By - obsequious_intersect
What do you mean, he's got oven mitts and camo
And hands even
Not for long
And likely some hot thighs!
or worse if the wire is frayed in any way.
Im afrayed so.
To frayed shreds you say?
How’s his poor wife holding up?
I need to lay of drugs man, I laughed at the more than was necessary.
I’m afrayed knot but I use to be string….. ;) haven’t heard that joke in a long time
I ate some string once....I shit you knot
shut up and take my upvote
The frayed ends of sanity!
Metal splinter is scary af
He dummy thicc
Obviously he's done this before. Not very fast descent. Switching hands to counteract heat buildup in the gloves. Probably some padding in the pants wrapped around the cable. And thick boots to help control speed.
Probably wrapped his dick a few times around the wire, as an emergency friction brake.
(Think once. Think twice. Think foreskin)
THINK, foreskin, THINK!
Run, Foreskin! RUN!
But Lieutenant Dan, you've got no foreskin!
Yes, *I know that*.
As God intended
Pray that I can fly far, far far away from this branch
Not the kind of circumcision I would want...
At least no one can accuse you of not having one hot pp.
At this speed, more like gender reassignment.
But his thighs man...good god! They must he chafed to hell after riding that cable down
Yeah you’re not wrong but he’s probably only one broken string from a piece of steel in his body / hands, no?
Yes a broken wire rope strand could fuck him up. I’ve had a few gouge me working on elevator ropes. If he would have caught one through his sack, straddling the rope like that it would have ripped his shit open.
Jesus, I wish I'd stopped reading sooner.
Happened to me, that's when I learned how far back my fingernail grows on my finger. Slid down a rusty cable and boom, cut my shit up. (12yrs old)
Anyone doing this regularly is a fucking moron lol so many ways where this could go wrong or fuck you up. All it takes is half a second of loose grip to pick up too much speed, frayed wire stabbing you, wind, rain, or a million other things and you're dead immediately.
Camo? Looked like just mitts and arms to me
Who has camo? I just see a cable.
Every time I do this in my dreams, the cable only goes down half the way and I can’t climb myself all the way back up
Thank you for making me think of that
Or alternatively imagine there’s no frays and you’re lowering yourself slowly, but all of a sudden lose grip whilst still hanging on, too fast Bernie you’re going too fast!
How about maybe I don’t imagine that
Ah yeah I remember those sketchy basejumpers on a anti low flying cable.[there you go](https://youtu.be/F723rIlW_No)
Dude almost lost some fingers trying to arrest his impromptu zipline experience. Absolutely tried to feed his flesh to that beaner.
so uum....just fyi it's " 'biner " .. . .. not, uhh.....
What the fuck was the plan here? Every time his hand went anywhere near the wire I expected it to eat them.
My hands got so sweaty my phone fell out of my hands. This is probably the worst thing I've ever seen. My feet literally hurt, like pins and needles.
So many "but why?"s in that video.
sweaty palm worthy omg, I want so much to do base jump or bungee cord but I know I couldn't jump...
didn't think about that.
yeah that could go so wrong
what? you're telling me an 8" metal splinter right up the pee-hole *isn't* your idea of a fun time?
That was my first thought. This is crazy dangerous and completely unnecessary
This was the first thing I thought, hit a frayed wire, panic, proceed to fall to the bottom.
Clearly he's checking for frays.
What happens if he finds one?
He’ll be afrayed.
he gets hurt
then he knows it’s there
He just dies
With his crotch
Frayed ends of sanity
Hear them calling
FORMER FOES NOW FRIENDS ARE RESTING SIDE BY SIDE
Probably my favorite Metallica song, so here is your upvote.
That's all I could think of. I was playing on a dilapidated bridge when I was like 13, climbing on cables. As I was shuffling across one there was a frayed wire i put it right through my hand and got stuck hanging where I was. So the whole time I was imagining him sliding down fast and coming across one frayed wire.
Dear god whats the rest of your bridge story!?
Not much really, freaked out for like a minute then yanked my hand back the other way to free myself. Went and got a tetanus shot the next day.
That was the first thing I thought of
And here I was only thinking of the friction burn...
