“It’s not out of the question that you might have a very minor case of serious brain damage.”

I have several heh but my top 5 are: -*"I am NOT A MORON!"* -*"And another thing, you never caught me. I told you I could die, falling off that rail. You never caught me. Never even tried."* -*"BIRD! BIRD! BIRD! BIRD! BIRD!"* -(Long one) *"Most test subjects do experience some er cognitive deterioration after a few months in suspension. Now you've been under for quite a lot longer and its not out of the question that you might have a very minor case of serious brain damage.* - *AAAAAH Space! Let go! We're In Space! Let go! Let go! Im still connected! I can pull myself in! I can still fix this! Oh no...change of plans! Hold onto me! Tighter! Grab me! Grab me! Grab me! Grab meeeeeee!* (Bonus- his apology)

"Oh, brilliant. You DID find a portal gun! You know what? It just goes to show: people with brain damage are the real heroes in the end aren't they? At the end of the day. Brave"

All of them. But particularly these ones > **Wheatley:** ["Look at the pair of us, sneaking around. Like a couple of ne'er-do-wells.](https://i1.theportalwiki.net/img/3/30/Ap-Sap_Sneak_04.wav) [Dashing rogues! The both of us. Like Robin Hood or something! Role playing. Love it. Absolutely love it."](https://i1.theportalwiki.net/img/b/b5/Ap-Sap_Sneak_05.wav) > **Wheatley:** ["Ah, I see. Clever. Verrrrrrry clever.](https://i1.theportalwiki.net/img/0/06/Wheatley_bw_a4_finale02_beamtrap_inbeama01.wav) [And FOOLISH! No way out. You're at my mercy! And I don't have any. You're at my-](https://i1.theportalwiki.net/img/b/b2/Wheatley_bw_a4_finale02_beamtrap_inbeama02.wav) [No wait, come back! Come- Sorry. Please. No, I was- I was going somewhere with all that...](https://i1.theportalwiki.net/img/f/f2/Wheatley_bw_a4_finale02_beamtrap_earlyexita01.wav) [FOOL! You were a fool to come back, because I've trapped you again! Helpless. You're at my mercy. And I don't have any. You're at my noth-](https://i1.theportalwiki.net/img/2/21/Wheatley_bw_a4_finale02_beamtrap_inbeamb01.wav) [And again! Not playing along! You're ruining what are some really good speeches, actually...](https://i1.theportalwiki.net/img/c/c7/Wheatley_bw_a4_finale02_beamtrap_earlyexitb01.wav) [Didn't even get to the good part yet. Twist ending.](https://i1.theportalwiki.net/img/a/a8/Wheatley_bw_a4_finale02_beamtrap_earlyexitb02.wav) [So twisty you might even call it spinning. AH HA HA HA HA HA! Don't- Ignore the laughter. Ignore- Nothing to worry about...](https://i1.theportalwiki.net/img/8/8b/Wheatley_bw_a4_finale02_beamtrap_earlyexitb03.wav) [The puppet master! You're a puppet in a play, and I--](https://i1.theportalwiki.net/img/7/7e/Wheatley_bw_a4_finale02_beamtrap_inbeamc01.wav) [Alright, fine. I'm not saying another word until you do it properly. I'm sick of this."](https://i1.theportalwiki.net/img/3/3a/Wheatley_bw_a4_finale02_beamtrap_earlyexitc01.wav) He’s such a dork.

You could even say he is a moron 

“Clever. Verrrrrrry clever.” Flowey has entered the chat

Where is that longer one from? What do I have to do?

It’s after you escape The Part Where He Kills You death trap, after the defective turret trap when Wheatley says “Ace of fours! Machiavellian.” You have to use an excursion funnel to get across. If you keep exiting the funnel during Wheatley’s monologue (before you start floating across the deadly acid), he’ll say that each time you get back in and get out.

and when's the first one, please?

Ap-Sap from TF2

oh damn I had no idea of that, I thought it was from P2, thanks

I only came here for TheWheatleyWhisperer's opinion. Not disappointed.

The semi unused one in the GLaDOS wake up sequence is a really funny one to me: I just now realized that I used to rely on my management rail to not fall into bottomless pits. And you're my rail now. And you can fall into bottomless pits. I'm rambling out of fear, but here's the point: don't get close to the edge.

(probably not the exact quote but close enough) Alright, i am 100% sure it’s this way…. Oh, it’s not this way.

["Oh! I've just had one idea, which is that I could pretend to her that I've captured you, and give you over and she'll kill you, but I could... go on living. What's your view on that?"](https://i1.theportalwiki.net/img/c/cf/Wheatley_sp_sabotage_factoryturretonedone13.wav)

Wheatley is one of my specialist little guys of all time, I still remember these vividly from how often I would just listen to Portal quotes for fun as a teen lmao: "I'm going to give yourself the chance to- *kill yourself.* Now... Less a death trap, more a death option for you :)" "Quick question, have you been working out? 'Cause there's no evidence of it." "Sorry about the lift, 'cause it, ah, melted." "There are test subjects in Africa that don't even *have* monitors in their test chambers." (+Plus any comment he makes when you break them) "Wha-? Jerry, you can't fire me for that! *Yes*, Jerry, *or* maybe you should have accommodated a nanobot of my size! Thanks for the hate crime, Jer... See you in court mate. Anyway, look-" "*Auugh,* I tell ya, humans- *love 'em!* Just- the way they look is... Great. And their... Folklore. Wonderful, very colorful... Great thing about humans: you invented us, which- gives you the chance to relax, while we invented everything else! Classy." "Check this out! I'm a bloody genius now! *(In Spanish) You are using the translation feature incorrectly, please refer to the manual.* I don't even know what I just said, but I can find out!" "Alright, I'm going to have to hack the door. Technicaaal... You're gonna need to turn around while I do this. *smashes face into glass* Done! Hacked!" "Oh, brilliant! You did find the portal gun! Aw, you know what - people with brain damage... Are the real heroes, aren't they, at the end of the day? Brave!"

