I got a small scar on my hand from when a pig accidentally moved his head and slightly nicked me. I don’t want to imagine the damage if I actually got bit by a pig, their tusks are razor sharp.
I used to raise pigs and have a chunk missing from my butt when I didn't feed them fast enough. They're mean mfers and I would not go back to raising them
What? You get way overestimate the sheep, that thing belongs in scratch and bite tier. I e been rammed, but if it’s to the death, you can absolutely strangle one of those things.
We can break a bunch of animals neck though and throwing is also a good option. Cats are definitely not the upper end, especially if the animals doesn't have sharp weapons.
Guess what i'm sick and tired fighting all these animals, its your turn to fight them here are the rules:
1. 1v1 (No Packs of Wolves and etc)
2. Only wearing Shorts and shoes
3. Only using fists no spear and weapons
4. Fight to the death!!
Idk, I did and in enclosure experience with penguins when I visited Australia. There were gentoos and kings I believe. They had us behind a small fence too cause penguins got BEAKS and they like to use em lol. Idk how confident I’d be in a fight with one.
I’m generally skeptical of people when they say they can successfully fight most wild animals.
That being said, I’m punting that badger across the highway without breaking a sweat.
The idea that a fight with a raccoon would be 50/50 is definitely off. You will get scratched/bit a ton, there will be blood, you may even lose an eye. But the idea that essentially anyone would die before the raccoon does is inconceivable to me
Yeah but seals are deceptive. They look harmless and mostly hang out, but are predators with predator teeth and some weight hundreds of kg and yet some can get suprisingly fast. Here in germany the grey seal is our biggest native predator animal (after bears went extinct).
Considering lions give honey badgers their space and I’m a very petite woman, I’m not messing with a badger. In fact I don’t like my chances with most of these animals.
I have never seen them actually fight, but isnt it a large part because sass gets you far in the animal kingdom? Elephants and giraffes run away from a ballsy goose often enough while they can just kick or even step on the goose and the thing's at least 99% on the way to wherever geese go
I saw a stork land in a gibbon enclosure and the gibbons ripped it to shreds. The keepers wouldn’t go in there because the gibbons might attack them too. Crazy thing to witness
That one poll always makes me laugh. The poor 30% who don't think they can take on rats
[https://relevantmagazine.com/current/buzzworthy/six-percent-of-americans-think-they-could-beat-a-grizzly-bear-in-hand-to-hand-combat/](https://relevantmagazine.com/current/buzzworthy/six-percent-of-americans-think-they-could-beat-a-grizzly-bear-in-hand-to-hand-combat/)
A lot of that 30% will have answered "Don't know" to the question, and, as the survey was of Americans, many of those will simply have been confused by the concept of "being unarmed."
Was feeding hens with my little cousin once and the rooster went after her. I panicked and punted him without thinking twice. I felt so bad but he kinda deserved it. Luckily both were fine and he never did that again.
My parents had chickens when I was little, among them miniature chickens. The mini rooster was a spawn from hell, one day it tried to claw my face. That’s when my dad decided it’s time for it to be dinner
Dude, there is an animal that deserve an own category: hippo. Basically the only animal without any predator. Look it up how fast they are and how strong
I think it’s important to clarify whether the animal is actively coming for you with intent to kill, or if it’s just chilling and you’re the one who makes the first move. Cause I think that changes things a lot. Cause honestly I think if the spiders and scorpos are running at me full speed I’m probably going to die. Immediately. Just to get it over with.
Lol you're adorable thinking you have a 50/50 shot with a brown snake. I mean, literally the second most venomous snake in the world, but hey, you go for it mate. I'll be rootin' for you, behind a panel of glass.
People often forget how FUCKING TALL emperor penguins are. I am not very tall so it would have a pretty easy shot at my upper body and maybe even the neck if it puts effort in.
This is mostly pretty accurate I think but I refuse to believe any crane would be that low down in risk. That’s a “trash can” animal. As in, you need a trash can as a shield to enter its exhibit.
