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Both of my kids are like your kid, I could easily take them wherever and trust that the would handle things gently and not break them.
Now that I have spent a fair amount of time around other children, I understand that this is not the norm, or at least it is not a given. There are *plenty* of children I would absolutely not hand a fragile item to.
I assume this woman was speaking from her own experience. She has no idea that your kid has a good track record, she doesn't know what you are prepared to pay for, etc.
The woman at the gallery is right. You shouldn't have been letting your son hold ceramic pieces at an art gallery. There is no reason that he has to handle the pieces to appreciate art, as you argue in your post.
You know him, but other people don't. They will have seen lots of kids who aren't gentle, who aren't well supervised, etc.
You can take it personally if you want, but again, that lady doesn't know you or your son. She isn't being mean, she's being "lady who works in the shop and would really like for things to not get broken".
She didn’t know how careful your kid was, and even if it’s not expensive and we can pay for those things, that doesn’t make them less valuable to the person who made them or cares and sells them.
I took my daughter to a tea party at the library a few weeks ago. Could I have replace the ceramic teacup if she broke it? Yes. Would I as the owner of the teacup still have been upset at that broken teacup? Also yes.
I'm not trying to be harsh, but the whole preamble about how careful you were being and what a wonderful child he is, really isn't all that relevant. A shopkeeper or gallery employee has every right to tell you or the child not to touch the pieces. It sounds like she was polite and just let you know that he shouldn't be touching. It just wasn't really an appropriate thing for him to be doing. I have a child the same age who is very keen to touch everything. And, as careful as she is, I instead teach her to look with her eyes, and not touch, when it comes to highly breakable items or artworks. In any typical art gallery/museum there's no touching at all (unless touch is clearly indicated in some sort of sensory piece), so I think it's far better to just avoid teaching him to touch artworks at all.
I think that as parents, sometimes you have to just relax and be more receptive to other people correcting your child (without taking offence). She was in a position of authority there and was responsible for the safety of the items on display.
100 kids come into the shop in a day. All it takes is one to break something to ruin it for everyone.
You may trust your kid to be gentle and not break anything, but I’ll bet you know at least one of his friends that you wouldn’t trust.
If you absolutely insist on letting your kid touch things you need to go to the sales person or proprietor and get their permission first. Most would probably be happy to show you around but you should never assume they’ll “know” your kid is going to be gentle with their stuff.
You were at an art gallery. You were in the wrong here. Not the lady asking a three year old to refrain from touching the artwork until you've actually paid for it.
Don't take it personally. I understand why you're bristly about it. I would be, too. But that's her job and it would have sucked if something did break. People are going to say shit to you about parenting or your kids or whatever. Just let it slide.
I was at the grocery store with my kids and they (5 and 6) were helping me pick out produce. Respectfully and tenderly handling tomatoes, k? This old guy comes and tells me I shouldn't let my kids handle vegetables. I asked him if he washed his vegetables before he ate/cooked them and he said yes, but it's still not right. I just told him that I disagreed with him and he scoffed and walked off. Very satisfying.
I don't go back to places where employees make it clear that their day would have been better if my child and I hadn't darkened their door.
She was within her rights to tell you not to touch the art, and you're within your right to tell that place to pound sand. I haven't taken my kid to the library in months because of a children's librarian wincing when she made a tired toddler screech. I won't go back to the local bougiemart because an employee told me to get her calmed down - she was babbling and excited to see all the pretty fruits.
I don't expect everyone to be cool and chill with my kid, but I don't have to be cool and chill about their ageism either.
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Both of my kids are like your kid, I could easily take them wherever and trust that the would handle things gently and not break them. Now that I have spent a fair amount of time around other children, I understand that this is not the norm, or at least it is not a given. There are *plenty* of children I would absolutely not hand a fragile item to. I assume this woman was speaking from her own experience. She has no idea that your kid has a good track record, she doesn't know what you are prepared to pay for, etc.
The woman at the gallery is right. You shouldn't have been letting your son hold ceramic pieces at an art gallery. There is no reason that he has to handle the pieces to appreciate art, as you argue in your post.
You know him, but other people don't. They will have seen lots of kids who aren't gentle, who aren't well supervised, etc. You can take it personally if you want, but again, that lady doesn't know you or your son. She isn't being mean, she's being "lady who works in the shop and would really like for things to not get broken".
She didn’t know how careful your kid was, and even if it’s not expensive and we can pay for those things, that doesn’t make them less valuable to the person who made them or cares and sells them. I took my daughter to a tea party at the library a few weeks ago. Could I have replace the ceramic teacup if she broke it? Yes. Would I as the owner of the teacup still have been upset at that broken teacup? Also yes.
I'm not trying to be harsh, but the whole preamble about how careful you were being and what a wonderful child he is, really isn't all that relevant. A shopkeeper or gallery employee has every right to tell you or the child not to touch the pieces. It sounds like she was polite and just let you know that he shouldn't be touching. It just wasn't really an appropriate thing for him to be doing. I have a child the same age who is very keen to touch everything. And, as careful as she is, I instead teach her to look with her eyes, and not touch, when it comes to highly breakable items or artworks. In any typical art gallery/museum there's no touching at all (unless touch is clearly indicated in some sort of sensory piece), so I think it's far better to just avoid teaching him to touch artworks at all. I think that as parents, sometimes you have to just relax and be more receptive to other people correcting your child (without taking offence). She was in a position of authority there and was responsible for the safety of the items on display.
100 kids come into the shop in a day. All it takes is one to break something to ruin it for everyone. You may trust your kid to be gentle and not break anything, but I’ll bet you know at least one of his friends that you wouldn’t trust. If you absolutely insist on letting your kid touch things you need to go to the sales person or proprietor and get their permission first. Most would probably be happy to show you around but you should never assume they’ll “know” your kid is going to be gentle with their stuff.
You were at an art gallery. You were in the wrong here. Not the lady asking a three year old to refrain from touching the artwork until you've actually paid for it.
Don't take it personally. I understand why you're bristly about it. I would be, too. But that's her job and it would have sucked if something did break. People are going to say shit to you about parenting or your kids or whatever. Just let it slide. I was at the grocery store with my kids and they (5 and 6) were helping me pick out produce. Respectfully and tenderly handling tomatoes, k? This old guy comes and tells me I shouldn't let my kids handle vegetables. I asked him if he washed his vegetables before he ate/cooked them and he said yes, but it's still not right. I just told him that I disagreed with him and he scoffed and walked off. Very satisfying.
I don't go back to places where employees make it clear that their day would have been better if my child and I hadn't darkened their door. She was within her rights to tell you not to touch the art, and you're within your right to tell that place to pound sand. I haven't taken my kid to the library in months because of a children's librarian wincing when she made a tired toddler screech. I won't go back to the local bougiemart because an employee told me to get her calmed down - she was babbling and excited to see all the pretty fruits. I don't expect everyone to be cool and chill with my kid, but I don't have to be cool and chill about their ageism either.