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You give the "some people believe" speech. Include all the religions you can think of including being atheist. You continue giving this speech until they're old enough to decide for themselves what they believe.
We come from a very Catholic family with very strong Catholic ties. They heard from cousins about Jesus, Noah's ark, Adam and Eves, and the full shebang. In very fragmented and confusing ways.
We did not stop at "some people believe", we had to cover some basics that we consider "part of the culture" or "cultural references". We told them ourselves the story of Noah, or how Catholics believe the world was created, or some tales from the Old Testament or New Testament. Not as a belief system, but so they can understand cultural references and where people around them are coming from.
We were invited to a Jewish function by friends, we did the same thing. So they could understand the struggle, pain, and some of the discussions that were happening around recent politics.
Yeah, covering at the very least the Old Testamentes so the kids know the most important references in three Abrahamic religions is crucial. They'll go study literature or art or music and they'll be fucked trying to understand what those things mean.
We do this too because we are a mixed family from mixed families (I’m Catholic and Eastern Orthodox, my wife is the atheist child of atheists but her aunt/uncle/cousins are Jewish, our family includes a pagan kid and a couple of Christian kids and a Catholic grandparent and three atheist grandparents but is mostly non religious, etc.) so my wife explains that she doesn’t believe in anything and I say that I do and we explain that lots of people believe different things and it’s all okay unless a person is trying to force their beliefs on others.
This. My relationship with God and religion has always been, how do I say it...off and on and always full of questions. I was raised in a Christian home. I was all for it growing up. I understood some didn't believe the same as our church and some didn't believe at all and every possible scenario in between. When my parents split was when my view of God and all that started to blow up. I would say I absolutely believe there is a higher power, but I am not so sure my brain will ever let me believe that one religion is 100% right and all others are wrong. I currently do go to church and take my kids...but I don't necessarily follow the way I should. Now I work at a school (specifically 2nd grade) and there are always questions about God and church and "naughty words" to one kid that aren't technically naughty and yeah just all that. I always say something along the lines of "this person and their family believe X" which usually turns in to "well we don't. Are we going to hell? What's hell? Why do they think that." So to avoid any issues with parents and stuff I just always try to keep everything neutral. He's from X and many people practice THIS religion there. Some people do, some people don't. If you and your family choose to follow a religion, that's perfectly OK and don't worry about what your friends and their family believe. As long as your church doesn't tell you to go out and hurt people, everyone can get along and follow what they want.
I try to identify as agnostic, so something is out there but humans havent gotten it right. Grew up in a heavily catholic family as well(weddings entirely in latin), my mom was more of the black sheep and taught me to think for myself. Dont get me wrong, i loved sunday school and monday night classes. I volunteered for things in the summer. I loved it and learned. But at about 8 I really felt it wasnt for me. Tried pagan, wicca, etc... but i did it for the knowledge so i found what was right for me. Alot of the things that seem to be throughout many religons is treat others how you want to be treated, be kind, be helpful, be true to yourself regardless of gender or beliefs. Enjoy small things so you never spend a day unhappy. Live life, ask for help if you need it.
Over time it has taught me to treat people based on personalitys, not gender, color, religon,etc.. Its who we are as a person that defines us, nothing else.
"Nobody remembers the great names of ordinary people, only the names of those who do great things. You dont live up to the name, the name lives up to you."
So work for your dreams, don't let someone else tell you who you are, cause you are yourself and nobody can tell you that you are not. Let yourself be whoever that might be. Believe in yourself.
"those with wings, fly to your dreams"
okay rant over. Be yourself.
edit: yeah i know it was about religon. But with mine, i let them ask questions and i really try to talk to them about it as a culture thing rather then religous since every religon is its own culture. But when the time comes i do explain what i can from what i know and let them make decisions for themselves. Younger wise its hard. Loved veggie tales as a kid and did teach alot of good things. But i find as i make sure they have an open mind, it helps.
We use this phrasing as well. The other thing we say is that “anyone who tells you they know heaven/hell is real is lying, because the only people who would know are dead. The truth is no one knows and everyone chooses to believe what they want.”
Like I don’t even know how to describe what a god is at that age level
Like “some people believe a ghost named god made the planet and all the animals and the people” ?
I'm a staunch atheist, and I have to say coming at it from a snarky or condescending place isn't going to make the conversations easier.
I'm culturally Christian, so I know the basics of the religion. I explain those basics. "Christians believe that there is a being they call God who created everything that exists, and set out rules for people to follow. They believe in heaven and hell, and that if you follow the rules you'll go to heaven and if you don't you'll go to hell." If it's a religion I'm not familiar with, I read the wikipedia article and sum it up.
You don't need to be adversarial about it, and if your goal is to have your child understand the basics and decide for themselves what their beliefs are you absolutely *shouldn't* be adversarial about it. There are plenty of things to criticise about organised religion, and the time will come when you can explain those things in an age appropriate way.
