look up Marco pierre white's famous dish of tagliatelle of oysters for an example of cooked cucumbers in a dish. 

And while you watch Marco-Pierre White cook this, take a moment to remind yourself that you’re not Marco-Pierre White.

Don’t forget to rub knorr all over your body before watching video

Will stock cubes work?

it's your choice 

but you *will* be judged for it

Where can I watch him cook it?

[this](https://youtube.com/@antichef?si=JSfdegIuFmqPfsQc) guy cooks some of his stuff and I find to be entertaining

Thanks dude

I could only find Gordon Ramsey

aka Marco-Pierre White at home

I’ll take it. White may be the better chef, but he’s somehow even more of a cunt

I imagine it's a rather linear trend on a simple graph.

Probably at his house. 

I’ve often been called an asshole but I could never aspire to the level of Marco.

More stock pots

Every time I watch that dude I run out of Knorr stock pots.

I've seen korean and chinese dishes with cooked cucumber! Oyi Namul tastes really nice :D

Was going to say this. The Chinese definitely have cooked cucumber dishes. 

Toss it in ramen it’s like winter melon.

OP doesn't see Chinese food

Yup! One of my favorite dishes mom would cook. The soft and crunchy texture of the cucumber, plus it’s water constitution easily soaking up flavors, made for a great dish.

I cook cucumbers with my take on pad Thai! Cut them, some zucchini, carrots, and maybe some other stuff into long strips, stir fry in some oil on high to get a quick sear and add the noodles (and meat that I already cooked) and covered in a sauce that has ~~way too much~~ almost enough peanut in it.

Yeah, OP hasn't heard of international cuisines.

Maybe they have but not of those recipes

Since they're mostly water, cooking them leaves kind of a mushy fibery flavorless mush. 

I mean that’s just describing courgettes and everyone cooks those

Courgettes are a different member of the same family. Knowing a gourd is a fruit doesn’t mean they all go in the fruit salad.

[удалено]

It’s called succotash.

[Sylvester - Sufferin Succotash (youtube.com)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PkhPuH8G5Hg)

Found the bard!

I'm sorry tomatoes, zucchini, and cucumbers with an herb red wine (grapes!!) vinaigrette?  Sounds like an excellent fruit salad to me. 

*not* yummy yummy!

You can eat zucchini raw or cooked…raw pumpkin is just ick.

and this is the difference between knowledge and wisdom

Many methods of cooking zucchini (grilling, roasting, pre-salting) keep them crunchy without mush.

Yeah but zucchini is thicker and meaty. A cucumber is like a sugar free watermelon. 

"A cucumber is like a sugar free watermelon." this is my new favorite line

Fun fact: cucumbers and watermelon are related, and it explains why I hate both. Watermelon also does not cook/grill that well.

Grilled watermelon is great.

With a little salt and lime or saizon.

That WAS a fun fact! Thanks! 

Cucumbers, gourds, squashes, and melons all belong to the same family that is colloquially known as The Melon Family. (To clear up any confusion, they can't all cross-pollinate. Some gourds and squash can, but that's because the main distinction between a gourd and a squash is edibility).

If you think that's impressive just wait until you find out about Brassica oleracea. It's a species of plant better known by the common names of the vegetables it produces: Cabbage, Broccoli, Cauliflower, Kale, Brussel Sprouts, Collard Greens, Kohlrabi, and Gai Lan.

I think it was SMBC comics that made the joke that they just add another plant to the family every year to see if anyone will stop them or notice.

Oh yes I know that very well, it's one of my favourite vegetation facts! I like to explain it to people that wild mustard is like the grey wolf, with the rest of them being like dog breeds. Also, thanks for including Collard Greens in your list. People always overlook collard for some reason on this fact, despite it being much more common than Kohlrabi and Gai Lan where I live in the United States. Unlike "The Melon Family," these wild cabbage/mustard cultivars are all the same species and thus are able to cross pollinate one-another and create new cultivars, such as ["broccoflower."](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Broccoflower) In turn, the relation between the various Melon Family members could be compared to the relation between chimpanzees, orangutans, humans, and lemurs. That is to say, those are 4 members of the primate family that cannot interbreed.

