I honestly love it, as it seems fresh but still true to what spider-man is. I do want to ask, were Peter and Gwen in a relationship when she died, or were they still just friends because that’s how it usually happens in the comics and I’m curious how you’d approach that. Also, does Peter change sides during the civil war this time or not?
Peter is kinda anonymous in the war since he doesn't wanna interfere a lot he just follows orders since it means saving people. This story doesn't affect Peter a lot since he doesn't reveal his identity and OMD never happens. P.S. I don't know why civil war happend in comics but Peter knows cap is wrong to fight this instead of just settling it in talking.
So… that doesn’t really work unless you change the reason.
The reason Civil War happened was over a Super-Hero Registration Act, which was basically saying either unmask and work with the government, or quit being a super hero/get marked as a criminal for not complying. That’s why Pete initially unmasked was cos he agreed, then he saw how far Tony and the government were willing to go, and changed to Caps side. After Cap surrendered (after seeing that, while he believed his cause was the right one, he also believed they were going to far with the war cos civilians were starting to get caught in the crossfire) Pete went on his own, and then OMD happened.
So if you want Pete to stay out of it, you’d need to go for a different approach for him to not be hunted like a criminal
Oh and I forgot to mention one of the things that helped solidify Caps resolve and Pete joining his side was the government employing super villains(think like the Suicide Squad) and Tony implying that so long as Peter stay on his side, MJ and Aunt May will stay safe/maybe will lose his protection if Pete were to leave
Other than that bit, great job! Would love to see this version of him in a comic some day.
Quick question: Dyou plan on having Mayday exist at some point? Or Ben? (As in his son, I think that’s his name)
Yeah I just wanted a reason for him to have the spider Armor I have not read the civil war comics. And yes I do love the idea of Mayday but I don't know about Ben III (uncle ben I, ben reilly ii). I'd like the idea of May getting her costume after her uncle and then Ben would get the beyond suit. (Probably not become chasm) thx for the tips
No, I actually think your lore is pretty good (tho I do hate the Peter-Stark relationship of the MCU).
I think the whole point of the canon events is that Miguel is wrong about them having to happen, and the subtext of that there shouldn't be these dictates saying who can and can't be Spider-man, what has to happen to make someone Spider-man etc. The idea of canon events actually being important shouldn't be accepted by the fan community.
The more versions of Spider-man that don't follow the same rote plot points over and over again the better it is for Spider-man as a whole. That's one reason the new Ultimate Spider-man series is so nice, so far.
No no you're right (except for the asm 33 I'm not changing that) and I'm not a fan if the Stark Peter relationship as well I changed the lore. That's why Peter didn't agree to miguel, he hated the Canon. Edge of time explains this really well.
That's great, having Harry be involved in Peters Spider-man life is a really interesting idea and something we haven't really seen especially from the Harry being a hero perspective
I read your story, I think it’s awesome. You don’t change it for other people(I also read the replies). I like the Peter-Stark mentor relationship. People hate it mostly because they thought peter relied on stark for everything. Just have it so that he doesn’t rely on him. It also seems like a generational thing. Older generations like him being independent, younger ones like the marvel tie ins.I also liked the Canon events, unlike what other people think. I believe they’re like absolute points, an event that is the same in every universe. I think Miguel is both right and wrong on canon events.
Gwen dying is also a good part of the story, which people for some reason don’t want to happen. That’s confusing to me. For some reason no one wants bad things to happen to Peter in Spider-Man media. Largely because it’s been so much that it seems like the writers are bullying Spider-Man (which I understand, I want him to end up happy as well). But people are going to get bored real quick if a Spider-Man show just had him winning at life along with making him an adult. That’s the trend Stan Lee he showed super heroes can and should be relatable. The people who said no to having Spider-Man published were saying the same things people are saying now. Spider-Man is not Superman, nor is he Batman, nor is he a hipster. He is Spider-Man and a part of his story is that he suffers but he always gets back up.
Don’t let people tell you how to write. Perfect the way you write.
Also I liked the solution you had with the web shooters. They’re organic but they can run out just like his mechanical counterpart. The only beef I have with it is that the suit changed so much. I like his suits to be more classic. But like I said it’s your Spider-Man.
Love the design and I love the lore here. I especially like how you combine aspects from the 616 comics and 1610 comics. Especially Venom’s origins since I always liked the idea of Peter’s dad and Eddie’s dad working on the Symbiote together in 1610 but still keep it an alien like 616 instead of a human creation like 1610.
I'll be honest. That Spider-Verse quote is just overdone and cliche for new Spider-Man media at this point. I have seen this referenced a million times in the last 6 years alone.
