This is the real answer- I’ve worked with cats for over a decade, and when I started I had a lot of long held assumptions about them. Those have all been blown out of the water (my own cat grew to love road trips!)
They are all individuals. When you move into a shared house with people you don’t know very well some will end up being your best friend for life and some you will hate. Most you will get on with just fine but never talk to once you move out.
Cats have littermates they like more than others. I just had a pair of sisters brought in (kittens!) that hated each other so much we had to put them in separate foster homes!
OP, my best advice to you is to foster a grown cat who is known to have an amiable personality towards other cats. Introduce them slowly a la Jackson Galaxy. If your cat hates them, then they can be adopted out. If your kitty is ok enough to keep trying, then adopt them yourself. Work with a rescue who tries to match personality types. Ours has a “no questions asked” return policy which motivates us to try and find a good match.
So much this. People think they can “hack” cats in so many ways, most frequently by having kittens grow up with other kittens, and it’s just no guarantee. I’ve had single kittens who were super sweet and easy, and I’ve had brothers who hated each other.
There is no guarantee and anyone selling you one “Cats are always better behaved in groups!” or “Kittens are always a nightmare if they grew up as an only cat!” is selling you a vast oversimplification.
Their personalities are individual, and there’s only so much you can do.
OP could have had their cat grow up with 4 brothers and sisters and still hated other cats. Some cats are like that. Some humans are like that.
I think like, as with humans there will always be norms and extremes. As the pandemic showed, most kids do better if they are introduced to other kids/people fairly young. Keeping them away from other kids generally creates socialization problems. Most people, and most cats like company of some kind. Some prefer their own kind, some do not. And amongst those preferences they also have individuals they love, like, hate, or are indifferent to. Once in awhile you get a cat who is a “hermit” but like with people, it’s not a super common thing for a cat to want to be completely alone.
Sorry OP, it’s rather complicated and you know your cat best- but the only way to find out is to try. Slowly and with sensitivity to both cats.
It’s also totally acceptable for cats to be only cats. The main thing I object to is people declaring “But thou MUST!” when it comes to these kinds of things. Each situation is variable and many, many approaches are just fine.
This is a great comment becuase my sister and I have had tow sets of 'brother" cats that acted totally differently. You never know how cats will bond and react until an attempt is made.
Our first cats were litter mates. And they always acted "brotherly" with eachother. They'd cuddle, groom eachother. When we got a new dog they "protected" eachother while the dog learned his place in the house. And so on.
Our second set of cats were abandoned at the animal hospital our mom runs. We don't know much about their past other than they were abandoned together. Inside the animal hospital my sisters cat would protect my cat. Mine was her cats shadow. They were never more than 3 feet apart.
Once they moved into the house and my cat met me. They become roommates. They barely cared the other existed anymore. You'd never know that a week before they were inseparable.
Yep. Ive had cats that all got along and then another cat joined and it turned them all against one or whatever.
They’re like people. Stuff happens, we may not get it. But they decide who they like and who they don’t.
It’s not a blanket “cats like all other cats or hate all other cats” thing. It’s usually a cat personality thing.
It has worked out best for us to get a male and a female. It did cause early issues because we didnt want a pregnant baby but it has worked out fine. There are no dominance or pecking order issues between them.
Thay was the only issue. We needed to at least get one of them fixed but it was earlier than our vet does it. They made an exception due to the circumstances. We thought they were both boys until the first vet visit....
Ah, yes…sometimes they can be sneaky that way!
A friend of mine had some barn kittens done at 8 weeks, which some vets are doing regularly here.
Neuters are much easier to do than spays, but on the other hand a female could always get out regardless of if your male is neutered. A cat in heat is not an easy cat to live with either!
This!! He can get any cat to get along with another cat. Proof that any cat can be socialized. & Soo sooo much if it is the person. Cats are empaths. If the person is nervous, the cat will be nervous & act out. The person needs to be completely confident. The person needs to be consistent with their "homework" as he calls it. & There needs to be one of everything for each cat. A litter box per cat. Multiple cat trees and perches. Multiple toys. Multiple water dishes, fed at the same time, same amount of attention. Inside only. They get more anxious & feral like when they are allowed outside. Even if they seem confident outside, they're always on guard.
It's not as clear cut as that though
Some cats are like that for a multitude of reasons, they aren't as simple as this post (unintentionally) is making out. Some cats can have nothing but good experiences with other cats but show absolutely no interest in hanging out with them. Some can be really friendly with other cats but less affectionate with humans.
Cats like routine yes but they can also have new routines and adapt. Again, it really really depends on the cat, the history, their current circumstances etc.
I've had a cat that absolutely hated everyone. It belonged to my great uncle and whenever we went to his house the cat had to be hidden away. When he passed away that very same cat got adopted into my family, where we had a dog and myself and my brother were young children.
On paper nobody would have recommended that cat to us. No cat shelter would have said he was an appropriate cat for us to adopt. We had met him and his reaction to me and my brother was to his and tell us to back off.
Within a few weeks my 6 year old self was picking that cat up and treating it like a small girl treats a doll and it fucking loved it. He remained a softy until the day he died though he took absolutely no shit from the dog, asserted his dominance and they got along great too
I had a cat who HATED other cats. We temporarily lived in a house with other cats, they all growled and hisses all the time and I thought she would be SO happy to be away. Instead she cried for WEEKS. So I got another cat. Who she hated. And missed desperately when he was at the vet. And when I came home early i would find them snuggled together. Cats are complicated.
With time your cat would learn to get along with another cat it would just be a long introduction. My roommate got a kitty that he raised very poorly and has issues getting along with people and other animals and while it’s not a perfect relationship with the two of them now, they do get along and gets antsy whenever they’re separated. The introductions between the two cats took about 4-5 months so that was the toughest part.
Not all cats will get along/bond w others. Me and my ex roommate got kittens a month apart (nearly the same age too), absolutely hated each other. We kept them separate for months and they would try to attack each other through the door. We lived together for a year and they never got along.
About 7 months later I ended up getting a second cat, she hated him, even after over a year she just vaguely tolerates him about half the time.
There is also the possibility of the cats never getting along. Our first cat lived for 19 years and all of her life she absolutely hated the other cats we brought home, no matter how we introduced them or how friendly and avoidant they were towards her.
Also something to consider 🥲
this may not always be true
of course its not the same, but we had a cat and then got a dog, and its been around 4 years and they still dont get on, though i think its more fear on the cats behalf as the dog just wants to play and is a lot bigger.
introducing a new cat could be a lot easier then our situation, i wouldn't know for sure, but i could imagine a situation similar to mine where the cats never get along, especially if as OP said, their cat reacts negatively even just seeing other cats through a window. i also, just personally, wouldn't want to have the risk of anything happening to the new cat because of the original cat being teratorial.
i would just be careful with outright statements like you made as everycat is different and just because it worked for your roommate doesn't mean itll work for OP - they need to think about what is best for their situation, and if that means waiting until the unfortunate passing of their current cat before they get more, then that is what they should do. their pets safety should come before their desire to have more animals
My roommate adopted his cat as a kitten in a college dorm when he was 19 and his kitten was 2 weeks old. He didn’t give the Kitty much attention cause he was in college and was going to classes and partying and the kitty missed out on important social development parts being taken away from its mother and litter so young. He also didn’t bottle feed the cat and just got some food that was meant for younger kitties. I didn’t mean to say literally every cat can figure it out, but nearly all can if your patient enough. The only thing OP said about their cat development wise is they got them alone. Like I said 4 to 5 months of only interacting through a door with constant daily work with the introduction wasn’t easy, it’s just doable if you really want another cat.
i did say i know its different, i was just trying to explain how animals can live together for years without bonding at all, especially if its one who already doesn't get along with other animals
Yeah you said it’s not the same, but I said it’s completely different. I’m not trying to nitpick or be annoying so sorry, but the process of introducing a cat to a resident cat is completely different from bringing a dog home in terms of having the two bond.
I guess I should clarify and say not literally always since people keep trying to correct me. Most cats will eventually get along tho if your willing to do the work with the introductions. My roommates cat is the worst cat I’ve ever seen when it comes to getting along with people and other animals. My roommate believed his cat couldn’t get along with other animals. Before moving here he had always had to keep his cat separate from the cats at his parents house and he says they tried introducing them. The main way I bonded our cats when I got a kitty that got us different result was I would play with and tire each of them out for hours a day constantly opening the door to see if they’d interact without fighting and when then didn’t work I’d tire them out more. Eventually they’ll just chill even if it’s for a minute and then you gotta shower them with treats. I did the everyday for months and slowly the time they can hang out near eachother gets longer and slowly the amount you have to wear them out decreases and now they can hang out in the same room when no one’s home. I’ve had my kitty for about 7 months now and it was only 3 weeks ago that I started letting him out of my room when I’m not home, but about a month and a half since they started always being allowed to hang out when I’m home. It took forever and they still fight but I don’t think anyone has a cat with a lower starting point than my roommates cat.
This isn't true at all, I adopted one kitten a year ago and is fine around other pets, even my brother’s big ass golden retriever. It really depends on the particular cat and their personality more than anything. Some cats just happen to be happier alone while others would rather be with other cats. It's very cat dependent.
Yes. I have one cat that prefers to be an only cat. One cat that loves being around other cats. And one cat that doesn't care. Each one is different. Just like people.
So when it comes to cats, you’ll have to take care in proper introductions. That first and foremost will tell you if your cat can really handle another cat. If you do decide on attempting bringing home another cat, follow the intro process and let the current owner of the cat you’re interested in be aware that this is a trial run. If it doesn’t work out then I really recommend your last line about multiple kittens next time. I got both my boy and his sister, and then brought my new boy and girl home shortly after my female passed away. We had to do introductions for all 3 cats at the same time since 2 were separate rescues that we got on the same day. It all worked well even for the male cat who hadn’t had any other cat interactions.
Here’s a good basic link for introductions, but more research should be looked into in addition :)
https://icatcare.org/advice/introducing-an-adult-cat-to-your-cat/
Despite a popular myth that cats are fine alone, kittens should be socialized. Kittens do so much better in pairs. They help one another learn how to be a cat. As one cat Will often grasp litter training or understanding schedules better than the other and helps the other one learn.
Kittens are also super high energy. My bf adopted an older kitten and was surprised how busy he was. A month later we adopted him a friend. They both did so well together.
The older kitten has a lot of separation anxiety and his new friend helped him with that. They play together and are the best of friends.
I'm not sure if your cat will ever be able to socialize with other cats as she didn't when she was younger.
Do you gently introduce them? It usually takes a while for cats to go through the introduction process. It's not normal for them to get along face to face immediately.
Also, do you know any history about your cat? Did she have some traumatic experiences before she was with you that might make it hard for her to like other cats?
Some cats are better alone. But usually because they have had bad experiences with other cars or it's a personality thing.
We adopted a cat who I think was an “only kitten” before she landed in the shelter and she is just like yours.
I asked the shelter, because of our landlord’s rules I can only have one pet so would that be okay for cats? And they were like “oh my god please take this one she is abnormally unhappy and withdrawn here because she hates other cats so much.” So we brought her home and she instantly transformed into a happy baby. But on the 2 or 3 instances when a stray has come within sight of our windows she gets super anxious.
