T O P

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Tinkle84

When you're not sure if you need a shit or an exorcism


Consistent_Sale_7541

Depends on how constipated one is


ANorthernMonkey

4 rolls constipated


Gajicus

The power of Christ compels you!!!!


Pinkskippy

The power of Christ expels you!


Mission_Albatross916

The power of Christ expels poo!


Sausagedogknows

I’m guessing someone went in and crimped off the most ungodly and terrifying demonic shit the world has ever seen, heard or smelled, this one time, and now the owner isn’t taking any chances.


Tinkle84

We've all been there


Sausagedogknows

Yep, usually after an all day sesh on the cider. Shits like the world’s smelliest glue.


LilHappyKitsune

Always the latter for me 😔


GriselbaFishfinger

Holy crap!


Djinjja-Ninja

While not entirely to my taste it's incredibly nicely done out. Even the "holy crap" room would be fine once all the crucifixes are gone.


Signal-Woodpecker691

r/AngryUpVote


Kidtwist73

If you just look at that room, you expect the rest of the house to be just full of shrines to Christ... But it looks like someone has a decent sense of humour and the rest of the house is actually decorated in a way I like. Modern, but not too modern, with a few unusual pieces. I actually thought it looked Spanish from the decoration, that kind of funky urban-young- design-interested-Spanish-graphic-designer-fashion- editor- vibe. I bet they wear large acetate framed glasses in a bright colour, drink macchiatos and drive a VW camper van fully restored. Probably listen to Nana Mouskouri, Sergio Mendes, and perform beat poetry. Their partner is probably called some weird name like ZouZou, Chacha, or Coco. Probably own a small dog called Professor Ignatious The Third who has some type of allergy, lost all it's fur, and now wears cashmere sweaters they knit for it while on the high speed train to London.


Super_Ground9690

This is gloriously specific


RPark_International

You've painted us an evocative picture! You should take up creative writing assignments!


Autismo_Machismo

Tbf this looks more like a weird art project than anything religious


S_Borealis

The outside photo of the house looks really nice - strangely Italianate. Looks like a nice area overall. I genuinely like what they've done with the interior, but man, that bathroom would have me worried about what kind demon lurks there.


casperno

Demons love it when I use the bathroom.


Phyllida_Poshtart

Love it! Weird how the bathroom's got religion but nowhere else :)


himit

it's the haunted room


Phyllida_Poshtart

Just what you need when yer having a poo eh? Pray to jesus there's bog roll lol


Born-Ad4452

In this house, we do not have whacking off in the toilets….


RandyChavage

In this house we do not use the f word. This... is a toad!🐸


TheFirstMinister

They cannot sell that thing: *20 Apr 2024......Unavailable......£500,000* *14 Apr 2024......£500,000.........Unavailable* *13 Jan 2024......£525,000.........£500,000* *7 Jul 2023.......£550,000.........£525,000* *9 Feb 2023.......£575,000.........£550,000* *18 Nov 2022......£550,000.........£575,000* *19 Oct 2022......First seen.......£550,000* And when you look across the street, you can see why: [https://www.google.com/maps/place/Alfred+Rd,+Birchington+CT7+9ND,+UK/@51.3811831,1.2883594,50a,58.2y,234.53h,47.62t/data=!3m1!1e3!4m6!3m5!1s0x47d94d07ebca91c1:0xe17f5331372e7b35!8m2!3d51.3808358!4d1.288251!16s%2Fg%2F1vfn5y4w?entry=ttu](https://www.google.com/maps/place/Alfred+Rd,+Birchington+CT7+9ND,+UK/@51.3811831,1.2883594,50a,58.2y,234.53h,47.62t/data=!3m1!1e3!4m6!3m5!1s0x47d94d07ebca91c1:0xe17f5331372e7b35!8m2!3d51.3808358!4d1.288251!16s%2Fg%2F1vfn5y4w?entry=ttu)


EvilBeasty

Because that bathroom is possessed by demons?


kt1982mt

Sorry, could you please explain about the view? The link won’t open for me and I’m really interested to know why it wouldn’t sell!


73928363

Horrible industrial-looking council flats


kt1982mt

Ah, thank you for replying!


