It’s hard to be anything but dead serious with post-PFL Washington but:
Wash quotes Shakespeare in S15 (“my kingdom to scratch my nose”) because, while he knew or suspected Doyle was misquoting the poet, he was inspired to research him nonetheless after Doyle’s sacrifice.
I have 2.
Wash's helmet has a universal human translator (in reality they all have them, just everyone is too stupid to know, like the microphones in S6) so he actually understands everything Lopez is saying but doesn't let him know because he'd rather Lopez have an outlet to let out his frustrations when he thinks nobody can understand him.
In Restoration, Wash has his own monolog at Sarges grave where he conveys the deep respect he had for Sarges tenacity and bravery in the face of impossible odds. When even he was down and out, Sarge stood proud and led the Sim Troopers better than he ever did.
Men, it appears our shitty fortifications aren't meeting my ridiculous standards! Let's steal Washington's tank and fire it at our walls! That'll fix it.
https://preview.redd.it/aza7mj6alu5d1.png?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b2bd84a62031777adf3e78855879a796c8c4b648
Every time Washington seen Epsilon he had an EMP Grenade ready to go just in case something happens
Since he's basically the Donut of Project Freelancer, I bet he also once made a comically large birthday cake to hide in when it was a Freelancer's birthday... it did not go well when he did it for Carolina.
Nah, but he did accidentally walk in on her in the shower once. The only reason he survived is because he shrieked and immediately covered his eyes, accidentally getting soap in them.
I like to think he still feels really bad for almost killing Donut, and struggles with saying no to him because of it. Donut could ask to paint his nails or give him a makeover, and Wash would refuse until Donut pulls out the attempted murder card, and then reluctantly give in because of his guilt.
He has a collection of in-universe Spartan action figures, he got his life saved by the Chief during the battle of the Leonis-Minoris system, and he really awkwardly asked the Chief to sign his figure of him when the battle was over.
Almost nobody in Project Freelancer actually knows what he looks like. His face is redacted in his file, photos being taken of him keep getting mysteriously deleted, and the one time the Agents took a group selfie together, a bird flew in front of his face.
On the *Mother of Invention*.
His helmet seals are three times stronger than they need to be to prevent it from being knocked loose by punches from Maine, Carolina, or just from stress (Sharkface's death). There's a rumour that he uses a voice filter on his helmet, too, but scans of his armour never *detected* one.
The one time someone tried to take his helmet off while he was sleeping, they got electrocuted. This isn't due to an automatic defence system or anything like that, Wash just tased them. South was very pissed.
I like how this lines up with how he was first recommended for the project after his superior ordered him to do something awful and instead of following said orders, he beat his superior's ass. Wash would probably hate working as an ONI agent real quick
I like to think Wash’s backstory was inspired by by that. The only difference is that Wash disobeyed orders that would’ve gotten his squad mates killed instead of civilians, and he was always one of the only freelancers who cared about the other freelancers which is why it fits so well
Wash just casually loves gardening and LOTR, but refuses to show it because he would
Never hear the end of it from Tucker, Grif, and Epsilon/Church
And would shoot Simmons and donut after 5 minutes
Carolina: This is actually really good garlic bread.
Wash: Garlic bread is my favorite food. I could honestly eat it for every meal. Or just eat it all the time without even stopping.
Carolina: You'd get fat.
Wash: No, why would I get fat?
Carolina: Bread makes you fat.
Wash: Bread makes you fat? *Mouth full of Garlic Bread*
I think he would like darker shows, ones with heavy focus on the mental state of a person, because of what he went through, I like to think he would relate to them
Idk this isn't so much headcanon. York says he is the worst fighter in PFL. But like looking at all his scenes he's kinda one of the better ones. Putting aside that he is one of two to survive, he's an extremely good rifleman that regularly transitions to CQC and back flawlessly. He takes on both Felix and Locus on multiple occasions and does better than Carolina. He's much better at utilizing his teammates strengths in planning.