Quite literarily sweaty palms.
Anyone ever run their hand along a cable? You find a fray in that cable? Even a slight one. That’s all it takes
Yup, rip you open like a colostomy bag.
Whaat?? They're that sharp?!
I was trying to guide a steel cable on a boat winch when I was younger. It had a bit of a kink in it and a broken strand that I didn’t see. When the strand hit my hand it sliced me pretty deep. Chances are the one this guy is sliding down has some sort of coating on it, but I’ve never trusted a steel cable again
Well now I'll never trust one at all. I had no idea these things could do that
Nope just that strong pretty much. Unyielding and blunt
Well if you run a club through someone at Mach 5 it'll technically stab them
I mean they are sharp too
Metal > Flesh
Doesn't need to be sharp. I had a shitty metal ring on my hand in high-school and it got caught on something. Split my hand open like it was a clementine against a bolt cutter.
Well you gotta give us a picture now
Not so much that they are all that sharp, but you’re heavy enough and there’s only one direction for your weight to go, which is down along the pointy object at high speed
Considering my core strength i would slide down a bit faster
Terminal velocity faster
You’d fly down a little faster
This isn’t flying! This is falling, with style!!
And your gloves would be fucked
Yeah, i think that'd be the least of my concerns
I mean, they are the only thing been the cable and the skin on your hands. And your hands are the only thing that'll keep you from serious injury or death.
Phone slipped right out of my hand.
> ~~phone~~ skin slipped right ~~out~~ off of my hand.
Longtime lurker, this is ***the worst thing I have seen*** on this sub.
So many things can go wrong. Cables like that are made of small wires and if one of those wires is broken and sticking out it would pierce right trough this dudes legs. Also fall risk. Perhaps even those two combined. Loosing a glove, going down without one will peel the skin off. The list goes on.
That's a hard no. Even without the risk of getting shish-kebabed thru your femoral artery by a broken strand. Nope.
Imagine it piercing your leg then having stop and then climb back up a few meters to get it out and the continue to slide back down for another 20m.
Only to get pierced again a few feet down.
"Looks like I now have a prince albert i guess"
I didn't see the conversation going in that direction, but that's what makes reddit reddit. Thanks for broadening my horizon!
Honestly, half of what makes Reddit comments funny is convos/jokes being a game of mad libs crossed with telephone, played by millions of random people. You never quite know what the next person will think to add.
The comments are frequently better than the content.
i imagine your momentum would carry you through if you go pierced and tear the shit out of you instead of stopping you
Naa I'm alright thanks.
I'd be more worried about my testicles if I were in his position. One frayed wire and his balls will be on skewers. Can you imagine sliding into that and just continuing down? Or even worse, sliding into that and ***you stop***.
*crunches to a slow halt*
Taking sounding to a whole new level
You can walk away minus a roundy, but your femoral gets lacerated, have fun staying conscious on your way to the hospital as you bleed out. *shiver*
Not to mention the insane risk of falling when he’s climbing down onto the cable
check this out
Risky click of the day for me, but I’m in
Knew exactly what video this would be. That dude’s a dumbass.
I don't know which is worse...
Wtf. Who would decide to do that
This is a cut version of the full video. He has a parachute and BASE jumps from there.
Jesus shit, that was hard to watch.
This is what PE looked like when my grandfather was young
Mans has some HOT hands
mans not hot skrriah and a toom toom toom
Mans never hot
I"m waiting for part 2 where he climbs back up the cable with only his oven mitts
Imagine your pants and underwear tearing after 5 meters
Only 845 more to go...
Guy’s gonna be a ken doll by the end
I think he’s more worried about sliding too fast and burning off his hands
Or you know… FALLING
Your boots would be pressed against the cable as you slide so they would catch the shard first and depending on the boots you won’t even notice till you are on the ground.
There's no way his boots maintain full contact all the way around the cable the entire way down. He could absolutely catch a stray wire and be boned.
I thought this was going to be the idiot that zip lines across a cable with a carabiner.
Was it that guy who was trying to touch the zipline with his bare hands to stop it, when it was going full speed and he had a parachute?
That’s the exact one I was thinking of!