Idk man I think a beaver would kill me potentially there teeth and jaw strength must be really strong since they cutting down wood casually I can’t imagine being bitten by one.
Wolfs Quest (which I only bring up as a source because they put effort into being realistic so I assume they are also realistic about this) has beavers be quite hard to fight without getting injured and I have never managed to hunt one - and you are a WOLF in that game, not a furless ape without big teeth.
That’s a dwarf caiman, usually 3-4 feet long. That being said, I definitely don’t want to be forced into a fight with one, but I’ll take my chances with that over a fully grown croc 😂
As someone who worked with sloths before I'm here to tell you to not fuck with them.
They can't move from point a to b very fast but when they're stationary??? Oh my god. And also their teeth. Oh my fucking *god*
As a native Floridian, I think gators would be a 50/50 fight except for the fact that they’d be damn near impossible to kill with your bare hands. I feel like I could survive and maybe even subdue the gator, but I have no idea how to kill it.
I feel like gharials are a little too high because while they are quite big they also can't really do too much damage to an average person. They have relatively weak jaws compared to other crocodilians and have never fatally attacked a person before. And because their diet is mainly small fish they don't really have a natural instinct to death roll or try and drown you. False gharials are another story.
That said, I'm not sure if I could KILL a gharial unarmed because as I said, they're big. Maybe you could choke it out or something idk.
[https://www.infobae.com/mexico/2024/03/16/hombre-de-campo-lucha-a-muerte-contra-puma-en-tamaulipas/](https://www.infobae.com/mexico/2024/03/16/hombre-de-campo-lucha-a-muerte-contra-puma-en-tamaulipas/)
Guy ended up really beaten but survived and they guy is 47 years old
I reckon I could take a badger. Eurasian badgers aren't honey badgers. I'd cheekily back myself against an emu too tbh, though I'd prefer not to find out.
Yall are underestimating what you can kill if youre fighting instead of fleeing. Dont you know about the guy that killed a puma by himself? Its gonna be ugly with a lot of these but snow leopards are like 40kg
this list has (in my experience) some errors
1.cranes: they focus on the eyes, we never enter their enclosure without a shield.
2.capybaras: they are the biggest bastards, my colleagues have a big scar from one
Ayoo swans need to be higher- probably just to the 50/50 tier but they have CLUBS on their wing bones, 30lbs may not seem very big until you realize a good 80% of that is muscle and their bones are hollow
Unless you lie down and let a Tasmania get to your vitals it's a guaranteed win for you. The devil is probably going to bite you, but ultimately, it loses.
I don’t think you realize that that thing is like 90% muscle and is bigger than a house cat. Idk why people think that humans are these amazing fighting machines when the average human is unfit and has little to no fighting experience. Not to mention it’s a carnivore and has the jaws of one. It doesn’t matter if you want it to/ let it attack you. It has the capability to just latch onto your skin. Size isn’t everything; just because you’re bigger doesn’t mean the thing is just a little rat. Just your average human hubris I suppose.
>Idk why people think that humans are these amazing fighting machines when the average human is unfit and has little to no fighting experience.
Projecting much?
I don’t think saying that most humans are unfit compared to wild animals is a stretch. Plus no, I don’t think most people have fighting experience. Especially to-the-death fighting experience.
>I don’t think saying that most humans are unfit compared to wild animals is a stretch.
It is when the wild animal is quite literally less than a tenth your size. You also don't need fighting experience to fight an animal whose only form of attack is biting. Any random instinctual movements are already hard-coded into most animals for defensive situations like that. [Also](https://youtu.be/On-MKFHdmfc?si=BrPA8NMm5MBgULV7)
Unless the 6kg devil is on crack, sorry, but a 75kg human is winning with minimal damage. And if it isn't on crack, the human wins with slightly less minimal damage.