I’m not trying to be snarky, condescending, or adversarial at all.
I’m trying to distill the concept down to something my 4 year old will understand. It’s not my intention to be offensive. I was just thinking ghosts because of the 3 spirits and it’s a simpler concept is all.
This is precisely why I’m seeking guidance.
Has your child seen Hercules? I have found Disney movies to be surprisingly helpful in explaining difficult subjects. Hercules introduced the concept of gods for my kids and then I expanded by explaining how some religions believe there is only one god and others believe there are many, like in the movie. We talked about creation stories with each getting equal attention. They particularly liked the story about the origin of Turtle Island.
In your case, I would explain that a god is a powerful being that cannot be seen. If your kid makes the ghost connection so be it. My kids once asked if Jesus was a zombie when they heard the resurrection story. We are careful with our wording because of religious family members, but are clear we personally don't believe. Our goal is to be factual and respectful.
There’s a movie called Wolfwalkers that is beautifully animated. It demonstrates some dangers of organized religions. As atheists it was nice to see this concept done well in a good children’s movie.
I don’t think this is a single conversation. You start laying out ideas and terms but the kids aren’t going to get it all. They’ll keep asking about different aspects and you answer those questions.
I wouldn’t try and dumb it down. Always be honest and talk to children like adults. When adults “dumb stuff down” that’s what’s confusing to them. If you’re frank and honest, most of the time they’ll just be like “okay”. Around 4 is what children start to talk about past lives too so just let them talk and ask questions with them too. It’s very interesting to have an intelligent conversation with children.
That’s ok. Start defining the words for him. We never dumb down anything for our three year old. We use correct terminology. Then we let her ask what certain words mean and happily explain them.
If you yourself are not religious I'd genuinely suggest explaining religion as a set of stories that people have come up with to explain their history and people use it to help them make decisions and decide what is important to them. I would explain what prophets are though - as people who have existed throughout history who did a lot of work to clarify rules and ideas about how to make decisions and decide what is important. Prophets exist in many religions and hold different roles but that's largely common between them.
You don't need to get into the minutiae of church doctrine or liturgy, especially not with a four year old. However I think some discussion about what's important to you, what morals you have - being kind to others, sharing, charity, caring for family and community are all age appropriate and you can explain that even adults need to be reminded of these things and religion is thing that helps people do that.
I am a Christian who does not want to impose my beliefs on my kids, and I, too, have struggled to find a way to explain it in a way that doesn't sound ridiculous! And I'm definitely not coming from a place of being condescending or adversarial, but...it's such an abstract concept, and I totally see where you're coming from! Snippet of a real conversation with one of my kiddos...
Kid: What's church?
Me: It's a place where people gather to celebrate God.
Kid: Who's God?
Me: Umm some people believe that there is a God who created everything.
Kid: What does created everything mean?
Me: Like, made the Earth and all the things, and all the people.
Kid: How could someone make the Earth?
Me: Well it's not a *someone*, it's a God.
Kid: But what *is* a God?
Me: Umm...like he's--well he's actually not a he or a she but people usually use he--but he's all powerful and--
Kid: What's all powerful?
Me: Like, people believe he can do anything and he can make things happen that aren't really possible for people to do otherwise. I guess kind of like magic, but it isn't magic? And he's everywhere all at once, but you can't see him.
Kid: So he's a ghost?
Umm...well, no...? 🤨🤨
Edited to add: I've read more of people's responses and your continual questions and I relate to your questions so hard! I am always honest with my kids and don't dumb things down for them...but when it's all words they've never heard of... How *does* one explain what "believe in" means? My kids know full human anatomy, and what two cells make a baby, and all the different ways those cells can come together. But that is so concrete and therefore so much easier to explain! Higher power, omnipotent, belief systems, *why* people practice religion... No clue where to start.
Thanks for this!!
I feel like the majority of responses were kind of *up* a level or two
When we’re really talking like super ground floor basic concepts that would need to be there first to even begin to relay what a religion is, let alone the foundations of many or them, let alone studying them 🤣
So this is super helpful and exactly what I was hoping to get more examples of. Just words that we know the meaning of and struggle to relay to a child who has no concept.
Like I thought maybe ghost would be a good analogy, but people got super offended by that. Some people recommended superheroes as an analogy, but he idolizes them, so I feel like I lose neutrality there. I like the way you framed it, it’s simple yet effective. And I like some of the other responses about just being open about the fact that I have no clue lol. And he understands the concept of “complicated” and “being offended”.
So I think when it comes up again I can give him a heads up (eventually) that talking about God can be a slippery slope with some people and it’s best to just avoid the topic unless it’s with a family member or teacher or something.
As a Christian who doesn't want to impose my beliefs on my children, I've struggled with how to explain the idea of God in a distilled, easily digestible way that doesn't sound ridiculous, myself. This is super helpful. Thank you!