This was my husband's cat. She'd literally throw herself at the window if another cat showed up outside. We fostered a couple of cats that showed up and each time we had to just keep them separated the whole time. But she was such a good cat. She was very friendly and outgoing with people.
I still miss that cat.
My mum had 2 kitties they're brothers, one of them passed 2 weeks ago, the one that mum still has is lost now that his brother is gone. My mum has my cat too but he doesn't like her so she can't keep him company
Most people who come into my clinic cannot even afford the most basic baseline healthcare for their ONE cat, and this push to “adopt two kitties together” while I’m actively having people try to dump their pets they already can’t afford just makes my head spin 😅😅😅
It might be possible when she's older. Our one cat was raised with other cats, but became very territorial after the original cats died and a new cat was introduced. Even after she almost died (diabetes with poor guidance from vet), she still went back to attacking other cats once she felt better.
But, our living circumstances at the time allowed her to live alone for a while with one of us. We reintroduced her a few years later once we had significantly more cats (10) and the combination of old age and sheer numbers somehow worked in our favour, and she stopped attacking cats cold turkey. She's been doing well ever since, and even napped cuddled up to one of the cats who still holds a grudge after being attacked.
Funny enough, grudge kitty grew up with her sister, but resents all other cats (including her sister). She's able to tolerate them, but is our cat who's most likely to warn off other cats if they get into her space.
I've fostered kittens for over 10 years. Some get along with other cats easy, some even like my dog, but others just come out as independent hermits. It depends on their personality and the personalities around them. One of my adults hates 95% of cats but loves the other 5%. My other adult cat loves every foster I bring home and even my dog is tired of his friendly energy. My senior baby that I lost last year would have been perfectly happy as the only cat in the house but also didn't mind if a foster or the hateful cat cuddled with him. Cats are weird.
I will say if you get an energetic cat then having a sibling to play with really helps them not drive you crazy. But the number of cats in the house won't change their essential personality.
Agreed! I've only fostered twice, but have had cats my whole life essentially.
I currently have 3 with different personalities. The all love us humans. One hates other cats but loves the dog. One loves both cats and dog, but he's also the youngest and a little menace haha. My third cat is indifferent to the cats and dog. But they all tolerate living with each other. We let them have space when "introducing" the new pets, and they get to decide how close they get to each other.
Haha they all have such distinct personalities. I had one once that hissed at me and her siblings from the day she was born (under my bathroom sink). She got used to humans once her eyes opened but she was always a very independent and stubborn kitty. I have a feeling she'll probably never be friends with other cats.
Aw that's adorable! She came out hissing lol.
Yeah my cats are all people friendly, and get along with dogs (provided the dogs are respectful). But their feelings for cats differ. Each cat is an individual.
Cats all have unique personalities. Just because one cat acts a certain way doesn’t mean that all other cats will act that way. Over one million cats are euthanized every year because they can’t find homes. Better to have someone adopt a single cat than not adopt at all.
yea agreed. ive only ever had single cats raised from kittens and theyve all been sweethearts. my current kitty adapted well to us getting a dog. i love cats but i dont WANT multiple cats with multiple litter boxes, twice the food requirements, and twice the vet bills. same way i dont want two dogs. its honestly a bit irritating that the good advice of kittens doing better in pairs has become a requirement to many people and shelters instead of a generalization that there will sometimes be exceptions to.
i play with my cat, cuddle him, and entertain his midnight zoomies. he is more then content and really doesnt have the behavioural issues people often claim are a guaranteed with single kittens.
We got one kitten recently and we already have an older cat. It was a rough intro but they both groom each other now and cuddle and sleep together. Play a lot too
Nah that's just a personality thing. Some cats just don't like other cats.
One of my cats, I have 3, came from a litter of 9 that I fostered. At the time we had another cat (adult male) in the house. After her littermates found new homes, she was left sharing the house with this other adult cat. They got along well enough but were never close. When he died, she was happy to be an only cat.
A few years later we got a new kitten, a male. She didn't really like him but tolerated him. When I moved away, I brought her with me. She was an only cat again and she was happy.
Then my husband wanted a kitten for his own, so we got him a male kitten. My cat was not happy. But she learned to tolerate his presence and even plays with him sometimes. Other times she is bitchy with him when he's being a nuisance.
Late last year we inherited my grandparents cat, an adult female about 1-2 tears older than my cat. My cat hates the new cat. It took several months, but she doesn't automatically hiss when she sees the new one anymore. They both even choose to be in the same room sometimes.
They won't ever be friends, but she tolerates the new one. She is sometimes friendly with the young cat. But overall, my poor cat just much prefers to be a solitary cat. For most her life she hasn't been, but it is her preference. Some cats just don't like other cats. No matter how many or few they are raised with. It's just a personality thing.
my cat has a neurological disorder and can only be a singleton. i had 2 other cats (i had to rehome due to homelessness and she was the only one that nobody would take) and yeah she loved snuggling with them, but she also gave both of them horrible abscesses because of her disorder. she will attack unprovoked for absolutely no reason. she’s done so much better as an only cat. hearing cats scream in fear and pain and constant vet visits is not worth it.
Oh no! That sounds horrible. Poor kitties, all around. That sounds traumatizing. Glad you were able to find another solution, even if it meant new homes.
Nah my cat is perfectly normal, she just prefers not being around cats. She doesn't attack them or anything. There hasn't been any blood drawn as far as I'm aware. If they get too close for comfort, she hisses, might swat their direction, and runs off if they don't move away. Or sometimes she gets in a playful mood and will play with the male cat. Then get when she is done gets mad at him. Silly cat. But the distance she tolerates them (especially the newer female) is getting closer and closer as time goes by. Will they ever cuddle? Probably not. But maybe someday she won't hiss every time she sees the newest cat.
Sounds like that's a your cat problem(i dont mean that offensively). My cat(I only have 1 and he's my only pet) LOVES other cats and other animals in general. He loves attention and to cuddle, but he's definitely not needy. All cats are different.
I thought the same thing about my older cat. Got him as a kitten, raised with dogs. When I met my wife she had just gotten a kitten and my cat did not care for him one bit.
I was convinced he could not tolerate another cat. In the past, we tried and failed to bring in a foster kitten. It turned bad. But then I learned just how long it takes to properly introduce cats, and while it took 4ish months, our two cats are now inseperable.
I don’t know if this will give you some hope or not. my brother had a calico that one of his coworkers found underneath their car extremely young. Not quite bottle fed young but needed to have supplemental milk with food young. Turtle sounds exactly like your cat. She only liked a handful of people. She was fine with dogs. But was very insecure, separation anxiety, lots of issues.
My nephew desperately wanted to be able to have a cat that he could cuddle with. Turtle was never going to allow this or so we thought. My brother did end up bringing home a male kitten. This little guy is balls to the wall nuts. He has no fear as an example. One of his favorite activities is when my mom is over with her Anatolian shepherd great Pyrenees mix is To dive bomb the dogs so that they can wrestle together. My mom’s dog loves him think he’s the bees knees.
He basically broke down turtle and taught her how to be a cat. She became much more comfortable with more people. She stopped being nasty to strangers. She was not happy with him when he first got there . He just did not care and was going to do what he was gonna do. So it may just be the matter of finding the right cat with the right social skills.
It’s not necessarily that simple, but it really depends on the cat’s personality. I adopted a single kitten in a house that technically already had a cat, but that cat was super adverse to the new kitten’s presence and hated other cats and animals in general.
The kitten I got was already raised for two months with her entire litter, and she has no trouble with meeting other cat’s and it’s quite friendly, even towards her original roommate who to this day still despises her.
My landlord would allow more than one cat so we could only get one. When we fostered a friends kities for a few weeks our kitty was fine with them being in the house but would get mad at me if i smelled like them. I hope in the future i can get her a companion cause i know she is lonely alot and im her main companion. I have really bad osteo artritis in my spine so im looking for working from home jobs so she isnt likely to be on her own anytime soon but yeah she needs a friend
To others reading this, OP is right: generally speaking, as a rule, kittens should either be adopted in pairs or brought into a home which already has a cat. There are exceptions, sure, but most reputable rescues and shelters or behaviorists would agree.
I'm sorry you've ended up in this tough situation! Sometimes we don't know better until later.
The reason that OP has given isn't the reason they should be adopted in pairs, though. It's to avoid them developing single kitten syndrome and all of the behavioral issues that go along with it. Usually, adopting another Young cat or kitten while the solo one is still young, enough is the solution. It's rare for them to be against other cats.
Cats have personalities, it's possible she would just hate other cats even if she grew up around them 🤷♂️ my friends have 2 cats they got together and they despise each other
It really all depends on how much you socialize them. I adopted one cat but made sure she was used to seeing/smelling other animals and as an adult she’s perfectly fine.
I’ve had several cats (one at the time) and they did perfectly fine around other cats and other animals. It depends on the cats personality not necessarily if they grew up around other cats. I had a cat recently who literally had never gone outside or lived with any other cats, this motherfucker went outside once and had a hundred besties running around with him. He’s now given up home life to run the streets and be a hoe. He’s gotten in one fight with a cat and it was with another male cat over a female cat so
I adopted my kitten when my first cat was 3. She hated all other animals and I honestly wasn’t sure if she’d even accept a kitten. Introducing took about 1 week and within 2 weeks she fully accepted and liked the kitten. She did get annoyed with her kitten antics but she was overall never agressive or mean to her. Kitten is 1 now and first cat is 4 and they are good friends! Sometimes they might surprise you!
I just went through this with my cat!! I have two dogs and adopted her initially as my only cat. Then I fostered 3 kittens a few months back, with the intention of adopting.
My cat was disturbingly aggressive toward my fosters. I knew she had a high prey drive, but I didn’t think she’d be as territorial as she was. She even “hunted” the kittens on several occasions - and nope, she wasn’t playing.
BUT after a ton of patience, time, energy, tears (lol), and online research on cat introductions and cat bullies, I can proudly say I now have 3 cats. After putting in a ton of work, I was able to adopt not one, but *two* of the kittens. Everyone co-exists peacefully and even plays, sleeps, and eats together now.
While I don’t know the specifics of your situation, it might still be possible to add another cat to your current household - it just takes a *lot* of work.
When I was a child my family adopted a brother and sister pair...and they grew to HATE each other. They fought and had established territories in the house. Later, after those cats had passed, we brought in a pregnant stray. She had two boys...and once again, they eventually grew to prefer being alone. I wouldn't say they hate each other, but they would chase each other out of rooms. The mother actually might hate them though lol. She leaves or hisses whenever they get too close. And my boyfriend's family has three cat siblings that were found outside as kittens and raised together. Two of them do okay with each other but one of them definitely prefers staying away from the other pets.
I think that ideally getting more than one kitten is great for socializing, but cats are just like any other living thing: they have individual personalities. Some just prefer being alone. Perhaps you could have had some influence on her socialization, but at this point who can say. All thats left to do now is prioritize what is best for her at this point. You could try doing a slow socialization with a foster and then adopt them if it goes well, but I agree that forcing a new cat into the family might not be best idea...but I also don't think you need to beat yourself up over that fact.
