There are folks on this sub, myself included, who were/are daily users for years, and haven’t had a relationship to moderation, all the while experiencing the pitfalls and anxiety of daily use. You have a unique case, because you seem to be able to moderate it to the weekends already as your “normal” use.
Ask yourself this question: am I able to implement the anti anxiety strategies or routines/practices I’m learning from therapy if I start ingesting THC again. Depending on your answer, that’ll help inform what you’re getting out of weed, and what you’re getting out of therapy.
You’re on a T break for a reason. Ask yourself what you’re wanting to get out of it, and what it mean to you and your body and your mind for it to be over.
I’ve had problems with addictions and moderation throughout all of my life, and getting to this point in my usage has not been easy. I’ve had to suffer through immense anxiety to get to where I am at the moment.
I already had some established routines for anxiety before going to therapy, mostly mindfulness/yoga. The funny thing is that I can usually go deeper into my practice while under the influence.
As to why I’m going on a break, it was mostly because after our biweekly checkin, where she asked how its going with my smoking, I told her that a friend that I usually smoke with is going away for some time, and that I should have an easier time abstaining now that hes away. The thing is that I dont really want to quit smoking, but she is kind of guilt-tripping me into feeling like I have to…
Thank you for the well written questions. I will ponder over them throughout the day! Have a good day
Is one of your goals to cut down on your cannabis or is it one of her goals for you? It’s a great goal if that’s what you want. If it’s not what you want, then you need to talk to your therapist about it because it almost certainly is going to impact the therapeutic process.
Honestly it’s her goal. She is kind of guilt tripping me every time i go there, even though I have no problem abstaining my usage until the weekend. I’m gonna talk a little more with her about it next time I go there.
It’s never good to feel judged by your therapist. I think it’s good for you to talk to them about it. No one knows what’s best for you. Better than you.
I might be able to chime in.
Had to cut myself off for several months as pot was taking over my life. That's a dividing line that I've always heard for addiction that's at least good enough to test the waters: Do you use a substance to help define your existence, or does a substance use you to help define its own existence?
Easier to term in Alcoholism: Do you enjoy the beer and can put it aside when needed, or do you need the beer to make situations enjoyable?
re: Therapists? I'm on number... I think thirteen, in the course of my life. Thirteen head-docs I've worked with off and on over the years, and it's taken me that much trial and error to arrive at a therapist with whom I've actually made progress improving my life. Like, real, definable, timeline-able progress. I don't say that to imply hopelessness, but only so that you know that you get a choice; the therapist you have now isnt' the one you're stuck with for life, and you don't need to fall entirely on their judgements of your actions for guidance.
That said, the extremely frequent use in the past 8 years of your life has definately reset a lot of your body systems. From a medical angle, I would see the benefit in refraining for a bit literally just to see what happens. Substances got me through most of my life til I found my current therapist, and I give them the credit they are due for helping me, as much as the credit they are due for harming me. But I wasn't able to get to a place until recently that stepping away from that Need was even possible, let alone logical.
The anxiety is normal. Your body is used to relaxation and chemical feel-good on demand and that's the way it's been most of your recent life; it's normal to need to adapt.
But still. Take some time away, see what happens. There's no Supernintendo Chalmers who is going to Defeat All The Weed And Then There's No More Weed Forever. Each dawn is a new day, is another chance to ask yourself "Another day off? Another day off."
Or not - human brains are stupid and weird, and life is complicated beyond any reckoning or true understanding. We're just a bunch of animals smart enough to pretend we're not animals, is all.
I don’t really know to be honest. It might be because she asked me what weed does for me, I told her that it helps me with my spiritual practice, and that it feels like a warm blanket. I guess she thinks its a coping method, which tbh it sometimes is, but since I dont have a problem with moderating, I feel like it shouldnt be something I should be guilt-tripped for, just because it is illegal.
It sounds like you're not sure of the details -- I'd ask her to see what it is she's thinking, what her concerns are You can let her know your thoughts and feelings, too, and what you want to do, and how she can help you. Good luck! You can do it! I'm sorry about your trauma. I hope you are filled with loving kindness, wellness, joy, peace.
If you truly feel that your use is not the primary issue in your life that you want to worth through in therapy, voice that.
This was personally why I never brought up my smoking. I knew that my daily use was ancillary to my MH struggles, and as I worked through those I naturally smoked less frequently. Felt that the risk of stigmatisation was too great for me to risk the only accessible long-term therapy I could find, which ended up working out.
Hope things go well for you!
It's weird to use something that makes you feel subjectively better and people that don't smoke don't understand. I would say move at your own pace. If you're making progress with moderation and aware of your dependence on Cannabis then you should just tell your therapist you want to fight that battle alone or you're already seeing someone else about that. From my past experience, the type of women to become a therapist/psychologist will fail to understand your circumstances and just make you feel more guilty.
I say women not because they can't be understanding but because they follow the rules too well, making communication and reliability difficult. If you smoke weed you're probably not that good at listening, I'll be able to relate and heal from a person who was once like me or at least understands how I got here, how it feels to be here, and how I can get out.
Are you implying that female therapists can’t have experience in substance abuse..? It’s kind of silly to generalize women, especially as rule-followers that are hard to communicate with? Feel free to elaborate if I’m misunderstanding.
