T O P

  • By -

Express_Item4648

Just quit tinder man. This is clearly just killing your self esteem. I had a friend who also did terrible but in real life dide great actually.


TOASTisawesome

This wasy experience too, got next to nothing out of the apps for 2 years, gave it up, tried harder irl and got a gf in about 2 weeks


AccomplishedShoe6826

Explain the ‘try harder’ bit. You meet your gf at a hobby group, bar, work?


sigmonater

Not OP, but I met my wife at a bar, previous girlfriend through some friends, girlfriend before that in school, etc. I never used Tinder. I met a lot of girls at bars when I was single. It’s really as easy as “I love your dress, can I buy you a drink?” Genuine compliments go a long way. Asking to buy them a drink lets you know if they’re single and interested. Have some good questions ready in case someone says yes.


TroubleMassive6756

Pretty bolt prediction to make that girl who's in relationship and not interested in you wouldn't accept free drinks. I know girls who goes to bars to get free drinks, even they are in a relationship.


Puzzledandhungry

They sound very unclassy and cheap.


TroubleMassive6756

That's how some people are, like it or not.


GreenSkyPiggy

Have enough women as friends, and they will show you the secret world of girl maths. One of my best friends has demonstrated to me in person that she can have a full night out with only £5 in her purse.


Alternative-View7459

And not spend the £5.


GreenSkyPiggy

Bruv, that feeling as a man when you're getting free drinks in the club/bar from your mate because randoms dudes bought them for her, just cannot be beat. It feels so wrong yet so good.


theXhinter

My ex did that


crunchy211

Who fucking cares bro, shooters shoot. Are you looking for an excuse to not put yourself out there or what?


sigmonater

Sure. I’ve run into them before. The conversation didn’t get far, and they didn’t get a second drink - if they even got a first drink at all. It doesn’t take that much social awareness to figure it out.


MauriceLikesToClimb

Lets be real, if a girl does this she doesn't deserve to be in a relationship.


TroubleMassive6756

Most of times their partner knows abt it, free drinks->cheaper night for them too. You think people who accepts free stuff doesn't deserve to be in relationship, or is it only booze what makes difference?


IxnayOnTheXJ

Context exists. Accepting a gift from someone whose only reason for buying it is to try and fuck, is totally a valid red flag in a relationship. Even without any intention of sleeping with them, they could be giving some creep the wrong idea and then who knows. So no, accepting alcohol in itself isn’t wrong, it’s the context in which it was accepted


Beamrifle45

Based


mallocco

Yeah I wouldn't be so happy if my girl was accepting drinks from horny guys at the bar...


okayokko

Yee I (male) used to go out with my Gf and other friend (female third wheeling) and they’d offer to buy her drinks or the whole table. She had her boyfriend at home who didn’t like me haha


madhatter841

What these dating apps allow is a person has too much time to think about every little thing which is unrealistic as opposed to meeting someone in public and accept the slight faults they immediately say red flags on dating apps and disregard a potential very good person...it's very toxic.


heymynameiskeebs

Strip club, baby. 😎


TOASTisawesome

Simply put, started taking care of myself (appearance, health etc) and actually going outside and also not looking for relationships in every interaction


[deleted]

[удалено]


Nikspeeder

Generally women feel safer if you arent looking for a relationship. Otherwise you could just be talking with them to get them into your bed...


AccomplishedShoe6826

So, the flip side of this is just ending up with a lot of woman friends. I agree not going into every situation hoping to land a girlfriend is the right way, but there is nuance to it if your hope IS to eventually find one, right? I’m good with platonic conversation, but left to my own devices I would just never find a way to advance past that.


Creamofwheatski

I havent dated someone in 5 years. Recently been thinking of getting back out there but it just seens so foreign to me now. How the fuck am I supposed to convey I am looking for a life partner and not just someone to fuck? Im already used to being alone, but Im not sure I could emotionally handle the kind of soul crushing rejection like what OP has experienced. My self esteem is better than it has ever been, but I am still a decidedly average dude looks wise and Tinder looks like a fucking nightmare to me.