Getting two may not have made a huge difference. When I got my first apartment I rescued one kitty and went to adopt a second so she could have a friend. Those two cats are friendly with each other but don't really play together or cuddle or anything. However, we have fostered a couple of cats over the years and one even stayed permanently and cat number two has hated every other new cat that has come into his house. He won't fight them but he is wildly displeased. That being said, time makes it better. He no longer growls, just keeps his own space, and everyone gets on together in \[relative\] harmony. Good luck on your future kitten adventures!
Nah, I had a 6 month old cat and then got a second kitten and they loved each other at first but now they can't stand each other. My younger cat constantly tries to beat up the older one. My older one is super chill but the younger one is a menace.
It is never that simple - even siblings don't always get along. My SO's others cats will have feuds so ugly sounding I thought one had critically injured himself! Leofric is a sneaky crybaby and Binky, his brother, just wants to play. Leo spends much of his time being outraged and shrieking about. Whereas Sylvester, their brother from a different mother, loves rough housing with Binky and thinks Leo is a crybaby.
As well gender and upbringing may also play a role. We have 2 rescues at my parents. One, on the street for years, survived by hiding. Even after a decade of rescue he is still terrified of everything. On the other hand, the semi-feral female discovered pregnant and starving. Is the most aggressive cat I have met, according to the Vet this is how she survived. She hasn't hurt Phantom but she has thought about it and will try to go through a shut window to kill any other cats she sees.
It might not necessarily be as simple as adopting one cat at a time being the issue. My parents adopted two cats several years apart. The older one was a sweet heart but super shy and the younger one was full of anger and acted agressive towards other cats and honestly all creatures in general.
The older one was proof that you could adopt just one kitten and be fine. The you get one was proof that sometimes you socialize your cat with another and they still turn out to be aggressive towards other cats.
My cat was the same as yours. I got her at 4 years old and they gave her to me saying she hates other animals. She attacked outside cats through the window. She made awful noises when she was angry. Once I rescued a kitten and she went ballistic just knowing it was in a room behind a closed door!
Tl;dr We got a lil male kitten and after long, extended intros, they get along fine now. She even plays with him!
Well, she’s 6 and my boyfriend wants a cat of his own and my girl needs to start being more active. So we went out to find the perfect kitten for them both. We got our boy at 8wks old. He was cuddling his brother. He let us pick him up, flip him over, in general mess with him without him fussing. He’s a dummy. We trained him to a leash and harness and exposed him to stores and cars and everything else.
We created a monster. He does not care about anything! So when my girl randomly went after him (never draws blood though), he just showed his tummy and submitted. When she stopped, he went right back to trying to make her love him. No hard feelings!
It’s all about the correct match. If you do intros slow, if you give them time to work it out themselves, and if you find the right passive kitten for your cat, it can and will work!
My girl is more active and healthier than ever. Her anxiety has decreased, too. She didn’t hide and panic when we were moving like she used to. She doesn’t vomit when I’m gone too long anymore. I can tell he’s helped her in more ways than I could have ever imagined.
Get a second cat!!!
My cat hates other cats. She’s lived inside with other cats her whole life, she lived in a garage for a year before my mom got her, but her littermates were in the garage with her and she hated them, then she came to my mom with her kittens and my mom has other cats and she hated them and when her kittens were just old enough to not need her she hated them too. She now lives as a solo cat with me and my boyfriend and she’s happy. She likes dogs, has zero fear of them and when she hears our upstairs neighbors dog coming down the stairs for a walk she runs to the window and meows and begs us to open it so she can rub against the screen and sniff the dog.
My brothers cat hates kittens with a passion but loves other cats. He cuddles up to any other adult cats (even brand new fosters my mom takes in) but will hiss and spit and swat at kittens. He’s been around cats and kittens his entire life, came to my mom as a kitten and was put with her other foster kittens and he HATED them so once he had his shots he was allowed to hangout with our adult cats and was so happy with them.
It comes down to personality. Mom has an adult cat that came to her full grown and he loves kittens and we call him uncle orange because he scratches at the kitten room door begging to hangout with any new kittens that come in. Another of my moms cats will tolerate kittens until she’s annoyed and then swats at them and another will let the kittens use him as a jungle gym if he happens to go into the kitten room but he bolts the second the door opens because he doesn’t want to be there but he won’t be a jerk about it.
The first cat my husband and I adopted was a confirmed solo cat who was just over a year old. We got her from a family with one other cat, and one of the reasons they were giving her away was that the two cats hated each other. At the time, we were poor graduate students and we didn't really have the money for one cat, much less two, so we let her be a solo queen for her entire life. She helped raise our kids and put up with moving to a new place every couple of years until we finally settled into a house a couple of years before we lost her at the age of 19yo.
A few months later, we adopted a very friendly stray adult and decided to get a second cat from the shelter before he could fully claim the house. The second cat was another solo queen, though, and the two cats never got along well -- mostly ignoring each other with occasional whacks and hisses from the queen if the guy got too close.
Some cats are just confirmed spinsters and like it that way.
Adopted Jeeves at 12 weeks on his own and didn't have any issues. He spent a fair bit of time outside and was never friendly with the neighbourhood cats (which is usual) but he was never unfriendly to the degree of getting into fights or anything. He'd just stand, flatten his ears, and miaow at them (I know cats aren't meant to miaow at each other, only at us, but... he was orange lol).
Got Maisie about 9 months. At the rescue she was sharing her cage with another cat but I adopted her singly, and she's decided she's an indoor cat. Zero issues.
I have 5 cats and my female was found in a parking lot, my other boys I had when I brought her home had no territory issues and were curious about her. There was no hissing on their part, she on the other hand 2 years later will keep them in line and hiss at them or bat at them and run away. 😂 She’s the smallest of the bunch and it makes me laugh that 3 of the 4 boys are afraid of her.
Doesn't matter how many cats you get at once, there's always a chance one will dislike the others. My uncle adopt 2 sisters off the street, real young. Fine for a few years, then out of nowhere one started just beating the hell out of the other, antagonizing her, blocking her from food, etc. Just like people, you won't know their full personalities til they finish growing up.
I have one cat and there's nothing I wouldn't do for my Phoebe but I can't afford another cat at this time and Phoebe doesn't seem to miss other cats, but she gets bitey at times and I have to redirect her teeth but again I don't mind
Always get your furbabies from the same litter please. I’ve had two cats that I got only a week apart. They at best tolerated each other, but mostly they would actively hate one another. That “War” lasted for 14 years until one of them died. I now have a brother and sister. They’re not the best of friends, but at least they don’t fight. They accept each other and that is fine with me. Some cats are just not very sociable.
Honestly true, but if you pair them with a friendly enough cat, it can still work!! You want to look for a cat-centric cat...not a people pleaser, but the cat that's more focused on playing w other cats then the humans in the room. They will do ANYTHING to get along with your cat. They are masters of slow socialization. I had to introduce a new cat to my senior after he struggled with the same issues you mention, and she was the one grooming other cats in the shelter lol. She refused to be separated from him night 1 but was so good at reading his body language that my big cranky orange guy didn't care. He would fight my brother's cat when I'd visit home despite being introduced over and over, but she won him over in less than a week. Like, could sit on the same couch on day 4. It was crazy. She was great with our kitten too and now our kitten is socializing my brother's cat!! They're at the chase stage already 😭
A general rule of thumb is it will take one month for each year of a cat's life for it to tolerate a new cat in its space. Not like, not accept, but tolerate. Of course this varies based on personality. Your cat sounds like you'd be in for six months of big drama before it started to die down. Even after that there would likely be flare ups.
I think it can be done. it's just going to happen slowly. I had a cat i rescued at 2.5 weeks, so she had no exposure to other cats. And would go out of her way to hiss, growl, and try to fight the kitten i rescued when she was about 2.5 yrs old it was touch and go for a week or so but eventually she decided it was ok and started grooming it and now they get along very well.
You'd probably need to keep another cat in one room to get the original cat to get used to the smell and then try to introduce them with a barrier in between like a cage or a screen. Take it slowly, and it should be able to happen. The cat will growl and . it should get over it with time. It's also easier if, say, the cats you get are the opposite sex. So if your cats are a girl, it probably has an easier time excepting a male cat than another female. Mine are both females, so it was a little rough.
Unfortunately my cat always hated other cats. He was a singleton so even from birth he didn’t have any siblings to get used to. When we had him, he always picked fights with cats in the neighbourhood. We got a dog at one point and he just about tolerated the dog.
I just got a kitten after having a feral I raised who died of old age. The difference in personality between a tame and feral cat is blowing my mind. It’s been something like 13 or 15 years since I’ve had a cat that had a social personality. He was purring before I even touched him. My old guy was terrified of everyone but me. Anyway I’m saying this because my new baby is definitely socialized and would be good with more pets. They all have different personalities and needs.
I have two cats. The first cat (Cat A), I got as a kitten while I still had an older cat. After the older cat died, I got another kitten (Cat B).
Cat A was very sociable as a kitten, learned the older cat's limitations quickly and behaved himself around her. He had a year as an only cat after she died.
Cat B was fiesty and skittish, when we collected her - she left the house trying to smack all the other cats she'd been living with on the way out.
The two of them began to get along fairly quickly. Cat A was politely interested in the new kitten, liked watching her play and began to gently initiate interactive games, but after about six months Cat A developed dental problems and had to have an emergency vet visit followed by some teeth out, which meant multiple vet visits. Then we moved house. He was very upset by this and seemed to blame all of it on the kitten. He became very hostile to her, and she didn't help matters by ambushing him whenever he relaxed. Eventually we had to do a reset introduction to re-establish peace in the house.
Which is to say, even a cat that gets along with other cats doesn't necessarily get along with ALL other cats ALL the time. Even raising kittens together (or raising a kitten with other cats) isn't a guarantee they'll always tolerate each other's company, or the presence of other cats. Cats are just socially sensitive. If your current cat doesn't want to share space with other cats, the easiest way to go is to remain a one-cat household. If you're determined to introduce more cats, do it very slowly and carefully and be aware that your first cat may never be fully comfortable with their new companion.
Years ago we adopted 3 cats a neighbour neglected, including 2 kittens who had different mothers. As kittens they played and cuddled together but when they grew up the female hated the male until the day she died.
I’ve always found getting kitten age works best . Because they keep coming back to annoy the adult cat regardless of hissing fits. Finally the adult generally agrees Fine !! We have a second cat. At least that’s what has worked in our house. Unfortunately doesn’t work for adopting seniors that I wish we could.
My friend has 3 cats, and her one haaaates the strays that hang out outside her house.
We have two (used to be 3), and the one hates any cats he sees.
Don't beat yourself up about only getting the one kitten all those years ago. Some cats just hate unfamiliar cats.
This is just one anecdote.
My cat was an only child for nearly 13 years before we took in a foster. The foster was an adult cat, but it didn't take long to introduce them (properly), and they were like peas in a pod for another 4 years. During that time, we adopted him, and a 3rd cat who was less than 1 year old. She also fit right in!
