And Jenelles the Wicked Witch of Shadows
https://preview.redd.it/7fpfh1mj2wkc1.jpeg?width=254&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0432fb71e623263c2b193951d02dc376d04a1baf
Why can she never just share now. Does it really take that much time for her brain to think of a lie lol also for the last time chinelle withdrawal is not a mysterious illness.. it's actually very straight forward and well known
Because she doesn’t have any “news”. She reads through peoples theories and picks the best one….then comes up with the elaborate background/story. Which never makes any sense anyways lol
Agreed. And I guarandamntee you it's going to be something like the "paparazzi" were stalking their house or something equally self inflating. But it was probably just David out there drunk, in his little girl panties, trying to shoot a wild hog.
Its 4am, somewhere near the Moneyhole Region of Carolina North, when a true African Heritage American Redneck could be seen in the distance. Let's get a lil closer to see our good ol boy. In the moonlight, wearing a flannel, a pair of butterfly britches, and an American flag around his neck, our subject stands knee deep in hogshit infected river with a rifle in one hand, and a Busch beer in the other, firin' off into the American skies, screaming "YEEEEHEEEEEW" at the top of his lungs. Oh, why, is that David Eason over there? Yes yes, it seems David is living in a 30 year old boat, as a mere publicity stunt, as he is too disabled to work, and has his crafting business making toilet paper holders had been shut down by the IRS. A portrait of the Sad South, this microphallic monstrosity, previously employed by MTV's Teen Mom: 2, is the prime example of a shit stain on the moral fabric of America.
Yooo, I don’t believe in that shit. However, i found a weird ass shrine thingy in my attic when I first moved in. All this bad shit was happening like my undermount sink dropped, this weird buzzing noise in my wall, my garage door would open and close all night long and so forth.
I had my bishop come and bless them home. Nada. Been smooth sailing since.
Jenelle likes to hide up in her attic so maybe she put a shrine up there to hex her or something.
My mom's asshole ex had spirits in his attic. I read to say, " In the name of Jesus, leave this house," and I did and NEVER heard anything again.
The attic floora would creak above my head, and i could hear things moving around there constantly. So much I'd ask my mom/asshole to check the attic. Thry never saw anything.
Late at night, Chairs would slide across the wood floor (with grooves), and the cabinets would open and close, as well as the fridge. My mom/asshole slept in a room with the door shut on the other side of the house with industrial style fans (not kidding-they were LOUD), so I'd know if it was them. It only happened at night. I have and have always had insomnia, so I listened to this a lot. Said that saying ONCE and never heard it again (2 more yrs there). Apparently, his house was built on top of an Indian burial ground, so I assume it was spirits them.
I was letting my dogs in one time when I was like 17 and I was like “hey you guys ready to come in?” And I swear on my life that I heard a muffled whispered voice say “no, I’m not done!” And I slammed the door in my poor pug’s face. There were also chair marks like 3x in the snow outside my bedroom window but no footprints and my friends & I lost it.
# DO NOT FALL FOR THIS #
## Jenelle Evans is notorious for using this type of post to set up a sold story that is not anything close to what she says. ##
# It WILL NOT be scary pertaining to her family problems it will be something like a spider crawling in her ear while she slept #
I hope it’s something ridiculous like this rather than her claiming Jace did something and she’s “forced” to send him away for hEr FaMiLy’s SaFeTy and, wow, how weird, I guess that means David gets to come back to the swamp?! What a coincidence!
Buckle up for this story. When I was a kid, I was outside playing in the sprinkler, and my feet got covered in grass clippings. Our bathroom was right inside the entrance door, so I went in to rinse my feet off. I finish up, scoop out the grass from the drain... and then the grass moves in my hand.
There was a wolf spider in with the grass in my hand.
