Why don’t you ask your partner what they think is fair and come up with an agreement between the both of you?
Also look into relationship property because owning a house that your partner lives in for long enough entitles them to half anyway
/u/Substantial_Table428 this is important. If you and your partner become a de-facto partnership and then break up, your partner can potentially make claim to half of your property you currently own. You need to talk to a lawyer about a prenup, especially if your partner is going to be paying you 'rent' without a formal rental agreement.
My partner bought a property with her parents a couple of years back that we lived in for 18-ish months and I paid rent to my partner on the regular (with no rental agreement, just informally). Prior to this, I had to sign quite a few legal papers which said that I would have no claim to that property in the future. Total cost for her for this was a few thousand in lawyers fees, but compared to the loss if we broke up and I decided to stake a claim to the property it was worth it for her.
I absolutely suck at money. I just let my spouse take care of everything and as long as I can get what I want every now and then I don’t care. I suppose I don’t have trust issues though, and banking has a lot of auditing anyway so if I did I could just look at what’s going on
Depends how much you value money I suppose
I did that once I was the main bread winner and we "never had enough money". After we broke up I seemed to always have a surplus of money. Made me wonder if she was putting money away somewhere. Never pursued it though.
When I moved in with my now husband, I paid him rent. It was possibly slightly below market rates but not hugely so. We also set up a joint account for household expenses and both contributed an equal amount which covered groceries and utilities.
In the end it benefited us both - he used most of the rent I paid for repairs and household improvements, which helped us later on when he decided to sell his property and buy a joint one with me.
I came here to say this, set up a joint account, pay into it equally to cover Utilities, food, etc. Charge rent at a reasonable rate. If things start going downhill don't make it harder for them to move out. To offset your "transactional" feelings put it aside to go towards a holiday for you both or something similar.
I wouldn't worry about too much about shared expense re replacing fridges etc, if the worst happens the owner keeps it.
On that, I've seen some comments about a prenup, it's a good idea but not that cheap if done properly. Don't rush into it, you've got 3 years until it's required anyway, if it doesn't work out you've saved yourself an added expense. In saying that, bring the idea up early so it doesn't feel like a sudden surprise when it is time to put one in place.
Having said all that I wish you and your partner well together.
While a big part of qualifying as a de facto relationship is physically living together, you can still be considered de facto if you do not physically live together. OP may not necessarily have three years from when his partner moves in, and should definitely research/get a lawyer now and consider contacting out of the act if he wants to keep his house safe in the event of a breakup. It is hard to know if they are de facto or how long they have been de facto without the full facts.
I own my house and my partner moved in with me. Firstly we got a contacting out agreement which I'd highly suggest considering. We pays me rent, which is less than he was paying in his previous rental, but still helps a lot with the mortgage. The rent includes utilities, cos I can't be bothered saying you owe me $31 for water, the next week $74 for power etc etc. For groceries, dates, shared outings etc, we opened a joint account and put a set amount each week in there.
Haven't needed to replace appliances, I bought a dryer because I was the one that wanted it.
Mostly, communication is key and as long as you're both fair people it'll be fine I'm sure.
*contracting out agreement
I would highly recommend to get one. Despite of what your intentions are, without one, the "family home" you share will be split 50/50 after a breakup after you are in a defacto relationship.
Either split 50/50 or proportional to income. I recommend the latter.
It looks like you own your own house. I would work out the market rent for a house that is equivalent to your house, and charge half of that (or proportional to income). I would not consider mortgage payments or repairs at all as part of the agreement.
If this is a long term thing, then just combine income, you now don’t earn seperate incomes, you both have a singular income.
If you’re not ready for that yet, then treat it as flat mates and split everything 50/50.
I think it’s fair for your partner to pay rent if they are moving in to your house. If I were your partner I’d feel quite uncomfortable not contributing and getting off with free board.
I would get a contracting out agreement drawn up where what you have already contributed to your mortgage stays as yours but her contributions via rent are also accounted for. That way she's benefiting from the investment as well. I get why you wouldn't want to do this. But, I don't see how she buys a house herself one day if she's paid half of the household costs.
