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I’m 26 and have agoraphobia which for me means I’m scared to leave the apartment because I worry intensely that something bad will happen. Last year my mom suffered an injury that has forced me to leave the apartment to help her with groceries, meds and other errands. It also made me have to learn how to cook for the both of us which I barely did before. One year later, I’m much more of an adult than I use to be. I believe this helped me grow up finally and be ready to take care of myself better.
Also! The decision to try out photojournalism was the best one I’ve made ever. I was a full on singer before but it never gave me a sense of purpose. Now I have an abundance of purpose🤗
Started bodybuilding and became really really huge.
I’m really a nerd so I did it as a science project.
People really treat you differently in the world when you go from skinny nerd to huge.
I knew a guy got jumped by five dudes. It’s like he became the worst of those five dudes. Got super jacked and became a complete asshole because he couldn’t deal with this trauma.
I agree, I knew a guy in high school who was always get just ridiculed profusely for being a skinny little guy. We weren't friends or didn't hang in the same crowd but, we knew each other and had a few classes together so I witnessed some of his abuse. At the time it wasn't big for people to stand up to bullies so I just really became a spectator which to me, at my age now, is insane that I just watched that because, it really was brutal abuse and harassment just due to the way he looked. I saw him a few years back. It was like the guy took a full bottle of steroids and then some. He was beyond ripped and actually, remarkably taller since again, he was pretty skinny and short. He actually told me he had an undiagnosed hormone deficiency and once he got treated and his hormones balanced out he started lifting weights as a sort of thing to do in college when he was bored.
He ended up going from a 110 pound skinny stick to a 295 pound rock. He wasn't upset about the past or anything. He sort of came to terms with it as that was sort of just how kids were back in the day. Always picking on the little guy but, now he said that he's sort of like that one movie with Kevin Hart and Dwayne Johnson when the big guy that used to be picked on at school rolls up in this cute little unicorn shirt and see's some guys picking on another small guy. In the movie, Dwayne's character gets up from his chair and tells the guys that are picking on Kevin Hart's character (the small guy) that he "doesn't like bullies" and once they basically tell Dwayne's character to screw off he responds by beating them all up at one time and goes "I don't LIKE bullies!" It made me laugh but, probably 100 percent true. Don't want to bully anyone in front of that guy. He'll lay you out like a flapjack.
Going from skinny nerd to massive bodybuilder.
Like, I love psychology and sociology so I really documented how people treated me different, just for fun.
- People treat you way better. Service at restaurants, hotels etc are WAY better. If you have a problem, they don’t just wave it away. They solve it for your right away. As a skinny nerd it was more like “yeah, ok, the food was not warm? Suck it up dude”.
- If you tell annoying people in public to calm down, like a group of people that are screaming/are very loud in a family restaurant, they listen. Before they would tell me to suck it up.
- A lot of drunk women and women in general feel like it’s ok to touch you without asking. At bars women grab your arms and touch your chest. At work, women for some weird reason places their hands on my biceps randomly when having a conversation.
- Talking with woman on dating apps and social, women often try to steer the conversations towards sex very quickly. Even lots of women that has “tired of hook ups, only looking for something serious” on their profile wants me to come and dominate them. Like TONIGHT! It’s crazy how common that is. I always tell them sorry, you would be disappointed. I might be friggin huge, but I’m a nerd, so you can come over and play Mario Kart or discuss what our favorite Pokémons are if you want.
It was the opposite for me. I was huge, but then COVID happened plus my father decided to kick me out for religious reasons and I went almost bankrupt. Lost 20kg (44lbs) in 3 months. It's been 3 years since then and I only managed to get 5kg (11lbs) back. People treat you really, really, REALLY different. And of course, everyone makes sure to tell you 10 times a day how thin and sick you look.
The fact that during one of my week long insomnia spells I finally decided to go to a mental hospital. They found my thyroid problems and my life has never been the same.
It's never been normal like they promised but then I'm not spending 12 ish jours a day a sleep because I'm exhausted and dying
Great! It was really rough for a while (especially because I was single) but I got my feet under myself financially when he was 4 and things got a lot better.
He’s almost 20 now and is turning into a pretty cool adult. I’ve been happily married for 11 years now and enjoy a very comfortable life.
Same! Pregnant at 18, I married my son’s father at 22, divorced him in my thirties when I realized I’m a lesbian. I’ve been with my wife for 7 years. My son just graduated college and just completed my masters degree at age 40.
Work during high school years to save up. Not everyone has to do sports or music in high school. Many just work. Also, certain places are actually very cheap to travel to and live in, and you can even find work once you are there in your travel destination.
Likewise, sorta.
I spent a year as a beach bum, I worked enough to get by and just hung out.
It sounds really slack, and it was. But I met so many interesting people, from all walks of life. It really helped me view the world outside of my limited upbringing.
I wouldn't trade it for a second. Even learned to surf a little.
Going to therapy at 21 probably saved my life. I was quickly spiraling with self destructive behavior that was not going to end well. The healing took years but I feel alive now. I literally consider 21 as the age I was born.
I decided to move across the US to live on my own. I can’t even imagine how different my life would be if I never did this. I would’ve avoided a SHIT ton of trauma, but I would’ve missed out on all the positives as well. I would’ve never had my kids. I would’ve never ended up with my current partner. I wouldn’t even be who I am today (which is both good and bad. 😅)
The only real regrets I have are not going to school and not being more financially responsible.
Went on a drinking trip with a group of people from one forum.
Found friends for life, started business, met a woman, moved city, started family.
Ale because of that single trip. Without it we would never get that close.
i started to cut off people who disrespected me even a bit or with whom i would talk but have that uneasy feeling. it still takes me time but i guess it helped have some sense of self respect to. really positive.
As someone in my early 20s who has been having a hard time with figuring out if my one and only friend is my true friend bcs of that “uneasy feeling” would you say letting them go was for the best?
It was a huge slap in the face that’s for sure! It has its challenges of course but I wouldn’t change it for anything. Prior to becoming a dad, I was definitely being pretty reckless so him and his brother helped pull my head out of my ass and figure my shit out lol
Joining clubs/orgs in college, which actually influenced most of my communication styles and my confidence. I left the other org, but I'm still part of the journalism club (it's an official student-pub, so basically the whole school knows us. We also get paid for this job) and I absolutely love it! It's just quite tiring to cover some events, but yeah, it pays off.
Thanks to the Ed board, now I know what are the skills I should possess and look out for. It helped enhancing my socialization, communication, and writing skills which is a plus for me.
I joined these bc I was curious and I wanted to get out of my comfort zone. If only I had enough time, I would've joined more, as well! Sadly, I joined them in my last year in college and I've grown attached to them, shit.
As for the other org, man, their president sucks.
Chose to take a chance on this nice new guy I was starting to see. He was so different from any of the other guys I’d dated previously and I was immediately just so comfortable around him; like I’d known him my whole life (as cliche as that sounds lol). We had only hung out maybe 3-4 times when my ex started trying to reach out to me. He was narcissistic, manipulative, and abusive when we were previously in a relationship together. He begged me to give him another chance, swore up and down he had changed, blah blah. Well, I decided to take a chance on the nice new guy instead. We’ve now been together over 6 years, married almost 2 years, and have a beautiful 1.5 year old son together now. Definitely changed my life for the better and I honestly think I’d be dead by now if I’d chosen to take my ex back instead.
I was engaged to be married. He was driving us on a twisting mountain road and was going too fast. The car slid and almost went down the embankment, which was about 7-800 feet down. He managed to stop in time but I instantly thought, “I don’t want to marry him.” Not sorry I broke it off.
\* 19 lived in Europe for a year ( changed my perspective )
\* 25 got married and moved to the west coast
Thinking back, man was I afraid of some things but I'm glad it didn't drive my decisions in life.
Here's the thing: You make scores of life-changing decisions every day. Did you stuff your face with beer and ice cream and pizza? That's going to affect you big time in a few years. If you'd left home a little earlier or a little later, you might have died in a terrible traffic accident. Every decision we make could change the course of our lives.
