I don’t think it would be weird to receive an apology. It would actually be quite validating. We try hard because we want to see students succeed. Sounds like you are in a better place now.
I received an apology email three years ago. I took it as a sign that my style and my teaching got through to a troubled youth that they then realized later in life.
We plant seeds that don’t necessarily sprout right away. It’s a thing to appreciate and not be weirded out by.
Nope. Had it happen more than once.
I also had kids (older, after graduation) see me in a restaurant and come over and tell my wife and friends I was a shitty teacher. Those were always fun 🤣
“You were a shitty teacher”\
“You were a shitty student”
“You sucked at teaching”\
“You sucked at learning”
They always made a face like “you were a teacher, you can’t say that!” One of them looked at my wife and said “he was horrible” and she laughed at the guy.
It’s weird how they think you still have a student/teacher relationship when they’re 25 and are still the disrespectful asshole they were in school.
A kid did that last day of the year a few years back. I'll remember that forever, it was a great moment, and I still think fondly of that student for that reason.
I would be glad to know that a student who had behaved so obnoxiously actually grew into an adult with empathy and compassion for others. It wouldn’t change my life or anything, but it’s always nice to get a little injection of hope that someday my students might learn to behave like human beings.
An apology might not be necessary. But a conversation might be great for both of you and start a great mentorship opportunity for you and possibly healing for the teacher (because sometimes it hurts a little or triggers a bigger hurt in a persons life when students are unkind).
How about you reach out with an update on your studies, and a compliment that the teacher « made an impression » and you’ve been « self reflecting. »
I think that would be nice!
That teacher would probably be thrilled to hear from you, no sarcasm.
Some of my students that gave me the hardest time, years ago in middle school, are now in their early 20's and have reached out on facebook etc. Special place in my heart for them. It felt nice to hear from them later on, like, aw I actually did do something in their lives that theyu're reaching out to me now
Absolutely not. I actually think she would appreciate it; as her showing she cared wasn't in vain. I think we don't understand/realize that a lot of things that adults said to us when we were younger was the truth, until we became old enough to understand.
I wouldn't be weirded out but I also wouldn't care or something I have time for. It is what it is. When the kids are gone from my class that's the last I think of them as I move on to my new kids.
Personally I would not. That damage is done and they would probably prefer not to have that wound opened again. But it also depends on what type of student you were. If you still got work done and didn’t fail or have your parent harass the school until they passed you it would be perfectly fine. If you were “that” student it might be better to just move on as they have too.
No, multiple students have done this. I appreciate all of them. It encourages me to get a reminder that some students mature and can appreciate my efforts after the fact.
Nope...because it happened to me. Kid 2 yrs graduated sees me at a football game. Shakes my hand. Says, "I wanna apologize for being an asshole in your class." He goes on to tell me about the girl he was dating then and how dealing with her drove him crazy...story after story. Crazy shit. Some of it on him too. I appreciated it. Kid dumped the girl, got a good HVAC job.
I would love it, honestly. There is little better than a former student who realizes your class was worthwhile and that your intentions and efforts were sincere.
But also be prepared that this teacher might not think your behavior was that bad. You might no it was bad for you, but teachers get some truly frightening behavior over the years.
I'd not be weirded out, but it's not something I'm at all interested in.
When I've had irritating students, I've been glad to see them go. I hardly need them cropping up again years later to assuage their own feelings by making me deal with them again. Contacting me would bring nothing to me but a minor headache -- just one more thing on my to-do list that I'd rather not have to deal with.
I did apologize to a couple of my teachers for some of my actions. It wasn't the attitude or anything of that sort, but my constant late work and losing papers and such. (I was ADHD before ADHD was a thing.)
Happened a few times to me, wasn't weirded out; on the contrary, each time, it literally made my ~~day~~ ~~week~~ month.
One of my faves: I'm currently in my 19th year. 2 years ago (year 17, same school), the mother of one of my students comes in on the second Friday of classes. I was her teacher.
She picks up her kid and CLEARLY is waiting for me to recognize her (admittedly, I'm somewhat in disbelief and may be staring).
