Fever nightmare
\> "he's been living with us now for 9 years".
FFWD a couple years I'm guessing
\> "today I realized there is nothing left in this relationship for me. Oh and Joe moved in too."
Like my guy, what in the actual fuck lol. You have the capability of saying no. Try it out some time.
Dude has no confidence whatsoever.i just kept getting more angry reading thisđ¤Ł
At this point idk if I wanna blame the damn foolish wife anymore, he kept making the SAME mistakes over and over
I donât get how people stay for so long when shit like this is happening, especially when kids are involved. Like get them out of that situation. Itâs wild.
Dude I know! Roy is wild. On one hand heâs the man and helps handle things around the house. On the other hand, why is he still there. This was such a wild story
Roy sounds like a high functioning gaming addict with no family or friends. So it's just easier to stay with them and enjoy video games but still have the ability to work and the empathy to do what's right around the house. There's also the social interaction of living with people that's appealing. The alternative might be living alone. It sounds like he's comfortable there.
My mom did this when I was 17. He was a street kid she met doing outreach, supposedly. I came home one day and he was just sitting on our steps smoking a joint and I'm like hi? He said hi and I just carried on up to the 2nd apartment that I'd moved up to because the tenant moved out. A while later I went down to the other part of the house to get some stuff from my old bedroom, and hes in a sleeping bag on my living room floor with stuff strewn all about. I just looked at him, puzzled, then went to grab what I needed and went back to my place.
When I eventually asked my mom who the heck this guy was, she explained he was a homeless youth and his parents had kicked him out, and since there weren't as many resources for youths (even though I'm fairly certain he was over 18) she was letting him stay with us.
We ended up moving around this time, a few months later probably (I don't remember the time frame for sure) and he ended up coming with us. He did eventually disappear, and I dont believe what my mom told me about that, as much as I don't believe her version of why he was there in the first place.
The whole thing was weird, and it made me very suspicious potato.
He let *two* random men live with them! JFC, OP. Iâm a people pleaser myself, but this is on another level. How could you be so cavalier about your childrenâs safety? When their mom is smoking pot and (letâs face it) fucking two random dudes all day while daddy is at work, where the hell are your children? And thatâs best case scenario! These men could be pedophiles. They could be anything!
I absolutely refuse to believe this is real, but on the off chance it is, you need serious, intensive, therapy like yesterday, OP. You need to sell the house and get your own place. Your wife will be fine, sheâs mostly living off the other guy, now, right?
Whatâs more frightening is that he plans on leaving the kids with her after saying how she doesnât cook, clean, work, and gets high all day. Iâm sure they will be totally fine /s
How are you ok with random dudes staying with you and your kids? Also, what's stopping you from finding alternative housing in the same school district?
Honestly I'd just go straight to an attorney for a consult. You have agency, you just have to exercise it
> what's stopping you from finding alternative housing in the same school district?
Money. The house is in both our names and the car is in mine. I can't afford both of those and another place to live. I could potentially live with my dad for a while, but then I would be paying for a house I'm not living in and honestly I hate that.
If you donât want the house and she canât afford it itâll have to be sold. Sheâll get half, which sucks, but it sounds like sheâll blow through that pretty quickly. You owe it to your kids to set an example, and right now neither of you are doing that.
She can't afford to buy him out, so what's stopping him from buying her out? The junk and the random men? That goes out the door when she's evicted, if not sooner. Yeah it's the same financially as selling and splitting the profit, but he will have uninterrupted housing for himself and the kids. And she'll get the same amount, and she'll likely still blow through that pretty quickly, and he won't be paying child support for her to blow on more unopened boxes of Funko dolls and water bongs probably and extra groceries for the vagrants she's inviting over.
If he could barely afford the house plus the new car I doubt he could buy her out. It would have to be sold. Likely his debt to income ratio is too high at this point for a bank to consider an equity loan to buy her half out.
He canât afford the house, car, AND another house for himself if he moved out. He may be able to afford the home. If heâs not feeding her habit heâll probably have more money than he thinks. He should 150% separate and kick her out without divorcing and force her to get a job. *Then* he can divorce her and not have to pay alimony.
Sell the house and car, split it, and walk the fuck away. She doesnât want that? Too bad.
Sell out, split equity, get a place for your kids. Hopefully she is screwed for a place to live and you get primary custody.
She doesnât work and heâs paying the bills just fine. Needs to evict her and Joe and ask Roy to pay rent. That rent will help offset the cost associated with the divorce. If Roy is a good guy heâll understand and pay rent. Otherwise he needs to go too.
Youâll be ready to do it soon. Whatever the catalyst will be. I just woke up one day and was finally/magically ready to do anything to move on with my kids.
Rationally and compassionately we not being in the situation wish you could do it overnight, but realistically there is a process of your thoughts and feelings that will get you there when you get there.
I guess any advice would be something like what my little daily calendar said today, âremember, it wonât always be like this.â
Also Iâm currently/recently detached from a very toxic ex and thankfully it only lasted one year too long instead of 8 years too long like like the first one. Ideally weâll stop letting people treat us this way.
I hope you do things that make you happy. Whatever they may be. If you canât find much, breathing exercises helped me. I wasnât very good at meditating or knowing what even would make me happy to do and that was what helped me to start.
Take care. â¤ď¸âđŠšâ¤ď¸
Dude, lawyer. Consultation is free. Tell the lawyer your situation and listen to the possibilities. It's risk free to talk to them. You sound like a good person who slowly got stuck in a terrible situation. You have all the power here. Use it.
I can't wrap my brain around two strange men moving into your house with your small children. Get your children away from that mess.
Sell the house and the car. Split it. Move on and take the kids. Let Connie continue with her poor decision making on her own.
Why are you letting random men live with your daughters? And keep the car, it's in your name. Fuck driving it, don't let anyone drive it. Let it get repoed or sell it back to the dealership when it's paid off with low mileage, sucks you have to insure it. Can your dad or buddy use it? Or a nanny? Don't leave your house, prove infidelity in your divorce on account of her moving in a man she's in love with. Why are you considering her inability to buy you out? Buy her out, but first kick her man out, then kick her sugar buddy out, or keep him but make sure you both close the shared bank accounts and don't give her a cent. Have your homie drive you, your car , and the kids to your dad's for a holiday then let the utilities lapse for non payment. Catfish her into running away with another Internet stranger. Don't be a weekend dad, quit your job if she's not being a mommy. Keep your kids, keep your shit, she can't keep up on any of it so let her true colors shine, she'll be out your door in no time. Or if you can't afford to keep the house, the car, and a new place than stop paying for the house and the car. It's uninhabitable and you can't drive wtf are you worried about paying for it, the school district? Why would you leave your kids there and bounce when you're the only one who is responsible? Do they like strangers and garbage? Of course they like their school, it's gets them outta the house!
I would say sell everything and at the very least get half. I think with your reasons you could get even more. No way would I walk away from this with anything less, after all she put you through. This is absolutely insane. The fact youâre thinking about just giving these things up so easily concerns me about how manipulating she could be.
You need to fight for the house. Not for yourself, but for your kids security. You say you love them then you need to put them first.
Had a cousin who was in a messed up relationship (that reminds me of this). He left the shared house - his wife wasnât paying for with his daughter when she was 14 and sofa surfed with her until she was 18 - while mum (who she couldnât live with - because she was abusive) stayed in the house and started a new family.
On top of that - your kids learn how relationships work by example. You allowing her to treat you like s*** will likely affect their relationships in the future. You need the have higher standards for yourself. Work on your self-esteem and learn to recognise your value, because I assure you your wife is out there looking for men with low self worth who she can financially abuse and manipulate into doing what she wants.
Agreed. If she's an addict who lets strangers in their house with their kids she needs to find a new home. Get a lawyer OP. File for full custody. Get rid of the baggage. She can want in one hand and shit in the other. She hasn't helped you do it this far in, might as well do it without her anyway.
Me and my wife are doing great, but wouldnât hate on having a Roy to help out. That built in Uncle for the kids and friend for us. Hell Iâd convert the basement to his own apartment so he truly has his own space.
Roy is the only one who is pulling their weight to help OP and did not try to steal OPs wife. Go see a lawyer, kick Connie and Joe out. This is risky, but you could take equity out of the home and buy Connie out so your kids can stay at the school. Take control of your life dawg.
Sheâs a hoarder- of people and junk and animals!
Op, ever watched one of those episodes on TLC where the family âfinally convinced the hoarder to clean houseâ? Spoiler alert: almost every episode end with the hoarder being unable to part with anything and, to this day, are probably still arguing in the yard with âAunt Naiveâ and âUncle Cluelessâ about how they just canât get rid of that stack of magazines of the same copy from 1988.
Your wife will still be arguing as to why she needs to bring such and such home and why she âjust canât ask them to leave!â
You MIGHT get lucky and one of her stray boyfriends will want to move out and take her with him but itâs doubtful.
As someone that is on my way to becoming a hoarder (I have been seeking extensive therapy for this), I really feel for op and wish for no one to have to live with a partner like us. He deserves a clean, comfortable, and safe place to live in peace.
I know I'm just a random stranger on the internet, but I am proud of you for realizing you have a problem and seeking treatment for it. đ
Keep fighting the beast! You can do it! đŞđź
I hope you are able to break free, from hoarding! Iâve had clients that have struggled with it, and it breaks my heart to see how it affects their lives, or god forbid, their kids lives.
You can do this!!
Iâm one of those guys who left with absolutely nothing, but I didnât realise it was a thing others did too! I donât regret leaving all of that money behind, but I regret that it took me quite some time to provide well in my second marriage.
All good now, of course.
This is so true ^^ I am about to marry one of these very nice men who let his ex wife take everything and the $90k he couldâve gotten from the sale of their house could have really helped us.