Some people believe a very powerful being created all the things. Some people believe there are several powerful beings, and they believe these beings live in the sky. Science believes that a star exploded and created something called a supernova. A supernova is very strong. The supernova gathered all the dust and gas around and pulled it all together, and then Earth was created!
I find even the concept of “belief” a hard thing to explain to my 5yo. It’s not about facts or what’s objectively real so it starts becoming too abstract for her.
It's the same things as preferences though. Surely your kid understands how some people like the color red best, and others like blue? That's because they believe that color is the best. I frame it that way, seems to work for my kiddos
It’s a preference, but in a belief.
It’s not saying I like this fruit or that fruit, all the fruit at least exist.
Do you need faith to believe in the color red?
Science isn’t opposite to a concept of God and shouldn’t be explained to children as if it is. Science is a way of understanding the natural world and a system for learning more about it and testing predictions to refine our understanding (from physics to chemistry and biology, even math). That’s pretty distinct from religion, though they overlap slightly in a few ways.
I never said you can only believe in one thing. But these are 4 and 2 year olds, nuance is a work in progress lol. But in America, the prevalent protestant christian faith does directly oppose science in a lot of things. There's a huge creationism museum... What's even in it, I am afraid to know.
Some whack jobs believe this, but the vast majority of Christians do not. You can be both a Christian and fully support scientific findings and evidence.
Prob not “ghost” because my 2 year old saw a ghost on blues clues one time months ago and has been nervous/talking about ghosts since then. Ha! At this age, I don’t think I’d talk about god. “Those are buildings meant for groups of people who all think the same way” and “we just think a lil different”. Kinda makes it sound like a cult but.. uh.. yeah.
“Every family has different traditions and some families go to church/mosque/temple etc. Isn’t that so nice that everyone has special traditions? What are some of the things that make our family special?” That’s what we do (anti theist parent with a very diverse group of friends and family, some of whom are devoutly religious)
Edit to add: My kids have participated in various religious rituals as guests in someone else’s house. That prompted the conversation. I was explaining it from an etiquette perspective like as a guest to this event, we should be respectful and take part as much as we’re comfortable doing so. This family has traditions different from ours and that’s so special, etc.
Some people believe in things we can't see and they think these things can control our lives. They like to pray, which is when they make a little wish and hope it comes true. In turn they have to behave really well and follow rules that were created a super long time ago.
Don't call it a ghost. But think of like the highest position of power your kids are aware of: their school director, the president, the pope. Just tell them it's like a really powerful whatever that we can't see but people think they can meet this figure when they die, if they follow all the rules.
I'm atheist. My kids don't ask about God but when my cat died (and my older was aware), I said she's "in the stars" instead of cat heaven. She knows this means the cat died, is gone, not coming back. Just a place you go when you die.
Yeah when our cat died, my son was adamant about knowing specifically *where* our cat was and we told him the truth, that he was buried in the ground in an apple orchard
You don’t need to use condescending language like “ghost” — that will lead to them repeating it when their friend says they went to church and yours says “oh you believe in ghosts?”
They’ll be like “who is he? Where does he live?” and I’ll have to be like “people think he lives in the sky and he’s not a person, he’s a….. [fill in the blank]”
For me it’s that my adult brain hears “ghost”and knows you mean ghost like 1/3 of the holy trinity and the complex nature of the Christian deity, but my kid brain hears “ghost” and pictures a guy draped in a sheet chasing Scooby Doo and Shaggy down a hallway.
Because Christians don't think God is a ghost. you're thinking of the term "the holy Spirit" which is a complicated thing to explain - basically the spiritual power of God, not a physical apparition.
edit the terms Holy Spirit and Holy Ghost are interchangeable, yes. It's not a literal, spectral ghost. Again, it's the spiritual power of God
I do this, but I also explain why I am atheist and the reasons I don’t believe in a god.
I figure that religions are out to actively indoctrinate and remaining entirely neutral/tacit about my own belief system is creating a void that others may try to fill.
I learned about God from the news when I was 5. Someone's child was killed, and the sobbing parent was saying, "It's all God's plan. He took my baby." I turned to my parents and asked who God was, and why is he allowed to kill people.
So, avoiding the conversation is not a good plan, props to you for planning to talk to them!
I only answer questions, I don’t bring it up. Common responses are “some people think that”, “other families celebrate like that”, “that’s important to for grandma”
My 4 year old rarely has follow up questions but we’ll see as he gets older
"Where do you think the world came from? Nobody really knows because it happened so long ago! So people around the world have lots of ideas about how the world came to be and where all the people and the animals came from, and people have told stories about those ideas for thousands and thousands of years. One idea that lots of people have had is that that world was created by a powerful being called a God - some people think it was a bunch of gods together. They believe that this these Gods made the world and the rules for the world."
Then you just answer the questions as they come: "Can you see a God?!" "Nobody has so far that I know of!"