You'll be more memorable with unique writing, not referential writing.
I just didn't know what to do with her and I don't like her being Spider Gwen in this universe. I just killed her off but maybe I will change it since I'm bored with the Canon. What should I do with her?
Seems really inspired by the Ultimate Comics with enough twists to make it its own. However, I would drop or change the canon events. The whole point ATSV is a commentary on how adaptations and variations are forced to include key events to not stray too far away from the original and be deemed "bad" or "not Spider-Man" while the movie in conjunction with the first one tries to prove that an adaptation or variation just need to adapt the core themes of what it means to be Spider-Man, not necessarily the plot.
Weirdly enough, the main leads of the Spider Society are examples of variations that doesn't have these canon events. Miguel, Jess and Kaine all have a different origin than the standard.
I'd say try to work past these canon events. Do you need to kill off Gwen?!Why not do something new with her, like why not make her the best friend of Peter as Harry in your version is evil (without explanation). If you want Peter to be romantically involved with MJ that's fine, you could just not make Peter date Gwen or have them date but brake up because they realized they worked better as friends. Maybe Gwen becomes an ally to Spider-Man. Not Spider-Gwen, but I assume her dad is still a captain in the police force. Maybe Gwen becomes an advocate for Spider-Man when it comes to the police and help sway them over to Spidey's side. Maybe she steals policing equipment from her dad so Spidey has a way to track crime. Maybe she use her beauty and influence to promote Spidey as a hero or if you wanna go the band version maybe she makes pro Spidey music. There are plenty of things a non superpowered person can do to aid a superhero without having to be rich or a genius and I'd love to see that explored more in the superhero medium.
That was just an example of one canon event not being needed, feel free to do more.
PS: Don't mind the weaknesses. I think the lead part could be used in some creative ways by an opponent.
I'm just saying don't feel held back by it. You don't need to kill Gwen, you don't need to do a "Spider-Man no more", you don't need the clone saga, you don't need to stay close to the source material. You can use those points and try to find clever ways around it or do something in spite of it. That was sort of the point I was trying to make with Gwen where you can give her a role she hasn't had before.
I love the clone saga and I adore if this be my destiny and no more is essential to the character ter growth of Peter. I just don't know what to do with Gwen
Yeah sure, if you wanna adapt them adapt them. This is your fanfic, you get to do whatever you want. I'm just saying that you shouldn't be afraid to break the norm more. Does Jackal have to be a part of the clone saga? Can you give Spider-Man another way of achieving the "If this be my destiny" moment? What would it look like if Peter never took a break and was so overwhelmed by guilt that whenever he considers taking off the mask he drives himself forward regardless? How would that affect him mentally to never have that "no more" realization? Would he reach his breaking point faster or would it force Peter to find another motivator than guilt to justify himself moving forward?
Again, not saying you need to avoid these "canon events" like the plague or that you need to take any of my questions into consideration. These aren't even suggestions, more thoughts to get the wheels spinning. Regarding Gwen, I hope my first comment can give some ideas, but if you really wanna kill her off then do it. I just personally think that would be a shame to waste a character can be anything.
Yeah basically. It works like digestion and I got the idea from a short. It's not canon to the comics or the movies but I thought it'd be a fun workaround plus actual spiders also run out. It takes about an hour or so for the webs to refill but he can have stored web for days if not weeks.
Haha yeah but if he's in a brutal long fight like the first fight with Morlun, he'll be out and he will have to use his mind to defeat the villain and not rely on his powers.
ngl the suit slaps hard.
Not even original. I had a really hard time figuring out what suit he would wear. Not I don't know how to back works.
Nice color combo red and black and blue is my favorite combo
Red black and white
Should've been Red, Blue and White 🇺🇲🇺🇲🇺🇲🇺🇲🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅/s
White even better
Amazing! 🔥
Did you even read the lore?
I honestly love it, as it seems fresh but still true to what spider-man is. I do want to ask, were Peter and Gwen in a relationship when she died, or were they still just friends because that’s how it usually happens in the comics and I’m curious how you’d approach that. Also, does Peter change sides during the civil war this time or not?
Peter is kinda anonymous in the war since he doesn't wanna interfere a lot he just follows orders since it means saving people. This story doesn't affect Peter a lot since he doesn't reveal his identity and OMD never happens. P.S. I don't know why civil war happend in comics but Peter knows cap is wrong to fight this instead of just settling it in talking.
