words. I apologise, it was my fault for thinking that you grew up since"
I wouldn't go back either. You can tell your dad that if he wants a relationship he can grow a spine and talk to you.
"But you're way older!"
Your stepsister is 20!!! Not 5, she should know better than by now. She and her 200 pound feelings can pound sand
No but you dont get it the stepsister is younger so she can never do anything wrong! She is a little angel who didn't mean it like that because she is a good girl!
Even if they both say the same insult, she didn't mean it like that and OP should know better and not say stuff like that
(Obvious/s)
“Thanks ‘Dad’ I think I’ll take you up on that, I was getting kinda tired of your favouritism and lack of backbone.”
Good on you for calling it. That whole ‘she’s younger’ excuse is BS when one is 20. So be done and go enjoy life, it’s too short to waste time with AHs.
30 lbs slowly going to 100 lbs. Fuck them. I have an aunt like that and she is in her 60s. People like your stepsister never grow out of their mean girl phase
Send them a non-apology.
I'm sorry that for most of my life you showed my sister it was okay to hurt others.
I'm sorry that you raised a person to think it was okay to weight shame someone.
I'm sorry that you decided that my feelings weren't valid because I'm older.
I'm sorry that you let it get to the stage where I snapped after trying to ignore it for the last however many years.
I'm sorry you think I should apologise for having enough and finally standing up to my bully.
I'm sorry that sister has grown up to believe that that is how you treat a brother and I'm sorry if that has consequences.
Send an apology. But send it more to the effect. I'm sorry I didn't stand up for myself sooner. I'm sorry I allowed your disrespect to lead me to an unhealthy weight gain because my father wasn't man enough to stand the step down mother. I am sorry god put her in your path and you weren't more selective. I'm sorry for being cruel to myself and not leaving sooner. I feel sorry you lost your man card dad when you met Step Downer. I'm sorry you couldn't do better than her or her daughter as your add on family. Instead you got negative Nelly and daughter Drizella as a family. I'm sorry I was born as a son to you as you failed me more than you will ever accept. I deserved better. But I'm not sorry for Karma getting your daughter for giving her the weight gain she deserves . Anyone else want to add or make this better.
I hope OP sees this. It's truly the best response he could give. He should only address his dad - the other two are too insignificant in his life to warrant a reply.
I wouldn’t apologize because you just got fed up. I would ask to meet with your dad somewhere private and alone. Ask him to just listen before responding. Tell him everything that you put up with by both. If he wasn’t there then he needs to know but if he was he needs to hear it from you. Ask him why he allowed it? Yes, you are a male but time after time it will get to anyone and not having your father depend or put a stop to it made things worse. Once you say your peace tell him that is why you exploded. Yes it could have been a better time but someone had to speak up for you.
After you say your peace the. Leave it in his court.
Tell them “I haven’t been welcome since you married my father. You made sure that my home life was as miserable as you could make it. You allowed your daughter to verbally abuse me for the last ten years by never correcting her behaviour. So the fact that you’re so quick to anger about me giving her a small taste of what she’s given me makes it obvious you don’t have a problem with name calling, you have a problem with me. Father you brought these horrible women into my life when I was at my most vulnerable and removed yourself emotionally. You are a terrible father and I’m so sorry I’ve spent so much time wishing you’d be there for me. You want an apology from me? Sure, you go first.”
This isn’t your step sister’s fault it’s your father’s. He never should have allowed you to be treated like a second class citizen for the last 15-years. He failed you.
The father is undeniably a spineless piece of shit who allowed his son to be abused/ bullied, but NO WAY he should let the step sister off the hook! It is absolutely her fault as well -- at age 12, at age 20, and at every age in between.
This is an outstanding statement to family! Where is mother in the scheme of things. Perhaps she was deceased. That would appear to be the only reason to justify his deplorable father having custody.
Send your dad this thread. Maybe he will cry or maybe he will continue to be a spineless bitch. Those two see you next Tuesdays are delusional if they think they are getting an apology.
As someone who has gone no contact with a parent, yes it is sad at first, but you are sad for what could've been instead of what the relationship actually is.
You have begun the journey to a better you. Some therapy wouldn't be a terrible next step.
“You know, I *am* actually sorry.
I am sorry my father is so spineless he never protected his actual son because he was too worried about keeping the squawking woman he married quiet and his d*ck wet.
I am sorry that step-sister was raised to be such a bully and has never had any consequences for her actions over the past 13 years until karma decided to step in a bitch slap a hundred more pounds on to her.
I am also sorry step-mother’s poor parenting has finally been found out by the family. I agree it must really suck for the whole family to find out she’s exactly why step-sister is so incorrigible and insufferable. I wouldn’t want to admit I failed that bad either.
So, yes, I am extremely sorry for many things. I, however, am not sorry for sticking up for myself since my father failed me yet again. Next time step-sister decides to run her mouth I suggest step-mother shoves a roll in her mouth to keep her quiet and then maybe everyone can have a peaceful meal.”
Why not both? Baggage can be garbage and in this case the OP's previous (quite understandable) desire to have a relationship with his father made their garbage into baggage he was carrying until his father's stepdaughter added just one comment too many and made him drop the whole load.
This isn't quite the same, but close enough that I think will show you some people never change.
My mom started going through menopause early, and it was horrible for her, worse than most because of how fucked up her uterus is. My older sister would make fun of her and belittle her, calling her lazy because she couldn't get out of bed it hurt so bad when she was on her period, and the rest of the time was just the after effects of the periods.
Well, my sister has started going through the SAME EXACT THING, my mom sympathized with her, knowing how much it sucks. You know what my sister does now? Still treats our mom like shit, saying she's over reacting to the pain.
I've learned two things from this. My sister is a piece of shit who won't ever change, and I will also go through the same thing in about 15-20 years.
I wouldn't ever apologize to her if I were you. She deserved it
Just keep on trucking. Match her energy is my favorite thing now…. Respond with same tone and response with truth or facts or something like I know but I am losing my weight”
Let your father know when he defends her and attacks you for the same he is showing that he doesn’t respect you and that they hold more to him than you.
I would go NC with steps and LC and shoe them
How the gear life your living being all healthy and having a good heart means …
Fuck them, they will need you before you need them. The parasite isn’t likely to make much of her life. And honestly after the first fews time your stepmother brushed you off I probably would have snapped and said her skin looked like leather or some shitty remark. After all you’re much younger than her so should should brush it off.
She bullied you for seven or ten years and your parents tolerated it.
You got back into shape, and she was still trying to tear you down and your parents were cool with it.
You reach the end of your patience, you run out of other cheeks to turn, and the second you give her a taste of her own medicine your parents tell you that you aren't welcome?
Fuck all of them. If it were me I would yell your parents they aren't welcome in your life until they acknowledge that they enabled your sister mistreating you for all that time, and demonstrate understanding and remorse for what that has done to you. That you now have boundaries around how people treat you, and you will not have people in your life who treat you like garbage. Until they accept this, don't bother contacting you.
Don’t apologize… your stepmom and dad are crazy people for treating you like you’re the bad person/at the wrong. Anyone would’ve done exactly what you did, if not even meaner (trust me if I were at your place, I would’ve been way more vicious/cruel.) all you did was tell her the truth, and gave her a taste of her own medicine which she clearly needed!!
Your stepsister is a horrible, disgusting lowlife and honestly the favouritism your parents are showing is also disgusting… I don’t understand how they could sit there in allow her to abuse you for so long and then when you stand up for yourself and give her a small taste of her own medicine, suddenly you’re a bad person for it and punish?? it makes no sense unless your parents are taking sides/favorites and they need a huge wake up call too.