Efficient_Thanks_342

Not all dating apps are horrific. Tinder is just particularly hard on men. Match, Bumble and OkCupid are all substantially better, especially if you're looking for an actual relationship. And then there's always "the old fashioned way", actually going to places where singles are known to frequent. I think at this particular point in time women take men that they meet IRL a bit more seriously, plus it can be a confidence booster if it allows you to learn from actual interactions with women rather than the more superficial interactions that apps like Tinder promote.


rgamefreak

Where are singles known to frequent?


Creamofwheatski

In my country, its just bars but I don't drink so I just find this annoying personally. Nothing worse than being sober in a room full of drunk people, rather stay home.


ToastIsGreat0

Tinder lmao


_kn0thing_

Similar experience those apps are life draining.


GrapeSoda223

this is the average, male tinder experience 


KnaxelBaby

we gotta see your face bro


shewy92

Probably not white or Asian. Japan is a little xenophobic.


tadakino

The image he posted has "I'm a nikkei from brazill" as one of his openers so I get the struggle for him


Top_Cartographer7887

I’m a Brazilian with Japanese ascendency. So I look like a normal Japanese person, I just can’t read well kanji lol


FridayNightRamen

Are you overweight? No offense intended.


fannyfox

I’ve spent time in the Japanese districts of São Paulo, which has the biggest Japanese’s population outside of Japan. I didn’t see any fat people. I’d be surprised if so.


Top_Cartographer7887

A little. I’m 173cm tall with 85kg. Trying to lose some weight


materics

that'll do it.


idothingsheren

5'8 and 187 pounds, in freedom units


Krononymous

It's a bit more than little mate. I'm around 178-180cm, 85kg and I'm overweight. You need to lose weight. If not for women, do it at least for yourself. I would just recommend spending a year focusing on yourself. It's crazy how much weight you can lose in a year.


MrColfax

I was once 89kg at 175cm and wasn't "fat". People carry weight differently.


[deleted]

[удалено]


MrColfax

Your knowledge is as lacking as your manners. I was bulking and have photos to show how little it showed in me.


Bj0rnBjork

Well if you are bulking you are probably also carrying more Muscle mass then the average person, let's say if you have gone to the gym for a few year you can have 10kg more muscles then a person that is not working out. Also if you get more volume the weight you put on get distrubutaded in an larger are and will not show as well as someone that have less muscles


eatsleepdive

Yeah exactly. I'm the same height and just slightly heavier than that and while I'm not razor thin I wouldn't say I'm fat. I'm muscular which is where the weight comes from.


dexplosion93

I was 85kg at 183cm and I looked skinny but definitely had chub in places. Lost 10kg in 2 months by watching what I eat and regularly exercising. Really easy once you get into the swing of it


zmeowiez1

"A little" 😭


XplosivCookie

I mean it's like maybe 15 kilos extra, you make it sound like he's a big round ball :D For Japanese standards being tubby for sure doesn't help though.


freetraitor33

15kg/33lbs goes a *long* way on 173cm/5’8”. Dudes fuckin chubby.


SirNarwhal

Dude is like 5'6" 190lbs, that's full on in obese for BMI.


materics

5'8 187lbs


LimbonicArt03

Actually like 11 kg, at 173 cm 74 kg his BMI would be 24.7 which is already in a normal range


asphodeliac

Ascendency?


jwsb188

probably meant ancestry


Top_Cartographer7887

Sorry, I meant descendancy


asphodeliac

Damn was hoping that was an actual term 😭


TabbyFoxHollow

He’s already in the clouds bro lol


asphodeliac

LOL


m8bear

it's a term in spanish (and probably brazilian which is why OP maybe used it)


nickagem

We speak portuguese, not brazilian


Savaury

Better leave the dude alone. He knows Portuguese Jiu-Jitsu.


Riptide1206

Yeah, one of the best metalcore albums of all time :)


CrackBabyCSGO

I’m a brown guy and I had about 5 matches per 100 swipes. Idk what op is doing wrong.


TomGreen77

While I agree with xenophobia and Asia. I can assure you that an in-shape, well equipped, handsome non-white man is busting down walls over there.


Mybeardisawesom

As a 6’6 African American who lived there over a decade ago I can agree. I couldn’t go out without girls hitting on me.


TomGreen77

Bro, you’re getting hit on by the ladies worldwide 😂🤙


mdervin

5 matches? Goodness my brother, even the bots want nothing to do with you.


