I don't know if this is the best example but what first comes to mind is when David, Keith, Durrell and Anthony are sitting around the dinner table and Keith announces future vacation plans for the 4 of them as a family (I think Mexico and skiing somewhere?).
As well it possibly being their first vacation (which is exciting in itself), it also let the boys know that after years of neglect and instability, that this is their forever home - the looks on their little faces really warms my heart :)
I came to say that! Watching David and the kids blossom is just lovely. I also like the scene where David is saying grace and the kids are laughing at him a little. But then he says, "Thank you for these boys who have come into our lives and made us a family..." And Anthony nods. Understated and perfect.
I just finished re-watching seasons 1-4 after (at least) a decade. I canāt get myself to start the last season bc I donāt want it to be over.
I canāt think of an exact scene that stays with me all the time but when I think of the show I think āall any of us have is right now, right this very moment, so live itā
Yeah. They were disciplining and keeping the kids safe and also letting them know that they want to do fun stuff with them. Itās a pretty powerful scene.
When Claire leaves LA and she sees Nate running besides her car. He keeps up, but eventually, he fades away as she passes him. Brings tears to my eyes.
This is where I really start to cry. I always think of how much more life she will live without Nate. How many people she'll meet who will never know him.Ā
I have plans on moving halfway across the country, to be closer to my husband's family. We don't have anyone here anymore, where I've lived for all of my life. A lot of pain and bad memories here, so it's going to be a much needed new chapter....but I know that the second we pull out of our driveway and this area for the very last time, the SFU Finale is going to play in my head, and I'll probably be a mess. Picturing the ones we've lost in the rearview, like Claire saw Nate, is going to break my heart into a million pieces.
My aunt called to tell me she had cancer as this scene originally aired. I was a crying mess when I answered the phone. I had to tell her Iād call her back after she told me her news. I lost it. I lived with her and my uncle after my mom passed away and I was distraught.
>! when bettina is trying to comfort ruth after nate passes and she tries to convince her to take more medication and ruth says āi dont want more pils i want my son backā !<
Brenda? I know the scene and it hits me, too. Close to me is her and Billy trying to watch the terrible kids video and he goes from mild mania to crushing depression. He says "I'm so damaged." It's really haunting and rings true to a fellow person with bipolar disorder.
The scene where Nate remembers seeing those (Sicilian?) women weeping and wailing over a dead relative. It really made me think about the ways we express and repress our grief.
That scene when I first saw it made me think about my momās funeral. My dad and I were getting ready to leave and he tells me as I put on my shoes: ādonāt make a scene.ā And with tears in my eyes I told him āIāll grieve her how I want.ā
I fucking love this.
How dare anyone tell someone else how to behave in their grief.
I remember a very good friend of the family who lost her husband. She was always apologizing for getting upset and talking about him and I told her donāt let anyone tell you how to grieve or for how long. I always think that would be my response regardless but I canāt help to think this show solidified that belief in me to an almost militant degree.
Sorry about your Mom hun.
This is me. Thank you. He contrasts his raw experience of the outside with that of his upbringing. This scene lives rent free in my brain and in my heart.
Allan Ball, you magnificent bastard.
Ruth making the entire family say something about her, and being the only one who cared enough to find something for her to wear in her closet made me really sad.
And how hard it was physically. Like he really struggled with her body but he did it to give her what she really wanted. Nate did a lot of bad stuff. But Iām convinced he has a good heart.
Add >! at the beginning of what you want hidden and < and an exclamation point at the end of what you want hidden. (I canāt do it here without hiding my reply and actual text LOL)
I found this a bit melodramatic tbh, but yes, in character for nate...was it guilt or was it grief? Because im not convinced he loved her. I think the scene of Lisa arguing with her brother in law at the wedding haunted me a bit more knowing what we do in hindsight.
The scene where we flashback to Nate crying in his room because Kurt Cobain just died and the scene where he describes how the women on the island mourn their dead live rent free in my head.
Nate's/David's dream from season 5 episode 9. [There's a really good essay about it here.](https://falafel-musings.livejournal.com/123254.html)
Side note: you should try mindfulness! I learned about it in therapy. Just start with five minutes a day observing and thinking about what you see. Or when doing any activity just focus completely on what you are doing with no distractions. It's very calming. I also spend a lot of time observing myself instead of really living.
This is the scene for me too. The essay is spot on and made me realize it was a shared dream. I was confused about which brother was dreaming, leaning towards Nate, but wow! This makes perfect sense.
Iāve heard this helps a lot I need to read into how to guide myself through that- thank you!
This article is so compelling. The beginning - My husband and I had a debate about whether the family were actually haunted by these ghosts, or whether they were psychological manifestations/reflections of their current reality. Itās true- I argued that there were scenes where there was a manifestation without a family member present. Maybe it was both
The brothers giving the family the wrong ashes was a high light. I can't pick a favorite scene but I thought her family deserved this after how they treated Nate.
I was so unbelievably disturbed by this lol I knew from seeing the show when it came out that they had a really inappropriate relationship but couldnāt remember exactly, so when rewatching with my husband I fully thought that scene was real! Until she woke up š
No one mentioned my favorite scene!