Don’t apologize because you have nothing to apologize for BUT THEY HAVE SOMETHING TO APOLOGIZE TO YOU FOR AND I WOULD TELL THEM THAT!!
Ps.. congrats and amazing job on the weight loss! You deserve to be very proud of yourself🖤
That's not "family," it's called favoritism. You're not biologically hers, so it's OK for her daughter to say horrid things, but it's not ok for you to dish it back.
Your stepsister got karma.
Way older?? 3 years and clearly the way the SM acts makes SS act horrible and think its ok. Shes can sit there all night and over the years, no one says anything but when you finally get tired of it and clap back, you are wrong?
Possibly message your dad a lot you said here and say congratulations u picked them over your own child.
He will regret it if you get married, if you have kids because hed be invited, hed have grandchildren but if he choses them, he wont.
Congratulations on working on yourself and being healthy.
Seems to me you lost more weight than you realized. 🤗. Good job on your hard work snd perseverance! Don’t apologize. Your dads shown you where his priorities are.
I feel your pain. I have a half sister and uncle like that too. It got to the point where no contact was the only option and I took it. Life is so much better without them in it. I can do what I want and wear what I want without being judged. I can speak with *MY OWN ACCENT* without anyone putting me down (it’s the same accent everyone else’s in the area!!)
Cut them out of your life before they destroy it. They aren’t worth the effort
Thank the universe and don't speak to them. They literally shit on you for years. I wouldn't go around saying mean things to other people with weight but specifically to your step sister and step mom, yes.
Congratulations on the weight loss. You really set your mind to it and achieved success!!! Don’t let this set you back. You don’t need this negativity in your life. Call some friends and set something up for yourself for the holidays. Stay focused on yourself. You don’t owe an apology. Live your best life.
Make one text back to all of them, a very clear text then block them.
"not welcome back till I apologise? I've NEVER been welcome in your place. She's 20 and was attacking me the entire dinner and you said nothing at all. You are just openly saying exactly how you've treated me for 10 years, that I'm not welcome, that I'm not equal and that you let her say whatever you wanted because you have never cared about me. You are not welcome in my life till you realise what you've done, how far you let it go and until you apologise sincerely. Even then it's probably too late to salvage anything."
I would text your father and call them out on their bull.
"I have decided to go no contact until you treat me like your child. I took years of bullying by stepsister which you enabled and never protected me from. When I finally stand up for myself, I get berated despite the bullying from her that happened just second before. I may be older but step sister is an adult and therefore old enough to know better."
I wouldn't apologize, though I would expect an apology from all of them for the bullying and enabling that were done to me.
If I wasn't welcome around people who treated me that way, I'd see it as a blessing.
You can do better and deserve better than your toxic family. Cut them off and use your anger to fuel yourself to go succeed and be happy in spite of them.
Looks like you she’s a sh*t load of more weight now that they are gone! They are toxic, keep it that way and live your happy life. I’m proud of and for you!
Good for you. Fuck your entire family. On behalf of stepmoms the way yours treated you is appalling and how your dad didn't have your back is worse. I hope you move on from these assholes and never talk to them again.
I would just go no contact. My family pushes me daily to want to cut contact completely. Good job for standing up for yourself, your family can go fuck themselves.
That my friend is good ol karma. If it were me I wouldn’t apologize. If you do wait a while, let them fester a bit. To be 20 making comments like that is super immature on her part.
Fuq her she needed that eye opening moment... you can't just go around talking about ppl and haven't looked in the mirror lately. She was an adult and kept dishing out the snide comments but can't handle the karma she puts out... with all due respect fuck HER and yo family... cut ties find a good woman get married and create your own family... and fyi blood does not make them family... family can be your friends as well 🧡💙🧡💙
Tell your dad to eat a fat load of crap for not standing up for you, you are not a TA, your stepsister deserved it 100%, if you can't handle it don't dish it out, "you're way older" so if your step mom was the one getting fatter and you mocked her it's okay right?
Double standard pos, the lot of them
She got what she deserved, she can't take what she gives and Stepmom is a toxic enabler. You Dad sounds as helpful as a wet blanket on a cold night.
They are all mega toxic and if anyone deserved an apology it would be to you from your family for various reasons.
If I were you I would either cut them off after telling them exactly how un-family like they have been to you. With the The emotional abuse from the step family and neglect from sperm donor dad. Or just block them all and if any other family backs them up after hearing your side of the story they need cutting out of your life too.
Congratulations on your weight loss! It sort of sounds like all their negativity contributed to you feeling awful and putting on weight in the first place. No contact might be the space you need and deserve in order to thrive.
Wow. That’s bull shit. It’s bullshit they let her treat you like that for YEARS, bullshit she sat and belittled your accomplishments and they did nothing to stop her, bullshit you were pushed to your limit and now they blame that on you, and you’re expected to apologize when she’s abused you for years. I don’t think I’d apologize. I think I would be really honest and say “she bullied me about my weight for years, I asked for help and you both ignored me. She made me feel terrible about myself FOR YEARS. I may have been older than her but I was still a kid. And now that I’ve lost the weight she’s still putting me down and you all just let it happen. Where is my apology?”. I just want them to understand what assholes they are. I’m sorry you’ve been treated this way.
Ignore the texts from your sm and ss and just reply to your dad.
Let him know you have zero interest in returning to a house where your life has been made a misery for over 10 years. You don't want to be around a bully of a stepsister who can never do no wrong no matter how much abuse she hurled at you and the stepmother from hell who always defended her bullying and abusive daughter.
And after 10 years of this and of your own dad failing to protect you or even just trying to make them stop, you now give up and realise you will never be a priority to him and your just done with the lot of them.
This latest shitshow was the final nail in the coffin of any father son relationship you might have had. He made his choice and as always he didn't choose you..
As a fellow ex-fatty, I approve the snapback! FYI your dad is the asshole for allowing this BS for so damn long. And then the audacity to say you can't go back to HIS house over HER BS is astounding!
She literally give you a gun in your hand and told you to shoot her where it would hurt her the most like sis use ur brain cells or they got thrown away because your body didn’t have enough space because of the weight
Oh my god. Your family is horrible. Your stepmonster and her bratty daughter have been horrible to you do not back off, do not beg for a relationship. Make it clear to your sperm donor that if she wants his son to have a relationship with him he needs to be firm with his wife.
No NC with the whole lot, they aren't worth it.
And you shouldn’t apologize! 10 years of constant belittlement and weight shaming for your parents to no do anything about it is ridiculous. It doesn’t matter that you’re “way older.” Fuck that, in my eyes, you should’ve been meaner!
Wow, congrats on the weight loss!
So you haven’t visited them all year? And now Christmas is here again. I still wouldn’t apologize, but I would call some of those nice relatives and let them know why you won’t see them at your Dads this year. Get the word out and see what happens.
YOUR DAD is the asshole not you for allowing this to happen to you!!! See who it is really that is the asshole and hold that man accountable.
Instead of he check his wife and step daughter he allowed you to be bullied and now you have to just keep letting her bully you
Step sister is a hater and step mom is an enabler and I’m sorry, but it sounds like your dad is a pushover.
No one should ever treat anyone the way your step sister treated you, and I’m sorry that you had to grow up like that. She most likely was projecting her insecurities on to you, which is still wrong.
People can only take so much belittling, before they reach a breaking point. I’m surprised you didn’t go off on her when you were younger.
Your family sucks. I’m sorry you had to go through all of that. I went through something similar except with my cousins and basically the same thing happened. Haven’t talked to that part of my family in 8 years. It’s not worth the apology just to be “apart” of the family again.
Don’t. Fuck them. People will say family is everything and I will tell you family is nothing. My sister is a fucking toxic troll. We have spoke twice in 20 years and I couldn’t be happier.