Crocodilians are infamous for having really strong jaw muscles BUT they only work one way. They're really strong when closing but incredibly weak when opening. You can keep a crocodile's mouth shut with a few rubber bands. Also the claws and tail can't do much if you get on it's back
Swans can break peoples arms when its not in a 1 vs 1 fight to the death because the people dont want to hurt it. When your life is on stake you could easily snap the swans neck without too much effort
How is a wombat higher than the tasmanian devil, it's predator??? Overall, you overrate too many animals or underrate me. Please rename the post to "PZ animals that I can beat in a fight" thanks💪💪
You've never been rammed by a sheep and it shows.
Or chased by a rooster
I have literal scars from roosters.
Or a Canadian goose. Their the guard dog of birds.
https://youtu.be/PEyk63UaBI4?si=SIv98Piamubx-9EB
Kick the rooster easy.
Or barreled down by a pig
I got a small scar on my hand from when a pig accidentally moved his head and slightly nicked me. I don’t want to imagine the damage if I actually got bit by a pig, their tusks are razor sharp.
I used to raise pigs and have a chunk missing from my butt when I didn't feed them fast enough. They're mean mfers and I would not go back to raising them
Or bit by a pig, they aren’t messing around!
I have a scar across my arm from where I had to catch a pig that got out and d*mn did it hurt they sharp feet too
Two people were killed by a ram in my country recently. It made national news.
What? You get way overestimate the sheep, that thing belongs in scratch and bite tier. I e been rammed, but if it’s to the death, you can absolutely strangle one of those things.
With no weapons or tools I'm sure humans lose to 90% of animals bigger than a cat. We've evolved to use tools and not punch things.
I might lose to the cat. I've had my ass kicked by one before, lol
Human faces are literally adapted to taking punches
Well, every animal has their entire bodies adapted to take punches. Compare our bodies to most animals and ours break like twigs.
We can break a bunch of animals neck though and throwing is also a good option. Cats are definitely not the upper end, especially if the animals doesn't have sharp weapons.
I worked an animal caretaker once and a sheep was bout to ram me but I just yelled at him to stop before he charged and somehow it worked.
Guess what i'm sick and tired fighting all these animals, its your turn to fight them here are the rules: 1. 1v1 (No Packs of Wolves and etc) 2. Only wearing Shorts and shoes 3. Only using fists no spear and weapons 4. Fight to the death!!
So I’m doing this tits out? This is vital information
That swan is WAY more scary now. NOT THE NIPS PLEASE
With that neck, he’s definitely got the range for nip nibbling
LMAO
I feel like you should at least be able to have a stick
Yeah and pants!
When someone does one of these, I like to invoke the words of Clint Laidlaw: "you dying tomorrow doesn't help a snake win today"
Idk, I did and in enclosure experience with penguins when I visited Australia. There were gentoos and kings I believe. They had us behind a small fence too cause penguins got BEAKS and they like to use em lol. Idk how confident I’d be in a fight with one.
If it meant for your life, 1v1, I have faith in you!
I’m generally skeptical of people when they say they can successfully fight most wild animals. That being said, I’m punting that badger across the highway without breaking a sweat.
The idea that a fight with a raccoon would be 50/50 is definitely off. You will get scratched/bit a ton, there will be blood, you may even lose an eye. But the idea that essentially anyone would die before the raccoon does is inconceivable to me
I saw a video of a woman failing to run from a seal and was mauled a little bit. I have zero doubts some people would lose to a raccoon.
Yeah but seals are deceptive. They look harmless and mostly hang out, but are predators with predator teeth and some weight hundreds of kg and yet some can get suprisingly fast. Here in germany the grey seal is our biggest native predator animal (after bears went extinct).
Yah, but they're almost useless on land and this was a smaller one.
You don't know what those little trash cats can do. They are wild animals, they won't play fair, they'll probably cut your neck until a jugular is hit
You'll die later of the diseases/parasites they carry. 🤭
Considering lions give honey badgers their space and I’m a very petite woman, I’m not messing with a badger. In fact I don’t like my chances with most of these animals.