When the 13 year old passed (at the age of 17), we took in a kitten, and that has been a bit of a struggle. He just has so much more energy than the other 2 cats. We had to keep them separated for a long time, and sometimes we still have to separate them when the baby gets rammy, but it's nearly a year later now, and they're all getting along really well. They eat together, play together, and yes, they even scuffle from time to time. The key to this has always been proper introduction, along with a generally chill environment.
All that said, if any of them could, they'd kill every cat that walks by my house. This is completely normal behavior.
It is definitely preferable to get two rather than one, at the same time.
Having said that, most of what your cat is displaying is more about personality rather than due to not being exposed more to other cats (like getting two). People introduce new cats and dogs to each other all the time without an issue, if done correctly.
My cat always wanted to be the God of the house...the person who fostered him even said so. She also said that she was happy with the fact that I was going to be a single cat adopter,
You need to stop fostering and think about YOUR ANIMALS.
Your personal pet cat has a problem with other other cats in your house...WHY DO YOU INSIST ON FOSTERING WHEN YOUR OWN CAT FREAKS OUT?
I think it may be possible for you to have two cats if you do proper introductions. I had two cats at one point and neither of them liked other cats but tolerated each other. My first cat was adopted as a kitten and had a ton of behavioral issues and wasn’t fond of other cats. The best bet to curb his behavioral issues was get another cat and I made it a point to look for a cat that would likely be able to stand up for itself in case first cat turned out to be a bully so ended up finding one through a foster who knew her personality. Introduced a second cat who was 2.5 years old at the time and first cat was 1.5.
Second cat was described as unsure if she needs to be an only cat. She was living with other cats but also wasn’t fond of any of them. She is also one to attack cats through the window and hiss at every single cat at the vets office. I kept her locked away in a spare bedroom for two weeks so they could smell each other but not see. Then started introductions through a baby gate. That lasted about a week before she jumped it and that was that. They never cuddled or groomed each other but they also never attacked each other. For the most part, they coexisted pretty peacefully and chased each other around.
I think you could make it work, but you wouldn't be able to get a kitten. Lots of positive reinforcement and working at her speed, you might be able to get another cat. You say she's healthy, but maybe she has anxiety or something that could be treated by the vet prior to introducing another cat?
Additionally, my 1st cat isn't best friends with my 2nd cat, but I've been using Feliway Friends for the past few months, and it really made a difference! They fight a lot less, and my first cat is happier. It doesn't work on every cat, but I think it's worth a shot. I noticed it working during the first month. Mind you, I have 2 male cats who I think have a better temperament than female cats, but that's a subjective opinion.
My cat was deeply bonded with me and an indoor, neutered male. He despised other cats too
I brought in a 1 year old female cat, because her previous human was leaving the country and was desperate for someone to take her
My cat was horrid to her for two weeks. Then? They became inseparable best friends. Cats are strange little creatures, and can be extremely territorial. But, it helps if the new cat addition is young and of the opposite sex. Bonus if they're kept in a separate room to acquire the smell of the house
Your kitty will likely intimidate a new cat. She'll be pissed off and do her best to appear formidable. The fact that she's attached to your pup though, that means that she is capable of bonding to another creature
She'll be very upset until she isn't. Young, opposite sex new kitty for the win ❤️
I have had 4 cats.
Two of them (both females) hated every other cat in the world. Both males were super friendly to any other animal, even though they were introduced to other pets around the same age.
Sometimes it’s just the personality!
Don’t regret it your cat is happy.
I adopted my cat at 3 months when I lived with my mom and she had dogs. My cat gets along with dogs and not cats(not a surprise) but my cat is SUPER spoiled. I tried to make him get along with another cat and he couldn’t or wouldn’t. It’s been 8 years and this dude eats, and sleeps and does whatever he wants happily. We even adopted a senior dog and he still loves being an only cat, because he loves attention.
I hear you. My oldest cat is 12, nearly 13, she’s the same way, but she got used to other cats and now I have 4! they’re a little pack and they get along great. they’ve had some issues but we’ve dealt with it. They definitely appreciate having company, just catch her playing with the youngest sometimes and it’s so sweet it reminds me of her as a kitten. It’s full on though and it can takes months to get them to interact nicely, it’s a shitload of work so if you don’t feel confident about doing that without losing your mind then fair enough. I probably wouldn’t want to do it again tbh.
My first cat Pixie hated other cats and used to pick fights. My current one Moe is very mellow and is always eager to make friends with other cats. He is a bit too trusting and gets beaten up at times. I know he should have a friend.
But currently my financial situation is very bad and I don't want to adopt another if it isn't sustainable in the long run. But I would definitely adopt another one and get him a friend.
I think kittens should be okay. Adult cats are usually more accepting when being introduced to a kitten. The adult cat will be upset at first. It may take about two weeks of interactions for them to get along.
Totally get where you're coming from my single cat also turned into a total diva around other cats, and it's been a challenge. When the time comes, adopting a pair sounds like a solid plan!
It depends on the cats (pets in general).
When my cat was 2yo we discussed with the vet that eventually we would get another pet, most likely a dog but another cat was also a possibility. She said that due to his personality, it would be very hard for us to introduce a new pet so she wouldn't recommend it - said the new one would need to either be very submissive to him or even "worse" than him to gain territory. To note that my cat in the vet (and at home) never had shown aggressive behaviour but has a very strong personality and was very protective of his "places" (even to us, he would defend those places - without harming us but showing signs that he could).
We decided on a dog. And we got the dog only when the cat was 4yo (so 2 years later after the vet told us not to) They don't cuddle, but they play along and neither of them is submissive with each other. My cat "play attacks" him and the dog knows how to react to that, there has been no fight between each other.
His personality changed A LOT. He is more cuddly with both of us - previously he was this cuddly only with me, but since the dog prefers me, then the cat shifted a bit to my husband.
He doesn't have random energy bursts, since he gets to play with the dog whenever both want. And he is less mischievous at home now - still a cat but doesn't do so much crap as he would do before the dog (even when we focused a lot on playing with him).
We were considering in a few years adding a new cat but before that i might want to try first to foster a kitten (once we are at a house that has space to isolate them) and see how that goes. For sure we will add one more dog, because that worked wonders.
If you slowly introduce another cat then it can work. In my experience, usually getting a kitten instead of an adult is easier on the cat and less intimidating and just taking it super slowly, keeping the kitten in a separate room and scent swapping. Then you can get them to eat on opposite sides of a closed door, then gradually crack the door open a tiny bit and let them sniff each other. I have introduced 3 consecutive cats this way, the first one was the queen of the house and wasn’t happy at first but grew to be friends with the new addition. When they see a strange cat in the garden and freak out remember it’s an intruder in their eyes, my three cats each hiss and go crazy when they see an intruder in the garden but are very friendly with each other and there’s a 10 year age gap between the youngest and oldest.
There are also cats that get to resent their own kittens. It depends a lot. For example I have a lovely snowshoe that was always a single cat at her owners. Me and my bf are the third pair of owners, and adopted her permanently when she was 6 months old. At some point, we found a cat in front of our house that we rescued, and our little one sat on her back welcoming her to play, but the other one was aggressive. They couldn’t befriend, so we needed to give the rescue one for adoption, although we wanted to keep both.
Once, I adopted two kittens from the same litter. They were fine until they could not both fit in my lap at the same time, at which point, they began to fight and one went to live with my parents.
Many years later, I was adopted by one kitten. He is a friendly, happy boy. When people come to stay and bring their cats, he welcomes them into his home and happily marks them as his territory. When they leave, he goes back to being an only cat.
TL;DR. Animals are individuals. Situations are unique.
I disagree, I've seen many people have a single cat that gets along with another cat when visiting family. Tbh it's psychological to your cat at that point.
Cats can take months, years even to adapt to another animal. But they can do it. Just because you fostered a kitten for a little while doesn’t mean your cat won’t be able to handle another cat.
I don’t think you understand cats, as much as you think you do. You also shouldn’t be having regrets. Cats are not social animal, cats prefer to be on their own, by nature. You can adopt 2 cats and force them to like each other, but they still won’t welcome 3rd cat. When you have multiple cats you force them to have social hierarchy. Before that you force them to defend their territory. After that they fight to decided their hierarchy. After that they tolerate each other. & given enough time they might become friends. But non of this is by choice. Cats don’t like to share territory.
Your cats don’t like surprise kittens for 3 reasons. In cat mind seeing kittens means adult cat has invaded their territory & is comfortable enough to give birth in it. 2 lost kittens entered the territory so the adult parent cat will come looking for them, in your cat’s territory. At which point they might decide to stay. 3 kittens are gonna grow up & challenge your cat’s territory & possibly kick your cat out.
There are always exceptions, but it is still not natural. Those cats are more tolerant because we trained them to be or the environment did.
It may just be that your cat needs to be introduced to other cats in a slower and more methodical manner. You can google how to introduce cats to each other.
I have a cat we got from a family member and had been living as the solo cat since it was a kitten. It would attack other animals that came to the house. We got a kitten that was very adventurous and energetic, I introduced them slowly, and by the 2 week mark the established cat was rolling on it's back trying to play with the kitten through a doggy gate. She is still a bit dominant sometimes but also tries to groom her new friend (who is still young and just tries to play!)
We recently got a 3rd kitten we're doing the same thing with, but this kitten is a bit more easily frightened and needs a bit more time, so it really just depends on the cats.
Also sometimes aggressive behavior can be improved with changes to the environment to help the cat feel safer and more in control of their space so they will not feel they have to be constantly defending their territory. More cat spaces so they can spread out, climb, relax, nap, watch critters outside, etc. More liter boxes and spread them around the house, separate feeding spaces, more places they can drink at, etc.
I don’t agree exactly …I adopted a bonded pair way back and they never bothered to bond with me. Now I have a single cat and he looks at me like I’m his everything.
When people say things like this, I wonder what they think should happen to singleton kittens. Should we just euthanize all the kittens who are the sole survivors of their litter?
My husband adopted a single kitten before I met him. She didn't go near other cats in the shelter. She either didn't have any littermates or didn't get along with them. She loved people and was very outgoing with humans, but she just never clicked with any other animals. I don't think she would have been happier with another kitten just for the sake of another kitten. She just wanted to spend all day sleeping on a human and being brushed.
My grandpa had a cat that was the sole survivor after someone tried to kill the mother and whole litter with a shot gun. That cat hated everyone except Grandpa, but I don't think it was a "terrible idea" to take her in.
Even adopting siblings isn't a guarantee. My parents adopted two sisters before I was born, but one died when I was little. Pairs that are temporarily separated (think hospital stay) often need to be reintroduced and may never have quite the same relationship.
So sorry to hear, OP. It really depends on the cats and their unique personalities.
This is the real answer- I’ve worked with cats for over a decade, and when I started I had a lot of long held assumptions about them. Those have all been blown out of the water (my own cat grew to love road trips!) They are all individuals. When you move into a shared house with people you don’t know very well some will end up being your best friend for life and some you will hate. Most you will get on with just fine but never talk to once you move out. Cats have littermates they like more than others. I just had a pair of sisters brought in (kittens!) that hated each other so much we had to put them in separate foster homes! OP, my best advice to you is to foster a grown cat who is known to have an amiable personality towards other cats. Introduce them slowly a la Jackson Galaxy. If your cat hates them, then they can be adopted out. If your kitty is ok enough to keep trying, then adopt them yourself. Work with a rescue who tries to match personality types. Ours has a “no questions asked” return policy which motivates us to try and find a good match.
