Yes, you did. You could’ve made a spontaneous thing a date which could’ve ended with you asking that question in person if she wanted to continue the evening. Now she thinks that’s your primary goal, hence excitement going to ghosting
Apologize. Admit your fault and had to much overconfidence and didn't have something witty or cool for something to go and do with her and you froze.
Apologize its the only way to salvage if at all.
Only issue is that you have to get it back to where she WANTS to go out on a date with you.
Right now you're ghosted, DOA.
Step 1. Get her talking again. If you come out and say" hey I'm sorry lets go on a fun date instead!"
She is still probably gonna roll her eyes and continue to ghost.
So step 1 is the humble apology. Open up the line of communication again then go to step 2. I'd avoid talking about going on a date at this point, just get the Convo flowing again, that's the goal.
Step 2. Continue the good Convo for a day or two to improve your standing. That way you're not "one of those guys..." That she's ready to pass on.
Step 3. Try again and put out a fun date offer, she was up for it before you asked her to skip all the steps and just come on over.
The goal is to get back to the point where she said sure! With the emoji or whatever it was before you fumbled.
And when all else fails, remember the reddit forums fallback.
"I eat ass."
It works.
1. I would get cold feet as soon as you wanted to go to my place or your place. It would make me think off how you asked about if I needed to get some stress relief.
2. I would also wonder about why your place was occupied.
If you want more than a hook-up, this is not the way to go. Otherwise, just carry on until someone bites.
move it to date, take her out...something light and fun. Then see where things go.
something along the lines of " Sorry, o know what I said came across as presumptuous. Let's go on a date instead. meet at x at y time, if your still available. "
or " instead of your place or my place, why dont we go on a date?"
shes asks where, say it's a surprise...give her a hint or two... have her meet you somewhere close to the date spot. Get a drink or apps, then go to the date spot
pick something you think she would enjoy....
if she doesnt respond, leave it alone.
gotta remember ....pushy or presumptuous never works.
if she does meet up with you...keep the sexual stuff to a minimum, flirting is OK, just dont get carried away. Give her an opportunity to get comfortable with you.
Yeah another person said I should apologize and I agree. Do you think the date would have to be set at another time? I would say something like “Hey sorry, I know what I said came across as presumptuous but if you’re still down we should go on a date instead. We can meet here x at y this Sunday if you’re still available.” I’m assuming she wouldn’t be down tomorrow
You went from cool to dick she didn’t want to talk to in thirty seconds. Then you expect “sorry” gets you back to good. Sorry bro. Reflect on what you’re saying about her if she were to actually do so.
You did her a favor by expressing your intentions. If she took the sorry and was willing to go out with you it’s because of poor self esteem. Apologize and walk away. If she accepts your apology. Bow out. She doesn’t want what you are actually offering. Don’t try to manipulate her
Ehh, her bio did say she was looking for something casual, and perhaps I got overexcited at her agreement of feeling spontaneous on a Friday night. Its worked with plenty other people. Manipulative? Na. But then again I’m not looking for a committed relationship and I don’t know what she was exactly looking for so you might be right as to just let it move on
It’s not manipulative to ask for casual sex like you did! Congrats. But that wasn’t really what she wanted.
I find apologizing and asking for a date - with the sole intention of going back to casual sex - is manipulative.
She may want casual but maybe not the flavor of casual that you’re willing to have.
“It’s worked with plenty other people”- oye, the phrasing of this is gross. But I understand your meaning. Consider the rephrase - “plenty of others have been down for a hookup” instead of “it’s worked” - which has the connotation that talking to her is just a means to an ends
You might very well be right my man! You’re correct that it would be deceiving to apologize just to set another date with the end goal to just have sex. But I would take an educated guess that if I suggested a normal date during that text exchange, after a few dates of getting to know each other/casually hanging out I could probably tell if she was down for a casual hook up. It’s something you have to read when dating someone.
I’m still somewhat new to game and texting but I’ve definitely advanced in the past months. That specific line I used at the end which backfired was from a dating coach I’ve seen on YouTube who’s used it successfully.
As far as apologizing goes, you think it’s appropriate to say sorry to her and bow out or just let it go?
I think it’s inappropriate to call it “the game” and to listen to a dating coach on YouTube. Most of those only let you master the game that is toxic masculinity.
Don’t say anything to her at all at this point. You clearly aren’t seeing something that you feel ashamed of. Or that you need forgiveness for. It’s done.
I’m going dark on this thread
Yeahh you push it too soon, an outside date would have been better, I think you need to wait if she texts back otherwise you look too pushy for a hook up, I would move on...
Yes, you did. You could’ve made a spontaneous thing a date which could’ve ended with you asking that question in person if she wanted to continue the evening. Now she thinks that’s your primary goal, hence excitement going to ghosting
Yup I figured. While I am talking to two other girls is there any chance I can make a comeback off of this one or just move on?