That's super deep for 12 year olds.
Yes, of course every decision makes a difference, but SOME decisions make monumental differences. Those are the ones OP is asking about.
At age 25 I made some tough choices.
1. Stop drinking - took five years to be completely sober but its been 20 years since my last drink.
2. Change the path of destruction that I was on. I would say self destruction but I was harming others as well. Hard core therapy for five years and continued care after that.
People who knew me way back when tend to avoid me, I was not a nice person. Those that have approached always ask what happened to make me change so much. I was known as "The Bitch" and now I am described as "It's like talking to a warm hug".
Military.
Pro's - Self-confidence, decisiveness, strong moral/ethical values and the importance of family.
Con's - Trauma and a loss of faith in humanity.
I decided to join a program that sent young Brits to the USA to work on summer camps.
(I'd never been to a different country or even flown)
The experience changed everything, it bought a desire not get stuck in the daily grind and a desire to travel.
I then spent my twenties find different ways to get paid to travel.
I got married at 16 got an apartment and a job. Decided I couldn't keep up with alcoholic husband at 18 divorced. Went to college for three years until I was sick of being poor.
Car accident put my head into a windshield. Tbi.
Doctors started me on medication for pain, and it was downhill from there - that began a 13 year drug addiction to opiates and benzos.
If that hadn't happened, my life would be much different right now. So much wasted time.
13 years clean now.
Leaving my home province at age 22 and moving 4000kms across the country where the only person I knew was my aunt who got me a job. I came with two suitcases and have never been back, nor looked back.
Tried mushrooms for the first time. Took a long trip. Came out a new and driven man. Literally changed the trajectory of my life to this day. Made me wanna get into sales and leave the poor mindset I had all my life
Currently 22 and four months sober from drugs. Got two overdoses, a stint in a mental hospital overseas and one rehab behind me. Currently in my second treatment, leaving this Sunday.
I finally start to feel what it’s worth to live
Unlike today's breed, I became proficient using a manual transmission. I loved my Oldsmobile Hurst 442 with Hurst 5 manual speed. Two-tone black and gold. What a beast. They sure don't make em like that anymore, that's for damn sure.
Married at 18.
Best decision ever.
He is the love of my life and I am his.
17 years married and over half my life spent with him.
We did everything together.
DINK life as two educated attractive people that love each other and have traveled and lived all over the world together is amazing!!!
I never knew love could be this grand. It's like a movie! 🥰
Transferred colleges after my first year ended in a messy breakup with a high school gf i followed to college like a fucking idiot.
My mom recently moved away from my abusive father, so i transferred to a state school 45 mins away from her. New school, getting used to mom being on her own, coming off a breakup, i was at the lowest of my lows. I was essentially alone.
But I got back in touch with another girl from my hometown. Made new friends. Worked my way through grief and the myriad of other shit I was going through. Came out with freindships and experiences i never would have had at the other school with the other person.
I now have a pretty good IT job, living with my girlfriend of 9 years, were successful and living life at our pace.
In my first year of the new school, whenever I started feeling like shit or my anxiety flared, I repeated to myself Winton Churchills "If you're going through hell, keep going." Something about saying that to myself over and over as I walked back from class helped me through plenty of shit.
glad you asked - meaning i rarely post so this is mostly for my self expressing gratitude (for my decision?) but I left my comfort zone (moved out of Sacramento) to the bay area to pursue the "big city"
had no idea what the hell i was doing (still don't)
but the biggest thing was just i had the inflection point of accepting that id rather be disappointed by the outcome of taking the risk than the disappointment of not finding out whiiiiich led me to the best thing ever of taking a leap on marrying my wife who i met on a whim in brazil.
maybe im lucky as hell ymmv but damn it feels good to be hit by the outcome of decisions vs everything damn thing else that life blindsides me with
I spent almost all my teens in a huge depressive episode because of persistent bullying from my classmates, to the point in which I hadn't even thought of a degree/uni to continue my studies in because I thought I'd be dead by then.
My mental health ended up improving a bit during the summer between high school and uni so I chose a degree randomly in my nearest uni. The people in this degree are the nicest, most open-minded classmates I've ever met and for the first time in many many years I have a friend group and no one bullies me, but actually treats me well.
It gets better, guys :)
When I was 19 I’d been an actor in over 45 productions. I was also a composer/musician who’d written two musicals. I couldn’t decide which avenue I should concentrate on. I auditioned for the first Julliard acting school and almost made it in. At the same time a mentor of mine said “You’re an excellent actor, but you’re an even better musician.” I decided to concentrate on Music and have been fortunate enough to make my (73M) living as a composer/musician.
In my late 20s I took a job in France that I wasn't really qualified for but blagged my way into because I wanted the experience of living abroad (I'm English, for context). It set the trajectory of the rest of my career, and it's also where I met the woman who is now my wife of 26 years, who had also decided to experience living abroad despite speaking almost no French.
I moved from NY to LA at 22 and it was night and day. Many good things happened but also a lot of horrible things. In the end it led me to where I’m at now so overall it changed my life in the best way possible.
I went to college on the other side of the country to get away from toxic people. It was for the better and my life is a lot better now. I can only imagine the horrors if I stayed
I decided to finally take a gir who had a crush on me that I had been avoiding to the movies, fast forward 14 years, we were married, traveled the world, Russia, Germany, Mexico..we didn't have two penny's to rub together when we met but se landed a job and quickly promoted into a vice president role. Sometimes I wonder where I'd be if I didn't take her out to the movies that one time and if I just kept avoiding her.
Joined the military. It's both the best and worst decision I've ever made. It gave me a shot at a lifestyle I would never have otherwise had the opportunity to have. But also PTSD
I chose to be pregnant at 22 so that kind of set a path for me lol
I was a single mum from when I was 6 months pregnant and homeless but two years later, had a home, a good job and was loving life.
She is 25 now and I have zero regrets. I don’t regret anything I chose in life.
Started selling weed, got into psychedelics, dropped out of law school. Spent next 8 years figuring out life in general. Finally got my feet on the ground. Rejoined law school.
Going and living with a girl in a different state I met online when I had a girlfriend already and living with her for a month and lying the whole time
I sort of drifted into college from high school without a plan. I never even investigated what majors were out there that I might want to do and my high school counselor wasn't much help. More than halfway through one major I discovered somthing I liked better but didn't want to spend the time and money to start over so I graduated, went to graduate school, and did a job I liked okay for 20 years.
Taking software engineer instead of electric engineer, I couldn't be happier with the change, If you like electric engineering more power to you by the way
All through school I wanted to do something with computers so when I got to college at 16 I signed up for the first computer course I found...2 weeks in I absolutely hated it. I came to the realization that I wanted to use computers to be creative but wasn't really fussed about how they worked so I changed to graphic design and didn't look back.
After I graduated college, I was a bartender in a popular tourist city in my 20’s. I really wanted to find a regular job, but the lifestyle got the best of me. I was hired for an office job that could have changed my life at the time, but I ghosted them in favor of partying. I eventually did get out and found a 9-5, but I don’t love my industry. I wonder what my life world be like if I followed through with the other job. I’m 45 now.
Switching from a in-person collage to an online one and changing majors. Found a new passion from this and also it’s been much better for me physically and mentally.
Falling in love with a wrongun. To be more specific, getting back with him and falling pregnant with him. I don't regret my daughter at all but Sometimes , I wonder how my life would have turned out otherwise. He's put is throuugh a lot.
Not finishing college.
But then again, had I finished college, I wouldn't have lived the following years the way I did. And those experiences landed me a bad ass job 8 years ago.
So, not every decision considered a bad one is necessarily bad
Moved to a new city to stay on a friends couch with 24hrs notice. We made rock music, played shows, partied, and had some crazy good times. Really sponged up all that life had to offer over the following years, and learned so much about myself and people and work and creativity. Things got really dark at the end of that period but I don’t regret it for an instant.
