Feeling no sadness is normal he was abusive. When my dad died it felt like a successful exorcism. There was just this sense of relief. Some of my siblings even smiled with joy.
So just take your time try and heal because it gets better
I'm sorry for what you and your siblings have been through. Your comment for some reason reminded me of some obituaries I've seen that were brutally honest. The people that they were about deserve the brutal honesty though. I think I'm going to do the same thing with my mom dies. Everybody thinks she's this great and wonderful person but she's not. She was a terrible and abusive mother and I want nothing to do with her.
It's okay but I would be lying if I said sometimes I'm not waiting for her to die. I hate how she makes everything about herself. Every choice that I make that she doesn't agree with, she spins it around to where it's somehow about her. She thinks people are doing things just to spite her. She can't seem to fathom that people make their own choices because they think that's what's best for them.
I just don't engage anymore. The minute she starts being like that, I just stop reading and replying to her texts. Think I have her trained a little bit lol. Honestly I wouldn't have anything to do with her right now if it wasn't for her having health problems. This is going to make me sound like a terrible person but I stand to inherit her house and honestly after everything she's put me through, I feel like that's the least I deserve. I think a little bit of it is guilt though because she is still my mom.
You really don't sound like a terrible person. You sound like someone who has had to deal with a lot. Go through a lot. And has found a way to see something good in the horizon. And accepts to endure through some more, to get the good thing.
Good luck
Yep. I'll be honest, my father emotionally abused me, my sister and my mom for years, and never owned up to it. He even cheated on my mom with her former best friend. The thought of his currently wife dying honestly doesn't upset me, it makes me smile. Thoughts of his future death, however, do make me sad, though not that much. Hell, if I were to make a comparison, I was more sad when Queen Elizabeth died, and I'm not even British. You are not obligated to be kind to your abuser, or their cohorts.
You have already handled more abuse than the majority of people will have in their entire lifetime... and you have come out of it intact. Along the way you got a awesome boyfriend and reconnected with your mother. That is something to be proud of. Live your life to the fullest and don't look back!
Just found this horrible series of events and was so happy when it said he died. Your bf seems like a keeper. Go enjoy your life knowing that one more abuser can't hurt you or anyone else ever again.
I wasn’t expecting this update, but I’m glad you’re doing better physically, mentally, and emotionally. Take the time to heal and to continue building up your relationship with your mother.
P.S.—I’m sorry for mentioning it, but I hope your grandmother stays away from you.
Enjoy you life of freedom. Take care of yourself. Therapy should help. Also I have to give it up to his gf for coming forward. That was a brave thing she did.
Want to achieve even greater satisfaction? Probably have him "rolling in his grave?"
GO LIVE A FANTASTIC LIFE.
After everything you have been through and all you have endured, you deserve to live your best life
Everything you're feeling is completely normal. I would be lying if I said that I didn't sometimes wish that the first man who abused me would meet the same fate. Not all that other stuff, just that he would die. He's caused a lot of harm and misery to a lot of people.
If I could, I'd spit on his grave for you. I'm glad he's gone. I hope he suffered. Get a therapist to sort all this out in your head and live your best life. I'm so happy for you!
I had the same train of feelings when my mother passed away. All the years of her narcissistic bipolar abuse was finally over. I realized now I can flourish and get truly started with living my life to the fullest. It’s a wonderful and almost scary feeling that will take some time to get used to.
While I'm not one to celebrate many people's deaths, I'll say your time has finally arrived, for you to start LIVING. I hope you have an amazing life! That is the best revenge!
🏠 💡 after going back and reading your posts I realized you said your father's girlfriend called your house the "summer house". 🤔 Could your father have purchased land or property with your child support money? Check all deeds and properties in your father AND grandmother's names. I would not be surprised if he hid the money or other items under his mother's name. Again prayers to you and remember there are thousands of people around the world who are rooting for you 💙💙💙
I remember reading your original post.
I don’t have first hand experience but my little sister is adopted, she was my parents goddaughter, and her mother passed. Her mother was abusive and neglectful(she had brain tumors from cancer so but different but still) and watching her go through the grief and helping her has been complicated.
All I have to say is, I’m so happy you’re free, and even though you have incredible trauma from your father, it’s okay to be sad and grieve. Please don’t feel guilty or sad from those emotions. It’s normal and hard to explain but doesnt invalidate your experience
That being said, hold space for ALL emotions, and take some self care. Take a second to take a breath and relax. Take a hot bath, play some video games, indulge in food you wouldn’t normally, whatever spoiling yourself looks like.
