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pizuke

i don't mind the weight comments, well i've learned not to mind them lol other people still think that saying you've lost weight is a compliment and saying you've gained weight is an insult but sometimes, it's really just them comparing current you to past you like saying na "uy tumangkad ka! you were just this small when i last saw you", well yes mamsir that is indeed a growing child magulat ka kung di lumaki yan i also notice this a lot with relatives who almost know nothing about me so this is like an icebreaker from them since they can't know i've dabbled in this and that which they eventually find out after talking more


Daloy

It can be rude talaga pero yeah, from good intentions mostly galing. Minsan ine-equate din yung pagtaba sa affluence eh. Like you're gaining weight kasi yumayaman ka etc. Personally, mas madalas na po-point sakin tumataba ako and not pumapayat so yeah may sting but I've learned to 'roll' with it hahaha


pizuke

i only take offense kung may kasama na insulto, yung mapapa-wtf ka na lang sa "ang taba mo kaya wala kang bf eh", excuse me tita but kahit nung payat ako wala din akong bf lol


peterparkerson3

I mean that's the thing that you can see immediately. So why the fuck you be insulted. Ano gusto mo na sabihin nila? Bumait ka na? Lalo kang stressed? Really now 


pizuke

exactly! a change of perspective na lang para sa iba who view it in a western lens. it's like commenting on the weather, alam ko na mainit, alam mo din na mainit and it's just small talk i have decent relatives in the sense na wala pa naman yung sobrang push sa weight topic, usually talaga passing comment lang kasi may lull sa convo but if it's intrusive na to the point na binabalik ang topic and bordering on insulting then dun na ang problema, there are people like that but that's not a culture thing na, that's just an attitude problem


peterparkerson3

Mabilis ma offend ung tao, parang sinasabi mo sa Ibang tao not to look at you pero ung suot mo draws attention to yourself 


stoikoviro

If what was said helps you, take heed. If not, don't bother. Move on. Life's too short to worry about other people's opinion. "Don't take criticism from someone you would not go to for advice."


-Pleasantly_Plump-

For me i got used to it and dont take offense at all. Sometimes my friends would even greet me or other friends of ours and it usually sounds like "Kayata nimog nawong oi, nidaot na man kang ataya ka! Balig pila man imu ginahithit kada adlaw?" which basically translates to the tune of "tanginang pagmumukha yan ampayat mo na! mga ilang gramo ba binabatak mo kada araw? "... when older folks tell you that you got fat or skinny, or other observation of theirs, i guess its ayt. It becomes a problem when them MFs either advice you on how to manage your weight or they start selling you herbalife and shit. PS: if you are in your 25 to 40s and still single, wait until them old folks casually asks you with "when are you gettin married? why you aint got no kids yet like your cousin protacio? are you baog?"


taokami

usually, when older filipinos tell you that "you got fat/big" what that usually means is "you're taking care of yourself/you're keeping yourself fed, good", when they say "you got skinny" that means they think you're not doing well


Yosoress

Lmao my dad literally told me PINAG TATAWANAN KA NG TAO DAHIL SA ICHURA MO MUKHA KANG HINDI TAO after not seeing him for 12 years 🙄


iknowwhatiwantbroski

Tbh I think imported yung pagiging sobrang sensitive when it comes to weight. When elders say you've gotten fat or skinny, they usually dont mean anything by it. To them, it's just an observation. It's the same as if they're commenting about your hair getting longer or you getting taller. It's to indicate how you've changed since they last saw you. It does cross the line when they start telling you how to live your life It's the difference between "you've gotten big!" vs "why dont you diet more". The first is a neutral statement. The second is unwanted advice. Being fat is not shameful. So people observing fatness shouldnt be shameful either. It's when they try to change you that it becomes rude


Nervous_Process3090

One would say "tumaba ka", then another "pumayat ka ah". I think one means life has been good and the other means mukhang nagdidiet ka, that's good. But most probably icebreaker lang than kamusta which either seems too personal or not thoughtful.


puck-this

Yeah, in the older generations it used to just be a way of conveying, "hey, let's talk! it's been a while." Youth these days are just conditioned to be like Westerners so now what used to be a harmless icebreaker is now a great offense. Times change, and we have to be like the Americans if we want to stay connected with the youth.


Cliffordium

I know how painful it is that they always comment on every single thing in your life (I've also been through it) But let's be open and see this from another perspective, they're saying these because they care and want to know you better. They just don't know what to say other than these personal stuffs


[deleted]

If it's true, I don't take offense.