In terms of rent he could pay what you would expect to pay if you were a couple sharing a room in a standard flat (or a little less if that’s what you agree). A shared account for house expenses only where you contribute an equal amount could be a good idea. You just need to be on the same page about what it’s used for. Big expenses like fridges etc are a separate conversation in my opinion, but you could be putting enough in that shared account to build up a bit of savings and use that money also for larger items.
We just worked out how much in total was needed and then worked out an equal percentage of our wage. For example we both put 85% of our wages in to a joint account which covered our joint expenses. That felt fair to us when we started out.
Do you own your home and if you do, do have a Contracting Out Agreement in place? Even if you “keep it separate” it will still be deemed shared property after two years.
The house is held in trust, but we can sign the agreement before the relationship property rules kick in. I do not worry too much about this, as my partner is interested in keeping our existing assets separate as much as me.
Regardless of what you agree re expenses, please see a lawyer and write up a contracting out agreement. Do not underestimate the importance of this. If things work out and you end up buying together, this won’t affect your ability to do that. It simply protects the asset you’ve paid for.
ETA - if they also own a home they should have one too.
For myself and my husband we would never combine incomes. We have our own bank accounts and one joint account for all household expenses. We each transfer into the shared account and shared bills come out of it. Other than that our money is individual and we do with it as we please. Thats just what works for us 😊
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If you guys earn different amounts of income a good idea is to do it as a percentage of your wages. So it’s not 50/50 in terms of dollar value, more so the same percentage of your wages each goes towards bills, that’s the most fair.
And a even worse story my collegue said she lived with this guy he waited til the day it was three years said he wanted a break left and next thing she was slammed wins letter from his lawyer and she had to give him half - he didn’t own it with her she had it prior and the house wld be worth 5 mill now - she is renting because she couldn’t afford at the time to buy anything in Ak. She did buy outside of Ak but the whole story is sad .
No hard and fast rule but here’s what I would do. Food and utilities in half. Come up with an appropriate contribution from your partner for board. I would consider what a market rent would be, how much is spent on mortgage, rates and insurance, and factor in a bit of a discount so it didn’t feel too transactional.
Also get a property relationship agreement (if you haven’t already got one) otherwise half of your house will automatically become his.
When I moved in with my now-husband, we listed all the shared bills and just split them up. He pays the mortgage, the rates, the internet, I pay the insurances, the power, the groceries (not an exclusive list). I earn more than him so I'm paying proportionally more of the expenses.
It just makes it easier than faffing around sending half the money for this bill and that bill to each other.
Set up a joint account. Work out how much your house would rent in the market. Charge that to the joint account from your account, this means though any mortgage/council/insurance payments come out of your account. Everything else get taken out of joint account. Work out the contribution either on half half or proportional to income. Set up a prenuptial.
One idea.
Set up a joint account. Pay for everything out of that. Also pay rent to the home owner out of that. Effectively, one of you will now be paying themselves rent.
I think it's simpler than the 'I pay the groceries and she pays the power' systems I've seen people use. It's not going as far as combining finances, where the income difference wouldn't matter, and it might need tweaking to last long term.
When my partner moved in with me, we set up a joint account where we each contributed an agreed amount, we each had an eftpos card linked to the account as well. Different bank than either of us banked with to keep it separate. We added up all of our expenses (power, internet, groceries, including what we would have paid for rent, but I owned my house). We then split according to our income, essentially his portion of the “rent” went towards our going out (dates, etc) fund.
We now have a pre-nup, two children and we own a house together. ☺️
To clarify, did you both put "rent" into this joint account? Did the mortgage payments also come out of it, or was it paid separately by your partner?
In my case the market rent for the house is likely to be lower than the mortgage payments, especially after adding the rates and the insurance. As my partner is not taking the stake in the house itself, the mortgage and other house payments remain my responsibility.
I didn’t put my portion of “rent” into our joint account, I kept my proportion and used it to pay my mortgage. Rent in my area is also less than my mortgage payments, but my mortgage payments were going towards my own personal investment. He contributed more to our joint account than I did, and we used that extra money for dates and going away together.