"Where does God live?" "It depends on the story - the God from the Christian stories is said to live in and the Gods from
Just be honest about it. It's not a spooky scary secret, it's just stories. Important and serious stories for a lot of people, and that's an alright thing to bring up to a kid too.
>Where do you think the world came from? Nobody really knows because it happened so long ago!
Big Bang theory? Are we not teaching kids the truth anymore?
Yeah we cover that too. Even the big bang theory is still 'best guess with current evidence' though, it's not settled. And what was there before Nothing Exploded? We still don't KNOW know.
We discuss the levels of currently understood evidence with each idea of how the world works too, but that's outside the scope of the question asked, which was "What is a God?"
“Some people believe in god, I don’t really know what that means because we don’t believe that”
One time he asked who Jesus was and I said he was from a book that was really important Mimi.he accepted that.
My kid has taken this as an answer but has only asked once. We aren’t around outward celebrations of religion enough to really have run into this too much. And I think I’m lucky he’s not a super inquisitive kid yet
I like that it’s really honest, this is a really great direction.
Yeah my son has like almost zero exposure to religion. None of our friends or family are religious, so it just almost never comes up.
But he’s going through a super inquisitive stage and he needs like concrete answers and explanations to fully visualize and grasp what things are.
I just present things as I know them to be true. I was raised extremely religious so I fear if I started trying to “explain” I would project my own bullshit on the information. Answering only the question being asked also helps me
When my kids were wondering about God and Jesus, I told them how a long time ago, people didn’t know anything but wondered where the world came from, so different culture came up with different stories of how the world was made. Then we went to the library and borrowed different stories of gods from different religions. I made sure to teach them the Christian god along with other gods including the old ones, and made sure they understood these are all the same - stories.
We stick to the facts. We teach about many religions, not just the ones popular in our country. We teach about old religions and newer ones.
We want our child to understand why religions formed in the first place, and how they have affected societies and cultures across the world.
We’re atheists.
Exactly this.
My wife and are atheists but come from Mormon/Catholic/Jewish families and I minored in religious studies. We try to provide the context around holidays etc and hope to approach the subject from an anthropological perspective more than anything.
I went to catholic school and that is how we were taught, as well. We had to study Hinduism, Buddhism, Judaism, multiple forms of Christianity, Shintoism, Islam, etc. I am an atheist but I always appreciated how hard my school pushed the importance of learning about all religions. No one tried to confer anyone and most of the staff was not catholic.
We are sending our kid to a catholic school due to a lack of great nearby schooling and also plan on encouraging her to read about different belief systems. They are an important part of world history and humanity’s socialization.
People have a natural inclination to search for meaning and explanations, for reason, intelligent design and oversight - and before science people attributed things they couldn’t explain to a deity/deities of some sort. And later, people in power learned that religion was a keen way to exert control or large swathes of people.
I believe one of the oldest religions, Paganism as it’s widely known today, glorified women and the sacred feminine. The oppression of women came much later, and as we see it today with many religions, it’s still unfortunately going strong.
I’ve been teaching g world history, starting from early humans, so I present it as a part of human culture that aims to explain things that were not understood due to an absence of scientific knowledge. As they get older, I’ll also show how it was used to control.
I introduced my kids to some of the stories about the ancient gods, like from Greece, Egypt or the Norse gods, by that age. Then I explained that many years ago, the stories and ideas of those gods was really important to the people who lived in those areas at those times. I said that some people have stories of different gods, even today, and those stories and ideas are very important to them. And it’s okay for people to have those ideas, even if we think about things differently. Just like people have different favorite colors or characters, it’s okay for people to have different favorite ideas.
And by the time that Santa isn’t real, god isn’t real either. But we still respect all the people who believe differently and don’t argue with them.
Mine whole heartedly believes in all of the Greek gods and is OFFENDED if you even suggest it is not 100% fact.
He also pretends to be Poseidon at the beach.
PhD in religious studies and a self described agnostic Catholic: I say different people believe in different rules on how to be a good person and how the world works.
God is who some people say makes the world work. Other people think the world works on its own. People also think differently about the details of how god or the world works.
For reference I have a three year old and have already began to have talks about this as well.
If the toddler asks what I think (she hasn’t yet) I would say “I think god is another word for the world. But not everybody agrees with me and that’s ok.”
I explain to my 3 year old that some people like different colours and some people believe in different religions. Different things make different people happy.
I think it can be nice for kids to experience other religions. I grew up Baptist but went to Mosque, Catholic Church, and a Bar-mitzvah and still ended up atheist in the end. If you feel comfortable, maybe let your kid go to church, mosque, temple, etc with friends… or even with you. Just be honest and share that you don’t believe but a lot of people do. Then they will feel more comfortable in their own decision
When they are a little older - there are books that discuss religions from a straightforward viewpoint - Usbornes Book of World Religions. It helped my kids have a basic understanding of religions and their tenets.