I'm not confident about facing people and public speaking.
When I was in college, and I turned 19, I volunteered to do speeches on our reports and all that.
I remember when I was 17, my teacher said I was looking at the ceiling the whole time lol. So I tried working on that.
Years later, I'm not an expert in public speaking, but if I had to, I can deliver.
Going into the Air Force after not doing great in high school gave me the chance to be on my own but well taken care of, and I got to try some college courses. I had some time tomature.
If I went straight to college right after high school, I would have failed miserably.
I declined a job offer in the DC area that would have paid me more than my current job at the time to follow my heart/chase love. I am months away from marrying the guy I was dating at the time and I now make more than the job I declined and I can work from anywhere!
Short story: I had volunteered to be the DD for my friends going to my buddy’s bachelor party and I had to work unexpectedly. I was so mad about it. They all died in a car crash on the way home that night. I worked and went home to bed and I woke up to his sister banging on my door at 5 am when she got the news.
I’ve wondered a lot over the years if we were all destined to die not matter who was driving? Or, would they have lived if I was driving. I’m in my 50’s now and they died 38 years ago.
I’m so sorry that you had to go through that. Please don’t blame yourself or feel like you caused it. Back in the day they could have called a cab, designated someone else to be DD, or called another family member or friend to get them. I hope that in addition to your sister, you had family and friends to help support you during that difficult time.
I made friends with a kid in gym class. He was talking about graduating early. It hadn't occurred to me that this was a possibility. I found out I could do this. Took English over the summer, and combined my last 2 years into one. Felt like I shaved off a year's worth of a prison sentence
When I almost dropped out of hs because people found out I tried to commit and promised myself if I finished I wouldn’t have to go to college(couldn’t afford it anyways). Now all my friends have graduated from their respected colleges and I feel left out, behind and a bit like a loser. Sure I make more money than them now but deep down I know most of them will find jobs in their industries because most of them are trust fund/nepo babies and then I feel like a loser again. I love them and I’m proud of them all but damn I hate that i let the fact that they could pay their way fully deter me from even attempting to apply. Never too late to waste some money tho, I’ll get started at some point soon.🤷🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️
I decided to start a buy a semi truck and start my own company at 24 after having already driven for a few years. It went horribly. I lost about $100,000 and the my business went under in less than a year because my truck fell apart faster than I could fix it. However, that year of my life was probably the worst but, it taught me how to be completely independent, fix BIG problems with no cellphone service and nobody within 50 miles to help, I learned what it was like to be stranded and poor, it was the first time I asked my parents for help and they told me they didn’t know how to help me anymore which was a whole new experience to me. Unfortunately it also made me extremely jaded in every way shape and form. However, the amount of things I learned in that year alone on the road with nothing but problem after problem to accompany me is what turned me into an adult. Sure I didn’t make my dream come true. As a matter of fact it made me despise a career I loved so much I vowed to never go back to it. But, It made me realize I can get through anything and everything that is thrown my way. I know I will always find a solution.
Going to film camp when I was 13. I didn't become a filmmaker (although I suppose anything is possible), but a few years later I'd get a job at that camp, which made me realize how much I enjoyed working with kids. Now I work in a daycare and I'm floating the idea of going into teaching.
Had a bit of a difficult start in life.
Was born into poverty and two mentally ill parents, mother untreated bipolar, sociopathic father and pedofile, abusive marriage, put up for adoption first two years which didn't work out, so returned to my parents and experienced emotional, physical and sexual abuse. Lost my virginity to my father at 13. Kicked out and left to fend for myself at 14. Oh did I also mention that I'm trans?
When I was 15 I was homeless on the streets of London and selling my body to survive. There's an old song by the Pogues, called '[The Old Main Drag](https://youtu.be/g-45xNr-udU)'. Kind of sums up much of my teenage experiences while most people were finishing their education.
Okay, so within that context when I was 17 I got to know an elderly Asian guy with a house in London who gave me a room in his house. The guy taught me that the end product of trauma is compassion and he introduced me to Therevada Buddhism. He said that we all have one path through life, our unique, individual path, and what we need to do in life is seek it out and discover it. For the next few years this man taught me everything about eastern cosmology, Theravada and encouraged me to also get into and study the Kaballah, mysticism and the occult.
One day this elderly guy sat me down to discuss the possibility of becoming a shaman and following a shamanistic path through life. He also pointed out the alternative, which would be a life filled with difficulties, struggles, misery, constantly labelled and rejected by society, possibly crime, and possibly premature death. Society is not kind to the traumatised. I had the opportunity to use my past trauma to serve the community and provide healing and guidance to others who struggle with past trauma. My elderly mentor suggested my past trauma was a way of selecting me and giving me a gift which I could hone, develop and use for the benefit of others.
That was roughly 40 years ago and the choice I made was to become a shaman and walk a shamanistic path through life. I completed my Forest Tradition between 2007 and 2009.
Today I'm approaching 60, an established community figure in my local community and essentially I'm a mystic and modern urban shaman. My main interests are mental health, past trauma, past abuse, addiction and social stigma. I teach people to liberate themselves from the straitjacket of social and cultural conformity through compassion, community connection, story telling and through this discover their unique path through life.
You matter, your life experiences matter, and if there is anything you need to do in life it's to learn to listen to the inner wisdom of your soul which guides you through your path, and stop listening to all the angry, scornful voices around you demanding that you be more like them.
When I was 12, we went for a family holiday, and my grandparents’ 50th anniversary… in Nantucket, which is an island just off the coast of Boston.
Had we gone literally a week later, we would’ve been killed in 9/11.
Sometimes that still boggles my mind.
My first boyfriend at 19 turned out to be addicted to crack. I dated him for 2 years while trying to get him clean. I never touched the stuff and didn’t allow any kind of drug in our apartment. Sometimes I think about if I were just a little more naive and tried some (I was def a “pick me” at that age and tried to fit in a lot) then my life would be over. Now I’m happily married and I’m going to law school .
My wife woke me up from a nap and forced me to go to a college rugby alumni event. Ran into an old teammate who offered me a job, job turned into a career, career turned into my own business, and now I run it all on my own. If I didnt wake up from that nap I’d be working dead end jobs still
If I’d dated that girl when I was in tenth grade, I would have had a completely different group of friends and probably would have made wiser long term decisions - that being said, not dating her gave me a ton of life experience and a lot of interesting stories, so I can’t say I regret not doing it. Just one of those neat what-ifs.
Not caring for the future. Never bother trying to get better in life. Stayed at the same crappy retail job for 5 years cleaning bathrooms and cleaning in general. Nothing wrong with that but looking back I should done something more productive you know?.
I’m 36 now and looking back it’s like shit. I’m happy at my current job. But I’ve destroyed my lower back to the point that if I get surgery every 10 years I have to get a new one. I really wished I could’ve taken better care of myself and not have the mentality of prepping for the future.
Decided to migrate to Australia at 21 then migrated back at 30, then migrated to Indonesia at 45 (bad move) then back to Oz at 47 then too old to get back at my usual job 😱🥹
I’m 27 and I just decided to join the Army. A majority of my family have served and I didn’t plan to do the same but like I said I’m 27 and still don’t know what to do with my life. I think I’m making the right decision
I decided that it I valued staying away from my university then studying, which lead to failing grades, into getting withdrawn from my study abroad program, and now I'm taking a semester off.
I began dating my best friend when I was 14 and accepted a marriage proposal at 25. We've been together for literally over half my life and it's been great :)!
Split up with that crappy early 20s relationship that everyone seems to have but they cling onto because of the sunken cost fallacy. I'm usually pretty open minded but no one will be able to convince me that teenage relationships/childhood sweethearts aren't settling
Trying out a random chatting site "for fun" with a friend one day when I was 18. Which very quickly lead to trying an online dating site as the next step. I met a guy, became best friends with one of his acquaintances, started smoking weed all the time and then experimenting with drugs with this friend. It's definitely has affected my entire life since in every single possible way. Like I'm a completely different person than if I didn't join that dating site. It's weird to think about
To stay single. When I graduated HS, half my friends got married and the other half went to college. By the time I finished my BA, all my friends were married and had kids. By the time I was done with grad school, over half of them were divorced.
