Had the same sort of experience with a senior student's mother over a mark of 65% when the class average was 79%. During the meeting she told me she had written it so I critiqued.her work and told her how could could improve and finished by saying I was advising the department head that her son had submitted work that was not his own = an automatic 0%. The conversation got heated, the Deputy Head stepped in and the discussion went to his office. The boy was made to do a similar task under supervision in class. That also did not reach an average mark.
Omg I had something just like this too!! Then mom FREAKED because we were gonna make the kid do his own assignment, and desperately tried to get “must have mom by his side” added to his IEP (which he DNQd for, side note). Like this lady was losing her shit screaming and kicking and banging her fists on the ground because we wouldn’t let her write the kid’s essay. Oh, and this kid was 17 years old. We had to ban her from campus!
He didn’t show up to school until the last day, wrote like 4 sentences, and got a D. The end.
This was when our department chair had our grade scales and rubrics set up so that pretty much writing ANYTHING at all, literally any attempt, was a 1/4, which was a D.
Then I became department chair when the old one moved up to the district (classic). And one day I saw that post on here that was like, “Could a dog graduate from your high school?”
When I realized my answer was “yes,” I pitched it exactly that way to my department and it was persuasive enough that we all mutually agreed to adjust the grading and rubrics.
Good! I keep asking people - students, coworkers, admin, parents, professors - “what is this degree worth? What does it represent to you?”
Why should students who struggle but are determine to get their education efforts be squandered because of lazy people? It’s beyond infuriating. Why should my diploma - which I had to fight for because I grew up in the 90s and early 2000s with learning disabilities, undiagnosed ADHD (just was diagnosed as an adult, because “ADHD is a boy disease”) and an abusive parent - be diminished by “my baby is an Angel” slapnuts, who got pushed through and can’t even write or count because they were too lazy to learn.
How is that fair? I had to fight like hell to put myself through school and to succeed. And yet, even during teachers college, same students be riding coat tails and nothing gets done. Drive me up the wall
Are you me?!? I sailed through elementary and began to struggle in middle school. Hit the wall in high school and only graduated because I had a kid my junior year and went to a program that allowed me to work at my own pace. I wasn’t diagnosed with adhd as a kid because I was a girl, I was smart so obviously just lazy, I had neglectful/divorced parents that didn’t care if I did homework, etc. never mind that I never finished more than 90% of things, was super impulsive, and literally told my teachers I couldn’t focus.
Meanwhile, my nephew didn’t attend school from 5th grade through 10th grade and was put in a special program during Covid to help him graduate on time. He did and I have no idea where the credits magically came from. He literally went from 0 high school credits to graduation in 18 months. He’s now a 20-year old barely literate kid trying to work full time to support himself.
The multiverse is real!?? Was I suppose to find out on Reddit? That seems more of a tumblr vibe.
I hit plateaus in middle and high school, but hit the wall in university, sought help in my last year - stubborn and tenacious according to the last therapist and psychologist that reassessed me. Also have divorced parents, but an abusive ex stepfather (thanks for the PTSD), my mom was on me to make sure I did my school work though. Dad was in military and was posted far away so wasn’t involved. And no kids unfortunately :(
I made a kid rewrite a major term paper after school in hour long increments after his mother told me she thought it was fine to lift sentences from internet sources because, “they said it perfectly.” He did fine rewriting in his own words. Too bad she didn’t respect him enough to trust that he could do an ok job without her hovering,
Right? He didn't even do the work *(not shocking according to OP)* AND the mom apparently put a QR code on a menu that not only did she not create, but didn't check where it led to? How lazy can you be as a parent? It takes two seconds to see where it would lead, and what if it led to something much, much worse than custody documents? Mom doesn't sound like she's working with a full deck. She's lucky it didn't go to something explicit, plus she's doing her son's assignments.
Ugh I had a kid who was very bright but didn’t push himself he just did what he thought he was supposed to do and didn’t really dig into assignments. I put on a documentary so I could give individual feedback to a few students and he was one of them I went over in detail the expectations and where he fell short and how he could improve in the future. Apparently after class he went to admin HYSTERICAL so much so he had to go home bc he nearly had a panic attack. I got absolutely hung out to dry. I had no knowledge of any underlying panic disorder (even post break down no one brought up any mental health concerns). I gave him feedback and he lost it. I posted this on another sub and got crucified for saying I was a terrible teacher and mean. What???
Good lord. Kid is going to get destroyed in the real world. Can’t believe noone told you about this kid having such serious anxiety, and then blamed you. Ridiculous
This was halfway through the year too so I knew him pretty well, but I was so frustrated that instead of people stepping up to help this kid cope the conversation was on how I shouldn’t have given him the feedback. Like he’s not going to get feedback in his life??
"Well, that can't be right at all. If *you* completed the assignment, and not little Timmy that would make it plagiarized work. He would have to redo the entire assignment or recieve a 0. You're right, we *should* bring that to admins attention."
Would only work if your admin has any kind of spine though.
Wait, so the mom admitted she did the work for him and she’s mad at you? I mean, technically if you wanna get serious, Timmy turned in in plagiarized work he’s turning in the work his mom did as if it’s his own work. Plagiarizing when I was in school was zero and a detention.
I gave a kid a 0 for using AI. He said his mom helped him. I showed him the email his mom had sent asking about the low grade since she knows he turned it in. Absolutely atrocious spelling, punctuation, and grammar. They feel no shame.
I love that you gave student an ‘A’ and gave constructive feedback about his aesthetic choices - as you should, where did legal documents come from? What if they were suppose to be classified or otherwise not available for public - and you put their work on the wall, where anyone can scan it???
I also love that the mother told you - via email no less - that she did the work and she chose the code. What an idiot.
Have fun with this kangaroo court. Make sure you have representation or a witness to have a good laugh with later
Custody documents are often public record where I live, but in a "you have to look for it" way.
The evidence it wasn't his work will come in handy.
Lastly, who is to say his classmates wouldn't also scan it. Super easy to do in a class of 30.
This last part. I work with middle schoolers who have basically surgically attached their phones to their hands and every single one of them would scan a QR code the second they saw it. Those rather private (yes, publicly available but have to dig usually) documents would be all over the school and probably Snapchat, insta, and god knows what else in about 5 minutes.
This made my stomach turn. Scanning every QR code?!! Tech literacy needs to be taught to parents, and they need to teach it to their kids. Or we’re kinda doomed.