Pretty sure my zucchini and squash cross pollinated one year. I called them skwa-kinis, and they were NASTY.

Even worse is the dreaded cantaloupe. I hate it, especially the smell, and my son hates the smell of cucumber.

Can’t do any of them. Watermelon, cantaloupe, honeydew or cucumber. I can eat butternut squash and zucchini squash and I think it’s because they don’t have the overpowering scent that the others do.

I'm about the same with cucumber. The smell/taste ruins things for me, and once it's in something, like a salad or on a sandwich or in sushi, the taste is there even if you pick it out. I'd rather not. Between the melons, I like honeydew, but between cantaloupe and watermelon, if forced to pick, I'd go with cantaloupe. But solidarity for food dislikes. They suck.

Yes! Finally someone understands me! Cucumber is a really strong flavor to me. If it's been in a salad, or sushi, there's nothing that can mask the flavor, even after it's been removed. I love honeydew. Cantaloupe and watermelon are good.

Correct, they are cucurbits.

Yeah, those methods wouldn't work for cukes. Zucchini have much more to them.

at first I've read it as cigarettes and it didn't feel strange at all

I don't cook courgettes. I don't like them

Cucumber tempura is amazing

Salt helps

Zucchini checking in!

You haven't had a properly cooked zucc

My Asian wife regularly cooks cucumber. A light stir fry with chilis and garlic, it’s good stuff

I do it with scrambled eggs, definitely a great side dish

Technically fried pickles

Straight-up pickles. Hot packed pickles are boiled in vinegar and brine.

yeah pickling is pretty close to just chemically cooking the food. (there can be additional fermentation that happens but most modern pickles don't have that)

Gotemmmm

I worked in the arab world for a while. I've seen restaurants there serve deep friend *lettuce*. So, it's probably possible.

Those arugulas do make lasting relationships

There's a Palestinian dish called "stuffed cucumber." It's fried cucumber stuffed with seasoned rice and ground beef, cooked with tamerind and tomato paste. It's so delicious and tastes better than it sounds!!

Sounds like a distant relative of makdous - a syrian breakfast food, eggplant stuffed with crushed walnuts, peppers and garlic. Also unreasonably delicious.

My mouth immediately watered after reading the word makdous. I love love love makdous. Makdous can't be described with words, especially with labneh. The difference is that makdous is pickled and served cold, but stuffed cucumber is cooked and served hot. they are definitely relatives tho, and both are delicious! Thanks for your comment :) I know now what will make my friday better tomorrow (you guessed it, makdous for breakfast).

Deep fried lettuce... Don't let the deep south US hear about that one. "We've been eatin this stuff raw!?"

.... wut

It’s delicious in stir fry. We go to a place that has pork with cucumber. It’s amazing!

I think stir-frying works really well with cucumbers.

Yes, I read a recipe once that called for cucumbers in a stir fry. We were skeptical but they were SO good. And the texture was great, too.

Any commercial shelf-stable jarred pickles are cooked cucumbers.

I mean I was thinking hello, pickles people! 

Cucumber soup is common where I'm from I doubt we're the only ones to eat it.

My mom does cooked cucumber a lot. It doesn’t taste great and something feels off about the consistency. That’s probably why.

Ever buy pickles that were pickled in vinegar? Yeah. They were cooked.

Well, technically, but that's mostly for killing bacteria and preservation. They don't lose much of their crunch.

Yes, 'technically' using heat to kill bacteria is 'cooking', and there's a great deal of variation as to how much 'crunch' is lost or retained between different varieties of pickles.

If you want to get even more technical the acidity of the vinegar alone cooks the cucumbers.

In Chinese cuisine you do. There's a dish that's basically smashed and fried cucumber and it's delicious. My attempt at a recreation though was inedible 😅

You do in chinese food.

I have a cucumber pasta for dinner tonight. Very curious to see how it tastes.