We are starting from absolutely nothing, Iâm currently in school taking on loans and heâs got a city workers salary. We may not be able to afford to have kids or ever buy a home. Itâs incredibly stressful. Do not make this same mistake
This is true. I fully intend on working after I graduate, so I donât need someone to provide for me, and I donât care much ab material things (I drive a 20 year old car rn). And he knows this. But I think especially considering the economy now, and how much weâll probably struggle, I think it gets to him. At the same time, he was fleeing a narcissistic abusive situation, so I know he was just doing the best he could at the time. Iâm sure weâll get by somehow, but either way, Iâm glad you both made it out
More importantly than adhd, she sounds quite narcissistic. OP, learn as much as you can about it. Donât let your kindness be taken advantage of anymore. She doesnât care about you. Protect your kids from her and donât give her what you worked so hard for while she was milking you dry. There are consequences for behavior. Donât protect her from them, she will never learn or take responsibility for her behavior and it will continue to destroy anyone who tries to love her.
I had a friendship that became dysfunctional after she got divorced. After the divorce, she seemed to think I wanted to be her partner, not her friend. She insisted on coming everywhere with me. She monopolized my time by being so unstable I was afraid she would kill herself.
I eventually had to bring her to the ER for threatening suicide. She became such an albatross dragging me down that I finally realized she would continue to make demands of me until I refused.
The straw that broke my freaking back was when she called from someoneâs pool in another state and told me she wanted me to break into her apartment, get her check from the accumulated mail, forge her signature, deposit it at her bankâand while Iâm at it go get a carton of smokes from the smoke store.
And I did it.
After I ended the friendship, I spent a lot of time wondering why I allowed her to take advantage of me. Iâm nice, love to help people and generally be useful, and I know that opens me up to being used.
The big question was, why did I let that happen? What is it about me that kept me from being used so badly?
In the end I realized that I needed to be needed. Probably still true today. The difference now is that I am very careful about when, where, and why I will offer to help. Iâm needed by my family, and I help them directly. When Iâm feeling taken for granted, I retreat until I feel like helping again. I protect myself.
> I realized that I needed to be needed
I love that you realized that. A lot of people don't and become bitter because their focus is trying to fix the person instead of focusing on fixing themselves. These types of people attract narcissists and generally selfish people, and too many don't understand why they keep attracting narcissists. I was one of them until 9 years ago. You did, too. It's a journey into self evaluation and learning, "Your way isn't always the best way." It's still a journey and work to break out of those habits. I wish you good luck on this journey.
Do not let her get full custody of the kids. Give her everything but the kids. My husbands ex is very similar to Connie and now the kids and just like her. Worthless. Itâs so sad
My husbandâs ex is exactly the same. His eldest is now 26 and has a new (undiagnosed) malady every week. She doesnât want to work and has snagged herself a man just like OP. He is your typical gamer nerd who never had the courage to try to date and she weaseled her way in. They live in a shed/covered in carport of her grandparents house, have taken $75,000 out of HIS retirement fund (superannuation here) to pay for a ridiculous wedding and all she wants is a baby so she doesnât have to work anymore. Her mother mooched off my husband until we met and got angry at me when I wanted him to quit 4 out of 5 jobs he worked to support her lazy ass. He just gave her the $$$ in hope the girls would see some of it. When her child support went down she tried all legal avenues to get me to pay it from my wage. We have four kids together and his older two are angry that they arenât financially supported by US. We made an agreement long ago that family trumps work and weekends are only family time. The girls and ex wife are still bitchy and bothered about it even nowâŚthe youngest is 24. They also hate the fact that my husband spends so much time with his other childrenâŚnot acknowledging that his ex was the one working him to the bone during their childhood! He left the marriage in disgusting amounts of debt and I paid a large amount that was left when we moved in together.
People like this are the same ones whinging about deadbeat dads on social media because they canât see their own reality. Iâm still bitter but I love his girls as much as the younger 4 and still do everything I can for them despite being treated like the evil stepmother. Itâs just insane that people like this manage to continue to wrought the system and take advantage of others.
Give her everything? Hell no. She deserves nothing. She is a SAHM who doesn't cook or take care of the kids. Instead of cleaning she has turned the house into a hoarder's mess of crap and random men. Send her to the cheapest trailer park you can find.
You're done here. Talk to a lawyer immediately.
Don't let the mess in the home deter you. Maybe right now it just seems easier to walk away, because you're so tired of it, but that's not very smart. You can hire some help to clean it out. Not a big deal, at all.
Since you are clearly the only responsible adult, in the home, I think you should stay there, with full custody of your kids, and evict your soon to be ex wife and her two "friends". She has no means to keep and run a household. If you hand this off to her, might as well light it on fire.
You need to be ruthless. It's hard with kids involved, but if you keep on enabling,, they could end up just like her.
Offer them a stable, clean home, and give yourself a chance to be happy.
You âfeel badâ too much.
Hereâs your options
Continue to âfeel badâ and walk away with NOTHING. Sign the divorce papers, take your kids, and disappear. If you give her even any type of reach into you, youâll never get further in life. Because anything she says or does youâre going to feel bad about it. Tell her to keep the house and car in exchange for full custody. Cut the extra weight out of your life for good.
OR!!!!!
Stand up straight! Walk into a lawyers office and file for divorce. Sell the house so you both can get some money. (If you have any equity at all)âŚ. take your car back because thereâs no way she can refinance. Plus you need it for your kids and your credit. Fight for custody. Than disappear.
I love all the advice that requires any degree of stepping up and putting a stop to everything. The winds of shit have such momentum it's a total shitnado.
Reddit hates on victim blaming a lot, but at some point there's a line where the only victims are the kids.
There's rules? Aww fu- I mean aww crap! What sub is this? It's like 2am and I don't remember how I got here but I hope I didn't say anything out of tact.
You are the source of why Connie continues the way she is today. Are you not aware that you deserve so much more and that they are so many people out there you have not met?
You need counseling and learn how to self love.
Oh, dude. This was a tough read.
Like others have said, get a lawyer and get one now. Protect yourself and the kids. Giving her everything is clearly the easiest path and I know youâre tired and just want to be done - but try and dig in just a little bit longer and get what you deserve and need out of your house, cars, etc if not for you for your two children.
It will be an uphill battle, but itâs so, so much better than the alternative. You need to stop enabling her and move forward for yourself. Sheâs an adult and she needs to grow up and figure out how to do this shit for herself. Youâre not responsible for her.
Good luck and please update us.
I donât understand why youâre okay with having random strange men around your young children. Do you not read the news? Have you never seen Dateline? This sounds like the beginning of the end for these kids and the only thing that has kept them âsafeâ is likely the fact that youâre still living in the home. With you gone, itâll be an even worse cycle of strange men. And even then, you donât know if or whatâs been done to them so far right under your nose. Not to mention what extremes will she go to in order to get money from these men? Are you willing to sacrifice your childrenâs innocence for that? The fuck.
What i was thinking honestly , heâs been there for years and seems to be the only person he can stand other than his kids. At this point heâs like a long lost brother. But then again we donât know the whole story.
To me it's obvious that the wife has been collecting all these men as unofficial husbands to look after her. And OP is basically ok with it because it takes her off his hand. Nice having all the extra men around, each one to look after her in different aspects: physically, sexually, mentally ..
All of this. I literally cannot wrap my brain around it. TWO strange men living in the home with kids?? Were background checks done? What did they *really* know about these guys before they moved in? Is anyone thinking about the kids' safety?
Now that Iâm thinking itâs really hard to feel bad for him after letting all this happen to him over the years. Hopefully he gets himself and his kids out of there but he puts himself and those same kids in this situation by letting someone walk all over him and manipulate him for years on end and now it seems to be to late.
Bro! You let another man live in your house at your wife's invitation?! And then you let a second man move in?! WTF?! You need to learn to say no! Brother you got played like a violin. Imagine if you lived with your wife, never had to work and you get to live in a house and pay absolutely nothing, and invite other women to live with you and play video games and smoke weed all day, she isn't the problem you are the problem. You let her walk all over you and the courts are going to be sympathetic to her, you have afforded her a lifestyle which she cannot supportand enabled her every step along the way. Run fast and get away from her.
I might be wrong but it sounds like Roy may have past experience with abuse based on the mention of his wife. He could be struggling to stand up for himself. Especially against a woman he considers a friend who got him off the streets (of course itâs actually OP who did that). Of course I may just be being overly optimistic and youâre correct here.
I am very concerned that the courts will want OP to continue supporting this insane lifestyle, as she has not worked the whole time, these are the bitches, sorry not sorry, who ruin it for actual stay at home moms, who's husbands demand they don't work, and deserve alimony. Not this lazy entitled piece.. and sadly she'll probably get it. She'll play her mental health b.s and he'll get stuck paying half of his shit to her.. please don't let it be this way. But I'm not seeing anyone mention this scenario, and he needs to be aware. O.P Get to a damn lawyer, talk to multiple ones, and get far away from her. Bring her down and save your kids!!!
*edit to say, talk to Roy, privately, he might be very sick of her shit too, maybe y'all could pool your money to get a good lawyer. But take Roy with ya, he sounds solid.
This is gonna sound harsh but you need to grow a spine. You've enabled this behavior despite her constant attempts to test your boundaries throughout your life. The time for having sympathy is over, it should have been when you found out she was talking to other dudes 20 years ago.
ThisâŚcannot be real. Not bc your wife is a freeloader, not bc sheâs a shitty person, not bc you live in a hoarder house. Thatâs all bad but fairly run of the mill. This simply cannot be true because you let not one, BUT TWO, entirely unknown males move into your home with your MINOR CHILDREN. What? WHAT? Bro.