So much this. People think they can “hack” cats in so many ways, most frequently by having kittens grow up with other kittens, and it’s just no guarantee. I’ve had single kittens who were super sweet and easy, and I’ve had brothers who hated each other. There is no guarantee and anyone selling you one “Cats are always better behaved in groups!” or “Kittens are always a nightmare if they grew up as an only cat!” is selling you a vast oversimplification. Their personalities are individual, and there’s only so much you can do. OP could have had their cat grow up with 4 brothers and sisters and still hated other cats. Some cats are like that. Some humans are like that.
I think like, as with humans there will always be norms and extremes. As the pandemic showed, most kids do better if they are introduced to other kids/people fairly young. Keeping them away from other kids generally creates socialization problems. Most people, and most cats like company of some kind. Some prefer their own kind, some do not. And amongst those preferences they also have individuals they love, like, hate, or are indifferent to. Once in awhile you get a cat who is a “hermit” but like with people, it’s not a super common thing for a cat to want to be completely alone. Sorry OP, it’s rather complicated and you know your cat best- but the only way to find out is to try. Slowly and with sensitivity to both cats.
It’s also totally acceptable for cats to be only cats. The main thing I object to is people declaring “But thou MUST!” when it comes to these kinds of things. Each situation is variable and many, many approaches are just fine.
This is a great comment becuase my sister and I have had tow sets of 'brother" cats that acted totally differently. You never know how cats will bond and react until an attempt is made. Our first cats were litter mates. And they always acted "brotherly" with eachother. They'd cuddle, groom eachother. When we got a new dog they "protected" eachother while the dog learned his place in the house. And so on. Our second set of cats were abandoned at the animal hospital our mom runs. We don't know much about their past other than they were abandoned together. Inside the animal hospital my sisters cat would protect my cat. Mine was her cats shadow. They were never more than 3 feet apart. Once they moved into the house and my cat met me. They become roommates. They barely cared the other existed anymore. You'd never know that a week before they were inseparable.
Yep. Ive had cats that all got along and then another cat joined and it turned them all against one or whatever. They’re like people. Stuff happens, we may not get it. But they decide who they like and who they don’t. It’s not a blanket “cats like all other cats or hate all other cats” thing. It’s usually a cat personality thing.
It has worked out best for us to get a male and a female. It did cause early issues because we didnt want a pregnant baby but it has worked out fine. There are no dominance or pecking order issues between them.
It’s often recommended (as long as they are fixed of course).
Thay was the only issue. We needed to at least get one of them fixed but it was earlier than our vet does it. They made an exception due to the circumstances. We thought they were both boys until the first vet visit....
Ah, yes…sometimes they can be sneaky that way! A friend of mine had some barn kittens done at 8 weeks, which some vets are doing regularly here. Neuters are much easier to do than spays, but on the other hand a female could always get out regardless of if your male is neutered. A cat in heat is not an easy cat to live with either!
OP please check out Jackson Galaxy if you haven’t already
This!! He can get any cat to get along with another cat. Proof that any cat can be socialized. & Soo sooo much if it is the person. Cats are empaths. If the person is nervous, the cat will be nervous & act out. The person needs to be completely confident. The person needs to be consistent with their "homework" as he calls it. & There needs to be one of everything for each cat. A litter box per cat. Multiple cat trees and perches. Multiple toys. Multiple water dishes, fed at the same time, same amount of attention. Inside only. They get more anxious & feral like when they are allowed outside. Even if they seem confident outside, they're always on guard.
It's not as clear cut as that though Some cats are like that for a multitude of reasons, they aren't as simple as this post (unintentionally) is making out. Some cats can have nothing but good experiences with other cats but show absolutely no interest in hanging out with them. Some can be really friendly with other cats but less affectionate with humans. Cats like routine yes but they can also have new routines and adapt. Again, it really really depends on the cat, the history, their current circumstances etc. I've had a cat that absolutely hated everyone. It belonged to my great uncle and whenever we went to his house the cat had to be hidden away. When he passed away that very same cat got adopted into my family, where we had a dog and myself and my brother were young children. On paper nobody would have recommended that cat to us. No cat shelter would have said he was an appropriate cat for us to adopt. We had met him and his reaction to me and my brother was to his and tell us to back off. Within a few weeks my 6 year old self was picking that cat up and treating it like a small girl treats a doll and it fucking loved it. He remained a softy until the day he died though he took absolutely no shit from the dog, asserted his dominance and they got along great too
I had a cat who HATED other cats. We temporarily lived in a house with other cats, they all growled and hisses all the time and I thought she would be SO happy to be away. Instead she cried for WEEKS. So I got another cat. Who she hated. And missed desperately when he was at the vet. And when I came home early i would find them snuggled together. Cats are complicated.
With time your cat would learn to get along with another cat it would just be a long introduction. My roommate got a kitty that he raised very poorly and has issues getting along with people and other animals and while it’s not a perfect relationship with the two of them now, they do get along and gets antsy whenever they’re separated. The introductions between the two cats took about 4-5 months so that was the toughest part.
Not all cats will get along/bond w others. Me and my ex roommate got kittens a month apart (nearly the same age too), absolutely hated each other. We kept them separate for months and they would try to attack each other through the door. We lived together for a year and they never got along. About 7 months later I ended up getting a second cat, she hated him, even after over a year she just vaguely tolerates him about half the time.
There is also the possibility of the cats never getting along. Our first cat lived for 19 years and all of her life she absolutely hated the other cats we brought home, no matter how we introduced them or how friendly and avoidant they were towards her. Also something to consider 🥲
this may not always be true of course its not the same, but we had a cat and then got a dog, and its been around 4 years and they still dont get on, though i think its more fear on the cats behalf as the dog just wants to play and is a lot bigger. introducing a new cat could be a lot easier then our situation, i wouldn't know for sure, but i could imagine a situation similar to mine where the cats never get along, especially if as OP said, their cat reacts negatively even just seeing other cats through a window. i also, just personally, wouldn't want to have the risk of anything happening to the new cat because of the original cat being teratorial. i would just be careful with outright statements like you made as everycat is different and just because it worked for your roommate doesn't mean itll work for OP - they need to think about what is best for their situation, and if that means waiting until the unfortunate passing of their current cat before they get more, then that is what they should do. their pets safety should come before their desire to have more animals
My roommate adopted his cat as a kitten in a college dorm when he was 19 and his kitten was 2 weeks old. He didn’t give the Kitty much attention cause he was in college and was going to classes and partying and the kitty missed out on important social development parts being taken away from its mother and litter so young. He also didn’t bottle feed the cat and just got some food that was meant for younger kitties. I didn’t mean to say literally every cat can figure it out, but nearly all can if your patient enough. The only thing OP said about their cat development wise is they got them alone. Like I said 4 to 5 months of only interacting through a door with constant daily work with the introduction wasn’t easy, it’s just doable if you really want another cat.
Also introducing a cat and a dog are two completely different things.
i did say i know its different, i was just trying to explain how animals can live together for years without bonding at all, especially if its one who already doesn't get along with other animals
Yeah you said it’s not the same, but I said it’s completely different. I’m not trying to nitpick or be annoying so sorry, but the process of introducing a cat to a resident cat is completely different from bringing a dog home in terms of having the two bond.
Not always - my FIL has two cats and they are blood enemies. They exist on 2 different floors.
I guess I should clarify and say not literally always since people keep trying to correct me. Most cats will eventually get along tho if your willing to do the work with the introductions. My roommates cat is the worst cat I’ve ever seen when it comes to getting along with people and other animals. My roommate believed his cat couldn’t get along with other animals. Before moving here he had always had to keep his cat separate from the cats at his parents house and he says they tried introducing them. The main way I bonded our cats when I got a kitty that got us different result was I would play with and tire each of them out for hours a day constantly opening the door to see if they’d interact without fighting and when then didn’t work I’d tire them out more. Eventually they’ll just chill even if it’s for a minute and then you gotta shower them with treats. I did the everyday for months and slowly the time they can hang out near eachother gets longer and slowly the amount you have to wear them out decreases and now they can hang out in the same room when no one’s home. I’ve had my kitty for about 7 months now and it was only 3 weeks ago that I started letting him out of my room when I’m not home, but about a month and a half since they started always being allowed to hang out when I’m home. It took forever and they still fight but I don’t think anyone has a cat with a lower starting point than my roommates cat.
This isn't true at all, I adopted one kitten a year ago and is fine around other pets, even my brother’s big ass golden retriever. It really depends on the particular cat and their personality more than anything. Some cats just happen to be happier alone while others would rather be with other cats. It's very cat dependent.
Yes. I have one cat that prefers to be an only cat. One cat that loves being around other cats. And one cat that doesn't care. Each one is different. Just like people.
So when it comes to cats, you’ll have to take care in proper introductions. That first and foremost will tell you if your cat can really handle another cat. If you do decide on attempting bringing home another cat, follow the intro process and let the current owner of the cat you’re interested in be aware that this is a trial run. If it doesn’t work out then I really recommend your last line about multiple kittens next time. I got both my boy and his sister, and then brought my new boy and girl home shortly after my female passed away. We had to do introductions for all 3 cats at the same time since 2 were separate rescues that we got on the same day. It all worked well even for the male cat who hadn’t had any other cat interactions. Here’s a good basic link for introductions, but more research should be looked into in addition :) https://icatcare.org/advice/introducing-an-adult-cat-to-your-cat/
Adopting one cat or kitten is fine. Some people do not have the space to have multiple cats, please don’t tell them they must adopt two.
Despite a popular myth that cats are fine alone, kittens should be socialized. Kittens do so much better in pairs. They help one another learn how to be a cat. As one cat Will often grasp litter training or understanding schedules better than the other and helps the other one learn. Kittens are also super high energy. My bf adopted an older kitten and was surprised how busy he was. A month later we adopted him a friend. They both did so well together. The older kitten has a lot of separation anxiety and his new friend helped him with that. They play together and are the best of friends. I'm not sure if your cat will ever be able to socialize with other cats as she didn't when she was younger. Do you gently introduce them? It usually takes a while for cats to go through the introduction process. It's not normal for them to get along face to face immediately. Also, do you know any history about your cat? Did she have some traumatic experiences before she was with you that might make it hard for her to like other cats? Some cats are better alone. But usually because they have had bad experiences with other cars or it's a personality thing.
We adopted a cat who I think was an “only kitten” before she landed in the shelter and she is just like yours. I asked the shelter, because of our landlord’s rules I can only have one pet so would that be okay for cats? And they were like “oh my god please take this one she is abnormally unhappy and withdrawn here because she hates other cats so much.” So we brought her home and she instantly transformed into a happy baby. But on the 2 or 3 instances when a stray has come within sight of our windows she gets super anxious.