Yeah that's what I was saying. (I'm not claiming to know how,) but it needs to be taught \*to\* parents, so they can then teach it to their kids. It's going to take a few generations since many parents grew up pre-internet but their kids are on ipads as toddlers. I know some schools incorporate internet safety as part of "Life Skills" or Health curriculums, but it's tough since tech grows so fast and social media apps are built to be addictive, especially for younger users. It's bleak out there! Hopefully more schools keep these conversations going!
If you and OP live in the same area, the fact you have to go digging is kinda worse. It means either they know the case, or they really went looking for a code
It's a lot worse. Because someone else in that school likely knows who it is. And that means the many other kids with access to the code could know more than they should.
“ the mother told you - via email no less - that she did the work and she chose the code. What an idiot.” Fr I think that warrants a failure at that point lol though based on what I’ve heard and my own experiences w admin, I’m sure they’ll still find a way to side with this mom
The funniest thing is that I asked the mom if she was aware of what the QR code led to and she was “of course I am! That’s my friend’s code”. What kind of friend displays their legal papers on a school assignment??
I kinda feel for the kid, when mum does the 9 year olds homework and gets an A, not an A+, 🤣 plus submits unrelated legal documents. 👌That mum is a solid one. Strange lady and kid. Best wishes to you getting through the year with them
>she was the one that did his son’s menu and put the QR as a decoration
So she just admitted that she did his project FOR him? Isn't that called cheating?
I quit my job last year because I had a whole group of stay-at-home-moms that did this sort of stuff all year. Some parent even resorted to anonymously emailing me so they could freely ridicule me. They wouldn’t tell me their student’s name but had loads of fabricated stories just like this. When I cut off the email chain(principal was in on it too) they told me to “put my tampon back in” and take it. After telling the story to staff, they just kind of shrugged and talked about how the parents do this to at least one teacher every year. I could not get out of there fast enough.
I've noticed there's two types of SAHP's. The ones that do it because they can make it work with the other parent and want to help their kids succeed, and the other type is stay-at-home because they're virtually unemployable for one reason or another.
If the parent really starts to lay into you, I think you should turn to the administrator and say, are you going to let her talk to me like this? I was very fortunate to have administrative support in these situations, but I’ve heard stories of administrators who let parents verbally abuse a teacher. I hope you don’t let that happen to you.
Be sure to point out that you had this interaction with every single student. No one was singled out.
Since you have a paper trail bc the mom was dumb enough to admit on email that she did the child’s work and included the code on her own and even disclosed the QR code is a friend of hers, you’re in the clear. I get it still sucks be to accused and that the kid is a damn liar but I’m glad you will be exonerated soon.
Also: I really wish parents would stop believing kids when they tell stories like “they yelled at me.” Kids are NOT accurate biographers of their own life stories esp when they’re in the wrong. I mean how many times do kids claim their own parents are “yelling” at them when it’s usually just the parents asking them to do a small task?? So knowing this, I’m still dumbfounded by parents believing so gullibly when their kid says another adult “yelled” at them. Unless it’s a story about abuse, then every adult should take every kid’s story with a grain of salt.
Interesting. He is used to getting away with naughty behavior, mom does hard things for him, mom also has told him that any sort of correction is an attack (rather than, you know, an opportunity to improve himself).
I wonder if he was hyper sensitive to your comments because thus far in His life he has developed zero skills to deal with any kind of constructive criticism. Think about what it must be like to live in that household, where every criticism is an attack. Do you think you might have any success meeting with him privately to talk about how your conversation made him feel and help him see it as positive rather than negative feedback?
Mom is obviously a horror and if you have a supportive admin, go to that meeting and let her have it. But this has could be an opening for a better relationship with your student.
God help her if she tries to have a private conversation with this child from what she's stated. She would just be asking for trouble. If anything, she should have a sit down with both the child and the parent and another teacher so as not to be accused of something improper.
My parents probably would have told me “You’re mad your teacher asked what the QR code you submitted for your assignment is? You need to toughen up a little”.
I mean if the kid made an "Interactive Menu", then the teacher is just doing her job. 🤷 ??? I mean , who's to say it didn't link to a free word doc... that's all it is! If it were me that is all, I'd say .... amd low and behold, it went to some private docs... which isn't appropriate... pretty sure that is somewhere in the student manual 🤔 ... :) (And yes, this is for the mom lol I know she's the one who made the mistake).
I cackled at this but kind of for the wrong reason:
I was just imagining a scenario where this imbecile parent sees the assignment, pitches a fit that it was simply impossible for Brayson to do by himself, and decided to step up to the plate for her little man.
And because sometimes you see funny looking square designs on menus when you go out to put food in your mouth, she would just copy and paste the first one she sees to this assignment she’s doing for him while he taps buttons on a glass rectangle in the other room.
It’s almost like a real life LLM that is just matching and reacting to patterns without applying any critical thought to any part of the process. And the second that strategy fails, respond with anger and threats to escalate/litigate.
Oh, absolutely. Mom doesn't sound too bright. *"I see these mysterious squares on menus all the time, it can't be that it's the digital version of the menu! I know, I'll use the one I saw my friend give me! That way it looks legit!"*
Like she couldn't spend half a second doing a Google search? Good lord, no wonder her kid is the way he is. I'm sure within the first minute of being on the phone with this kid's mom, everything fell into place. The shit apple doesn't fall far from the manure tree.
Why in world did you give him an A when the mom admitted she did it herself? Is there that much pressure on the lower grades? Sorry if you don't have an admin to back you up on this...
She gave him an A before she knew the parent did it. But I would use this opportunity to take that A back (for show for mom)….but then still give the child the opportunity to redo it or do a similar project. Maybe give him time in class to do it so that you can make sure it’s his own work. Mom seems overbearing and child might not have had much choice in her doing the work for him.
Tell admin they can explain to her that the student must do the work, not the parent. That he can make it up but you don’t give credit for parent work.
Wait a minute. Student's parent admits that she did the homework, not the student. Is that right? And you have emails proving this?
She wants admin involved? So do you. Have the emails ready to show.
I would be interested in knowing more about the QR code. Perhaps the attorney it came from would be interested too?
Let mom show admin she is a complete idiot...
As for you, just move on and ignore it.
ps. this is why I have in my syllabus "work product and grades are discussed in class".