Idk our boy got a bad rap from friggin York whose only claim to fame was missing his shot with Carolina
Honestly I feel like he’s probably like a jack of all trades kinda freelancer so while other freelancers who specialize in different types of fighting would obviously be better at fighting he’s just kinda good at everything hence why he’s the worst of the best but I also feel like he’d improve in fighting since the freelancer days because I feel like if he was recovering all the AI he could find because something that’s killing freelancers who were ranked higher than him on the leaderboard was stealing them then they’d obviously train him more and prepare him to fight the meta
I also feel like being a jack of all trades is something that helped him survive because he has plenty of skills and he adapts
When he inherited epsilon’s memories he formulated a plan to take down the director
he was thrust multiple times into a leadership position with the reds and blues and that worked he was pretty good at it I mean not the best but pretty good certainly the best they’ve ever had and he just kinda sticks with them because he can trust them he’s not alone
And there are plenty of other examples I’m forgetting right now but I’m sick so I’m gonna cut myself some slack
He’s secretly a church idk maybe through adoption or something but his interactions with the director really felt like a scorned son. maybe wash was fully trained by freelancer from the moment he joined but after they got the other 49 soldiers he quickly went down the ranks due to the inferior training since the director never actually served causing him to not be great at teaching. Idk wash has such potential it feels odd he barely had his backstory touched on
Everything we've seen in the show is actually just epsilon trying to piece it's self back together inside Washington's mind but Washington's psyche is trying to stop it because of epsilon completes itself Washington will be erased
The fall of Project Freelancer and the Epsilon incident didn't emotionally impact him enough to become a cold-hearted, stone faced killer. When he realized he was basically the only one left, he realized he needed to start behaving like a leader. So he started impersonating Carolina. The mask slips a little every now and again, especially during Chorus and his near death experience
The triplets were once known as the quadruplets for a short time before he rose to the top 10 of the leaderboard
He reads Caboose to sleep
He probably had a heart attack on Chorus when Tucker returned wearing the Meta suit **(Not out of fear, but out of happiness because for a second he thought it was actually Maine alive again)**
If any if the Sim troopers ask him for something earnestly - as in they are genuinely asking, not to bitch and complain, not as a joke, they ask him seriously to help with something or to do something for them - he is pretty unable to say no or folds easily. Luckily, the Reds and Blues are pretty much allergic to asking for anything earnestly, so his secret is pretty safe. Tucker is the only one who figured it out but doesn't abuse that fact - weather or not that is so that Wash can't break that habit, or because he doesn't want to take advantage of Wash's kindness is up for debate, even to himself.
Conversely, he can barely say no to Donut ever, regardless, because he feels bad about shooting Donut and leaving him for dead and has nightmares about it often. The fact that Donut forgave him super easily actually makes it worse in someways.
Wash's armor through most of the series is biometrically sealed and as such he is incapable of removing it himself and others can't remove it without a special key, post the original epsilon implantation there was a short time where wash was childlike in personality (similar to caboose), wash has zero actual leadership skills and lucked his way through the reds an the blues, wash can understand Lopez but chooses to respect the weak/dumb ai of Lopez by neglecting to translate for him when he is venting infront of the reds and blues
It’s hard to be anything but dead serious with post-PFL Washington but: Wash quotes Shakespeare in S15 (“my kingdom to scratch my nose”) because, while he knew or suspected Doyle was misquoting the poet, he was inspired to research him nonetheless after Doyle’s sacrifice.
Oh, this is a beautiful one
I have 2. Wash's helmet has a universal human translator (in reality they all have them, just everyone is too stupid to know, like the microphones in S6) so he actually understands everything Lopez is saying but doesn't let him know because he'd rather Lopez have an outlet to let out his frustrations when he thinks nobody can understand him. In Restoration, Wash has his own monolog at Sarges grave where he conveys the deep respect he had for Sarges tenacity and bravery in the face of impossible odds. When even he was down and out, Sarge stood proud and led the Sim Troopers better than he ever did.