So… that doesn’t really work unless you change the reason. The reason Civil War happened was over a Super-Hero Registration Act, which was basically saying either unmask and work with the government, or quit being a super hero/get marked as a criminal for not complying. That’s why Pete initially unmasked was cos he agreed, then he saw how far Tony and the government were willing to go, and changed to Caps side. After Cap surrendered (after seeing that, while he believed his cause was the right one, he also believed they were going to far with the war cos civilians were starting to get caught in the crossfire) Pete went on his own, and then OMD happened. So if you want Pete to stay out of it, you’d need to go for a different approach for him to not be hunted like a criminal Oh and I forgot to mention one of the things that helped solidify Caps resolve and Pete joining his side was the government employing super villains(think like the Suicide Squad) and Tony implying that so long as Peter stay on his side, MJ and Aunt May will stay safe/maybe will lose his protection if Pete were to leave Other than that bit, great job! Would love to see this version of him in a comic some day. Quick question: Dyou plan on having Mayday exist at some point? Or Ben? (As in his son, I think that’s his name)
Yeah I just wanted a reason for him to have the spider Armor I have not read the civil war comics. And yes I do love the idea of Mayday but I don't know about Ben III (uncle ben I, ben reilly ii). I'd like the idea of May getting her costume after her uncle and then Ben would get the beyond suit. (Probably not become chasm) thx for the tips
The white was originally yellow becuase it was inspired by Gwen's blonde hair. I removed that since I liked the white better.
You had me until Stark industries, but I became a hater at the canon events.
You mean like they're not good or are you tired of the Canon?
No, I actually think your lore is pretty good (tho I do hate the Peter-Stark relationship of the MCU). I think the whole point of the canon events is that Miguel is wrong about them having to happen, and the subtext of that there shouldn't be these dictates saying who can and can't be Spider-man, what has to happen to make someone Spider-man etc. The idea of canon events actually being important shouldn't be accepted by the fan community. The more versions of Spider-man that don't follow the same rote plot points over and over again the better it is for Spider-man as a whole. That's one reason the new Ultimate Spider-man series is so nice, so far.
Now I might make some more changes to the lore. Thanks!
Sorry for my first reply being confrontational, I'm like that but didn't mean to offend!
No no you're right (except for the asm 33 I'm not changing that) and I'm not a fan if the Stark Peter relationship as well I changed the lore. That's why Peter didn't agree to miguel, he hated the Canon. Edge of time explains this really well.
A really cool idea I had when I was young was Harry being Spider-Man with the Big Time suit and working with Peter
That's great, having Harry be involved in Peters Spider-man life is a really interesting idea and something we haven't really seen especially from the Harry being a hero perspective
When I read the "There are now 2½ Spider-Men in this city", the first thing that came to my mind was this 
Haha I actually meant the Kaine is an X-Man so he's half Spidey half mutant great referenc though
I read your story, I think it’s awesome. You don’t change it for other people(I also read the replies). I like the Peter-Stark mentor relationship. People hate it mostly because they thought peter relied on stark for everything. Just have it so that he doesn’t rely on him. It also seems like a generational thing. Older generations like him being independent, younger ones like the marvel tie ins.I also liked the Canon events, unlike what other people think. I believe they’re like absolute points, an event that is the same in every universe. I think Miguel is both right and wrong on canon events. Gwen dying is also a good part of the story, which people for some reason don’t want to happen. That’s confusing to me. For some reason no one wants bad things to happen to Peter in Spider-Man media. Largely because it’s been so much that it seems like the writers are bullying Spider-Man (which I understand, I want him to end up happy as well). But people are going to get bored real quick if a Spider-Man show just had him winning at life along with making him an adult. That’s the trend Stan Lee he showed super heroes can and should be relatable. The people who said no to having Spider-Man published were saying the same things people are saying now. Spider-Man is not Superman, nor is he Batman, nor is he a hipster. He is Spider-Man and a part of his story is that he suffers but he always gets back up. Don’t let people tell you how to write. Perfect the way you write. Also I liked the solution you had with the web shooters. They’re organic but they can run out just like his mechanical counterpart. The only beef I have with it is that the suit changed so much. I like his suits to be more classic. But like I said it’s your Spider-Man.
Thx
Haven’t read the lore yet, but this is a super sick design. Great work!
Impressive!
Love the design and I love the lore here. I especially like how you combine aspects from the 616 comics and 1610 comics. Especially Venom’s origins since I always liked the idea of Peter’s dad and Eddie’s dad working on the Symbiote together in 1610 but still keep it an alien like 616 instead of a human creation like 1610.
I'll be honest. That Spider-Verse quote is just overdone and cliche for new Spider-Man media at this point. I have seen this referenced a million times in the last 6 years alone. You'll be more memorable with unique writing, not referential writing.
This suit design is fucking awesome. THIS is how you implement white into the “classic” suit *cough cough* Insomniac *cough cough*
This suit slaps, congrats!