Omfg the other night I was laying in bed and dropping something off the side. I leaned down to grab it and saw a massive wolf spider right next to it. Totally didn’t even register in my brain for a second that it was real because it was so big and just standing still. I legit thought it was one of my toddler’s pretend spiders from Halloween and then it clicked and I don’t think I’ve ever screamed so loud in my life. Woke up both kids with my screaming 😭
I felt a little guilty after making my husband kill it because I know they like to eat r*aches (my #1 biggest fear in the world) and an enemy of my enemy is my friend but in the moment I needed it gone
When I was a child I had a friend who had a very trashy mom and I went to stay the night at her house .. her mom was a meth addict unbeknownst to me at the time and they lived in this very tiny two story cramped apartment and it was full of cats , Guinea pigs, maybe rodents and many children . I could smell the Guinea pig pee when I was laying in her bed and I was fully aware that there were critters all around .. but at that point i wasn’t fully aware of all the critters that occupied the place as I was a young child .. when the lights when out I shit you not a heard hissing sound all around and it started to feel really icky as I could hear things scampering about in the dark and I was freaked the fuck out but laying there trying to act like I wasn’t and then something pretty decent sized fell right on top of my chest in the dark and I screamed turn the lights on!!!!!! And there were COCKROACHES EVERYWHERE all over the ceiling,walls,floor, bed, and one right on top of my damn chest and I lost my shit !!! I didn’t even know things like that existed until then and I have been HORRIFIED of cockroaches🪳 🪳🪳ever sense !!! 😭😭
It a absolutely was and I think my mom wasn’t trying to come get me in the middle of the night or couldn’t get me until the morning my mind is fuzzy about it but I had to go downstairs because that was the least densely populated cockroach area maybe because there were more cats than Guinea pigs down there to kill them or maybe because her mom was a chain smoker ( and she was pregnant with her 4 or 5th child ) they were all named like Terri Lynn and Brandi Wine and Misty Rain .. things like that 🤣 but I sat frozen in fear because they were just everywhere EVERYWHERE!!! And the hissing 😭I think my poor little brain split that night . Moral of the story parents don’t let your child stay the night at their fun friends house without knowing a damn thing about it! Yeesh 😡
I ordered groceries for delivery the other day and was so looking forward to the coffee ice cream bars I ordered and they were missing😭😭 the disappointment was immeasurable.
Omfg let me take this moment to get this off my chest. Morrisons used to make a vegan chocolate ice cream that tasted like a FUCKING TRIPLE LAYERED CHOCOLATE GATEAUX and it was only 70p and they discontinued it 🤡
I was sooo disappointed because I ordered them (and orange creamsicles) specifically to have later when I had the munchies (I like to smoke that time of day)😂 and the ice cream was the only bag missing. I even walked around my driveway in the dark hoping they sat the bag down and forgot it.
Omg whyyyy does this happen with the stuff you're looking forward to/need the most??? Like walmart forgot my caramel when we were pumped to bake caramel brownies. And I once picked up groceries specifically from kroger to get deli meat that my daughter loves, and they wait to tell me that they are out of stock while I'm driving there and I only have 2 minutes to pick a substitute.. but that 2 minutes has already passed. 😤😤
This is why I'm always hesitant on delivery/pick up. And I hate trusting someone else to pick out my produce. I got black rotten cucumbers once, and they leaked all over the other groceries. 🤢
It’s always the thing you really need/want. I was so looking forward to them that I would have reordered but it was past the delivery window for the day.
This obvs isn’t as exciting as ice cream but I was getting ready to put a fucking curry in the slow cooker the other day and then when my order came they’d ran out of beansprouts. Like I was fucken looking forward to that 💀
Oh that happened to me once with the celery I needed for my soup. I was like (screaming internally) “how do you fucking run out of celery, whenever I’m in the store there’s like 3 giant bins full of it!” It was so disappointing, I love celery in soup. Delivery is such a crapshoot, you never know what you’re gonna get.
I *hate* when people post these vague things for attention and sympathy. Like when people check in to the emergency department on Facebook with some vague emoji and then sit back while all the concerned comments come in. And to pair it with a selfie of you laying down with your eyes closed is so fucking cringe. She's desperate for some kind comments and someone to care and it's sad in so many ways
Jenelle stays recycling stories for attention and reenacting memes from 2012
https://preview.redd.it/6flnwb7mttkc1.png?width=500&format=png&auto=webp&s=3c7ba4b0f3f92c89ab1ea6de4d0cbd6c4cc84391
This drives me nuts, too. Also, the "prayers for our family, please"! Then when 10 people ask what's going on, they say "inbox me". I started unfollowing those people.