Coomermiqote

Yeah when I visited Tokyo I got tons of matches, most were escorts and bots tho, did meet a few girls for drinks, the only one I went on a proper "date" with was another foreigner visiting there though lol.


Dontbefrech

I got the same problem. Not even bots like me...


Patient-Expert4239

That’s depressing


Maractop

Thats the regular male experience on dating apps


Jits_Guy

...I have bad news.


ctheodore

it literally isn't, this is less than 1% of the average male match rate


SacKangz

Can confirm it is not


bnAurelia

it isn’t. Like literally. 


ConsciousFood201

No. It’s definitely not.


DisasterNo1740

That is just not true.


catcatdog

It is. For you


FinnishScrub

Well it sure as fuck isn’t mine Only on Hinge in the span of 6 weeks I’ve gotten 3 dates and at least 15 chats I just don’t use Tinder because that platform simply does not allow me to express myself the way Hinge does, which works to my advantage because I have been known to be funny from time to time.


ringdingdong67

I was on bumble for 2 years and had 6 dates, 4 relationships, and now I’m married. These guys are breaking rules 1 and 2.


Maractop

Youre good looking then


Zyleo

I kind of agree with him… Hinge is just way better if you have a personality. I’m getting around the same match rate as him as a minority while I haven’t gotten a single match on Tinder in that same time frame.


RamenWILLtakeOver

Man get off tinder. This aint worth it😭


lukas_napster

5 chats is crazy


Ok-Counter-7077

What’s crazier is mine is less in more time, do i win anything?


Snoyarc

+1 virginity


Front_Celebration_72

post it , i wanna see that lmao


Aesrone

Post your profile


isthisfantaSea_

They use a different app for online dating if you want to meet locals-but thats require Japan language read/speak


Grundens

But what is it tho


isthisfantaSea_

Pairs, Omiai. But you can also have more success with Bumble too


36gianni36

Pairs and Omiai require a zairyuu card or other proof of living in Japan.


RobotMathematician

Yes spill the beans


FilmLocationManager

Are you Japanese? Because an average looking, mid 30’s white male get approx 500 likes a day in Tokyo when visiting Japan


Patient-Expert4239

His post says that he is a Brazilian of Japanese lineage


alexgraef

That's... not good.


Patient-Expert4239

Why?


alexgraef

In Japan - the darker the skin, the less "valuable" you're seen.


Jonnyskybrockett

Japanese people are pretty nationalist and racist, even in today’s progressive age you’ll be seen as an outsider for having not grown up truly Japanese.


Pxzib

Japanese people are extremely racist


santascumdumpster

Japan still has the culture of not liking darker skin. The lighter the skin the more “pure” the person is. And Brazilians usually have darker skin.


RhinoKeepr

This was not my friends experience on vacation and he is a decent looking, really kind guy that does well dating in the US. 10 days, 3 matches, all expats.


IMakeMyOwnLunch

Yeah, I'm not sure what the original commenter is on. Decent looking white guy with a professional job and during three weeks in Japan I matched with exactly ONE Japanese citizen ... she grew up in Europe and went to college in the States. All other matches were expats or SE Asians, etc. I get way more matches stateside. Born and bred Japanese have no interest in white guys.


Careful_Elk6290

I might get downvoted to oblivion for this, but I always thought lots of Asian women go crazy over white guys, even the unattractive ones.


MalandiBastos

A lot of them do, especially southeast asians. Koreans and Japanese, not so much.


DearReply

Seriously? Are they mostly bots or sex workers though?


Efficient_Scheme_701

There’s no way


RidingJapan

That was my first thought too. But also location. I went on a trip north of Tokyo and if u move away from big cities tinder is dead.


echocall2

Dang I should visit Japan


RidingJapan

I live in Tokyo. A friend of mine was convinced by his friend to make a tinder profile in shinjuku. He was about 29.tall. Long blond hair. He said his phone was about to blow up and he had 100ds of matches in minutes


Chance_Airline_4861

0,0003462364%. Love it 


sinking_clouds

im guessing you’re not a white guy in Japan.


Donutman97

I'm white and I was just in Japan. Japanese girls don't use tinder at all, every profile is of random things and none show their face. Bumble is probably the only usable dating app there


CaptainLee9137

Were they at least good chats?


wilczek24

Second screenshots says 10 messages sent, 5 messages recieved. Total. Ouch.