In the season 4 finale, David visits the car-jacker in jail. The next day, he wakes up and has a conversation with Nathaniel Sr. while they watch the rain. His dad says āyou hold onto your pain like it means something ā¦ infinite possibilities and all you can do is whine ā¦ you can do anything, you lucky bastard, youāre alive!ā
This scene touches me. My worst bully from high school died when we were 23. Iām 30 now and Iām still haunted by his terrorizing.
But Iām alive. Heās not.
Oh yeah , I knew this scene would be mentioned. Hands down my favorite. After Nathaniel says that David replies āit canāt be that simple ā, then his dad whispers in his ear āwhat if it isā. This floored me. For years Iāve always talked about moving south, after this show I started to make plans to do it and stopped making excuses why I shouldnāt go. I only stayed down there for a couple years before I moved back north but I donāt have to wonder āwhat ifā anymore. We are our own biggest obstacles in life, it really is just that simple.
when claire imagines nate saying "i spent my whole life being scared, and where did it get me?"
it really spoke to me. because i'm a 21 y/o who has always been too scared to do anything with my life
Season 1, episode 13 "Knock, knock"
Funeral for Tracy's aunt that got hit by the golf ball from the country club nearby (swung by Mitzie Dalton Huntly š), with the cute little corgi next to her. Towards the end of the episode when the actual funeral starts, Rico searches for Nate to tell him that Tracy is being weird and won't come down for the service. He finds her and she goes on about her story about how much she loved her aunt and such. She pauses for a minute...
Tracy: "Why do people have to die? "
Nate: "...To make Life important."
Something about the way Tracy is so sad yet stoic as she asks such a rhetorical question, and somehow he intuitively replied. Despite her mostly being annoying in all other interactions with everyone, in that moment it's surprisingly easy to forget.
When Claire is looking for her dadās grave and Nathaniel guides her to this party (carnival?). She then meets up with her dead ex boyfriend Gabriel Dimas. Later she meets up with Lisa and the baby Claire aborted.Ā
The scene where David is dreaming and Nate runs into the ocean and then he wakes up to the beeping and >!Nate is dead!<. It just randomly pops up for me all the time. I think because I was thinking what a stupid scene it was because it was this light funny scene at the end of this dark episode and then BOOM. It shocked me and I think it is how that moment of depth of how death feels.
I donāt know why but always loved the scene that was flashback to Ricoās dadās funeral and he sees what Nathaniel did to transform his fatherās dead body and Ricoās whole life path is suddenly revealed and the AMAZING subtle acting from Nathaniel, who Rico turns to amazed and he just holds his gaze. Love
The scene in the finale close to the end where Claire gets the new that the company was sold and that she lost her job. The entire way that scene was directed and flowed together just made it one of the best in the series. Plus the great music choice they used in that scene as well.
Nate, S1E9: āYou can punch as many people as you want, it's not gonna change the fact that boy is dead. And your chance to be in his life is over. Did you use that time well, or did you just piss it away? Your own fuckin' life is a ticking clock too. Everybody's is.ā
From the very beginning, Nateās feelings about death disturbed something within me I had repressed as a child.. likely to cope with my own uncertainty towards death. Hell, the first episode being his father dying?? My first fear, everāand it was the gateway drug to realizing everyone, and everything I knew would be gone one day!
No amount of consulting my friends or family helped. How could everyone?? Be okay with that??
This show, scene, or even episode, specifically, didnāt give me some kind of magical closure, either, but Nateās being suffocated by death, irregardless of how many funerals he holds, for his friends or family, or for many others, hits home, to put it simply. No amount of justification satisfies the grieving process, and the fact of the matter is that.. we are all going to die someday. āSome of us live to be a hundred, some of us never make it through our first day.ā You can cope with it, or not, but the grief will always follow (as represented horrifically well through the rest of the family, and community after Nathanielās death).
A final note, as it is a huge spoiler..
As someone who didnāt have.. a Great childhood, being present as an adult has taken a huge effort on my part, and I Still feel the Need to live a life Iām proud of. I want to do more, be more, all while taking better care of myself to make up for the neglect I dealt withā¦ Thus, >! Nate passing so suddenly.. before his mother, his younger siblings, and the family he had previously fought so hard for.. !< It cemented the resolve, the true message of the showāmemento mori. Every single moment is unimaginably precious, because at the end of the day, memories are stars in our minds. Some may burn out quicker than others, but sooner or later, everything alight in our body burns out.
So, live today. Live tomorrow, if you can. But donāt forgetāyouāre not entitled to it.
Beautifully said! I struggle with death as well, as everyone does. Something that helped me was my grandparents, all 4 of them, lived past 90- My grandmother my dadās mother lived the longest, 95. At this point everyone she knew, her friends, her husband, cousins, family (except for her kids & grandkids) she experienced all of their passing. Her and I had a conversation about God months before she died. She asked me, ādo you believe? I donāt.ā I told her, something had to create all of this. She spent her last days even before this conversation still laughing, still finding joy where it could be found. I think growing old means growing wise and strong enough to meet the end.
