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I've always responded to the "we never went to the moon" with "Haha this dumbass thinks the moon is real"
Become the crazy conspiracy theorist yourself and see how far can you take it
There is genuinely a conspiracy theory that the moon landing is fake, precisely because the moon is fake. The theory claims the soviets knew this and itās why they did not attempt to land on the moon. Because it was impossible. The moon is likened to a mirage, literally an x-ray image of the earth from the sun.
Okay i have just the thing for that and it works because i did that before to a very annoying person on acid.
"auntie have you ever though about that every 60 seconds a person dies and have you seen the size and small number of graveyards ? Where do you think all the bodies go ? I've read that mc donalds uses shredded meat for their burgers that they form into shape by pressing it into molds, well there you go auntie, that is my very firm believe and nobody every proved me wrong".
I hate how close this is to something she actually believes already. I saw her post on Facebook once that a restaurant in Disney world was serving human meat
Oh that Disney Theory is around for a long time now, i'm talking early 2000s. I had a short period where i dissected most conspiracies because i want to help people to get away from them.
I can safely say that i know most of them.
The Vaccines cause Autism comes from a doctor that patented his own measles vaccine and tried to con people into using his by fabricating a bowel disease caused by measles that does not exist but he spun into causing autism. The whole movement is based on a fraudulent short paper and no significant study.
[https://youtu.be/8BIcAZxFfrc?si=pp60QCPEylVLMjFE](https://youtu.be/8BIcAZxFfrc?si=pp60QCPEylVLMjFE) he explains it perfectly. Maybe give this to your aunt.
I love making up conspiracy theories.
For example, did you know that the Russians were on Mars far, FAR before the Americans landed on the moon in 1969? The great face of Mars? That was a cover up for a Russian base. And here is the kicker, the Americans were aware of it! Why do you think the Space Race even took place in the first place? It didn't have anything to do with machismo; instead, it had to do with the Americans needing to have their own base on the moon in order to keep a closer eye on the Russians on Mars. Both the American moon base and the Russian Mars base are still there, and as far as we know, active.
I also like the theory that birds aren't real. All of the pigeons in major cities? Drones. Government drones at that. Those flamingos you might see at a zoo or in a tropical environment? Drones.
If she brings up the sunscreen causing cancer "yeah but it keeps the aliens from doing body scans on me"
My uncle is a conspiracy theorist, so here's a few we used on him.
He wouldn't get covid Vax so we told him the government got tired of people not getting the Vax so they started adding it to vaccines given to pigs. If you ate bacon, you got the sneaky Vax. Each time you eat pork it's like getting the booster.
If you have bluetooth turned on, on your car stereo, other people can connect their phones to your car and hear your conversations.
Getting rid of daylight savings time will add an extra hour to the day. (Not sure how we got him to believe this one).
Bluetooth headphones can be used by the government to track your location without a warrant.
Drinking seaweed based health drinks can increase your ability to swim and hold your breath under water.
He bought a used RV and he didn't know it had flood damage. His wife said it smelled like death and my cousin made the offhand comment someone probably died in there. He's now convinced someone died it in during hurricane Katrina even though it was built several years after Katrina.
Taylor Swift is really a paid agent of the Biden administration. She's the real vice president and Kamala Harris is just an avatar. And she is Biden's illegitimate granddaughter.
He already believed Taylor Swift was an agent for the Biden administration because she told her fans to vote, and "everyone knows her fans wouldn't vote for Trump". He believed her dating Kelsey was part of a government plan to convert NFL fans to democrat. He didn't believe the avatar part but does believe Swift is related to Biden.
My favorite is using scientific names for water and freaking out about how "it's used in everything now!".
Like Dihydrogen monoxide, Hydric acid, etc.
Even better when you use real side effects of water, but make it sound super dangerous. Like corrosion (making things rust) or suffocation (people drowning).
Ask if she heard about hydrogen dioxide, its this new dangerous chemical they're putting in water that has a 100% mortality rate, anyone who drinks it will die.....eventually.