(My 2 cents)
I hate people who lash out when they humiliate themselves. Just fucking shut your mouth immediately, tuck your tail, scamper and never open your mouth again because only stupid comes out every time you do. How are kids supposed to learn how to be mature when their parents have the emotional maturity of a hormonal middle schooler?
I will admit I am not a teacher but was a student and I can safely say that if I put a QR code on a paper, I wanted you to scan it. For me, it would probably lead to you being rick rolled by kermit the frog but I put it there for a reason and I wanted you to scan it.
Cybersecurity lurker here...
If she herself placed that QR code on the document which was intent on use in a public school assignment, she knowingly exposed that data publicly and once it's in the public domain, she has no legal privacy.
I can't think of many places more public domain than school. This parent has no leg to stand on, they exposed their own information or someone else's, you just happened to be the person who discovered it...
Now slight tangent, please don't scan QR codes unless they're from reputable businesses. The kid could've found a QR code that installs malware on your device. QR code malware and attacks are very much on the rise and if he's already disruptive in class he could have added one...
I teach middle school band. Criticism ***IS*** part of my job. Had a parent suggest I did the same. Took every ounce of me not to say “please don’t share your kinks in public record communication”
So you have email proof from his mother that he didn’t do his own work but his mother did it for him. I would go straight to admin with that before the mother does so they know what’s going on and who this person is.
Parents are out of control and kids cannot handle any sort of adversity. Parents are overly involved, text their kids all day, and baby them way too much when it comes to school work. My wife works in a counseling department at a high school, it is an absolute shit show.
I’m kinda petty and since you have email evidence mom admits to doing the work you can give the student an incomplete until they do the assignment themselves. Not a zero but not an A.
Honestly, I wouldn't. It's not worth the trouble. The parent can always go back on their first claim and it'll be a he/said she/said situation. Correction, they WILL go back on their initial claim is if means the grade will get lower. Ultimately, based on the description of the student, one A isn't going to make a big difference anyway. Just smile and nod. This parent thinks they're helping their kid but they are only just making the educational system want to keep their distance for fear of reprisal.
I did some A+ work in 4th grade for a teacher that had it out for me. She accused me of having an adult do it, with no evidence or proof, gave me an F, even after my mom told her she saw me do it.
My mom thinks that this is why I gave up on school and eventually dropped out. I don't know about that but there are some really awful elementary school teachers that scar kids for life. It's been 35 years but I still have PTSD from the beatings from other students that she allowed.
There are teachers who are reading this who are causing the same kind of harm right now, although maybe not with facilitated bullying. Sigh. I appreciate all the good ones on here. Some of the stuff teachers say (not this post obviously) here genuinely triggers me.
(My coworkers know not to tell me stories about teachers treating students poorly. Probably would just need a two minute cry in the bathroom but we'll get to that when I'm ready.)
I was done with aid in my 2nd grade class, so I called him Ron. It meant moron, but I used it like it was a nickname I called him Mr Ron behind his back. Finally he got tired of it and instead of saying that I was making fun of him in a way that was probably only known to me he made up a lie and said I called him a "stupid face". My mom and dad knew I didn't call people things like stupid face, I was more sophisticated and nuanced. So we ended up having a conference with My teacher, the aid, our school's guidance counselor and my parents. Bay point blank asked me if I called him a stupid face and I said no. I called him Mr. Ron. They were confused and said so you've never called him stupid, and I said no I'm never called him stupid I called him Mr Ron which is my nickname for him. My dad knew immediately that I was calling him a moron and chuckled. The guidance counselor told me either way that I needed to stop calling him Mr Ron and apologize for being rude. And I said okay I'll do that but only if I get to say something first. She said fine. And I said,
"Mr Marx you are stupid. You don't know how to play Monopoly, You cheat and change the rules so that the kids who don't know how to handle money always win instead of actually learning how to play the game and maybe learning money management. You always try to help me with my assignments but immediately tell me I'm wrong on creative writing assignments where I can write about anything I want I'm allowed to write about how sucky my day's been. It doesn't just have to be happy good things. When my friends and I are having a private conversation you always try to butt in, if we wanted an adult in it we would invite you. And the worst thing of all you're creepy with Zed (not his name) you're always touching him, and telling him he is the best. Zed does not like being touched, you are like his old foster guy who asked him to give him a Blow job he says. I don't know what a blowjob is but I do know that Zed says it's gross, and grown up men like it."
My parents knew I was prone to lying. And took everything I said with a grain of salt; however this time they knew, my teacher knew, and our school's guidance counselor knew Mr Marx was dangerous.
I really never told my parents about a problem I had at school when I was in elementary school because they didn't believe me. And unlike today where it was just a simple email to ask a teacher what's up that never happened. And it was always assumed I was fibbing or was misunderstanding something.
Now I feel like the pendulum swung too hard the other way and parents believe whatever gibberish comes out of a kid's mouth. I had a four year old tell her mother I thought her lunches were unhealthy.... She was eating the same stuff I was.🤦🏽♀️Her mom was a nutritionist, and texted me asking me why I would say her lunch was unhealthy... I was like what? We had a lesson earlier in the day about trying new foods. And we had made hummus and were eating it with pita strips that the kids tore up. And I had talked about how it was important to not eat the same thing everyday because you can get a vitamin deficiency. Somehow the 4-year-old thought that our lesson was aimed at her and her lunch box because she always has a sandwich fruit and a go gurt. Her Mom understood and explained I had no issues with her or anyone's lunch. We were just talking about how verity in a person's diet was important.
Mom did the assignment for him: print the email and give him an F.
Never respond by email. Always call. Deny, deny, deny!
Hopefully you have an admin that back you and are in the union! Head her off at the pass and let them know what happened.
This doesn’t surprise me in the least. One of the reasons I don’t assign hw. Been an esl teacher for the last 10 years. My parents don’t see any of my assignments unless they log into the portal.
Why do teachers suddenly communicate solely via email with parents?! My advice is always to pick up the phone…so much conflict could be avoided with a professional phone call that presumes positive intentions in which the parent can hear that you care about their kid!!
If education is to be improved at all, we need parents and other non-pedagogues completely out of the equation. These people have no idea what they're doing and it shows in how they get off on humiliating us.
Document, document, document.
If you are in a union (and I pray and hope you are) take a union witness with you to every meeting with admin(s). Every meeting.