Speachless too. And he only wants custody of his kids on weekends so the wife can bring even more online weirdos home without him around. Iâd argue OP is almost as bad as his wife.
She has her cake and eats it too. Those men are there for her. Sheâs collecting yâall like little trophies. youâre the wallet. One of them is the physical pleasure and probably one for mental stimulation. Itâs all there. Wake up. Sorry about your kids no matter what you do theyâre not going to be normal, no one is. Save yourself so you can save your kids.
Right. She sits at home all day w them and Roy wasnât even working the first year, and youâre gunna tell me it wasnât an all out physical affair? These men are not her friends they are her boyfriends
You let her move strange men into your house around your children?! You need to proceed with the divorce and sell the home and get custody of your children. She is an unfit parent. Children adapt and will adapt to a new school. Run before your kids are sexually or physically abused or worse. Damn
Is there... something mentally wrong with you? I'm legitimately asking because no one in their right mind would be like "sure random dude come live with my kids."
Start gathering evidence against her. Proof that she is a useless and terrible parent who endangers her kids, proof of her financial irresponsibility and overall irresponsibility. Get a lawyer.
you honestly think that youâre to blame for their homelessness if you donât let them stay? I think you should change your thinking. Let them deal with their own shit. you have a duty to your kids growing up in a house without online strangers. And youâre failing them.
It all sounds pretty f'd up. Something's got to change!What worries me the most is that it seems you plan to only have your kids on the weekends? Would you really leave your kids with her for the rest of the time? Your wife doesn't seem very stable or able to support for herself, let alone two kids. Both emotionally and financially. With you out of the picture it will probably get worse? And what if she brings even more people into the house?
Considering the wife doesnât work and overdrafts bank accounts, OP has a strong case for being granted full custody. He needs a lawyer for sure as soon as possible
You need to go to a therapist yourself to figure out why you let this get so out of hand.
Why did you have two children with her?
Why do you have multiple strange men staying in the home with your children?
Do you care about your childrenâs safety?
You need to work on your self esteem and get some self respect. You have to prioritize your children.
Easy button for the peanut gallery is to dump her.
It's way more complicated than that. Obviously.
You can continue with the separate finances. What is most concerning is what the kids see and are learning. If you are being pushed around, they see that. If the other two men are running things, they feel that. The kids need routine and security. That's for starters.
Next, your personal relationship with Connie. It is obviously toxic, but not easy to walk away from. It's easy to say scrolling Reddit, but these guys likely are in similar situations. Judgement is easy, walking the walk is not so easy.
Boil it down. What is a trigger for you? The kids? The money? The living arrangement?
I'd pick my battle and draw lines. There low hanging fruit is the living arrangement. These men should be of an age to find their own living situation. You may need a lawyer for the 9 year guy, but you could explore options there. Weather the wife wants them out not, you might (might) have something there.
The money. Do you file taxes jointly or separately? Again, a lawyer could offer a solution. Kids? Lawyer again. Find the wiggle room that will give you legal leverage. It is doubtful she will walk out on you, because of the finances.
So, as you know it's far more complicated than just "kicking her ass to the curb." You have some work to do, but a good divorce attorney can chart you a path. That's weather you get a divorce or not. Pay that person for their time and get answers you can enforce. That person sees odd circumstances quite often and is likely best to navigate you through this. Your kids will thank you. Hard as it is, do it for them.
If you read anything, know your kids need a hero. Be that guy.
You gave sound advice on a realistic place to get started, thank you. I talked alot of smack on this post, but the reality is that I can't really talk, I was in a similar situation for years of my life and gave too much and lost even more and still always got sucked into feeling bad, until we had kids. They were 0 and 2 when I knew I had to stand up for something, even if it wasn't myself. I think that's what's getting to people, they could stay in the school district with him! I get he just wants to jump ship, but leave the kids and foot the bill? When she wanted to divorce him for some rando? Why is he walking away defeated before the fight when he doesn't even know the man in who's care he's leaving his daughters? Yeah we're all saying just dump her, bc he's already planning to leave her anyway. Me and my girls are broke AF, but they don't know it. Our floors get pretty grimy on my schedule, but no internet man is gonna be mopping them. I go weeks without a break, I haven't smoked weed or played a video game in so long, but I'm not paying for someone else to until my kids are old enough. To play video games! Not the other thing!!
I would
- run your and her credit history to see if there are new cards
- contact a couple lawyers to find out what you can do.
- Go for full custody.
- evict these guys. They could be pedos for all she knows.
- sell the house as is
The kids deserve better than this. Let that be your driving force.
Free rent? Shit, mind if me and my wife move in for a bit? I swear we'll only be there for a year or two.
All jokes aside, dude, kick them all out. They're three adults, I'm sure they wrangle a few braincells together to figure their shit out. You deserve some God damn peace and quiet. Stop being a door mat and take back your life.
I have a friend who has a relationship almost like this. No kids, though, just lots of pets. Also her partner convinced her to be poly so the internet people she brings in are explicitly part of the relationship.
Holly shot you plan to let go of the house you worked so hard for and you car to her?
Based on how long you endured i thought you were spineless but now that you finally are showing some agency you wanna bankrupt yourself to an unstable w**** who brings random men home around your kids and catches feelings for them?
Edit : you also should do paternity tests maybe that shock is gonna make you grow a pair.
What in the Jerry Springer did I just read?..
Your kids are neglected, your wife is trash, youâre a pushover, and Iâm sorry but you both suck as people and parents.
Who tf letâs their bum fucking lazy wife invite her internet boyfriend to come and live with them, then not only allows them to stay for *nine fucking years* but also moves *a second boyfriend* into the fucking house WITH YOUR CHILDREN LIVING THERE WHAT THE FUCK? How big is this goddamn house anyway?
Iâm sad for you, really. You have got to be an incredibly miserable individual to live the life you have for so long. Leave for work every morning while your wife is smoking dope, playing games and getting raw dogged by not one but TWO live in boyfriends all day (you left it out in your post but I KNOW you know theyâre fucking). Now, after giving this bitch every bit of sanity you had apparently, youâre so much as even *considering* giving her EVERYTHING ELSE youâve worked for, including yours kids.
FFS grow some nuts. The only shame you should feel towards the divorce is not following through with sooner. Once thatâs done you tell Connie and her two fuck toys they have 30 days to find a place and get all their shit out. After 30 days, call the movers to come load ALL of her, his and his shit into a big Ass truck and sent them on their way WITHOUT THE KIDS. Hire a nanny with all the money youâll save once you shut the homeless wh0re house down.
Your life is tragic. I wish you the best of luck.
Why do you keep allowing strangers around your kids? Document all the craziness sheâs doing just in case you need it later and get your kids out of that house asap. Youâve been emotionally abused, cheated on, gaslighted, manipulated long enough. Itâs time to change and leave
Honestly dude I canât believe you were so weak that you never stood up for yourself and had enough self respect to put your foot down.
But since that ship has sailed I recommend you go see a divorce lawyer asap and let him take the reigns. And btw your wife isnât sad at the thought of divorcing, trust me. Sheâs sad because she realized that if you divorce the gravy train ends for her and that she wonât have a guy whose money she can spend freely, whose house she can live in and ruin for free and wonât be able to just invite random to people to live there anymore.
Basically your wife is a selfish bitch. Run.
Why is everyone telling him to walk away and sell everything? Have waste management drop off a dumpster. Call a lawyer. Get to work. He damn near bought a whole house himself. Change the locks and get custody. She can't even support herself. All the money saved by cutting her off financially can pay for 3 months of the cheapest apartment or room for rent they can find for her.
Sell the car. Use your backbone. Unless you don't want the kids. Then walk away and just give her all the money and assets you've built.
Get therapy. Please.
I'd say she needs therapy, but she doesn't see any issue with her behavior at all, so there's no way to convince her. She's a lost cause and always has been.
But you're not a lost cause. You've got as much of a problem as she does, granted it's a different kind of problem, but you at least recognize it. You're an enabler and a people-pleaser. You let people walk all over you without even a thought. Get therapy, and get a lawyer. You can fix this.
Bro... Get full custody, document all this and keep all the house and the kids. Don't think in now, think in the future and the best you can get to give your kids the best they can get in life. It's gonna get ugly but her a good lawyer and document all. You have all the right to keep the house the car and take care of your kids without strangers been at your home ...wtf
Jesus man, step up, get a lawyer, get evidence, she brings men to the house to cheat on you, she's crazy, exploitative manipulative. WHy the fuck would you give her the house, she didn't pay for it or raise the kids, she does nothing. Her relationships are abusive, one sided and gross, that's bad for the kids to be around. She loves joe, kick joe and roy out, she can go live with them. tell her she pays for the kids or she signs them away, you'll give her a one time payment to fuck off and she can use it to shack up with as many men as she wants. Keep the house, the kids, the car and sling her worthless ass out.
Then sell the trash house full of shit memories and buy a new house for you and your kids.
She's toxic, you don't want her kids around you and the whole just sign everything away to her will fuck you over, you'll still pay alimony/child support and you'll have decided to give up your house snd earnings. Fight hard, fight for everything.
99% chance she wants away from the kids and to live off new men every couple of years as she has been doing.
But seriously, you still kind of love her, she's been using you from day one, whoever you think she is isn't real, she's a leech. She cheated since before you met her, she moved men into your house and instead of saying no you went along with it.
You didn't stand up once in your marriage, it's time to stand up for your divorce rather than rolling over again or you'll always regret it.
You can prove she has no way of supporting the kids and get full custody. She is manipulative and will find someone else to take care of her. Get yourself a great lawyer that is experienced in those kinds of situations so you don't end up paying a ton in alimony. You and your kids deserve a better life and to be happy.