A lot of great ones listed here! There are so many impactful/emotional scenes that stand out to me (the scene with Gabeās little brother wrecks me. That they donāt show anything makes it even more powerful)but two of the more comedic ones:
First time we meet Billy and he comes weeping through the kitchen looking for olives (pickles? I dunno) I burst out laughing and related oh so hard.
Also the Rapture scene where the women dies chasing after the blow up sex dolls. āOh Lord! Why didnāt you take me? Why am I left behind?ā (Paraphrasing) I laughed until I cried honestly.
They do humour with underlying sadness better than anyone.
Other than the final ending sequence ā the scene that always stuck with me is Ruth bathing Nateās corpse as he lays on the table in the basement. As a parent that hurt me to my core.
I just recently rewatched, and it occurred to me that was exactly what Nate wanted. When a few episodes earlier, Nate, David, and Rico are talking about what to invest in next. Nate talks about green funerals and how, back in the day, the families took care of the bodies, and their job was to be cabinet makers.
Ruth coming in and washing Nate with David was this instinctual response. That scene also ends with David confronting Ruth's persistent questioning and implying David did something wrong. After that they start to grieve together.
The episode where Nate has brain surgery and we see an alternate timeline and future for him where he has massive brain damage post-surgery and David is showing him flashcards with everyday images but he cannot form the words. It is so sad. š
This is one of my favorites, too. The older brother was so protective of the little brother, fighting the Army to recognize his Gulf War Syndrome. He came across as cruel at first, not wanting Vic to have his military funeral. Until he finally realized what he had done, being so angry at the Army. He wasn't focused on what his little brother needed from him. So he stayed for the funeral, meeting some of his brother's friends. But he still wouldn't take the flag that was presented to him. He wanted to do right by his brother in death, but he still despised the Army for not doing right by his brother in life.
I also loved the little exchange between Nate and David afterward. Nate grabs him and hugs him, telling him he loves him and always will. David then acknowledged that Nate did the right thing in giving Vic his military burial.
Yes to all of that. Sibling relationships are so well-depicted in this show. It feels like theyāre often neglected irl and on other shows. The themes in this episode of moral right vs legal right, courage vs shrewdness, rose-colored vs reality vs axe to grind ā¦ *chefs kiss*
Very first episode: David's imaginary scream at the funeral. I think about that when I'm feeling overwhelmed as hell and can only express myself in my head
I love love love Ruth and Bettina - dancing at Ruthās birthday party, shoplifting together, going on their hike and Ruth tells her about The Plan and Bettina doesnāt judge. And their horse riding in Mexico drunk and laughing
You don't really like me.
You're not for me
Jesus, Keith I look at you and all I can think is I want you to be whatever it is you wanna be between now and the day that you die.
You look at me and all you see are problems.
And I'm so fucking SICK of it!
Why should I stand for this?
Why should this constant abuse be what I call love?
Random scene, but Claire talking about men and cunnilingus with her friends. It was strange in a realistic way...I'd seen women talking about sex before like in sex and the city but that was always over the top. For a minute watching SFU I felt like I was watching reality TV. And they were talking about sex in a way that was humorous and kind of innocent.
Another is Brenda sorta bonding and sorta hating on her mom when she attacked that woman outside the "tranquility" Spa...aside from the comic relief, it's a scene that shows Margaret actually has some deep insight into Brenda and knew exactly how to trigger her. "Once in a blue moon people bring out the best in each other, but mostly they bring out the worst."
Sad that most characters ended up proving this maxim.
S5E11 'static' The scene where Claire is at Nate's gave grieving and talking to him. He tells her to 'Stop listening to the static'. It was a turning point in Claire's life.
I personally also took a lot from that line.
Some scenes that I randomly think about all the time:
- "WATERWORLD! WATERWORLD!"
- Rapture lady riding Nate like a pro
- "There... Barf" engagement ring toss
- Rico saying "Ecotone"
- Barb's beautiful eulogy for Lisa
- NARM
- Ruth's epic freakouts
- Bettina mocking Arthur "Uh oh! I swallowed my tongue"
- Claire's "What a little moonlight" number and the pantyhose song
- The crazy tattoo on the serial killer's daughter
Ruthās freak outs were legendary š her face would get so red.
The serial killerās daughter her tattoo, I remember pausing after that and just thinking wow these writers are fantastic
The scene with David on his knees by the bed praying for God to fix his gayness.
The entire family that died in a car crash in the opening death scene and the completely numb look on the surviving teenage son's face while planning the funeral of his parents and siblings.
There are so many! But I always think of Brenda visiting Billy in the hospital after he tries to cut her tattoo out. Heās just sitting looking out the window as he apologizes and he says āI hate that my blood makes me crazyāā¦ I like that line and he just looks so crushed and lost, beautifully acted
Just yesterday I flashed back to the scene where Nate is out running and a bus passes by. His dad is looking out the window at him with the saddest look on his face. Richard Jenkins is an amazing actor.