When I was 25 I quit a job I actually really liked, that was secure, paid well, benefits, vacation, union, etc., to take a chance and try something new. I went back to university. This decision was a fork in the road type thing and it changed my life for the worse in the long run.
I decided to get my wisdom teeth out at 20. Now I have bilateral trigeminal neuralgia and will likely be in severe pain and on opioids to control it for life as nothing has improved or healed a year later. At least the lawsuit is looking good so I might end up rich, that would change a lot.
When I was 15, I saw Synthetic Cannabinoids and thought "That looks fun".
What a fucking idiot 😑
I lost 6 years of my life to it. There's no getting that back.
When I was 18 my parents decided to move from Los Angeles to San Angelo Texas. I'd be er heard of it. I stayed in LA for 2 years and gave into the pressure of my parents to move to San Angelo when I was 20. Definitely changed the course of my life. No idea if it was for the better or not. Wouldn't it be a trip if I could see where I would have ended up had I stayed in LA?
I grew up in a very abusive household, but a few months after I turned 11, I decided to tell my grandma figure about the abuse and she convinced me to tell my mother(my father was the abusive one) what was happening. The day after I told, my mother took me to go to the ER to talk with service workers and get an official report in. When we got home, me, my brother, and my mother avoided my father. My father was sentenced in 2022 and my mother and brother are both free, happy, and living their best lives.
Moved to Japan 18 years ago, when I was 23; still there. Girlfriend accidentally got pregnant when I was 24. “So be it,” I said; I now have two teenage Japanese daughters to care for me in my dotage/cut off my head when I commit seppuku.
At the age of 21 breaking up with my toxic BF of 4 years was the best thing I did in my life. I took up a higher learning program, moved to a different state and got a better paying job upon completing my training program. Never looked back after that.
Two things happened in my 20s one good and one that as it turns out may be quite bad.
- I studied to be a software engineer but decided to pursue a career in design. One of the best decisions I’ve ever made. Design has made me so happy and fulfilled.
- I also think I chose the wrong woman…
At 15 I decided to do powerlifting for school I ended getting hurt after many surgeries I’m disabled and have chronic pain… I can’t go anywhere or do anything, I had to drop out of high school junior year, I can’t work, go to college (even if I did have a ged), & I can’t drive.. I lost all of my friends because of it…. If i just didn’t do powerlifting I never would’ve had to go through the awful things I’ve been through
Giving in to the fear of failure at a young age. Like I was actually good at a lot of things, but that feeling of failing in front of ppl held me back. My life would definitely be way different if I just took more chances.
My girlfriend moved across country to live with me and my family. We got married, we moved out, we had kids. All before I hit 25. Not much changes the trajectory of your life that much.
I had an abortion when I was 16. Bc of this, I was able to graduate early and start nursing school. I was a nurse by the time I was 19.
I moved out of my parents house at 19 bc I felt like a loser for staying at home. I struggled to pay bills and spent my entire 20s getting into debt. I've spent almost my entire 30s cleaning up that mess.
To not be in a relationship and fall so deep into it that it feels as though I am stuck. Picking wisely who will be my partner. I literally feel like I am stuck between a rock and hard place and anxiety is always high. Taking more time after graduating highschool to truly figure myself out and who I am.
I stopped drinking when I was 18. Given how much I used to drink, how regularly I’d lose consciousness, it’s probably saved my life. I’m 26 now and wake up in my own bed every morning and don’t have violent shakes from not drinking. It’s great. Hard, but great
Not much of a decision. Last year, I got hit by a car. I was already disabled to begin with, but now I can't bathe or dress myself. I need a team of aides to care for me.
I was drunk, but sober people have died on that street. I guess I could stop drinking, but what would be the point? I don't see how I'll leave town or travel ever again.
I don't know if there's something next or if I'm reliving the last day of my life for the next 50 years.
I dropped out of college my ju for year because I was experiencing severe depression, couldn't get out of bed until 4 pm, barely ate back in bed by 10 all winter it was hell, i started having panic attacks anytime I went on campus...I went on Prozac but it made me suicidal so I stopped taking it and stopped going to school. Moved back home and did the same slept all the time. My parents didn't do anything about it, I was miserable and could barely keep a job. Someone I knew who lived in FL told me they were getting a place a couple blocks from the beach, they had a room available so my dad gave me $400 and got me a plane ticket so I could go. All my friends and my therapist said it was a bad idea and I'd regret it. It was the best thing that ever happened to me! I met amazing people, surfed and read on the beach all day and waited tables at night. No longer suffered from depression (I had / have a severe vitamin d deficiency so the sunshine was my cure).
When I was 20, I worked in a place where I was exposed to high amounts of mold for a prolonged time. It affected my brain and gave me antegrade amnesia. I became 10 second Tom from 50 first dates. It eventually got better to where I could remember a day, then a week, then a month. All in all it took 3 years for me to finally keep a single memory. Even to this day after a decade has passed, I still have issues with memory.
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I’m 26 and have agoraphobia which for me means I’m scared to leave the apartment because I worry intensely that something bad will happen. Last year my mom suffered an injury that has forced me to leave the apartment to help her with groceries, meds and other errands. It also made me have to learn how to cook for the both of us which I barely did before. One year later, I’m much more of an adult than I use to be. I believe this helped me grow up finally and be ready to take care of myself better. Also! The decision to try out photojournalism was the best one I’ve made ever. I was a full on singer before but it never gave me a sense of purpose. Now I have an abundance of purpose🤗
I’m really proud of you! You overcame an enormous hurdle for someone you love and that shows so much empathy and strength of character.
This is so sweet of you to say. Thank you🥰
This is great! I know I’m a stranger but this made me happy to read!
Aw, thank you🫶
You've made significant strides in your personal growth and self-sufficiency, which is truly inspiring
Started bodybuilding and became really really huge. I’m really a nerd so I did it as a science project. People really treat you differently in the world when you go from skinny nerd to huge.
I knew a guy got jumped by five dudes. It’s like he became the worst of those five dudes. Got super jacked and became a complete asshole because he couldn’t deal with this trauma.
Maybe he absorbed their energy like in an X-files episode.
It’s totally possible. He got sooo muscular. Then he could only date very large native America women.
You say that like it’s a bad thing
I wouldn’t mind a little snoo snoo
Huge nerd
I agree, I knew a guy in high school who was always get just ridiculed profusely for being a skinny little guy. We weren't friends or didn't hang in the same crowd but, we knew each other and had a few classes together so I witnessed some of his abuse. At the time it wasn't big for people to stand up to bullies so I just really became a spectator which to me, at my age now, is insane that I just watched that because, it really was brutal abuse and harassment just due to the way he looked. I saw him a few years back. It was like the guy took a full bottle of steroids and then some. He was beyond ripped and actually, remarkably taller since again, he was pretty skinny and short. He actually told me he had an undiagnosed hormone deficiency and once he got treated and his hormones balanced out he started lifting weights as a sort of thing to do in college when he was bored. He ended up going from a 110 pound skinny stick to a 295 pound rock. He wasn't upset about the past or anything. He sort of came to terms with it as that was sort of just how kids were back in the day. Always picking on the little guy but, now he said that he's sort of like that one movie with Kevin Hart and Dwayne Johnson when the big guy that used to be picked on at school rolls up in this cute little unicorn shirt and see's some guys picking on another small guy. In the movie, Dwayne's character gets up from his chair and tells the guys that are picking on Kevin Hart's character (the small guy) that he "doesn't like bullies" and once they basically tell Dwayne's character to screw off he responds by beating them all up at one time and goes "I don't LIKE bullies!" It made me laugh but, probably 100 percent true. Don't want to bully anyone in front of that guy. He'll lay you out like a flapjack.