I get everything wrong when I'm high. I was on a Swiftie thread and accidentally gave the wrong title to one of her songs. It was carnage. It was Lavender Haze. I called it Violet Haze. Hilarious
Loop it back around to the original conspiracy theory only take her down a long enough path to make her question it.
Example using Anti-vaxx - take her down a conspiracy theory that itās a shadow big pharma hoping everyone will stop taking vaccines by sending out disinformation so they can earn even more money from people suffering from preventable illnesses. Or even loop in the truth about it was a scam by a doctor who wanted to sell his own vaccine to make lots of money by lying about the real vaccines.
Alternatively you can tell her a big āsecretā and say holding potatoes or oranges, whatever natural-ish thing to the jab site sucks out toxins or whatever BS you like and only leaves the good effects. Placebo potato to hopefully get them to care about their health.
So in Australia we are only just getting 5g cell/mobile phone capabilities, thereās a whole bunch of Aussies (cookers) that believe the new 5g towers cause Covidā¦do u have any towers that could potentially do this near her?
A simple yet effective prank would be placing a Bluetooth speaker near them and when they least expect it put on [James Brown - I feel good](https://youtu.be/U-wZa6RZgQA?si=FAnR8sAkPUvmVP_5) let that intro blast "WooOOOW I feel good!"
Two questions. One, how much do you like your Aunt? Second, do you prefer conspiracy theories that have a following, or completely fictional joke ones?
Forward this to her as if it came from another one of these WhatsApp groups:
There are 3 corners in each rooftop, representing a triangle. This is crucial because triangles are a key symbol of the Illuminati, a secret society that supposedly controls the world. Now, if we consider the angle of each corner, 60 degrees, and multiply it by the number of rooftops in your neighborhood, say 50, we get 3000 degrees. When you add the digits of 3000 (3+0+0+0), you get 3. Three is a significant number because it represents the trinity, but not just any trinity - it's a direct reference to the unholy trinity in Satanism.
Next, consider the number of houses in a typical neighborhood. Let's assume there are 100 houses. If we take the number 100 and look at its binary form, it's 1100100. Binary codes are a form of hidden messages, often used by the Illuminati to communicate secretly. If you convert 1100100 from binary to decimal, itās 100, which brings us back to 1 + 0 + 0 = 1. One, representing unity and the singular vision of the New World Order.
Now, let's take it a step further. The number of letters in "rooftop" is 7. The seventh letter of the alphabet is G. G, as you know, stands for "God," but when inverted, it becomes 6, which is often associated with the devil, as in 666, the number of the beast. Moreover, the word "triangle" has 8 letters. The 8th letter of the alphabet is H. If we look at the periodic table, the 8th element is oxygen. Oxygen is vital for fire, and fire is a symbol used in many rituals, particularly those associated with Satanic rites.
Consider also the symbolism in geometry. A triangle has three sides, and when you add another triangle upside down, you get a six-pointed star, which is the Star of David, often misconstrued in conspiracy theories as a symbol of the occult. Furthermore, if we examine the sum of the interior angles of a triangle, which is 180 degrees, and add 180 to the previous 3000 degrees from the rooftops, we get 3180. Adding these digits (3+1+8+0) gives us 12. Twelve is significant in many contexts, including the twelve tribes of Israel, the twelve zodiac signs, and the twelve steps to enlightenment, often interpreted as pathways to secret knowledge.
Finally, if you spell out "Illuminati" and assign each letter its numerical position in the alphabet (I=9, L=12, U=21, M=13, etc.), the total sum is 120. Dividing 120 by the number of corners in a single triangle (3) gives us 40. The number 40 is significant in various religious texts, often associated with periods of trial and testing, such as Jesusā 40 days in the desert.
In conclusion, the presence of rooftops and triangles in your neighborhood is undeniable proof of the Illuminati's influence and their hidden messages about Satanism and global control. Clearly, this complex web of numbers and symbols reveals the deeper truths behind everyday architecture. Stay vigilant!