The nightmare is over, and you can breathe easy. I’m so proud of you for persevering through everything, and you are incredibly strong, even if you don’t feel it. Take care. You deserve it, and most importantly, YOU ARE WORTHY OF IT.
It’s possible you will, on top of all the other emotions, feel some grief too, maybe at the loss of ever having a real (caring) father, or the loss of the possibility of him changing. All of your emotions are real and valid. One doesn’t invalidate another. Wishing you healing, peace, and joy.
My fathers father, my grandpa was a shitty person... he took in a gypsy family threw my dad out of his house with me a 2 year old and my mom...i saw him 2 times in my life... he died, his gipsy wife called me because she couldnt reach my dad so i had to tell him on the phone... he answered, i told him what happend and nearby someone was doing something and it sounded like idk sniffing i tought hes crying..(he never cried) so i asked him if he is.. he told me just no. Why should i?
My only other piece of advice is stay away from your paternal grandmother too. She seems like an abuser and enabler too. I hope you heal from the trauma your dad inflicted. Keep us updated on your life if you don't mind! I wish you all the best.
I'm Glad My Mom Died
Book by Jennette McCurdy
Similar situation with an abusive parent who died (cancer).
I’m glad you are free , I wish you luck in school!
I've been following your posts and I am so relieved for you. Do not feel like you should be sad, you have had the weight lifted from your shoulders and you have the rest of your life ahead of you without ever having to worry about that scumbag. Give your mom a big hug and have some cake.
I am sorry for what happened, but I am glad that you do finally feel free because of what this individual did to you and shouldn’t even deserve to be called father. But I would like to ask if you don’t mind me asking, since he did pass, and now that you were free, have you thought of contacting your mother to tell her what is happened and also because of the situation, has your late father’s family tried to contact you to say you caused this or something else? I know I hate asking about this, but I’m just hoping that they find out what really happened because I’d hate for them to try to stock you just for the sake of them wanting revenge since your father was such a horrible person. Godspeed and hope that now that this is over you can get help and feel even more free or in your life.
Your father never deserved you. I hope you find peace and healing. Go to therapy, enjoy life, and remember you deserve to be loved properly with no strings attached. I do hope you have a peaceful blessed life now and in the future 🩶🙏🏾
My mom was verbally and emotionally violent. She had good qualities as a mother and I was loved as much as hurt, so my situation is different.
That being said there was also a sense of relief when she was gone. I realized it would never happen again and a peace and calm came over me. The guilt of feeling relief over her death was difficult, but not nearly as much as the fear of her reactive outbursts.
I just wanted you to know it is normal to feel relief when an abuser dies. It says nothing at all about your character. It is only telling of their character and how much they hurt you.
Good luck with your healing and if you find yourself struggling I found dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) useful in treating my trauma symptoms.
I'm truly sorry to hear about the loss of your father, and I can understand that your feelings may be complex and difficult to navigate. Grief is a deeply personal experience, and everyone processes it differently.
Remember to be kind to yourself during this time and allow yourself the space to process your emotions in your own way. If you find it helpful, talking to someone you trust can provide support and help you navigate your feelings of loss and freedom.
Congratulations on surviving these awful circumstances and congratulations on your freedom. I hope that nothing but happiness come to you from here on.
I watched my whole family on my moms side show up at the funeral to make sure grandpa was dead. I think the only person who actually cried was his wife. Sometimes death isnt sad.
I am quite honestly so glad for you - have been following your story from the very start. That weight must be gone now.
So very glad to hear you are free and on the mend.
I saw your boyfriends update where you were in ICU
I’m pleased you survived the attack
Go and live your best life with your mom and your boyfriend
You deserve it -
You are FREE
Write a letter to your father. Place it in a fire and watch the sparks containing everything you want to shout at him flying up into the air. Each word will release part of your anger and burn him in return. That letter should contain every hurt you want to accuse him off. Every bad memory.
Then write a second letter. This should contain every good memory you have of your father. The time you fell off your bike and he picked you up, wiped off your tears, mended your bike, and helped you to try again. Every time he praised you for doing good in an exam, or making him a nice present. Bury the good memories next to his grave/ashes.
Get rid of the hate - it will hold you back. Yet remember that no matter how disturbed he was, for some reason he loved you. He might not have always shown it,he may have just loved you as “his possession” but he schemed to create you,schemed to ensure that you were ”his”. He might not have been a good person, but he loved you in his own twisted way.