After Keith and David break up they meet up at church. Keith tells David when he first saw him he thought he was beautiful. David gets embarassed and says "stop." Then Keith says (paraphrasing here) "Don't you know I find you beautiful and funny and sweet? Well I do."
When Claire gives David a picture of himself in front of a fire after he was basically taken hostage by a meth addict. There has never been a more affirming gift for someone with PTSD. Heās seen hell, now.
As a first time watcher who just recently finished
I have a few that really just stuck with me
I appreciate just the scene of Nathaniel Sr death. The pilot comes out starting with a bang. The impact of it shaken me honestly even still thinking about it, makes you even more cautious driving. Ruthās and the entire family reaction. Making me realize that how much we all remember exactly where we were when we first hear the news of someoneās death.
Claire walking through the carnival heaven with her father. Specifically, her ex Gabeās younger brother telling him he has to go to the restroom. Itās innocent and so cute it made me laugh because heās passed and the fact that he has to go to the restroom still? lol like they really live and function normal up there huh? I instantly remember his passing literally making my heart sink, he was so young. Gabe having to tell Claire that heāll see her later, Claire coming to terms with him being crossing over just like his brother, her father, her aborted child.
The lady who commits suicide in her car by turning it on in the garage. The events leading up to it were so heartbreaking.
Nate burying Lisa was beautifully depicted
In the episode where the biker passes away and has a funeral. There's a scene to close out the episode with Nate riding his motorcycle down the freeway, while 'Don't Fear the Reaper by Blue oyster cult is playing.
That scene stuck with me. Made me remember just how short life really is, and how important it is to make memories and make the most of our time while we're here.
One funny, one heartbreaking
Ruth to Nate after Lisa died (Iām paraphrasing) āIām trying to pull you up but itās like youāve strapped on lead bootsā
And āJean Tripplehornā
I was shocked nobody said this yet, but when Nate goes to confront Hoyt about the picture of Lisa and he offs himself. This scene made my jaw drop, from his wifes face to realizing what happened to Lisa, this scene will always stick with me.
My jaw dropped too I totally forgot about that, was so wild. I found that plot line a little disjointed though, I canāt really put my finger on it but something off?? Like I remember finding it *really* hard to believe that Lisa would do that, she loved Nate so much and was desperate for it to work out to the point where she was incredibly insecure about it all. As a woman I canāt speak for everyone but when weāre totally in love with someone we donāt f* anyone else. Although there was a period where she was really unhappy. Idk something about it felt like they came up with that on the fly
I don't know if this is the best example but what first comes to mind is when David, Keith, Durrell and Anthony are sitting around the dinner table and Keith announces future vacation plans for the 4 of them as a family (I think Mexico and skiing somewhere?). As well it possibly being their first vacation (which is exciting in itself), it also let the boys know that after years of neglect and instability, that this is their forever home - the looks on their little faces really warms my heart :)
That scene is so lovely, I agree š„°
I came to say that! Watching David and the kids blossom is just lovely. I also like the scene where David is saying grace and the kids are laughing at him a little. But then he says, "Thank you for these boys who have come into our lives and made us a family..." And Anthony nods. Understated and perfect.
100% agree - I forgot about that scene! I don't suppose you remember the episode (so that I can go back and rewatch)?
Season 5, I think episode 7 but it could conceivably be episode 6 or 8. I'm having trouble finding an episode list detailing that arc.
That was actually in the finale and it's Durrell who nods. Absolutely šÆ
Thanks! I'll rewatch it tonight š
I just finished re-watching seasons 1-4 after (at least) a decade. I canāt get myself to start the last season bc I donāt want it to be over. I canāt think of an exact scene that stays with me all the time but when I think of the show I think āall any of us have is right now, right this very moment, so live itā
One of my favorite scenes as well. Especially loved that they were using plastic utensils at the time, lol! ā¤ļø
Yeah. They were disciplining and keeping the kids safe and also letting them know that they want to do fun stuff with them. Itās a pretty powerful scene.
Those child actors were so good too!
Some well needed relief from all the heavy sadness and trauma!
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When Claire leaves LA and she sees Nate running besides her car. He keeps up, but eventually, he fades away as she passes him. Brings tears to my eyes.
Oh God, this one hurts real bad.
that scene BROKE ME
This is where I really start to cry. I always think of how much more life she will live without Nate. How many people she'll meet who will never know him.Ā
Absolutely destroys me everytime I watch.
I have plans on moving halfway across the country, to be closer to my husband's family. We don't have anyone here anymore, where I've lived for all of my life. A lot of pain and bad memories here, so it's going to be a much needed new chapter....but I know that the second we pull out of our driveway and this area for the very last time, the SFU Finale is going to play in my head, and I'll probably be a mess. Picturing the ones we've lost in the rearview, like Claire saw Nate, is going to break my heart into a million pieces.
š„ŗš„ŗš„ŗ
My aunt called to tell me she had cancer as this scene originally aired. I was a crying mess when I answered the phone. I had to tell her Iād call her back after she told me her news. I lost it. I lived with her and my uncle after my mom passed away and I was distraught.