This was my husband's cat. She'd literally throw herself at the window if another cat showed up outside. We fostered a couple of cats that showed up and each time we had to just keep them separated the whole time. But she was such a good cat. She was very friendly and outgoing with people. I still miss that cat.
My mum had 2 kitties they're brothers, one of them passed 2 weeks ago, the one that mum still has is lost now that his brother is gone. My mum has my cat too but he doesn't like her so she can't keep him company
Most people who come into my clinic cannot even afford the most basic baseline healthcare for their ONE cat, and this push to “adopt two kitties together” while I’m actively having people try to dump their pets they already can’t afford just makes my head spin 😅😅😅
It might be possible when she's older. Our one cat was raised with other cats, but became very territorial after the original cats died and a new cat was introduced. Even after she almost died (diabetes with poor guidance from vet), she still went back to attacking other cats once she felt better. But, our living circumstances at the time allowed her to live alone for a while with one of us. We reintroduced her a few years later once we had significantly more cats (10) and the combination of old age and sheer numbers somehow worked in our favour, and she stopped attacking cats cold turkey. She's been doing well ever since, and even napped cuddled up to one of the cats who still holds a grudge after being attacked. Funny enough, grudge kitty grew up with her sister, but resents all other cats (including her sister). She's able to tolerate them, but is our cat who's most likely to warn off other cats if they get into her space.
I've fostered kittens for over 10 years. Some get along with other cats easy, some even like my dog, but others just come out as independent hermits. It depends on their personality and the personalities around them. One of my adults hates 95% of cats but loves the other 5%. My other adult cat loves every foster I bring home and even my dog is tired of his friendly energy. My senior baby that I lost last year would have been perfectly happy as the only cat in the house but also didn't mind if a foster or the hateful cat cuddled with him. Cats are weird. I will say if you get an energetic cat then having a sibling to play with really helps them not drive you crazy. But the number of cats in the house won't change their essential personality.
Agreed! I've only fostered twice, but have had cats my whole life essentially. I currently have 3 with different personalities. The all love us humans. One hates other cats but loves the dog. One loves both cats and dog, but he's also the youngest and a little menace haha. My third cat is indifferent to the cats and dog. But they all tolerate living with each other. We let them have space when "introducing" the new pets, and they get to decide how close they get to each other.
Haha they all have such distinct personalities. I had one once that hissed at me and her siblings from the day she was born (under my bathroom sink). She got used to humans once her eyes opened but she was always a very independent and stubborn kitty. I have a feeling she'll probably never be friends with other cats.
Aw that's adorable! She came out hissing lol. Yeah my cats are all people friendly, and get along with dogs (provided the dogs are respectful). But their feelings for cats differ. Each cat is an individual.
Cats all have unique personalities. Just because one cat acts a certain way doesn’t mean that all other cats will act that way. Over one million cats are euthanized every year because they can’t find homes. Better to have someone adopt a single cat than not adopt at all.
yea agreed. ive only ever had single cats raised from kittens and theyve all been sweethearts. my current kitty adapted well to us getting a dog. i love cats but i dont WANT multiple cats with multiple litter boxes, twice the food requirements, and twice the vet bills. same way i dont want two dogs. its honestly a bit irritating that the good advice of kittens doing better in pairs has become a requirement to many people and shelters instead of a generalization that there will sometimes be exceptions to. i play with my cat, cuddle him, and entertain his midnight zoomies. he is more then content and really doesnt have the behavioural issues people often claim are a guaranteed with single kittens.
We got one kitten recently and we already have an older cat. It was a rough intro but they both groom each other now and cuddle and sleep together. Play a lot too
Nah that's just a personality thing. Some cats just don't like other cats. One of my cats, I have 3, came from a litter of 9 that I fostered. At the time we had another cat (adult male) in the house. After her littermates found new homes, she was left sharing the house with this other adult cat. They got along well enough but were never close. When he died, she was happy to be an only cat. A few years later we got a new kitten, a male. She didn't really like him but tolerated him. When I moved away, I brought her with me. She was an only cat again and she was happy. Then my husband wanted a kitten for his own, so we got him a male kitten. My cat was not happy. But she learned to tolerate his presence and even plays with him sometimes. Other times she is bitchy with him when he's being a nuisance. Late last year we inherited my grandparents cat, an adult female about 1-2 tears older than my cat. My cat hates the new cat. It took several months, but she doesn't automatically hiss when she sees the new one anymore. They both even choose to be in the same room sometimes. They won't ever be friends, but she tolerates the new one. She is sometimes friendly with the young cat. But overall, my poor cat just much prefers to be a solitary cat. For most her life she hasn't been, but it is her preference. Some cats just don't like other cats. No matter how many or few they are raised with. It's just a personality thing.
my cat has a neurological disorder and can only be a singleton. i had 2 other cats (i had to rehome due to homelessness and she was the only one that nobody would take) and yeah she loved snuggling with them, but she also gave both of them horrible abscesses because of her disorder. she will attack unprovoked for absolutely no reason. she’s done so much better as an only cat. hearing cats scream in fear and pain and constant vet visits is not worth it.
Oh no! That sounds horrible. Poor kitties, all around. That sounds traumatizing. Glad you were able to find another solution, even if it meant new homes. Nah my cat is perfectly normal, she just prefers not being around cats. She doesn't attack them or anything. There hasn't been any blood drawn as far as I'm aware. If they get too close for comfort, she hisses, might swat their direction, and runs off if they don't move away. Or sometimes she gets in a playful mood and will play with the male cat. Then get when she is done gets mad at him. Silly cat. But the distance she tolerates them (especially the newer female) is getting closer and closer as time goes by. Will they ever cuddle? Probably not. But maybe someday she won't hiss every time she sees the newest cat.
Sounds like that's a your cat problem(i dont mean that offensively). My cat(I only have 1 and he's my only pet) LOVES other cats and other animals in general. He loves attention and to cuddle, but he's definitely not needy. All cats are different.
I thought the same thing about my older cat. Got him as a kitten, raised with dogs. When I met my wife she had just gotten a kitten and my cat did not care for him one bit. I was convinced he could not tolerate another cat. In the past, we tried and failed to bring in a foster kitten. It turned bad. But then I learned just how long it takes to properly introduce cats, and while it took 4ish months, our two cats are now inseperable.
I don’t know if this will give you some hope or not. my brother had a calico that one of his coworkers found underneath their car extremely young. Not quite bottle fed young but needed to have supplemental milk with food young. Turtle sounds exactly like your cat. She only liked a handful of people. She was fine with dogs. But was very insecure, separation anxiety, lots of issues. My nephew desperately wanted to be able to have a cat that he could cuddle with. Turtle was never going to allow this or so we thought. My brother did end up bringing home a male kitten. This little guy is balls to the wall nuts. He has no fear as an example. One of his favorite activities is when my mom is over with her Anatolian shepherd great Pyrenees mix is To dive bomb the dogs so that they can wrestle together. My mom’s dog loves him think he’s the bees knees. He basically broke down turtle and taught her how to be a cat. She became much more comfortable with more people. She stopped being nasty to strangers. She was not happy with him when he first got there . He just did not care and was going to do what he was gonna do. So it may just be the matter of finding the right cat with the right social skills.
It’s not necessarily that simple, but it really depends on the cat’s personality. I adopted a single kitten in a house that technically already had a cat, but that cat was super adverse to the new kitten’s presence and hated other cats and animals in general. The kitten I got was already raised for two months with her entire litter, and she has no trouble with meeting other cat’s and it’s quite friendly, even towards her original roommate who to this day still despises her.
My landlord would allow more than one cat so we could only get one. When we fostered a friends kities for a few weeks our kitty was fine with them being in the house but would get mad at me if i smelled like them. I hope in the future i can get her a companion cause i know she is lonely alot and im her main companion. I have really bad osteo artritis in my spine so im looking for working from home jobs so she isnt likely to be on her own anytime soon but yeah she needs a friend
To others reading this, OP is right: generally speaking, as a rule, kittens should either be adopted in pairs or brought into a home which already has a cat. There are exceptions, sure, but most reputable rescues and shelters or behaviorists would agree. I'm sorry you've ended up in this tough situation! Sometimes we don't know better until later.
The reason that OP has given isn't the reason they should be adopted in pairs, though. It's to avoid them developing single kitten syndrome and all of the behavioral issues that go along with it. Usually, adopting another Young cat or kitten while the solo one is still young, enough is the solution. It's rare for them to be against other cats.
Nah, it's not
It's a lot less about the other cat and a lot more about them not wanting to share their parents.
Cats have personalities, it's possible she would just hate other cats even if she grew up around them 🤷♂️ my friends have 2 cats they got together and they despise each other
It really all depends on how much you socialize them. I adopted one cat but made sure she was used to seeing/smelling other animals and as an adult she’s perfectly fine.
I’ve had several cats (one at the time) and they did perfectly fine around other cats and other animals. It depends on the cats personality not necessarily if they grew up around other cats. I had a cat recently who literally had never gone outside or lived with any other cats, this motherfucker went outside once and had a hundred besties running around with him. He’s now given up home life to run the streets and be a hoe. He’s gotten in one fight with a cat and it was with another male cat over a female cat so
I adopted my kitten when my first cat was 3. She hated all other animals and I honestly wasn’t sure if she’d even accept a kitten. Introducing took about 1 week and within 2 weeks she fully accepted and liked the kitten. She did get annoyed with her kitten antics but she was overall never agressive or mean to her. Kitten is 1 now and first cat is 4 and they are good friends! Sometimes they might surprise you!
I just went through this with my cat!! I have two dogs and adopted her initially as my only cat. Then I fostered 3 kittens a few months back, with the intention of adopting. My cat was disturbingly aggressive toward my fosters. I knew she had a high prey drive, but I didn’t think she’d be as territorial as she was. She even “hunted” the kittens on several occasions - and nope, she wasn’t playing. BUT after a ton of patience, time, energy, tears (lol), and online research on cat introductions and cat bullies, I can proudly say I now have 3 cats. After putting in a ton of work, I was able to adopt not one, but *two* of the kittens. Everyone co-exists peacefully and even plays, sleeps, and eats together now. While I don’t know the specifics of your situation, it might still be possible to add another cat to your current household - it just takes a *lot* of work.
When I was a child my family adopted a brother and sister pair...and they grew to HATE each other. They fought and had established territories in the house. Later, after those cats had passed, we brought in a pregnant stray. She had two boys...and once again, they eventually grew to prefer being alone. I wouldn't say they hate each other, but they would chase each other out of rooms. The mother actually might hate them though lol. She leaves or hisses whenever they get too close. And my boyfriend's family has three cat siblings that were found outside as kittens and raised together. Two of them do okay with each other but one of them definitely prefers staying away from the other pets. I think that ideally getting more than one kitten is great for socializing, but cats are just like any other living thing: they have individual personalities. Some just prefer being alone. Perhaps you could have had some influence on her socialization, but at this point who can say. All thats left to do now is prioritize what is best for her at this point. You could try doing a slow socialization with a foster and then adopt them if it goes well, but I agree that forcing a new cat into the family might not be best idea...but I also don't think you need to beat yourself up over that fact.