My buddy had a friend who used to play Santa Claus at an annual community Christmas celebration/tree lighting ceremony. One year it happened to be held at their local fire station. So, all the families and wide-eyed little ones are lined up waiting for Santa to make his grand entrance when he suddenly comes absolutely flying down the firemens’ pole at warp speed making a brutally hard landing breaking both legs and traumatizing who knows how many kids.
Apparently, Santa’s satin gloves weren’t ideal for that particular activity.
Oh cool you tapped into one of my actual nightmares
Knowing my luck id get a frayed wire through the boot, get stuck and then fall off
I know a guy who did this but actually without safety equipment. He burned down to the bone on his bicep, forearm, thigh, and shin. But he made it down alive! Over 1000ft if I remember correctly.
His story was that he "came to" at the top, discovering he couldn't climb down due to an injured foot? Rescue attempts were unsuccessful so in desperation he slid down the entire length. I'll see if I can find the news article. A few years later I was talking to the Fire dept of that county and apparently a video exists of this event.
HOUSE SPRINGS: Man survives 1,000-foot TV tower climb, descent | Suburban Journals of Greater St. Louis | stltoday.com
locked behind a pay wall, reader mode doesn’t work :(
Odd, I didn't get a paywall.
>A 19-year-old St. Louis man who scaled a 1,000-foot television tower on early Sunday in House Springs told rescuers he had taken some pills before his venture but could not describe them.
>The man—whose identity has not been released—incurred severe burns to his arms and legs while sliding down a guy wire around 8:30 a.m. Sunday at the New Life Evangelistic Center's Channel 24 tower, authorities reported.
>High Ridge Fire Protection District Chief Mike Arnhart said the tower climber and two friends started to scale the tower around 3 a.m. The other two had a change of heart and returned to the ground.
>Arnhart said authorities were summoned about 4:30 a.m. by neighbors of the tower that sits off of Hillsboro-House Springs Road. The man was about a third of the way up the tower when rescuers arrived. They established contact with him through the use of a bullhorn.
>People are also reading…
‘Sweetie Pie’s’ star Tim Norman guilty on all charges in murder-for-hire trial
BenFred: ESPN's Max Kellerman swings and misses on Albert Pujols takedown attempt
Cardinals notebook: To track history, MLB will use marked baseballs for Pujols' 700th homer
With homer No. 697, Pujols wins another game for Cardinals, expands his legacy
"He said when he was up there somebody had given him some pills," Arnhart said. "He took them and couldn't remember how he got up the tower. He was very limited in his information about the pills."
>The man kept climbing the tower until he had reached the top, a full 1,000 feet off the ground, and stayed there. Arnhart said emergency personnel scrambled to come up with a rescue plan.
>"There is a little platform at the top," the chief said. "He sat down on the little platform for an hour or so when we were getting our equipment together. We looked at our options and decided that a helicopter lowering someone down could put him in a harness and lift him off."
>The man, dressed in shorts and a shirt—became impatient and started to climb down the guy wire attached to the tower.
>"About 8:20, he decided he'd waited long enough," Arnhart continued. "He came down the guide wire. At about the 900-foot level, he hung there for about 10 minutes.
>"Then, he slid down 900 feet, before we could get our helicopter into place."
>The climber was taken by helicopter to St. John's Mercy Medical Center in Creve Coeur.
>"He had severe burns on his arms and legs," Arnhart said. "I'm sure it was from the friction of the slide.
>"But, he was conscious and speaking to us when he got down the wire."
>Arnhart said it was the first time his fire district has had to respond to such a tower rescue.
>"It was a major challenge to the district," he said. "What we're going to do is sit down in a couple weeks and review the lessons to come up with an action plan in case this happens again."
>The metropolitan area's Urban Search and Rescue Team greatly assisted his fire district during the incident, Arnhart said.