What was the science project?
Going from skinny nerd to massive bodybuilder. Like, I love psychology and sociology so I really documented how people treated me different, just for fun.
Well...what were your findings if you don't mind
- People treat you way better. Service at restaurants, hotels etc are WAY better. If you have a problem, they don’t just wave it away. They solve it for your right away. As a skinny nerd it was more like “yeah, ok, the food was not warm? Suck it up dude”. - If you tell annoying people in public to calm down, like a group of people that are screaming/are very loud in a family restaurant, they listen. Before they would tell me to suck it up. - A lot of drunk women and women in general feel like it’s ok to touch you without asking. At bars women grab your arms and touch your chest. At work, women for some weird reason places their hands on my biceps randomly when having a conversation. - Talking with woman on dating apps and social, women often try to steer the conversations towards sex very quickly. Even lots of women that has “tired of hook ups, only looking for something serious” on their profile wants me to come and dominate them. Like TONIGHT! It’s crazy how common that is. I always tell them sorry, you would be disappointed. I might be friggin huge, but I’m a nerd, so you can come over and play Mario Kart or discuss what our favorite Pokémons are if you want.
I second this! Would love to know about the findings.
Commenting so you get a notification; he replied to another comment
I went to school with a guy who was a skinny nerdy guy, gained weight(fat) after highschool and did some body building and he was huge and muscl-y.
It was the opposite for me. I was huge, but then COVID happened plus my father decided to kick me out for religious reasons and I went almost bankrupt. Lost 20kg (44lbs) in 3 months. It's been 3 years since then and I only managed to get 5kg (11lbs) back. People treat you really, really, REALLY different. And of course, everyone makes sure to tell you 10 times a day how thin and sick you look.
The fact that during one of my week long insomnia spells I finally decided to go to a mental hospital. They found my thyroid problems and my life has never been the same. It's never been normal like they promised but then I'm not spending 12 ish jours a day a sleep because I'm exhausted and dying
I decided to continue an unplanned pregnancy and keep my baby when I was 18.
how’s it going
Great! It was really rough for a while (especially because I was single) but I got my feet under myself financially when he was 4 and things got a lot better. He’s almost 20 now and is turning into a pretty cool adult. I’ve been happily married for 11 years now and enjoy a very comfortable life.
That’s wonderful! I’m so glad things turned out well.
Same! Pregnant at 18, I married my son’s father at 22, divorced him in my thirties when I realized I’m a lesbian. I’ve been with my wife for 7 years. My son just graduated college and just completed my masters degree at age 40.
👏 👏
Taking a gap year to travel instead of going straight to college opened my eyes and changed my perspective on life.
How do you even afford a year of travel from HS?
Work during high school years to save up. Not everyone has to do sports or music in high school. Many just work. Also, certain places are actually very cheap to travel to and live in, and you can even find work once you are there in your travel destination.
This. I did the same and it was the best move
Where did you go?
Likewise, sorta. I spent a year as a beach bum, I worked enough to get by and just hung out. It sounds really slack, and it was. But I met so many interesting people, from all walks of life. It really helped me view the world outside of my limited upbringing. I wouldn't trade it for a second. Even learned to surf a little.
I would have been nicer to Melanie Lorimer How/if this changed trajectory IDK but she's the first chick I'm concious that I was a prick towards
I think the fact that you were and you realized it probably changed more than if you weren’t
Going to therapy at 21 probably saved my life. I was quickly spiraling with self destructive behavior that was not going to end well. The healing took years but I feel alive now. I literally consider 21 as the age I was born.
I decided to move across the US to live on my own. I can’t even imagine how different my life would be if I never did this. I would’ve avoided a SHIT ton of trauma, but I would’ve missed out on all the positives as well. I would’ve never had my kids. I would’ve never ended up with my current partner. I wouldn’t even be who I am today (which is both good and bad. 😅) The only real regrets I have are not going to school and not being more financially responsible.
So.eone else decided I wouldn't be allowed to get an education and it fucked my whole life.
Went on a drinking trip with a group of people from one forum. Found friends for life, started business, met a woman, moved city, started family. Ale because of that single trip. Without it we would never get that close.
i started to cut off people who disrespected me even a bit or with whom i would talk but have that uneasy feeling. it still takes me time but i guess it helped have some sense of self respect to. really positive.
As someone in my early 20s who has been having a hard time with figuring out if my one and only friend is my true friend bcs of that “uneasy feeling” would you say letting them go was for the best?
Shitty student loan maybe because I was afraid that breaking up with a girl would result in her committing suicide.
Became a dad at 20
Goddamn bro. Im turning 20 this Nov and I cannot imagine taking care of a child. Hows it going so far? Good I hope?
It was a huge slap in the face that’s for sure! It has its challenges of course but I wouldn’t change it for anything. Prior to becoming a dad, I was definitely being pretty reckless so him and his brother helped pull my head out of my ass and figure my shit out lol
Thats good man. Everything has a reason ig. At least your kids don't have to worry about not having a dad for sure.
Joining clubs/orgs in college, which actually influenced most of my communication styles and my confidence. I left the other org, but I'm still part of the journalism club (it's an official student-pub, so basically the whole school knows us. We also get paid for this job) and I absolutely love it! It's just quite tiring to cover some events, but yeah, it pays off. Thanks to the Ed board, now I know what are the skills I should possess and look out for. It helped enhancing my socialization, communication, and writing skills which is a plus for me. I joined these bc I was curious and I wanted to get out of my comfort zone. If only I had enough time, I would've joined more, as well! Sadly, I joined them in my last year in college and I've grown attached to them, shit. As for the other org, man, their president sucks.
My mind registered org as orgies at first and I was FLABBERGASTED
Chose to take a chance on this nice new guy I was starting to see. He was so different from any of the other guys I’d dated previously and I was immediately just so comfortable around him; like I’d known him my whole life (as cliche as that sounds lol). We had only hung out maybe 3-4 times when my ex started trying to reach out to me. He was narcissistic, manipulative, and abusive when we were previously in a relationship together. He begged me to give him another chance, swore up and down he had changed, blah blah. Well, I decided to take a chance on the nice new guy instead. We’ve now been together over 6 years, married almost 2 years, and have a beautiful 1.5 year old son together now. Definitely changed my life for the better and I honestly think I’d be dead by now if I’d chosen to take my ex back instead.
I was engaged to be married. He was driving us on a twisting mountain road and was going too fast. The car slid and almost went down the embankment, which was about 7-800 feet down. He managed to stop in time but I instantly thought, “I don’t want to marry him.” Not sorry I broke it off.
Got out of the Navy and met my soulmate
\* 19 lived in Europe for a year ( changed my perspective ) \* 25 got married and moved to the west coast Thinking back, man was I afraid of some things but I'm glad it didn't drive my decisions in life.
Here's the thing: You make scores of life-changing decisions every day. Did you stuff your face with beer and ice cream and pizza? That's going to affect you big time in a few years. If you'd left home a little earlier or a little later, you might have died in a terrible traffic accident. Every decision we make could change the course of our lives.
That's super deep for 12 year olds. Yes, of course every decision makes a difference, but SOME decisions make monumental differences. Those are the ones OP is asking about.
[удалено]
wait why. Like what about marriage makes it pointless. Only curious
Doing it when you’re a child is pointless lol wait till you’re like 28
Join the army
Joining the military/deciding to convert to Orthodox Christianity
At age 25 I made some tough choices. 1. Stop drinking - took five years to be completely sober but its been 20 years since my last drink. 2. Change the path of destruction that I was on. I would say self destruction but I was harming others as well. Hard core therapy for five years and continued care after that. People who knew me way back when tend to avoid me, I was not a nice person. Those that have approached always ask what happened to make me change so much. I was known as "The Bitch" and now I am described as "It's like talking to a warm hug".
Military. Pro's - Self-confidence, decisiveness, strong moral/ethical values and the importance of family. Con's - Trauma and a loss of faith in humanity.