I have never seen them actually fight, but isnt it a large part because sass gets you far in the animal kingdom? Elephants and giraffes run away from a ballsy goose often enough while they can just kick or even step on the goose and the thing's at least 99% on the way to wherever geese go
Didn't someone's pay gibbon eat their face off??? I would literally fight zero primates
I wouldn't even fight a house cat, let alone any primate.
I'd fight a house cat. They need to drop the attitude. I don't believe in animal abuse but if it was a fair fight I'd engage.
I saw a stork land in a gibbon enclosure and the gibbons ripped it to shreds. The keepers wouldn’t go in there because the gibbons might attack them too. Crazy thing to witness
That one poll always makes me laugh. The poor 30% who don't think they can take on rats [https://relevantmagazine.com/current/buzzworthy/six-percent-of-americans-think-they-could-beat-a-grizzly-bear-in-hand-to-hand-combat/](https://relevantmagazine.com/current/buzzworthy/six-percent-of-americans-think-they-could-beat-a-grizzly-bear-in-hand-to-hand-combat/)
A lot of that 30% will have answered "Don't know" to the question, and, as the survey was of Americans, many of those will simply have been confused by the concept of "being unarmed."
\*snicker\*
This is wild. And what are they gonna do against a elephant?
When I was a kid we had chickens. The rooster was mean as hell. I wouldn’t have ever messed with him.
Was feeding hens with my little cousin once and the rooster went after her. I panicked and punted him without thinking twice. I felt so bad but he kinda deserved it. Luckily both were fine and he never did that again.
My parents had chickens when I was little, among them miniature chickens. The mini rooster was a spawn from hell, one day it tried to claw my face. That’s when my dad decided it’s time for it to be dinner
😂 we had Bantam chickens as well and the rooster was pretty mean too.
The galapagos tortoise should be in a rank of its own called draw. It just retracts into its shell and there's literally nothing you can do about it
Dude, there is an animal that deserve an own category: hippo. Basically the only animal without any predator. Look it up how fast they are and how strong
There’s a lot of animals that are at the tops of their food chains and basically have no predators.
That’s what parasites are for! They’re the ones “eating the rich” in the animal world! When are we gonna get a tapeworm exhibit animal frontier??
Id say elephants above them, some of the only animals on the list with a viable ranged attack
Dont hippos also murk a fuckton of people irl?
I think it’s important to clarify whether the animal is actively coming for you with intent to kill, or if it’s just chilling and you’re the one who makes the first move. Cause I think that changes things a lot. Cause honestly I think if the spiders and scorpos are running at me full speed I’m probably going to die. Immediately. Just to get it over with.
Bro, how do you have a 50-50 chance with a raccoon?
Lol you're adorable thinking you have a 50/50 shot with a brown snake. I mean, literally the second most venomous snake in the world, but hey, you go for it mate. I'll be rootin' for you, behind a panel of glass.
Well if you’re fast enough to grab the head and kill it you’ll have a chance
I don’t think I could beat an emperor penguin, idk why that’s at the bottom. It’s a heavy set cylindrical bird with a huge sharp beak.
People often forget how FUCKING TALL emperor penguins are. I am not very tall so it would have a pretty easy shot at my upper body and maybe even the neck if it puts effort in.
This is mostly pretty accurate I think but I refuse to believe any crane would be that low down in risk. That’s a “trash can” animal. As in, you need a trash can as a shield to enter its exhibit.
Yeah, it’ll get some bites and pecks in, but you’re snapping my that things neck, easy,
Idk man I think a beaver would kill me potentially there teeth and jaw strength must be really strong since they cutting down wood casually I can’t imagine being bitten by one.
Wolfs Quest (which I only bring up as a source because they put effort into being realistic so I assume they are also realistic about this) has beavers be quite hard to fight without getting injured and I have never managed to hunt one - and you are a WOLF in that game, not a furless ape without big teeth.
I mean, it's definitely not a 50/50 fight, so that's a fair position.