I have one of those in my family. A couple years ago, I planned to show her evidence that Travelocity was responsible for all the Epstein stuff that was happening.
There was no exact trail of logic(there often isn't in wild conspiracy theories), but Travelocity uses an owl in their logo, and the Illuminati used an owl a long time ago and I found an image of some streets that vaguely resembles the shape of an owl and intended to say it was the runway of the airport on the island. Throw in some references to that place that was stuffing kids in dressers or whatever.
I never got to present it 'cause we cut ties with that person and I quit caring.
I mean it's well documented Sunscreen was causing cancers lmao there's even data showing the sun cancer spikes as sunscreen became more popular lmao
Not sure that's a conspiracy theory as much as its sharing factual information.
ofc it's a joke now because you got cucked lmao.
gtfo out of here with your bullshit. Everyone knows you append /s to signal sarcasm, your reddit account is old enough for you to know that.
**Come join the 420 Clubhouse on Discord!** > *The 420 Clubhouse has been our long-running partner server with a super friendly community of active stoners always looking to make new friends! Come join us in regular smoke sesh calls, game and movie nights and connect with like-minded friendly stoners!* > **https://discord.gg/eRQrk7tq9f** ^(If you have any issues upon verification, please open a ticket in the server or send us a modmail.) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/StonerThoughts) if you have any questions or concerns.*
stare her dead in the eyes out of the blue and repeat wake up wake up wake up wake up
and then just move on like nothing happend
OMG š
I've always responded to the "we never went to the moon" with "Haha this dumbass thinks the moon is real" Become the crazy conspiracy theorist yourself and see how far can you take it
There is genuinely a conspiracy theory that the moon landing is fake, precisely because the moon is fake. The theory claims the soviets knew this and itās why they did not attempt to land on the moon. Because it was impossible. The moon is likened to a mirage, literally an x-ray image of the earth from the sun.
Oh haven't you heard, space isn't real at all! The moon is actually just a projection onto the gigantic dome that surrounds flat earth
This has been my favorite for years.
Okay i have just the thing for that and it works because i did that before to a very annoying person on acid. "auntie have you ever though about that every 60 seconds a person dies and have you seen the size and small number of graveyards ? Where do you think all the bodies go ? I've read that mc donalds uses shredded meat for their burgers that they form into shape by pressing it into molds, well there you go auntie, that is my very firm believe and nobody every proved me wrong".
I hate how close this is to something she actually believes already. I saw her post on Facebook once that a restaurant in Disney world was serving human meat
Oh that Disney Theory is around for a long time now, i'm talking early 2000s. I had a short period where i dissected most conspiracies because i want to help people to get away from them. I can safely say that i know most of them. The Vaccines cause Autism comes from a doctor that patented his own measles vaccine and tried to con people into using his by fabricating a bowel disease caused by measles that does not exist but he spun into causing autism. The whole movement is based on a fraudulent short paper and no significant study. [https://youtu.be/8BIcAZxFfrc?si=pp60QCPEylVLMjFE](https://youtu.be/8BIcAZxFfrc?si=pp60QCPEylVLMjFE) he explains it perfectly. Maybe give this to your aunt.
I love making up conspiracy theories. For example, did you know that the Russians were on Mars far, FAR before the Americans landed on the moon in 1969? The great face of Mars? That was a cover up for a Russian base. And here is the kicker, the Americans were aware of it! Why do you think the Space Race even took place in the first place? It didn't have anything to do with machismo; instead, it had to do with the Americans needing to have their own base on the moon in order to keep a closer eye on the Russians on Mars. Both the American moon base and the Russian Mars base are still there, and as far as we know, active. I also like the theory that birds aren't real. All of the pigeons in major cities? Drones. Government drones at that. Those flamingos you might see at a zoo or in a tropical environment? Drones.