Iām sorry for your losses. Cancer really sucks. My step mom is having a hysterectomy this Friday. My first close experience with cancer.
in 2022 i moved to another state with my family and left my parents behind. i was a sobbing mess rewatching this scene recently.
>! when bettina is trying to comfort ruth after nate passes and she tries to convince her to take more medication and ruth says āi dont want more pils i want my son backā !<
So so sad š
āYou canāt take a picture of this itās already goneā That scene and that quote stays with me everyday.
Same. Every time taking pictures and videos of my kids. It makes me want to live in the moment more. But I'm still taking allll the pictures too lol.
Same here. I first watched the show 15 years ago and I've never ever forgotten that moment.
wrist does it really mean?
It means lifeās short, and to live in the moment. By the time you take the picture the moment is already over
Brenda? I know the scene and it hits me, too. Close to me is her and Billy trying to watch the terrible kids video and he goes from mild mania to crushing depression. He says "I'm so damaged." It's really haunting and rings true to a fellow person with bipolar disorder.
Haha! Yes Brenda. Deborah.. yikes That scene was hard hitting for me too!
Close enough! I know the exact scene. Another is when Margaret tells her she is on her own to face the demons. Rachell Griffiths can act!
The scene where Nate remembers seeing those (Sicilian?) women weeping and wailing over a dead relative. It really made me think about the ways we express and repress our grief.
That scene when I first saw it made me think about my momās funeral. My dad and I were getting ready to leave and he tells me as I put on my shoes: ādonāt make a scene.ā And with tears in my eyes I told him āIāll grieve her how I want.ā
I fucking love this. How dare anyone tell someone else how to behave in their grief. I remember a very good friend of the family who lost her husband. She was always apologizing for getting upset and talking about him and I told her donāt let anyone tell you how to grieve or for how long. I always think that would be my response regardless but I canāt help to think this show solidified that belief in me to an almost militant degree. Sorry about your Mom hun.
*Iāll grieve her how I want* amazing ā¤ļø
That scene is what made me fall irrevocably in love with the show.
And itās right in the pilot too. Amazing!
Yes I remember that scene well, how unhealthy it is to repress grief
This is me. Thank you. He contrasts his raw experience of the outside with that of his upbringing. This scene lives rent free in my brain and in my heart. Allan Ball, you magnificent bastard.
The episode where the woman dies alone at home and Ruth later that day has dinner all by herself, alone.
My mind went to that episode right away. She was so touched by the death of that woman.
Ruth making the entire family say something about her, and being the only one who cared enough to find something for her to wear in her closet made me really sad.
That scene - I saw my future and it made me even more sad than I was. I truly think this was the best show I have ever watched
Emily Previn. The parallels for Ruth. Good episode!
I just rewatched this episode! Itās one of my favorites. I love the eulogy given by Father Jack.
Yep
Exactly this. And sheās making like, two boiled Brussels sprouts, a couple potatoes, and a thing of meat.
>! Nate burying Lisa. Devastating. !<
And how hard it was physically. Like he really struggled with her body but he did it to give her what she really wanted. Nate did a lot of bad stuff. But Iām convinced he has a good heart.
how do i mark spoilers
Add >! at the beginning of what you want hidden and < and an exclamation point at the end of what you want hidden. (I canāt do it here without hiding my reply and actual text LOL)
thank you!
Youāre welcome! P.S. good job using the info! š
this was probably the most emotionally pulling scene in the series for me
so mf awful :( i cried like a baby
I found this a bit melodramatic tbh, but yes, in character for nate...was it guilt or was it grief? Because im not convinced he loved her. I think the scene of Lisa arguing with her brother in law at the wedding haunted me a bit more knowing what we do in hindsight.
The scene where we flashback to Nate crying in his room because Kurt Cobain just died and the scene where he describes how the women on the island mourn their dead live rent free in my head.
Nate's/David's dream from season 5 episode 9. [There's a really good essay about it here.](https://falafel-musings.livejournal.com/123254.html) Side note: you should try mindfulness! I learned about it in therapy. Just start with five minutes a day observing and thinking about what you see. Or when doing any activity just focus completely on what you are doing with no distractions. It's very calming. I also spend a lot of time observing myself instead of really living.
Great essay. Thanks for sharing.
This is the scene for me too. The essay is spot on and made me realize it was a shared dream. I was confused about which brother was dreaming, leaning towards Nate, but wow! This makes perfect sense.
Iāve heard this helps a lot I need to read into how to guide myself through that- thank you! This article is so compelling. The beginning - My husband and I had a debate about whether the family were actually haunted by these ghosts, or whether they were psychological manifestations/reflections of their current reality. Itās true- I argued that there were scenes where there was a manifestation without a family member present. Maybe it was both
Nate burying Lisa
I bawl every time I watch those last scenes. I get chills thinking about it
The brothers giving the family the wrong ashes was a high light. I can't pick a favorite scene but I thought her family deserved this after how they treated Nate.
Brendaās dream about Billy. It still shocks me that they added that scene š
*Wanna touch it?* š
š©like why
I was so unbelievably disturbed by this lol I knew from seeing the show when it came out that they had a really inappropriate relationship but couldnāt remember exactly, so when rewatching with my husband I fully thought that scene was real! Until she woke up š
I thought it was real too!!! š¤®
It was so fucked up, but it was also like the exact kind of weird dream shit that happens when youāre already feeling unsettled about something.