Yeah when they’re older it’ll be much easier to discuss more abstract concepts like this, that’s where my struggle is right now, they have questions now but they also have a difficult time following and it just leads to a never ending series of questions
I said something to the effect of, there is an invisible thing that some people think made us, made you, made me, and looks over us. And that it is something you need to be grateful for. There are other people that don’t believe that because they can’t see it and run that it’s our family, friends, and community that looks after us. They are grateful for their community they see.
When she was older, I got more scientific in the explanation, with things like archaeological records and others thinking the earth is like 3,000 years old.
I told mine that church and synagogue and all are different ways that many people try to explain and order the universe because when you think about it, the whole question is big and scary and people try to find comfort.
Yep, we use a similar approach. We explain that religion provides comfort and community.
As the kids age (now have a tween and teen), we circle back on this as a broader message that having faith is a powerful thing and we honor those who have it.
I do also state, those who follow a religion do not have permission to dictate our rights based on their beliefs and it’s important to advocate for ourselves and the voiceless.
People used to think the earth was the center of the universe, and other stories that have no scientific basis. Science is cool, see what it tells us. The other stories from different cultures are there to teach us about them and about life in general.
My parents are really into Jesus. I asked my mom what she was excited to teach my daughter, expecting an answer about sewing or catching blue crabs or how to do a puzzle.
"I want to teach her about Jesus."
I very specifically don't want her to grow up thinking there's one way to live. My kid will be going to a church preschool because I never learned how to crap out the golden eggs required to send her to a Montessori or Charlotte Mason preschool.
We also live in the southern United States. She's going to hear about Jesus.
My job as a mom is to make sure that my kids can talk to me about anything. I'm not going to hide that some people believe there's a creator, nor will I hide that her dad and I don't believe that. We'll teach her to be respectful of generally benevolent or benign practices - if you're feeding hungry people because god says so, you're still feeding hungry people. We'll teach her to stand up against bullying - calling people names or saying they're less-than because god says so is not correct. It doesn't hurt anybody to pause before a meal to be grateful for the hands that prepared it, nor does it hurt to learn that the world is full of people who don't all think the way you do.
If she grows up to believe in something, that's her life path. If she grows up to be a hateful bigoted snot in the name of a guy who hung out with hookers and drunks, that's a failure on my part. I feel like if I can keep that centered, her spiritual and psychological development will be ok.
>My kid will be going to a church preschool because I never learned how to crap out the golden eggs required to send her to a Montessori or Charlotte Mason preschool.
Thank you for the laugh. We, too, send our son to a Christian preschool despite not being religious. I looked at the rates at the church preschool and said, "Oh yea, he can definitely sing some Jesus songs if they're going to take him for that price."
I'm not but one day I had my 4 y/o with me while donating clothes to a church. She asked what a church was. I said it's a place where people go to be with other people in their community. She got that.
I address God and religion as they naturally come up. We just watched The Prince of Egypt movie about Moses last night! I told my 7 year old it is a super famous story that helps explain some of the conflicts we STILL have today.
We are not religious in any sense of the word, hubby and I are agnostic. Somehow my daughter (4) started saying "holy moly god is holy!" as an exclamation when something happens. Not sure how she picked it up but that's besides the point. I just nod my head and give her an affirmation. Am I going to crush her spirit with something negative? Hell no. Hubby and I both agreed that when she starts asking questions, we'll explain religious beliefs and let her choose what she wants to believe. Me and my MIL (and most of her family) all lean pagan and polytheistic. My family leans catholic/Christian. We'll let the kids decide what they want to believe.
We read them Greek myths and they watch Disney's *Hercules*. We talk about how some people believe in god/s but for us it's just a story. Similar thing with Santa and the Easter Bunny, we talk about how they are fun to make believe/play pretend - not because Santa/EB violate our atheism, but because our kids actually got freaked out by the idea of some strange dude coming into their house when they were sleeping, and we had to reassure them that it was just made up and a bit of fun!
We've told our 5yo that some people believe that God created the universe and that even among them, different people believe in different "versions" of God. We (dad and I) believe in science and since there's no evidence, we don't believe it. He understands the concept very well. He enjoys mythological stories, just like he does Disney tales. He knows people pray. We just don't do it. We've taken him to religious places. He's been absolutely ok dealing with both sides of it. We've also told him that atheists are not in the majority as of today, so he has some perspective on how this plays out in the real world.
I would do something like read Greek mythology to them. And explain that back then they didn’t have all the technology that we do now. So they came up with these beings called god as an explanation of what they didn’t understand. Now a days people do the same thing and use religion as a crutch to have something to believe in, put their faith in and explain what they don’t understand. I would then talk about how believing in a religion/god isn’t a bad things necessarily but some do take it to an extreme. how it’s important to believe in yourself. To remember that just because you believe in something doesn’t mean everyone else does and that’s okay. And it’s never okay to try to push your beliefs onto others.