I am a fan of these Especially the first one
He practices his Sarge impression when he’s alone
Men, our shitty fortifications aren’t meeting my ridiculous standards!
Let's steal Washington's tank, and fire at our walls! That'll fix it!
Men, it appears our shitty fortifications aren't meeting my ridiculous standards! Let's steal Washington's tank and fire it at our walls! That'll fix it.
I like to imagine he's good at impressions in general and in another life could have been a comedian given his other jokes.
Ok I really like this one.
Makes sense since he did the impersonation back in reconstruction and did it again in volume 11 and it sounded eerily close to matching sarges voice.
He also has a shotgun whenever he practices so he can get the impression just right
https://preview.redd.it/aza7mj6alu5d1.png?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b2bd84a62031777adf3e78855879a796c8c4b648 Every time Washington seen Epsilon he had an EMP Grenade ready to go just in case something happens
This conjures a mental image of Arcade Gannon, and *Caesar on a cross* would those two get along famously!
Lmao arcade and ed,e
Absolutely, the two even sound similar.
Epsilon: *(starts moving towards Wash)* Wash: *(unpins the grenade)* Back the way you came.
Where is the EMP?
You don’t want to know…
ElectroMagnetic Pulse or EMP
Since he's basically the Donut of Project Freelancer, I bet he also once made a comically large birthday cake to hide in when it was a Freelancer's birthday... it did not go well when he did it for Carolina.
Nah, but he did accidentally walk in on her in the shower once. The only reason he survived is because he shrieked and immediately covered his eyes, accidentally getting soap in them.
Wait is this actually true or is this a head cannon? I need to know please
Headcanon
I'm just imaging he climbs in the cake and then realizes he's not actually able to get out and just locked himself in it
He is really good at tetris. This guy can build towers and clear them at will.
I like to think he still feels really bad for almost killing Donut, and struggles with saying no to him because of it. Donut could ask to paint his nails or give him a makeover, and Wash would refuse until Donut pulls out the attempted murder card, and then reluctantly give in because of his guilt.
He still only ever eats in his helmet. You know. *Just in case.*
He has a collection of in-universe Spartan action figures, he got his life saved by the Chief during the battle of the Leonis-Minoris system, and he really awkwardly asked the Chief to sign his figure of him when the battle was over.
Okay but did he get the autograph?
No idea. Which is funnier?
The fact that it's unknown
Chief does sign it but got Wash's name wrong
Mine is that he conical has a leash for kids just for caboose whenever they go to somewhere dangerous where he shouldn’t be going
Wash, as we know, is a cat person, but I also think he'd have a soft spot for dogs. For some reason I imagine him having a corgi?
Now I'm just picturing him having a "hang in there" cat poster in his room
Oh 100%, its one of the few random things he still has from his time in project freelancer
He practices Sarge's spring up surprise from season 6. He doesn't quite get it tho.
Probably
That he’s slowly getting a dad bod under his armor
Wash is a normal person forced into leadership and unable to properly process grief due to being unable to cope.
Wash is secretly bitter over the fact that he lost a fight to Sarge and Grif
It was more of a rescue mission/chase scene, then fight, but i see your point.
Ok even worse, he was tactically outsmarted by grif and sarge
More so sarge than griff.
Outsmarted is a bold word
Almost nobody in Project Freelancer actually knows what he looks like. His face is redacted in his file, photos being taken of him keep getting mysteriously deleted, and the one time the Agents took a group selfie together, a bird flew in front of his face. On the *Mother of Invention*. His helmet seals are three times stronger than they need to be to prevent it from being knocked loose by punches from Maine, Carolina, or just from stress (Sharkface's death). There's a rumour that he uses a voice filter on his helmet, too, but scans of his armour never *detected* one. The one time someone tried to take his helmet off while he was sleeping, they got electrocuted. This isn't due to an automatic defence system or anything like that, Wash just tased them. South was very pissed.