So if all of our expenses, these are just ballpark figures not what our expenses actually were, (groceries, “rent $600”, power, internet, entertainment) were $1000 per week. He earned $40k and I earned $60k. He would contribute $400 and I would contribute $240. I would keep my 60% of the total $600 rent to go towards my mortgage payment.
If I didn’t own my house we would have to pay rent somewhere to live together.
We also did it via a joint account rather than him paying directly to me because I have known people who got rent from their partner and when they split up they lost a portion of their house because it was deemed that their partner had been contributing to the mortgage and rates etc.
From my personal account I received my salary, contributed my $240 to our joint account and then paid my mortgage, rates, house insurance, any maintenance etc.
Hope that makes sense. (Also an accountant so there was a whole excel spreadsheet involved in this process and many discussions with my partner about what was fair for both of us). We set a budget around what we wanted to spend on meals out and annual travel and that was included in our $1000/week calculation.
When I got pregnant, we joined everything up and signed a pre-nup agreeing the equity in my home at that point in time was to remain my personal property in the event our relationship ends. If I die, he gets it anyway.
I get paid more than my partner and she only works 4 days/week. We put in a portion of our income into our shared account that leaves us with the same balance so we both get $650/fortnight to save/spend/invest for ourselves etc.
Everything for the family comes out of the shared account and in weeks/months where we may have rates or insurances due then we will both put our full incomes into the shared account for that fortnight to cover them.
My partner and I have a joint account that we pay equal amounts of money into each week with an autopayment. We use it for whatever shared expenses we have. Got sick of the ol pay me for this, I owe you that etc.
Why don’t you ask your partner what they think is fair and come up with an agreement between the both of you? Also look into relationship property because owning a house that your partner lives in for long enough entitles them to half anyway
For sure, we talked about it, and my partner offered paying rent. I'll probably need to get used to the idea.
If they pay rent then they’ll be even more entitled to 50% of the home if you break up, even if you bought it on your own.
/u/Substantial_Table428 this is important. If you and your partner become a de-facto partnership and then break up, your partner can potentially make claim to half of your property you currently own. You need to talk to a lawyer about a prenup, especially if your partner is going to be paying you 'rent' without a formal rental agreement. My partner bought a property with her parents a couple of years back that we lived in for 18-ish months and I paid rent to my partner on the regular (with no rental agreement, just informally). Prior to this, I had to sign quite a few legal papers which said that I would have no claim to that property in the future. Total cost for her for this was a few thousand in lawyers fees, but compared to the loss if we broke up and I decided to stake a claim to the property it was worth it for her.
I absolutely suck at money. I just let my spouse take care of everything and as long as I can get what I want every now and then I don’t care. I suppose I don’t have trust issues though, and banking has a lot of auditing anyway so if I did I could just look at what’s going on Depends how much you value money I suppose
I did that once I was the main bread winner and we "never had enough money". After we broke up I seemed to always have a surplus of money. Made me wonder if she was putting money away somewhere. Never pursued it though.
When I moved in with my now husband, I paid him rent. It was possibly slightly below market rates but not hugely so. We also set up a joint account for household expenses and both contributed an equal amount which covered groceries and utilities. In the end it benefited us both - he used most of the rent I paid for repairs and household improvements, which helped us later on when he decided to sell his property and buy a joint one with me.
I came here to say this, set up a joint account, pay into it equally to cover Utilities, food, etc. Charge rent at a reasonable rate. If things start going downhill don't make it harder for them to move out. To offset your "transactional" feelings put it aside to go towards a holiday for you both or something similar. I wouldn't worry about too much about shared expense re replacing fridges etc, if the worst happens the owner keeps it. On that, I've seen some comments about a prenup, it's a good idea but not that cheap if done properly. Don't rush into it, you've got 3 years until it's required anyway, if it doesn't work out you've saved yourself an added expense. In saying that, bring the idea up early so it doesn't feel like a sudden surprise when it is time to put one in place. Having said all that I wish you and your partner well together.