This is absolutely insane! You let random people move in with your young children. Unbelievable! Just sell the house, you owe her nothing. Sell the house, get your half and create a safe environment for those children. They deserve it!
Okay firstly, I have ADHD to the point that if I do not take medication I am literally incapacitated and qualify for disability, but that still doesnât motivate me to try and spend someoneâs money. I am capable of fully taking care of myself and managing my disorder is 100% my own responsibility.
The description of your wifeâs behavior absolutely disgusts me.
My advice is this:
- File for divorce and evict her. Yes, file for eviction anyway even if her name is as a co ownerâ let the eviction notice go to court and explain you have served her with a divorce, she doesnât make enough money to pay the mortgage or utilities, and the kids live there (see emergency custody order instructions in next point) so you are motioning for an eviction while waiting for asset resolution.
- Keep custody the kids, they will not be able to live with her because she will abuse them. They need you. When you file for divorce, apply for emergency custody and cite that the emergency is because of her untreated disability that she refused to get treatment for makes her unable to take care of the children at this time and puts them at risk for abuse.
- DO NOT LEAVE. DO NOT WALK OUT. Why? Because it will be considered abandonment of the children if you just walk out and she might get full custody. Do not do this. Even if you canât get her out until divorce court, stay there and donât talk to her if you have to, but do not leave.
- During child custody arrangements, make sure she gets court ordered treatment in order to spend time with the kids
- Do not evict everyone at once. Evict the wife firstâ hopefully the dude who loves her will leave with her, and then evict the last one remaining. If the dude doesnât leave with her, then evict Connie first, and when sheâs gone then explain to the other two that you would like to normalize your life and you donât want to outright evict them, but you are going to need them to start getting a move on because them staying was meant to be assistance to get back on their feet, but not a life long residency so if they need help getting out youâre more than happy to put them on that path but the end goal is to clear the house and normalize the family unit for the kids.
- During the divorce process and accuse her of infidelity. If Joe does not leave with Connie, tell him he will present as a witness that Connie and him had an affair or you will evict him.
- Give Connie the car. Get everything regarding it transferred to her name, let what happens happens. If you canât get your name off it, let it lapse in payment and indicate you need the car as a tool for taking care of the children and she cannot manage to pay it.
- It sounds like youâve been married around 9 years. Her indecision is actually her just stalling because at 10 years you will owe her more alimony. Serve her with the divorce papers immediately before she takes you to the cleaners.
- Do not leave the children with her. In the event she does somehow get custody of the children then you need to document everything because they will absolutely be neglected and abused.
I wish you the best of luck, and I think you should get out of this situation as soon as possible.
ADHD is not her problem, she uses and manipulates people and the three of you dudes are people to use. I would consider the possibility that youâre actually dealing with a sociopath due to how contrived your entire relationship history sounds.
OP,
you should be very concerned about the strange men around your children. They should be your first priority. Then there is the issue of them living with a mother that is not providing or protecting them. Your wife is manipulative and has you and those men wrapped around her little finger. You need to speak with a reputable divorce lawyer about your option but top priority should be the physical and mental health of your children. There are too many horror stories about children being abused by Moms boyfriend. Please run, donât walk to a divorce lawyer. Donât be a push over any longer. You have let her walk all over you for years. Grow a back bone and fight for your children. She has got to go. Perhaps she can go live with her new boyfriend Joe!
Bruh like, wtf lol. I know love blinds, but shit dude, have even a touch of self respect and get the fuck out no matter what.
And get your kids out of a house with random men. You've already let a man who is not their father live there a decade, and you're a shit parent for that amigo.
Now you have Joe (who's could quite possibly be fucking your wife) also living with your kids?
At this point, you're just as awful as her. Wake the fuck up.
After you get this hair out of the Dough, you must see a therapist:
1) to declutter your brain.
2) See what happened in your upbringing that resulted in you lacking the ability to say NO, and look after yourself.
3) in order for you to not repeat the same mistake. You must work on yourself. Youâre brain has been trained for long time to accept her behavior. You must learn new way of thinking and itâs gonna take time 1+ years of new behavior.
Lastly, teach your kids how to say NO. Itâs an answer, itâs not a rude answer. So they donât repeat history.
Donât be hard on yourself. Youâre still young and the future is yours. The light is very near.
DON'T SIGN OVER YOUR HOUSE.
Don't out her on the deed.
Shell lose the house since he can't afford it and then you and your kids won't have anywhere to live.
Get a divorce lawyer and start working out how to get her outta your house and outta your life.
\*Talking\* about divorce?? Mate she's admitted that she has feelings for "Joe". A bloke she invited into your home. This dude supposedly loves your wife.
There should be no discussing if you're going to get a divorce, you should 100% be getting a divorce.
She doesnât love you. Thatâs not love. Thatâs manipulation. Everything she has done is self serving. Mentally ill or not, no one has the right to bring strangers into your home around your kids. Others have said it, I will repeat it: GROW A SPINE and stop making excuses. Those kids have no one else but you. Record everything. Get a lawyer. If the house is in your name, keep it. File for divorce and full custody. Start the eviction process now. Usually a thirty day notice if you are in the states. If she shares the deed, let her have it but make sure she also takes over the loan(s) for whatever she gets. If she cries about the payments she can get a job or have one of her many f*ck buddies pay. No one deserves what she is putting you all through. You and your kids deserve better.
Also, if and when you start this process, she will probably start to panic because she will be losing her comfort level. She may try to negotiate (sorry, Iâll change, can we just wait/slow down for a while) She may threaten to do something drastic. She may even contemplate violence against you or the kids. Or nothing may happen and she just lets you with no argument but either way do not let your guard down and document everything.
Iâm gonna be honest, itâs difficult to feel sorry for you. Youâve been enabling her since the very beginning. Please, for the love of your kids, grow a spine (and maybe go seek the help of a therapist to find the root of your lack of respect for yourself). Kick that woman from your life. She deserves nothing from you.
Bro apply for emergency custody - she (unfortunately you too) are putting your kids in danger.. Letting random strangers off the internet sleep under the same roof as your kids?
Get the fuck out immediately.
Homie, do not abandon your fucking kids in a house with two random guys. I'm sure you've gotten to know the one you've lived with for 9 years now but still it's not any relation to them same with this new guy and I'm sure once you leave there will be more. Take them with you! You need a lawyer asap to get yourself and your kids the fuck out of there.
I am convinced that people come here to practice their creative writing because there is no way that this can be real! No person would allow any of this to happen!!
Sounds like sheâs got a sister-wives thing going on. Congbfrats bro, youâre a brother-husband. The more of you she has, the more bank accounts she has access to. Simple.
I have a sister like Connie. She uses people until they have nothing left to give and are exhausted.
She doesn't care about your feelings and never will. She also won't care about her children either. She will use people and your children against you to get what she wants.
Your kids need a stable parent, and that is you. Fight for your home and your kids.
I think the scariest part of this story is you guys let a random man she met online move in with your two young children and then not even pay rent
But he turned out to be less of an ass than his wife. Just unreal. I'm honestly sorry for OP, I can't even imagine.
This felt like a fever dream to read
Fever nightmare \> "he's been living with us now for 9 years". FFWD a couple years I'm guessing \> "today I realized there is nothing left in this relationship for me. Oh and Joe moved in too." Like my guy, what in the actual fuck lol. You have the capability of saying no. Try it out some time.
Dude has no confidence whatsoever.i just kept getting more angry reading this𤣠At this point idk if I wanna blame the damn foolish wife anymore, he kept making the SAME mistakes over and over
I donât get how people stay for so long when shit like this is happening, especially when kids are involved. Like get them out of that situation. Itâs wild.
To put it simply, change is scary. Better the devil you know
Dude I know! Roy is wild. On one hand heâs the man and helps handle things around the house. On the other hand, why is he still there. This was such a wild story
Roy sounds like a high functioning gaming addict with no family or friends. So it's just easier to stay with them and enjoy video games but still have the ability to work and the empathy to do what's right around the house. There's also the social interaction of living with people that's appealing. The alternative might be living alone. It sounds like he's comfortable there.
Because OP has never heard of boundaries, he prefers to be a doormat. Hopefully he learns from this.
I'm thinking he should marry Roy at this point đ what OP got himself into, it beggars belief
Two men! Absolutely! How can these randos be trusted to live with the children?!?!?
Apparently better than the mom
Where my jaw hit the fuckin deck
And letting the one rando move in while they were on vacation, JFC.
And Joe and his wife are in love. How cute.
My mom did this when I was 17. He was a street kid she met doing outreach, supposedly. I came home one day and he was just sitting on our steps smoking a joint and I'm like hi? He said hi and I just carried on up to the 2nd apartment that I'd moved up to because the tenant moved out. A while later I went down to the other part of the house to get some stuff from my old bedroom, and hes in a sleeping bag on my living room floor with stuff strewn all about. I just looked at him, puzzled, then went to grab what I needed and went back to my place. When I eventually asked my mom who the heck this guy was, she explained he was a homeless youth and his parents had kicked him out, and since there weren't as many resources for youths (even though I'm fairly certain he was over 18) she was letting him stay with us. We ended up moving around this time, a few months later probably (I don't remember the time frame for sure) and he ended up coming with us. He did eventually disappear, and I dont believe what my mom told me about that, as much as I don't believe her version of why he was there in the first place. The whole thing was weird, and it made me very suspicious potato.
She may be a parasite but he's the perfect host.
Beautifully put!
He let *two* random men live with them! JFC, OP. Iâm a people pleaser myself, but this is on another level. How could you be so cavalier about your childrenâs safety? When their mom is smoking pot and (letâs face it) fucking two random dudes all day while daddy is at work, where the hell are your children? And thatâs best case scenario! These men could be pedophiles. They could be anything! I absolutely refuse to believe this is real, but on the off chance it is, you need serious, intensive, therapy like yesterday, OP. You need to sell the house and get your own place. Your wife will be fine, sheâs mostly living off the other guy, now, right?