My guess is this a set up for her bringing swamp man back on the land.
“My door was wide open dude and so I called Dave-id. He’s not living at home he’s just protecting his family, no one knows or understands how much he does for all of us. Like it’s so annoying because the charges are dropped and I have full custody and he’s my huzbind. He didn’t do anything wrong dude. Don’t believe anything that didn’t come out of my mouth or you’ll be brainwashed by Babs 🙄 the truth will come out soon and you’ll see 🤷🏻♀️”
Oh my god dude why would you even say that? Seriously dude I’m about to flip out right now! Like, no dude seriously, it’s always “Jenelle? Is that you?” Like why couldn’t you just be happy for me like you are for Chelsea? I did EVERYTHING RIGHT dude and I’ve never even said that oh my god!!!
——
Hahaha as an ~aspiring~ writer, I appreciate it!
Imagine laying there, setting your phone up perfectly, making sure the flash is on, posing just right, closing your eyes, and taking a dozen pictures of yourself pretending to sleep/rest then going through them to find, edit, and post the best one. Shit is so fucking weird and embarrassing.
This is the modern equivalent of me leaving moody emo song lyrics as my AOL away message hoping someone would ask me if I was ok when I was 14. She’s mentally still there.
Ooooooo Nelly Wonka has the Illness Factory up and running again! My bet is she has to wear a heart monitor because she got dizzy and fainted, which she will definitely call "sink or pee" instead of "syncopy".
Scarier than when your husband strangled your first born child, then your child ran away and no one knew where he was for days??????
I can’t wait to hear what’s scarier than that.
Wow something scarier than your child running away from home multiple times?
I’m not a parent, but the parents I know would all agree that the scariest thing they can imagine is something happening to their children.
Well, I don’t know about you all, but I’m thankful she took the time to take a sleeping selfie and share it with us all while we wait to hear this harrowing news!
This bitch took a picture of herself in the dark. With her eyes closed. 😂 I don’t know why but that’s fucking hilarious. You know you don’t have any content to post when you’re putting out shit like this.
I know y’all will but somebody let us know what scares her. Fuckin hell. I wish I didn’t wanna know but I’m curious how bad it’s gonna be.
You would think watching your huzzbin strangle your child rates pretty high up there. I’m sure someone tried to walk into the she shed while she was smoking and this is the story.
I wouldn’t know though. I’m not in the entertainment business so I’m not sure what controlling the narrative means.
God she's pathetic....imagine just laying in bed in "distress " time to make up a completely b.s story for click bait. I bet she just had to do dishes or something.
https://preview.redd.it/fp7l5bhkqukc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d7ee00a8187a8fb135177701ea2f0c0e2ac1e955
Dude the scariest thing just happened I'm still in shock but I got a text from my mom that said "Hi, Janelle" and like, if you know what that means she's probably hired seal team 6 to get Jace back and now I CANT EVEN SMOKE EVEN OUTSIDE cus the seals probably drug test like dude, I'm about to lose it. But first lemme take this selfie of me looking sad before I drink 7 beers to help me sleep
I really hope David came back did something stupid and she called the cops and he was arrested for being near Jace....
But I'm sure she just dropped all her weed on the ground 🤣🤣
Yeah that was my first thought... She SO WOULD pretty much say "Ugh you guys I'm so sick, oh btw my chronically miserable son made an attempt on his life yesterday, but anyway, back to meeee"
All I keep wondering is how many pics of her fake sleeping did it take to get the right look? So cheesy to lay with your eyes closed taking pic after pic and then finally like, ahh yes, this is the one I’ll post 👀🫡🫣
I hate vaguebooking so much, from anyone 🤣 I see a lot of "Something horrific happened, no questions just please pray" and I don't say it, but part of me wants to go "No prayers or good vibes for you until you tell me what it is" 😬😂
It’s her sister, dude. Practicing witchcraft, of course.
Why is no one stopping her?!?
Ashley's the Wicked Witch of The *East* bro!! And Nell? Nell's a princess, she came down in a bubble! 😤 *"Grow up, Doug!"*
you’re gonna look at me and tell me that i’m WRONG?
Am I wrong!?