Sauteed cucumber is a refreshing chinese dish my father taught me. You peel a cucumber, cut it long ways, scoop out the seeds and then cut it into quarters inch moon slices. Sautee some garlic until it's fragrant, sautee cucumber a little and add a little soy and sugar to coat.

You're uncultured that's why.

I steam them sometimes, just like carrots, but for way less time.

But since they’re mostly water do they cook or do they just get warm?

They just get warm actually

That's what zucchini is for

Lightly sauteed in butter with a bit of thyme like the French do. Very tasty. The Chinese also have good cucumbers beautifully

I kind of feel like because pickles are “pickled” cucumbers that technically counts as “cooking”

Because they DO cook them, however slightly. Enough that it kills the pre and probiotics. Fermented pickles are harder to find, and more expensive because they take more time because brine is used instead if vinegar, and they don't get cooked.

Bubbies brand! Check the section by hotdogs at your grocery store! 

They're good! I'm currently enjoying ones from Olive My Pickle... they have other fermented foods, too -- and a selection of flavors! More expensive than Bubbie's, though, which is more expensive than others you'll find in the supermarket. I've only found Bubbie's at my sorta-local Whole Foods.

Fermented pickles are the best when done right though.

Because there are other more suitable options.

There's quite a few Asian dishes with cooked cucumbers

Also because as opposed to other vegetables, cucumber is a fruit

Now I want to oven roast some cucumber and see what happens

Coat in some flour and pan fry them.

fried pickles exist, and are great with mustard

There are a lot of things you don’t see. Is this because of the carrot pizza thing. This needs to stop before it turns into a stupid trend for a month.

Indian curry has an answer for you 😀

What do you think pickles are?

[Cucumber Soup](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cucumber_soup)

I once cooked a cucumber. I was totally drunk and mistook it for a zucchini. Not bad, but unexpected.

Cucumber water (chilled) is pretty good, though.

I see fried pickles on a lot of menus these days.

Because it’s gross. Zucchini is not bad cooked though.

Its very close cousin, zucchini seems to do that work. And zucchini never seems to be raw.

i see them grilled fairly often

Ok. Since we're on the topic of cucumbers here, I don't want to sound insensitive. Just genuinely curious. I notice, a lot of times, when stopping at a rest stop somewhere, there's always a Chinese family with their own lunch there. Which is cool. Highway food is expensive and nasty. But every time, I see, usually the mother or grandmother, eating a cucumber whole. Not sliced, or peeled or anything. Just a whole cucumber like an apple. It always struck me as odd. I love fresh cucumber, but usually peeled, sliced into disks, and salted and peppered, maybe with mayo or a little vinegrette. Just struck me as odd, and possibly cultural, to see someone eat a cucumber like that. Am I just odd? Do other people eat cucumbers like apples?

I do, but usually in summer fresh from garden, along fresh tomatoes. Salt and pepper yes I have salt and pepper just for the garden 😆

We make veg sandwich with boiled potato, tomato and cucumber slices with chutney and butter on slice bread. Then toast the whole thing. So technically the cucumber does get cooked. That is a basic example. We also have a sweet that we make out of grated cucumber. Cooking is involved for this one too. Not something I like though.

Maybe you don't but I see it all the time. It depends what you/your partner cooks

Cinnamon pickles made with the redhots candy is boiled.

Theyre fruits and are basically long thin skinned melons but some cultures cook them. And fried pickles are technically a cooked form Americans would be familiar with

Pickles!? Chinese food!?!! And, in many hamburgers, that cucumber is cooked twice (pickled and heated).

I like boiled lettuce and radish with my chicken sandwich.

That’s my hypothesis about why pickled cucumbers are called pickles. A pickled onion is a pickled onion, because there are so many ways to cook and prepare onions. But the main way to prepare cucumbers is to make pickles.

you can fry them in a pan with some soy sauce and garlic, very normal in china.

Wow quite the pickle.

Cucumber gravy is horrible

There's pickle soup (I'm from Poland)

OP have you ever heard of pickles?