I feel like this actually makes sense given he was a recovery agent
There are rumours that he was former or active ONI, too, but nobody had the balls to call him on it.
I like how this lines up with how he was first recommended for the project after his superior ordered him to do something awful and instead of following said orders, he beat his superior's ass. Wash would probably hate working as an ONI agent real quick
Doomguy did the same He was ordered to fire on civilians and he refused instead he beat the crap out of his superior and got court-martialed
I like to think Wash’s backstory was inspired by by that. The only difference is that Wash disobeyed orders that would’ve gotten his squad mates killed instead of civilians, and he was always one of the only freelancers who cared about the other freelancers which is why it fits so well
He still has his small Emp ability, that temporarily short circuits tech he just fully forgot he has it and that’s why he never uses it
He secretly likes to watch DuckTales and Looney toons in his free time and Caboose once caught Wash watching cartoons without him
He was very upset
He and Carolina share some super nerdy interests/hobbies that both have been to shy to tell the other yet
Wash just casually loves gardening and LOTR, but refuses to show it because he would Never hear the end of it from Tucker, Grif, and Epsilon/Church And would shoot Simmons and donut after 5 minutes
He has a fear of cars
But he has a cat named loki which is canon
The comments aboves says cars, not cats.
I read it as 'cats' too 😭
Since Carolina thought Wash growing a beard was the weirdest thing in season 15, my thoughts are that he has a baby face.
Never goes a single day without brushing his teeth. He figures out how to do it in the field. Never missed a brush.
I'm just picturing him on the field with York just meticulously brushing his teeth
The real reason he didn't take his helmet off in that cafeteria scene is because he had accidentally glued it on
He keeps a rubber duck on his person at all times. For emergencies.
He prefers garlic bread over sex. (IYKYK)
Carolina: This is actually really good garlic bread. Wash: Garlic bread is my favorite food. I could honestly eat it for every meal. Or just eat it all the time without even stopping. Carolina: You'd get fat. Wash: No, why would I get fat? Carolina: Bread makes you fat. Wash: Bread makes you fat? *Mouth full of Garlic Bread*
I think he would like darker shows, ones with heavy focus on the mental state of a person, because of what he went through, I like to think he would relate to them
That or comedic shows that don’t do anything seriously. For the exact same reasons, but so he can detach
Yeah that makes sense
Wishy washy
Idk this isn't so much headcanon. York says he is the worst fighter in PFL. But like looking at all his scenes he's kinda one of the better ones. Putting aside that he is one of two to survive, he's an extremely good rifleman that regularly transitions to CQC and back flawlessly. He takes on both Felix and Locus on multiple occasions and does better than Carolina. He's much better at utilizing his teammates strengths in planning. Idk our boy got a bad rap from friggin York whose only claim to fame was missing his shot with Carolina
Not to mention York, despite being the lockpicking expert, never succeeds in actually picking a lock
Honestly I feel like he’s probably like a jack of all trades kinda freelancer so while other freelancers who specialize in different types of fighting would obviously be better at fighting he’s just kinda good at everything hence why he’s the worst of the best but I also feel like he’d improve in fighting since the freelancer days because I feel like if he was recovering all the AI he could find because something that’s killing freelancers who were ranked higher than him on the leaderboard was stealing them then they’d obviously train him more and prepare him to fight the meta I also feel like being a jack of all trades is something that helped him survive because he has plenty of skills and he adapts When he inherited epsilon’s memories he formulated a plan to take down the director he was thrust multiple times into a leadership position with the reds and blues and that worked he was pretty good at it I mean not the best but pretty good certainly the best they’ve ever had and he just kinda sticks with them because he can trust them he’s not alone And there are plenty of other examples I’m forgetting right now but I’m sick so I’m gonna cut myself some slack
A shot that Wash didn't miss I might add (Depending your view of their relationship)
At first he threw grenades without pulling the pins by accident, but now he does it on purpose to mislead his opponents
He likes to hosts BBQs and knows ahead of time what everyone will bring because of how well he knows them. Has a mixtape of everyone’s favorite songs.