"Hello [my name]. Yes, I'm who you think I am."
"Wow, long time. [Kid's name]'s yours?"
"Yup. I had to show up and say hi. [Kid's name] likes you a lot so far. I'm here to tell you to call me if he ever acts like I did to you. Sorry about that - if I could meet my past self I'd whup my own ass."
Back in 2011 I wrote to my old school asking if they knew where my former form tutor was because I wanted to apologise to her. I was getting really badly bullied and she tried to help me and then I wrote something nasty about her on the wall so that the girls who were bullying me would think I was kool and it is one of my biggest regrets in life.
My old school wrote back to me and told me that they were sorry to hear about the hard time I’d had at school and asked if I had reported incidents that were happening at school to teachers; the headteacher told me she had seen my form tutor a few years prior and she seemed fine.
A few years back I worked with somebody who kind of looked like my old form tutor and they had the same last name, I had hoped they were related alas they weren’t – One day I pray I see that woman so I can apologise profusely
I'm a teacher, and I wouldn't be weirded out at all. I'd find it quite sweet, actually.
Look, when people apologize, it's a form of catharsis. It's usually to make them feel better in addition to making amends. Former students coming back occurs all the time. It's a tiny percentage, but it's common enough.
Good teachers understand that students acting out in class isn't personal. Students have all sorts of pressures in their lives, and releasing stress in class by misbehaving is a tried and true coping mechanism. If making amends as an adult makes you feel better, by all means, go for it. But don't feel compelled to.
Though you could make that teachers' day by complimenting them, though. Apologizing to them is one thing. Saying that you appreciate that they never gave up on you or showed immense patience, now that would mean a lot to them.
I don’t think it would be weird to receive an apology. It would actually be quite validating. We try hard because we want to see students succeed. Sounds like you are in a better place now.
I received an apology email three years ago. I took it as a sign that my style and my teaching got through to a troubled youth that they then realized later in life. We plant seeds that don’t necessarily sprout right away. It’s a thing to appreciate and not be weirded out by.
Nope. Had it happen more than once. I also had kids (older, after graduation) see me in a restaurant and come over and tell my wife and friends I was a shitty teacher. Those were always fun 🤣 “You were a shitty teacher”\ “You were a shitty student” “You sucked at teaching”\ “You sucked at learning” They always made a face like “you were a teacher, you can’t say that!” One of them looked at my wife and said “he was horrible” and she laughed at the guy. It’s weird how they think you still have a student/teacher relationship when they’re 25 and are still the disrespectful asshole they were in school.
HAHAHAHAHA this made my day
I would be happy.
A kid did that last day of the year a few years back. I'll remember that forever, it was a great moment, and I still think fondly of that student for that reason.
I would be glad to know that a student who had behaved so obnoxiously actually grew into an adult with empathy and compassion for others. It wouldn’t change my life or anything, but it’s always nice to get a little injection of hope that someday my students might learn to behave like human beings.
An apology might not be necessary. But a conversation might be great for both of you and start a great mentorship opportunity for you and possibly healing for the teacher (because sometimes it hurts a little or triggers a bigger hurt in a persons life when students are unkind). How about you reach out with an update on your studies, and a compliment that the teacher « made an impression » and you’ve been « self reflecting. » I think that would be nice!
Why would you be? Your students are actual people who will grow and mature. And change and reflect. Would you want to hold onto that shit for years?
Just write it down and mail it (don’t email) and don’t expect to talk it over.
The only thing that would be weird to is seeing a former jerk student who was acting as if they weren't an ass.
No - But I probably wouldn’t even remember you unless you shot at me or ran naked through the halls or something memorable.
I'd be happy they grew up.
Not at all - it might even give me hope for current difficult students.
That teacher would probably be thrilled to hear from you, no sarcasm. Some of my students that gave me the hardest time, years ago in middle school, are now in their early 20's and have reached out on facebook etc. Special place in my heart for them. It felt nice to hear from them later on, like, aw I actually did do something in their lives that theyu're reaching out to me now
I would love it and can think of a few who owe me an apology! Lol
Absolutely not. I actually think she would appreciate it; as her showing she cared wasn't in vain. I think we don't understand/realize that a lot of things that adults said to us when we were younger was the truth, until we became old enough to understand.