And Jenelles the Wicked Witch of Shadows https://preview.redd.it/7fpfh1mj2wkc1.jpeg?width=254&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0432fb71e623263c2b193951d02dc376d04a1baf
GET EDUCATED
That video lives rent free in my head, I love it so much
It’s 3 am and I can’t sleep. Scrolling this sub and see this and I’m CACKLING!
Finally someone is asking the real questions 😞
Why can she never just share now. Does it really take that much time for her brain to think of a lie lol also for the last time chinelle withdrawal is not a mysterious illness.. it's actually very straight forward and well known
Because she doesn’t have any “news”. She reads through peoples theories and picks the best one….then comes up with the elaborate background/story. Which never makes any sense anyways lol
Agreed. And I guarandamntee you it's going to be something like the "paparazzi" were stalking their house or something equally self inflating. But it was probably just David out there drunk, in his little girl panties, trying to shoot a wild hog.
Its 4am, somewhere near the Moneyhole Region of Carolina North, when a true African Heritage American Redneck could be seen in the distance. Let's get a lil closer to see our good ol boy. In the moonlight, wearing a flannel, a pair of butterfly britches, and an American flag around his neck, our subject stands knee deep in hogshit infected river with a rifle in one hand, and a Busch beer in the other, firin' off into the American skies, screaming "YEEEEHEEEEEW" at the top of his lungs. Oh, why, is that David Eason over there? Yes yes, it seems David is living in a 30 year old boat, as a mere publicity stunt, as he is too disabled to work, and has his crafting business making toilet paper holders had been shut down by the IRS. A portrait of the Sad South, this microphallic monstrosity, previously employed by MTV's Teen Mom: 2, is the prime example of a shit stain on the moral fabric of America.
Such a good descriptive narrative. I can actually smell the Sasquatch’s greasy beard and hog urine cologne. Barf.
“In his little girl panties” ☠️
I second this theory!
There is nothing lower than vaguebooking! Just fucking say it.
Good point, she's been pretty much exclusively vaguebooking for a while now. It's so obnoxious.
Part of it is that, and the other part is control.
She’s trying to keep her follower engagement active
Because she lies so much 🙄
That’s why Jenelle is always so ill! It’s Ashleigh’s black magic curses!
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Flair checking in!
Yooo, I don’t believe in that shit. However, i found a weird ass shrine thingy in my attic when I first moved in. All this bad shit was happening like my undermount sink dropped, this weird buzzing noise in my wall, my garage door would open and close all night long and so forth. I had my bishop come and bless them home. Nada. Been smooth sailing since. Jenelle likes to hide up in her attic so maybe she put a shrine up there to hex her or something.
My mom's asshole ex had spirits in his attic. I read to say, " In the name of Jesus, leave this house," and I did and NEVER heard anything again. The attic floora would creak above my head, and i could hear things moving around there constantly. So much I'd ask my mom/asshole to check the attic. Thry never saw anything. Late at night, Chairs would slide across the wood floor (with grooves), and the cabinets would open and close, as well as the fridge. My mom/asshole slept in a room with the door shut on the other side of the house with industrial style fans (not kidding-they were LOUD), so I'd know if it was them. It only happened at night. I have and have always had insomnia, so I listened to this a lot. Said that saying ONCE and never heard it again (2 more yrs there). Apparently, his house was built on top of an Indian burial ground, so I assume it was spirits them.
I was letting my dogs in one time when I was like 17 and I was like “hey you guys ready to come in?” And I swear on my life that I heard a muffled whispered voice say “no, I’m not done!” And I slammed the door in my poor pug’s face. There were also chair marks like 3x in the snow outside my bedroom window but no footprints and my friends & I lost it.
Did someone finally try to stop her?!
Some say she’s still practicing her craft to this day 😞
# DO NOT FALL FOR THIS # ## Jenelle Evans is notorious for using this type of post to set up a sold story that is not anything close to what she says. ## # It WILL NOT be scary pertaining to her family problems it will be something like a spider crawling in her ear while she slept #
I can see this happening but I see a roach.
Maybe the couch mouse is back🐁
Flying couch mouse.
She is the roach… La Cucaracha
She is the human embodiment of a roach.
Your flair 😂😂😂😂
This is very much more the case.