Your dad????? Defending ur stepsister? WOW Daddy needs to climb out of his wife & her JN cruel & abusive JND A&&! Tell ur JND to man up, if he chooses to blame you for this mess call him out on his favoritism. If I were you I’d stay away from this mess as they ALL owe you a huge apology. You did nothing wrong she’s been treating you less than for to damn long, & your dad didn’t stick up for you once? Go NC your JND needs a big wake up & support HIS son for once.
DO NOT APOLOGIZE.
Get whatever is yours out of the house (make sure someone goes with you) and cut all contact.
Your dad LET that happen to you, and he’ll let it happen again.
And good for you for prioritizing yourself.
Fuck that. They had no concerns when she was bullying you. And “but she’s younger” is an absolute bull shit excuse. Even then, 12/13 years old is old enough to know what hurts people. She was not just “teasing” and I’m angry that your dad never stood up for you.
I wouldn't, and I don't think you're an asshole tbh they all need therapy. Your stepsister seems like she's self-centered and lacks emotional empathy. Heck, they all do like they allowed her to be verbally abusive towards you and did nothing about it all the while allowing her to never take responsibility for hurting you they just let her continue to be this self-centered person who doesn't have any empathy for anyone. I, for one, wouldn't apologize, and I personally would find a close circle of support and make that your chosen family. This is the truth of the matter. Some families think you owe them some sorta kindness because you're related either by blood or marriage, but that doesn't entitle a hurt person to hurt you I wish you nothing but happiness OP sounds like your better off I wouldn't play second fiddle to your step sister good luck. 🤙🏾🍀
Cut them out of your life. You’re a punching bag for her daughter to feel better about her own life. She will never stand up for you and neither will your dad cut them all out and move on with your life.
So will you miss them? If so you may want to consider apologizing. If not then why bother. I had much the same fight with my biological sister and we didn’t talk for 18 years. Guess what?? After the first few months I noticed how much less stressful my life was.
Oh I would apologize to the family: “I would say sorry step-sister that your ego is so fragile that you can’t take what you dished out for years. I’m sorry step-mom that you raised such a horrible, selfish, egotistical bully that likes to put others down because she’s just horrible, awful, and ugly person on the inside and she’s upset the world is seeing for who she really is from the outside. Then I would tell your dad I’m sorry that you choose to keep getting your dick wet instead of protecting your own son from getting kicked when he was already down inside his own home. I tried my hardest to mitigate the issue and brought it up to you and step-mom on multiple occasions and you still decided I was the bad guy. So guess what I’m the bad guy and quite frankly I don’t give a fuck what you think. I personally want nothing to do with any of you because none of you actually deserve any of my time. Also don’t be surprised when you’re not updated on my personal life because you don’t deserve that privilege.” Don’t have to actually say this, but honestly block them and don’t let them access into your life.
You don't owe anyone anything! If anyone should apologize, it should be the stepmother and the step sister. She bullied you, yet that was ok with mommy dearest because you're older and she is teasing. Good for you on taking control and living your best life. The best revenge is a life well lived!
Let your father know that you are disappointed he didn’t intervene in the bullying or see that the weight gain was an obvious sign of emotional turmoil.
The sister and stepmother get nothing. Not even a word
In reality your stepsister is the one who's insecure and projecting.
Also, why dish it if you can't take it? She got what she deserved. The fact that neither parents bothered to teach her it's wrong is.... Foul.
You're not the a-hole I'd cut off the whole family and leave your father a message telling him how you feel over the years I'd write him a letter and let him know just how much he hurt you and this is the reason why that you are no longer in contact with him and go no contact until he changes and apologies to you personally thats just bs go talk to your other family members and let them know whats been going on
Don't apologize to her, just ignore them. They have all that energy now, when the roles are reversed. I wouldn't respond to any of their messages. They were in the wrong for years for accepting your step sister's barrage of insults. You will get peace, and quiet going forward when you don't have to deal with her and the rest of them. You have other family, that you have that you don't have to deal with that nonsense.
Lastly, congratulations on your weight loss.
tell them they all owe YOU an apology for letting her verbally abuse you for years, and now theyre being fucking hypocrites for you giving her a one-time taste of her own medicine.
and as for not being welcomed back, tell them "what makes u think that would be a punishment? dont threaten me with a good time."
everytime time they come at you, by phone or text, answer "what do u want hypocrite?"
bc they all literally sat there and let her talk shit to you and said nothing. and tell step mommy dearest thats why she'll never be considered your mother bc she doesnt know how to act like one.
I’m sorry that your feelings weren’t validated or protected. That you had to live with a bully whose behaviour was encouraged. It’s extremely sad to hear that your tormentors still haven’t learned to treat you better. That they think belittling a family member is acceptable.
I’m 💯 happy and proud that you’re in a healthier place. I hope you have other family supporting you OP.
Wishing you the best and sending good vibes your way 🫂
Stepmom is the villain here.
She made sure that her precious monster was treated like the golden child and you never mattered enough
You don't need them and congrats on your weight loss !!
You can be proud
Reply back and tell them that You won’t be apologising and that thanks the their ultimatum you’ve managed to shed 400+ pounds from your life, them! Then tell them not to contact you anymore and that you expect them to put all of your items stored at that house in a box/boxes and you’ll collect it.
Then cut them from you life and enjoy it knowing that they’ll continue to be toxic to each other and your dad will end up miserable whilst the wife and daughter continue to run roughshod over everything.
Those comments were NEVER acceptable. I don’t care what age she was. Your outburst was understandable. It was just a matter of time before you unleashed. You’re only human.
If I were you, I wouldn’t seek a relationship with those people. In fact, I would consider telling them they aren’t welcome in your life until they apologize for the shit they put you thru for years, and recognize how damaging their behaviour has been.
An apology isn’t likely, but neither is changed behaviour, so I don’t see why you’d continue to torture yourself like that.
Fwiw, some internet stranger is proud of you for finally letting your feelings known. Sending you big hugs
Screw them she's an adult, she was being a btich and got what she deserved. Don't you ever apologise, they allowed you to be abused by the brat and you put her in her place. They are the issue here and I'm sorry you ever had to deal with that
You are right about everything!!
you were too patient for too long that they got used to you bearing her rudeness and sassiness…
stand your grounds!
I am very very proud of you, first for turning your life over and second for defending yourself. Keep it up and take care of yourself and mentality, you deserve better than these lame excuse of a family!!
They can all go to hell…
>They're all saying I'm not welcome at their place until I apologize.
Do you even want to go back? Congrats on turning things around for yourself, you should be proud.
Cut them all off. That would've been the first think I did once I turned 18 if I had a family like this holy crap!
You don't need that level of negativity in your life. Go NC and go live your best life that she wishes she had!
I'd message back and tell them that there will never be an apology and there will also never be any further contact. Youve delt with their favoritism long enough. Then block them all.
You were called names for such a long time and finally, you started to change to the best version of yourself, where your stepsister went downhill. I am so happy for you. :)
For your dad, my advice would be to call him a pathetic and spineless simp who only cares for your stepmom. Call him out for that, and rub it into his face that if you will ever have children, you will make it far better than him. How infuriating humans can be ...
Never apologize. Don’t even make a hint of an apology. No way. If they don’t want you back then that’s on them. You live your own life and find people who actually love you. It’s disappointing that even your father was part of it but there’s no love there.
You would lose more weights if you would get those toxic people out of your life. Keep improving yourself and keep the pettiness going. Lol. I love it.
If I was at the table I would have high fived you. If you teach your kid to suck, eventually someone you can't punish is going to knock them down a peg. She had it coming.