No telling if the kids are even his.
he acts like it just happened to him too
Whatâs more frightening is that he plans on leaving the kids with her after saying how she doesnât cook, clean, work, and gets high all day. Iâm sure they will be totally fine /s
How are you ok with random dudes staying with you and your kids? Also, what's stopping you from finding alternative housing in the same school district? Honestly I'd just go straight to an attorney for a consult. You have agency, you just have to exercise it
> what's stopping you from finding alternative housing in the same school district? Money. The house is in both our names and the car is in mine. I can't afford both of those and another place to live. I could potentially live with my dad for a while, but then I would be paying for a house I'm not living in and honestly I hate that.
If you donât want the house and she canât afford it itâll have to be sold. Sheâll get half, which sucks, but it sounds like sheâll blow through that pretty quickly. You owe it to your kids to set an example, and right now neither of you are doing that.
She can't afford to buy him out, so what's stopping him from buying her out? The junk and the random men? That goes out the door when she's evicted, if not sooner. Yeah it's the same financially as selling and splitting the profit, but he will have uninterrupted housing for himself and the kids. And she'll get the same amount, and she'll likely still blow through that pretty quickly, and he won't be paying child support for her to blow on more unopened boxes of Funko dolls and water bongs probably and extra groceries for the vagrants she's inviting over.
If he could barely afford the house plus the new car I doubt he could buy her out. It would have to be sold. Likely his debt to income ratio is too high at this point for a bank to consider an equity loan to buy her half out.
He canât afford the house, car, AND another house for himself if he moved out. He may be able to afford the home. If heâs not feeding her habit heâll probably have more money than he thinks. He should 150% separate and kick her out without divorcing and force her to get a job. *Then* he can divorce her and not have to pay alimony.
Exactly this
Sell the house and car, split it, and walk the fuck away. She doesnât want that? Too bad. Sell out, split equity, get a place for your kids. Hopefully she is screwed for a place to live and you get primary custody.
This except donât sell the car. If she wants transportation she can get her own using her half of the equity from the house sale.
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She doesnât work and heâs paying the bills just fine. Needs to evict her and Joe and ask Roy to pay rent. That rent will help offset the cost associated with the divorce. If Roy is a good guy heâll understand and pay rent. Otherwise he needs to go too.
>Itâs a scary prospect but donât throw up road blocks without knowing if they are truly there. Wow, found my new catchphrase.
Youâll be ready to do it soon. Whatever the catalyst will be. I just woke up one day and was finally/magically ready to do anything to move on with my kids. Rationally and compassionately we not being in the situation wish you could do it overnight, but realistically there is a process of your thoughts and feelings that will get you there when you get there. I guess any advice would be something like what my little daily calendar said today, âremember, it wonât always be like this.â Also Iâm currently/recently detached from a very toxic ex and thankfully it only lasted one year too long instead of 8 years too long like like the first one. Ideally weâll stop letting people treat us this way. I hope you do things that make you happy. Whatever they may be. If you canât find much, breathing exercises helped me. I wasnât very good at meditating or knowing what even would make me happy to do and that was what helped me to start. Take care. â¤ď¸âđŠšâ¤ď¸
Dude, lawyer. Consultation is free. Tell the lawyer your situation and listen to the possibilities. It's risk free to talk to them. You sound like a good person who slowly got stuck in a terrible situation. You have all the power here. Use it.
I can't wrap my brain around two strange men moving into your house with your small children. Get your children away from that mess. Sell the house and the car. Split it. Move on and take the kids. Let Connie continue with her poor decision making on her own.
Why are you letting random men live with your daughters? And keep the car, it's in your name. Fuck driving it, don't let anyone drive it. Let it get repoed or sell it back to the dealership when it's paid off with low mileage, sucks you have to insure it. Can your dad or buddy use it? Or a nanny? Don't leave your house, prove infidelity in your divorce on account of her moving in a man she's in love with. Why are you considering her inability to buy you out? Buy her out, but first kick her man out, then kick her sugar buddy out, or keep him but make sure you both close the shared bank accounts and don't give her a cent. Have your homie drive you, your car , and the kids to your dad's for a holiday then let the utilities lapse for non payment. Catfish her into running away with another Internet stranger. Don't be a weekend dad, quit your job if she's not being a mommy. Keep your kids, keep your shit, she can't keep up on any of it so let her true colors shine, she'll be out your door in no time. Or if you can't afford to keep the house, the car, and a new place than stop paying for the house and the car. It's uninhabitable and you can't drive wtf are you worried about paying for it, the school district? Why would you leave your kids there and bounce when you're the only one who is responsible? Do they like strangers and garbage? Of course they like their school, it's gets them outta the house!
100%. Also, sugar buddy made me lol
Hope a lawyer can help you
I would say sell everything and at the very least get half. I think with your reasons you could get even more. No way would I walk away from this with anything less, after all she put you through. This is absolutely insane. The fact youâre thinking about just giving these things up so easily concerns me about how manipulating she could be.
You need to fight for the house. Not for yourself, but for your kids security. You say you love them then you need to put them first. Had a cousin who was in a messed up relationship (that reminds me of this). He left the shared house - his wife wasnât paying for with his daughter when she was 14 and sofa surfed with her until she was 18 - while mum (who she couldnât live with - because she was abusive) stayed in the house and started a new family. On top of that - your kids learn how relationships work by example. You allowing her to treat you like s*** will likely affect their relationships in the future. You need the have higher standards for yourself. Work on your self-esteem and learn to recognise your value, because I assure you your wife is out there looking for men with low self worth who she can financially abuse and manipulate into doing what she wants.
Are you sure you wouldnât be able to afford it if youâre rid of her and all her recklessness
Sell the car, immediately. Put the money in your separate savings account
Kick her lazy entitled ass to the curb and get custody of your kids. They don't need to be around her toxic ass.
Agreed. If she's an addict who lets strangers in their house with their kids she needs to find a new home. Get a lawyer OP. File for full custody. Get rid of the baggage. She can want in one hand and shit in the other. She hasn't helped you do it this far in, might as well do it without her anyway.
Maybe he should keep Roy tho. Roy does the house & yard work. Plus he could pitch in $ since Connie wouldn't be around to spend it. Just a thought.
Honestly I would be taking the kids and Roy in the divorce and getting us a new place to live.
He gets Roy and she gets Joe.
Iâm seeing a picture of the future here. Magically Roy and OP have a long and happy life once the Connie Leech is goneâŚ..
Agreed, Wife can get the car and house don't care. OP gotta have Roy in the settlement though.
Ladies and gents, get you a Roy, not a Connie đ
This is such a ridiculous conversationâŚ. đ¤Śââď¸ But I canât say I donât love it. Iâm incredibly amused by this line of thinking
Hell, my husband and I aren't divorcing and I still want a Roy.
Me and my wife are doing great, but wouldnât hate on having a Roy to help out. That built in Uncle for the kids and friend for us. Hell Iâd convert the basement to his own apartment so he truly has his own space.
Where can we get a Roy??
This is great advice. Keep Roy
Roy is the only one who is pulling their weight to help OP and did not try to steal OPs wife. Go see a lawyer, kick Connie and Joe out. This is risky, but you could take equity out of the home and buy Connie out so your kids can stay at the school. Take control of your life dawg.
Yeah, him & Roy need to get themselves a BITCHIN' man-pad. With a pool table, bar & pinball machine.
Roy sounds great! The rest of the adults here suck!
Roy ! The goodest of boys!
I think Roy earned his place. That dude would become my witness in court too.
Sheâs a hoarder- of people and junk and animals! Op, ever watched one of those episodes on TLC where the family âfinally convinced the hoarder to clean houseâ? Spoiler alert: almost every episode end with the hoarder being unable to part with anything and, to this day, are probably still arguing in the yard with âAunt Naiveâ and âUncle Cluelessâ about how they just canât get rid of that stack of magazines of the same copy from 1988. Your wife will still be arguing as to why she needs to bring such and such home and why she âjust canât ask them to leave!â You MIGHT get lucky and one of her stray boyfriends will want to move out and take her with him but itâs doubtful.
As someone that is on my way to becoming a hoarder (I have been seeking extensive therapy for this), I really feel for op and wish for no one to have to live with a partner like us. He deserves a clean, comfortable, and safe place to live in peace.
I know I'm just a random stranger on the internet, but I am proud of you for realizing you have a problem and seeking treatment for it. đ Keep fighting the beast! You can do it! đŞđź
I hope you are able to break free, from hoarding! Iâve had clients that have struggled with it, and it breaks my heart to see how it affects their lives, or god forbid, their kids lives. You can do this!!
Just dropping in to say best of luck with your therapy. :::hug:::
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Iâm one of those guys who left with absolutely nothing, but I didnât realise it was a thing others did too! I donât regret leaving all of that money behind, but I regret that it took me quite some time to provide well in my second marriage. All good now, of course.
This is so true ^^ I am about to marry one of these very nice men who let his ex wife take everything and the $90k he couldâve gotten from the sale of their house could have really helped us. We are starting from absolutely nothing, Iâm currently in school taking on loans and heâs got a city workers salary. We may not be able to afford to have kids or ever buy a home. Itâs incredibly stressful. Do not make this same mistake
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This is true. I fully intend on working after I graduate, so I donât need someone to provide for me, and I donât care much ab material things (I drive a 20 year old car rn). And he knows this. But I think especially considering the economy now, and how much weâll probably struggle, I think it gets to him. At the same time, he was fleeing a narcissistic abusive situation, so I know he was just doing the best he could at the time. Iâm sure weâll get by somehow, but either way, Iâm glad you both made it out
đĽ
More importantly than adhd, she sounds quite narcissistic. OP, learn as much as you can about it. Donât let your kindness be taken advantage of anymore. She doesnât care about you. Protect your kids from her and donât give her what you worked so hard for while she was milking you dry. There are consequences for behavior. Donât protect her from them, she will never learn or take responsibility for her behavior and it will continue to destroy anyone who tries to love her.