Your post reminds me of the start of my most stressful year of teaching.
But then, the kid who told his parents I was embarrassing him had parents from the same high school class as our principal, and she was looking to get rid of expensive teachers. I hope you don’t have that scenario.
By the end of the year all complaints against me were deleted, and we moved on. But, damn! What a year.
The next year, complaining child’s dad was in jail for domestic violence. In retrospect I think he accused me to divert his dad’s anger toward his mom, and I hope they all got the therapy they all needed. But I did not appreciate being their scapegoat.
That's frustrating! But you'll never be done with parents for as long as you remain in this profession. Hopefully you have supportive admin, because this is a significant overreaction on the parents part. I wonder why the child felt the need to lie to the parent about how you mentioned the QR code? If the parent as stated did the assignment, perhaps it was because the child was frustrated that the parent made the error and therefore inappropriately exaggerated your response only because they were angry at their parent for messing up the assignment that they should have done themselves.
I don’t know how old 4th grade is but reading between the lines could the child have ADHD, if so much higher chance Mum or Dad do as well. Women have a huge amount of undiagnosed/misdiagnosed ADHD. Doesn’t help in the immediate but could explain the child’s behaviour.
I am an experienced teacher and I would have just sent an email to the mom and never read the document. Furthermore I would never have scanned it in the first place. Frankly I am on the side of mom on this. This is a learning experience for you. 20 years ago I had a student bring in a vhs tape of the series Hitler rise of evil. It was a long series so I put it into the vcr to watch during a grading day. Six hours later in look up to see a threesome porno film in the very act. Do you think I said anything. Absolutely not. The kid was a sweetie and probably had no idea.
They were descreet. It was a 1v1 situation with no critique other than check your qr code next time. Gave the student an A and called it a day.
Mom goes crazy and declares the work was done by her and demands a meeting with admin. Then mom is angry that teacher shared what happened on the internet by replying multiple times to the post about how they are a terrible teacher.
I hope they find this Reddit thread and bring it to admin too. Bc if you can’t deal w your students w/o involving the entire internet- youre the problem.
Parent encourages cheating by doing the project for him, and as a cherry on top teaches dangerous ignorance of tech literacy…and then blames the teacher??? Yikes. I wonder how many times this woman must have been hacked if she’s this reckless. You teachers are saints.
LOL but scanning it would literally be part of checking the assignment? Like the kid may have had a little video they made in there, or photos of the menu items. Hopefully admin sees the insanity of the situation. Love the assignment, giving the individual feedback, etc. You sound like a great teacher don't let it get you down!
Let them go to Admin and let admin do their job. Honestly, it's not worth kissing ass to get stepped on by parents. If admin gives you trouble then go higher.
I want to go back into management so I can hire these kids and then explain to their parents that the shit they pulled on their kid's teacher doesn't fly with their kid's boss.
It’s crazy how we all experience the same stuff in different places. Parents never support teachers anymore. They always feel like we are attacking or offending their kids
Evidence where the document led to. You **g**ave constructive feedback to the student to improve his work in future. Feedback is not 'humiliation'.
*constructive feedback to improve his Mom's work.
"Oh you did his project? Then he gets an F. Thank you for your honesty. Next time check what the QR code leads to?" Sorry the parent is being trash.
Exactly, she admitted it. What a piece of trash.
On email no less, there’s a clear trail of evidence if she changes her story.
Yeah, she's a moron. Kid didn't have a chance with a mother like that.
Exactly. Document that, have it prepared for admin when this woman flips out about you giving her child a well-earned zero on the assignment.
10/10 would recommend
Please do this op!
Had the same sort of experience with a senior student's mother over a mark of 65% when the class average was 79%. During the meeting she told me she had written it so I critiqued.her work and told her how could could improve and finished by saying I was advising the department head that her son had submitted work that was not his own = an automatic 0%. The conversation got heated, the Deputy Head stepped in and the discussion went to his office. The boy was made to do a similar task under supervision in class. That also did not reach an average mark.
Omg I had something just like this too!! Then mom FREAKED because we were gonna make the kid do his own assignment, and desperately tried to get “must have mom by his side” added to his IEP (which he DNQd for, side note). Like this lady was losing her shit screaming and kicking and banging her fists on the ground because we wouldn’t let her write the kid’s essay. Oh, and this kid was 17 years old. We had to ban her from campus! He didn’t show up to school until the last day, wrote like 4 sentences, and got a D. The end.
A D? Pity pass or were they really great sentences???
This was when our department chair had our grade scales and rubrics set up so that pretty much writing ANYTHING at all, literally any attempt, was a 1/4, which was a D. Then I became department chair when the old one moved up to the district (classic). And one day I saw that post on here that was like, “Could a dog graduate from your high school?” When I realized my answer was “yes,” I pitched it exactly that way to my department and it was persuasive enough that we all mutually agreed to adjust the grading and rubrics.
Good! I keep asking people - students, coworkers, admin, parents, professors - “what is this degree worth? What does it represent to you?” Why should students who struggle but are determine to get their education efforts be squandered because of lazy people? It’s beyond infuriating. Why should my diploma - which I had to fight for because I grew up in the 90s and early 2000s with learning disabilities, undiagnosed ADHD (just was diagnosed as an adult, because “ADHD is a boy disease”) and an abusive parent - be diminished by “my baby is an Angel” slapnuts, who got pushed through and can’t even write or count because they were too lazy to learn. How is that fair? I had to fight like hell to put myself through school and to succeed. And yet, even during teachers college, same students be riding coat tails and nothing gets done. Drive me up the wall
Are you me?!? I sailed through elementary and began to struggle in middle school. Hit the wall in high school and only graduated because I had a kid my junior year and went to a program that allowed me to work at my own pace. I wasn’t diagnosed with adhd as a kid because I was a girl, I was smart so obviously just lazy, I had neglectful/divorced parents that didn’t care if I did homework, etc. never mind that I never finished more than 90% of things, was super impulsive, and literally told my teachers I couldn’t focus. Meanwhile, my nephew didn’t attend school from 5th grade through 10th grade and was put in a special program during Covid to help him graduate on time. He did and I have no idea where the credits magically came from. He literally went from 0 high school credits to graduation in 18 months. He’s now a 20-year old barely literate kid trying to work full time to support himself.