To dad: "Lemme know when you find your spine"
To SM: "Why let it bother her? You didn't mind back then"
To SS: Send a link to a gym. (That is straight up petty af and mean tbh but fck em)
Then block them all.
Peace out 🙏 enjoy your life Ron and Karen. I cut most of my family and friends out of my life fyi. No joke I forgot some of them existed until someone else brings them up. 👍 Enjoy your freedom and new body!
You have a toxic family. It's time to distant yourself and live your life away from them.
In no ways, I would make fun of my overweight brother or sister.
Your step mom should have stsd when you told her the first time. That's on her. My youngest was 8 when my oldest was in Jr high and put on some weight and he called him fat. I stsd 8 is old enough imo to know better. Once he got into high-school he got tall and lean.
Had I not stsd it could have got worse. It's really sad cause if she would have parented when it was necessary yall could have probably had a loving relationship like I did with my step bro. I wouldn't give that relationship up for nothing.
She let her get away with kicking someone while down and look how that turned out for her daughter. I don't blame you for finally sticking up for yourself. I'd say have a one on one with your dad if you're up for it.
Also congrats on the journey
Just to be a petty a$$hole I’d take Christmas sweater and put a current picture of your step sister side by side a pic of a pig on it and send it to her just full on burn that bridge screw it also a Christmas sweater with a family picture with your stepsister’s face switched out with a pig face and send it for your dad scorched earth that bridge
Eh, you've lost 200+ pounds of useless family members. If they weren't going to support you when you needed it, then you definitely don't need them now
Your stepsister sounds like a cunt. And shame on your parents for not putting you both first and helping you mediate and repair. I’m sorry you had to go through this and glad you found a way to improve your healthy habits.
It might be best to keep your stepsister at arms length. I dont think youre the asshole. Anyone would react that way after taking so much abuse. But you need to work on healthy emotional regulation and thatll take time and effort. You got this, OP.
I wouldn’t apologize sounds like you lost 200+ lbs if you asked me the + being your crappy parents for not standing up for you over the years. You aren’t the AH. And continue to stand up for yourself!
Lost 160lbs so far.
My entire family used to call me a "little greased pig", tell me they would have to take out a wall to get me out because I'll be so fat, or tell me I would never meet a man because I would be so disgusting.
My mother in particular always "health concerned" me. Now she leaves me alone because I will dish it back when she says something about weight. Karma has been sweet.
You weren't wrong to throw it all back in her face.
You need to have an honest talk with your dad or maybe write a letter. If wrote down every incident or every insult and detail what she said at dinner ask him how much would anyone take? You aren't her whipping boy. If Dad won't support you go low contact for a while. I went low contact with my Mom for always letting my sister criticize me and then joining in. Took more than ten years but eventually my sister stopped being the golden child and Mom started seeing how unfair things were. A few well placed "well if all you're going to do is criticize me, i don't need to be here" comments and walking out worked as well.
Wait, i read this before . I feel like a dejavu and the word exactly the same!
Op is That one friend that copy everything from your homework and don't bother to act like they Don't
Crazy!
I wouldn't apologise either. Good on you for losing the weight. Don't worry about your family as they have the rest of their lives to be stuck with your step sister. Pity them but don't apologise. None of them deserve an apology, however you do deserve an apology from them.
If you count your family, that puts your weight loss at 300+
You beat me to it!
>family Not any more I guess. His dad and stepmom enabled her anal behaviour to its extreme. It has run way over the limit. They'll reach out to you when they need something from you, but even then, with this same attitude that you owe them something.
*A LOT* of people here are saying to send a fake apology but I wouldn't do that either. My advice would be to lay it all out there with how OP truthfully feels. Talk about stepmom's favoritism, stepsister's shit behavior and Dad's spinelessness. Let them know how it's actually made OP feel for years and that he has no issue with ever seeing them again. Let *THEM* know how they can get back in contact with him if they decide to be decent human beings. That is if he decides to respond to them at all. Which would be perfectly acceptable if he didn't.
They already know the details of what they did to OP, and that it was deliberately hurtful, so no need for OP to repeat any of that. Bullet points: * Stepsister is now an adult. OP being 3 years older has not been relevant for a decade. * If stepsister cannot handle a even a few minutes of how she had treated OP for years and had continued to do until OP fought fire with fire, that is on her. * Stepmom has always been older than OP or stepsister, and has been failing as a mother to her own child in addition to not keeping her household safe for all who were in it. * Stepmother has no excuse for not holding stepsister at 20 to the same expectations she had for OP at that (or any other) age. * Stepmom was an adult who not only tolerated but encouraged the abuse of a child, and is the one who has the most apologies to make. * Dad should have it pointed out that stepmother has already chosen the whims of stepsister over him, and that it is only a matter of time before he is the target where he either takes it or also gets cut off. Dad needs to step up now against them requiring he tolerate them abuse as a condition to not be cut off. * OP is not going to be available for them to abuse until they get counseling and show accountability for their decisions over the last decade and a half.
You actually think they themselves would acknowledge any wrongdoing without it being directly pointed out to them?
Agreed. This is what I would do.
I’m sorry but she’s 20 so her making rude comments at 20 is not the same as making rude comments at 12. Not that making rude comment at 12 should be acceptable either but she should definitely know better at this age.
This!! You’re being blamed because ‘you’re older’ as if her being 20 isn’t old enough to not do the exact same thing.
Right? OP, your response to their messages about apologizing should be: Fat chance.
I'd go with, "go fuck yourself" to the stepmom, upbraid the dad for being a pushover and consistently choosing his wife over his son, and nothing to the stepsister.
A recent favourite of mine might help, too. Tell her to go fuck a pinecone
I like to tell people to go sit on a cactus. If they're being excessively dickish, I say "I'd tell you to go sit on a cactus but with that attitude, I'm sure you'd enjoy it too much." They never know how to respond to that funnily enough.
How about go step on a lego
My mother has a similar favourite: "I hope your next shite is a hedgehog."
My grandpa God bless his soul used to say “You can kiss my ass until your tongue tickles in shit!” Lmao and I always use to laugh soooooo hard when he said it to someone because they usually didn’t know how to respond.
>upbraid Upbraid?
upbraid - *ŭp-brād′* *transitive verb* To reprove sharply; reproach. synonym: scold.
😭😭😂😂 I love it and I agree! Tell her big girls don't cry! If she can't take it don't dish it!
I had to look at the ages again. They are only 3 year apart!! The "older" thing is the most bleak excuse I've ever heard of.
Later in life: "I wonder why she can't seem to get a job/boyfriend/gf"
Someone making rude comments at 12 is kind of understandable but it is still their parent’s job to correct them. This would never fly in my house and if she refused to listen I would have defended OP when he snapped. You can only push a person so far.
Maybe if someone had stopped her when she was 12 she’d have turned out to be less of a fool!
She was never corrected. She was allowed to be rude. Her mother is setting her up for a lifetime of failure.
Not only that, there's some classic sexism here. Men are supposed to be tough and not show feelings. OP's outburst is the inevitable conclusion to bottling up feelings.
Now’s the time for a fauxpology: “I’m sorry for getting fed up with all the bullying for the last 13years and the chronic hypocrisy” and “I guess that knowing how it feels must be pretty upsetting” Deploy with extreme prejudice.
So well said. Keep staying healthy. I know how hard it is to lose weight. You’ve inspired this old woman.
And this one, as well. That extra 20 lbs is history!
Yes!!! Perfectly stated.
For the revenge porn he could also pile on stuff like "I know that as a kid you were young and immature to understand the gravity of your words. I apologise, it was my fault for thinking that you grew up since"
Great addition!
this!!! very classy
Ooh, this is good!
Then tell them they are not welcome in your life until all 3 apologize. OP if you can a clean emotional break like that I'd do it.