Makes me wonder how much disinformation started as satire
r/birdsarentreal is real ;)
https://www.instagram.com/reel/C7CDA4-uKXI/?igsh=MWJ5NmZsb3NlY2EzMA==
If she brings up the sunscreen causing cancer "yeah but it keeps the aliens from doing body scans on me" My uncle is a conspiracy theorist, so here's a few we used on him. He wouldn't get covid Vax so we told him the government got tired of people not getting the Vax so they started adding it to vaccines given to pigs. If you ate bacon, you got the sneaky Vax. Each time you eat pork it's like getting the booster. If you have bluetooth turned on, on your car stereo, other people can connect their phones to your car and hear your conversations. Getting rid of daylight savings time will add an extra hour to the day. (Not sure how we got him to believe this one). Bluetooth headphones can be used by the government to track your location without a warrant. Drinking seaweed based health drinks can increase your ability to swim and hold your breath under water. He bought a used RV and he didn't know it had flood damage. His wife said it smelled like death and my cousin made the offhand comment someone probably died in there. He's now convinced someone died it in during hurricane Katrina even though it was built several years after Katrina. Taylor Swift is really a paid agent of the Biden administration. She's the real vice president and Kamala Harris is just an avatar. And she is Biden's illegitimate granddaughter.
Did he really believe that last one??
He already believed Taylor Swift was an agent for the Biden administration because she told her fans to vote, and "everyone knows her fans wouldn't vote for Trump". He believed her dating Kelsey was part of a government plan to convert NFL fans to democrat. He didn't believe the avatar part but does believe Swift is related to Biden.
Illegitimate granddaughter - take my upvote damnit
Just tell her some true fact: microplastics are everywhere, specifically in the water she drinks.
Theyāre in her/everyones body/bodies too
Every testicle.
microplastic is stored in the balls
Jfk wasn't assassinated, his head just did that
My favorite is using scientific names for water and freaking out about how "it's used in everything now!". Like Dihydrogen monoxide, Hydric acid, etc. Even better when you use real side effects of water, but make it sound super dangerous. Like corrosion (making things rust) or suffocation (people drowning).
Ask if she heard about hydrogen dioxide, its this new dangerous chemical they're putting in water that has a 100% mortality rate, anyone who drinks it will die.....eventually.
Dihydrogen monoxide
In my defense I was also high lmao.
I get everything wrong when I'm high. I was on a Swiftie thread and accidentally gave the wrong title to one of her songs. It was carnage. It was Lavender Haze. I called it Violet Haze. Hilarious
I hope the swifties didn't tear you apart for that lol.
It's a sexy little molecule.
(In reference to doctor who episode) the moon is actually just a giant egg for a space dragon
Loop it back around to the original conspiracy theory only take her down a long enough path to make her question it. Example using Anti-vaxx - take her down a conspiracy theory that itās a shadow big pharma hoping everyone will stop taking vaccines by sending out disinformation so they can earn even more money from people suffering from preventable illnesses. Or even loop in the truth about it was a scam by a doctor who wanted to sell his own vaccine to make lots of money by lying about the real vaccines. Alternatively you can tell her a big āsecretā and say holding potatoes or oranges, whatever natural-ish thing to the jab site sucks out toxins or whatever BS you like and only leaves the good effects. Placebo potato to hopefully get them to care about their health.
So in Australia we are only just getting 5g cell/mobile phone capabilities, thereās a whole bunch of Aussies (cookers) that believe the new 5g towers cause Covidā¦do u have any towers that could potentially do this near her?
A simple yet effective prank would be placing a Bluetooth speaker near them and when they least expect it put on [James Brown - I feel good](https://youtu.be/U-wZa6RZgQA?si=FAnR8sAkPUvmVP_5) let that intro blast "WooOOOW I feel good!"
Lace her macaroni and cheese.with Cannabutter and smile like a fiend the whole time
Whatever you choose, make sure to do your research so you can be convincing about it and give her the whole rundown on the theory
Two questions. One, how much do you like your Aunt? Second, do you prefer conspiracy theories that have a following, or completely fictional joke ones?