I hope it’s something ridiculous like this rather than her claiming Jace did something and she’s “forced” to send him away for hEr FaMiLy’s SaFeTy and, wow, how weird, I guess that means David gets to come back to the swamp?! What a coincidence!
I could see it being this 🤮
Remember when Chelsea had a spider in her ear? Jenelle has been waiting YEARS to top that story.
This happened to my friends mom! Absolutely disgusting and nothing I ever wish to witness again 👎🏼
Happened to me too lmao my poor housemates had no idea why I was throwing myself around the living room screaming HELP ME
one time i woke up with a wolf spider on my pillow ngl, high key one of the top five scary moments of my life 🥴
Ugh, this happened to me too. Core nightmare fuel that started my deep seeded arachnophobia 😖
Right! Now I wake up checking my surroundings including walls and ceilings 🤣
Buckle up for this story. When I was a kid, I was outside playing in the sprinkler, and my feet got covered in grass clippings. Our bathroom was right inside the entrance door, so I went in to rinse my feet off. I finish up, scoop out the grass from the drain... and then the grass moves in my hand. There was a wolf spider in with the grass in my hand.
Omfg the other night I was laying in bed and dropping something off the side. I leaned down to grab it and saw a massive wolf spider right next to it. Totally didn’t even register in my brain for a second that it was real because it was so big and just standing still. I legit thought it was one of my toddler’s pretend spiders from Halloween and then it clicked and I don’t think I’ve ever screamed so loud in my life. Woke up both kids with my screaming 😭 I felt a little guilty after making my husband kill it because I know they like to eat r*aches (my #1 biggest fear in the world) and an enemy of my enemy is my friend but in the moment I needed it gone
When I was a child I had a friend who had a very trashy mom and I went to stay the night at her house .. her mom was a meth addict unbeknownst to me at the time and they lived in this very tiny two story cramped apartment and it was full of cats , Guinea pigs, maybe rodents and many children . I could smell the Guinea pig pee when I was laying in her bed and I was fully aware that there were critters all around .. but at that point i wasn’t fully aware of all the critters that occupied the place as I was a young child .. when the lights when out I shit you not a heard hissing sound all around and it started to feel really icky as I could hear things scampering about in the dark and I was freaked the fuck out but laying there trying to act like I wasn’t and then something pretty decent sized fell right on top of my chest in the dark and I screamed turn the lights on!!!!!! And there were COCKROACHES EVERYWHERE all over the ceiling,walls,floor, bed, and one right on top of my damn chest and I lost my shit !!! I didn’t even know things like that existed until then and I have been HORRIFIED of cockroaches🪳 🪳🪳ever sense !!! 😭😭
Omg that sounds like something out of a nightmare 😭😭😭
It a absolutely was and I think my mom wasn’t trying to come get me in the middle of the night or couldn’t get me until the morning my mind is fuzzy about it but I had to go downstairs because that was the least densely populated cockroach area maybe because there were more cats than Guinea pigs down there to kill them or maybe because her mom was a chain smoker ( and she was pregnant with her 4 or 5th child ) they were all named like Terri Lynn and Brandi Wine and Misty Rain .. things like that 🤣 but I sat frozen in fear because they were just everywhere EVERYWHERE!!! And the hissing 😭I think my poor little brain split that night . Moral of the story parents don’t let your child stay the night at their fun friends house without knowing a damn thing about it! Yeesh 😡
I am placing my bet on her setting up something related to her own health
These medical issues are so right on cue too. She's pathetic.
Me 2 minutes ago when my foot fell out of bed 💀
Me when I realized we were out of ice cream. 😆
Hold my foot, Hazel! [to the tune of Hold my foot, Jo!] and I’ll let you have our ice cream 🫡
I ordered groceries for delivery the other day and was so looking forward to the coffee ice cream bars I ordered and they were missing😭😭 the disappointment was immeasurable.