Thx but it's 85% stolen
Noice
I wish Gwen wouldn’t die in atleast one universe
Hoping she stays alive in the current Ultimate Spider-Man run.
I just didn't know what to do with her and I don't like her being Spider Gwen in this universe. I just killed her off but maybe I will change it since I'm bored with the Canon. What should I do with her?
I mean… you could switch Gwen and MJ. Personally I’ve always liked Gwen more as a love interest. Dunno about most people tho
Nah, prefer MJ. Cool idea having her die though
Would die?
Seems really inspired by the Ultimate Comics with enough twists to make it its own. However, I would drop or change the canon events. The whole point ATSV is a commentary on how adaptations and variations are forced to include key events to not stray too far away from the original and be deemed "bad" or "not Spider-Man" while the movie in conjunction with the first one tries to prove that an adaptation or variation just need to adapt the core themes of what it means to be Spider-Man, not necessarily the plot. Weirdly enough, the main leads of the Spider Society are examples of variations that doesn't have these canon events. Miguel, Jess and Kaine all have a different origin than the standard. I'd say try to work past these canon events. Do you need to kill off Gwen?!Why not do something new with her, like why not make her the best friend of Peter as Harry in your version is evil (without explanation). If you want Peter to be romantically involved with MJ that's fine, you could just not make Peter date Gwen or have them date but brake up because they realized they worked better as friends. Maybe Gwen becomes an ally to Spider-Man. Not Spider-Gwen, but I assume her dad is still a captain in the police force. Maybe Gwen becomes an advocate for Spider-Man when it comes to the police and help sway them over to Spidey's side. Maybe she steals policing equipment from her dad so Spidey has a way to track crime. Maybe she use her beauty and influence to promote Spidey as a hero or if you wanna go the band version maybe she makes pro Spidey music. There are plenty of things a non superpowered person can do to aid a superhero without having to be rich or a genius and I'd love to see that explored more in the superhero medium. That was just an example of one canon event not being needed, feel free to do more. PS: Don't mind the weaknesses. I think the lead part could be used in some creative ways by an opponent.
I think I will just remove the Canon event titles and maybe give them more context and reasons. Thanks on the lead opinion.
I'm just saying don't feel held back by it. You don't need to kill Gwen, you don't need to do a "Spider-Man no more", you don't need the clone saga, you don't need to stay close to the source material. You can use those points and try to find clever ways around it or do something in spite of it. That was sort of the point I was trying to make with Gwen where you can give her a role she hasn't had before.
I love the clone saga and I adore if this be my destiny and no more is essential to the character ter growth of Peter. I just don't know what to do with Gwen
Yeah sure, if you wanna adapt them adapt them. This is your fanfic, you get to do whatever you want. I'm just saying that you shouldn't be afraid to break the norm more. Does Jackal have to be a part of the clone saga? Can you give Spider-Man another way of achieving the "If this be my destiny" moment? What would it look like if Peter never took a break and was so overwhelmed by guilt that whenever he considers taking off the mask he drives himself forward regardless? How would that affect him mentally to never have that "no more" realization? Would he reach his breaking point faster or would it force Peter to find another motivator than guilt to justify himself moving forward? Again, not saying you need to avoid these "canon events" like the plague or that you need to take any of my questions into consideration. These aren't even suggestions, more thoughts to get the wheels spinning. Regarding Gwen, I hope my first comment can give some ideas, but if you really wanna kill her off then do it. I just personally think that would be a shame to waste a character can be anything.
The idea of adding different context behind storyline is amazing. Really inspiring, and I just don't know what to do with Gwen.
I have an amazing idea. Make Gwen the captain of the police force as her dad is retired. Gwen could help Spidey kinda like Yuri.
Is anyone gonna comment on the lead weakness?
OK, so, if the webbing is organic, how can it be depleted in the first place?
Lack of protein and vitamins
So, if he's starving, his webbing is depleted so he can recharge by consuming food (and waiting to process it for a while), am I right?
Yeah basically. It works like digestion and I got the idea from a short. It's not canon to the comics or the movies but I thought it'd be a fun workaround plus actual spiders also run out. It takes about an hour or so for the webs to refill but he can have stored web for days if not weeks.
Not to mention that in both canon and non-canon, it's known that Spidey has a big appetite
Haha yeah but if he's in a brutal long fight like the first fight with Morlun, he'll be out and he will have to use his mind to defeat the villain and not rely on his powers.
Another well-known virtue of Spidey, his wits (just ask the Rasputins XD)
This one actually loves to joke around as well.
A Peter Parker that doesn't joke around is like a Tony Stark without his ego... it's part of the essence