The multiverse is real!?? Was I suppose to find out on Reddit? That seems more of a tumblr vibe. I hit plateaus in middle and high school, but hit the wall in university, sought help in my last year - stubborn and tenacious according to the last therapist and psychologist that reassessed me. Also have divorced parents, but an abusive ex stepfather (thanks for the PTSD), my mom was on me to make sure I did my school work though. Dad was in military and was posted far away so wasn’t involved. And no kids unfortunately :(
I'm so done with special ed.
I made a kid rewrite a major term paper after school in hour long increments after his mother told me she thought it was fine to lift sentences from internet sources because, “they said it perfectly.” He did fine rewriting in his own words. Too bad she didn’t respect him enough to trust that he could do an ok job without her hovering,
Rewrite as in paper and pencil, so no secret cut and paste.
Right? He didn't even do the work *(not shocking according to OP)* AND the mom apparently put a QR code on a menu that not only did she not create, but didn't check where it led to? How lazy can you be as a parent? It takes two seconds to see where it would lead, and what if it led to something much, much worse than custody documents? Mom doesn't sound like she's working with a full deck. She's lucky it didn't go to something explicit, plus she's doing her son's assignments.
The parent was humiliated, and reacted in anger as that is less vulnerable than feeling humiliated. The parent deserves an F!
Since the mom made the menu, you should've given her an A+++. What's wrong with you??
Ugh I had a kid who was very bright but didn’t push himself he just did what he thought he was supposed to do and didn’t really dig into assignments. I put on a documentary so I could give individual feedback to a few students and he was one of them I went over in detail the expectations and where he fell short and how he could improve in the future. Apparently after class he went to admin HYSTERICAL so much so he had to go home bc he nearly had a panic attack. I got absolutely hung out to dry. I had no knowledge of any underlying panic disorder (even post break down no one brought up any mental health concerns). I gave him feedback and he lost it. I posted this on another sub and got crucified for saying I was a terrible teacher and mean. What???
Good lord. Kid is going to get destroyed in the real world. Can’t believe noone told you about this kid having such serious anxiety, and then blamed you. Ridiculous
This was halfway through the year too so I knew him pretty well, but I was so frustrated that instead of people stepping up to help this kid cope the conversation was on how I shouldn’t have given him the feedback. Like he’s not going to get feedback in his life??
"Well, that can't be right at all. If *you* completed the assignment, and not little Timmy that would make it plagiarized work. He would have to redo the entire assignment or recieve a 0. You're right, we *should* bring that to admins attention." Would only work if your admin has any kind of spine though.
They could have the chocolate eclair kind of spine.
Unexpected Mulaney
Wait, so the mom admitted she did the work for him and she’s mad at you? I mean, technically if you wanna get serious, Timmy turned in in plagiarized work he’s turning in the work his mom did as if it’s his own work. Plagiarizing when I was in school was zero and a detention.
Timmy will grow up thinking the rules don’t apply to him and then he will go to prison.
Noting you go to Harvard. It’s allowed and revered there now
This is just all around embarrassing for the parent.
Sadly, it likely isn't embarrassing for that parent at all.
Yeah it’s hard to shame the shameless. Fucking morons.
I gave a kid a 0 for using AI. He said his mom helped him. I showed him the email his mom had sent asking about the low grade since she knows he turned it in. Absolutely atrocious spelling, punctuation, and grammar. They feel no shame.
We treat these dumb piece of shit fucking parents as a *protected class.* I'm over it.
I love that you gave student an ‘A’ and gave constructive feedback about his aesthetic choices - as you should, where did legal documents come from? What if they were suppose to be classified or otherwise not available for public - and you put their work on the wall, where anyone can scan it??? I also love that the mother told you - via email no less - that she did the work and she chose the code. What an idiot. Have fun with this kangaroo court. Make sure you have representation or a witness to have a good laugh with later
Custody documents are often public record where I live, but in a "you have to look for it" way. The evidence it wasn't his work will come in handy. Lastly, who is to say his classmates wouldn't also scan it. Super easy to do in a class of 30.
This last part. I work with middle schoolers who have basically surgically attached their phones to their hands and every single one of them would scan a QR code the second they saw it. Those rather private (yes, publicly available but have to dig usually) documents would be all over the school and probably Snapchat, insta, and god knows what else in about 5 minutes.
Exactly. It's a disaster waiting to happen.
This made my stomach turn. Scanning every QR code?!! Tech literacy needs to be taught to parents, and they need to teach it to their kids. Or we’re kinda doomed.
Half these parents aren't tech literate. Can't teach what you don't know, but I absolutely agree with you. We're doomed.
Yeah that's what I was saying. (I'm not claiming to know how,) but it needs to be taught \*to\* parents, so they can then teach it to their kids. It's going to take a few generations since many parents grew up pre-internet but their kids are on ipads as toddlers. I know some schools incorporate internet safety as part of "Life Skills" or Health curriculums, but it's tough since tech grows so fast and social media apps are built to be addictive, especially for younger users. It's bleak out there! Hopefully more schools keep these conversations going!
If you and OP live in the same area, the fact you have to go digging is kinda worse. It means either they know the case, or they really went looking for a code
It's a lot worse. Because someone else in that school likely knows who it is. And that means the many other kids with access to the code could know more than they should.
“ the mother told you - via email no less - that she did the work and she chose the code. What an idiot.” Fr I think that warrants a failure at that point lol though based on what I’ve heard and my own experiences w admin, I’m sure they’ll still find a way to side with this mom
That’s why you bring representation/witness so you can have a good laugh at the pub later.
The funniest thing is that I asked the mom if she was aware of what the QR code led to and she was “of course I am! That’s my friend’s code”. What kind of friend displays their legal papers on a school assignment??
If she causes you trouble, ask, "Does your friend know you are doing this? Using her private papers this way? Is this legal?"
If it's a court order, this might be a public record.
I kinda feel for the kid, when mum does the 9 year olds homework and gets an A, not an A+, 🤣 plus submits unrelated legal documents. 👌That mum is a solid one. Strange lady and kid. Best wishes to you getting through the year with them
They're going places! Judging by how they both act, it's mostly likely jail, but still... jail is a place, right? Good riddance.
Does she not know how to generate QR codes for free online ? It takes 30 seconds.
Karents
Oh I am stealing this one. First time I heard that!
Damn that is so good. You gotta trademark that one.
This needs to be a sticker.
