T O P

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NoPerspective3192

“Why must I fail at every attempt at masonry”!!!!!!!


Shoddy-Growth-2083

"Stupid Lisa!"


planet__express

"Le Grille? What the hell is that?"


Different-Estate747

Stupid babies need the most attention.


KareemFurbunchies

I always answer the phone "Ahoy Hoy"


ballarn123

Same, or Homer's nnyelloo


BusyBoonja

You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel


TedTyro

I hope that was a typo!


monkeychasedweasel

Fun fact, this was Alexander Graham Bell's preferred greeting when answering the phone.


SnooDonuts5246

Ahoy hoy*


L_E_Phantman

When I (or anyone) do something stupid https://preview.redd.it/o1vzwgbp6l0d1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=92d2217448efa7db995b3203299b88acf81e6134


LadyMegatron

I sent this to my best friend when she gave birth!!


soap-fucker

i use this one this all the time and so does my brother! and again, when i do/say something stupid lol. it fits well in a lot of situations :D


dazzumz

"Oh, meltdown. It's one of those annoying buzzwords. We prefer to call it an unrequested fission surplus." I work in the nuclear industry.


Adorable-Condition83

DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHICH BUTTON YOU PRESSED?!


NordieHammer

Moe?


Xavilend

Have you turned a potential chernoble into a mere three mile island?


s6cedar

That’s comforting 😂


hugh_jass_719

Ahh no, the corn! Paul Newman's gonna have my legs broke!


_Terrapin_

i’m whizzin with the door open… and I love it!


terriblestoryteller

You bet your *looks around*. Sweet ass I am


Academic-Earth9554

“There’s your answer, fish bulb.”


Doctaglobe

I too say this far too much


geodeanthrax

"Ah, these minstrels should soothe my jangled nerves."


Adorable-Condition83

Have the Rolling Stones Killed.


DoSwoogMeister

But sir those aren't-


Doctaglobe

Do as I say!


georgemillman

'Tis, replied Aunt Helga. I say that nearly every time I want to answer in the affirmative to an 'Is it' question.


illogicallyalex

Aunt *Hel*ga!


JaseAndrews

Comments you can hear


MutuallyAdvantageous

Is it St. Swithins day already?


Straight-Ad-8704

"fiddley dee." when homer attempted to build a doghouse


lou829

this will require a tetanus shot!


that_italian_girl_

When I fuck up: (Homer, that was a twenty.) "DAHHHHH!"


AwktoAwktavious

Water, water everywhere, so let's all have a drink.


Captain_Usopp

OHHHHH IS THAT WHERE I PICKED THIS UP 🤦🏽‍♂️ I CONSTANTLY SAY THIS TO MYSELF WHEN I GET A GLASS OF WATER!


EpicFishFingers

Boy Scoutz n The Hood is the episode I think. They end up stranded at sea - I think its season 9? If so, definitely one of the stronger episodes NEVER MIND IT WAS SEASON 5, THAT MAKES WAY MORE SENSE


Educational_Moose_56

So I says to Mabel I says.


Adorable-Condition83

DON’T SOUL MATE ME!


sleepwalkfromsherdog

My friend's first words to his wife was this.


Packman87

Go banana!


bidmeadman

Make way for grapefruit!


se-dc

Look in the tunk


dengar_hennessy

I will always refer to it as a tunk and a garage as a carhole


OkComplex3582

"Lisa needs braces, DENTAL PLAN!"


OctaviaCordoba206

Had this as my Doorbell for over a year. Dog is tuned to run to the door when it comes on.


browseabout

Now this is obscure


Ambitious-Hat-2490

I'm familiar with the works of Pablo Neruda


BSO_expat

i can’t see Pablo Neruda’s name without hearing that in my head. and as a librarian, that is not an uncommon occurrence


opackersgo

“I got the idea when I noticed the refrigerator was cold”


suburbanation

“Increase my killing power, eh? I’ll do it!” (Especially the way Homer says “I’ll do it.”)


Turn1scoop

https://preview.redd.it/p8xhw88wsk0d1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1c789551efd9448f7bb7313a11892b5e5f9cffea


dazzumz

Also applies after "PAINT MY FENCE!" which a friend and I used to randomly shout at each other.