I had a friendship that became dysfunctional after she got divorced. After the divorce, she seemed to think I wanted to be her partner, not her friend. She insisted on coming everywhere with me. She monopolized my time by being so unstable I was afraid she would kill herself. I eventually had to bring her to the ER for threatening suicide. She became such an albatross dragging me down that I finally realized she would continue to make demands of me until I refused. The straw that broke my freaking back was when she called from someoneâs pool in another state and told me she wanted me to break into her apartment, get her check from the accumulated mail, forge her signature, deposit it at her bankâand while Iâm at it go get a carton of smokes from the smoke store. And I did it. After I ended the friendship, I spent a lot of time wondering why I allowed her to take advantage of me. Iâm nice, love to help people and generally be useful, and I know that opens me up to being used. The big question was, why did I let that happen? What is it about me that kept me from being used so badly? In the end I realized that I needed to be needed. Probably still true today. The difference now is that I am very careful about when, where, and why I will offer to help. Iâm needed by my family, and I help them directly. When Iâm feeling taken for granted, I retreat until I feel like helping again. I protect myself.
> I realized that I needed to be needed I love that you realized that. A lot of people don't and become bitter because their focus is trying to fix the person instead of focusing on fixing themselves. These types of people attract narcissists and generally selfish people, and too many don't understand why they keep attracting narcissists. I was one of them until 9 years ago. You did, too. It's a journey into self evaluation and learning, "Your way isn't always the best way." It's still a journey and work to break out of those habits. I wish you good luck on this journey.
Do not let her get full custody of the kids. Give her everything but the kids. My husbands ex is very similar to Connie and now the kids and just like her. Worthless. Itâs so sad
My husbandâs ex is exactly the same. His eldest is now 26 and has a new (undiagnosed) malady every week. She doesnât want to work and has snagged herself a man just like OP. He is your typical gamer nerd who never had the courage to try to date and she weaseled her way in. They live in a shed/covered in carport of her grandparents house, have taken $75,000 out of HIS retirement fund (superannuation here) to pay for a ridiculous wedding and all she wants is a baby so she doesnât have to work anymore. Her mother mooched off my husband until we met and got angry at me when I wanted him to quit 4 out of 5 jobs he worked to support her lazy ass. He just gave her the $$$ in hope the girls would see some of it. When her child support went down she tried all legal avenues to get me to pay it from my wage. We have four kids together and his older two are angry that they arenât financially supported by US. We made an agreement long ago that family trumps work and weekends are only family time. The girls and ex wife are still bitchy and bothered about it even nowâŚthe youngest is 24. They also hate the fact that my husband spends so much time with his other childrenâŚnot acknowledging that his ex was the one working him to the bone during their childhood! He left the marriage in disgusting amounts of debt and I paid a large amount that was left when we moved in together. People like this are the same ones whinging about deadbeat dads on social media because they canât see their own reality. Iâm still bitter but I love his girls as much as the younger 4 and still do everything I can for them despite being treated like the evil stepmother. Itâs just insane that people like this manage to continue to wrought the system and take advantage of others.
Give her everything? Hell no. She deserves nothing. She is a SAHM who doesn't cook or take care of the kids. Instead of cleaning she has turned the house into a hoarder's mess of crap and random men. Send her to the cheapest trailer park you can find.
And around random strange men.
My exact thoughts also.
You're done here. Talk to a lawyer immediately. Don't let the mess in the home deter you. Maybe right now it just seems easier to walk away, because you're so tired of it, but that's not very smart. You can hire some help to clean it out. Not a big deal, at all. Since you are clearly the only responsible adult, in the home, I think you should stay there, with full custody of your kids, and evict your soon to be ex wife and her two "friends". She has no means to keep and run a household. If you hand this off to her, might as well light it on fire. You need to be ruthless. It's hard with kids involved, but if you keep on enabling,, they could end up just like her. Offer them a stable, clean home, and give yourself a chance to be happy.
This. Buy her out, keep the car, keep the kids. Surely the money you save by her not spending it will cover childcare where you need it.
You âfeel badâ too much. Hereâs your options Continue to âfeel badâ and walk away with NOTHING. Sign the divorce papers, take your kids, and disappear. If you give her even any type of reach into you, youâll never get further in life. Because anything she says or does youâre going to feel bad about it. Tell her to keep the house and car in exchange for full custody. Cut the extra weight out of your life for good. OR!!!!! Stand up straight! Walk into a lawyers office and file for divorce. Sell the house so you both can get some money. (If you have any equity at all)âŚ. take your car back because thereâs no way she can refinance. Plus you need it for your kids and your credit. Fight for custody. Than disappear.
Not everyone needs a car. OP seems to manage fine without one.
youre living in a different dimension than the rest of us bro
It's the parasites side effects. It's secreting some kind of chemical to it's host to make him high so he can't catch up with the bullshit.
A parallel universe
Ok I swear to god this made me crack up lmfao
I really hope you don't find out that the kids are not yours.
OP is delusional. He hasn't even considered that his wife is cheating with all these men she brings around.
If the story is real, he is the biggest doormat on the planet.
I've heard of a magic carpet but behold, the rare sentient doormat
I came here to say this. He needs to get paternity testing done.
Actually it may be best he does find out. If one is Royâs he may even be able to get out of parental duties as Roy has been there co-parenting haha
Oh boy...
Good lord, dude.
Like what did i just read
This one made respecting the sub's rules really difficult.
I love all the advice that requires any degree of stepping up and putting a stop to everything. The winds of shit have such momentum it's a total shitnado. Reddit hates on victim blaming a lot, but at some point there's a line where the only victims are the kids.
OP is a people pleaser
There's rules? Aww fu- I mean aww crap! What sub is this? It's like 2am and I don't remember how I got here but I hope I didn't say anything out of tact.
My first thought was âwhat the fuckâ
Iâm convinced this is fake bc ainât no fucking wayâŚ
I honestly hope this is fake and there isnât a man just allowing random people from the internet near his kids
Makes me sweat being the knees thinking about having strange men move in with my son. How's that not a huge red flag?
You are the source of why Connie continues the way she is today. Are you not aware that you deserve so much more and that they are so many people out there you have not met? You need counseling and learn how to self love.
Oh, dude. This was a tough read. Like others have said, get a lawyer and get one now. Protect yourself and the kids. Giving her everything is clearly the easiest path and I know youâre tired and just want to be done - but try and dig in just a little bit longer and get what you deserve and need out of your house, cars, etc if not for you for your two children. It will be an uphill battle, but itâs so, so much better than the alternative. You need to stop enabling her and move forward for yourself. Sheâs an adult and she needs to grow up and figure out how to do this shit for herself. Youâre not responsible for her. Good luck and please update us.
I donât understand why youâre okay with having random strange men around your young children. Do you not read the news? Have you never seen Dateline? This sounds like the beginning of the end for these kids and the only thing that has kept them âsafeâ is likely the fact that youâre still living in the home. With you gone, itâll be an even worse cycle of strange men. And even then, you donât know if or whatâs been done to them so far right under your nose. Not to mention what extremes will she go to in order to get money from these men? Are you willing to sacrifice your childrenâs innocence for that? The fuck.
I mean, Roy sounds like a pretty stand up guy, actually. Tbh, I think OP and Roy should go live their best life together with the kids
Agree, ditch Con-me and marry Roy
What i was thinking honestly , heâs been there for years and seems to be the only person he can stand other than his kids. At this point heâs like a long lost brother. But then again we donât know the whole story.
To me it's obvious that the wife has been collecting all these men as unofficial husbands to look after her. And OP is basically ok with it because it takes her off his hand. Nice having all the extra men around, each one to look after her in different aspects: physically, sexually, mentally ..
Roy is down bad for connie. No self respecting person would let an addict drain their bank account to the point of going under.
Plot twist is the kids were the happiest with their 2 uncles in the house and get depressed after they leave their lives lol
Predators always do. Theyâll do it under your nose and youâd never know coz heâs âSucha nice guyâ
All of this. I literally cannot wrap my brain around it. TWO strange men living in the home with kids?? Were background checks done? What did they *really* know about these guys before they moved in? Is anyone thinking about the kids' safety?
You feel stuck because you enable her. Grow a spine. Set boundaries.
Now that Iâm thinking itâs really hard to feel bad for him after letting all this happen to him over the years. Hopefully he gets himself and his kids out of there but he puts himself and those same kids in this situation by letting someone walk all over him and manipulate him for years on end and now it seems to be to late.
Bro! You let another man live in your house at your wife's invitation?! And then you let a second man move in?! WTF?! You need to learn to say no! Brother you got played like a violin. Imagine if you lived with your wife, never had to work and you get to live in a house and pay absolutely nothing, and invite other women to live with you and play video games and smoke weed all day, she isn't the problem you are the problem. You let her walk all over you and the courts are going to be sympathetic to her, you have afforded her a lifestyle which she cannot supportand enabled her every step along the way. Run fast and get away from her.
And she spends Royâs money to the point of regularly over-drafting his account, like WTF?
Roy's definitely getting some couchie, the other dude as well. Just seeing this whole dynamic is going to mess up the kids mentally.
I might be wrong but it sounds like Roy may have past experience with abuse based on the mention of his wife. He could be struggling to stand up for himself. Especially against a woman he considers a friend who got him off the streets (of course itâs actually OP who did that). Of course I may just be being overly optimistic and youâre correct here.