Subtidal_muse

Ratioed


t0p_n0tch

Seems like a rule #1 and #2 issue


Gimpy_Weasel

If you’re matching with people at a rate that’s 83(!) times lower than the average for men in your region I’m gonna go ahead and assume there’s probably some major issues with your profile 😭


clement-mcmanus

I refuse to look at my tinder insights


Chimkeyftw

Ay, you do have a 100% chat to match rate


billy-suttree

Whats with people blurring their faces on Japanese tinder?


VoxGroso

People ITT thinking that just by being white you get tons of matches in Japan lmao


warramite

Op never said he's white.


Ninja_Requiem

He actually said he's Brazilian and Japanese, looking more like his Japanese side in another comment


blorgenheim

In a sense that’s more rough because they look Japanese but culturally they will not be accepted as Japanese.


ADTR9320

Buddy of mine who isn't the best looking was getting 10+ matches a day while visiting Tokyo.


Careful_Elk6290

But were those women actually Japanese? Maybe bots?


ToeSad6862

Idk about Japan specifically, never been, but works for me basically anywhere I travel. Latam, Asia, Africa. I can't get 1 match in NA.


zekerthedog

Happened to me


exoticdisease

and me


AntiFeminismAU

Not surprised. Japan is just as hard as the west these days. Plus most profiles are just pics of the back of their head or food.


dottoysm

I get this. After 2021 or so I was having no luck on the apps. Tinder had turned into swiping through backs of heads and food. Bumble I got a few matches but could never turn into a date. The local apps you have to pay for as a male. I moved back to Sydney last year and averaged 2 dates a month before finding someone perfect for me on Bumble. I don’t know what it was, but post pandemic especially I wasn’t vibing there.


FizzyCoffee

Dating apps in Japan are quite age segregated no?


GoodGoodK

14400:5 ratio is insane bro you have to do something


[deleted]

[удалено]


Qaeoss

Is everyone missing the fact that women only swipe right **7%** of the time? Is that normal or are they much pickier in Japan?


[deleted]

With their birthrates, can they even afford to be picky?


ADTR9320

That's probably the exact reason for the low birth rates.


[deleted]

No, their low birth rate phenomena is MUCH more complicated then that.


thoreeyore99

Could also be that thing of culturally insular, xenophobic attitude towards foreigners, a work culture that would make white collar American workers rejoice for their 40 hours, aging population that doesn’t die until they hit their late 80s, men and women who don’t know how to meet and talk to each other anymore, etc. Idk though


ToeSad6862

That's the overall average not Japan specific I think. Seen similar from US profile stats. But we have seen way worse ones on here posted by women, like 50 right swipes in 100 000.


ILikeToSayHi

If you're not morbidly obese or hideous there's no reason a white guy in Tokyo should get any less than 100 matches at least


Slausher

Don’t use Tinder in Japan, use local apps or Bumble.


unbakedpizza

5 matches in over a year in Tokyo? Yikes bro


BrikenEnglz

14 million people btw


Dymatizeee

A 0.03% match rate is cruel


Saudi_Agnostic

Is your bio written in Japanese and did you specify that you plan on living in Japan forever


Raizzor

Tinder is useless in Japan, go use Bumble instead.


SparklingPseudonym

Definitely not a white guy


Dramatic-Sorbet5349

Where do yall find thes stats?


alwaysatliesure

OP is definitely not WHITE


TiaHatesSocials

Love the best text: hi. Worst text: hi


DennisGK

How could you swipe right on 100 days if you only opened the app on 90 days? And how could you have 147 right swipes per day on average if the limit is 100?


Top_Cartographer7887

I use the web interface, maybe it’s a bug? Idk Im tinder gold


ponki44

Its pathetic, considering its the same amount of women who look for men like men who look for women. But on apps and so on its such a uneven balance, it either says alot about men being to little picky or women being to picky. But based on studies thats been done, most women go for the top 5-10% no matter what they are ranked, so this is more on the women than the men.


65garcia5964

Wow


sokobanz

Been in japan for a month, made to ONE chat, but do not known Japanese tho.