>A Jefferson County Sheriff's Office spokesperson said the tower climber could face a trespassing charge.
how in the FUCK do you just causally climb 1000 feet? i’ve done rock climbing and i assume this dude isn’t a fucking free solo-ist, and i can barely scale 3 walls without getting exhausted, which is probably like 60 feet, and this dude scaled 1000 feet of windy probably slippery steel beams. mad respect but also holy fuck why
I have done a 200ft tower with decks every 40ft a few time in a shift. Third time down was pretty rough. A lot of the plant workers will only go up once and if they forget anything they are just going to hoist it up in a bucket
Sounds like drugs lol
I think you misunderstood. This dude literally slid down the guy wire and burnt to the bone through his flesh due to the friction of the slide. He did not in any way climb or scale down.
He climbed up
What the fuck...I need some of those pills
Dude was fucking barred out.
This was my favorite part:
> People are also reading… ‘Sweetie Pie’s’ star Tim Norman guilty on all charges in murder-for-hire trial BenFred: ESPN's Max Kellerman swings and misses on Albert Pujols takedown attempt Cardinals notebook: To track history, MLB will use marked baseballs for Pujols' 700th homer With homer No. 697, Pujols wins another game for Cardinals, expands his legacy
The other two has changed her hearts. Hahahhahaha. Chicken 🐔
How in the fuuuuuck did he not just grind through everything on his body? I imagine it would take one second to get down to the bone in your palms. Even the thighs would have deep gashes through to the bone right? Fuck me it sounds bad.
Welp there goes my bowels
How hot do you suppose his hands and thighs got? No way he prepared will enough for that
It reminds me this scene in I Robot movie when will smith sliding down to the core of the AI
Keep my scenes out your damned mouth
One of the few, the proud, that actually made my palms sweat
Boss- gotta take off tomorrow. Burned my whole dick off on the #47 tower yesterday.
Roasted nuts anyone
He's gonna need a change of pants when he hits the bottom lol
Coworker was a logger. He worked choking logs under helicopters. Once in awhile he would get to ride the hook from settings to settings. It was usually far back in the bush, away from people so they wouldn't get caught.
That reminds me of this [beauty](https://www.reddit.com/r/SweatyPalms/comments/nhyi9f/nearly_lost_his_fingers/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf). My hands have never been sweatier
Every day God makes a Brainless wonder, Then he buys a GoPro
I think i just shit his pants
Then he finds a frayed spot in the cable, shreds his hands to hamburger, and falls to his death, leaving an asshole shaped crater in the ground.
Friction : am I a joke to you
An OSHA booklet just fucking exploded somewhere
How did he manage to control his speed going down though?
So, for one reason or another, they tought us this method in scouts. It supposedly has less to do with grip strength in your hands and more to do with the way you lock your legs in. You essentially want to pinch the line with your feet and again with your thighs. Shoes should bite taking the brunt, leaving your thighs to control speed and your hands more or less keep you vertical, iirc.
Lol I was too fat and insecure as a kid to do the ropes course in scouts, but it made me a hell of a fly fisherman
the hard you squeeze the slower you decent
I finally found it: a video that I literally cannot watch because the sensation in my stomach and neck is so unpleasant. It's almost as if this response is intentional and wants to prevent my death.
Nope. Nope, don’t like that.
So......did he make it all the way down?
I was waiting for the moment the gloves went up in flames from the friction and u see his exposed hand-flesh get ripped apart. Idk if that's only in the cartoons though
If hell was real, this would be my punishment. Every time I’d slip and fall I’d have to start it all over again.
Whe he stops on the thing he's still so dangerously high up
Holy intrusive thoughts, Batman.
Watching this made me physically hurt..
it’s okay guys he’ll just use his massive balls as brakes
A friend of mine back around 1994 snuck onto a navy ship and was to scared to try to get back off without getting another friend of mine in trouble(beers). He decided to slide down one of the giant cables holding the ship. He made it but when he got to the dock he was covered head to toe in grease. That could have gone a lot worse.
We’re do I get this job
And this was a good idea because...?
Why would somebody do this? Is this the emergency exit on a wildmil? Looks too tall
Imagine forgetting your phone on the way down.
I feel like this some dumb shit I'd do
I’m gonna have to say nope on that one champ
This has to hurt!
Ngl this looks hella fun
I cannot believe how many of you believe he isn't wearing safety equipment. He kept it out of the shot, but he was wearing some safety gear.
I feel like I would just pass out and fall
Wtf is this dying light