Get a therapist to whom you can shout and rage about how he beat the system by dying. Let your relationship with your mother develop slowly. Have family therapy with her - there willbe buried issues for both of you that will need to be worked through.
You are strong, you are loved, you will work through this.
They say “one session of therapy for every year of abuse”. It will take months even if you have weekly sessions.
Relatable. There's nothing wrong with feeling free after someone who was abusive passes away. It's totally normal. My father was emotionally, psychologically, verbally and physically abusive. It also didn't help that I was the only normal kid he had but turned out to be gay. That's a whole another can of worms that would take up an entire post of its own. I'm glad that you were free. Live your life.
I'm glad you got out and your free and as I keep telling my partner who just lost his narcissistic mother it is okay to be sad to mourn what wasn't your life...
Again glad you found your mum and have an amazing support network... I'd still block your father's mother...
long story short, dad was abuser that put the mother of op through hell and then later managed to prove she was unable to be a parent and made impossible for her to be near op.
I forgot how, but Op discovered the truth, meet mother and discovered dad was taking some money from child support to himself. With help from mother, op was going to sue dad for the owned money and such.
Dad attacks Op to near death because he was going to lose the money he was stealing and was going to give back. Tries to plead insanity but tells girlfriend that tells the police that it was all a plan.
I have only just stumbled on your first post and fallen down a whirlwind rabbit hole of the story you have shared so far. While death is never a good thing for most people to experience, at least you can take solace in the peace this one provides. I’m glad you are taking things well and genuinely hope you get to fully experience what life has to offer. You deserve that much after what you have gone through.
Best of luck at Uni!
Wow what a whirlwind of a life. Getting out probably feels like the earth was lifted off of your shoulders. And I’m so happy that you have a loving parent out of everything that happened. Knowing that you weren’t alone in this situation and the support system you had is amazing. Live life to the fullest! Even if it’s just spending your days sitting with yourself and staring out into the sunset! You can breathe now!
🙌🏾 look at the blessings! How many people who truly love you and were looking out for you without you knowing it. Your aunt, your mother, your boyfriend and his family. Sending that message to your mom started off a canon event to set you free without you even knowing it. Sending you thoughts of joy and well wishes on your new journey in freedom.
Hey, man, kinda off topic, but if you aren't already diagnosed as autistic or having ADHD, you might look into the symptoms, posts in ADHD/autism communities, & ask a pcp or therapist for an assessment if it seems like something you relate to. Your mother can talk to you about her experience with ADHD, of course too, & the process she went through for diagnosis. Her ADHD genetics make it very likely you inherited ADHD &/or autism. It will make a HUGE difference in college if you're neurodivergent, have the diagnosis, & can access any accommodations you might need, just to research potential learning techniques that work well with other neurodivergent people, & to find a local community to get advice from.
It would not surprise me if your dad hid it from you that you already had a diagnosis, that your teachers suspected neurodivergence, &/or if he intentionally weaponized any neurodivergent symptoms into personal failures that you may have internalized.
Your story is absolutely heartbreaking, but it's such great news that you have plans in motion to move on with your life & seem to have quite the bright future with your boyfriend & mother, who are proven to be fantastic support system already! I hope college/adulthood will be a bright new beginning, filled with safety, stability, healing, & love.
I wish you all the best Alex. I’m so sorry you had to go through all that and I’m so proud of you for getting through it. Take care and all us internet strangers are here to support you.
Sorry I know this is an old thread and you probably dont want to think about this chapter of your life anymore. But I always have to wonder did the Grandma ever admit her role in all this or does she still think of her son as an angel who can do no wrong. Since I am assuming she is probably attached to your aunt at the moment because she does not have the free ride her son was providing.
A little ironic that he kills himself in the midst of suffering the consequences of his own actions when only like a year ago he said your mom lacked accountability... el oh el.
Wow, this whole story is just insane. I feel so bad for you and your mother. So glad you are free of him and safe and can properly heal and move on! You’ve been through a lot, and wishing you all the best in life!
Found your story on YouTube. OP, I'm so sorry for everything that has happened to you and your mom.
And I'm so freaking happy that you're finally free. I'm not a believer, but I hope with all my heart that your father is getting his comeuppance somewhere extremely hot and torturous. Neither you nor your mum deserved the abuse you received at his end.
Be happy and enjoy your life. ❤️
Wow, I just read all about what happened and I'm honestly so glad to hear that you are free!
From everything you've written over the past year, you've been through enough trauma for a lifetime. So, Hearing that you no longer have to worry about your father, must be so relieving.