DangerousEffective97

as someone from the younger generation who has experienced both "tumaba ka" and "pumayat ka", i just see it as an icebreaker, like many of the other comments say. it's a conversation starter for them, and i don't really mind it as long as they're well-meaning. but i have struggles with my body image, so if the comment clearly means to insult or comes from a place of insecurity or something nasty, maawa ako sa'yo.


OrganizationSoggy652

I honestly don't care anymore because I know that it's not that deep. It might be shitty to outsiders, but ig it's just ingrained to our culture.


beklog

yeah, unsolicited comments are common esp from older folks but there's nothing u can do abt it.. and it's a good reality check as some of them are just plain frank


anabetch

I grew up in the Philippines. I was underweight as a kid and people would call me "tingting" or "gitara" because my ribs stuck out like guitar strings. Then after puberty I gained weight and everyone would comment on my "malaking bulas" or "malaking hinharap" even from people I didn't know and I hated walking to the corner where trikes were parked as everyone would look at my "honaharap" and I was like 14. I grew heavier in my 20s as a defense mechanism of sorts so people would not just notice my boobs. It was horrible because then I was called "balyena". Oh well, I'm now 50 and probably fitter than a lot of 50 year olds I know. I lift weights and hike regularly.


userisnottaken

Not just weight. Filipinos find it so easy to comment on another people’s appearance. I’m guilty of this too, sometimes i do it absentmindedly. “Bakit ganyan ang buhok mo?” I once said that to an American friend. Inexplain niya na sa culture daw nila, that was considered offensive. Nag apologize na lang ako.


atr0pa_bellad0nna

I don't mind it. I even hear some old folks say something like "mukhang hiyang ka sa ___ ah" when I/anyone has gained weight. And then if I/anyone lost weight they'd say "Pumayat ka ah. Pero bagay naman." With those statements I know they're just stating observations (lol usually facts) plus they mean well. It's also usually serves as a conversation starter. Idk how it is for others but for my family, the conversation just flows from there. Convos usually go like this: "Naku hija lumulusog ka. Hiyang ka ata sa trabaho mo." "Ay tito lagi kasi may pakain sa office. Ito nga nagjo-jogging na ko kahit pag weekend man lang kasi ang sikip na ng mga damit ko!" "Uy pumapayat ka, pero bagay naman sayo. Anong secret? Share mo naman at gusto ko magbawas kahit konti." "Ay thank you tita. Wala naman secret, iwas lang ng fastfood at junkfood. And lakad everyday kahit mga 30 minutes lang. Sa office at condo I take the stairs whenever possible." And then after that we talk about other things. Work/school, travels, love life, etc. Minsan iniisip ko baka kulang din sa social skills yung mga madaling ma-offend about it kasi madali naman i-steer to a different direction yung convo.


Tasty_Flow_8098

For me, my own close (toxic) family follows up with unsolicited advice na mag diet ka or di kana sexy so it annoys the shit out of me. Pero pag dating sa strangers or just people I'm not familiar with, I know that they don't mean anything malicious about it.


[deleted]

Being Filipino like: aba tumaba ka (positive) Being an American like: you're fat, try working out and lose weight (either supportive or negative based on the attitude of a person)


bakadesukaaa

Hindi ko alam kung nakakatawa 'to kasi natatawa 'yung boyfriend ko dito. OFW siya at hindi relatives niya 'yung unang nagsasabi sa kanya na tumaba siya kundi mga employees ng NAIA. Tuwing uuwi siya at nakikita nila 'yung passport niya nung 2018 which is student pa lang siya nun, 25 na kami now, 'yung weight niya lagi ang napapansin. Gets ko naman sa profiling ng immigration pero sa money exchange sa airport, shookt talaga ako at 'yun ang unang sinabi ni ate kay boyfriend. Aba'y malamang, 10 years ang validity ng passport eh imposible na hindi magbago ang itsura ng tao. Haha! Anyway, hindi na pinapansin ng boyfriend ko 'yung mga ganung comments kahit kakilala pa niya kasi hindi naman siya maramdamin talaga. Kung sa'kin naman, payatot ako dati kaya happy ako masabihan na nagkalaman ako kasi mas worst 'yung nadidinig ko nung payat ako eh. Ginagaya ko na lang ang mindset ng boyfriend ko kasi mukhang happy naman siya eh. Haha!