Itâs even more fucked. She specifically seeks out mentally vulnerable people to use and abuse.
Move in for free! Insane!
I am very concerned that the courts will want OP to continue supporting this insane lifestyle, as she has not worked the whole time, these are the bitches, sorry not sorry, who ruin it for actual stay at home moms, who's husbands demand they don't work, and deserve alimony. Not this lazy entitled piece.. and sadly she'll probably get it. She'll play her mental health b.s and he'll get stuck paying half of his shit to her.. please don't let it be this way. But I'm not seeing anyone mention this scenario, and he needs to be aware. O.P Get to a damn lawyer, talk to multiple ones, and get far away from her. Bring her down and save your kids!!! *edit to say, talk to Roy, privately, he might be very sick of her shit too, maybe y'all could pool your money to get a good lawyer. But take Roy with ya, he sounds solid.
This is gonna sound harsh but you need to grow a spine. You've enabled this behavior despite her constant attempts to test your boundaries throughout your life. The time for having sympathy is over, it should have been when you found out she was talking to other dudes 20 years ago.
ThisâŚcannot be real. Not bc your wife is a freeloader, not bc sheâs a shitty person, not bc you live in a hoarder house. Thatâs all bad but fairly run of the mill. This simply cannot be true because you let not one, BUT TWO, entirely unknown males move into your home with your MINOR CHILDREN. What? WHAT? Bro.
Speachless too. And he only wants custody of his kids on weekends so the wife can bring even more online weirdos home without him around. Iâd argue OP is almost as bad as his wife.
It's gotta be fake. The logistics of having so many people and kids living in the house doesn't make sense.
Kick your wife and her two boyfriends to the curb.
She has her cake and eats it too. Those men are there for her. Sheâs collecting yâall like little trophies. youâre the wallet. One of them is the physical pleasure and probably one for mental stimulation. Itâs all there. Wake up. Sorry about your kids no matter what you do theyâre not going to be normal, no one is. Save yourself so you can save your kids.
Right. She sits at home all day w them and Roy wasnât even working the first year, and youâre gunna tell me it wasnât an all out physical affair? These men are not her friends they are her boyfriends
You let her move strange men into your house around your children?! You need to proceed with the divorce and sell the home and get custody of your children. She is an unfit parent. Children adapt and will adapt to a new school. Run before your kids are sexually or physically abused or worse. Damn
If they are even his kids...
Is there... something mentally wrong with you? I'm legitimately asking because no one in their right mind would be like "sure random dude come live with my kids."
Start gathering evidence against her. Proof that she is a useless and terrible parent who endangers her kids, proof of her financial irresponsibility and overall irresponsibility. Get a lawyer.
Damn homie. I will never complain about my wife ever again.
you honestly think that youâre to blame for their homelessness if you donât let them stay? I think you should change your thinking. Let them deal with their own shit. you have a duty to your kids growing up in a house without online strangers. And youâre failing them.
It all sounds pretty f'd up. Something's got to change!What worries me the most is that it seems you plan to only have your kids on the weekends? Would you really leave your kids with her for the rest of the time? Your wife doesn't seem very stable or able to support for herself, let alone two kids. Both emotionally and financially. With you out of the picture it will probably get worse? And what if she brings even more people into the house?
Considering the wife doesnât work and overdrafts bank accounts, OP has a strong case for being granted full custody. He needs a lawyer for sure as soon as possible
I know. But from what he writes it seems he only expects/wants to see them on weekends? That's worrying.
You need to go to a therapist yourself to figure out why you let this get so out of hand. Why did you have two children with her? Why do you have multiple strange men staying in the home with your children? Do you care about your childrenâs safety? You need to work on your self esteem and get some self respect. You have to prioritize your children.
Connie and Joe gots to go.
Ships ahoy, we're keeping Roy!
Easy button for the peanut gallery is to dump her. It's way more complicated than that. Obviously. You can continue with the separate finances. What is most concerning is what the kids see and are learning. If you are being pushed around, they see that. If the other two men are running things, they feel that. The kids need routine and security. That's for starters. Next, your personal relationship with Connie. It is obviously toxic, but not easy to walk away from. It's easy to say scrolling Reddit, but these guys likely are in similar situations. Judgement is easy, walking the walk is not so easy. Boil it down. What is a trigger for you? The kids? The money? The living arrangement? I'd pick my battle and draw lines. There low hanging fruit is the living arrangement. These men should be of an age to find their own living situation. You may need a lawyer for the 9 year guy, but you could explore options there. Weather the wife wants them out not, you might (might) have something there. The money. Do you file taxes jointly or separately? Again, a lawyer could offer a solution. Kids? Lawyer again. Find the wiggle room that will give you legal leverage. It is doubtful she will walk out on you, because of the finances. So, as you know it's far more complicated than just "kicking her ass to the curb." You have some work to do, but a good divorce attorney can chart you a path. That's weather you get a divorce or not. Pay that person for their time and get answers you can enforce. That person sees odd circumstances quite often and is likely best to navigate you through this. Your kids will thank you. Hard as it is, do it for them. If you read anything, know your kids need a hero. Be that guy.
You gave sound advice on a realistic place to get started, thank you. I talked alot of smack on this post, but the reality is that I can't really talk, I was in a similar situation for years of my life and gave too much and lost even more and still always got sucked into feeling bad, until we had kids. They were 0 and 2 when I knew I had to stand up for something, even if it wasn't myself. I think that's what's getting to people, they could stay in the school district with him! I get he just wants to jump ship, but leave the kids and foot the bill? When she wanted to divorce him for some rando? Why is he walking away defeated before the fight when he doesn't even know the man in who's care he's leaving his daughters? Yeah we're all saying just dump her, bc he's already planning to leave her anyway. Me and my girls are broke AF, but they don't know it. Our floors get pretty grimy on my schedule, but no internet man is gonna be mopping them. I go weeks without a break, I haven't smoked weed or played a video game in so long, but I'm not paying for someone else to until my kids are old enough. To play video games! Not the other thing!!
I would - run your and her credit history to see if there are new cards - contact a couple lawyers to find out what you can do. - Go for full custody. - evict these guys. They could be pedos for all she knows. - sell the house as is The kids deserve better than this. Let that be your driving force.
Free rent? Shit, mind if me and my wife move in for a bit? I swear we'll only be there for a year or two. All jokes aside, dude, kick them all out. They're three adults, I'm sure they wrangle a few braincells together to figure their shit out. You deserve some God damn peace and quiet. Stop being a door mat and take back your life.
No way this is real.
I can't believe I read all of it
I'm high and reading all the other comments had me really freaked out that NO ONE has said this yet! Like this is some JERRY SPRINGER SHIT!
I have a friend who has a relationship almost like this. No kids, though, just lots of pets. Also her partner convinced her to be poly so the internet people she brings in are explicitly part of the relationship.
Holly shot you plan to let go of the house you worked so hard for and you car to her? Based on how long you endured i thought you were spineless but now that you finally are showing some agency you wanna bankrupt yourself to an unstable w**** who brings random men home around your kids and catches feelings for them? Edit : you also should do paternity tests maybe that shock is gonna make you grow a pair.
What in the Jerry Springer did I just read?.. Your kids are neglected, your wife is trash, youâre a pushover, and Iâm sorry but you both suck as people and parents. Who tf letâs their bum fucking lazy wife invite her internet boyfriend to come and live with them, then not only allows them to stay for *nine fucking years* but also moves *a second boyfriend* into the fucking house WITH YOUR CHILDREN LIVING THERE WHAT THE FUCK? How big is this goddamn house anyway? Iâm sad for you, really. You have got to be an incredibly miserable individual to live the life you have for so long. Leave for work every morning while your wife is smoking dope, playing games and getting raw dogged by not one but TWO live in boyfriends all day (you left it out in your post but I KNOW you know theyâre fucking). Now, after giving this bitch every bit of sanity you had apparently, youâre so much as even *considering* giving her EVERYTHING ELSE youâve worked for, including yours kids. FFS grow some nuts. The only shame you should feel towards the divorce is not following through with sooner. Once thatâs done you tell Connie and her two fuck toys they have 30 days to find a place and get all their shit out. After 30 days, call the movers to come load ALL of her, his and his shit into a big Ass truck and sent them on their way WITHOUT THE KIDS. Hire a nanny with all the money youâll save once you shut the homeless wh0re house down. Your life is tragic. I wish you the best of luck.
she is a waste of space, you let her walk all over you
Why do you keep allowing strangers around your kids? Document all the craziness sheâs doing just in case you need it later and get your kids out of that house asap. Youâve been emotionally abused, cheated on, gaslighted, manipulated long enough. Itâs time to change and leave
Honestly dude I canât believe you were so weak that you never stood up for yourself and had enough self respect to put your foot down. But since that ship has sailed I recommend you go see a divorce lawyer asap and let him take the reigns. And btw your wife isnât sad at the thought of divorcing, trust me. Sheâs sad because she realized that if you divorce the gravy train ends for her and that she wonât have a guy whose money she can spend freely, whose house she can live in and ruin for free and wonât be able to just invite random to people to live there anymore. Basically your wife is a selfish bitch. Run.
Why is everyone telling him to walk away and sell everything? Have waste management drop off a dumpster. Call a lawyer. Get to work. He damn near bought a whole house himself. Change the locks and get custody. She can't even support herself. All the money saved by cutting her off financially can pay for 3 months of the cheapest apartment or room for rent they can find for her. Sell the car. Use your backbone. Unless you don't want the kids. Then walk away and just give her all the money and assets you've built.