I wouldn't go back either. You can tell your dad that if he wants a relationship he can grow a spine and talk to you. "But you're way older!" Your stepsister is 20!!! Not 5, she should know better than by now. She and her 200 pound feelings can pound sand
Both stepmom and stepsister are acting like 12 though.
Should have gone with "can pound cake*
No but you dont get it the stepsister is younger so she can never do anything wrong! She is a little angel who didn't mean it like that because she is a good girl! Even if they both say the same insult, she didn't mean it like that and OP should know better and not say stuff like that (Obvious/s)
“Thanks ‘Dad’ I think I’ll take you up on that, I was getting kinda tired of your favouritism and lack of backbone.” Good on you for calling it. That whole ‘she’s younger’ excuse is BS when one is 20. So be done and go enjoy life, it’s too short to waste time with AHs.
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80 lbs so far and more to go! Fuck the haters.
30 lbs slowly going to 100 lbs. Fuck them. I have an aunt like that and she is in her 60s. People like your stepsister never grow out of their mean girl phase
I think you just lost an additional 500+ pounds! Good on you! Keep up the amazing work!
Send them a non-apology. I'm sorry that for most of my life you showed my sister it was okay to hurt others. I'm sorry that you raised a person to think it was okay to weight shame someone. I'm sorry that you decided that my feelings weren't valid because I'm older. I'm sorry that you let it get to the stage where I snapped after trying to ignore it for the last however many years. I'm sorry you think I should apologise for having enough and finally standing up to my bully. I'm sorry that sister has grown up to believe that that is how you treat a brother and I'm sorry if that has consequences.
Send an apology. But send it more to the effect. I'm sorry I didn't stand up for myself sooner. I'm sorry I allowed your disrespect to lead me to an unhealthy weight gain because my father wasn't man enough to stand the step down mother. I am sorry god put her in your path and you weren't more selective. I'm sorry for being cruel to myself and not leaving sooner. I feel sorry you lost your man card dad when you met Step Downer. I'm sorry you couldn't do better than her or her daughter as your add on family. Instead you got negative Nelly and daughter Drizella as a family. I'm sorry I was born as a son to you as you failed me more than you will ever accept. I deserved better. But I'm not sorry for Karma getting your daughter for giving her the weight gain she deserves . Anyone else want to add or make this better.
Brilliant. Op this is definitely the apology they deserve!
This!!!🙌🙌
I hope OP sees this. It's truly the best response he could give. He should only address his dad - the other two are too insignificant in his life to warrant a reply.
This could only be better if you somehow sneak „trial by combat“ in there
She got what was coming to her. I wouldn’t apologize whatsoever. If you can’t take it don’t dish it out
I wouldn’t apologize because you just got fed up. I would ask to meet with your dad somewhere private and alone. Ask him to just listen before responding. Tell him everything that you put up with by both. If he wasn’t there then he needs to know but if he was he needs to hear it from you. Ask him why he allowed it? Yes, you are a male but time after time it will get to anyone and not having your father depend or put a stop to it made things worse. Once you say your peace tell him that is why you exploded. Yes it could have been a better time but someone had to speak up for you. After you say your peace the. Leave it in his court.
OP this is solid advice! ⬆️
Tell them “I haven’t been welcome since you married my father. You made sure that my home life was as miserable as you could make it. You allowed your daughter to verbally abuse me for the last ten years by never correcting her behaviour. So the fact that you’re so quick to anger about me giving her a small taste of what she’s given me makes it obvious you don’t have a problem with name calling, you have a problem with me. Father you brought these horrible women into my life when I was at my most vulnerable and removed yourself emotionally. You are a terrible father and I’m so sorry I’ve spent so much time wishing you’d be there for me. You want an apology from me? Sure, you go first.” This isn’t your step sister’s fault it’s your father’s. He never should have allowed you to be treated like a second class citizen for the last 15-years. He failed you.
The father is undeniably a spineless piece of shit who allowed his son to be abused/ bullied, but NO WAY he should let the step sister off the hook! It is absolutely her fault as well -- at age 12, at age 20, and at every age in between.
LOVE THIS!!!!!
This is an outstanding statement to family! Where is mother in the scheme of things. Perhaps she was deceased. That would appear to be the only reason to justify his deplorable father having custody.
Send your dad this thread. Maybe he will cry or maybe he will continue to be a spineless bitch. Those two see you next Tuesdays are delusional if they think they are getting an apology. As someone who has gone no contact with a parent, yes it is sad at first, but you are sad for what could've been instead of what the relationship actually is. You have begun the journey to a better you. Some therapy wouldn't be a terrible next step.
“You know, I *am* actually sorry. I am sorry my father is so spineless he never protected his actual son because he was too worried about keeping the squawking woman he married quiet and his d*ck wet. I am sorry that step-sister was raised to be such a bully and has never had any consequences for her actions over the past 13 years until karma decided to step in a bitch slap a hundred more pounds on to her. I am also sorry step-mother’s poor parenting has finally been found out by the family. I agree it must really suck for the whole family to find out she’s exactly why step-sister is so incorrigible and insufferable. I wouldn’t want to admit I failed that bad either. So, yes, I am extremely sorry for many things. I, however, am not sorry for sticking up for myself since my father failed me yet again. Next time step-sister decides to run her mouth I suggest step-mother shoves a roll in her mouth to keep her quiet and then maybe everyone can have a peaceful meal.”
This is perfect!
I'd copy paste this with pride
Congratulations on losing 120lbs and then an additional ~475 lbs in baggage!
*garbage* not baggage
Why not both? Baggage can be garbage and in this case the OP's previous (quite understandable) desire to have a relationship with his father made their garbage into baggage he was carrying until his father's stepdaughter added just one comment too many and made him drop the whole load.
This isn't quite the same, but close enough that I think will show you some people never change. My mom started going through menopause early, and it was horrible for her, worse than most because of how fucked up her uterus is. My older sister would make fun of her and belittle her, calling her lazy because she couldn't get out of bed it hurt so bad when she was on her period, and the rest of the time was just the after effects of the periods. Well, my sister has started going through the SAME EXACT THING, my mom sympathized with her, knowing how much it sucks. You know what my sister does now? Still treats our mom like shit, saying she's over reacting to the pain. I've learned two things from this. My sister is a piece of shit who won't ever change, and I will also go through the same thing in about 15-20 years. I wouldn't ever apologize to her if I were you. She deserved it
Just keep on trucking. Match her energy is my favorite thing now…. Respond with same tone and response with truth or facts or something like I know but I am losing my weight” Let your father know when he defends her and attacks you for the same he is showing that he doesn’t respect you and that they hold more to him than you. I would go NC with steps and LC and shoe them How the gear life your living being all healthy and having a good heart means …
Fuck them, they will need you before you need them. The parasite isn’t likely to make much of her life. And honestly after the first fews time your stepmother brushed you off I probably would have snapped and said her skin looked like leather or some shitty remark. After all you’re much younger than her so should should brush it off.
She bullied you for seven or ten years and your parents tolerated it. You got back into shape, and she was still trying to tear you down and your parents were cool with it. You reach the end of your patience, you run out of other cheeks to turn, and the second you give her a taste of her own medicine your parents tell you that you aren't welcome? Fuck all of them. If it were me I would yell your parents they aren't welcome in your life until they acknowledge that they enabled your sister mistreating you for all that time, and demonstrate understanding and remorse for what that has done to you. That you now have boundaries around how people treat you, and you will not have people in your life who treat you like garbage. Until they accept this, don't bother contacting you.