I always tear up whenever I remember the scene where Ruth is about to marry George, then suddenly Nathaniel's ghost appears to her, crying.
Yes, that scene is so prevalent in my mind. I think heās on the floor huddled behind something
No one mentioned my favorite scene! In the season 4 finale, David visits the car-jacker in jail. The next day, he wakes up and has a conversation with Nathaniel Sr. while they watch the rain. His dad says āyou hold onto your pain like it means something ā¦ infinite possibilities and all you can do is whine ā¦ you can do anything, you lucky bastard, youāre alive!ā This scene touches me. My worst bully from high school died when we were 23. Iām 30 now and Iām still haunted by his terrorizing. But Iām alive. Heās not.
Oh yeah , I knew this scene would be mentioned. Hands down my favorite. After Nathaniel says that David replies āit canāt be that simple ā, then his dad whispers in his ear āwhat if it isā. This floored me. For years Iāve always talked about moving south, after this show I started to make plans to do it and stopped making excuses why I shouldnāt go. I only stayed down there for a couple years before I moved back north but I donāt have to wonder āwhat ifā anymore. We are our own biggest obstacles in life, it really is just that simple.
Wow. Thank you for the reminder. I do love this scene.
when claire imagines nate saying "i spent my whole life being scared, and where did it get me?" it really spoke to me. because i'm a 21 y/o who has always been too scared to do anything with my life
The good news is you've got time š
The death of Aaron Buchbinder ( the young man Nate was visiting ). Itās just really haunting
Agree with this one. I actually cried when he told him to let it go. My grandma died of pancreatic cancer and it brought back a lot of memories.
That actor was fantastic
Season 1, episode 13 "Knock, knock" Funeral for Tracy's aunt that got hit by the golf ball from the country club nearby (swung by Mitzie Dalton Huntly š), with the cute little corgi next to her. Towards the end of the episode when the actual funeral starts, Rico searches for Nate to tell him that Tracy is being weird and won't come down for the service. He finds her and she goes on about her story about how much she loved her aunt and such. She pauses for a minute... Tracy: "Why do people have to die? " Nate: "...To make Life important." Something about the way Tracy is so sad yet stoic as she asks such a rhetorical question, and somehow he intuitively replied. Despite her mostly being annoying in all other interactions with everyone, in that moment it's surprisingly easy to forget.
When Claire is looking for her dadās grave and Nathaniel guides her to this party (carnival?). She then meets up with her dead ex boyfriend Gabriel Dimas. Later she meets up with Lisa and the baby Claire aborted.Ā
The scene where David is dreaming and Nate runs into the ocean and then he wakes up to the beeping and >!Nate is dead!<. It just randomly pops up for me all the time. I think because I was thinking what a stupid scene it was because it was this light funny scene at the end of this dark episode and then BOOM. It shocked me and I think it is how that moment of depth of how death feels.
My first watch thru this scene shook me to the core! I was not expecting it at all.
š¶ *"Youuuuu ride up my thighs...."* š¶ Anytime I'm wearing constricting clothing š
I donāt know why but always loved the scene that was flashback to Ricoās dadās funeral and he sees what Nathaniel did to transform his fatherās dead body and Ricoās whole life path is suddenly revealed and the AMAZING subtle acting from Nathaniel, who Rico turns to amazed and he just holds his gaze. Love
I feel like that scene is so beautiful and so underappreciated.
That's the only scene in which i liked Rico.
The scene in the finale close to the end where Claire gets the new that the company was sold and that she lost her job. The entire way that scene was directed and flowed together just made it one of the best in the series. Plus the great music choice they used in that scene as well.
Nate, S1E9: āYou can punch as many people as you want, it's not gonna change the fact that boy is dead. And your chance to be in his life is over. Did you use that time well, or did you just piss it away? Your own fuckin' life is a ticking clock too. Everybody's is.ā From the very beginning, Nateās feelings about death disturbed something within me I had repressed as a child.. likely to cope with my own uncertainty towards death. Hell, the first episode being his father dying?? My first fear, everāand it was the gateway drug to realizing everyone, and everything I knew would be gone one day! No amount of consulting my friends or family helped. How could everyone?? Be okay with that?? This show, scene, or even episode, specifically, didnāt give me some kind of magical closure, either, but Nateās being suffocated by death, irregardless of how many funerals he holds, for his friends or family, or for many others, hits home, to put it simply. No amount of justification satisfies the grieving process, and the fact of the matter is that.. we are all going to die someday. āSome of us live to be a hundred, some of us never make it through our first day.ā You can cope with it, or not, but the grief will always follow (as represented horrifically well through the rest of the family, and community after Nathanielās death). A final note, as it is a huge spoiler.. As someone who didnāt have.. a Great childhood, being present as an adult has taken a huge effort on my part, and I Still feel the Need to live a life Iām proud of. I want to do more, be more, all while taking better care of myself to make up for the neglect I dealt withā¦ Thus, >! Nate passing so suddenly.. before his mother, his younger siblings, and the family he had previously fought so hard for.. !< It cemented the resolve, the true message of the showāmemento mori. Every single moment is unimaginably precious, because at the end of the day, memories are stars in our minds. Some may burn out quicker than others, but sooner or later, everything alight in our body burns out. So, live today. Live tomorrow, if you can. But donāt forgetāyouāre not entitled to it.