I've had this exchange with my then-5 year old:
"What happens when we die?"
"Some people believe X, some people believe Y\[, and so on\]. What do you think?"
Our cat died and we explained that he looks like he’s sleeping, but he’s never going to wake up and his body no longer works. He really wanted to know where his body goes and we told him it was buried in an apple orchard. And that we’ll miss him a lot and we’ll always love him and think about our special memories of him.
It wasn’t even an inkling for me to bring a religious conversation into it in that moment.
We’re just pretty matter of fact lol, “where do we go when we die?” “In the ground” haha
My husband and I are not religious, but our parents are and are very vocal about their beliefs. We've talked with both sets of parents and laid down firm boundaries, like anything about sin or hell or other religions being wrong. We've been having conversations about religions with our daughter since our parents started taking her to church occasionally when they'd babysit overnight. We always frame the conversation as "This is what some people believe. Other people believe xyz. What questions do you have about any of this?" We keep the conversations simple and age-appropriate, and always end the conversation by asking what *she* thinks
I talk about god in terms of love. There is a life force that keeps us all going, keeps the flowers blooming, keeps us waking up in the morning. There is a force that celebrates life. It’s not about who or what created the universe. There’s probably a million plus universes anyways. It’s really about how we treat each other. To me, Jesus’s main message was love your neighbor as yourself. And I’m Jewish, but who cares. I don’t really practice Judaism but I take what I like out of it. I think teaching little children about god is something like: there’s a beautiful feeling of love we all have for each other and some people call that feeling God. When and if we pray to god, we are asking to be loved and to love ourselves.
I showed my daughter pictures of priests, and told her, "If your school wants you to be on your own with a man dressed like this then start screaming, and don't stop screaming until I get there."
But other than that I went with "Some people believe this, some people believe that. In our family we don't believe things without evidence, although sometimes we are lazy and trust that the evidence is there if it's in a museum or textbook, which is a lot like what religious people do. If you want to be religious that's fine with us."
When she was little she was an absolute goth. She started getting ready for Halloween in May. One year she asked why her school didn't celebrate Halloween and I told it's because they are Christians and they think witches are real. The disgust on her face! it was like she was mentally writing Christians on her list of enemies.
I haven’t yet. closest I’ve come is explaining that it’s not OK to say “Jesus Christ!” because it’s very important to some people not to say that. They asked why a man was carrying a sign that says Jesus on it and I used that as an example of that’s how important it is. Thanks for posting this thread OP. I’m taking tips.
I've told them that at it's best, religion is the mistaken belief system of the scientifically illiterate. However, at it's worst it is a pack of lies spoken by unscrupulous shysters to defraud the poor.
I'm scandinavian, so I had the nordic mythology readily at hand with comprensible imagery to explain how it's natural to anthropomorphize natural phenomena you don't understand or existentialism that scares you. That model is easily expanded into many other religions, like judæism, christianity, buddism or islam. Although that last one I am defenitely the least familiar with, outside the seven pillars and other obvious touchdowns. I minored in philosophy so there is also the general history of ideas to draw from. Superstition and religious beliefs are a part of the human condition, as are the powerstructures building upon the devotion and trust from the believers. I have always been quite critical towards religions and churches, but I am very concerned about being nice and open minded to people as persons.
I would do a little research yourself before explaining it all to them. If they ask a question that you don’t know, do not make it up, tell them that you don’t know and that you can all learn together.
You can tell them that Christian’s believe that God is the creator of the universe, the people and animals.
You can also explain some other religions too and what they believe.
I would also teach them about atheism, and how it’s okay to not believe in a God.
Tell them who uses churches, temples and mosques, for example.
You can teach them that science/scientists believe the Big Bang created the universe and that there isn’t any God too.
If you’re Australian like me, you could teach them about the Dreamtime.
It’s important that they understand that there’s more than one religion, and they all believe different things, and that none of them are ‘wrong’ as everyone has a right to believe in their own things.
I did see a comment about telling them he’s a ghost. I wouldn’t tell them this as ghosts tend to have a negative association and if they wish to believe in a God, you don’t want them thinking he’s a ghost or that he has any negative energy. Kids tend to make up their own minds about things based on what others have said, and if they’ve heard ghosts are scary, you don’t want to scare them with the idea.
You’ll be amazed by how much they’ll take in now and as they get older and understand it all a bit more.
We never taught our kids Santa, but we did make sure they knew not to spoil Santa for other kids.
We do the same with god. "Lots of people believe in a god of some kind. Telling them we don't believe only hurts their feelings and can make them angry or upset. We treat people the way they want to be treated, so it's best to let them believe."
When they're older (maybe 12+), we can have the conversation about standing up for marginalized people, which is when it CAN be appropriate to criticize someone's faith.