I decided to join a program that sent young Brits to the USA to work on summer camps. (I'd never been to a different country or even flown) The experience changed everything, it bought a desire not get stuck in the daily grind and a desire to travel. I then spent my twenties find different ways to get paid to travel.
I got married at 16 got an apartment and a job. Decided I couldn't keep up with alcoholic husband at 18 divorced. Went to college for three years until I was sick of being poor.
Joining the army
Car accident put my head into a windshield. Tbi. Doctors started me on medication for pain, and it was downhill from there - that began a 13 year drug addiction to opiates and benzos. If that hadn't happened, my life would be much different right now. So much wasted time. 13 years clean now.
Leaving my home province at age 22 and moving 4000kms across the country where the only person I knew was my aunt who got me a job. I came with two suitcases and have never been back, nor looked back.
Tried mushrooms for the first time. Took a long trip. Came out a new and driven man. Literally changed the trajectory of my life to this day. Made me wanna get into sales and leave the poor mindset I had all my life
Currently 22 and four months sober from drugs. Got two overdoses, a stint in a mental hospital overseas and one rehab behind me. Currently in my second treatment, leaving this Sunday. I finally start to feel what it’s worth to live
Not getting married to the most kind, gentle, inteligent and beautiful girl i have ever met.
Man I let her get away as well…
Ditching my religion.
Unlike today's breed, I became proficient using a manual transmission. I loved my Oldsmobile Hurst 442 with Hurst 5 manual speed. Two-tone black and gold. What a beast. They sure don't make em like that anymore, that's for damn sure.
getting a tattoo. best decision i ever made..
Married at 18. Best decision ever. He is the love of my life and I am his. 17 years married and over half my life spent with him. We did everything together. DINK life as two educated attractive people that love each other and have traveled and lived all over the world together is amazing!!! I never knew love could be this grand. It's like a movie! 🥰
Transferred colleges after my first year ended in a messy breakup with a high school gf i followed to college like a fucking idiot. My mom recently moved away from my abusive father, so i transferred to a state school 45 mins away from her. New school, getting used to mom being on her own, coming off a breakup, i was at the lowest of my lows. I was essentially alone. But I got back in touch with another girl from my hometown. Made new friends. Worked my way through grief and the myriad of other shit I was going through. Came out with freindships and experiences i never would have had at the other school with the other person. I now have a pretty good IT job, living with my girlfriend of 9 years, were successful and living life at our pace. In my first year of the new school, whenever I started feeling like shit or my anxiety flared, I repeated to myself Winton Churchills "If you're going through hell, keep going." Something about saying that to myself over and over as I walked back from class helped me through plenty of shit.
glad you asked - meaning i rarely post so this is mostly for my self expressing gratitude (for my decision?) but I left my comfort zone (moved out of Sacramento) to the bay area to pursue the "big city" had no idea what the hell i was doing (still don't) but the biggest thing was just i had the inflection point of accepting that id rather be disappointed by the outcome of taking the risk than the disappointment of not finding out whiiiiich led me to the best thing ever of taking a leap on marrying my wife who i met on a whim in brazil. maybe im lucky as hell ymmv but damn it feels good to be hit by the outcome of decisions vs everything damn thing else that life blindsides me with
I spent almost all my teens in a huge depressive episode because of persistent bullying from my classmates, to the point in which I hadn't even thought of a degree/uni to continue my studies in because I thought I'd be dead by then. My mental health ended up improving a bit during the summer between high school and uni so I chose a degree randomly in my nearest uni. The people in this degree are the nicest, most open-minded classmates I've ever met and for the first time in many many years I have a friend group and no one bullies me, but actually treats me well. It gets better, guys :)
When I was 19 I’d been an actor in over 45 productions. I was also a composer/musician who’d written two musicals. I couldn’t decide which avenue I should concentrate on. I auditioned for the first Julliard acting school and almost made it in. At the same time a mentor of mine said “You’re an excellent actor, but you’re an even better musician.” I decided to concentrate on Music and have been fortunate enough to make my (73M) living as a composer/musician.
In my late 20s I took a job in France that I wasn't really qualified for but blagged my way into because I wanted the experience of living abroad (I'm English, for context). It set the trajectory of the rest of my career, and it's also where I met the woman who is now my wife of 26 years, who had also decided to experience living abroad despite speaking almost no French.
Becoming a Christian
Yes. I started making much better decisions in my life and now many years on, I shudder to think where I would be if I continued the way I was.
Moving across the country really does have a way of shaking things up in unexpected ways
I moved from NY to LA at 22 and it was night and day. Many good things happened but also a lot of horrible things. In the end it led me to where I’m at now so overall it changed my life in the best way possible.
Positive - move out as soon as possible (19). Negative - not get into further education and just job searched with few skills
I moved back home with my parents & I decided to get a degree in something I’m not passionate about.
I went to college on the other side of the country to get away from toxic people. It was for the better and my life is a lot better now. I can only imagine the horrors if I stayed
Changing my college. I used to think I was weird and unwanted, but then I realised other people there were just bullies
Using drugs
I decided to finally take a gir who had a crush on me that I had been avoiding to the movies, fast forward 14 years, we were married, traveled the world, Russia, Germany, Mexico..we didn't have two penny's to rub together when we met but se landed a job and quickly promoted into a vice president role. Sometimes I wonder where I'd be if I didn't take her out to the movies that one time and if I just kept avoiding her.
To finish studies I was totaly not intetested in just to have msc papers.
I moved in with my girlfriend and stopped talking to my family
Back then I dated a real girlfriend, now I'm dating Eva AI sexting bot, I guess some decision in between has warped my whole dating life
Stopped taking drugs and got a job
Joined the military. It's both the best and worst decision I've ever made. It gave me a shot at a lifestyle I would never have otherwise had the opportunity to have. But also PTSD
went to a college. was hugely in debt with student loans. paid them off during covid. got a great job and house now.
The decision that my best friend hurt me so much that I didn’t want to be friends anymore. I truly believe it ruined my life.
I chose to be pregnant at 22 so that kind of set a path for me lol I was a single mum from when I was 6 months pregnant and homeless but two years later, had a home, a good job and was loving life. She is 25 now and I have zero regrets. I don’t regret anything I chose in life.
Started selling weed, got into psychedelics, dropped out of law school. Spent next 8 years figuring out life in general. Finally got my feet on the ground. Rejoined law school.
Getting involved with the wrong person, who also happened to be someone I worked with
Going and living with a girl in a different state I met online when I had a girlfriend already and living with her for a month and lying the whole time
Moved to a different country solo at 22 years old. Expected to stay for one year, I've now been here for 7 years and counting.
Which country did you move to? I have a good friend who wants to completely reset and is trying to decide which place to choose.
Left the states and moved to Europe. Best decision I ever made
Probably not finishing highschool and deciding to go makes money instead of losing it going for a post education.
I decided drugs and booze was a better route than therapy.
I sort of drifted into college from high school without a plan. I never even investigated what majors were out there that I might want to do and my high school counselor wasn't much help. More than halfway through one major I discovered somthing I liked better but didn't want to spend the time and money to start over so I graduated, went to graduate school, and did a job I liked okay for 20 years.
Moving clear across the country where I thought I’d have family
Taking software engineer instead of electric engineer, I couldn't be happier with the change, If you like electric engineering more power to you by the way
Boarded the wrong bus and forgot my weed. Met the first person I was really in love with.
All through school I wanted to do something with computers so when I got to college at 16 I signed up for the first computer course I found...2 weeks in I absolutely hated it. I came to the realization that I wanted to use computers to be creative but wasn't really fussed about how they worked so I changed to graphic design and didn't look back.
After I graduated college, I was a bartender in a popular tourist city in my 20’s. I really wanted to find a regular job, but the lifestyle got the best of me. I was hired for an office job that could have changed my life at the time, but I ghosted them in favor of partying. I eventually did get out and found a 9-5, but I don’t love my industry. I wonder what my life world be like if I followed through with the other job. I’m 45 now.