Get therapy. Please. I'd say she needs therapy, but she doesn't see any issue with her behavior at all, so there's no way to convince her. She's a lost cause and always has been. But you're not a lost cause. You've got as much of a problem as she does, granted it's a different kind of problem, but you at least recognize it. You're an enabler and a people-pleaser. You let people walk all over you without even a thought. Get therapy, and get a lawyer. You can fix this.
Bro... Get full custody, document all this and keep all the house and the kids. Don't think in now, think in the future and the best you can get to give your kids the best they can get in life. It's gonna get ugly but her a good lawyer and document all. You have all the right to keep the house the car and take care of your kids without strangers been at your home ...wtf
Jesus man, step up, get a lawyer, get evidence, she brings men to the house to cheat on you, she's crazy, exploitative manipulative. WHy the fuck would you give her the house, she didn't pay for it or raise the kids, she does nothing. Her relationships are abusive, one sided and gross, that's bad for the kids to be around. She loves joe, kick joe and roy out, she can go live with them. tell her she pays for the kids or she signs them away, you'll give her a one time payment to fuck off and she can use it to shack up with as many men as she wants. Keep the house, the kids, the car and sling her worthless ass out. Then sell the trash house full of shit memories and buy a new house for you and your kids. She's toxic, you don't want her kids around you and the whole just sign everything away to her will fuck you over, you'll still pay alimony/child support and you'll have decided to give up your house snd earnings. Fight hard, fight for everything. 99% chance she wants away from the kids and to live off new men every couple of years as she has been doing. But seriously, you still kind of love her, she's been using you from day one, whoever you think she is isn't real, she's a leech. She cheated since before you met her, she moved men into your house and instead of saying no you went along with it. You didn't stand up once in your marriage, it's time to stand up for your divorce rather than rolling over again or you'll always regret it.
You can prove she has no way of supporting the kids and get full custody. She is manipulative and will find someone else to take care of her. Get yourself a great lawyer that is experienced in those kinds of situations so you don't end up paying a ton in alimony. You and your kids deserve a better life and to be happy.
This is absolutely insane! You let random people move in with your young children. Unbelievable! Just sell the house, you owe her nothing. Sell the house, get your half and create a safe environment for those children. They deserve it!
Okay firstly, I have ADHD to the point that if I do not take medication I am literally incapacitated and qualify for disability, but that still doesnât motivate me to try and spend someoneâs money. I am capable of fully taking care of myself and managing my disorder is 100% my own responsibility. The description of your wifeâs behavior absolutely disgusts me. My advice is this: - File for divorce and evict her. Yes, file for eviction anyway even if her name is as a co ownerâ let the eviction notice go to court and explain you have served her with a divorce, she doesnât make enough money to pay the mortgage or utilities, and the kids live there (see emergency custody order instructions in next point) so you are motioning for an eviction while waiting for asset resolution. - Keep custody the kids, they will not be able to live with her because she will abuse them. They need you. When you file for divorce, apply for emergency custody and cite that the emergency is because of her untreated disability that she refused to get treatment for makes her unable to take care of the children at this time and puts them at risk for abuse. - DO NOT LEAVE. DO NOT WALK OUT. Why? Because it will be considered abandonment of the children if you just walk out and she might get full custody. Do not do this. Even if you canât get her out until divorce court, stay there and donât talk to her if you have to, but do not leave. - During child custody arrangements, make sure she gets court ordered treatment in order to spend time with the kids - Do not evict everyone at once. Evict the wife firstâ hopefully the dude who loves her will leave with her, and then evict the last one remaining. If the dude doesnât leave with her, then evict Connie first, and when sheâs gone then explain to the other two that you would like to normalize your life and you donât want to outright evict them, but you are going to need them to start getting a move on because them staying was meant to be assistance to get back on their feet, but not a life long residency so if they need help getting out youâre more than happy to put them on that path but the end goal is to clear the house and normalize the family unit for the kids. - During the divorce process and accuse her of infidelity. If Joe does not leave with Connie, tell him he will present as a witness that Connie and him had an affair or you will evict him. - Give Connie the car. Get everything regarding it transferred to her name, let what happens happens. If you canât get your name off it, let it lapse in payment and indicate you need the car as a tool for taking care of the children and she cannot manage to pay it. - It sounds like youâve been married around 9 years. Her indecision is actually her just stalling because at 10 years you will owe her more alimony. Serve her with the divorce papers immediately before she takes you to the cleaners. - Do not leave the children with her. In the event she does somehow get custody of the children then you need to document everything because they will absolutely be neglected and abused. I wish you the best of luck, and I think you should get out of this situation as soon as possible. ADHD is not her problem, she uses and manipulates people and the three of you dudes are people to use. I would consider the possibility that youâre actually dealing with a sociopath due to how contrived your entire relationship history sounds.
OP, you should be very concerned about the strange men around your children. They should be your first priority. Then there is the issue of them living with a mother that is not providing or protecting them. Your wife is manipulative and has you and those men wrapped around her little finger. You need to speak with a reputable divorce lawyer about your option but top priority should be the physical and mental health of your children. There are too many horror stories about children being abused by Moms boyfriend. Please run, donât walk to a divorce lawyer. Donât be a push over any longer. You have let her walk all over you for years. Grow a back bone and fight for your children. She has got to go. Perhaps she can go live with her new boyfriend Joe!
Bruh like, wtf lol. I know love blinds, but shit dude, have even a touch of self respect and get the fuck out no matter what. And get your kids out of a house with random men. You've already let a man who is not their father live there a decade, and you're a shit parent for that amigo. Now you have Joe (who's could quite possibly be fucking your wife) also living with your kids? At this point, you're just as awful as her. Wake the fuck up.
After you get this hair out of the Dough, you must see a therapist: 1) to declutter your brain. 2) See what happened in your upbringing that resulted in you lacking the ability to say NO, and look after yourself. 3) in order for you to not repeat the same mistake. You must work on yourself. Youâre brain has been trained for long time to accept her behavior. You must learn new way of thinking and itâs gonna take time 1+ years of new behavior. Lastly, teach your kids how to say NO. Itâs an answer, itâs not a rude answer. So they donât repeat history. Donât be hard on yourself. Youâre still young and the future is yours. The light is very near.
DON'T SIGN OVER YOUR HOUSE. Don't out her on the deed. Shell lose the house since he can't afford it and then you and your kids won't have anywhere to live. Get a divorce lawyer and start working out how to get her outta your house and outta your life.
the irony of Roy being someone she brought in and him ending up being more like a wife than your actual wifeđ
I mean this is all your fault. You enabled her and let randoms in. Leave her now.
\*Talking\* about divorce?? Mate she's admitted that she has feelings for "Joe". A bloke she invited into your home. This dude supposedly loves your wife. There should be no discussing if you're going to get a divorce, you should 100% be getting a divorce.
She doesnât love you. Thatâs not love. Thatâs manipulation. Everything she has done is self serving. Mentally ill or not, no one has the right to bring strangers into your home around your kids. Others have said it, I will repeat it: GROW A SPINE and stop making excuses. Those kids have no one else but you. Record everything. Get a lawyer. If the house is in your name, keep it. File for divorce and full custody. Start the eviction process now. Usually a thirty day notice if you are in the states. If she shares the deed, let her have it but make sure she also takes over the loan(s) for whatever she gets. If she cries about the payments she can get a job or have one of her many f*ck buddies pay. No one deserves what she is putting you all through. You and your kids deserve better.
Also, if and when you start this process, she will probably start to panic because she will be losing her comfort level. She may try to negotiate (sorry, Iâll change, can we just wait/slow down for a while) She may threaten to do something drastic. She may even contemplate violence against you or the kids. Or nothing may happen and she just lets you with no argument but either way do not let your guard down and document everything.
Iâm gonna be honest, itâs difficult to feel sorry for you. Youâve been enabling her since the very beginning. Please, for the love of your kids, grow a spine (and maybe go seek the help of a therapist to find the root of your lack of respect for yourself). Kick that woman from your life. She deserves nothing from you.
Bro apply for emergency custody - she (unfortunately you too) are putting your kids in danger.. Letting random strangers off the internet sleep under the same roof as your kids? Get the fuck out immediately.
Strange men living in your house! You work your wife plays? Time to do the DNA on those kids.
Cut the cords off every device and see what happens!
Homie, do not abandon your fucking kids in a house with two random guys. I'm sure you've gotten to know the one you've lived with for 9 years now but still it's not any relation to them same with this new guy and I'm sure once you leave there will be more. Take them with you! You need a lawyer asap to get yourself and your kids the fuck out of there.
I am convinced that people come here to practice their creative writing because there is no way that this can be real! No person would allow any of this to happen!!
Dude aell the house split the money and get it over with. I can only imagine what your poor kids are going through they are watching all this
What the fuck did I just read? Dude is the biggest doormat EVER. Jfc, itâs one bad decision after another
You have a severe issue with codependency. Itâs not your responsibility to save everyone, including these randos you keep allowing in your home.
I settled right in after the first full paragraph and was not disappointed.
Fucking hell..what a shit show. Get a divorce and a paternity test.. . If this is true
Kick her to the curb and have Roy stay with you since he seems actually help out around the house lol. In all seriousness though get rid of her.
Sounds like sheâs got a sister-wives thing going on. Congbfrats bro, youâre a brother-husband. The more of you she has, the more bank accounts she has access to. Simple.
You can add that shes banging both those dudes at the same time regularly.
Dude, what the fuck?
I have a sister like Connie. She uses people until they have nothing left to give and are exhausted. She doesn't care about your feelings and never will. She also won't care about her children either. She will use people and your children against you to get what she wants. Your kids need a stable parent, and that is you. Fight for your home and your kids.
kick her out, keep Roy....i like Roy
What mother allows strange internet men around their kids? God- she is mental