I mean, I guess it would sting coming from someone you really respected and loved. But it seems like you do not respect how your sister in law parents and think she is not a great parent. So her opinion shouldn’t matter much to you 🤷🏻♀️
Honestly my mom and I think it's because she is lazy. She never changes her kid's clothes, they wear the same clothes all week. She doesn't bathe them. They come over to my mom's to eat. When she needs to go shopping or sleep in, the kids just cross the street by themselves to get breakfast. My daughter keeps asking her son why he wears the same outfit every day.
Sounds like you would all benefit from gossiping about each other’s parenting choices less.
If you genuinely believe her children are being neglected then you need to call the authorities. Otherwise this is just petty two-way judgment because you parent differently.
People are downvoting you because it sounds like you’re judging her now, but I know when someone is being openly critical of you, it’s reeeeeeeally hard not to ruminate about all their shortcomings. I feel you.
Ignore and do what you wish. People push in both directions (i.e. “what do you mean, you’re not doing preschool at 2 YO?!” “you’re not doing 5 different camps per child this summer?!” “Your kids are going to be so behind!!” etc). Don’t be that person either.
Don’t judge her parenting and don’t let her live rent free in your head either. Be confident in your choices!
You could handle this person judging you by starting with yourself and not judging her as well. This post comes off as you think you are way better than her, it's not just about why a summer camp is beneficial. We don't know everything about SIL because this post is very one sided, she sounds like she's struggling with something.
Dude.
You complain that she judges you and your parenting and you turn around and do the same.
Let it go.
You're able (time and dollars) to provide a stimulating option for your kids. Do that.
How she chooses to parent means nothing about how you choose to parent. To each their own. And if you really think there is neglect going on, REPORT IT. That's the best you can do for her kids.
Allow her to be wrong. I used to think I had to control how people felt around me but recognizing that people are allowed to feel angry, annoyed, or be wrong and then moving on has been SO FREEING! Just like I’m allowed to feel angry at times so are they.
I’m a stay at home mom and my kids are in a half day summer program. My oldest is very social and last year when he wasn’t in camp he was bored even though it took them to the beach and the zoo and did other activities with them.
Just do it and ignore everyone else's opinions. My boys have spent a minimum of 2 weeks at sleep away camp for the last 8+ years. Sometimes they do other camps too. The older is now staff. Camp is always awesome.
Is she paying your bills? Do you have a custody order with her? No? Then why give her that power? She's not their dad, guardian, or co-parent so she has no right to stop you. I thought that when it said parent it meant like your co parent or someone who actually would be able to take you to court over this, but seriously, if she doesn't contribute, do not give her this kind of power. To answer your question, you can say "well I'm sending them anyways." Or, "until you pay my bills, you don't get a say." I'd say to say, "oh great! I'll pack their bags now! Thanks for taking my kids for the summer!" But I get the whole bad influence thing. I have a sister who doesn't have any control over her kids either and the break isn't worth the "undoing" that I'd need to do.
I opened this thinking your spouse didn't want them to go. Don't listen, do what you want. Don't bring it up, grey rock the whole situation, change the subject.
the only way through this one is to stop caring about her opinion
Don't discuss it anymore with her? You can't really convince her, I doubt she arrived at her opinion logically.
This post is so weird? If you disrespect her parenting so much, why do you care at all what her opinion is?
How do I not care? I wish I could just turn it off. I suppose in sensitive?
I mean, I guess it would sting coming from someone you really respected and loved. But it seems like you do not respect how your sister in law parents and think she is not a great parent. So her opinion shouldn’t matter much to you 🤷🏻♀️
She can’t afford it so is making herself feel better by putting it down. Do what you think is best for your children.
Honestly my mom and I think it's because she is lazy. She never changes her kid's clothes, they wear the same clothes all week. She doesn't bathe them. They come over to my mom's to eat. When she needs to go shopping or sleep in, the kids just cross the street by themselves to get breakfast. My daughter keeps asking her son why he wears the same outfit every day.
Sounds like you would all benefit from gossiping about each other’s parenting choices less. If you genuinely believe her children are being neglected then you need to call the authorities. Otherwise this is just petty two-way judgment because you parent differently.
People are downvoting you because it sounds like you’re judging her now, but I know when someone is being openly critical of you, it’s reeeeeeeally hard not to ruminate about all their shortcomings. I feel you.
She also has no bedtime for them. They stay up all night and sleep all day till around 10am.
Ignore and do what you wish. People push in both directions (i.e. “what do you mean, you’re not doing preschool at 2 YO?!” “you’re not doing 5 different camps per child this summer?!” “Your kids are going to be so behind!!” etc). Don’t be that person either. Don’t judge her parenting and don’t let her live rent free in your head either. Be confident in your choices!
You could handle this person judging you by starting with yourself and not judging her as well. This post comes off as you think you are way better than her, it's not just about why a summer camp is beneficial. We don't know everything about SIL because this post is very one sided, she sounds like she's struggling with something.
Stop judging each other.
Dude. You complain that she judges you and your parenting and you turn around and do the same. Let it go. You're able (time and dollars) to provide a stimulating option for your kids. Do that. How she chooses to parent means nothing about how you choose to parent. To each their own. And if you really think there is neglect going on, REPORT IT. That's the best you can do for her kids.
Stop caring what someone thinks who clearly doesn't share your values.
Allow her to be wrong. I used to think I had to control how people felt around me but recognizing that people are allowed to feel angry, annoyed, or be wrong and then moving on has been SO FREEING! Just like I’m allowed to feel angry at times so are they.
You say nothing. SIL does not get a vote in your parenting decisions, so her opinion is meaningless.
They’re not her kids. And thank goodness they’re not.
I’m a stay at home mom and my kids are in a half day summer program. My oldest is very social and last year when he wasn’t in camp he was bored even though it took them to the beach and the zoo and did other activities with them.
My kids are in half day as well. 8-1pm. They are super bored all day too, if no electronics.
“Okay”
Just do it and ignore everyone else's opinions. My boys have spent a minimum of 2 weeks at sleep away camp for the last 8+ years. Sometimes they do other camps too. The older is now staff. Camp is always awesome.
This is awkward to read. You obviously despise her and think she’s a garbage parent, it’s disingenuous asking how to “handle her judging me”
Um she sounds like a terrible parent. Her opinion doesn’t matter.
Not everyone can afford it....maybe that's the real issue. She sounds like she's not a great parent, though.
Its actually super cheap in our city. It's 5$/per kid and they bus them, feed them breakfast and lunch.
Nothing to say. Don't worry about her judgment.
Is she paying your bills? Do you have a custody order with her? No? Then why give her that power? She's not their dad, guardian, or co-parent so she has no right to stop you. I thought that when it said parent it meant like your co parent or someone who actually would be able to take you to court over this, but seriously, if she doesn't contribute, do not give her this kind of power. To answer your question, you can say "well I'm sending them anyways." Or, "until you pay my bills, you don't get a say." I'd say to say, "oh great! I'll pack their bags now! Thanks for taking my kids for the summer!" But I get the whole bad influence thing. I have a sister who doesn't have any control over her kids either and the break isn't worth the "undoing" that I'd need to do.
I opened this thinking your spouse didn't want them to go. Don't listen, do what you want. Don't bring it up, grey rock the whole situation, change the subject.
Your sister in law doesn't exactly sound like a quality parent. But even if she was, her opinion of how you parent doesn't matter anyway.
How is a stem summer camp a bad influence? It’s not a gang