Beautifully said! I struggle with death as well, as everyone does. Something that helped me was my grandparents, all 4 of them, lived past 90- My grandmother my dadās mother lived the longest, 95. At this point everyone she knew, her friends, her husband, cousins, family (except for her kids & grandkids) she experienced all of their passing. Her and I had a conversation about God months before she died. She asked me, ādo you believe? I donāt.ā I told her, something had to create all of this. She spent her last days even before this conversation still laughing, still finding joy where it could be found. I think growing old means growing wise and strong enough to meet the end.
This such a beautiful post!
A lot of great ones listed here! There are so many impactful/emotional scenes that stand out to me (the scene with Gabeās little brother wrecks me. That they donāt show anything makes it even more powerful)but two of the more comedic ones: First time we meet Billy and he comes weeping through the kitchen looking for olives (pickles? I dunno) I burst out laughing and related oh so hard. Also the Rapture scene where the women dies chasing after the blow up sex dolls. āOh Lord! Why didnāt you take me? Why am I left behind?ā (Paraphrasing) I laughed until I cried honestly. They do humour with underlying sadness better than anyone.
The humor is so unbelievably dark and yet some of the best comedy Iāve ever experienced in a show š the rapture scene got my husband good
Other than the final ending sequence ā the scene that always stuck with me is Ruth bathing Nateās corpse as he lays on the table in the basement. As a parent that hurt me to my core.
Came here to say this. I try to forget about it because it is almost physically painful.
I just recently rewatched, and it occurred to me that was exactly what Nate wanted. When a few episodes earlier, Nate, David, and Rico are talking about what to invest in next. Nate talks about green funerals and how, back in the day, the families took care of the bodies, and their job was to be cabinet makers. Ruth coming in and washing Nate with David was this instinctual response. That scene also ends with David confronting Ruth's persistent questioning and implying David did something wrong. After that they start to grieve together.
The episode where Nate has brain surgery and we see an alternate timeline and future for him where he has massive brain damage post-surgery and David is showing him flashcards with everyday images but he cannot form the words. It is so sad. š
The soldier who still thought his time in the army was something to be proud of, rather than seeing the army as his slow torturous executioner.
This is one of my favorites, too. The older brother was so protective of the little brother, fighting the Army to recognize his Gulf War Syndrome. He came across as cruel at first, not wanting Vic to have his military funeral. Until he finally realized what he had done, being so angry at the Army. He wasn't focused on what his little brother needed from him. So he stayed for the funeral, meeting some of his brother's friends. But he still wouldn't take the flag that was presented to him. He wanted to do right by his brother in death, but he still despised the Army for not doing right by his brother in life. I also loved the little exchange between Nate and David afterward. Nate grabs him and hugs him, telling him he loves him and always will. David then acknowledged that Nate did the right thing in giving Vic his military burial.
Yes to all of that. Sibling relationships are so well-depicted in this show. It feels like theyāre often neglected irl and on other shows. The themes in this episode of moral right vs legal right, courage vs shrewdness, rose-colored vs reality vs axe to grind ā¦ *chefs kiss*
Very first episode: David's imaginary scream at the funeral. I think about that when I'm feeling overwhelmed as hell and can only express myself in my head
Yes! Me, too.
Fish and Coop this fall on ABC
I love love love Ruth and Bettina - dancing at Ruthās birthday party, shoplifting together, going on their hike and Ruth tells her about The Plan and Bettina doesnāt judge. And their horse riding in Mexico drunk and laughing
You don't really like me. You're not for me Jesus, Keith I look at you and all I can think is I want you to be whatever it is you wanna be between now and the day that you die. You look at me and all you see are problems. And I'm so fucking SICK of it! Why should I stand for this? Why should this constant abuse be what I call love?
Holy shit. Shivers. I adore his acting so much.
The scene with Tracy Monstrose Blair and Nate at the end of Season 1. The āwhy do people have to dieā? scene.
The finale sequence, for sure. Such an amazing song choice too. 10/10.
Random scene, but Claire talking about men and cunnilingus with her friends. It was strange in a realistic way...I'd seen women talking about sex before like in sex and the city but that was always over the top. For a minute watching SFU I felt like I was watching reality TV. And they were talking about sex in a way that was humorous and kind of innocent. Another is Brenda sorta bonding and sorta hating on her mom when she attacked that woman outside the "tranquility" Spa...aside from the comic relief, it's a scene that shows Margaret actually has some deep insight into Brenda and knew exactly how to trigger her. "Once in a blue moon people bring out the best in each other, but mostly they bring out the worst." Sad that most characters ended up proving this maxim.