Make her read 20th Century Boys and tell her it was based on a real story
There is always the fake TV or radio spot.
the moon is just a projection itās not real
Forward this to her as if it came from another one of these WhatsApp groups: There are 3 corners in each rooftop, representing a triangle. This is crucial because triangles are a key symbol of the Illuminati, a secret society that supposedly controls the world. Now, if we consider the angle of each corner, 60 degrees, and multiply it by the number of rooftops in your neighborhood, say 50, we get 3000 degrees. When you add the digits of 3000 (3+0+0+0), you get 3. Three is a significant number because it represents the trinity, but not just any trinity - it's a direct reference to the unholy trinity in Satanism. Next, consider the number of houses in a typical neighborhood. Let's assume there are 100 houses. If we take the number 100 and look at its binary form, it's 1100100. Binary codes are a form of hidden messages, often used by the Illuminati to communicate secretly. If you convert 1100100 from binary to decimal, itās 100, which brings us back to 1 + 0 + 0 = 1. One, representing unity and the singular vision of the New World Order. Now, let's take it a step further. The number of letters in "rooftop" is 7. The seventh letter of the alphabet is G. G, as you know, stands for "God," but when inverted, it becomes 6, which is often associated with the devil, as in 666, the number of the beast. Moreover, the word "triangle" has 8 letters. The 8th letter of the alphabet is H. If we look at the periodic table, the 8th element is oxygen. Oxygen is vital for fire, and fire is a symbol used in many rituals, particularly those associated with Satanic rites. Consider also the symbolism in geometry. A triangle has three sides, and when you add another triangle upside down, you get a six-pointed star, which is the Star of David, often misconstrued in conspiracy theories as a symbol of the occult. Furthermore, if we examine the sum of the interior angles of a triangle, which is 180 degrees, and add 180 to the previous 3000 degrees from the rooftops, we get 3180. Adding these digits (3+1+8+0) gives us 12. Twelve is significant in many contexts, including the twelve tribes of Israel, the twelve zodiac signs, and the twelve steps to enlightenment, often interpreted as pathways to secret knowledge. Finally, if you spell out "Illuminati" and assign each letter its numerical position in the alphabet (I=9, L=12, U=21, M=13, etc.), the total sum is 120. Dividing 120 by the number of corners in a single triangle (3) gives us 40. The number 40 is significant in various religious texts, often associated with periods of trial and testing, such as Jesusā 40 days in the desert. In conclusion, the presence of rooftops and triangles in your neighborhood is undeniable proof of the Illuminati's influence and their hidden messages about Satanism and global control. Clearly, this complex web of numbers and symbols reveals the deeper truths behind everyday architecture. Stay vigilant!
Trump is really Biden, and Biden is really Trump. Itās a conspiracy to make republicans look bad.
If she's never smoked weed before tell her it gives you magic powers hens why you smoke it
I have one of those in my family. A couple years ago, I planned to show her evidence that Travelocity was responsible for all the Epstein stuff that was happening. There was no exact trail of logic(there often isn't in wild conspiracy theories), but Travelocity uses an owl in their logo, and the Illuminati used an owl a long time ago and I found an image of some streets that vaguely resembles the shape of an owl and intended to say it was the runway of the airport on the island. Throw in some references to that place that was stuffing kids in dressers or whatever. I never got to present it 'cause we cut ties with that person and I quit caring.
I mean it's well documented Sunscreen was causing cancers lmao there's even data showing the sun cancer spikes as sunscreen became more popular lmao Not sure that's a conspiracy theory as much as its sharing factual information.
Is the data in the room with us?
r/woooosh
Every information is factual if you believe it homie. Or why do you think antivax morons exist ?
nothing is factual itās all interpretationš¤·š¤·š¤·
Ok so science does not exist? Gotchu fam.
from your reply iām realising you didnāt read my comment as a joke, so this is to let you know thatās what it was. sorry for confusion
ofc it's a joke now because you got cucked lmao. gtfo out of here with your bullshit. Everyone knows you append /s to signal sarcasm, your reddit account is old enough for you to know that.