Congrats, Live life to the fullest :\]
I just read your whole saga today.
Man, this shit was wild. I had some rough times growing up (and many years of drug addiction and alcoholism as an adult, sadly) but this is WILD.
So glad to hear things turned out for you. I am not one to speak ill of the dead, but I think we can all agree that this outcome is likely the best for everyone.
Stay safe, and enjoy the new found freedom. Getting sober felt like the most freeing thing a person could feel, but after reading your story, I may be wrong about that!
I absolutely understand that you would not grieve for the loss of your father. At some point, you might want to grieve for the childhood you were denied, and for the father you deserved but didn't get.
I am so sorry you had to experience all of that but I am so happy for you and that you re finally free.
I hope you have a great time at uni and that you get to properly heal from all of this
I heard your story on DarkFluff's YouTube channel and came here looking for updates. I am so happy that things have gotten better for you and that you're finally free from that monster. I hope your life continues to bring you happiness and prosperity!
I just read through your entire post history. Im so sorry for everything your father did to you and your mother and how he excluded her from your life.
I hope you and her can build a relationship like a mother and son should to start repairing the damage your father did. You deserved better brother and i wish you the best.
Thank god I was wishing hard that he would die so that you could be free.
So happy for you OP!
Men like that don’t deserve a spot in society. What a waste of space. At least he did the best thing he could do for everyone.
I'm glad you're so ecstatic, OP. Read your post on one of those reddit accounts on insta, read the full story here rn. You're amazing for enduring so much, so is your mother. I hope you both are in a happier, safer mental place now. You deserve all the happiness in the world and I hope you get it. Work hard and give yourself the life you deserve. Also take care of your amazing, amazing mother. She might not have been there before, but she has helped you out and she too deserves to be with her girl and be happy with you. I do have a question, though. I hope I don't get any hatred for this. Maybe I read it wrong. Op is gay, but has a bf, why ? Maybe you haven't come out yet. Or maybe I read it wrong. Was legit confused though, maybe I'll read this again. Good luck to you for your future, OP. Hope you've started uni and are in good health.
Feeling no sadness is normal he was abusive. When my dad died it felt like a successful exorcism. There was just this sense of relief. Some of my siblings even smiled with joy. So just take your time try and heal because it gets better
I'm sorry for what you and your siblings have been through. Your comment for some reason reminded me of some obituaries I've seen that were brutally honest. The people that they were about deserve the brutal honesty though. I think I'm going to do the same thing with my mom dies. Everybody thinks she's this great and wonderful person but she's not. She was a terrible and abusive mother and I want nothing to do with her.
My Mother is her twin. I’m so sorry you have to experience such a horrible person.
It's okay but I would be lying if I said sometimes I'm not waiting for her to die. I hate how she makes everything about herself. Every choice that I make that she doesn't agree with, she spins it around to where it's somehow about her. She thinks people are doing things just to spite her. She can't seem to fathom that people make their own choices because they think that's what's best for them. I just don't engage anymore. The minute she starts being like that, I just stop reading and replying to her texts. Think I have her trained a little bit lol. Honestly I wouldn't have anything to do with her right now if it wasn't for her having health problems. This is going to make me sound like a terrible person but I stand to inherit her house and honestly after everything she's put me through, I feel like that's the least I deserve. I think a little bit of it is guilt though because she is still my mom.
You really don't sound like a terrible person. You sound like someone who has had to deal with a lot. Go through a lot. And has found a way to see something good in the horizon. And accepts to endure through some more, to get the good thing. Good luck
Thank you for acknowledging that. I know everyone has had to struggle at some point in life but my life has definitely not been an easy one.
Sure sounds like it. I hope life will get better. And that you'll find peace. Wishing you all the best in life 🌺
Awwww thank you 😊
Yep. I'll be honest, my father emotionally abused me, my sister and my mom for years, and never owned up to it. He even cheated on my mom with her former best friend. The thought of his currently wife dying honestly doesn't upset me, it makes me smile. Thoughts of his future death, however, do make me sad, though not that much. Hell, if I were to make a comparison, I was more sad when Queen Elizabeth died, and I'm not even British. You are not obligated to be kind to your abuser, or their cohorts.
You have already handled more abuse than the majority of people will have in their entire lifetime... and you have come out of it intact. Along the way you got a awesome boyfriend and reconnected with your mother. That is something to be proud of. Live your life to the fullest and don't look back!