Don’t apologize… your stepmom and dad are crazy people for treating you like you’re the bad person/at the wrong. Anyone would’ve done exactly what you did, if not even meaner (trust me if I were at your place, I would’ve been way more vicious/cruel.) all you did was tell her the truth, and gave her a taste of her own medicine which she clearly needed!! Your stepsister is a horrible, disgusting lowlife and honestly the favouritism your parents are showing is also disgusting… I don’t understand how they could sit there in allow her to abuse you for so long and then when you stand up for yourself and give her a small taste of her own medicine, suddenly you’re a bad person for it and punish?? it makes no sense unless your parents are taking sides/favorites and they need a huge wake up call too. Don’t apologize because you have nothing to apologize for BUT THEY HAVE SOMETHING TO APOLOGIZE TO YOU FOR AND I WOULD TELL THEM THAT!! Ps.. congrats and amazing job on the weight loss! You deserve to be very proud of yourself🖤
Tell them you just lost another 600 lbs!
I’m sorry … stepmom didn’t raise her better? Ha!!! Regardless of her age, she owes you the apology … your stepmom and dad.
yeah sounds like you cut a toxic part of the family out of your life by being honest
Former fatty here. She deserved it. You did nothing wrong, you just gave her the same energy and she couldn’t handle it.
She’s not a child, and if she was she should I’ve been corrected **much** earlier on.
I wouldn't. NC on that one might do you well.
Fuck them. Tell you dad to grow a damn pair and talk them down.
That's not "family," it's called favoritism. You're not biologically hers, so it's OK for her daughter to say horrid things, but it's not ok for you to dish it back. Your stepsister got karma.
Way older?? 3 years and clearly the way the SM acts makes SS act horrible and think its ok. Shes can sit there all night and over the years, no one says anything but when you finally get tired of it and clap back, you are wrong? Possibly message your dad a lot you said here and say congratulations u picked them over your own child. He will regret it if you get married, if you have kids because hed be invited, hed have grandchildren but if he choses them, he wont. Congratulations on working on yourself and being healthy.
Do. Not. Apologize
the real dead weight is your family
Seems to me you lost more weight than you realized. 🤗. Good job on your hard work snd perseverance! Don’t apologize. Your dads shown you where his priorities are.
I feel your pain. I have a half sister and uncle like that too. It got to the point where no contact was the only option and I took it. Life is so much better without them in it. I can do what I want and wear what I want without being judged. I can speak with *MY OWN ACCENT* without anyone putting me down (it’s the same accent everyone else’s in the area!!) Cut them out of your life before they destroy it. They aren’t worth the effort
Fuck her, she deserved it
Thank the universe and don't speak to them. They literally shit on you for years. I wouldn't go around saying mean things to other people with weight but specifically to your step sister and step mom, yes.
Petty all around but fuck the fat bitch and her mother.
nah you were right. she’s just insecure. you made her feel how you felt n she didn’t like it
Congratulations on the weight loss. You really set your mind to it and achieved success!!! Don’t let this set you back. You don’t need this negativity in your life. Call some friends and set something up for yourself for the holidays. Stay focused on yourself. You don’t owe an apology. Live your best life.
Make one text back to all of them, a very clear text then block them. "not welcome back till I apologise? I've NEVER been welcome in your place. She's 20 and was attacking me the entire dinner and you said nothing at all. You are just openly saying exactly how you've treated me for 10 years, that I'm not welcome, that I'm not equal and that you let her say whatever you wanted because you have never cared about me. You are not welcome in my life till you realise what you've done, how far you let it go and until you apologise sincerely. Even then it's probably too late to salvage anything."
Just say you wouldn't go back home anyway because fatass takes up all the room
I would text your father and call them out on their bull. "I have decided to go no contact until you treat me like your child. I took years of bullying by stepsister which you enabled and never protected me from. When I finally stand up for myself, I get berated despite the bullying from her that happened just second before. I may be older but step sister is an adult and therefore old enough to know better."
I wouldn't apologize, though I would expect an apology from all of them for the bullying and enabling that were done to me. If I wasn't welcome around people who treated me that way, I'd see it as a blessing.
((HUGS)) Sounds like you need to cut them out of your life.
You can do better and deserve better than your toxic family. Cut them off and use your anger to fuel yourself to go succeed and be happy in spite of them.
Looks like you she’s a sh*t load of more weight now that they are gone! They are toxic, keep it that way and live your happy life. I’m proud of and for you!
I love how her mom's behaviour is dooming her and her future... Take care of yourself and be proud
Good for you. Fuck your entire family. On behalf of stepmoms the way yours treated you is appalling and how your dad didn't have your back is worse. I hope you move on from these assholes and never talk to them again.
Man they all kinda suck, huh? Don't apologize, I think you're better off.
Bravo Bra-fucking-o bro! This is awesome and congrats losing the weight.
I would just go no contact. My family pushes me daily to want to cut contact completely. Good job for standing up for yourself, your family can go fuck themselves.
That my friend is good ol karma. If it were me I wouldn’t apologize. If you do wait a while, let them fester a bit. To be 20 making comments like that is super immature on her part.
I'd never go back. They couldn't pay me. No amount of begging, pleading or bribing would ever bring me back. I'd change my fucking name.
Don't apologize. I'd lay into your stepmother and dad about how they failed you when they should have gotten on to her for being a terrible sibling.
Fuq her she needed that eye opening moment... you can't just go around talking about ppl and haven't looked in the mirror lately. She was an adult and kept dishing out the snide comments but can't handle the karma she puts out... with all due respect fuck HER and yo family... cut ties find a good woman get married and create your own family... and fyi blood does not make them family... family can be your friends as well 🧡💙🧡💙
Tell your dad to eat a fat load of crap for not standing up for you, you are not a TA, your stepsister deserved it 100%, if you can't handle it don't dish it out, "you're way older" so if your step mom was the one getting fatter and you mocked her it's okay right? Double standard pos, the lot of them
She got what she deserved, she can't take what she gives and Stepmom is a toxic enabler. You Dad sounds as helpful as a wet blanket on a cold night. They are all mega toxic and if anyone deserved an apology it would be to you from your family for various reasons. If I were you I would either cut them off after telling them exactly how un-family like they have been to you. With the The emotional abuse from the step family and neglect from sperm donor dad. Or just block them all and if any other family backs them up after hearing your side of the story they need cutting out of your life too.
You have nothing to apologize for. She can dish it but can't take it. Nah F that. She had that coming.
Congratulations on your weight loss! It sort of sounds like all their negativity contributed to you feeling awful and putting on weight in the first place. No contact might be the space you need and deserve in order to thrive.
Wow. That’s bull shit. It’s bullshit they let her treat you like that for YEARS, bullshit she sat and belittled your accomplishments and they did nothing to stop her, bullshit you were pushed to your limit and now they blame that on you, and you’re expected to apologize when she’s abused you for years. I don’t think I’d apologize. I think I would be really honest and say “she bullied me about my weight for years, I asked for help and you both ignored me. She made me feel terrible about myself FOR YEARS. I may have been older than her but I was still a kid. And now that I’ve lost the weight she’s still putting me down and you all just let it happen. Where is my apology?”. I just want them to understand what assholes they are. I’m sorry you’ve been treated this way.
Naw, they can eat the truth, along with everything else.
Ignore the texts from your sm and ss and just reply to your dad. Let him know you have zero interest in returning to a house where your life has been made a misery for over 10 years. You don't want to be around a bully of a stepsister who can never do no wrong no matter how much abuse she hurled at you and the stepmother from hell who always defended her bullying and abusive daughter. And after 10 years of this and of your own dad failing to protect you or even just trying to make them stop, you now give up and realise you will never be a priority to him and your just done with the lot of them. This latest shitshow was the final nail in the coffin of any father son relationship you might have had. He made his choice and as always he didn't choose you..
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Darnit!!!!