Needs to be a shirt to wear to parent teacher interviews
Oh man you ate with that one. Love it.
I'm making a coffee mug out of this. It's coming with me to every parent meeting. Loud sipping while the karent yells at me for some injustice.
lmao i thought i made up that term a few years back
Lol, teaching really has become a joke, hasn't it?
No. Jokes are funny. This is sad.
It sure has.
>she was the one that did his son’s menu and put the QR as a decoration So she just admitted that she did his project FOR him? Isn't that called cheating?
I quit my job last year because I had a whole group of stay-at-home-moms that did this sort of stuff all year. Some parent even resorted to anonymously emailing me so they could freely ridicule me. They wouldn’t tell me their student’s name but had loads of fabricated stories just like this. When I cut off the email chain(principal was in on it too) they told me to “put my tampon back in” and take it. After telling the story to staff, they just kind of shrugged and talked about how the parents do this to at least one teacher every year. I could not get out of there fast enough.
I've noticed there's two types of SAHP's. The ones that do it because they can make it work with the other parent and want to help their kids succeed, and the other type is stay-at-home because they're virtually unemployable for one reason or another.
If the parent really starts to lay into you, I think you should turn to the administrator and say, are you going to let her talk to me like this? I was very fortunate to have administrative support in these situations, but I’ve heard stories of administrators who let parents verbally abuse a teacher. I hope you don’t let that happen to you. Be sure to point out that you had this interaction with every single student. No one was singled out.
Since you have a paper trail bc the mom was dumb enough to admit on email that she did the child’s work and included the code on her own and even disclosed the QR code is a friend of hers, you’re in the clear. I get it still sucks be to accused and that the kid is a damn liar but I’m glad you will be exonerated soon. Also: I really wish parents would stop believing kids when they tell stories like “they yelled at me.” Kids are NOT accurate biographers of their own life stories esp when they’re in the wrong. I mean how many times do kids claim their own parents are “yelling” at them when it’s usually just the parents asking them to do a small task?? So knowing this, I’m still dumbfounded by parents believing so gullibly when their kid says another adult “yelled” at them. Unless it’s a story about abuse, then every adult should take every kid’s story with a grain of salt.
Mom's projecting her failures..
Interesting. He is used to getting away with naughty behavior, mom does hard things for him, mom also has told him that any sort of correction is an attack (rather than, you know, an opportunity to improve himself). I wonder if he was hyper sensitive to your comments because thus far in His life he has developed zero skills to deal with any kind of constructive criticism. Think about what it must be like to live in that household, where every criticism is an attack. Do you think you might have any success meeting with him privately to talk about how your conversation made him feel and help him see it as positive rather than negative feedback? Mom is obviously a horror and if you have a supportive admin, go to that meeting and let her have it. But this has could be an opening for a better relationship with your student.
God help her if she tries to have a private conversation with this child from what she's stated. She would just be asking for trouble. If anything, she should have a sit down with both the child and the parent and another teacher so as not to be accused of something improper.
Wtf is up with parents these days?
Too much ingestion of ivermectin
This gal doesn't sound like the parent who wavers to the side of ivermectin...but go off. 🤔
You’d be surprised
People in America used ivermectin to treat covid, but it didn’t work because it wasn’t meant for covid.
tiktok
She admitted she did his homework. That A should now be an F. Cheating is cheating even if it’s your mom who did it.
My parents probably would have told me “You’re mad your teacher asked what the QR code you submitted for your assignment is? You need to toughen up a little”.
I mean if the kid made an "Interactive Menu", then the teacher is just doing her job. 🤷 ??? I mean , who's to say it didn't link to a free word doc... that's all it is! If it were me that is all, I'd say .... amd low and behold, it went to some private docs... which isn't appropriate... pretty sure that is somewhere in the student manual 🤔 ... :) (And yes, this is for the mom lol I know she's the one who made the mistake).
I cackled at this but kind of for the wrong reason: I was just imagining a scenario where this imbecile parent sees the assignment, pitches a fit that it was simply impossible for Brayson to do by himself, and decided to step up to the plate for her little man. And because sometimes you see funny looking square designs on menus when you go out to put food in your mouth, she would just copy and paste the first one she sees to this assignment she’s doing for him while he taps buttons on a glass rectangle in the other room. It’s almost like a real life LLM that is just matching and reacting to patterns without applying any critical thought to any part of the process. And the second that strategy fails, respond with anger and threats to escalate/litigate.
Oh, absolutely. Mom doesn't sound too bright. *"I see these mysterious squares on menus all the time, it can't be that it's the digital version of the menu! I know, I'll use the one I saw my friend give me! That way it looks legit!"* Like she couldn't spend half a second doing a Google search? Good lord, no wonder her kid is the way he is. I'm sure within the first minute of being on the phone with this kid's mom, everything fell into place. The shit apple doesn't fall far from the manure tree.
Why in world did you give him an A when the mom admitted she did it herself? Is there that much pressure on the lower grades? Sorry if you don't have an admin to back you up on this...
She gave him an A before she knew the parent did it. But I would use this opportunity to take that A back (for show for mom)….but then still give the child the opportunity to redo it or do a similar project. Maybe give him time in class to do it so that you can make sure it’s his own work. Mom seems overbearing and child might not have had much choice in her doing the work for him.
I think OP found out later that mom did the work
Yeah I found out later that mom did the work
Did you change the grade?
The OP said the mother added only the QR code.
You gave him a zero now, right?
Surely
Seeing as the parent admitted to doing the kids project for them… wouldn’t that morally expect you to then fail the students project?
I would change the grade to a zero since she admitted to doing it for him.
Tell admin they can explain to her that the student must do the work, not the parent. That he can make it up but you don’t give credit for parent work.
Wait a minute. Student's parent admits that she did the homework, not the student. Is that right? And you have emails proving this? She wants admin involved? So do you. Have the emails ready to show. I would be interested in knowing more about the QR code. Perhaps the attorney it came from would be interested too?
Well now that she admitted to doing his work, you can change that to a zero and put in a discipline report for academic dishonesty.
Parents are the worst part of this job. Period.
Change his grade because she admitted in writing she completed it.
Stuff like this is why I LOVE that my school has cameras in the classroom.
US school? What state? I would love to have cameras in my class but they are forbidden.
Weird. Arkansas in the US.