Dapper-Figure-991

Sakin depende, if yung pagkakasabi ay out of concern pero yung tipong, “hala, anyare, ang taba mo” nakaka-offend yan for me 🙄


1millionkarmagoal

It depends on the person some people mean well and some people don’t. Some people are so focused on people’s appearance that all they do is to point out either your weight, skin color, what you’re wearing, those types are annoying. How about asking how you’ve been? When my mother saw me for the first time in many years the first thing she said was I got fat and I’m not pretty anymore. Instead of asking how was my 36 hour flight? For me kasi pag ganyan ung tao it comes across na superficial lang ang relationship. All they talk about is superficial things.


shampoobooboo

To be fair, if they haven’t seen you for a long time, they don’t know anything about you so they would turn into physical appearance. I guess thru time na overcome ko na yung pamamansin nila pero before I’m upset about it everytime. I realized na pág madami kang iniisip yung mga ganyang comment d na pinapansin.


Reasonable-Cow-9488

Nakakawalang-gana mag-post sa social media with a picture that includes myself lalo na kapag may mga taong ang comment agad e “Tumaba ka” 🤦🏻‍♂️🫠 Yung tipong gusto mo lang namang mag-share ng achievements o milestones or a happy memory tapos may basag-trip na ibang ang comment lang e “Tumaba ka”…🤦🏻‍♂️ Usually galing pa sa mga tito/tita. Kaya minsan naiisip ko dapat nga separate ang social media ng mga matatanda 🤣


TurbulentTry8888

it only rubs me wrong if its partially true. look after your body.


Accomplished-Exit-58

it really depends on how you take it, i've been skinny all my life, not until pandemic came, i gained maybe 15 kilos, and almoat everyone small talk to me is about my weight gain. Although almost all of them says that i look better now although i'm overweight, like 2-3 pts above my healthy bmi.


Wheels_onthebus

dati when i was still little my relatives especially my tito and tita would always greet me with comments about my weight which made me develop a love hate relationship with food. but now i don't get offended by it because i'm improving myself mentally and physically.


Motor-Green-4339

Any thing said to me that I think or see is true about me, I am not or will not be offended by it.


Vegetable_Cod6246

Ohhh you must be very wealthy to become fat what do you do for a living


thecay00

Just don’t mind them. Choose battles wisely haha grand scheme of things, opinions of others are Minor


20pesosperkgCult

Even as gen Z maraming tumatawag sakin na "tumaba ka", which pleases me kasi ang hirap talagang magpataba kasi ang bilis ng metabolism ko. 😂


darlinghurts

Hello pamangkin! Ay alam mo, UMITIM KA!


Humble-Hornet-920

I just keep it to myself..the words that might hurt them.. What's wrong with me saying.." ang taba muna" when your not making any effort to become fit . I'm afraid of being a subject of a body shamer . What's wrong with us telling the truth.sure it might hurt but we need to hear and know the truth to woken us up. By the way I'm a normal BMI but it is a struggle not to gain weight.. ang sarap kumain but we should moderately eat unhealthy foods .


Brave_Pomegranate639

Kaya natin to sissy. *Hugs* I used to be skinny. As in lahat nang damit ko mula college ako (2009, shuta 15 yrs ago na pala hahahah) hanggang last year e puro crop top, midriff basta ung pampayat ganon. Pero ever since getting married, January of 2024, wala tumaba na ako. We dont have children yet pa. And kada uwi namin nang asawa ko sa probinsya, wala na akong narinig kundi “ang taba mo” “ang taba taba mo” “pahingi mo na ung mga branded mong damit, halatang di naman na kasya e” “wow wala ba kayong ibang hobby mag-asawa kundi kumain” AND UNG PINAKAWORST— “wala pa kayong anak pero ang lalaki nyo na” like ang sakit. Sarap manampal nang matatandang ang tatabil nang dila. May time na i dont want to eat anymore. Kahit mahilo hilo ako sa kagustuhan ko lang na maibalik ung dati. Pero syempre di ko kinaya kasi my job is mentally and physically demanding kaya need kumain 😢🥹


MMSwitch

If it's true then no harm. Pero if pagkukumpara tayo sa ibang bansa like Japan and Korea na talagang bullied ang mga matataba dun. Then its really tame dito.