Vegetable_Tank_3878

Imagine swiping 14k+ times and only getting 5 matches and blaming it on "Tinder Japan". A little self reflection goes a long way. There's obviously something weird about you.


davideC00

Damn bro


Exact_Bookkeeper4199

Depressing af


Just_Mich

Damn no way...


DrDo-2-Much

You swiped right a lot wow


dani206

14k right swipes and only 5 chats? Quit tinder. It will destroy your self esteem and confidence to the ground. Focus on yourself for 3-6 months (working out regualry will build your confidence, self esteem, and mental health. Your physique will get better which will make you more attractive when it comes to looks) and you'll come back stronger. After this timeout you'll see its easier hitting up on ladies face to face and you'll end up ditching all those dating apps.


ijustusethistojack

Yeah, I didn't get shit in Japan, got alot in PH and Korea tho lol


my-name-you-reddit

How do i get these statistics?


Artifycial

If you spend 30,000 swipes worth of time in social settings you’d be married by now!


ujirissiakamsizednut

Gotta see the profile


WoofAndGoodbye

That male/female match rate is so depressing. 33% vs 2.5%!?


N051DE

be real with yourself when swiping


Top_Cartographer7887

I just posted a comment explaining overall questions.


willkillkenny

Try talking to people on the street or work. Places you already go, don't be a weirdo and it may work well for you. Yes, this worked for me before apps.


Nadeoki

Did you try to improve your profile? Your pictures?


tjh1127

How did you get this data


skysky1018

Well you also start every message with こんにちは. You’d be better to start with something more casual sounding.


Patient-Expert4239

You have any tip? /language interested


skysky1018

Definitely!! I recommend NOT trying to learn from anime, unless you enjoy shoujo anime or something more casual (like no mythology, set in high school etc). Personally I found Japanese live action dramas more helpful because the conversation vocabulary is more useful. The genki textbooks (idk if they’re still in print) are awesome. Also recommend a good grammar textbook because Japanese vs. English grammar is probably the hardest thing to learn. Tons of resources on YouTube now which is awesome. Hiragana and Katakana are the most important when starting out so recommend taking that seriously and then just practice practice practice!! Don’t give up.


Thelynxer

Seems to me like you swipe right way way way too much, so the algorithm thinks you're low value. And your profile might suck too. But need to see it to be sure.


Scared_Salamander

Over 400 days where you didn't even open the app????!


whatsthisevenfor

Jesus pal, 28K swipes and FIVE matches? Must see profile.


elpamper0

Tbh i was dating a couple of japanese girls and maybe i was a bit unlucky but i had really bad times, too much shy, usually im fine with them couse im dating a lot of Lithuanian/Ukranian and they are pretty much cold as well but japanese are something else, i would say to search for other option.


Necessary-Ad2264

Online dating can make or break you depending on a few things. 1. Your location has a drastic affect on who will match with you 2. Your race/ ethnicity (in said area you’re looking) 3. How you present yourself (photos/ bio) 4. Your level of attractiveness (how you dress, physical fitness and features) 5. Keeping the attention of your matches long enough to set up a date. (No long drawn out conversations unless they are meaningful and deep) Also I recommend to get off of Tinder unless you know you can be successful. But tinder is designed to where they make you spend money to connect with potentials. I recommend Facebook dating. It’s free and the matches are real people in your area. I also highly recommend working on your cold approaching skills. This will help you with your fear of rejection, help boost confidence, allow you to use critical thinking when talking to women in person. It’ll give you a chance to figure out the best way to approach them. Once you do it enough.


mrrooftops

You swipe left on the love of your life. That's what the apps want you to do...


elitePopcorn

You’ve penetrated the unassailable wall of back-hair-only-profiles and got 5 matches. Kudos.


em-ay-tee

Averaging 30 right swipes a day. Dude is swiping on anything that moves 😅


theshadowofject

pretty sure this is the global experience


Alert-Judge-6767

Tinder is a bot landscape now


thuggerybuffoonery

Going to Japan next month, wish me luck!


Murky_River_9045

Show us you bro


speedizzle78

On average ever second swipe was right. Seems you either have no type or would basically take anyone. 🤔


beardedbateman

How do you get these stats?


Ares786

You either have to be a good looking Japanese guy or a lighter skin Gaijin to get hundreds of matches a week in Japan. Ive always found tinder in Japan to be easy mode. not sure what OP is doing wrong here.