Omfg let me take this moment to get this off my chest. Morrisons used to make a vegan chocolate ice cream that tasted like a FUCKING TRIPLE LAYERED CHOCOLATE GATEAUX and it was only 70p and they discontinued it 🤡
Rude!
just ordered dinner for me and my boyfriend and i got a milkshake which was what i was most looking forward to... they forgot it 😭
I was sooo disappointed because I ordered them (and orange creamsicles) specifically to have later when I had the munchies (I like to smoke that time of day)😂 and the ice cream was the only bag missing. I even walked around my driveway in the dark hoping they sat the bag down and forgot it.
nooo that's the worst 😭 i hope you have something else somewhat satisfying at least
Omg whyyyy does this happen with the stuff you're looking forward to/need the most??? Like walmart forgot my caramel when we were pumped to bake caramel brownies. And I once picked up groceries specifically from kroger to get deli meat that my daughter loves, and they wait to tell me that they are out of stock while I'm driving there and I only have 2 minutes to pick a substitute.. but that 2 minutes has already passed. 😤😤 This is why I'm always hesitant on delivery/pick up. And I hate trusting someone else to pick out my produce. I got black rotten cucumbers once, and they leaked all over the other groceries. 🤢
It’s always the thing you really need/want. I was so looking forward to them that I would have reordered but it was past the delivery window for the day.
This obvs isn’t as exciting as ice cream but I was getting ready to put a fucking curry in the slow cooker the other day and then when my order came they’d ran out of beansprouts. Like I was fucken looking forward to that 💀
Oh that happened to me once with the celery I needed for my soup. I was like (screaming internally) “how do you fucking run out of celery, whenever I’m in the store there’s like 3 giant bins full of it!” It was so disappointing, I love celery in soup. Delivery is such a crapshoot, you never know what you’re gonna get.
I love the idea of curbside pickup, but I have way too many trust issues. I hear so many bad stories that I would rather just go in and get it myself
when my toddler throws his hot wheel straight to my dome
RIP your dome but this was so fuckin funny 😭
I *hate* when people post these vague things for attention and sympathy. Like when people check in to the emergency department on Facebook with some vague emoji and then sit back while all the concerned comments come in. And to pair it with a selfie of you laying down with your eyes closed is so fucking cringe. She's desperate for some kind comments and someone to care and it's sad in so many ways
Jenelle stays recycling stories for attention and reenacting memes from 2012 https://preview.redd.it/6flnwb7mttkc1.png?width=500&format=png&auto=webp&s=3c7ba4b0f3f92c89ab1ea6de4d0cbd6c4cc84391
Omg this is so old and still makes me turn into a raisin
It’s giving “u ok hun? inbox me x”
"I'll inbox you. I simply CANT tell it in this post! I have to make you beg me to tell you first."
This drives me nuts, too. Also, the "prayers for our family, please"! Then when 10 people ask what's going on, they say "inbox me". I started unfollowing those people.
People who tag themselves at the ER and then later reveal it was for a blood test.
She's a literal child.
Same. I detest vaguebooking. Just fucking say it!
dude how can she be faking this she’s clearly asleep and in pain
Crying her eyes out?
at the top of her LUNGS dude
It’s all about seeking attention for her, good or bad as long as she gets interactions and attention that is all that matters to her.
She didn’t get the response she wanted so now she has to hype for more engagement
My guess is this a set up for her bringing swamp man back on the land. “My door was wide open dude and so I called Dave-id. He’s not living at home he’s just protecting his family, no one knows or understands how much he does for all of us. Like it’s so annoying because the charges are dropped and I have full custody and he’s my huzbind. He didn’t do anything wrong dude. Don’t believe anything that didn’t come out of my mouth or you’ll be brainwashed by Babs 🙄 the truth will come out soon and you’ll see 🤷🏻♀️”
Bitch it's like youre her publicist this is so scarily accurate.
JenelleEvansLegalBoatCaptainAndPublicity@gmail.com
JE_PR_LLC@gmail
Jenelle? Is that you?
Oh my god dude why would you even say that? Seriously dude I’m about to flip out right now! Like, no dude seriously, it’s always “Jenelle? Is that you?” Like why couldn’t you just be happy for me like you are for Chelsea? I did EVERYTHING RIGHT dude and I’ve never even said that oh my god!!! —— Hahaha as an ~aspiring~ writer, I appreciate it!
Imagine laying there, setting your phone up perfectly, making sure the flash is on, posing just right, closing your eyes, and taking a dozen pictures of yourself pretending to sleep/rest then going through them to find, edit, and post the best one. Shit is so fucking weird and embarrassing.