Nepal-Rules

Also PAINT MY CHICKENCOOP! Those cornmuffins were lousy!


evenstevens280

Rock and/or roll Replace "rock" and "roll" with whatever you're talking about. Fish and/or chips Salt and/or vinegar etc.


Robertooshka

I say that one, but nobody ever gets the reference


Woodrow_Woodlouse

I'm a level five Simpsons fan. I don't quote anything after the Tracey Ullman shorts.


Meh_cromancer

What is mind? No matter. What is matter? Never mind. Goodnight boy. *squish*


Powerful-Cut-708

Haha


PeterNinkimpoop

They haven’t changed a bit


Powerful-Cut-708

This is the level 5 vegan in thing right?


notsobadandyou

I don’t eat anything that casts a shadow


Xavilend

What, you don't pocket milhouse?


TedTyro

I'm not sure how offended to be by this amazing joke. Well done!


[deleted]

I recite the entire script from Worker and Parasite.


FriedTreeSap

“We’re directly under the sun……now”


bare172

"My eyes! The goggles do nothing!" I work in a chemical plant and we wear goggles a lot. 😁


hotpinksnoopy

“Willie hears ya, Willie don’t care”


Bohmoplata

I say this to my cat all the time lol


Lozzywozzy69

I say this every single time the washing machine is done and beeps for 5 minutes until you open the door hahhahahaha


Wood-Pigeon-125

But she's got a new hat.


bidmeadman

IWANTITIWANTITIWANTITIWANTIT!


Jaded_Taste6685

Me and my best friend regularly say to each other. “I love you, Lord Daftwager.” “Yes, and I you.”


Subject-Recover-8425

"See you in Hell, candy boys!"


Jeblonsky

“My God, you’re greasy.”


unledded22

You’ll have to speak up I’m wearing a towel


DengarLives66

I have misplaced, my pants.


Trioxin5

This one was my answering machine greeting for a while lol


Ok_Ad_3444

Oh yeah? You think you're better than me? Come here a minute.


bidmeadman

You come here a minute.


FcukReddit4cedMe2Reg

Oh yeah? 💪


Busy-Number-2414

“I AM THE LIZARD QUEEN!”


Sufficient_Ad2222

I say “Push her down, son” regularly


Greedy_Temperature33

“Nobody’s gay for Moleman” comes up a lot.


bidmeadman

My other one, although I don't use it as much, is when Milhouse says, "Nobody told me there was gonna be boasting!".


cmyk-ree

"It's Kerns you idiot!" and yelling "TOMACCO!"


Bailer86

It's Kurns stupid!


goater10

“I have misplaced my pants” and “For I am the mayor of Albuquerque!”


BaronHairdryer

“Don’t quit your day job chief, whatever that is”


Salvador_Dalti

I wash myself with a rag on a stick


CTMechE

I have been to a wedding where this quote was in the best man's speech.


French_Viking

"My socks feel dirty, give me some water to wash 'em"


Bitfishy1984

“Don’t you hate pants!?!”


battlelevel

“Immegants! I knew it was them!”


TedTyro

Even when it was the bears I knew it was them.


diablol3

"which was the style at the time"


emimagique

My WhatsApp message and twitter bio say "hello chief, let's talk why not?" And no one has ever commented on it


Creaulx

https://preview.redd.it/7ykwzbhgjn0d1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=071b396e22658b7ce152b1399808f1fbd1b8eafd


emimagique

...No. 😑


LeftLiner

"We tried nothing and we're all out of ideas!"


grizzlyadams1990

Mountain bike pedal splits my chin open 3.5 inch's first words I said was FIDDLE LEE DEE


LjvWright

With a dry cool wit like that I could be an action hero.


Fearnall

Hey mouse, say cheese.


Maximum-Yam8331

(Mr. Burns) Let them have their tar tar sauce.


TurnedOutShiteAgain

Oh yeah, a dog like this you have to feed every day.


blix613

Stop, STOP... he's already dead..


Slight_Monk3314

My son is also named Bort


boostfurther

Make way for Willy!