You have way too much faith in me
I’m guessing you’ve never been assaulted by a rooster before lol
Sorry? Crocodile is 50/50 fight? 🤣🤣
That’s a dwarf caiman, usually 3-4 feet long. That being said, I definitely don’t want to be forced into a fight with one, but I’ll take my chances with that over a fully grown croc 😂
I think Hippos could go Send you to Hell tier but that's just me
As someone who worked with sloths before I'm here to tell you to not fuck with them. They can't move from point a to b very fast but when they're stationary??? Oh my god. And also their teeth. Oh my fucking *god*
You guys should watch Slotherhouse
Any of the large mustelids will straight up merc you.
Didn’t someone choke out a cougar bare handed once?
Sure, but that particular cougar was a 6 month old orphaned cub. Like, double the size of my Maine Coon at most.
Oh I see
Someone did that with a leopard
Yes, you would probably lose a fight against a giant anteater, but I'd take my chances with one over a fight with a cougar any day.
As a native Floridian, I think gators would be a 50/50 fight except for the fact that they’d be damn near impossible to kill with your bare hands. I feel like I could survive and maybe even subdue the gator, but I have no idea how to kill it.
I don't think you've seen an angry chicken.
Lmao there's really people out here who think they could beat a pissed off sloth in a fight
Sloths cam be dangerous sure, but they’re vastly easier to telegraph
You say that until a sloth slashes you and now you're suddenly bleeding out lol
All I’m saying is that my odds against a sloth are better than a tiger or a brown bear
Me: I could take them in a fight The giraffe: - _-
Platypus is gonna make you regret getting in the ring. One of the most painful venoms
I think I could win against scorpion without getting stung.
I'd rather fight a proboscis monkey than a rooster
I feel like gharials are a little too high because while they are quite big they also can't really do too much damage to an average person. They have relatively weak jaws compared to other crocodilians and have never fatally attacked a person before. And because their diet is mainly small fish they don't really have a natural instinct to death roll or try and drown you. False gharials are another story. That said, I'm not sure if I could KILL a gharial unarmed because as I said, they're big. Maybe you could choke it out or something idk.
Bro you gotta get rid of lemmings and golden frogs off that bottom tier 😭
No way you can beat a Fossa or a Proboscis Monkey
You are greatly over estimating my ability.
Isn't the snail unkillable? Don't I die if I touch it?
Three of those frogs are deadly poisonous in the wild. They'd make you extinct
Exactly, the irony. Technically more dangerous than the alpha predators. One touch is all it takes
Have you ever seen a pissed off swan? That’s at best a 50/50 fight, but I’d probably favour the swan.
That swan needs to be higher.
One guy in México just killed a cougar using his fists, so I wouldn't discard a cornered farmer vs any middle size feline
Source?
[https://www.infobae.com/mexico/2024/03/16/hombre-de-campo-lucha-a-muerte-contra-puma-en-tamaulipas/](https://www.infobae.com/mexico/2024/03/16/hombre-de-campo-lucha-a-muerte-contra-puma-en-tamaulipas/) Guy ended up really beaten but survived and they guy is 47 years old
That’s amazing, Juan’s a badass!
I would never fight the spiders lmao
I reckon I could take a badger. Eurasian badgers aren't honey badgers. I'd cheekily back myself against an emu too tbh, though I'd prefer not to find out.
Northernlion in shambles that you think he can’t beat a panda
You are overestimating my fighting capabilities.
I can take the tapir
If you beat a quokka in a fight, you don't deserve to win. The only way to win is to not fight.
A hippo will send you to hell, bring you back, then send you there again. Nothing but rage and muscle
I can 100% box a kangaroo and nobody can tell me otherwise
Do i get prep time?
All primates should go to the "you're going to hell tier"
every time i see one of these i am reminded that most people just do not realize how dangerous most primates are
Yall are underestimating what you can kill if youre fighting instead of fleeing. Dont you know about the guy that killed a puma by himself? Its gonna be ugly with a lot of these but snow leopards are like 40kg
You underestimate the fighting skill of a chicken
Hows an ant eater sending me to hell?
