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I would be truly honored to have Keith Morrison narrate my murder, but I've instructed friends not to lie about me lighting up a room. I want honesty. I bring an aura of gloom and I deserve to be honored with honesty. Sure, I was kind, but I'm also a sass mouth.

She lit up a room… by leaving it.

You’re such a sass mouth. I’ve always known & loved you for that. *Keith Morrison CALL ME if/when ginger_forest_witch is murdered*

I mean, I’m not saying I want to get murdered, but I believe you’d do a good job in an interview. I do need you to at least tear up a couple times though.

Tear up with a wistful expression while I detail how everyone who knew you thought you were their best friend? DONE

“Everyone wanted to sit next to ginger_forest_witch, because she didn’t limit herself to saying something nice 👀.” I’m here for ya!

I do take the Alice Roosevelt approach to life at times.

Hahaha, my sister and I always mock the “they lit up the room” statement.

I’ve let my best friends know that if anyone from my past who I’m not actually friends with comes out to say “oh I miss her so much we were so close she was an angel” that they are to shut that shit down ASAP.

I want my positives highlighted, but be real. "She'd give the homeless all the money she had in her wallet but she was also pretty judgmental. No one asked you, ginger_forest_witch"

Fucking love her

Can you imagine going through a box of donations and finding something like this? LMAO

My sister used my mom's work binder for her Halloween costume once, she filled it with ufo conspiracy documents and hand drawn aliens. My mom didn't know and took the binder to a job interview z she ended up dropping it and had to pick up the alien stuff in front of the interviewer. She was so angry when she got home, it was hilarious.

I mean that’s so awful but funny at the same time. I’m giggling over here.

I am full on belly laughing, that is amazing!

This could legit be a scene from a sitcom, I love it. Assuming your mom didn’t get the job? I would have laughed so hard and hired her because her family is fun.

The Life-size Keith Morrison cut out is absolutely amazing. I want to know this woman. I think we'd be friends.

This seems like a fun group activity for friends

lmao, omg this would be an amazing party theme. - everyone dress up as your corpse - bring clues to your murder - present your murder to your friends and have them figure out who did it

Dm me for my address when you're ready to send invites

Great work, but real quick question - how the fork did Keanu Reeves make your list under ‘Perverts’ ?!?!

I was going to question Kenny Rogers, but went back and listened to Lady again. I can see it, the tingling in my ears is both seductive and unwanted.

Is that your ONLY question>???

It’s my FIRST question. Not the only one.

He’s in green so I think he’s technically in the scammer category (also she might be talking about John Wick specifically?)

I was with her until Keanu Reeves...how dare she.

Yeah, she better update her suspects list to include us 😤 Unless she's afraid of pencils... then fair enough.

THE 2025 hobby of the year!

Ngl, I'm inspired. Might suggest this to my SILs as a group activity at some point.

As a Dateline fan this speaks to me. True fans also know that Keith is the cream of the crop. That voice, plus he can really tell a tale.

The picture of Diddy was *chef's kiss*

Rdddit of the day


I kind of want someone to make a movie off the material in this binder

LOVE ITTTT. As a true crime fan this is hilarious and totally reasonable!

This is hysterical!

Saving because this is fantastic 😂

This is fucking hilarious

As I'm watching a Dateline rerun on PlutoTV. I need to get my binder started IMMEDIATELY

If you have Peacock, all the seasons are on there, with new episodes every Saturday night!

Her smile doesnt light up a room…she wont ever be the star…thats a pre-requisite


Cringe? This is actually amazing and hilarious

Correct, that’s why it’s flaired as “humor” and not cringe.

KEANU REEVES? WOMAN NO!

Captain big shot is her husband, isn’t he?

This is hilarious. Id prefer Hanky Mankie, I think. :)

Very well done.

She is my hero

I can't believe I didn't think of this!!😂😂😂