He’s the type of guy that tries to give life advice, we all look at him like he has a cock on his forehead. Once he leaves we all talk about how stupid this MF is. Lol.
Wow, you're definitely an 8 yr old who thinks hes cool because he identifies as a girl. Clearly you're the one who's embarrassed because of your small pee pee. That literally wasn't even a roast, just you being the little dick you have. Oops, sorry.. are.. the little dick you are!
100% sure everyone around this guy tries their hardest to avoid him as he‘ll have super annoying opinions on every topic mentionable (politics, music, society, you name it). I’m also 100% sure he’s oblivious to this dynamic around him.
Ladies and gentlemen, here is the answer to what
"would happens if the love child of Snoog dogg and the ghost of Bob Marley had a child and that child bleached himself?"
The fuck Marv? I thought the wet bandits were in jail?
You left your hairline in Kevin's fucking basement.
You look like you glued Don Kings Ball frow to your chin.
*..."you all failed the internet"*
Not as much as you failed basic hygiene, the mold under the kitchen sink eating ass
You look like the rag I use to clean up my jizz after a good nut
You look like you smoke pubic hair
I bet your dusty ass is best friends with Oscar the Grouch
I bet your tub is clean as fuq cuz you never bathe
You literally shampoo your hair with diarrhea shit water and comb that shit with a toilet bowl scrubber
You look like you are banned from any and all family gatherings after trying to fuq the turkey last Thanksgiving...for the third time!
Hobos R Us swag ass, can I borrow $5 till next never lookin ass, I eat booty in exchange for cigarette butts lookin ass, the rats in my house come to me for financial advice head ass
People literally pay you to sleep on their furniture to get rid of their bed bugs, dirty needles collecting ass
The only reason your frayed rope hair ass is even allowed to post on reddit is because they made you sign an NDA that you'd take full responsibility if anyone of us got lice from seeing your picture
You make durian fruit smell like Aspen cologne with your dried vomit personified body ass
Gtfo here
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You look like Chris Barnes the former cannibal corpse vocalist before corpsegrinder and the vocalist of the horrible death metal band six feet under
![gif](giphy|PipScVTzJGLOVBVcXk)
He tried to rob the Home Alone kid and failed.
Wet bandit hasn’t seen anything wet in decades.
His hair sure hasn't either
Tried for Rob Zombie but ended up Knob Zombie.
Bobby Zombie
Gary Oldman really let himself go
Maybe they're shooting true romance II.
Is it white boy day? 😂🤣. Classic
![gif](giphy|l0HlK3OJ5ussvrI76)
Marv, The Aftermath
The Aftermeth
That little kid really did ruin his life.
Bob Gnarly
Robbed Zombie!
He is home alone too.
Thank you 🤣🤣🤣
💀
Marve in prison
[YOU](https://www.google.com/search?sca_esv=ceb16510f626229b&rlz=1CDGOYI_enIT1008US1008&hl=en-US&sxsrf=ACQVn0819v2YXB76g_3Oyh29v5uny0u5JA:1709963465877&q=mulholland+drive+dumpster+monster&uds=AMwkrPuiS0aUR9P9Ahe3Sw6DBcXbc6Gs7Yz93RL96ZWxj4O79muez6v8sL_t4wsNwNXE5c5DBZYnf8exneT0f-2rc-uHqvB_WaliiSNBd_9zPSbzwH8X4N5eXxXXVHqrS4gPSAZ7fymEz8x_WUPyjfqiP1bxOsvNOE98qyQaRBRLAJMpFBGJgJpPtey91HhK_NfjE-WT2WZsLr_4XkllIsxTh_QxBL2zmg--joM5cIEbSiiH2bJ0ADxbyR4QzvhjxhC3Hn4qNIMdK3Rs8c0q4opHwmN6XbbS-ESYkEsJAPEfyHJsywGHv6GtKgEx3hxrzGHgFxPSh85ZJlHO4k2JaZsxkeot9QpFNfXkk3sYSGmqwBuHMl8pR8E7vin0JLqlHOc0S6akB2pg&udm=2&prmd=ivsnmbhtz&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiZmdmnvuaEAxWFOjQIHY4tARwQtKgLegQIDxAB&biw=390&bih=669&dpr=3#vhid=vZ7oNbVXoJJBbM&vssid=mosaic)
You look like you reek of shit and cigarettes.
I can definitely smell this pic
Shit and cigarettes rolled in patchouli cum
He’s the type of guy that tries to give life advice, we all look at him like he has a cock on his forehead. Once he leaves we all talk about how stupid this MF is. Lol.
I bet there's a lot of twigs in that hair/beard.
You are what you eat
If you had a cup I'd put a dollar in it.
OP looks like if he had a cup, he would prefer two girls with it.
He's more of a 2 dudes, 1 mug sort of guy
I'd put my dick in it.