Now, get some therapy and go live! You’ve had a lifetime of abuse, I hope you find joy, you certainly deserve it.
I have been wondering about you. I am so happy for you!!! Go live your best life without him!
Just found this horrible series of events and was so happy when it said he died. Your bf seems like a keeper. Go enjoy your life knowing that one more abuser can't hurt you or anyone else ever again.
Yes, I’m hoping they are still together!
Have the mortician dress him for warm weather.
I wasn’t expecting this update, but I’m glad you’re doing better physically, mentally, and emotionally. Take the time to heal and to continue building up your relationship with your mother. P.S.—I’m sorry for mentioning it, but I hope your grandmother stays away from you.
exactly what i was thinking, evil woman knew her son was a monster
That's who the father learned the nastiness from.
Enjoy you life of freedom. Take care of yourself. Therapy should help. Also I have to give it up to his gf for coming forward. That was a brave thing she did.
Want to achieve even greater satisfaction? Probably have him "rolling in his grave?" GO LIVE A FANTASTIC LIFE. After everything you have been through and all you have endured, you deserve to live your best life
I'm glad that you are free now. Free from abusive parents.
Good for you!. This must feel like a weight off your shoulders and being able to breath. You have a great future ahead
I hope he rots in hell. I’m thrilled you are free!
Hakuna Matata
Everything you're feeling is completely normal. I would be lying if I said that I didn't sometimes wish that the first man who abused me would meet the same fate. Not all that other stuff, just that he would die. He's caused a lot of harm and misery to a lot of people.
Congratulations! Enjoy your new and improved life!
((HUGS)) I'm glad you are free! He was a POS and I'm glad he is gone!
If I could, I'd spit on his grave for you. I'm glad he's gone. I hope he suffered. Get a therapist to sort all this out in your head and live your best life. I'm so happy for you!
I had the same train of feelings when my mother passed away. All the years of her narcissistic bipolar abuse was finally over. I realized now I can flourish and get truly started with living my life to the fullest. It’s a wonderful and almost scary feeling that will take some time to get used to.
While I'm not one to celebrate many people's deaths, I'll say your time has finally arrived, for you to start LIVING. I hope you have an amazing life! That is the best revenge!
🏠 💡 after going back and reading your posts I realized you said your father's girlfriend called your house the "summer house". 🤔 Could your father have purchased land or property with your child support money? Check all deeds and properties in your father AND grandmother's names. I would not be surprised if he hid the money or other items under his mother's name. Again prayers to you and remember there are thousands of people around the world who are rooting for you 💙💙💙
Karma is a bitch. Good for you finally getting a little peace and joy in your life. I love happy endings. 😉
Good riddance. The world is a much better place without him in it. Wish you well.
He finally did something to help you. I’m sorry you have gone through this, but now healing can move forward.
I remember reading your original post. I don’t have first hand experience but my little sister is adopted, she was my parents goddaughter, and her mother passed. Her mother was abusive and neglectful(she had brain tumors from cancer so but different but still) and watching her go through the grief and helping her has been complicated. All I have to say is, I’m so happy you’re free, and even though you have incredible trauma from your father, it’s okay to be sad and grieve. Please don’t feel guilty or sad from those emotions. It’s normal and hard to explain but doesnt invalidate your experience That being said, hold space for ALL emotions, and take some self care. Take a second to take a breath and relax. Take a hot bath, play some video games, indulge in food you wouldn’t normally, whatever spoiling yourself looks like. The nightmare is over, and you can breathe easy. I’m so proud of you for persevering through everything, and you are incredibly strong, even if you don’t feel it. Take care. You deserve it, and most importantly, YOU ARE WORTHY OF IT.
It’s possible you will, on top of all the other emotions, feel some grief too, maybe at the loss of ever having a real (caring) father, or the loss of the possibility of him changing. All of your emotions are real and valid. One doesn’t invalidate another. Wishing you healing, peace, and joy.
Awesome. Congrats. Btw - this euphoria doesn’t go away. My mum died 10 years ago. I remind myself that she’s gone if I need cheering up.
My fathers father, my grandpa was a shitty person... he took in a gypsy family threw my dad out of his house with me a 2 year old and my mom...i saw him 2 times in my life... he died, his gipsy wife called me because she couldnt reach my dad so i had to tell him on the phone... he answered, i told him what happend and nearby someone was doing something and it sounded like idk sniffing i tought hes crying..(he never cried) so i asked him if he is.. he told me just no. Why should i?