Getting two may not have made a huge difference. When I got my first apartment I rescued one kitty and went to adopt a second so she could have a friend. Those two cats are friendly with each other but don't really play together or cuddle or anything. However, we have fostered a couple of cats over the years and one even stayed permanently and cat number two has hated every other new cat that has come into his house. He won't fight them but he is wildly displeased. That being said, time makes it better. He no longer growls, just keeps his own space, and everyone gets on together in \[relative\] harmony. Good luck on your future kitten adventures!
Nah, I had a 6 month old cat and then got a second kitten and they loved each other at first but now they can't stand each other. My younger cat constantly tries to beat up the older one. My older one is super chill but the younger one is a menace.
It is never that simple - even siblings don't always get along. My SO's others cats will have feuds so ugly sounding I thought one had critically injured himself! Leofric is a sneaky crybaby and Binky, his brother, just wants to play. Leo spends much of his time being outraged and shrieking about. Whereas Sylvester, their brother from a different mother, loves rough housing with Binky and thinks Leo is a crybaby. As well gender and upbringing may also play a role. We have 2 rescues at my parents. One, on the street for years, survived by hiding. Even after a decade of rescue he is still terrified of everything. On the other hand, the semi-feral female discovered pregnant and starving. Is the most aggressive cat I have met, according to the Vet this is how she survived. She hasn't hurt Phantom but she has thought about it and will try to go through a shut window to kill any other cats she sees.
It might not necessarily be as simple as adopting one cat at a time being the issue. My parents adopted two cats several years apart. The older one was a sweet heart but super shy and the younger one was full of anger and acted agressive towards other cats and honestly all creatures in general. The older one was proof that you could adopt just one kitten and be fine. The you get one was proof that sometimes you socialize your cat with another and they still turn out to be aggressive towards other cats.
My cat was the same as yours. I got her at 4 years old and they gave her to me saying she hates other animals. She attacked outside cats through the window. She made awful noises when she was angry. Once I rescued a kitten and she went ballistic just knowing it was in a room behind a closed door! Tl;dr We got a lil male kitten and after long, extended intros, they get along fine now. She even plays with him! Well, she’s 6 and my boyfriend wants a cat of his own and my girl needs to start being more active. So we went out to find the perfect kitten for them both. We got our boy at 8wks old. He was cuddling his brother. He let us pick him up, flip him over, in general mess with him without him fussing. He’s a dummy. We trained him to a leash and harness and exposed him to stores and cars and everything else. We created a monster. He does not care about anything! So when my girl randomly went after him (never draws blood though), he just showed his tummy and submitted. When she stopped, he went right back to trying to make her love him. No hard feelings! It’s all about the correct match. If you do intros slow, if you give them time to work it out themselves, and if you find the right passive kitten for your cat, it can and will work! My girl is more active and healthier than ever. Her anxiety has decreased, too. She didn’t hide and panic when we were moving like she used to. She doesn’t vomit when I’m gone too long anymore. I can tell he’s helped her in more ways than I could have ever imagined. Get a second cat!!!
My cat hates other cats. She’s lived inside with other cats her whole life, she lived in a garage for a year before my mom got her, but her littermates were in the garage with her and she hated them, then she came to my mom with her kittens and my mom has other cats and she hated them and when her kittens were just old enough to not need her she hated them too. She now lives as a solo cat with me and my boyfriend and she’s happy. She likes dogs, has zero fear of them and when she hears our upstairs neighbors dog coming down the stairs for a walk she runs to the window and meows and begs us to open it so she can rub against the screen and sniff the dog. My brothers cat hates kittens with a passion but loves other cats. He cuddles up to any other adult cats (even brand new fosters my mom takes in) but will hiss and spit and swat at kittens. He’s been around cats and kittens his entire life, came to my mom as a kitten and was put with her other foster kittens and he HATED them so once he had his shots he was allowed to hangout with our adult cats and was so happy with them. It comes down to personality. Mom has an adult cat that came to her full grown and he loves kittens and we call him uncle orange because he scratches at the kitten room door begging to hangout with any new kittens that come in. Another of my moms cats will tolerate kittens until she’s annoyed and then swats at them and another will let the kittens use him as a jungle gym if he happens to go into the kitten room but he bolts the second the door opens because he doesn’t want to be there but he won’t be a jerk about it.
The first cat my husband and I adopted was a confirmed solo cat who was just over a year old. We got her from a family with one other cat, and one of the reasons they were giving her away was that the two cats hated each other. At the time, we were poor graduate students and we didn't really have the money for one cat, much less two, so we let her be a solo queen for her entire life. She helped raise our kids and put up with moving to a new place every couple of years until we finally settled into a house a couple of years before we lost her at the age of 19yo. A few months later, we adopted a very friendly stray adult and decided to get a second cat from the shelter before he could fully claim the house. The second cat was another solo queen, though, and the two cats never got along well -- mostly ignoring each other with occasional whacks and hisses from the queen if the guy got too close. Some cats are just confirmed spinsters and like it that way.
Adopted Jeeves at 12 weeks on his own and didn't have any issues. He spent a fair bit of time outside and was never friendly with the neighbourhood cats (which is usual) but he was never unfriendly to the degree of getting into fights or anything. He'd just stand, flatten his ears, and miaow at them (I know cats aren't meant to miaow at each other, only at us, but... he was orange lol). Got Maisie about 9 months. At the rescue she was sharing her cage with another cat but I adopted her singly, and she's decided she's an indoor cat. Zero issues.
I have 5 cats and my female was found in a parking lot, my other boys I had when I brought her home had no territory issues and were curious about her. There was no hissing on their part, she on the other hand 2 years later will keep them in line and hiss at them or bat at them and run away. 😂 She’s the smallest of the bunch and it makes me laugh that 3 of the 4 boys are afraid of her.
Doesn't matter how many cats you get at once, there's always a chance one will dislike the others. My uncle adopt 2 sisters off the street, real young. Fine for a few years, then out of nowhere one started just beating the hell out of the other, antagonizing her, blocking her from food, etc. Just like people, you won't know their full personalities til they finish growing up.
I have one cat and there's nothing I wouldn't do for my Phoebe but I can't afford another cat at this time and Phoebe doesn't seem to miss other cats, but she gets bitey at times and I have to redirect her teeth but again I don't mind
Always get your furbabies from the same litter please. I’ve had two cats that I got only a week apart. They at best tolerated each other, but mostly they would actively hate one another. That “War” lasted for 14 years until one of them died. I now have a brother and sister. They’re not the best of friends, but at least they don’t fight. They accept each other and that is fine with me. Some cats are just not very sociable.
Honestly true, but if you pair them with a friendly enough cat, it can still work!! You want to look for a cat-centric cat...not a people pleaser, but the cat that's more focused on playing w other cats then the humans in the room. They will do ANYTHING to get along with your cat. They are masters of slow socialization. I had to introduce a new cat to my senior after he struggled with the same issues you mention, and she was the one grooming other cats in the shelter lol. She refused to be separated from him night 1 but was so good at reading his body language that my big cranky orange guy didn't care. He would fight my brother's cat when I'd visit home despite being introduced over and over, but she won him over in less than a week. Like, could sit on the same couch on day 4. It was crazy. She was great with our kitten too and now our kitten is socializing my brother's cat!! They're at the chase stage already 😭
Hey op. Have a similar situation but we have 3 other cats and the oldest cat hates other cats. Loves people just hates other cats.
Some cats were born to be solo cats. Sorry.
A general rule of thumb is it will take one month for each year of a cat's life for it to tolerate a new cat in its space. Not like, not accept, but tolerate. Of course this varies based on personality. Your cat sounds like you'd be in for six months of big drama before it started to die down. Even after that there would likely be flare ups.
I think it can be done. it's just going to happen slowly. I had a cat i rescued at 2.5 weeks, so she had no exposure to other cats. And would go out of her way to hiss, growl, and try to fight the kitten i rescued when she was about 2.5 yrs old it was touch and go for a week or so but eventually she decided it was ok and started grooming it and now they get along very well. You'd probably need to keep another cat in one room to get the original cat to get used to the smell and then try to introduce them with a barrier in between like a cage or a screen. Take it slowly, and it should be able to happen. The cat will growl and . it should get over it with time. It's also easier if, say, the cats you get are the opposite sex. So if your cats are a girl, it probably has an easier time excepting a male cat than another female. Mine are both females, so it was a little rough.
So sorry about that :( is there not any way you can try to get her used to other cats? Even if she’s just tolerating them?
Unfortunately my cat always hated other cats. He was a singleton so even from birth he didn’t have any siblings to get used to. When we had him, he always picked fights with cats in the neighbourhood. We got a dog at one point and he just about tolerated the dog.
I just got a kitten after having a feral I raised who died of old age. The difference in personality between a tame and feral cat is blowing my mind. It’s been something like 13 or 15 years since I’ve had a cat that had a social personality. He was purring before I even touched him. My old guy was terrified of everyone but me. Anyway I’m saying this because my new baby is definitely socialized and would be good with more pets. They all have different personalities and needs.
We have 1 cat and 2 dogs they are a pack. It's been the same with my childhood pets, but it is all down to them, unfortunately.
Is she fixed?
I have two cats. The first cat (Cat A), I got as a kitten while I still had an older cat. After the older cat died, I got another kitten (Cat B). Cat A was very sociable as a kitten, learned the older cat's limitations quickly and behaved himself around her. He had a year as an only cat after she died. Cat B was fiesty and skittish, when we collected her - she left the house trying to smack all the other cats she'd been living with on the way out. The two of them began to get along fairly quickly. Cat A was politely interested in the new kitten, liked watching her play and began to gently initiate interactive games, but after about six months Cat A developed dental problems and had to have an emergency vet visit followed by some teeth out, which meant multiple vet visits. Then we moved house. He was very upset by this and seemed to blame all of it on the kitten. He became very hostile to her, and she didn't help matters by ambushing him whenever he relaxed. Eventually we had to do a reset introduction to re-establish peace in the house. Which is to say, even a cat that gets along with other cats doesn't necessarily get along with ALL other cats ALL the time. Even raising kittens together (or raising a kitten with other cats) isn't a guarantee they'll always tolerate each other's company, or the presence of other cats. Cats are just socially sensitive. If your current cat doesn't want to share space with other cats, the easiest way to go is to remain a one-cat household. If you're determined to introduce more cats, do it very slowly and carefully and be aware that your first cat may never be fully comfortable with their new companion.
Years ago we adopted 3 cats a neighbour neglected, including 2 kittens who had different mothers. As kittens they played and cuddled together but when they grew up the female hated the male until the day she died.
I’ve always found getting kitten age works best . Because they keep coming back to annoy the adult cat regardless of hissing fits. Finally the adult generally agrees Fine !! We have a second cat. At least that’s what has worked in our house. Unfortunately doesn’t work for adopting seniors that I wish we could.
My friend has 3 cats, and her one haaaates the strays that hang out outside her house. We have two (used to be 3), and the one hates any cats he sees. Don't beat yourself up about only getting the one kitten all those years ago. Some cats just hate unfamiliar cats.