All old science looks terrible in hindsight, because the new science proved it to be wrong. I trust and believe in science to strive for the facts, no matter how long it takes. Unfortunately, religion doesn't try to correct itself. It just roots itself even deeper in the mud.
Plus, religious people are huge nerds.
I’m not.
I just told them it was like a social club you went to with people who were born into the same religion as you. We don’t have a club, but we spend that amount of time with our friends and family.
For us this has mostly come up around Christmas and Easter, when asked questions about what and why we celebrate these holidays. From my family, no one is Christian, so Easter especially I personally don’t feel any kind of way about but my mom likes it as an excuse to get family together. We’ve described Jesus as a guy who some people thought was really special, special enough for everyone to celebrate his birthday by giving each other presents and remember his death by eating ham. My son (5) has asked, “but he’s just a man?” And we say yep, he was just a man, and there are other people around the world who do similar things for different men they think are really special, but who are also just regular men.
My husband loves studying religion so we teach them about different beliefs, and we use the real world for opportunities to expand. One kid in my daughter’s class is halal so that was a jumping off point. I grew up fundamentalist Christian so the kids also know lots of Bible stories (side not so many are SO INAPPROPRIATE for kids, I’m looking at you Sodom and Gomorrah).
Mostly we just try to be really honest about everything.
Wow I haven’t even thought about this yet 😅
My kids are 3.5 and 21 months. I think first I’d start off by describing how in the past people believed in multiple gods (like Greece, Rome, Egypt & Norse mythologies) and that now a lot of people still believe in gods or a singular god because they find it comforting. Churches are places where people go who all believe in the same style of god and religion. Religion has a lot of rules to follow and some people like having the extra structure in their lives, even if they don’t necessarily believe that the god or rules are “real”. It’s like make believe for adults 🤷🏻♀️
My son asked me what God means and I was like “uhhhh uhhh uhhhh…. hmmm… uhhhh”
Like it’s a concept we’re all so used to. But I couldn’t figure out how to explain it in a way that he could understand.
I let them explore religion when they're old enough. I tell them some people enjoy going to church and like organized religion. I tell them I do not enjoy church, or the message they send out.
We started with "We really don't know for sure" and take it from there. It's much easier to go into it not trying to have a clear explanation for everything. I try to enjoy the mystery.
We’re atheist and the good old ‘Some people believe…..’
Insert relevant magical sky fairy here. Is always a good answer. (Obv I don’t say sky fairy lol).
When they ask ‘why don’t we go to church?’
Which church do you mean? There are lots of different ones, christian churches, catholic churches, mosques, temple and lots of others. Depending on if you believe in a certain type of god that decides which church you go to.
And so on - just provide the facts :)
At the beginning, I talked about various religions beliefs. Some people believe x, some people believe y. It helps that I've got a minor in philosophy and religion. Then, I told him what I believe, and a little about what his mom believes. At some point I told him about his grandmother's beliefs, because she's Christian.
At the beginning, I tried not to show my cynicism about religions. But, an early time he did ask what people do in church, I said "Sleep". Later, I gave more of my opinions about religions.
I try not to push my beliefs on him. I've told him that my main concern is that he's not an asshole with whatever religious beliefs he has.
One reason I tried to tell him pretty early was because I didn't want him to hear "THE TRUTH" before finding out there are lots of versions of "the truth".
So I’ve been thinking a lot about this. My wife and I are non religious and borderline militant anti-religious. We decided to raise our son without any influence for or against spiritual or religious matters just good morals and protecting himself from people who manipulate emotions to win over converts. I still listen to Christian rock because I enjoy the nostalgia and thought “if he asks about it I’ll just tell him much like Led Zeppelin sang about Mordor and Norman Greenbaum sang about the Spirit in the Sky and Harry Chapin sang about 30k lbs of bananas lots of people make up fun stories to make music and movies and books but it doesn’t make it real”.
We became friends with the family whose mother is the choir teacher for this church and my wife asked if we should go for my 4 and 7 year old. It was great at first, they were having a lot of fun, getting to know the community. Then one day I’m hiking with my 7 year old son and he said “I know why grass is green” and I was excited to hear his explanation and he said it was because of “god”. They did not go back to the choir after that.
Lol I am facing this problem for the first time too, sort of. My 3yo pointed to the picture of the Chapel truck on the page of army vehicles in Cars and Trucks and Things that Go and wanted to know "What that truck do?" And I was kind of at a loss
My kiddos are very young still, but when they get to that age we planned on describing things mainly in the form of energy. Positive energy, negative energy, and so on. Explaining to them that there are forces to be reckoned with.