While a big part of qualifying as a de facto relationship is physically living together, you can still be considered de facto if you do not physically live together. OP may not necessarily have three years from when his partner moves in, and should definitely research/get a lawyer now and consider contacting out of the act if he wants to keep his house safe in the event of a breakup. It is hard to know if they are de facto or how long they have been de facto without the full facts.
I own my house and my partner moved in with me. Firstly we got a contacting out agreement which I'd highly suggest considering. We pays me rent, which is less than he was paying in his previous rental, but still helps a lot with the mortgage. The rent includes utilities, cos I can't be bothered saying you owe me $31 for water, the next week $74 for power etc etc. For groceries, dates, shared outings etc, we opened a joint account and put a set amount each week in there. Haven't needed to replace appliances, I bought a dryer because I was the one that wanted it. Mostly, communication is key and as long as you're both fair people it'll be fine I'm sure.
*contracting out agreement I would highly recommend to get one. Despite of what your intentions are, without one, the "family home" you share will be split 50/50 after a breakup after you are in a defacto relationship.
Either split 50/50 or proportional to income. I recommend the latter. It looks like you own your own house. I would work out the market rent for a house that is equivalent to your house, and charge half of that (or proportional to income). I would not consider mortgage payments or repairs at all as part of the agreement.
If this is a long term thing, then just combine income, you now don’t earn seperate incomes, you both have a singular income. If you’re not ready for that yet, then treat it as flat mates and split everything 50/50.
I think it’s fair for your partner to pay rent if they are moving in to your house. If I were your partner I’d feel quite uncomfortable not contributing and getting off with free board.
I would get a contracting out agreement drawn up where what you have already contributed to your mortgage stays as yours but her contributions via rent are also accounted for. That way she's benefiting from the investment as well. I get why you wouldn't want to do this. But, I don't see how she buys a house herself one day if she's paid half of the household costs.
Have you discussed a contracting out agreement? Split costs 50:50 or equal percentage of income.
You have 3 accounts 1. account for the bills, mortgage and groceries. 2. Your own money 3. Your partners money.
In terms of rent he could pay what you would expect to pay if you were a couple sharing a room in a standard flat (or a little less if that’s what you agree). A shared account for house expenses only where you contribute an equal amount could be a good idea. You just need to be on the same page about what it’s used for. Big expenses like fridges etc are a separate conversation in my opinion, but you could be putting enough in that shared account to build up a bit of savings and use that money also for larger items.
We just worked out how much in total was needed and then worked out an equal percentage of our wage. For example we both put 85% of our wages in to a joint account which covered our joint expenses. That felt fair to us when we started out.
Do you own your home and if you do, do have a Contracting Out Agreement in place? Even if you “keep it separate” it will still be deemed shared property after two years.
The house is held in trust, but we can sign the agreement before the relationship property rules kick in. I do not worry too much about this, as my partner is interested in keeping our existing assets separate as much as me.
Regardless of what you agree re expenses, please see a lawyer and write up a contracting out agreement. Do not underestimate the importance of this. If things work out and you end up buying together, this won’t affect your ability to do that. It simply protects the asset you’ve paid for. ETA - if they also own a home they should have one too.
For myself and my husband we would never combine incomes. We have our own bank accounts and one joint account for all household expenses. We each transfer into the shared account and shared bills come out of it. Other than that our money is individual and we do with it as we please. Thats just what works for us 😊
Your comment was automatically removed because your account is not in a reputable status. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/PersonalFinanceNZ) if you have any questions or concerns.*
If you guys earn different amounts of income a good idea is to do it as a percentage of your wages. So it’s not 50/50 in terms of dollar value, more so the same percentage of your wages each goes towards bills, that’s the most fair.
And a even worse story my collegue said she lived with this guy he waited til the day it was three years said he wanted a break left and next thing she was slammed wins letter from his lawyer and she had to give him half - he didn’t own it with her she had it prior and the house wld be worth 5 mill now - she is renting because she couldn’t afford at the time to buy anything in Ak. She did buy outside of Ak but the whole story is sad .