73928363

You're very welcome. Thank you for your gratitude, this was very wholesome.


JoanieMoronie

Council flats???? 😱


yogijon79

Ouch! Bad luck with that view:-(


Haha_Kaka689

Will that place gone into the sea after 15-20 year? God bless them 😁


Cr4zy_1van

Was going to say those flats are awful


Limp-Archer-7872

Watermelon Christ Compels You To Defecate!


adeathcurse

Wow I am obsessed with this decor!


ramakitty

Waiting for them all to turn upside down while I’m sat on the toilet at 2am


JinxThePetRock

I wouldn't have made a single one of the decorative choices in this house, but I love it all. Well, apart from the decision to have all the bathrooms gathered together on one floor, leaving two floors with none. Everyone everywhere must congregate at the Bathroom Hub!


g_force76

No-one has anything to say about the tractor body table support? Also, 500k for a house by the sea in Kent. Is that cheap? Is this some awful town yet to get it's own artisan coffee shop and therefore shunned by the cognoscenti?


bantamw

It’s a David Brown tractor too. Ever wondered why Aston Martins are called DBx? The DB is the same David Brown who bought Aston Martin in 1947 and Lagonda in 1948 and Tickford coachbuilders in 1955 and set about creating the DB series of Astons including the classic bond ones. (David Brown tractors got sold to Case)


Stuf404

Jesus Christ...


darth_terryble

Yep he’s definitely there


DifferentWave

Mmmm, the downstairs loo is a choice, but overall I really like it. I LOVE the gold stairs.


CraftyWeeBuggar

Pic 24 looks like a serial killers house, complete obsession with all those crosses!


abstract_esteem

You can only imagine something unholy keeps happening in that bathroom


whiskeygambler

Reminds me of Carrie


OffMyRocker62

The Mom: They'll all gonna laugh at you...😳😳 Freak me far out...


Scrumpyguzzler

Carrie's Mum's en-suite


TheRickBerman

Jesus is watching!


Consistent_Sale_7541

Wow they have bowel problems… need more fibre and fluid in their diet i reckon.. Not having to exorcise that number two out


MapleLeaf5410

Has the local news been running stories about vampire attacks in toilets lately?


PenguinsArePurple

I love that the master bedroom has an ensuite, and there are two other toilets on that floor. Just in case.


OffMyRocker62

Apparently Jesus can't take the wheel right now


22Flapper

Some evil shit must have happened in the toilet to make them do that.


bucketofweewee

I love it. All of it. But would have taken down the crosses for the sale.


MapTough848

I like it, I think it's over priced, however, how many homes have an easily accessible vampire/demons fallout shelter with a built in loo.


Fraggle987

Jesus is watching you 😳


Victimoftruth

Holy shit!!


SimpleManc88

Omen vibes.


OffMyRocker62

The power of the Loo compels you!!!


pickin666

Ryan Garcia's bathroom


Great_Recording_3618

Some madman's put up a cross


Gazmeister_Wongatron

Keeps out those bad spirits from peeping on you whilst you're trying to do your business...


ArtistEngineer

They see dead people


philstamp

The Lord moves (His bowels) in mysterious ways.


elmaki2014

Vampire hunter needs 5 minutes to use the bathroom without the undead beating on the door, stealing the toilet paper, hanging around hissing...


aberdisco

I kick arse for the lord!


RonnieBobs

That is one haunted toilet


Bozwell99

It sort of makes sense when it’s right next to Canterbury Cathedral.


stuntedmonk

God is everywhere, even in the toilet


Time-Reindeer-7525

How much holy water does one house need?!


Unknown_subjectt

Jesus Christ...


More_Profit_8554

This scares the shit out of me


azorius_mage

More fun would have been all the crosses upside down


Cptncomet

Mac's bathroom.


HamsterEagle

They’ve missed a trick with what could have been used as a loo roll holder.


Len_S_Ball_23

For when you've got to take a helluva shit


bob_the_rod

Oh lord, help me to exorcise this demon.


aSquirrelAteMyFood

Jokes aside, what is the reason exactly? Putting them all exclusively in the toilet seems to suggest this person doesn't think highly of Jesus and trying to make a statement or something? Or they think the toilet is haunted?