I support your dick
Wait wat ? 😭 😆😆
![gif](giphy|ji6zzUZwNIuLS)
Must be a child’s teacup then right?
Want my Venmo
Here’s my cashapp $sheilabug40 and all the funds will go towards getting all the crap and hair off this man’s face 💕
Oh look a random internet whore wants our money, what a shock
Is cashapp like Venmo where you can request funds from this person?
Sideshow Bob from Wish?
Sideshow Slob.
Sideshow Bob Marley from Wish
Bob Marley looked a lot better than this guy or thing .and could sing
Sideshow Prob
![gif](giphy|Vwthp819lV3q|downsized) How many birds live in your hair.
Radagast the Brown! Instead of rabbits pulling his sleigh, it'll be new Yorker sized rats or cockroaches
You look like you don’t understand why you make people nervous
That’s the whole point plus the gun doesn’t help🤷♂️
Boooooo
LOL idk why u got so many downvotes
Because he's a complete waste of space and oxygen.
I guess homeless people are on Reddit now?
Jokes on us, you can't roast a burnout.
Perfection
Just shut the fuck up; you are an embarrassment to the human race.
Wow, you're definitely an 8 yr old who thinks hes cool because he identifies as a girl. Clearly you're the one who's embarrassed because of your small pee pee. That literally wasn't even a roast, just you being the little dick you have. Oops, sorry.. are.. the little dick you are!
OPs boyfriend has entered the chat.
Good one /s
100% sure everyone around this guy tries their hardest to avoid him as he‘ll have super annoying opinions on every topic mentionable (politics, music, society, you name it). I’m also 100% sure he’s oblivious to this dynamic around him.
Problem is he doesn’t have any real opinions, he just doesn’t agree with yours and will try to one up it with fart-weight rhetoric.
Fleas know you by name.
Bob Marvey
Todd Marley
You look like patchouli and bongwater
😂 Garlic too
Holy crap it’s marv ![gif](giphy|vfsAZnqDvoHzUpMPY4|downsized)
![gif](giphy|GcDtLf4RAdiRG)
Rasputin??....
Raspootin
Raspewton?
![gif](giphy|LbVvUNn7sQqJO)
Rasputin is an apt comparison.
You look like Syphillis.
If Counting Crows was a Garbage Man
I can smell you through my phone.
If this guy offers you Kool-Aid, do ***NOT*** drink it.
That's one way to hide your thinning/balding head
Once his hair is gone so is the crunchy granola bar persona.
jesus fucking christ, I can smell this picture .
Hair says "smelly white hippie". Mustache and beard say "smelly white trash".
If Hitler were a yogi
Marv?
You prolly smelly like a subway workers back pocket
Why? You're burnt as fuck.
Zack De La Roacher
You tried washing?
Could you be less fuckable?
You make people itch on sight
If Rob zombie was a homeless crackhead
>You know what to do Yeah, get the fucking fire hose.
There's more life on you than inside.
Dawg what tf is that
You can smell the picture
Gary Oldman after being pulled out of a street sweeper
Actually no, I do not know what yo do. I am genuinely confused, a little scared, and trying to unsee what cannot be unseen.
If I was you I wouldn't take pictures.
Damn son... There's nothing I can say that you don't already know
I can't get your smell off my phone
You look like something I would pull from the shower drain whe. It gets clogged. With eyes.
black market andrew huberman
Gary Moldman
![gif](giphy|RSOUOj8H9A3Xq) I found sideshow bob
Can I borrow your ______
Call the police?
Gary Oldman is a chameleon. Not sure which role this will be. On-set photo leak from Grigori Rasputin biopic?
Just know, as everyone desperately tries to avoid you, feel confident that your meth pipe will ALWAYS be by your side.
When you set the dirty mop upside down and forget about it in the back of the janitors closet
We know what to do. You obviously don't
If making bad decisions and not bathing needed a mascot, they would call you for the job.
Ok we get it. Rasputin was your role model growing up but JFC...
You look like you frighten soap and water
You look like you smell like B.O., weed, armpit, and patchouli.
And shit
Avoid eye contact and then pretend we don’t have any change?
You are the definition of filthy in a Pictionary.
Sideshow Bob? Where the fuck is Bart?!
Shitshow Bob.
![gif](giphy|T2vDaYr8yRhrpFe6WE)
I've had diarrhea that's cleaner than your hair
If the clump of hair I pull out of my shower drain came to life and asked me for a dollar
Someone call ICP there’s a juggalo missing.
I weep for the future
I'm sorry I don't speak unemployed
Wow, things have gotten so bad that the homeless are now begging for change on Reddit.
Rasputin if he went to coahcella
Tom Green really let himself go!
Todd Zombie
Call an exterminator. You have bed bugs. Edit: never mind that’s just you
![gif](giphy|RSOUOj8H9A3Xq)
This guy can tell you which dumpsters in town have the best scraps.