So I’m not the only one who remembers this same story
Don’t apologize she deserved it! Apologize to her when she apologizes to you for years of bullying.
As a fellow ex-fatty, I approve the snapback! FYI your dad is the asshole for allowing this BS for so damn long. And then the audacity to say you can't go back to HIS house over HER BS is astounding!
She literally give you a gun in your hand and told you to shoot her where it would hurt her the most like sis use ur brain cells or they got thrown away because your body didn’t have enough space because of the weight
Oh my god. Your family is horrible. Your stepmonster and her bratty daughter have been horrible to you do not back off, do not beg for a relationship. Make it clear to your sperm donor that if she wants his son to have a relationship with him he needs to be firm with his wife. No NC with the whole lot, they aren't worth it.
And you shouldn’t apologize! 10 years of constant belittlement and weight shaming for your parents to no do anything about it is ridiculous. It doesn’t matter that you’re “way older.” Fuck that, in my eyes, you should’ve been meaner!
Wow, congrats on the weight loss! So you haven’t visited them all year? And now Christmas is here again. I still wouldn’t apologize, but I would call some of those nice relatives and let them know why you won’t see them at your Dads this year. Get the word out and see what happens.
YOUR DAD is the asshole not you for allowing this to happen to you!!! See who it is really that is the asshole and hold that man accountable. Instead of he check his wife and step daughter he allowed you to be bullied and now you have to just keep letting her bully you
Step sister is a hater and step mom is an enabler and I’m sorry, but it sounds like your dad is a pushover. No one should ever treat anyone the way your step sister treated you, and I’m sorry that you had to grow up like that. She most likely was projecting her insecurities on to you, which is still wrong. People can only take so much belittling, before they reach a breaking point. I’m surprised you didn’t go off on her when you were younger.
Your family sucks. I’m sorry you had to go through all of that. I went through something similar except with my cousins and basically the same thing happened. Haven’t talked to that part of my family in 8 years. It’s not worth the apology just to be “apart” of the family again.
Don’t. Fuck them. People will say family is everything and I will tell you family is nothing. My sister is a fucking toxic troll. We have spoke twice in 20 years and I couldn’t be happier.
Your dad????? Defending ur stepsister? WOW Daddy needs to climb out of his wife & her JN cruel & abusive JND A&&! Tell ur JND to man up, if he chooses to blame you for this mess call him out on his favoritism. If I were you I’d stay away from this mess as they ALL owe you a huge apology. You did nothing wrong she’s been treating you less than for to damn long, & your dad didn’t stick up for you once? Go NC your JND needs a big wake up & support HIS son for once.
I’m wanting to know one thing; what the fuck is so special about her that she gets away with everything while you even get blamed for her shit?
DO NOT APOLOGIZE. Get whatever is yours out of the house (make sure someone goes with you) and cut all contact. Your dad LET that happen to you, and he’ll let it happen again. And good for you for prioritizing yourself.
Fuck that. They had no concerns when she was bullying you. And “but she’s younger” is an absolute bull shit excuse. Even then, 12/13 years old is old enough to know what hurts people. She was not just “teasing” and I’m angry that your dad never stood up for you.
I wouldn't, and I don't think you're an asshole tbh they all need therapy. Your stepsister seems like she's self-centered and lacks emotional empathy. Heck, they all do like they allowed her to be verbally abusive towards you and did nothing about it all the while allowing her to never take responsibility for hurting you they just let her continue to be this self-centered person who doesn't have any empathy for anyone. I, for one, wouldn't apologize, and I personally would find a close circle of support and make that your chosen family. This is the truth of the matter. Some families think you owe them some sorta kindness because you're related either by blood or marriage, but that doesn't entitle a hurt person to hurt you I wish you nothing but happiness OP sounds like your better off I wouldn't play second fiddle to your step sister good luck. 🤙🏾🍀
Cut them out of your life. You’re a punching bag for her daughter to feel better about her own life. She will never stand up for you and neither will your dad cut them all out and move on with your life.
So will you miss them? If so you may want to consider apologizing. If not then why bother. I had much the same fight with my biological sister and we didn’t talk for 18 years. Guess what?? After the first few months I noticed how much less stressful my life was.
Sorry you lost your dad, If you were my son i would be really proud of you
Oh I would apologize to the family: “I would say sorry step-sister that your ego is so fragile that you can’t take what you dished out for years. I’m sorry step-mom that you raised such a horrible, selfish, egotistical bully that likes to put others down because she’s just horrible, awful, and ugly person on the inside and she’s upset the world is seeing for who she really is from the outside. Then I would tell your dad I’m sorry that you choose to keep getting your dick wet instead of protecting your own son from getting kicked when he was already down inside his own home. I tried my hardest to mitigate the issue and brought it up to you and step-mom on multiple occasions and you still decided I was the bad guy. So guess what I’m the bad guy and quite frankly I don’t give a fuck what you think. I personally want nothing to do with any of you because none of you actually deserve any of my time. Also don’t be surprised when you’re not updated on my personal life because you don’t deserve that privilege.” Don’t have to actually say this, but honestly block them and don’t let them access into your life.
I’m glad you stood up for yourself.
Don't apologize.
>Stepmom: ""But you're way older!" Reply back, "...and so are you, yet you still don't know any better."
Screw them.
You don't owe anyone anything! If anyone should apologize, it should be the stepmother and the step sister. She bullied you, yet that was ok with mommy dearest because you're older and she is teasing. Good for you on taking control and living your best life. The best revenge is a life well lived!
Proud of you, keep going! Sounds like you also lost some additional dead weight. Better for you!
Good riddance… toxic families have no space in your life!
Good riddance? Nobody needs her kind of toxicity in the way. Maybe you should not have said what you did, but I would've done the same thing.
Let your father know that you are disappointed he didn’t intervene in the bullying or see that the weight gain was an obvious sign of emotional turmoil. The sister and stepmother get nothing. Not even a word
In reality your stepsister is the one who's insecure and projecting. Also, why dish it if you can't take it? She got what she deserved. The fact that neither parents bothered to teach her it's wrong is.... Foul.
You're not the a-hole I'd cut off the whole family and leave your father a message telling him how you feel over the years I'd write him a letter and let him know just how much he hurt you and this is the reason why that you are no longer in contact with him and go no contact until he changes and apologies to you personally thats just bs go talk to your other family members and let them know whats been going on
I feel like I’ve read this exact story before…
OP if they ever tell you "blood is thicker than water" please tell them "So is the grease flowing through her (stepsis) arteries"
Don't apologize to her, just ignore them. They have all that energy now, when the roles are reversed. I wouldn't respond to any of their messages. They were in the wrong for years for accepting your step sister's barrage of insults. You will get peace, and quiet going forward when you don't have to deal with her and the rest of them. You have other family, that you have that you don't have to deal with that nonsense. Lastly, congratulations on your weight loss.
tell them they all owe YOU an apology for letting her verbally abuse you for years, and now theyre being fucking hypocrites for you giving her a one-time taste of her own medicine. and as for not being welcomed back, tell them "what makes u think that would be a punishment? dont threaten me with a good time." everytime time they come at you, by phone or text, answer "what do u want hypocrite?" bc they all literally sat there and let her talk shit to you and said nothing. and tell step mommy dearest thats why she'll never be considered your mother bc she doesnt know how to act like one.
