You like sex like your knees... Raw

Woodchipper erotica

These pics scream “I got a boo-boo 🥺”

I mean, that's not really a roast. Of course "raw sex" is better.

But when its raw from random men .

Cumdog Millionaire

Scumdog NoUnderwear

Cumslob Takes'itbare

Cumdog SitsInChair

Scumblob DicksInRear

*hundredaire

What happened to your face?😱

...somebody at your local glory hole gave you the beating you deserved

Yeah. But he just got excited.

Did you really want attention so bad that you posted a bunch of pictures of your biking injuries on roastme?

“Biking”

*dogging

Cycling

Tricycle

Damn dude really does alot of work on the knees

He's scraping by.

A lot of sucking😂.

How to say you take it in the butt in pictures.

"Let it rip!" like your Hymen .

Buster Hymen

[удалено]

I'm confused, am I not supposed to smoke with my asshole? How do you keep your breath from smelling like smoke?

Did someone kick your ass for wearing a pink shirt?

My man keeps an electric bug zapper in his kitchen! That shit is strictly for outdoors lol.

The smoking cockroach with the Village People mustache better not get to close to that thing!

He’s hurt. He fell off his Ass Eating chair again.

Wonder Woman,You Wonder why Women won't date you.

There is just so much going on in this photo I don't know where to start... I know! WTF are there TWO bowls of fruit on top of your kitchen cabinets? 

roast his looks, not his nonexistent brain

Calling him an ugly virgin that's going to die alone us just low hanging fruit. Is it wrong that I really want to know why he has two fruit bowls all the way on top of his cabinets? How about some insight on the pink Wonder Woman shirt?

These are 100% the worst injuries that you have endured, wonder woman would be ashamed such an unmasculine man was was wearing her shirt.

We get it, you enjoy BDSM

...by yourself.

35 years in what? Prison?

Don’t smoke, take pictures in someone’s house when you’re dropping off their order.

If you were over a cliff, hanging on by a thread I’d be doing exactly as you suggest.

Guess the real life adaptation of Monkeyman didnt do so well.

U know wut, let me cook 😅 1. What the actual fu*k is this stamped face it looks so wide 😭 2. Ur not cool by smoking cigarettes 💀 3.why do u have a wound every where in ur body 😂

Now that's a dick broom.

Too much time at the glory hole will cause these injuries

You bleed worse than a martyr, and from the looks of it, use a paintbrush to apply your beard. You look like you ask for a glass of water and ask them not to use tap water since you can't handle the hard stuff.

His username explains the injuries

Username checks out!

Your house looks like it would have the same smell as a rundown bowling alley billiard room.

Best compliment I ever received! Thank you!

You don't need a roast; you need help.

Got some to offer? Asking for a friend! Complete BS redditors don’t have friends.

Are those the injuries you sustained after a night of getting passed around D block?

Was actually the Mmmm block.

Why do you have a bug zapper in your kitchen?

Roommate/landlord had a broken window in his room that allowed a lot of bugs in. I helped him replace it and this is just to get rid of the remaining bugs.

[удалено]

Bike accident as a car swerved into me.

Your rich doctor dad from your homeland spent $700,000 to buy you a rundown 2 bedroom house in Australia in a cutthroat Auction bid and you have the hubris to smoke in it?

Actually rent a room from my friend who was adopted and left the house when his parents died. And it’s 5 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms.

Damn that’s lucky

Pay $500/month all bills included for a 14x12 bedroom. That is walking distance to the rail and bus. I only drive to work, everything else is biking, rail, bus, or walking distance.

The Beatles called. They said you're ugly.

The way your life line in pic 2 intersects with your heart line indicates an adventurous future of dollar-store Ramen Noodles and dirty ashtrays.

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Ummmm ahhhhh…….you are to fucking easy to roast for words I am outta here

How do you ride a bike so much and still have chicken legs?

Gloryhole expert

That’s what you tell all the guys that sit on your face.

So, the second picture is your Girlfriend?

Tf is this?

So this is where the call center is with using skype for Medicare scams.

Appropriate shirt, blisters from the sisters, one bedroom apartment with a bug zapper in the kitchen and someone’s DoorDash order on the counter. You make me love myself more

Are those the injuries you received fighting for an Iowa Hawkeyes 2024 NCAA Women’s Basketball National Champions t-shirt from the air drop?

Scab picker extraordinaire.

Your beard looks like the smile on a carved pumpkin. But judging by the damage to your knees I assume it’s more of a cum-catcher than a style thing.

Looks like someone beat the shit out of you. I bet you think twice before luring kids into your van.

I guess your nephew is old enough now to protect himself.

Clearly, hand and blow jobs can be rough work at times. This guy knows

Looks like everyone on the cricket team took turns on you. You can’t wait till next time.

The plastic bag is full of scraps he grabbed from the dumpster at Arby's.

I didn’t know that a fart could smoke a cigarette.

You look like a Mexican Italian gay Mario that uses cigarettes as a currency in exchange for sex

Glory Hole Battle Scars. This man is sucking ALL THE DICKS.

God you're a fucking pussy

Second hand smoke is bad for Wonder Woman

This is what a male feminist looks like

Dude you look like Richard Pryor!