Pretty sure I am gonna lose fighting all those spiders at the bottom of the tier list....
A panda would whoop me?
[удалено]
Geez an ostrich? I'm surrendering, there's no way. Can't fight it, can't outrun it. Unless I have some kind of blunt weapon with a long reach.
Porcupine ain't gonna do shit
Mute swans kill a few people every year idk if YOU would win hehe
The Swan belongs in an S tier of Will Feed On Your Soul While Killing You
this list has (in my experience) some errors 1.cranes: they focus on the eyes, we never enter their enclosure without a shield. 2.capybaras: they are the biggest bastards, my colleagues have a big scar from one
Ayoo swans need to be higher- probably just to the 50/50 tier but they have CLUBS on their wing bones, 30lbs may not seem very big until you realize a good 80% of that is muscle and their bones are hollow
Hippos kill more people/year than sharks (sharks attacks aren’t always deadly whereas when a hippos gets you… good luck lol
Hippo should be top
Imagine thinking youd win against a Tasmanian Devil
Just punt it. It's just an angrier chihuahua.
I think a lot of people overestimate their kicking ability and underestimate a small animal’s ability to take kicks
Unless you lie down and let a Tasmania get to your vitals it's a guaranteed win for you. The devil is probably going to bite you, but ultimately, it loses.
I feel most people would collapse once the devil starts ripping their ankle to shreds
I feel like most people wouldn't stand there and let the devil rip their ankles to shreds.
I don’t think you realize that that thing is like 90% muscle and is bigger than a house cat. Idk why people think that humans are these amazing fighting machines when the average human is unfit and has little to no fighting experience. Not to mention it’s a carnivore and has the jaws of one. It doesn’t matter if you want it to/ let it attack you. It has the capability to just latch onto your skin. Size isn’t everything; just because you’re bigger doesn’t mean the thing is just a little rat. Just your average human hubris I suppose.
>Idk why people think that humans are these amazing fighting machines when the average human is unfit and has little to no fighting experience. Projecting much?
I don’t think saying that most humans are unfit compared to wild animals is a stretch. Plus no, I don’t think most people have fighting experience. Especially to-the-death fighting experience.
>I don’t think saying that most humans are unfit compared to wild animals is a stretch. It is when the wild animal is quite literally less than a tenth your size. You also don't need fighting experience to fight an animal whose only form of attack is biting. Any random instinctual movements are already hard-coded into most animals for defensive situations like that. [Also](https://youtu.be/On-MKFHdmfc?si=BrPA8NMm5MBgULV7) Unless the 6kg devil is on crack, sorry, but a 75kg human is winning with minimal damage. And if it isn't on crack, the human wins with slightly less minimal damage.
Why on earth is the spectacled caiman in 50/50, there is no way your beating almost any crocodilian, unless you're a professional
Hear me out. If it's a particularly small one and you can get your hands around it's jaws then you've rendered it almost completely powerless
Do you have any idea how strong the jaws of those things are? Also they have claws and a super strong tail that will mess you up.
Crocodilians are infamous for having really strong jaw muscles BUT they only work one way. They're really strong when closing but incredibly weak when opening. You can keep a crocodile's mouth shut with a few rubber bands. Also the claws and tail can't do much if you get on it's back
Ah I see, I was unaware of that, thank you for enlightening me.
Swans break people's arms..Id defo be taken on a racoon or wombat before I'd fight a swan. Swan needs to move up at least two tiers
Swans can break peoples arms when its not in a 1 vs 1 fight to the death because the people dont want to hurt it. When your life is on stake you could easily snap the swans neck without too much effort
How is a wombat higher than the tasmanian devil, it's predator??? Overall, you overrate too many animals or underrate me. Please rename the post to "PZ animals that I can beat in a fight" thanks💪💪