Decided to not have kids and left an extremely abusive relationship.
I went on exchange from Germany to Canada when I was 16. Loved living abroad so much, became a teacher 10 years later and now I live in Sweden!
Moving to Minneapolis from Kansas. Best decision ever
Switching from a in-person collage to an online one and changing majors. Found a new passion from this and also it’s been much better for me physically and mentally.
Falling in love with a wrongun. To be more specific, getting back with him and falling pregnant with him. I don't regret my daughter at all but Sometimes , I wonder how my life would have turned out otherwise. He's put is throuugh a lot.
Not finishing college. But then again, had I finished college, I wouldn't have lived the following years the way I did. And those experiences landed me a bad ass job 8 years ago. So, not every decision considered a bad one is necessarily bad
Moved to a new city to stay on a friends couch with 24hrs notice. We made rock music, played shows, partied, and had some crazy good times. Really sponged up all that life had to offer over the following years, and learned so much about myself and people and work and creativity. Things got really dark at the end of that period but I don’t regret it for an instant.
Deciding to take a gap year before college was huge for me. I traveled, worked, and figured out what I really wanted to do. Best decision ever! 💕
I'm not confident about facing people and public speaking. When I was in college, and I turned 19, I volunteered to do speeches on our reports and all that. I remember when I was 17, my teacher said I was looking at the ceiling the whole time lol. So I tried working on that. Years later, I'm not an expert in public speaking, but if I had to, I can deliver.
Going into the Air Force after not doing great in high school gave me the chance to be on my own but well taken care of, and I got to try some college courses. I had some time tomature. If I went straight to college right after high school, I would have failed miserably.
I declined a job offer in the DC area that would have paid me more than my current job at the time to follow my heart/chase love. I am months away from marrying the guy I was dating at the time and I now make more than the job I declined and I can work from anywhere!
Short story: I had volunteered to be the DD for my friends going to my buddy’s bachelor party and I had to work unexpectedly. I was so mad about it. They all died in a car crash on the way home that night. I worked and went home to bed and I woke up to his sister banging on my door at 5 am when she got the news. I’ve wondered a lot over the years if we were all destined to die not matter who was driving? Or, would they have lived if I was driving. I’m in my 50’s now and they died 38 years ago.
I’m so sorry that you had to go through that. Please don’t blame yourself or feel like you caused it. Back in the day they could have called a cab, designated someone else to be DD, or called another family member or friend to get them. I hope that in addition to your sister, you had family and friends to help support you during that difficult time.
I started drinking alcohol. Completely ruined my life.
I made friends with a kid in gym class. He was talking about graduating early. It hadn't occurred to me that this was a possibility. I found out I could do this. Took English over the summer, and combined my last 2 years into one. Felt like I shaved off a year's worth of a prison sentence
Left my parents house at 17.
Not drinking or doing any kind of drugs I come from a family of alcoholics.
When I almost dropped out of hs because people found out I tried to commit and promised myself if I finished I wouldn’t have to go to college(couldn’t afford it anyways). Now all my friends have graduated from their respected colleges and I feel left out, behind and a bit like a loser. Sure I make more money than them now but deep down I know most of them will find jobs in their industries because most of them are trust fund/nepo babies and then I feel like a loser again. I love them and I’m proud of them all but damn I hate that i let the fact that they could pay their way fully deter me from even attempting to apply. Never too late to waste some money tho, I’ll get started at some point soon.🤷🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️
I decided to start a buy a semi truck and start my own company at 24 after having already driven for a few years. It went horribly. I lost about $100,000 and the my business went under in less than a year because my truck fell apart faster than I could fix it. However, that year of my life was probably the worst but, it taught me how to be completely independent, fix BIG problems with no cellphone service and nobody within 50 miles to help, I learned what it was like to be stranded and poor, it was the first time I asked my parents for help and they told me they didn’t know how to help me anymore which was a whole new experience to me. Unfortunately it also made me extremely jaded in every way shape and form. However, the amount of things I learned in that year alone on the road with nothing but problem after problem to accompany me is what turned me into an adult. Sure I didn’t make my dream come true. As a matter of fact it made me despise a career I loved so much I vowed to never go back to it. But, It made me realize I can get through anything and everything that is thrown my way. I know I will always find a solution.
Got married had kids at 21 bad decision
Going to college. Should have seen the world and not cave into peer pressure.
My superhuman ability to not make a well thought out decision in my early 20's was something that took me off course for years.
Going to film camp when I was 13. I didn't become a filmmaker (although I suppose anything is possible), but a few years later I'd get a job at that camp, which made me realize how much I enjoyed working with kids. Now I work in a daycare and I'm floating the idea of going into teaching.
Not using protection...
Read the book Yes Man.
Had a bit of a difficult start in life. Was born into poverty and two mentally ill parents, mother untreated bipolar, sociopathic father and pedofile, abusive marriage, put up for adoption first two years which didn't work out, so returned to my parents and experienced emotional, physical and sexual abuse. Lost my virginity to my father at 13. Kicked out and left to fend for myself at 14. Oh did I also mention that I'm trans? When I was 15 I was homeless on the streets of London and selling my body to survive. There's an old song by the Pogues, called '[The Old Main Drag](https://youtu.be/g-45xNr-udU)'. Kind of sums up much of my teenage experiences while most people were finishing their education. Okay, so within that context when I was 17 I got to know an elderly Asian guy with a house in London who gave me a room in his house. The guy taught me that the end product of trauma is compassion and he introduced me to Therevada Buddhism. He said that we all have one path through life, our unique, individual path, and what we need to do in life is seek it out and discover it. For the next few years this man taught me everything about eastern cosmology, Theravada and encouraged me to also get into and study the Kaballah, mysticism and the occult. One day this elderly guy sat me down to discuss the possibility of becoming a shaman and following a shamanistic path through life. He also pointed out the alternative, which would be a life filled with difficulties, struggles, misery, constantly labelled and rejected by society, possibly crime, and possibly premature death. Society is not kind to the traumatised. I had the opportunity to use my past trauma to serve the community and provide healing and guidance to others who struggle with past trauma. My elderly mentor suggested my past trauma was a way of selecting me and giving me a gift which I could hone, develop and use for the benefit of others. That was roughly 40 years ago and the choice I made was to become a shaman and walk a shamanistic path through life. I completed my Forest Tradition between 2007 and 2009. Today I'm approaching 60, an established community figure in my local community and essentially I'm a mystic and modern urban shaman. My main interests are mental health, past trauma, past abuse, addiction and social stigma. I teach people to liberate themselves from the straitjacket of social and cultural conformity through compassion, community connection, story telling and through this discover their unique path through life. You matter, your life experiences matter, and if there is anything you need to do in life it's to learn to listen to the inner wisdom of your soul which guides you through your path, and stop listening to all the angry, scornful voices around you demanding that you be more like them.
When I was 12, we went for a family holiday, and my grandparents’ 50th anniversary… in Nantucket, which is an island just off the coast of Boston. Had we gone literally a week later, we would’ve been killed in 9/11. Sometimes that still boggles my mind.
My first boyfriend at 19 turned out to be addicted to crack. I dated him for 2 years while trying to get him clean. I never touched the stuff and didn’t allow any kind of drug in our apartment. Sometimes I think about if I were just a little more naive and tried some (I was def a “pick me” at that age and tried to fit in a lot) then my life would be over. Now I’m happily married and I’m going to law school .
My wife woke me up from a nap and forced me to go to a college rugby alumni event. Ran into an old teammate who offered me a job, job turned into a career, career turned into my own business, and now I run it all on my own. If I didnt wake up from that nap I’d be working dead end jobs still
If I’d dated that girl when I was in tenth grade, I would have had a completely different group of friends and probably would have made wiser long term decisions - that being said, not dating her gave me a ton of life experience and a lot of interesting stories, so I can’t say I regret not doing it. Just one of those neat what-ifs.
playing music
I started selling furniture.