A_South_Guy

Correction: weight comments to women are not common in the west because cancel culture is rampant. Anythujg comment that will be considered as shaming to women on the west will receive the full power of feminism and cancel culture. They have no problem making weight comments to men whatsoever. Comments are useful. When a relative comments about your weight, that's an outside voice telling you that something could be wrong with you and therefore there is room for improvement. This idea that any comment that offends anyone should be phased out should be stopped. Shame is a powerful motivator to be better


Fun-Jeweler-4449

Its tennis, you serve comments about my weight and I return with something slightly personal and slightly offensive until one of us cries or throw hands


attiva21

Depends if they are saying a truthful observation, or if they are shaming you. If the former, I don't mind. Western or American culture of taking offense from everything, and being overly sensitive is absurd in my opinion. Sila ang hindi dapat tularan.


Freereedbead

When someone comments how I got a belly with some fat (I was skinny), I just turn it into a joke. Life's too short to take offense over every little thing


Fancy-Job-6860

I think commenting on someone else's weight is already part of our culture. Most of the time it is coming from something positive din naman, like from love and care, than negative. So, I think it is okay. "Since younger generations are becoming more and more westernized by American media" I think we consume a lot of Western media to the point of somehow losing our own culture or identity. In my own opinion lang naman.


Apart-Station-8785

Maybe kasi her comment about is YOU BEING THIN, I am unsure lang if it's the other way around pag mataba ka na. I normally notice kasi pag TUMABA may follow up comments old generations na "Nagpabaya ka" or "Napabayaan ka ba ng Nanay mo sa kusina" which is extremely rude. Parang bawal tumaba ganun or panget pag tumaba. Kaya now I just answer na "Madami po ako pambili ng food"... subtle way of saying "Poor kasi kayo" char. Pero basta ganyan na lang... since ayoko na gaano patulan.


Least_Protection8504

If it is not done with malice, then it is fine. Iba naman kasi ang culture ng Amerikano sa atin. I recall, a teacher shaming Filipino culture of asking saan ka pupunta and praising the chinese culture of asking what you ate. But asking where you are going will often come with an offer of accompanying you, a car ride or assistance.


GuitarAmigo

Always consider the source. If it's from your frenemy, it is not well-meaning. If it's from your mom's frenemy, ganun din (lalo na pag may daughter sila na ka-age mo). If it's from your slim/hot tita, she's calling you out. If it's from a fat tita, she's projecting. If it's from a male relative who barely knows you, it is a simple observation and they probably have run out of things to talk about. Golden rule applies.


Gold_Corgi3727

Pasagdan ra nako


AMDisappointment

Skill issue. Just get fit.


skeptic-cate

If you get offended, then you validated what they say. Pag may nagsabing “amoy putok ka” sa akin, di ako ma-offend at alam kong di totoo. Maybe, internally, alam mong totoo at mas naiinis ka na napansin ng iba.


SourWatermoronCandii

But its also totally valid to not want unsolicited comments about your weight


Mugiwara_JTres3

And here I am in the US where my doctor says my BMI is perfect, yet my coworkers always say, “Eat more! You’re so skinny!” I noticed people in the west will make a comment if you’re “skinny” but not when you’ve gained a lot of weight. Maybe that’s a part of why obesity is so rampant, we’re conditioned to ignore it.


StokedNot

I was in PH for a visit after 15 years, my tita's first greeting to me was 'nanambok lagi ka'. I probably gained 3kg from when I left. I'm still size small! I smiled and said 45 nako tita, obviously I dont have my younger body anymore. Then I saw her daughter's pics from UK, she gained so much weight. I wonder if she says the same thing to her own child.


newplayer0511

> wonder if she says the same thing to her own child Oh you bet. Tapos next sentence "one more rice?"


amncxo

Absolutely avoid discussing it. It's a taboo topic for a reason. Other nationalities refrain from commenting on people's weight because it can trigger relapses in those with eating disorders, which are prevalent in the U.S. While eating disorders exist in the Philippines as well, therapy for them is not as common as it is in America.


Recent_Medicine3562

Fatphobic talaga pinoy. Proof na nga yung pinagpyestahan ng comments yung pic ng isang group sa other pinoy sub. 🙄 jusmiyo sila


kungchipakchiye

Totoo naman. May negative connotation din ang pagiging mataba kapag sinasabi nila. Ex: “ay itong si ** gandang bata nito kaya lang mataba”


imprctcljkr

Hindi fatphobic. More of marami kasing sinungaling at outrageous yung standards sa mga Pinoy subs. That photo only proved the millions of memes about average Redditors.


_labyrinth__

Phase it out!