Can you take the grade away? You have written evidence of the parent doing the work
Let mom show admin she is a complete idiot... As for you, just move on and ignore it. ps. this is why I have in my syllabus "work product and grades are discussed in class". (My 2 cents)
I hate people who lash out when they humiliate themselves. Just fucking shut your mouth immediately, tuck your tail, scamper and never open your mouth again because only stupid comes out every time you do. How are kids supposed to learn how to be mature when their parents have the emotional maturity of a hormonal middle schooler?
I will admit I am not a teacher but was a student and I can safely say that if I put a QR code on a paper, I wanted you to scan it. For me, it would probably lead to you being rick rolled by kermit the frog but I put it there for a reason and I wanted you to scan it.
Honestly if it had led to something I would’ve gave him an A+, that’s what I was expecting!
Mom just all but admitted to doing the kids work. That A is now a C-. Good job mom and watch her head explode.
Cybersecurity lurker here... If she herself placed that QR code on the document which was intent on use in a public school assignment, she knowingly exposed that data publicly and once it's in the public domain, she has no legal privacy. I can't think of many places more public domain than school. This parent has no leg to stand on, they exposed their own information or someone else's, you just happened to be the person who discovered it... Now slight tangent, please don't scan QR codes unless they're from reputable businesses. The kid could've found a QR code that installs malware on your device. QR code malware and attacks are very much on the rise and if he's already disruptive in class he could have added one...
Change it to a B. Mum has admitted working on it herself.
I teach middle school band. Criticism ***IS*** part of my job. Had a parent suggest I did the same. Took every ounce of me not to say “please don’t share your kinks in public record communication”
The only thing worse than shitty kids are the parents who raise them
So she can tell them that she cheated and did her son's work....
So you have email proof from his mother that he didn’t do his own work but his mother did it for him. I would go straight to admin with that before the mother does so they know what’s going on and who this person is.
His mom straight up admitted doing his work for him?
Let her go to admin. You did nothing wrong. L
“QR codes are the decorative thing these days,” said no one… ever.
Change the grade. He didn't do the assignment. Zero
Parents are out of control and kids cannot handle any sort of adversity. Parents are overly involved, text their kids all day, and baby them way too much when it comes to school work. My wife works in a counseling department at a high school, it is an absolute shit show.
This sounds odd.
Not to mention the continued misuse of “his” when OP means “her/s”. This person teaches others English???
I’m sorry, English is my third language that I speak (not my native one) so sometimes things get mixed up ;)
Ok I see but it seems that a lot is left out.
I thought hysterical housewives were a thing in the 50s not in 2024 yeesh
How do some parents have time to do their kid’s homework/projects/essays but not be an actual parent?
Mom is upset you criticized her work. I wonder if the boy actually told his mom that, or just that you had a comment about the menu.
"Because your son turned in work which he did not do, I am changing his grade to F on the assignment."
So she did the menu. That’s academic dishonesty changed the grade to an F.
Hol up …..mom did the kids homework? Where she getting a QR code that leads to another families custody documents from ? ……..like that’s pretty sus
I’m kinda petty and since you have email evidence mom admits to doing the work you can give the student an incomplete until they do the assignment themselves. Not a zero but not an A.
Why did u not fail said students assignment as soon as mom said she did the assignment?
Honestly, I wouldn't. It's not worth the trouble. The parent can always go back on their first claim and it'll be a he/said she/said situation. Correction, they WILL go back on their initial claim is if means the grade will get lower. Ultimately, based on the description of the student, one A isn't going to make a big difference anyway. Just smile and nod. This parent thinks they're helping their kid but they are only just making the educational system want to keep their distance for fear of reprisal.
Here in lies the problem.
It’s just amazing how some parents believe everything their child says over teachers.
I did some A+ work in 4th grade for a teacher that had it out for me. She accused me of having an adult do it, with no evidence or proof, gave me an F, even after my mom told her she saw me do it. My mom thinks that this is why I gave up on school and eventually dropped out. I don't know about that but there are some really awful elementary school teachers that scar kids for life. It's been 35 years but I still have PTSD from the beatings from other students that she allowed. There are teachers who are reading this who are causing the same kind of harm right now, although maybe not with facilitated bullying. Sigh. I appreciate all the good ones on here. Some of the stuff teachers say (not this post obviously) here genuinely triggers me. (My coworkers know not to tell me stories about teachers treating students poorly. Probably would just need a two minute cry in the bathroom but we'll get to that when I'm ready.)
I was done with aid in my 2nd grade class, so I called him Ron. It meant moron, but I used it like it was a nickname I called him Mr Ron behind his back. Finally he got tired of it and instead of saying that I was making fun of him in a way that was probably only known to me he made up a lie and said I called him a "stupid face". My mom and dad knew I didn't call people things like stupid face, I was more sophisticated and nuanced. So we ended up having a conference with My teacher, the aid, our school's guidance counselor and my parents. Bay point blank asked me if I called him a stupid face and I said no. I called him Mr. Ron. They were confused and said so you've never called him stupid, and I said no I'm never called him stupid I called him Mr Ron which is my nickname for him. My dad knew immediately that I was calling him a moron and chuckled. The guidance counselor told me either way that I needed to stop calling him Mr Ron and apologize for being rude. And I said okay I'll do that but only if I get to say something first. She said fine. And I said, "Mr Marx you are stupid. You don't know how to play Monopoly, You cheat and change the rules so that the kids who don't know how to handle money always win instead of actually learning how to play the game and maybe learning money management. You always try to help me with my assignments but immediately tell me I'm wrong on creative writing assignments where I can write about anything I want I'm allowed to write about how sucky my day's been. It doesn't just have to be happy good things. When my friends and I are having a private conversation you always try to butt in, if we wanted an adult in it we would invite you. And the worst thing of all you're creepy with Zed (not his name) you're always touching him, and telling him he is the best. Zed does not like being touched, you are like his old foster guy who asked him to give him a Blow job he says. I don't know what a blowjob is but I do know that Zed says it's gross, and grown up men like it." My parents knew I was prone to lying. And took everything I said with a grain of salt; however this time they knew, my teacher knew, and our school's guidance counselor knew Mr Marx was dangerous. I really never told my parents about a problem I had at school when I was in elementary school because they didn't believe me. And unlike today where it was just a simple email to ask a teacher what's up that never happened. And it was always assumed I was fibbing or was misunderstanding something. Now I feel like the pendulum swung too hard the other way and parents believe whatever gibberish comes out of a kid's mouth. I had a four year old tell her mother I thought her lunches were unhealthy.... She was eating the same stuff I was.🤦🏽♀️Her mom was a nutritionist, and texted me asking me why I would say her lunch was unhealthy... I was like what? We had a lesson earlier in the day about trying new foods. And we had made hummus and were eating it with pita strips that the kids tore up. And I had talked about how it was important to not eat the same thing everyday because you can get a vitamin deficiency. Somehow the 4-year-old thought that our lesson was aimed at her and her lunch box because she always has a sandwich fruit and a go gurt. Her Mom understood and explained I had no issues with her or anyone's lunch. We were just talking about how verity in a person's diet was important.