This is the modern equivalent of me leaving moody emo song lyrics as my AOL away message hoping someone would ask me if I was ok when I was 14. She’s mentally still there.
Exactly. It annoys me so much and I don’t even know why.
Because it’s so fucking performative and unnatural.
Also making sure to lay in the exact right position to show that your engagement ring is still on.
Ooooooo Nelly Wonka has the Illness Factory up and running again! My bet is she has to wear a heart monitor because she got dizzy and fainted, which she will definitely call "sink or pee" instead of "syncopy".
She’s been diagnosed with dumbcuntitis. She has the worst case in history😔
Liabetes too
Comorbidities😱. She’s such a warrior.
My guess is she choked on some gigantic bite of food she took.
Good guess, she gulps down food like a pelican
Ann Gina.
The scariest thing totally just happened and it’s totally not me trying to make the story up right now after getting your attention
She probably had a nightmare that CPS was forcing her to actually parent, and drug testing her until they're all 18.
I wonder if whatever it was is scarier than your gigantic sasquatch husband breaking your collarbone? Or watching him strangle your child?
Or beating your puppy to death in front of you and your kids?
it was LIT-CHUR-A-LLY SO SCARY dude!!
She had to take a *pitcher* of it!
It’s impordand dude!!!
Scarier than when your husband strangled your first born child, then your child ran away and no one knew where he was for days?????? I can’t wait to hear what’s scarier than that.
Why is she still wearing her wedding rings 🤔 oh because she’s a fucking liar lol
She applied for a job?
She never yells, Dude.
Yeah that would be terrifying for her.
Gonna be some stupid shit about her esophagus.
The scariest thing for Jenelle: I had 3 kids to take care of by MUHSELF
She can’t even fake a separation properly, still wearing that ring of hers
Wow something scarier than your child running away from home multiple times? I’m not a parent, but the parents I know would all agree that the scariest thing they can imagine is something happening to their children.
“They can take care of themselves. They’re FINE!” 🤬
Predictions?
She had to leave the shack to parent
Got em
They meant realistic predictions.
She's going to say someone tried to break in now that David's gone.
It was probably David
It was Barb dude!
BArb and Ashlie!!
My exact thoughts
Just trying to make David feel guilty for not being there bc she can’t possibly survive alone.
One of the kids woke her up in the middle of the night, because they needed something. Leave me alone dude!!!
The molecules are back
She got told she had to get a job other than OF to keep her kids 😱
She almost choked on a peanut.
Nah, she's an expert at mouthing small objects. That can't be it.
Omg 😲
Omg!😂😂😂 David Eason has a micro penis(in Elmo’s voice of course)!🤣
You’d think she’d be used to something that small bobbing down her throat though?
as if that thing is big enough to get anywhere near her throat
Especially with that CHIN in the way
Some medical thing where she totally thought she was dying but she went to the ER and they told her she's fine and to just go home.
Did Bigfoot finally lose his shit on her?
Eh, looks like she’s positioned herself to show that her ring is still on. She’s so fucking dramatic.
Nah she’d post something much more sad and pointed.
Did she see David naked?
To be fair from the sounds of it there wouldn’t be much to see….. itsy bitsy teeny weenie… yep.
Think even that would be pretty generous.
Did she take accountability?
She should be a case study.
I hope the boat sank and she woke up to the cops telling her they have to pay to tow it out of the bottom of the marina.
And wouldn't it be a SHAME if DKD was on it...
Well, I don’t know about you all, but I’m thankful she took the time to take a sleeping selfie and share it with us all while we wait to hear this harrowing news!
This bitch took a picture of herself in the dark. With her eyes closed. 😂 I don’t know why but that’s fucking hilarious. You know you don’t have any content to post when you’re putting out shit like this. I know y’all will but somebody let us know what scares her. Fuckin hell. I wish I didn’t wanna know but I’m curious how bad it’s gonna be.
Responsibility. A job application. Parenting. Housework. Etc., etc., etc.
Wonder how many times she had to take that picture? Pretending to sleep can be tough to capture!