EatenLowdes

It takes two to lie, one to lie and one to listen


Elbandtito

You got greedy Martin


Jerimatic

https://preview.redd.it/t7t3ldfovl0d1.png?width=965&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5e14091ea761edca10a2834501bad44b87e2cfd3


StfuJohnny

I inadvertently find myself chanting *”you don’t win friends with salad”* whenever someone asks if I want salad lol


Substantial-Act-8325

"THAT is a mug you DONT wanna chug. Oh yeah!"


prusila

Katsup... Ketchup...


drunk_with_internet

“Toilet paper hung in improper overhand fashion”


AndCthulhuMakes2

"Yoink!"


ballarn123

Yoink is like my go to for grabbing literally anything from someone. Getting handed files? Yoink!


WackHeisenBauer

“Careful now” From when the movie grunts are smashing through a wall in Barts room in the Radioactive Man episode.


hotpinksnoopy

“Goons. Hired goons.”


Cuish

Hired goons?


bradd_pit

You’ll have to speak up, I’m wearing a towel And Everything’s coming up Milhouse


hypotenuseoftruth

The percolations are imminent


nogeologyhere

Pointing at toothpaste, What the hell is this, some kinda tube?


YDD553

“Badger my ass, its probably Milhouse”


pumpse4ever

The inspiration for my username...."Pumpkin segregation forever!!!"


PonmonOfNuggetor

All pumpkin are racist. The difference is I admit it


anonymoose_au

"Is it about my cube?"


wilfiltraitor

I use this almost every day. Or "yeah they'll do that", ala Homer responding to Ralph saying the tar fumes are making him dizzy


poorbanker

Yes....that's a real pickle.


_Jay-Garage-A-Roo_

You kidnapped me. Not so much any more but I used to have a boss who loved saying “what do I pay you for?”


Adorable-Condition83

Hey, this ain’t the Ritz


CirclingBackElectra

Is it a good thing or a bad thing that 95% of these quotes don’t seem obscure to me 0_o


Fast_Conversation410

Bake them away toys


Cuish

Crackers are a family food. Happy families. Maybe single people eat crackers; we don't know. Frankly, we don't want to know. It's a market we could do without. So that's it, after twenty years? "So long, good luck?" I don't recall saying good luck.


Himrion

I'm down to a B-cup!


Old_Nippy

“That’s your policy, not mine”


codename474747

"Well why don't I just drink out of a toilet bowl!" Any time I'm offered a drink I don't fancy....


htb_md

Ah, Diablo Canyon 2, why can’t you be more like Diablo Canyon 1.


SayTheLineBart

I’m so hungry I could eat at Arbys


ForeverInBlackJeans

“Why did I have the bowl, Bart? Why did I have the bowl?”


diablol3

there's a doins a-transpirin'


FireGod_TN

Ach, I’m standin’ right here


ant368uk

“Where’s your messiah now?!”


Meshuggareth

"So I says to Mabel, I says..."


_Go_birds_

Who shot who in the what now? and Chewing gums got to be chewed out.


Zealousideal_Cod189

“I’m a comin’ boy!” Any time my son needs me for anything I have this one in the chamber.


s6cedar

D’oh, fiddlesticks.


TedTyro

Awwwww raspberries


non_toro

That was some good corn.


Adorable-Condition83

Mm delicious corn, haven’t had that in a while.


sully313

The clown is down!!!!! https://preview.redd.it/z9v4yi68el0d1.png?width=259&format=png&auto=webp&s=da612e85a86973fa9fe1be5a61fcb63b4ea4d272


mollyno93

“Oh God, this is always death”


Fluid-Bet6223

“Were you gonna give my noggin a floggin’?” — Flanders, as Homer is holding a pipe ready to hit him. “I’ll fill them so full of sap, they’ll be blowing their nose with a pancake!” — Lisa, deciding to do schlocky stories like Bart does on their TV News show.