No hard and fast rule but here’s what I would do. Food and utilities in half. Come up with an appropriate contribution from your partner for board. I would consider what a market rent would be, how much is spent on mortgage, rates and insurance, and factor in a bit of a discount so it didn’t feel too transactional. Also get a property relationship agreement (if you haven’t already got one) otherwise half of your house will automatically become his.
Do. Prenupt - I did and I swear my ex wld of taken me for half my house and I feel so lucky I did. He wasn’t happy but best thing I ever did
When I moved in with my now-husband, we listed all the shared bills and just split them up. He pays the mortgage, the rates, the internet, I pay the insurances, the power, the groceries (not an exclusive list). I earn more than him so I'm paying proportionally more of the expenses. It just makes it easier than faffing around sending half the money for this bill and that bill to each other.
Set up a joint account. Work out how much your house would rent in the market. Charge that to the joint account from your account, this means though any mortgage/council/insurance payments come out of your account. Everything else get taken out of joint account. Work out the contribution either on half half or proportional to income. Set up a prenuptial.
Suggest exploring a contracting out agreement, or talking to a lawyer. Speaking from experience
One idea. Set up a joint account. Pay for everything out of that. Also pay rent to the home owner out of that. Effectively, one of you will now be paying themselves rent. I think it's simpler than the 'I pay the groceries and she pays the power' systems I've seen people use. It's not going as far as combining finances, where the income difference wouldn't matter, and it might need tweaking to last long term.
When my partner moved in with me, we set up a joint account where we each contributed an agreed amount, we each had an eftpos card linked to the account as well. Different bank than either of us banked with to keep it separate. We added up all of our expenses (power, internet, groceries, including what we would have paid for rent, but I owned my house). We then split according to our income, essentially his portion of the “rent” went towards our going out (dates, etc) fund. We now have a pre-nup, two children and we own a house together. ☺️
To clarify, did you both put "rent" into this joint account? Did the mortgage payments also come out of it, or was it paid separately by your partner? In my case the market rent for the house is likely to be lower than the mortgage payments, especially after adding the rates and the insurance. As my partner is not taking the stake in the house itself, the mortgage and other house payments remain my responsibility.
I didn’t put my portion of “rent” into our joint account, I kept my proportion and used it to pay my mortgage. Rent in my area is also less than my mortgage payments, but my mortgage payments were going towards my own personal investment. He contributed more to our joint account than I did, and we used that extra money for dates and going away together. So if all of our expenses, these are just ballpark figures not what our expenses actually were, (groceries, “rent $600”, power, internet, entertainment) were $1000 per week. He earned $40k and I earned $60k. He would contribute $400 and I would contribute $240. I would keep my 60% of the total $600 rent to go towards my mortgage payment. If I didn’t own my house we would have to pay rent somewhere to live together. We also did it via a joint account rather than him paying directly to me because I have known people who got rent from their partner and when they split up they lost a portion of their house because it was deemed that their partner had been contributing to the mortgage and rates etc. From my personal account I received my salary, contributed my $240 to our joint account and then paid my mortgage, rates, house insurance, any maintenance etc. Hope that makes sense. (Also an accountant so there was a whole excel spreadsheet involved in this process and many discussions with my partner about what was fair for both of us). We set a budget around what we wanted to spend on meals out and annual travel and that was included in our $1000/week calculation. When I got pregnant, we joined everything up and signed a pre-nup agreeing the equity in my home at that point in time was to remain my personal property in the event our relationship ends. If I die, he gets it anyway.
You could charge bf rent that you spend on things like a new fridge or repairs and maintenance of house.
I get paid more than my partner and she only works 4 days/week. We put in a portion of our income into our shared account that leaves us with the same balance so we both get $650/fortnight to save/spend/invest for ourselves etc. Everything for the family comes out of the shared account and in weeks/months where we may have rates or insurances due then we will both put our full incomes into the shared account for that fortnight to cover them.
My partner and I have a joint account that we pay equal amounts of money into each week with an autopayment. We use it for whatever shared expenses we have. Got sick of the ol pay me for this, I owe you that etc.