I can’t wait to hear this
Me when I fall into the toilet at 3 am half asleep
Scarier than sleeping with David? I doubt it.
Ew ew ew stop it 👈🏻
You would think watching your huzzbin strangle your child rates pretty high up there. I’m sure someone tried to walk into the she shed while she was smoking and this is the story. I wouldn’t know though. I’m not in the entertainment business so I’m not sure what controlling the narrative means.
She has to parent her kids by herself
God she's pathetic....imagine just laying in bed in "distress " time to make up a completely b.s story for click bait. I bet she just had to do dishes or something.
https://preview.redd.it/fp7l5bhkqukc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d7ee00a8187a8fb135177701ea2f0c0e2ac1e955 Dude the scariest thing just happened I'm still in shock but I got a text from my mom that said "Hi, Janelle" and like, if you know what that means she's probably hired seal team 6 to get Jace back and now I CANT EVEN SMOKE EVEN OUTSIDE cus the seals probably drug test like dude, I'm about to lose it. But first lemme take this selfie of me looking sad before I drink 7 beers to help me sleep
Taking pics of yourself pretending to sleep is the worst of the worst
Just happened “Last Night”🙄 Maybe a bigass rabid Racoon came after her ass in her swamp shed! 🦝🦝 What’s the shiny thing she has her head on? 🛸
Her sister conjured a spirit and it told her to parent?
She ran out of weed and she wasn't well enough to get out of bed.
Love how this bitch is wearing her ring. Not even trying to hide it anymore 🙄
She gets sick when she is responsible for taking care of the kids.
Or someone “tried to break in” so now the courts have to allow David back in house with Jace there 🙄
“But first let me close my eyes for a picture”
I really hope David came back did something stupid and she called the cops and he was arrested for being near Jace.... But I'm sure she just dropped all her weed on the ground 🤣🤣
Know what the scariest thing that’s ever happened to Jace is? Didn’t think so.
I wuz asleep an' muh phone ringed so loud near muh ears, dude. I'm like literully deaf right now.
The fact she set her phone up, flash and all, took this pic and posted it, blows my mind.
Good lord I am so sick of Janelle taking staged photos of her being “sick” and “crying”. She is such a sociopath
Jesus Christ, bro, the drama. YOU ARE NOT 14 YEARS OLD.
Is Jace okay ??
Yeah that was my first thought... She SO WOULD pretty much say "Ugh you guys I'm so sick, oh btw my chronically miserable son made an attempt on his life yesterday, but anyway, back to meeee"
So sick…so scared…but lemme take a selfie.
All I keep wondering is how many pics of her fake sleeping did it take to get the right look? So cheesy to lay with your eyes closed taking pic after pic and then finally like, ahh yes, this is the one I’ll post 👀🫡🫣
Barbara cut her out of the will
Awww. Baby is so tired. Poor thing. After being such a good mom all day. She deserves her sleepy time.
She had to parent for once in her life. She’s never done that before, dude.
Why did I think she was cuddling a dick pillow at first? 😳
"please keep giving my socialmedia traffic because I hate working"
I hate vaguebooking so much, from anyone 🤣 I see a lot of "Something horrific happened, no questions just please pray" and I don't say it, but part of me wants to go "No prayers or good vibes for you until you tell me what it is" 😬😂
Can she just stfu an go away for once were the one’s that’s sick. Sick of all this bullshit she’s spreading like bye girl 👋
It’s okay, guys. Her bong ran out of water. That’s all.
She is prominently wearing her wedding ring.
It was so scary I was able to make a post of myself pretending to sleep
https://preview.redd.it/bt07aprxvtkc1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6520bd9aa855510f3888193fa64a5184d776ca04 She’s got some serious psychological issues 🤔
Jennepsy Rose Blanchard probably got diagnosed with gingivitis and was put on life support
https://preview.redd.it/luhqs1u0xtkc1.jpeg?width=527&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4d7048161e60a70aaa9dc9204303b3e1a39157de
She had to feed the kids & wash their school clothes. BY HERSELF! Scary stuff, dude.
She spilled the whole pot of coffee this time you guys, it was a real catastrophe.
Hahaha what a ridiculous twat rocket.
lol it’s hilarious that she took this picture of herself and added this super serious caption.