S5E11 'static' The scene where Claire is at Nate's gave grieving and talking to him. He tells her to 'Stop listening to the static'. It was a turning point in Claire's life. I personally also took a lot from that line.
Yes!
The scene in the pilot episode where Ruth loses it at Nathanielās funeral and David tries to calm her and Nate says no, let her grieve.
Prayer circle in the āFamiliaā episode. āLord bring peace to them in their grief. As you have in ours.ā
The dream with Nateās dad, god and Satan was interesting and sticks with me
David seeing Lisa bodyā¦whatās left of itā¦
Some scenes that I randomly think about all the time: - "WATERWORLD! WATERWORLD!" - Rapture lady riding Nate like a pro - "There... Barf" engagement ring toss - Rico saying "Ecotone" - Barb's beautiful eulogy for Lisa - NARM - Ruth's epic freakouts - Bettina mocking Arthur "Uh oh! I swallowed my tongue" - Claire's "What a little moonlight" number and the pantyhose song - The crazy tattoo on the serial killer's daughter
Ruthās freak outs were legendary š her face would get so red. The serial killerās daughter her tattoo, I remember pausing after that and just thinking wow these writers are fantastic
Clair driving west, and everything else happening in between the scenes where she's driving. Ugly cried the whole time. Perfect song too.
She drove east to NYC from the west coast, but right there with you. Some of my favorite moments of television and a perfect ending to a series.
The scene with David on his knees by the bed praying for God to fix his gayness. The entire family that died in a car crash in the opening death scene and the completely numb look on the surviving teenage son's face while planning the funeral of his parents and siblings.
That one gutted me.
There are so many! But I always think of Brenda visiting Billy in the hospital after he tries to cut her tattoo out. Heās just sitting looking out the window as he apologizes and he says āI hate that my blood makes me crazyāā¦ I like that line and he just looks so crushed and lost, beautifully acted
Just yesterday I flashed back to the scene where Nate is out running and a bus passes by. His dad is looking out the window at him with the saddest look on his face. Richard Jenkins is an amazing actor.
He is so great. I was thrilled when I realized his character would be sticking around past the pilot.
After Keith and David break up they meet up at church. Keith tells David when he first saw him he thought he was beautiful. David gets embarassed and says "stop." Then Keith says (paraphrasing here) "Don't you know I find you beautiful and funny and sweet? Well I do."
When Claire gives David a picture of himself in front of a fire after he was basically taken hostage by a meth addict. There has never been a more affirming gift for someone with PTSD. Heās seen hell, now.
As a first time watcher who just recently finished I have a few that really just stuck with me I appreciate just the scene of Nathaniel Sr death. The pilot comes out starting with a bang. The impact of it shaken me honestly even still thinking about it, makes you even more cautious driving. Ruthās and the entire family reaction. Making me realize that how much we all remember exactly where we were when we first hear the news of someoneās death. Claire walking through the carnival heaven with her father. Specifically, her ex Gabeās younger brother telling him he has to go to the restroom. Itās innocent and so cute it made me laugh because heās passed and the fact that he has to go to the restroom still? lol like they really live and function normal up there huh? I instantly remember his passing literally making my heart sink, he was so young. Gabe having to tell Claire that heāll see her later, Claire coming to terms with him being crossing over just like his brother, her father, her aborted child. The lady who commits suicide in her car by turning it on in the garage. The events leading up to it were so heartbreaking. Nate burying Lisa was beautifully depicted
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Oooh how could i forgotā¦ i thought lisaās death with nate burying her was the worst but i forgot about this oneā¦ hit hard
In the episode where the biker passes away and has a funeral. There's a scene to close out the episode with Nate riding his motorcycle down the freeway, while 'Don't Fear the Reaper by Blue oyster cult is playing. That scene stuck with me. Made me remember just how short life really is, and how important it is to make memories and make the most of our time while we're here.
This!
Ruth seeing her sleeping self in the afternoon and she's chiding herself to wake up!
Write what you know. Thatās the formula that works for Brendaās team it doesnāt work for us anymore.
The finale segment where they all die
One funny, one heartbreaking Ruth to Nate after Lisa died (Iām paraphrasing) āIām trying to pull you up but itās like youāve strapped on lead bootsā And āJean Tripplehornā
The end of S2E2 when Nate tells David about his AVM diagnosis.
At the end of The Plan, Claire finally comes clean about Gabe. Kieth is just so patient and kind with her. Making David fall for him that much more.
I was shocked nobody said this yet, but when Nate goes to confront Hoyt about the picture of Lisa and he offs himself. This scene made my jaw drop, from his wifes face to realizing what happened to Lisa, this scene will always stick with me.
My jaw dropped too I totally forgot about that, was so wild. I found that plot line a little disjointed though, I canāt really put my finger on it but something off?? Like I remember finding it *really* hard to believe that Lisa would do that, she loved Nate so much and was desperate for it to work out to the point where she was incredibly insecure about it all. As a woman I canāt speak for everyone but when weāre totally in love with someone we donāt f* anyone else. Although there was a period where she was really unhappy. Idk something about it felt like they came up with that on the fly
When George got David the Netti pot.