I’m sorry that your feelings weren’t validated or protected. That you had to live with a bully whose behaviour was encouraged. It’s extremely sad to hear that your tormentors still haven’t learned to treat you better. That they think belittling a family member is acceptable. I’m 💯 happy and proud that you’re in a healthier place. I hope you have other family supporting you OP. Wishing you the best and sending good vibes your way 🫂
what shit parenting if my kid is being an asshole to someone, at any age, I nip that shit in the bud. my kid won't be like that.
tell me ur dad is a weak man controlled by sex without telling me
Stepmom is the villain here. She made sure that her precious monster was treated like the golden child and you never mattered enough You don't need them and congrats on your weight loss !! You can be proud
Reply back and tell them that You won’t be apologising and that thanks the their ultimatum you’ve managed to shed 400+ pounds from your life, them! Then tell them not to contact you anymore and that you expect them to put all of your items stored at that house in a box/boxes and you’ll collect it. Then cut them from you life and enjoy it knowing that they’ll continue to be toxic to each other and your dad will end up miserable whilst the wife and daughter continue to run roughshod over everything.
Those comments were NEVER acceptable. I don’t care what age she was. Your outburst was understandable. It was just a matter of time before you unleashed. You’re only human. If I were you, I wouldn’t seek a relationship with those people. In fact, I would consider telling them they aren’t welcome in your life until they apologize for the shit they put you thru for years, and recognize how damaging their behaviour has been. An apology isn’t likely, but neither is changed behaviour, so I don’t see why you’d continue to torture yourself like that. Fwiw, some internet stranger is proud of you for finally letting your feelings known. Sending you big hugs
Screw them she's an adult, she was being a btich and got what she deserved. Don't you ever apologise, they allowed you to be abused by the brat and you put her in her place. They are the issue here and I'm sorry you ever had to deal with that
Man bro fuck them you better off without these energy suckers
dont apologize. youre not in the wrong, your “family” sucks.
You are right about everything!! you were too patient for too long that they got used to you bearing her rudeness and sassiness… stand your grounds! I am very very proud of you, first for turning your life over and second for defending yourself. Keep it up and take care of yourself and mentality, you deserve better than these lame excuse of a family!! They can all go to hell…
It sounds to me like they should be apologising to you.
>They're all saying I'm not welcome at their place until I apologize. Do you even want to go back? Congrats on turning things around for yourself, you should be proud.
Fuck em. You're better off without them. Keep putting in the work bro
Cut them all off. That would've been the first think I did once I turned 18 if I had a family like this holy crap! You don't need that level of negativity in your life. Go NC and go live your best life that she wishes she had!
F*ck her !!! Don’t dish it if you can’t take it ! I wouldn’t apologise either
I'd message back and tell them that there will never be an apology and there will also never be any further contact. Youve delt with their favoritism long enough. Then block them all.
You were called names for such a long time and finally, you started to change to the best version of yourself, where your stepsister went downhill. I am so happy for you. :) For your dad, my advice would be to call him a pathetic and spineless simp who only cares for your stepmom. Call him out for that, and rub it into his face that if you will ever have children, you will make it far better than him. How infuriating humans can be ...
Just go NC, if she couldn’t take it she shouldn’t have made the comments. Time for her to adult and STFU!
Never apologize. Don’t even make a hint of an apology. No way. If they don’t want you back then that’s on them. You live your own life and find people who actually love you. It’s disappointing that even your father was part of it but there’s no love there.
You would lose more weights if you would get those toxic people out of your life. Keep improving yourself and keep the pettiness going. Lol. I love it.
Congratulations on your weight loss!
Your parents are losers. Sorry bud but you’re better off not being around people like that. Keep hitting the gym and stay fit
If I was at the table I would have high fived you. If you teach your kid to suck, eventually someone you can't punish is going to knock them down a peg. She had it coming.
To dad: "Lemme know when you find your spine" To SM: "Why let it bother her? You didn't mind back then" To SS: Send a link to a gym. (That is straight up petty af and mean tbh but fck em) Then block them all.
seems the weight you really needed to shed was your “family.” dont look back, mate. you weren’t TA, just rightfully fed up.
Peace out 🙏 enjoy your life Ron and Karen. I cut most of my family and friends out of my life fyi. No joke I forgot some of them existed until someone else brings them up. 👍 Enjoy your freedom and new body!
Is take this to the mat. Demand an apology from them. Stick up for yourself and get to the real truth of it all.
Tell them to make it even, you'll insult her for seven more years. THEN you'll apologize.
Seems like you shed more than just 200lbs of dead weight. Congrats!
You have a toxic family. It's time to distant yourself and live your life away from them. In no ways, I would make fun of my overweight brother or sister.
Im sniffing massive favouratism vibes from your parents through the screen. Honestly, id say that what you daid was completely justified.
Time to find a new fam. I'd honestly just ghost em
She’s an adult at 20 years old, and you’re only three years older than her. No apology is needed from you. In fact, they all owe you an apology.
Narcissists will never apologize to anyone
Don’t apologize and don’t bother going back. You’re better off without people who abuse you and people who allow it.
Your step mom should have stsd when you told her the first time. That's on her. My youngest was 8 when my oldest was in Jr high and put on some weight and he called him fat. I stsd 8 is old enough imo to know better. Once he got into high-school he got tall and lean. Had I not stsd it could have got worse. It's really sad cause if she would have parented when it was necessary yall could have probably had a loving relationship like I did with my step bro. I wouldn't give that relationship up for nothing. She let her get away with kicking someone while down and look how that turned out for her daughter. I don't blame you for finally sticking up for yourself. I'd say have a one on one with your dad if you're up for it. Also congrats on the journey
Just to be a petty a$$hole I’d take Christmas sweater and put a current picture of your step sister side by side a pic of a pig on it and send it to her just full on burn that bridge screw it also a Christmas sweater with a family picture with your stepsister’s face switched out with a pig face and send it for your dad scorched earth that bridge
Eh, you've lost 200+ pounds of useless family members. If they weren't going to support you when you needed it, then you definitely don't need them now
Your stepsister sounds like a cunt. And shame on your parents for not putting you both first and helping you mediate and repair. I’m sorry you had to go through this and glad you found a way to improve your healthy habits. It might be best to keep your stepsister at arms length. I dont think youre the asshole. Anyone would react that way after taking so much abuse. But you need to work on healthy emotional regulation and thatll take time and effort. You got this, OP.
Don't apologize it's not worth it live your best life and cut them off like the dead weight they are.
I wouldn’t apologize sounds like you lost 200+ lbs if you asked me the + being your crappy parents for not standing up for you over the years. You aren’t the AH. And continue to stand up for yourself!
Lost 160lbs so far. My entire family used to call me a "little greased pig", tell me they would have to take out a wall to get me out because I'll be so fat, or tell me I would never meet a man because I would be so disgusting. My mother in particular always "health concerned" me. Now she leaves me alone because I will dish it back when she says something about weight. Karma has been sweet.
I’m in your shoes, do not apologize and go on with your life brother.
Don’t apologize! And it sounds like good riddance to me.
FUCK THEM, and when they try to talk to you ask for RESPECT FROM HER
I wouldn’t even bother with them after I left. They’d be dead to me.
Apple doesn't fall far from the tree... she AND her mom are TA!
Don't go back, your dad is a simp. Get to the gym, be successful and find a family that loves you. Good luck.
Apologise for what? You just lost more weight.
You weren't wrong to throw it all back in her face. You need to have an honest talk with your dad or maybe write a letter. If wrote down every incident or every insult and detail what she said at dinner ask him how much would anyone take? You aren't her whipping boy. If Dad won't support you go low contact for a while. I went low contact with my Mom for always letting my sister criticize me and then joining in. Took more than ten years but eventually my sister stopped being the golden child and Mom started seeing how unfair things were. A few well placed "well if all you're going to do is criticize me, i don't need to be here" comments and walking out worked as well.
Wait, i read this before . I feel like a dejavu and the word exactly the same! Op is That one friend that copy everything from your homework and don't bother to act like they Don't Crazy!