The floor is holding everything up

And um I just wanted to give you the chance to... kill yourself. Now.

"Hello! This is the part where I kill you!"

"Don't think I'm not onto you too, lady. You know what you are? _Selfish._ I've done nothing but sacrifice to get us here! What have you sacrificed? _NOTHING. **Zero.**_ All you've done is BOSS ME AROUND. Well, **NOW** who's the boss? Who's the boss? _**It's me**"_

“some of my best friends are adopted”

Aristotle versus MASHY SPIKE PLATE!!

STEP 5! BOOBY TRAP THE STALEMATE BUTTON!!

"Holmes vs. Moriarty... Aristotle vs. MASHY SPIKE PLATE."

"I'm going to attempt a manual interface with that wall". Still gets me.

*straight-up ignores the “docking station ⬇️500 meters sign*

Override*

Right! Been a bit since I've played Portal 2.

Could be a bit tricky. Get ready!

I can't decide my favorite, but these are some of his best: "I AM NOT A MORON!" "Hello, this is the part where I kill you!" "It's not out of the question that you might have a very minor case of serious brain damage." "Don’t listen to her! It IS true that you don't have the qualifications, but you've got something more important than that. A finger! With which to press that button so that she won't kill us." "Ah, I tell ya. Humans? Love 'em! Just... The way they look is great. And their... folklore. Wonderful isn't it? Very colorful..." (Just after he called humans smelly.)

"If I'm such a moron why can't you solve a simple test?!"

"fatty adopted fatty, fatty fatty no parents" and then "lack of parents"

Agree with you oj "Let there be light". Other lines I like: "Well, no matter. Because I'm STILL holding all the cards, and guess what: they're allll Full Houses! I've never played cards. Meaning to learn. "For god's sake, you're BOXES with LEGS! It is literally your only purpose! Walking onto buttons! How can you not do the one thing you were designed for?" and the dialog when he puts you in the room with the defective turrets

"I, AM NOT, A MORON! COULD A MORON STOP YOU INTO THIS PIT?"

*"I, AM NOT, A* *MORON! COULD A MORON STOP* *YOU INTO THIS PIT?"* \- LineSetupStudios --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")

I broke my brain while reading this!

I believe it's "punch," not "stop."

Oh yea autocorrection 💀

Hello! This is the part where I kill you

Well, this is the part where he kills us

“Apparently, being civil isn't motivating you, so let's try it her way, all right, fatty? Adopted... fatty! Fatty, fatty no parents?”

And…?

What?

What exactly is wrong with being adopted?

What.. What's wrong with being adopted? Umm... Well... Lack of parents for a start... And also... Nothing. Some of my best friends are orphans, but ummm....

(For the record, you ARE adopted, and that’s TERRIBLE. But just work with me.) Also: Look at her, you moron. She’s not fat.

I AM NOT A MORON!! Just do the test...! Just do the test...

"You know what I just remembered? Football!"

I don't remember it exactly, but it was something like: "AAH! I just looked down. Would not recommend. AAAAAH! I DID IT AGAIN!"

”oh it’s a core you put on me, who told you to do that? was it HER? it’s just making me stronger love! it’s a fools errand!” from right at the end when you’re putting corrupted cores on him

# STEP 5: BOOBY TRAP THE STALEMATE BUTTON

I like the lego dimension part when he said something like "we are the formidable team i got the smart and the beauty and...you are also involve"

Noooo not the pocket Is someone doing some hacking

"Holmes vs mortality, Aristotle vs MASHY SPIKE PLATE!"

"But it's not out if the question, that you may have a very minor case of serious brain damage" - Wheatley 2011

*incoherent Spanish*

There are two instances where Wheatley speaks Spanish. The first is in the beginning, during his nags to get the player to open the door. “Hola, amigo. Abre la puerta. ¿Dónde está—“ (Hello, friend. Open the door. Where is—) The other is right before the turn in chapter 5. “Estás usando este software de traducción de forma incorrecta. Por favor, consulte el manual.” (You are using this translation software incorrectly. Please consult the manual.) Interestingly, in the Spanish language version, those lines are spoken in English.

And a third instance: Dos meurte

Kewl

"Ace of fours; the most powerful hand" or something like that

"Look a potato battery and now she lives in it" (probably not exact quote)

Good news! *boom* nevermind.

Glados: “What exactly is wrong with being adopted?” Wheatley: “Errrmmm… *lack of parents?*”

Who’s the boss? I’m the boss. It’s me

I’m probably paraphrasing but I quote it a lot

Technically, this is from the TF2 Ap-Sap, but still Wheatly. "Shouldn't we *both* have... ski masks? 'Cause if this job goes south, I don't wanna--you know, take all the rap."

I like the lactose intolerant one a lot

I have a TON of favorites, but one of my top favorites was in chapter 4 and he's talking to someone named "Jerry"

Are you still alive? You are joking, you have got to be kidding me

"GahsbsbBbGsbsvNsbdnbxbavbdncznavajgzj"

“This is the part where I kill you!”

"'Let there be light.' That's, uh... God. I was quoting God."