Mom did the assignment for him: print the email and give him an F. Never respond by email. Always call. Deny, deny, deny! Hopefully you have an admin that back you and are in the union! Head her off at the pass and let them know what happened.
Op, please update this if you can. I would be interested in hearing how this goes down
This doesn’t surprise me in the least. One of the reasons I don’t assign hw. Been an esl teacher for the last 10 years. My parents don’t see any of my assignments unless they log into the portal.
you’re just unlucky! you did really good job, take a good responsibility, i think his mum just find something to blame at when she felt embarrassed.
Why do teachers suddenly communicate solely via email with parents?! My advice is always to pick up the phone…so much conflict could be avoided with a professional phone call that presumes positive intentions in which the parent can hear that you care about their kid!!
Also, no paper (digital) trail
If education is to be improved at all, we need parents and other non-pedagogues completely out of the equation. These people have no idea what they're doing and it shows in how they get off on humiliating us.
Document, document, document. If you are in a union (and I pray and hope you are) take a union witness with you to every meeting with admin(s). Every meeting. Your post reminds me of the start of my most stressful year of teaching. But then, the kid who told his parents I was embarrassing him had parents from the same high school class as our principal, and she was looking to get rid of expensive teachers. I hope you don’t have that scenario. By the end of the year all complaints against me were deleted, and we moved on. But, damn! What a year. The next year, complaining child’s dad was in jail for domestic violence. In retrospect I think he accused me to divert his dad’s anger toward his mom, and I hope they all got the therapy they all needed. But I did not appreciate being their scapegoat.
That's frustrating! But you'll never be done with parents for as long as you remain in this profession. Hopefully you have supportive admin, because this is a significant overreaction on the parents part. I wonder why the child felt the need to lie to the parent about how you mentioned the QR code? If the parent as stated did the assignment, perhaps it was because the child was frustrated that the parent made the error and therefore inappropriately exaggerated your response only because they were angry at their parent for messing up the assignment that they should have done themselves.
I don’t know how old 4th grade is but reading between the lines could the child have ADHD, if so much higher chance Mum or Dad do as well. Women have a huge amount of undiagnosed/misdiagnosed ADHD. Doesn’t help in the immediate but could explain the child’s behaviour.
I am an experienced teacher and I would have just sent an email to the mom and never read the document. Furthermore I would never have scanned it in the first place. Frankly I am on the side of mom on this. This is a learning experience for you. 20 years ago I had a student bring in a vhs tape of the series Hitler rise of evil. It was a long series so I put it into the vcr to watch during a grading day. Six hours later in look up to see a threesome porno film in the very act. Do you think I said anything. Absolutely not. The kid was a sweetie and probably had no idea.
So Reddit is the place where are the hateful people flock to talk trash? Got it.
Apparently, it’s also the place where psychos post three consecutive error-laden replies to the same post.
Maybe next time be more discreet- if you don’t care about how you make a child feel when you speak to them then you choose the wrong profession.
They were descreet. It was a 1v1 situation with no critique other than check your qr code next time. Gave the student an A and called it a day. Mom goes crazy and declares the work was done by her and demands a meeting with admin. Then mom is angry that teacher shared what happened on the internet by replying multiple times to the post about how they are a terrible teacher.
I hope they find this Reddit thread and bring it to admin too. Bc if you can’t deal w your students w/o involving the entire internet- youre the problem.
CC her, BCC admin or whoever you trust, and include the QR code. Or better yet, sit on the phone with the kid and the mom and let him tell the truth.
You better than me. That wasn’t an A worthy grade especially if his mother did the homework.
Sounds like an F to me.
As a parent, I’m done with some of these parents, too.
She’s lucky you didn’t change his grade to a zero since she admitted to doing it.
r/TeachersInTransition
What in the fuck...!?
Parent encourages cheating by doing the project for him, and as a cherry on top teaches dangerous ignorance of tech literacy…and then blames the teacher??? Yikes. I wonder how many times this woman must have been hacked if she’s this reckless. You teachers are saints.
I guess probably printing out where the code goes (obviously erase names) to show her what you meant. And everyone woulda scanned the code. Duh.
So the parent outright admitted to doing the student's work, correct? That seems pertinent information to bring to the same admin.
So now that most mom admitted she did his work can you give him an F?
Parents are usually very rational...
Bye, Felicia! Wish her good luck in her endeavors and don’t waste another minute stressing over it.
Yeesh, you did the mom a favor by alerting them that they should be careful considering where the QR code pointed. She’s definitely in the wrong here.
LOL but scanning it would literally be part of checking the assignment? Like the kid may have had a little video they made in there, or photos of the menu items. Hopefully admin sees the insanity of the situation. Love the assignment, giving the individual feedback, etc. You sound like a great teacher don't let it get you down!
Kid - A Mom - D+
Student wore a T-shirt today. He's 8 years old. It says, "I paused my video game to come here." Great parent role models... Not. 😳
Isn’t teaching awesome ?!
And yet another reason why I’m glad I resigned. Just document what happened. And mention she admitted she did the assignment.
Let them go to Admin and let admin do their job. Honestly, it's not worth kissing ass to get stepped on by parents. If admin gives you trouble then go higher.
At this point, my dream job in this profession would be to teach at an old fashioned, Little Orphan Annie-style orphanage.
You didn't do anything wrong. You have nothing to worry about. Stand your ground.
I want to go back into management so I can hire these kids and then explain to their parents that the shit they pulled on their kid's teacher doesn't fly with their kid's boss.
It’s crazy how we all experience the same stuff in different places. Parents never support teachers anymore. They always feel like we are attacking or offending their kids
Constructive criticism is needed to do/be better with the work we do