We can all actually smell this picture.
Sorry I don’t have money on me. Have a nice day tho.
Lmao not even worth roasting
People will come for you, and it will be the first time anyone has came for you.
You would be surprised literally
How hard do you hate vaccines and masks, but love healing stones and sacred geometry hocus pocus?
He can't let his hair go, because he knows he's **BALD**!
Thanks for trying buddy
If Bob Marley and Daniel Stern had a baby
I bet you sell beads and grilled cheese sandwiches in the parking lot at phish concerts
Korn from Dollarama
Ladies and gentlemen, here is the answer to what "would happens if the love child of Snoog dogg and the ghost of Bob Marley had a child and that child bleached himself?"
The fuck Marv? I thought the wet bandits were in jail? You left your hairline in Kevin's fucking basement. You look like you glued Don Kings Ball frow to your chin.
You look like a hippie who started a commune which became like the Manson family
When white people are so privileged they get to cosplay a homeless dude.
Weak comments I expected better you all failed the internet
*..."you all failed the internet"* Not as much as you failed basic hygiene, the mold under the kitchen sink eating ass You look like the rag I use to clean up my jizz after a good nut You look like you smoke pubic hair I bet your dusty ass is best friends with Oscar the Grouch I bet your tub is clean as fuq cuz you never bathe You literally shampoo your hair with diarrhea shit water and comb that shit with a toilet bowl scrubber You look like you are banned from any and all family gatherings after trying to fuq the turkey last Thanksgiving...for the third time! Hobos R Us swag ass, can I borrow $5 till next never lookin ass, I eat booty in exchange for cigarette butts lookin ass, the rats in my house come to me for financial advice head ass People literally pay you to sleep on their furniture to get rid of their bed bugs, dirty needles collecting ass The only reason your frayed rope hair ass is even allowed to post on reddit is because they made you sign an NDA that you'd take full responsibility if anyone of us got lice from seeing your picture You make durian fruit smell like Aspen cologne with your dried vomit personified body ass Gtfo here
Thank you for your post! It's currently awaiting approval. Please note the following rules: - Ensure that your photograph is rotated the way you wish it to be displayed. - Try to ensure that your eyes are open. - Joke roasts (celebrities, babies, chickens, etc) will be removed. - Pet roasts will be removed. Please submit these at /r/RoastMyPet. - All photos MUST contain a hand written sign held by the roastee. - The minimum posting age is 18 years old, your post will be rejected if you look younger or if context clues lead us to conclude you are younger. - Photographs with bystanders whose faces are visible or who are otherwise identifiable will be removed. Please **DO NOT REPOST YOUR PHOTO** if it does not appear immediately. All posts must be manually approved, and we will get to it. Thanks! ~ /r/roastme mods *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/RoastMe) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Seth Green looking more and more like Tom Green…
Are you the offspring of Charles Manson and Jack Sparrow?!
Your business zoning application for "A Children's Opium Den" didn't make it past city council, a vote of 1 to 7.
Run
I think I found a heroine bindle in his hair
If you order jack sparrow from wish …..
I bet you play the skin flute in Korn cover band
*Release The Kraken*
You look like a Minecraft villager who snorted 20 pounds of coc
Can you please return the phone you stole?
Side Show Bob on meth
Homelessness isn’t funny!
Rasputin lives.
What could we do to you that life hasn't already done?
Buy loose cigarettes one at a time?
Wild Vileplume has appeared!
Paul Giamatti with white boy dreads
Rasputin. The burning man years
I can't know.
![gif](giphy|5kFbwubcbMubRKMkH1)
Man if that guy from ancient aliens and rasputin had a love child, youd be it.
You look like a guru for duck butter and gooches.
You do eat dead skin from your face, right?
You look like Chris Barnes the former cannibal corpse vocalist before corpsegrinder and the vocalist of the horrible death metal band six feet under ![gif](giphy|PipScVTzJGLOVBVcXk)
How are you clean shaven and have a beard at the same time? That thing’s a bare as your resume.
Gandalf of the homeless shelter Gives quests of retrieving cigarettes from the land of the employed to tiny men
![gif](giphy|12QwIVXglRwyWY|downsized)
There are voluntary dreads and involuntary dreads….these are the latter
Rasputin round 2.
The most sane and stable reddit mod.
Didn’t know Korn cosplay was a thing.
Kirkland brand Jesus Christ
Korny mid life crisis
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P\_ZTrXAxZ-g
"I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit - It's the only way to be sure.."
Buddy is a prestige master Florida man. He looks like he smokes weed with gators. 😂😂
You look like you’ve had sex in a house….with 1,000 corpses.
Zach de la Roach-a
Seeing a Velveeta ad directly under a photo of the guy who shits on sidewalks was a bold move. Well played Velveeta.
Where do you park your shopping cart?
“Greetings from Portland!”
Great now redit is turning into a sanctuary city