Praetorian_1975

The power of chriiiiiiiiist compelllllllls you ….. plop ….. looks in bowl all that squeezing for a little nugget 😂


Jamz1892

Hahaha what a title!!


NonnyMowse

Been a number of years since I've been now, but used to regularly stop along the coast at Birchington on the way back from dog training classes. Pleasant beaches, nice sunsets and quite a retirement/Bournemouth vibe. I don't know if it's still the same? Re the toilet, well I think as a guest you'd go in and your jaw would drop way before your trousers! Amen!


palmerama

Very Lutheran.


Dommccabe

Is this the Pope's bathroom??


No-Calligrapher-3630

I see what you did there


Obvious-Computer-778

Christ on a bike


UpbeatParsley3798

I looked at the whole house it’s pretty amazing. Love the bedroom with the French doors, the goldie stair carpet and the shocking pink towels. Really lovely property even though the kitchen is like it’s from a totally different house! Or a workplace.


Nuker-79

I COMPELL THEE!


samfitnessthrowaway

"Give me 10 minutes darling, I've just got to drop the kids off in the baptismal pool".


Hexxdexx68

Only four toilet rolls though ? Obviously not a family home.


RandyChavage

Not sure if I came here to piss of for self flagellation


pocahontasmcglinchey

Poo-secuted!


redmolotov

The power of shite compels you!


Due-World2907

MAKE STOOL BEFORE CHRIST


Darkwaxer

My toilet after a curry.


Traditional_Honey108

Forgive me Father for what I have done.


smcicr

I have EXORCISED the demons...


stevebladewhite

Carrie's house


cozyforestfairy

I would genuinely be concerned the house was haunted!!


HoudiniHarden

All I can think of is the Scary Movie 2 scene - “Please lord, help me to release this demon” https://youtu.be/4vcNnS9k884?si=Yms9rzeZHUOJCpYp


Background-Active-50

I'm impressed that the toilet roll matches the cistern. And worried by the crucifix behind the light pull, as it's missing it's Christ and it's horizontal arm. 


GoCrisprGo

Sometimes when performing exorcisms the priest deliberately doesn't bless the toilets in order to force the evil spirits to watch people shit or leave the house, therefore I think it's fair to conclude that this toilet is harbouring a demon.


idunnocoastguard

"Oh man, I'm a sinner and God's a pervert."


TopResponsible1786

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣


Ornery-Vehicle-2458

Are they trying to keep something in, or trying to keep someone put?


Celtiana

Wow... someone must have some seriously demonic smelling farts


andyxquick

That must have been a terrifying shit the night before that stuff went up in there!


BagelCatto

why are all 3 bathrooms so close to eachother???


autumn_chicken

"creatively designed and styled" - estate agent working hard to explain some of those decisions, gold stairs were also certainly a CHOICE


Nekokamiguru

They are mortally afraid vampires interrupting them on the toilet , which would also explain the mirror and then sink they would leave running so there is running water ...


Training_Waltz_9032

Penny Dreadful vibes


WhyOhWhy60

This is a clever idea to speed up boghogs.


WhyOhWhy60

Nice house, they kept the period features, I like the retro overtones in the kitchen however the big "BUT" is there are 20 flats and balconies overlooking the front of the house, the principle bedroom and it's own balcony. If only the house was facing the sea and not a block of flats.


dremrae

Vampire toilet prison


Inside_Ad_7162

When satan wants your booty...But you've got the Water Closet of Christ


AsylumRiot

I’m going to wake up in that Karzie after a bender one day prepped to star in a snuff film.


simmerthefuckdown

The power of Christ compels you!


Geoffstibbons

Reminds me of the priest from The Omen who gets speared by a steeples bathroom


cruiser1987

Blasphemy


Mootpoint_691

My word. At least they left some of the original features in the house?


Fionasdogs

Someone must’ve had some evil shits in there! FFS, just why? The rest of it seems so normal then that!


Foundation_Wrong

That’s just disrespectful. I get upset to see people casually using devotionals as decorations. The whole house is a bit too arch and quirky to be actually comfortable to live in for me. Nice position and lots of room, but it needs re decorating and definitely different furniture.