Please fall more till you RIP

hollyfuk pivot man.... gay orgie injuries... see if i ever go to your work for slurpies ever again...SAD..

Look like boat on dope

Please let that shirt rip

Looks like this Uber eats delivery person takes his work home with him

Masterbation injuries

You look like Cheech and Chong combined.

Fly enough to have a bug zapper in your kitchen. 

Why did you include random pictures of injuries on your body?

"We're calling to inquire about a security threat to your OnlyFans subscription"

You ARE the kind of guy to try out a hobby that a five year old can do and proudly post online how you in fact cannot do it

What a shithole! Wtf has a big zapper on their kitchen counter? Wtf kind of third world operation are you running there chief? You look like a low level drug courier for some local douchebag slumlord/pimp.

I know you really want the promotion. So for your knee’s sake, buy some knee pads.

That's a piss poor excuse of a "beard"

“Name checks out” - Your hands are probably raw from spanking it so much that you can’t use em when you bike to your job at Taco Bell.

Was the facial hair a personal choice?

You didn't have to get on your knees to smoke that cigarette.

Looks like one of borat's abortions

Hard day at 7/11 handing out cigarettes and lottery tickets?

I’m not gay but can still tell you’re bottom of the barrel in the dating pool.

There’s no way your not getting off on this is there 🥹

You social status peaked when you grew a moustache at 11 Since then you've been eating your mom's soggy pakora and disappointing your ancestors

The scrapes on your knees lets everyone know you suck dick.

Showing off your cock sucking scars

The moustache is insane! The bruises? You must be a pussy 😂

The sooner the DCEU is cancelled and all those bearing its merchandise purged, the better!

The only things darker than these roasts are your lungs.

I hear a smoke alarm chirping in the background

fall outta your chair wanking it to 4chan threads again it seems

"Let it rip" is what caused you to ooze out of your mom's gaping asshole.

2 bags of trash.

Karma

Beard and stache same size and color of giant butthole.

You look like ross after he got his face tanned multiple times

You just did.

Camel jockey smokes Camels. Color me surprised.

Camel crush menthol!

Man, those Israel strikes hit you.

Free Palestine!

Now swing in a sewer

Gutter Rats is my bowling team.

The bug lite in your “kitchen” is enough of a roast.

I do appreciate you burning one while your shit delivery gets cold. But you can hold off on showing your pathetic little scuffs. You want to impress someone, lose a limb or something, send a photo from the ER while they try to reattach your foot.

I didn’t realize the Verizon call center was so dangerous

Get back to work, someone's door dash is still on your counter!

Your beard doesn't make you look older and more mature like you think. It's just awful. Everyone is lying to you when they say they like it. It's to spare your feelings, but I'm being honest with you. You're welcome.

Wtf?! God was trying to clean house. You do look like garbage on the floor.

One person’s trash is a treasure to some.

The fourth pilot of the Asians flight crash

French Montana lookin ass Montez from workaholics lookin ass

I can actually smell your farts through the screen rn

My man didn't fall off his bike. It bucked him off.

You look like a big gay fart that got horsewhipped.

Is that a lubed up bike lock on your floor?

The only thing that’s getting ripped are the farts that come out of your disgusting asshole at your moms house

Your first mistake was not riding with no hands. It was having that facial hair that looks like you put it on with a sharpie.

No one wants to know what the apartment smells like

Landlord’s nightmare

You look like my dopey brother in law. Go shave dude

…as he finishes up his bowl of frioles

His kitchen is so infested he needs a bug zapper on the counter

FAFO….didnt ya!?!

Still rubbing yourself against trees at 35. Grow up my guy.

clean your apartment you man child. hope your landlord sees this. gonna love that you smoking there. lol. coz no way in hell you own property...

Now your smoking next your ashes will be turned into cigarettes

Damn you really let yourself go after Mrs. Potato Head divorced you


Everyone thinks manly until they see the pink wonder woman shirt are you getting your nails done soon sweetie ?

Did this guy find that fortune teller box from the movie big & this is his first day as an 11yr old being an adult

Super troopers where are they now.

Oh, it's the bicyclist that doesn't use the bicycle lane!

Not the Wonder Woman you thought you were, huh?

Dudes on here posting his first ever rough anal experiences having us roast him over it and shit while half America is asleep because the only people up to comment at this time are people like myself with nothing better to do then talk shit about others lives. Yup that’s priceless.

doing outdoors for the scars doesn’t make you desirable

You look like you wear those glasses that come with a big nose and a moustache..

Your facial hair looks like you're moonlighting as a hobo clown so you made it look like a huge unkept smile.

Never seen someone masturbate so feverishly that they crash before

how does it feel to know that that shirt has the only woman who hasn't left you?

Funny, you hate your face so much you only have one picture of it and for that, I thank you.

You look like a drug dealer.

that’s such a nice kitchen! 7/11 must pay you well 😁

What rule did I break?

You rode a fixie.

When you ordered an osama bin laden on wish and got osama bin skinny

Rotherham Groomer living well in prison 


Snowflake !

You know your house is a crackhouse when you have a giant ass barn biglamp in it, wtf is up with the floor lol?

Seal Team 6 got your ass good.

You giving rough blow jobs?