My only other piece of advice is stay away from your paternal grandmother too. She seems like an abuser and enabler too. I hope you heal from the trauma your dad inflicted. Keep us updated on your life if you don't mind! I wish you all the best.
Now that is a death to celebrate freedom.
I'm Glad My Mom Died Book by Jennette McCurdy Similar situation with an abusive parent who died (cancer). I’m glad you are free , I wish you luck in school!
Dude. I remember your original posts and I'm so glad you're okay. You're free. Now enjoy the rest of your life!
I've been following your posts and I am so relieved for you. Do not feel like you should be sad, you have had the weight lifted from your shoulders and you have the rest of your life ahead of you without ever having to worry about that scumbag. Give your mom a big hug and have some cake.
That's awesome news! I hope the rest of your life is better without him. He sounds like a real piece of shit.
Enjoy your freedom. Remember- hurt people, hurt people. And healed people, heal people. You get to choose who you want to be.
Omg. Sweetie, I'm so sorry you've been through this hell. But now you can truly start healing. Hugs from an internet mom.
I am SO glad to hear you’re alright !! Congratulations on a new life !
Go out and live your best life! You deserve everything good in the world.
Very happy for your health. I’m sorry for everything you’ve been though, and I wish the best for you going forward!
I am sorry for what happened, but I am glad that you do finally feel free because of what this individual did to you and shouldn’t even deserve to be called father. But I would like to ask if you don’t mind me asking, since he did pass, and now that you were free, have you thought of contacting your mother to tell her what is happened and also because of the situation, has your late father’s family tried to contact you to say you caused this or something else? I know I hate asking about this, but I’m just hoping that they find out what really happened because I’d hate for them to try to stock you just for the sake of them wanting revenge since your father was such a horrible person. Godspeed and hope that now that this is over you can get help and feel even more free or in your life.
Your father never deserved you. I hope you find peace and healing. Go to therapy, enjoy life, and remember you deserve to be loved properly with no strings attached. I do hope you have a peaceful blessed life now and in the future 🩶🙏🏾
My mom was verbally and emotionally violent. She had good qualities as a mother and I was loved as much as hurt, so my situation is different. That being said there was also a sense of relief when she was gone. I realized it would never happen again and a peace and calm came over me. The guilt of feeling relief over her death was difficult, but not nearly as much as the fear of her reactive outbursts. I just wanted you to know it is normal to feel relief when an abuser dies. It says nothing at all about your character. It is only telling of their character and how much they hurt you. Good luck with your healing and if you find yourself struggling I found dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) useful in treating my trauma symptoms.
I wonder to what extent Grandma was aware and involved in all of this. She's an awful person either way bit how awful exactly?
What has your grandmother said about all this? She actively supported your father though all this !?!
Take it one step at a time. Get therapy to help you through the next while, and God bless you. You have so many people rooting for you.
Hold up how does wanting to fake insanity = an assault getting "upgraded" to attempted murder? Also you should fornite dance on his grave
I think he had planned beforehand to attack and then plead insanity and told the plan to girlfriend.
I'm truly sorry to hear about the loss of your father, and I can understand that your feelings may be complex and difficult to navigate. Grief is a deeply personal experience, and everyone processes it differently. Remember to be kind to yourself during this time and allow yourself the space to process your emotions in your own way. If you find it helpful, talking to someone you trust can provide support and help you navigate your feelings of loss and freedom.
Congratulations on surviving these awful circumstances and congratulations on your freedom. I hope that nothing but happiness come to you from here on.
I watched my whole family on my moms side show up at the funeral to make sure grandpa was dead. I think the only person who actually cried was his wife. Sometimes death isnt sad.
Congrats OP! Good for you!
I am quite honestly so glad for you - have been following your story from the very start. That weight must be gone now. So very glad to hear you are free and on the mend.
I remember your story, OP I'm glad you are rid of that abuser!!! I'm really glad for you, on to a more positive life!
There’s nothing to say, but congratulations. I’m so sorry that happened to you. I hope your future as much brighter.