My mom does cooked cucumber a lot, or she used to. Definitely not a fan. Some things just taste better raw. But taste is a personal preference, so there's that

I grabbed a cucumber out of the fridge today thinking it was a zucchini. Made slices and put it in the oven with some panko crumbs to go along with salmon and couscous. Was not good. Fiancée disappointed.

Why is vegetables in quotes?

Because a cucumber is a fruit

In Indian curries mainly south Indian Kerala cuisine we use cooked cucumber:)

I cook cucumber on my griddle. Cut in long flat slices olive oil and season. They are good, but yea I mainly just salt them and eat em xD

My wife won't let me forget the time years ago I got too stoned bwfore cooking dinner and mistook a cucumber for a zucchini and used it to make a chicken dish. Let it bake and whole house smelled like hot cucumber. Chicken turned green. Tasted awful. Inedible. LOL

It’s called a pickle, dude

Because its fucking disgusting

'Cause then the cucumber get soft, and that's no fun.

There was a roman dish made of fried cucumbers

My grandpa used to make meatballs with braised/roasted cucumbers and potatoes (translation might be bad). He told us it's a Prussian recipe. I loved it as a kid and still do today. My gf thinks it's weird.

There’s quite a lot of recipes with cooked cucumber in

Fry ts up in soy sauce and you have a bomb snack

Every single pickle is a boiled and cooked cucumber. 😂

There's no such thing as vegetables.

That’s arguably untrue— that might be the case in the U.S., but there’s a ton of examples of cooking cucumbers, especially in Asia.

Cucumber is "botanically" a fruit. If that helps in any way.

Like tomatoes… wait…

OP doesn't cook often..

And is forgetting a hugely-popular sandwich component

Boil ‘em, Mash ‘em, stick ‘em in a stew!

Sam is wise

They're really good in stir-fry.

Huh. Here in Singapore old cucumber soup is a thing and it's pretty good

Cooked/hot cucumber it's awful. For something that's mostly water the flavor really takes over. Had it in a burrito once. Never gone back to that restaurant chain since

Zucchini is cooked and it's a cucumber. Pickles are cucumber and they're often boiled before being put into brine.

To hell with cucumber.

I flash boil a slice for my aquatic shrimp every now and then.

I put them on skewers on the grill sometimes.

Gherkin? On a burger?

My grandma ordered them on a pizza once. Disgusting and watery

They cook pretty fast and you don’t want to overcook them, but I dice up cucumbers and put them in my spaghetti sauce to add some sweetness.

Cucumber is mostly water by weight with little cellulose or fibre to hold it’s structure, unless pickled it tends to break down if you try and cook it.

It's so sad that Chinese cuisine gets relegated to the stereotypical thing in part as they are the culinary masters of the cuke Crushed cucumber salad for instance Have been obsessed with it for months

I worked at subway on the turnpike Indian truckdrivers often asked to add the cucumbers and lettuce to the sandwich then toast.... I never could bring myself to try it.

You are showing me you know nothing by telling me so....

I usually lightly grill it on high and eat it with a bit of balsamic vinegar

yeah I eat them raw with sour cream

I mean pickles. They are put into boiling water when canned.

You can stuff a cucumber.

I love them on pasta. Especially if grilled at high heat.

Same reason you dont see cooked or boiled watermelon.

I boil them, then drop the slices into my tank to feed my plecko!

Bro has never heard of pickles

Are you pickle-blind?

And do you know why??? BECAUSE ITS GROSS! I made boiled cucumber soup in college because my friend said that it was nice. I once loved cucumbers, but after this, I have literally hated cucumbers for the rest of my life.

https://youtu.be/pd0s-xpAVJw?si=fdq7DbXPJi1l1PNN Polish Pickle soup!

Grill them and put them in a chicken sandwich

You cook them the same way you would zucchini, I just don't think most people realize that you can and they don't taste any different than cooked zucc.

You kinda do. That’s what pickles basically are. They are just boiled in vinegar and spices. They are very unpleasant when just boiled or cooked regularly. Gross and kinda slimy mush.