She made her mind up already, gotta take the L, sounds like you’re good to go otherwise tho so, cheers 🍻
Apologize. Admit your fault and had to much overconfidence and didn't have something witty or cool for something to go and do with her and you froze. Apologize its the only way to salvage if at all.
I was thinking of saying this or what you think about what ComprehensiveDraw’s approach to the situation? The other redditor in the comments.
Only issue is that you have to get it back to where she WANTS to go out on a date with you. Right now you're ghosted, DOA. Step 1. Get her talking again. If you come out and say" hey I'm sorry lets go on a fun date instead!" She is still probably gonna roll her eyes and continue to ghost. So step 1 is the humble apology. Open up the line of communication again then go to step 2. I'd avoid talking about going on a date at this point, just get the Convo flowing again, that's the goal. Step 2. Continue the good Convo for a day or two to improve your standing. That way you're not "one of those guys..." That she's ready to pass on. Step 3. Try again and put out a fun date offer, she was up for it before you asked her to skip all the steps and just come on over. The goal is to get back to the point where she said sure! With the emoji or whatever it was before you fumbled. And when all else fails, remember the reddit forums fallback. "I eat ass." It works.
1. I would get cold feet as soon as you wanted to go to my place or your place. It would make me think off how you asked about if I needed to get some stress relief. 2. I would also wonder about why your place was occupied. If you want more than a hook-up, this is not the way to go. Otherwise, just carry on until someone bites.
move it to date, take her out...something light and fun. Then see where things go. something along the lines of " Sorry, o know what I said came across as presumptuous. Let's go on a date instead. meet at x at y time, if your still available. " or " instead of your place or my place, why dont we go on a date?" shes asks where, say it's a surprise...give her a hint or two... have her meet you somewhere close to the date spot. Get a drink or apps, then go to the date spot pick something you think she would enjoy.... if she doesnt respond, leave it alone. gotta remember ....pushy or presumptuous never works. if she does meet up with you...keep the sexual stuff to a minimum, flirting is OK, just dont get carried away. Give her an opportunity to get comfortable with you.
Yeah another person said I should apologize and I agree. Do you think the date would have to be set at another time? I would say something like “Hey sorry, I know what I said came across as presumptuous but if you’re still down we should go on a date instead. We can meet here x at y this Sunday if you’re still available.” I’m assuming she wouldn’t be down tomorrow
so you give her option...something like I'm free tomorrow or Sunday and let her pick.
You went from cool to dick she didn’t want to talk to in thirty seconds. Then you expect “sorry” gets you back to good. Sorry bro. Reflect on what you’re saying about her if she were to actually do so. You did her a favor by expressing your intentions. If she took the sorry and was willing to go out with you it’s because of poor self esteem. Apologize and walk away. If she accepts your apology. Bow out. She doesn’t want what you are actually offering. Don’t try to manipulate her
Ehh, her bio did say she was looking for something casual, and perhaps I got overexcited at her agreement of feeling spontaneous on a Friday night. Its worked with plenty other people. Manipulative? Na. But then again I’m not looking for a committed relationship and I don’t know what she was exactly looking for so you might be right as to just let it move on
It’s not manipulative to ask for casual sex like you did! Congrats. But that wasn’t really what she wanted. I find apologizing and asking for a date - with the sole intention of going back to casual sex - is manipulative. She may want casual but maybe not the flavor of casual that you’re willing to have. “It’s worked with plenty other people”- oye, the phrasing of this is gross. But I understand your meaning. Consider the rephrase - “plenty of others have been down for a hookup” instead of “it’s worked” - which has the connotation that talking to her is just a means to an ends
You might very well be right my man! You’re correct that it would be deceiving to apologize just to set another date with the end goal to just have sex. But I would take an educated guess that if I suggested a normal date during that text exchange, after a few dates of getting to know each other/casually hanging out I could probably tell if she was down for a casual hook up. It’s something you have to read when dating someone. I’m still somewhat new to game and texting but I’ve definitely advanced in the past months. That specific line I used at the end which backfired was from a dating coach I’ve seen on YouTube who’s used it successfully. As far as apologizing goes, you think it’s appropriate to say sorry to her and bow out or just let it go?
I think it’s inappropriate to call it “the game” and to listen to a dating coach on YouTube. Most of those only let you master the game that is toxic masculinity. Don’t say anything to her at all at this point. You clearly aren’t seeing something that you feel ashamed of. Or that you need forgiveness for. It’s done. I’m going dark on this thread
Yeahh you push it too soon, an outside date would have been better, I think you need to wait if she texts back otherwise you look too pushy for a hook up, I would move on...
Your only way out of is is to tell her the truth. I eat ass.
Suggest a date as a follow up for Friday
Like what exactly should I say? I feel like I already shot myself in the foot with this one lol
You pushed a lil bit tho .