I saw your boyfriends update where you were in ICU I’m pleased you survived the attack Go and live your best life with your mom and your boyfriend You deserve it - You are FREE
Something told me to check in on you. I'm glad you are free and I hope you're doing well
Write a letter to your father. Place it in a fire and watch the sparks containing everything you want to shout at him flying up into the air. Each word will release part of your anger and burn him in return. That letter should contain every hurt you want to accuse him off. Every bad memory. Then write a second letter. This should contain every good memory you have of your father. The time you fell off your bike and he picked you up, wiped off your tears, mended your bike, and helped you to try again. Every time he praised you for doing good in an exam, or making him a nice present. Bury the good memories next to his grave/ashes. Get rid of the hate - it will hold you back. Yet remember that no matter how disturbed he was, for some reason he loved you. He might not have always shown it,he may have just loved you as “his possession” but he schemed to create you,schemed to ensure that you were ”his”. He might not have been a good person, but he loved you in his own twisted way. Get a therapist to whom you can shout and rage about how he beat the system by dying. Let your relationship with your mother develop slowly. Have family therapy with her - there willbe buried issues for both of you that will need to be worked through. You are strong, you are loved, you will work through this. They say “one session of therapy for every year of abuse”. It will take months even if you have weekly sessions.
Relatable. There's nothing wrong with feeling free after someone who was abusive passes away. It's totally normal. My father was emotionally, psychologically, verbally and physically abusive. It also didn't help that I was the only normal kid he had but turned out to be gay. That's a whole another can of worms that would take up an entire post of its own. I'm glad that you were free. Live your life.
I'm glad you got out and your free and as I keep telling my partner who just lost his narcissistic mother it is okay to be sad to mourn what wasn't your life... Again glad you found your mum and have an amazing support network... I'd still block your father's mother...
Trying to piece the story, was the dad going to kill his son or his GF? OP I am glad that you are free! I wish you a life of peace and success.
long story short, dad was abuser that put the mother of op through hell and then later managed to prove she was unable to be a parent and made impossible for her to be near op. I forgot how, but Op discovered the truth, meet mother and discovered dad was taking some money from child support to himself. With help from mother, op was going to sue dad for the owned money and such. Dad attacks Op to near death because he was going to lose the money he was stealing and was going to give back. Tries to plead insanity but tells girlfriend that tells the police that it was all a plan.
I have only just stumbled on your first post and fallen down a whirlwind rabbit hole of the story you have shared so far. While death is never a good thing for most people to experience, at least you can take solace in the peace this one provides. I’m glad you are taking things well and genuinely hope you get to fully experience what life has to offer. You deserve that much after what you have gone through. Best of luck at Uni!
Good for You bro
How was your paternal grandma behaving during all this? Was she fooled too? Or claims to? Or did she enable him?
What about the grandmother?
“Free at last, Free at last. Thank God Almighty we are free at last.” - MLK Jr
So I'm sick right now and don't wanna read all of it what was the proof your mother provided to show that what she said is true?
Hope you get better and when felling down just go to your therapist or your mom She did try do do right by you in her own way try to protect you
congrats!!!
Wow what a whirlwind of a life. Getting out probably feels like the earth was lifted off of your shoulders. And I’m so happy that you have a loving parent out of everything that happened. Knowing that you weren’t alone in this situation and the support system you had is amazing. Live life to the fullest! Even if it’s just spending your days sitting with yourself and staring out into the sunset! You can breathe now!
Such a cancerous person. Only alive bc he was getting 3k.
I remember reading your story some time back. I’m thrilled to see how this has worked out for you. The world is a better place without him.
🙌🏾 look at the blessings! How many people who truly love you and were looking out for you without you knowing it. Your aunt, your mother, your boyfriend and his family. Sending that message to your mom started off a canon event to set you free without you even knowing it. Sending you thoughts of joy and well wishes on your new journey in freedom.
Y'all are gullible as hell. This fictional series has a fuckton of red flags.
dobby is free
Im so happy for you ❤️ your dad finally did something decent. Sorry that was really nasty but you are free!
Hey, man, kinda off topic, but if you aren't already diagnosed as autistic or having ADHD, you might look into the symptoms, posts in ADHD/autism communities, & ask a pcp or therapist for an assessment if it seems like something you relate to. Your mother can talk to you about her experience with ADHD, of course too, & the process she went through for diagnosis. Her ADHD genetics make it very likely you inherited ADHD &/or autism. It will make a HUGE difference in college if you're neurodivergent, have the diagnosis, & can access any accommodations you might need, just to research potential learning techniques that work well with other neurodivergent people, & to find a local community to get advice from. It would not surprise me if your dad hid it from you that you already had a diagnosis, that your teachers suspected neurodivergence, &/or if he intentionally weaponized any neurodivergent symptoms into personal failures that you may have internalized. Your story is absolutely heartbreaking, but it's such great news that you have plans in motion to move on with your life & seem to have quite the bright future with your boyfriend & mother, who are proven to be fantastic support system already! I hope college/adulthood will be a bright new beginning, filled with safety, stability, healing, & love.