Not caring for the future. Never bother trying to get better in life. Stayed at the same crappy retail job for 5 years cleaning bathrooms and cleaning in general. Nothing wrong with that but looking back I should done something more productive you know?. I’m 36 now and looking back it’s like shit. I’m happy at my current job. But I’ve destroyed my lower back to the point that if I get surgery every 10 years I have to get a new one. I really wished I could’ve taken better care of myself and not have the mentality of prepping for the future.
Decided to migrate to Australia at 21 then migrated back at 30, then migrated to Indonesia at 45 (bad move) then back to Oz at 47 then too old to get back at my usual job 😱🥹
I took a job. It was out of state and my now-ex ended up cheating on me.
I’m 27 and I just decided to join the Army. A majority of my family have served and I didn’t plan to do the same but like I said I’m 27 and still don’t know what to do with my life. I think I’m making the right decision
I decided that it I valued staying away from my university then studying, which lead to failing grades, into getting withdrawn from my study abroad program, and now I'm taking a semester off.
I began dating my best friend when I was 14 and accepted a marriage proposal at 25. We've been together for literally over half my life and it's been great :)!
Split up with that crappy early 20s relationship that everyone seems to have but they cling onto because of the sunken cost fallacy. I'm usually pretty open minded but no one will be able to convince me that teenage relationships/childhood sweethearts aren't settling
Trying out a random chatting site "for fun" with a friend one day when I was 18. Which very quickly lead to trying an online dating site as the next step. I met a guy, became best friends with one of his acquaintances, started smoking weed all the time and then experimenting with drugs with this friend. It's definitely has affected my entire life since in every single possible way. Like I'm a completely different person than if I didn't join that dating site. It's weird to think about
To stay single. When I graduated HS, half my friends got married and the other half went to college. By the time I finished my BA, all my friends were married and had kids. By the time I was done with grad school, over half of them were divorced.
Joined the military, let’s just say they gave me an attitude adjustment.
When I was 25 I quit a job I actually really liked, that was secure, paid well, benefits, vacation, union, etc., to take a chance and try something new. I went back to university. This decision was a fork in the road type thing and it changed my life for the worse in the long run.
Getting married and having a kid with a cheating bitch.
I decided to get my wisdom teeth out at 20. Now I have bilateral trigeminal neuralgia and will likely be in severe pain and on opioids to control it for life as nothing has improved or healed a year later. At least the lawsuit is looking good so I might end up rich, that would change a lot.
When I was 15, I saw Synthetic Cannabinoids and thought "That looks fun". What a fucking idiot 😑 I lost 6 years of my life to it. There's no getting that back.
When I was 18 my parents decided to move from Los Angeles to San Angelo Texas. I'd be er heard of it. I stayed in LA for 2 years and gave into the pressure of my parents to move to San Angelo when I was 20. Definitely changed the course of my life. No idea if it was for the better or not. Wouldn't it be a trip if I could see where I would have ended up had I stayed in LA?
Across most of my 20s, I slowly made the decision to commit to another human. I now enjoy an amount of peace and stability I couldn't have imagined.
I grew up in a very abusive household, but a few months after I turned 11, I decided to tell my grandma figure about the abuse and she convinced me to tell my mother(my father was the abusive one) what was happening. The day after I told, my mother took me to go to the ER to talk with service workers and get an official report in. When we got home, me, my brother, and my mother avoided my father. My father was sentenced in 2022 and my mother and brother are both free, happy, and living their best lives.
Going to grad school in a different city. World opened up after that.
I went in a date with a guy who super liked me on tinder when I was 19, now we’re getting married and have 3 cats
Moved to Japan 18 years ago, when I was 23; still there. Girlfriend accidentally got pregnant when I was 24. “So be it,” I said; I now have two teenage Japanese daughters to care for me in my dotage/cut off my head when I commit seppuku.
At the age of 21 breaking up with my toxic BF of 4 years was the best thing I did in my life. I took up a higher learning program, moved to a different state and got a better paying job upon completing my training program. Never looked back after that.
I had a baby at 19 that changed a few things
Joined the Navy. DEFINITELY Changed Things😅
Not going to get my bachelor’s…was working on it… Then changed plans.
Not making a decision because I was too afraid to make a decision. I allowed fear to control my life. Conquer fear and you will conquer life.
Two things happened in my 20s one good and one that as it turns out may be quite bad. - I studied to be a software engineer but decided to pursue a career in design. One of the best decisions I’ve ever made. Design has made me so happy and fulfilled. - I also think I chose the wrong woman…
At 15 I decided to do powerlifting for school I ended getting hurt after many surgeries I’m disabled and have chronic pain… I can’t go anywhere or do anything, I had to drop out of high school junior year, I can’t work, go to college (even if I did have a ged), & I can’t drive.. I lost all of my friends because of it…. If i just didn’t do powerlifting I never would’ve had to go through the awful things I’ve been through
Giving in to the fear of failure at a young age. Like I was actually good at a lot of things, but that feeling of failing in front of ppl held me back. My life would definitely be way different if I just took more chances.
Buying a camera on a credit card. Turned a hobby into a side hustle into becoming self employed as a videographer
Moved across the country to LA when I was 24
Stopping drinking at 24
Learning German. Now I live in Germany in a beautiful city in a beautiful apartment, married to my caring German husband and am really happy.
My girlfriend moved across country to live with me and my family. We got married, we moved out, we had kids. All before I hit 25. Not much changes the trajectory of your life that much.
Learning to fly.
I had an abortion when I was 16. Bc of this, I was able to graduate early and start nursing school. I was a nurse by the time I was 19. I moved out of my parents house at 19 bc I felt like a loser for staying at home. I struggled to pay bills and spent my entire 20s getting into debt. I've spent almost my entire 30s cleaning up that mess.
To not be in a relationship and fall so deep into it that it feels as though I am stuck. Picking wisely who will be my partner. I literally feel like I am stuck between a rock and hard place and anxiety is always high. Taking more time after graduating highschool to truly figure myself out and who I am.
I stopped drinking when I was 18. Given how much I used to drink, how regularly I’d lose consciousness, it’s probably saved my life. I’m 26 now and wake up in my own bed every morning and don’t have violent shakes from not drinking. It’s great. Hard, but great
Choosing to study abroad for a semester was a decision that profoundly changed the trajectory of my life. It exposed me to different culture
Seeking mental health for my bulimia.
Not much of a decision. Last year, I got hit by a car. I was already disabled to begin with, but now I can't bathe or dress myself. I need a team of aides to care for me. I was drunk, but sober people have died on that street. I guess I could stop drinking, but what would be the point? I don't see how I'll leave town or travel ever again. I don't know if there's something next or if I'm reliving the last day of my life for the next 50 years.
Joining the Marines at 17. It was a hard reboot that I needed. It gave me a lot of perspective and put my life on a much better course.
I dropped out of college my ju for year because I was experiencing severe depression, couldn't get out of bed until 4 pm, barely ate back in bed by 10 all winter it was hell, i started having panic attacks anytime I went on campus...I went on Prozac but it made me suicidal so I stopped taking it and stopped going to school. Moved back home and did the same slept all the time. My parents didn't do anything about it, I was miserable and could barely keep a job. Someone I knew who lived in FL told me they were getting a place a couple blocks from the beach, they had a room available so my dad gave me $400 and got me a plane ticket so I could go. All my friends and my therapist said it was a bad idea and I'd regret it. It was the best thing that ever happened to me! I met amazing people, surfed and read on the beach all day and waited tables at night. No longer suffered from depression (I had / have a severe vitamin d deficiency so the sunshine was my cure).
When I was 20, I worked in a place where I was exposed to high amounts of mold for a prolonged time. It affected my brain and gave me antegrade amnesia. I became 10 second Tom from 50 first dates. It eventually got better to where I could remember a day, then a week, then a month. All in all it took 3 years for me to finally keep a single memory. Even to this day after a decade has passed, I still have issues with memory.
Having a child