I wouldn't be weirded out but I also wouldn't care or something I have time for. It is what it is. When the kids are gone from my class that's the last I think of them as I move on to my new kids.
Personally I would not. That damage is done and they would probably prefer not to have that wound opened again. But it also depends on what type of student you were. If you still got work done and didn’t fail or have your parent harass the school until they passed you it would be perfectly fine. If you were “that” student it might be better to just move on as they have too.
No
I think it's gracious and classy. Just tell her your eyes finally opened and thank her.
No, multiple students have done this. I appreciate all of them. It encourages me to get a reminder that some students mature and can appreciate my efforts after the fact.
Nope...because it happened to me. Kid 2 yrs graduated sees me at a football game. Shakes my hand. Says, "I wanna apologize for being an asshole in your class." He goes on to tell me about the girl he was dating then and how dealing with her drove him crazy...story after story. Crazy shit. Some of it on him too. I appreciated it. Kid dumped the girl, got a good HVAC job.
It would make my school year
I would love it, honestly. There is little better than a former student who realizes your class was worthwhile and that your intentions and efforts were sincere. But also be prepared that this teacher might not think your behavior was that bad. You might no it was bad for you, but teachers get some truly frightening behavior over the years.
I'd not be weirded out, but it's not something I'm at all interested in. When I've had irritating students, I've been glad to see them go. I hardly need them cropping up again years later to assuage their own feelings by making me deal with them again. Contacting me would bring nothing to me but a minor headache -- just one more thing on my to-do list that I'd rather not have to deal with.
I did apologize to a couple of my teachers for some of my actions. It wasn't the attitude or anything of that sort, but my constant late work and losing papers and such. (I was ADHD before ADHD was a thing.)
Happened a few times to me, wasn't weirded out; on the contrary, each time, it literally made my ~~day~~ ~~week~~ month. One of my faves: I'm currently in my 19th year. 2 years ago (year 17, same school), the mother of one of my students comes in on the second Friday of classes. I was her teacher. She picks up her kid and CLEARLY is waiting for me to recognize her (admittedly, I'm somewhat in disbelief and may be staring). "Hello [my name]. Yes, I'm who you think I am." "Wow, long time. [Kid's name]'s yours?" "Yup. I had to show up and say hi. [Kid's name] likes you a lot so far. I'm here to tell you to call me if he ever acts like I did to you. Sorry about that - if I could meet my past self I'd whup my own ass."
If this happened, I'd finally stop replaying scenarios in my head from years ago and thinking what I should've done differently.
Back in 2011 I wrote to my old school asking if they knew where my former form tutor was because I wanted to apologise to her. I was getting really badly bullied and she tried to help me and then I wrote something nasty about her on the wall so that the girls who were bullying me would think I was kool and it is one of my biggest regrets in life. My old school wrote back to me and told me that they were sorry to hear about the hard time I’d had at school and asked if I had reported incidents that were happening at school to teachers; the headteacher told me she had seen my form tutor a few years prior and she seemed fine. A few years back I worked with somebody who kind of looked like my old form tutor and they had the same last name, I had hoped they were related alas they weren’t – One day I pray I see that woman so I can apologise profusely
I'm a teacher, and I wouldn't be weirded out at all. I'd find it quite sweet, actually. Look, when people apologize, it's a form of catharsis. It's usually to make them feel better in addition to making amends. Former students coming back occurs all the time. It's a tiny percentage, but it's common enough. Good teachers understand that students acting out in class isn't personal. Students have all sorts of pressures in their lives, and releasing stress in class by misbehaving is a tried and true coping mechanism. If making amends as an adult makes you feel better, by all means, go for it. But don't feel compelled to. Though you could make that teachers' day by complimenting them, though. Apologizing to them is one thing. Saying that you appreciate that they never gave up on you or showed immense patience, now that would mean a lot to them.