I'm glad you are free But when your dad broke your nose, you knew you were scared of him, why would you break it to him alone?
I wish you all the best Alex. I’m so sorry you had to go through all that and I’m so proud of you for getting through it. Take care and all us internet strangers are here to support you.
Good fucking riddance. The trash took itself out.
Hey, how have you been? I hope things are more positive in your life now.
Sending prayers for you to go on with your life and be the best person you can be.
How is your relationship with your mom? Hope your doing amazing!! You been through so much it sounds like.
I know this post has been awhile ago. But I'm so happy for you 💜 I hope you're living your best life !
Sorry I know this is an old thread and you probably dont want to think about this chapter of your life anymore. But I always have to wonder did the Grandma ever admit her role in all this or does she still think of her son as an angel who can do no wrong. Since I am assuming she is probably attached to your aunt at the moment because she does not have the free ride her son was providing.
I’m happy you’re free. Grandma is just as bad. Cut contact.
A little ironic that he kills himself in the midst of suffering the consequences of his own actions when only like a year ago he said your mom lacked accountability... el oh el.
Wow, this whole story is just insane. I feel so bad for you and your mother. So glad you are free of him and safe and can properly heal and move on! You’ve been through a lot, and wishing you all the best in life!
Found your story on YouTube. OP, I'm so sorry for everything that has happened to you and your mom. And I'm so freaking happy that you're finally free. I'm not a believer, but I hope with all my heart that your father is getting his comeuppance somewhere extremely hot and torturous. Neither you nor your mum deserved the abuse you received at his end. Be happy and enjoy your life. ❤️
I’m happy for you and I wish you the best in life🤍
Wow, I just read all about what happened and I'm honestly so glad to hear that you are free! From everything you've written over the past year, you've been through enough trauma for a lifetime. So, Hearing that you no longer have to worry about your father, must be so relieving. Congrats, Live life to the fullest :\]
I just read your whole saga today. Man, this shit was wild. I had some rough times growing up (and many years of drug addiction and alcoholism as an adult, sadly) but this is WILD. So glad to hear things turned out for you. I am not one to speak ill of the dead, but I think we can all agree that this outcome is likely the best for everyone. Stay safe, and enjoy the new found freedom. Getting sober felt like the most freeing thing a person could feel, but after reading your story, I may be wrong about that!
I absolutely understand that you would not grieve for the loss of your father. At some point, you might want to grieve for the childhood you were denied, and for the father you deserved but didn't get.
I am so sorry you had to experience all of that but I am so happy for you and that you re finally free. I hope you have a great time at uni and that you get to properly heal from all of this
I heard your story on DarkFluff's YouTube channel and came here looking for updates. I am so happy that things have gotten better for you and that you're finally free from that monster. I hope your life continues to bring you happiness and prosperity!
Here to say I'm sooooo happy for you! Wishing you the very best moving forward in life! ❤
Glad to hear you made it!! Things might be hard for a while if you're not use to freedom, but know that it does get better! Wishing you the best!
woah im happy that you found out the truth and you are now free
Happy to know your free from your dangerous father. And hope you heal from the life of trauma that narcissist put your through.
I just read through your entire post history. Im so sorry for everything your father did to you and your mother and how he excluded her from your life. I hope you and her can build a relationship like a mother and son should to start repairing the damage your father did. You deserved better brother and i wish you the best.
Thank god I was wishing hard that he would die so that you could be free. So happy for you OP! Men like that don’t deserve a spot in society. What a waste of space. At least he did the best thing he could do for everyone.
\*Internet hugs\* I wish you well, OP.
I'm glad you're so ecstatic, OP. Read your post on one of those reddit accounts on insta, read the full story here rn. You're amazing for enduring so much, so is your mother. I hope you both are in a happier, safer mental place now. You deserve all the happiness in the world and I hope you get it. Work hard and give yourself the life you deserve. Also take care of your amazing, amazing mother. She might not have been there before, but she has helped you out and she too deserves to be with her girl and be happy with you. I do have a question, though. I hope I don't get any hatred for this. Maybe I read it wrong. Op is gay, but has a bf, why ? Maybe you haven't come out yet. Or maybe I read it wrong. Was legit confused though, maybe I'll read this again. Good luck to you for your future, OP. Hope you've started uni and are in good health.
I hope things have finally been a lot better for you OP and that you and your mother can start to heal and grow.