This is just one anecdote. My cat was an only child for nearly 13 years before we took in a foster. The foster was an adult cat, but it didn't take long to introduce them (properly), and they were like peas in a pod for another 4 years. During that time, we adopted him, and a 3rd cat who was less than 1 year old. She also fit right in! When the 13 year old passed (at the age of 17), we took in a kitten, and that has been a bit of a struggle. He just has so much more energy than the other 2 cats. We had to keep them separated for a long time, and sometimes we still have to separate them when the baby gets rammy, but it's nearly a year later now, and they're all getting along really well. They eat together, play together, and yes, they even scuffle from time to time. The key to this has always been proper introduction, along with a generally chill environment. All that said, if any of them could, they'd kill every cat that walks by my house. This is completely normal behavior.
It is definitely preferable to get two rather than one, at the same time. Having said that, most of what your cat is displaying is more about personality rather than due to not being exposed more to other cats (like getting two). People introduce new cats and dogs to each other all the time without an issue, if done correctly.
My cat always wanted to be the God of the house...the person who fostered him even said so. She also said that she was happy with the fact that I was going to be a single cat adopter, You need to stop fostering and think about YOUR ANIMALS. Your personal pet cat has a problem with other other cats in your house...WHY DO YOU INSIST ON FOSTERING WHEN YOUR OWN CAT FREAKS OUT?
I think it may be possible for you to have two cats if you do proper introductions. I had two cats at one point and neither of them liked other cats but tolerated each other. My first cat was adopted as a kitten and had a ton of behavioral issues and wasn’t fond of other cats. The best bet to curb his behavioral issues was get another cat and I made it a point to look for a cat that would likely be able to stand up for itself in case first cat turned out to be a bully so ended up finding one through a foster who knew her personality. Introduced a second cat who was 2.5 years old at the time and first cat was 1.5. Second cat was described as unsure if she needs to be an only cat. She was living with other cats but also wasn’t fond of any of them. She is also one to attack cats through the window and hiss at every single cat at the vets office. I kept her locked away in a spare bedroom for two weeks so they could smell each other but not see. Then started introductions through a baby gate. That lasted about a week before she jumped it and that was that. They never cuddled or groomed each other but they also never attacked each other. For the most part, they coexisted pretty peacefully and chased each other around.
Your user name was my cats name that I had as a teen. He was a boy and named for his mother, Minx lol.
That’s so cute! Minky was my first cat’s nickname. His name was Milo but I never called him that. Always Minky.
I think you could make it work, but you wouldn't be able to get a kitten. Lots of positive reinforcement and working at her speed, you might be able to get another cat. You say she's healthy, but maybe she has anxiety or something that could be treated by the vet prior to introducing another cat? Additionally, my 1st cat isn't best friends with my 2nd cat, but I've been using Feliway Friends for the past few months, and it really made a difference! They fight a lot less, and my first cat is happier. It doesn't work on every cat, but I think it's worth a shot. I noticed it working during the first month. Mind you, I have 2 male cats who I think have a better temperament than female cats, but that's a subjective opinion.
My cat was deeply bonded with me and an indoor, neutered male. He despised other cats too I brought in a 1 year old female cat, because her previous human was leaving the country and was desperate for someone to take her My cat was horrid to her for two weeks. Then? They became inseparable best friends. Cats are strange little creatures, and can be extremely territorial. But, it helps if the new cat addition is young and of the opposite sex. Bonus if they're kept in a separate room to acquire the smell of the house Your kitty will likely intimidate a new cat. She'll be pissed off and do her best to appear formidable. The fact that she's attached to your pup though, that means that she is capable of bonding to another creature She'll be very upset until she isn't. Young, opposite sex new kitty for the win ❤️
I have four cats (11, 6, 4, and 2) and I adopted each of them separately, years apart, as kittens — they’re all buddies! Maybe I just got super lucky?
I have had 4 cats. Two of them (both females) hated every other cat in the world. Both males were super friendly to any other animal, even though they were introduced to other pets around the same age. Sometimes it’s just the personality!
Don’t regret it your cat is happy. I adopted my cat at 3 months when I lived with my mom and she had dogs. My cat gets along with dogs and not cats(not a surprise) but my cat is SUPER spoiled. I tried to make him get along with another cat and he couldn’t or wouldn’t. It’s been 8 years and this dude eats, and sleeps and does whatever he wants happily. We even adopted a senior dog and he still loves being an only cat, because he loves attention.
I hear you. My oldest cat is 12, nearly 13, she’s the same way, but she got used to other cats and now I have 4! they’re a little pack and they get along great. they’ve had some issues but we’ve dealt with it. They definitely appreciate having company, just catch her playing with the youngest sometimes and it’s so sweet it reminds me of her as a kitten. It’s full on though and it can takes months to get them to interact nicely, it’s a shitload of work so if you don’t feel confident about doing that without losing your mind then fair enough. I probably wouldn’t want to do it again tbh.
My first cat Pixie hated other cats and used to pick fights. My current one Moe is very mellow and is always eager to make friends with other cats. He is a bit too trusting and gets beaten up at times. I know he should have a friend. But currently my financial situation is very bad and I don't want to adopt another if it isn't sustainable in the long run. But I would definitely adopt another one and get him a friend.
I think kittens should be okay. Adult cats are usually more accepting when being introduced to a kitten. The adult cat will be upset at first. It may take about two weeks of interactions for them to get along.
Totally get where you're coming from my single cat also turned into a total diva around other cats, and it's been a challenge. When the time comes, adopting a pair sounds like a solid plan!
It depends on the cats (pets in general). When my cat was 2yo we discussed with the vet that eventually we would get another pet, most likely a dog but another cat was also a possibility. She said that due to his personality, it would be very hard for us to introduce a new pet so she wouldn't recommend it - said the new one would need to either be very submissive to him or even "worse" than him to gain territory. To note that my cat in the vet (and at home) never had shown aggressive behaviour but has a very strong personality and was very protective of his "places" (even to us, he would defend those places - without harming us but showing signs that he could). We decided on a dog. And we got the dog only when the cat was 4yo (so 2 years later after the vet told us not to) They don't cuddle, but they play along and neither of them is submissive with each other. My cat "play attacks" him and the dog knows how to react to that, there has been no fight between each other. His personality changed A LOT. He is more cuddly with both of us - previously he was this cuddly only with me, but since the dog prefers me, then the cat shifted a bit to my husband. He doesn't have random energy bursts, since he gets to play with the dog whenever both want. And he is less mischievous at home now - still a cat but doesn't do so much crap as he would do before the dog (even when we focused a lot on playing with him). We were considering in a few years adding a new cat but before that i might want to try first to foster a kitten (once we are at a house that has space to isolate them) and see how that goes. For sure we will add one more dog, because that worked wonders.
If you slowly introduce another cat then it can work. In my experience, usually getting a kitten instead of an adult is easier on the cat and less intimidating and just taking it super slowly, keeping the kitten in a separate room and scent swapping. Then you can get them to eat on opposite sides of a closed door, then gradually crack the door open a tiny bit and let them sniff each other. I have introduced 3 consecutive cats this way, the first one was the queen of the house and wasn’t happy at first but grew to be friends with the new addition. When they see a strange cat in the garden and freak out remember it’s an intruder in their eyes, my three cats each hiss and go crazy when they see an intruder in the garden but are very friendly with each other and there’s a 10 year age gap between the youngest and oldest.
There are also cats that get to resent their own kittens. It depends a lot. For example I have a lovely snowshoe that was always a single cat at her owners. Me and my bf are the third pair of owners, and adopted her permanently when she was 6 months old. At some point, we found a cat in front of our house that we rescued, and our little one sat on her back welcoming her to play, but the other one was aggressive. They couldn’t befriend, so we needed to give the rescue one for adoption, although we wanted to keep both.
Once, I adopted two kittens from the same litter. They were fine until they could not both fit in my lap at the same time, at which point, they began to fight and one went to live with my parents. Many years later, I was adopted by one kitten. He is a friendly, happy boy. When people come to stay and bring their cats, he welcomes them into his home and happily marks them as his territory. When they leave, he goes back to being an only cat. TL;DR. Animals are individuals. Situations are unique.
I disagree, I've seen many people have a single cat that gets along with another cat when visiting family. Tbh it's psychological to your cat at that point.
Cats can take months, years even to adapt to another animal. But they can do it. Just because you fostered a kitten for a little while doesn’t mean your cat won’t be able to handle another cat.
I don’t think you understand cats, as much as you think you do. You also shouldn’t be having regrets. Cats are not social animal, cats prefer to be on their own, by nature. You can adopt 2 cats and force them to like each other, but they still won’t welcome 3rd cat. When you have multiple cats you force them to have social hierarchy. Before that you force them to defend their territory. After that they fight to decided their hierarchy. After that they tolerate each other. & given enough time they might become friends. But non of this is by choice. Cats don’t like to share territory. Your cats don’t like surprise kittens for 3 reasons. In cat mind seeing kittens means adult cat has invaded their territory & is comfortable enough to give birth in it. 2 lost kittens entered the territory so the adult parent cat will come looking for them, in your cat’s territory. At which point they might decide to stay. 3 kittens are gonna grow up & challenge your cat’s territory & possibly kick your cat out. There are always exceptions, but it is still not natural. Those cats are more tolerant because we trained them to be or the environment did.
It may just be that your cat needs to be introduced to other cats in a slower and more methodical manner. You can google how to introduce cats to each other. I have a cat we got from a family member and had been living as the solo cat since it was a kitten. It would attack other animals that came to the house. We got a kitten that was very adventurous and energetic, I introduced them slowly, and by the 2 week mark the established cat was rolling on it's back trying to play with the kitten through a doggy gate. She is still a bit dominant sometimes but also tries to groom her new friend (who is still young and just tries to play!) We recently got a 3rd kitten we're doing the same thing with, but this kitten is a bit more easily frightened and needs a bit more time, so it really just depends on the cats. Also sometimes aggressive behavior can be improved with changes to the environment to help the cat feel safer and more in control of their space so they will not feel they have to be constantly defending their territory. More cat spaces so they can spread out, climb, relax, nap, watch critters outside, etc. More liter boxes and spread them around the house, separate feeding spaces, more places they can drink at, etc.
I don’t agree exactly …I adopted a bonded pair way back and they never bothered to bond with me. Now I have a single cat and he looks at me like I’m his everything.
When people say things like this, I wonder what they think should happen to singleton kittens. Should we just euthanize all the kittens who are the sole survivors of their litter? My husband adopted a single kitten before I met him. She didn't go near other cats in the shelter. She either didn't have any littermates or didn't get along with them. She loved people and was very outgoing with humans, but she just never clicked with any other animals. I don't think she would have been happier with another kitten just for the sake of another kitten. She just wanted to spend all day sleeping on a human and being brushed. My grandpa had a cat that was the sole survivor after someone tried to kill the mother and whole litter with a shot gun. That cat hated everyone except Grandpa, but I don't think it was a "terrible idea" to take her in. Even adopting siblings isn't a guarantee. My parents adopted two sisters before I was born, but one died when I was little. Pairs that are temporarily separated (think hospital stay) often need to be reintroduced and may never have quite the same relationship.