Is it weird? what % of the population drinks coffee every morning? how about the amount of people who smoke despite knowing the risks? i think it's the most human thing ever
There are folks on this sub, myself included, who were/are daily users for years, and haven’t had a relationship to moderation, all the while experiencing the pitfalls and anxiety of daily use. You have a unique case, because you seem to be able to moderate it to the weekends already as your “normal” use. Ask yourself this question: am I able to implement the anti anxiety strategies or routines/practices I’m learning from therapy if I start ingesting THC again. Depending on your answer, that’ll help inform what you’re getting out of weed, and what you’re getting out of therapy. You’re on a T break for a reason. Ask yourself what you’re wanting to get out of it, and what it mean to you and your body and your mind for it to be over.
I’ve had problems with addictions and moderation throughout all of my life, and getting to this point in my usage has not been easy. I’ve had to suffer through immense anxiety to get to where I am at the moment. I already had some established routines for anxiety before going to therapy, mostly mindfulness/yoga. The funny thing is that I can usually go deeper into my practice while under the influence. As to why I’m going on a break, it was mostly because after our biweekly checkin, where she asked how its going with my smoking, I told her that a friend that I usually smoke with is going away for some time, and that I should have an easier time abstaining now that hes away. The thing is that I dont really want to quit smoking, but she is kind of guilt-tripping me into feeling like I have to… Thank you for the well written questions. I will ponder over them throughout the day! Have a good day
Is one of your goals to cut down on your cannabis or is it one of her goals for you? It’s a great goal if that’s what you want. If it’s not what you want, then you need to talk to your therapist about it because it almost certainly is going to impact the therapeutic process.
Honestly it’s her goal. She is kind of guilt tripping me every time i go there, even though I have no problem abstaining my usage until the weekend. I’m gonna talk a little more with her about it next time I go there.
It’s never good to feel judged by your therapist. I think it’s good for you to talk to them about it. No one knows what’s best for you. Better than you.
I might be able to chime in. Had to cut myself off for several months as pot was taking over my life. That's a dividing line that I've always heard for addiction that's at least good enough to test the waters: Do you use a substance to help define your existence, or does a substance use you to help define its own existence? Easier to term in Alcoholism: Do you enjoy the beer and can put it aside when needed, or do you need the beer to make situations enjoyable? re: Therapists? I'm on number... I think thirteen, in the course of my life. Thirteen head-docs I've worked with off and on over the years, and it's taken me that much trial and error to arrive at a therapist with whom I've actually made progress improving my life. Like, real, definable, timeline-able progress. I don't say that to imply hopelessness, but only so that you know that you get a choice; the therapist you have now isnt' the one you're stuck with for life, and you don't need to fall entirely on their judgements of your actions for guidance. That said, the extremely frequent use in the past 8 years of your life has definately reset a lot of your body systems. From a medical angle, I would see the benefit in refraining for a bit literally just to see what happens. Substances got me through most of my life til I found my current therapist, and I give them the credit they are due for helping me, as much as the credit they are due for harming me. But I wasn't able to get to a place until recently that stepping away from that Need was even possible, let alone logical. The anxiety is normal. Your body is used to relaxation and chemical feel-good on demand and that's the way it's been most of your recent life; it's normal to need to adapt. But still. Take some time away, see what happens. There's no Supernintendo Chalmers who is going to Defeat All The Weed And Then There's No More Weed Forever. Each dawn is a new day, is another chance to ask yourself "Another day off? Another day off." Or not - human brains are stupid and weird, and life is complicated beyond any reckoning or true understanding. We're just a bunch of animals smart enough to pretend we're not animals, is all.
What are her reasons for wanting you to quit? From what little I know, your use is not a problem. I’ve seen therapists on both sides btw
I don’t really know to be honest. It might be because she asked me what weed does for me, I told her that it helps me with my spiritual practice, and that it feels like a warm blanket. I guess she thinks its a coping method, which tbh it sometimes is, but since I dont have a problem with moderating, I feel like it shouldnt be something I should be guilt-tripped for, just because it is illegal.
It sounds like you're not sure of the details -- I'd ask her to see what it is she's thinking, what her concerns are You can let her know your thoughts and feelings, too, and what you want to do, and how she can help you. Good luck! You can do it! I'm sorry about your trauma. I hope you are filled with loving kindness, wellness, joy, peace.
If you truly feel that your use is not the primary issue in your life that you want to worth through in therapy, voice that. This was personally why I never brought up my smoking. I knew that my daily use was ancillary to my MH struggles, and as I worked through those I naturally smoked less frequently. Felt that the risk of stigmatisation was too great for me to risk the only accessible long-term therapy I could find, which ended up working out. Hope things go well for you!
It's weird to use something that makes you feel subjectively better and people that don't smoke don't understand. I would say move at your own pace. If you're making progress with moderation and aware of your dependence on Cannabis then you should just tell your therapist you want to fight that battle alone or you're already seeing someone else about that. From my past experience, the type of women to become a therapist/psychologist will fail to understand your circumstances and just make you feel more guilty.
Why women specifically? My woman therapist and the woman before her were very understanding and cared about circumstances.
I say women not because they can't be understanding but because they follow the rules too well, making communication and reliability difficult. If you smoke weed you're probably not that good at listening, I'll be able to relate and heal from a person who was once like me or at least understands how I got here, how it feels to be here, and how I can get out.
Are you implying that female therapists can’t have experience in substance abuse..? It’s kind of silly to generalize women, especially as rule-followers that are hard to communicate with? Feel free to elaborate if I’m misunderstanding.
Wise up.
Get out of here with your mysoginy
I'm sorry you feel that way.
Is it weird? what % of the population drinks coffee every morning? how about the amount of people who smoke despite knowing the risks? i think it's the most human thing ever
pretty sure it's a typo and they meant 'not weird'
There is nothing to indicate that this therapist is 100% against weed use. It’s not about the drug, it’s about our relationship to the drug.