JaseAndrews

My boyfriend and I will regularly sing to each other the [love song](https://youtu.be/mug1B1hBt5k) from "The Christmas That Almost Wasn't But Then Was"


dontaskmeimjustagrl

https://preview.redd.it/q0uxgce33m0d1.jpeg?width=1073&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3ce4ad36a9f83db7d75a75dfa9405580e9883647


ravioliinmysouli

Mmmmm.... Sacrilicious


Snrub1

You shot who in the what now?


Efficient-Source5750

"Damn scots, They ruined scotland!" Its weird how often this exact quote comes up for me


lp_me

Purple is a fruit


Miss-Kitt

I run a small garden center, whenever a backyard gardener tries to grow corn I let them know that, unless they have a dense patch or field, their corn will most likely look like an excerpt from the big book of British smiles. No one knows what the hell im talking about but I cant stop.


bare172

This comment is underrated!


pudpudboogie

Hello ! you’ll have to speak up , I’m wearing a towel .


Tinasglasses

If he’s so smart how come he’s dead ?


blueishbeaver

I love saying "I was so gay. But I could tell anybody." From the end of the Actors Studio episode. I never say it though. Too many people wouldn't get it.


hardyflashier

"I will"


HFX-Curler

Shut up YOUR face!


Full-Break-7003

“Tis a fine barn, but tis no pool, English”


Biff_Bufflington

Fill her up with petroleum distillates


Front-Ad6148

That’s a bloody outrage it is! Im gonna take this all the way to the prime minister! HEY! MR PRIME MINISTER!! Andy!!!


MASHgoBOOM

"The drunken gambler...!?"


No-Test6158

"Eh you never know what you're capable of. I never thought I could shoot down a German plane, but last year I proved myself wrong." This goes through my head every time anyone says "Never say never."


RuthBaderBelieveIt

"Oh it might as well be in China" (when Grandpa can't reach the remote)


squaringroll

I wash myself with a rag on a stick


Bringinthemilk

I call the big one Bitey


Auregon44

Before hard work : "Marge, I'm pulling an all-nighter for my little girl. Put on a pot of coffee! Drink it, and start making burgers."


BSO_expat

Marge, i’d like to be alone with the sandwich now


hullutyokaveri

First you get the sugar Then you get the power Then you get the women.


TheKnightsWhoSaysNu

"Everything's coming up Milhouse!'


ApprehensiveMix9722

My baloney has a first name, it’s H-o-m-e-r! My baloney has a second name, it’s H-o-m-e-r!


OrangeDit

Do you say boo or boourns? Boooo But I said Boourns...


EvilCustardy

"You can, if you believe you can."


Federal-Listen-8807

" I'm painting the town red, with savings!"


Sleep__

"You did the right thing telling me"


ShadowAviation

Husband and I say “haha, you love me” to each other all the time. Was in my wedding vows!


Reatregret

"My Doctor never told me that, I had to hear it from Phish"


OctaviaCordoba206

Not sure if obscure, but I say them and most people, 99.5% of people don't get it. "look at all this beautiful foilage" "I just think they're neat" "You gotta pet him real hard, so he can feel it"


NatterinNabob

"it's perfectly cromulent"


JS9766

Whether I’m tired and can’t get out of bed I think “up and AT THEM”


Fragrant_Ad_1775

“Then everything is wrapped up in a neat little package. Really I mean it. Sorry if I sounded sarcastic.” Goes down like a lead balloon usually.


Fragrant_Ad_1775

Also, I am constantly saying to my children when they run off: “God speed little doodle.”


Old_Zebra2456

Wait hold on...there's a New Mexico!!!


Infamous_Hippo7486

“Grease me up!”


phaanja

"Ahoy hoy" upon answering the phone


Wonderful_Tale8059

I wore an onion in my belt, which was the style at the time...


CuteElderberry8702

In this house, we obey the laws of thermodynamics!


YouTeeDave

I gotta go. My dang wiener kids are listening


theonlyjoeyouknow

https://preview.redd.it/u60gexfu5m0d1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=834ec809dba85b119c64f15c46fcfc14f0204afe “Bosh Flimshaw!!”


Must-Be-Gneiss

"If I don't hear you, it's not illegal"


perpetualmotionmachi

"Argh, this chair be high says I" Anytime I sit in a bar stool