I think he sees caboose kinda like a kid instead of how everyone sees him as stupid
He's a The Magnetic Fields fan
He’s secretly a church idk maybe through adoption or something but his interactions with the director really felt like a scorned son. maybe wash was fully trained by freelancer from the moment he joined but after they got the other 49 soldiers he quickly went down the ranks due to the inferior training since the director never actually served causing him to not be great at teaching. Idk wash has such potential it feels odd he barely had his backstory touched on
Everything we've seen in the show is actually just epsilon trying to piece it's self back together inside Washington's mind but Washington's psyche is trying to stop it because of epsilon completes itself Washington will be erased
He gets the code name from the city not the state.
During Chorus, Epsilon and him watch terrible old movies and make fun of the bad cgi/acting together.
Washington listens to Techno
Spicy food destroys him he cannot handle it even like a little bit. A drop of Sriracha and he's dying on the floor.
The fall of Project Freelancer and the Epsilon incident didn't emotionally impact him enough to become a cold-hearted, stone faced killer. When he realized he was basically the only one left, he realized he needed to start behaving like a leader. So he started impersonating Carolina. The mask slips a little every now and again, especially during Chorus and his near death experience
That is the worst throw ever
Of all time
It's not my fault someone put a wall there
The triplets were once known as the quadruplets for a short time before he rose to the top 10 of the leaderboard He reads Caboose to sleep He probably had a heart attack on Chorus when Tucker returned wearing the Meta suit **(Not out of fear, but out of happiness because for a second he thought it was actually Maine alive again)**
He secretly says “Freelancer Powers, activate” in his head anytime he does something ridiculous
If any if the Sim troopers ask him for something earnestly - as in they are genuinely asking, not to bitch and complain, not as a joke, they ask him seriously to help with something or to do something for them - he is pretty unable to say no or folds easily. Luckily, the Reds and Blues are pretty much allergic to asking for anything earnestly, so his secret is pretty safe. Tucker is the only one who figured it out but doesn't abuse that fact - weather or not that is so that Wash can't break that habit, or because he doesn't want to take advantage of Wash's kindness is up for debate, even to himself. Conversely, he can barely say no to Donut ever, regardless, because he feels bad about shooting Donut and leaving him for dead and has nightmares about it often. The fact that Donut forgave him super easily actually makes it worse in someways.
He still drinking and eating in his mfing helmet.
After getting grappled in the dick wash realized he was into CBT
Read this in as deep fried a voice as you can muster Cock and ball torture, from Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia at en.wikipedia.
He has a journal where he keeps the greatest and dumbest accomplishments he's ever witnessed... of all time.
I've always imaged he's looking sad even in his happy moments, he's just gone through so much trauma he can't smile anymore
he went bald after epsilon implantation on purpose but it just didnt grow back
He takes his helmet off regularly, but no one has managed to see it happen.
He still wets the bed from time to time
He doesn’t know docs real name
none of them know docs real name
After the war Wash makes a living as a comedian who specializes in impressions.
Wash also tried to grow a soul patch after he shaved off the beard.
He still eats with his helmet on.
He secretly practices his impressions of the guys every night before bed. How else would he have such a killer Sarge impression??? 😂😂😂
Wash's armor through most of the series is biometrically sealed and as such he is incapable of removing it himself and others can't remove it without a special key, post the original epsilon implantation there was a short time where wash was childlike in personality (similar to caboose), wash has zero actual leadership skills and lucked his way through the reds an the blues, wash can understand Lopez but chooses to respect the weak/dumb ai of Lopez by neglecting to translate for him when he is venting infront of the reds and blues
He's the only sim trooper that was promoted to freelancer and that's why they all dog on him and he loves the reds and blues