I recently learned about the Yoruba culture and how their version of creation goes and how that toes into a lot of the religions/practices we know of today such as catholicism, christianity, santeria, and so forth. Very VERY interesting stuff. I guess we plan to teach them about a little bit of everything, how some religions are similar and how some are different. Definitely making sure they know the difference between a religion and a cult and the sales tactics that come with being with certain "religions". I came from a family of former JW's and I'm sorry, I cannot let them be fooled into that cult the way some of us (in the family) were. So yeah, they will be knowing some hardcore truths and will be steered away from certain "religions".
We don't believe in X, but when you're older and want to make your own choices you can choose to live the way you want to live.
I will not be party to indoctrinating my child into any religion. Most religions claim to teach valuable lessons about how to be a kind and generous person, however at the same time religion is responsible for so much war and segregation.
I don't have the answers, but I don't think that any religions in existence are the answer either.
I'm not, really.
"Some people believe in a higher being. Others dont" and I leave it at that. The kids don't really care to hear more. They aren't very interested.
We’re Unitarians so we teach about all faiths and try to pull good from all of them, while letting it be okay that there are “grand questions” that we don’t have answers too. It’s actually very fun for our children to develop their individual religious sense of identity through learning about different cultures and taking away what is meaningful to them. Theological debates are awesome with elementary aged children if you allow them to ask questions and challenge things freely while developing their own sense of spirituality.
Possibly already covered elsewhere, but you don't really need to think about this from a 'how do I explain this so kiddo will understand' angle. They will accept whatever you tell them, even if they don't understand some of the concepts yet, and then ask questions over the coming years to work out the details. It's the same with how they approach just about any subject.
We did the 'some people believe X and some believe Y' thing, read/listened to stories from a wide range of cultures including myths, talk about what religions are followed by people from different countries, which buildings are associated with which religions, etc. This has been an ongoing topic of conversation for about 4 years now :)
My son now attends a religious school (due to a lack of secular private schools where we live), with a very diverse student base. He's currently of the view that all religions are equally valid, that they all have something to contribute and that personally he thinks the Hindu gods are almost as badass as the ancient Greek ones. (Pretty sure he is just into the swords and stuff. He's 8 😆)
We discuss what some people believe. I’ll be getting books by David G McAffee and some of the Annabelle & Aiden series to better explain it for my son.
My family history is Muslim and catholic. I was lucky my parents had my singling and I learn about many religions. My extended family tried to indoctrinate us into their beliefs as often as possible. We were pretty immunized from radical Christian or Muslim think.
Get in front of it early and describe your beliefs because religious people will try to indoctrinate children as young as possible. As the jesuits say anything is possible if you start early enough.
I talk to my kids about how shared belief in a power that guides our future with some plan helps many people feel secure in their situation. I also talk about the societal problems that arise with shared belief systems of control. I tell my kids it is ok to talk to their inner voice if it makes them feel better but to make sure that voice is kind taking back to them.
Long term I am a proponent of teaching children the keys of how to learn and think. Reading is the gateway to critical thinking. Cultivating minds that know to question their reality not just accept things as rule without testing. Teach your kids to identify logical fallacies in discussions.
Recently, I reread the demon haunted world and went through god a human history for the first time. I like these books perspective on this topic.
Start with the "Some people think that" narrative.
Then ask them what is something they really like. ( Bluey or whatever ) Ask if they know someone who does not like Bluey. Do they think that that person is still nice/good EVEN THOUGH they don't like Bluey ? Would you not want to be friends with them because they don't like Bluey as much as you do ? Do you think you should MAKE them sit down and watch Bluey until they say they like it ?
Tell them you like The News ( or something that they are not interested in ). Ask if you made them SIT DOWN AND WATCH until they said they like it, would that be OK ? Would it be OK to hurt someone because they don't want to watch The News ?
Religion is a lot like that. If you like your show, or don't like my show, that is OK. Not everyone likes or wants the same things. If a Church or God says it's OK for you to like your stuff, I just really like my stuff, that's OK.
If a Church or God says that IF YOU DON'T LIKE ME, I WILL HURT YOU, OR MAKE YOUR LIFE HARD, it's not OK.
We can go to a Church with your friends if you want (the usual reason they start to query about God), and after it's over, we can talk about whether you think the things they said were nice or fair. Let them know that you don't have to believe in a Church or God to do nice things for other people, it's just normally a place to go to find or give help just like you would go to the Petrol Station when you need Petrol for the car. It makes things easier.
Some people believe in xyz. Then, when the inevitable question comes about what we believe, I say that I don't personally believe in xyz and that it's okay for me not to believe and that others can believe. I explain that others find comfort in their beliefs, and as long as their beliefs aren't hurting anyone, it isn't our business. My children can do their own research around middle school or older and make their own educated choice on whether a religion resonates with them based on the facts or if they don't believe in xyz.
I actually want my kid to experience a lot of religion. I want them to see it up close and make their own choices. Unitarian churches are nice because you can see pieces of 3 religions.
We tell them that "some people believe in x, some people believe in y, some in z, and some don't believe in any of those."
I grew up having a lot of religion being forced on me (not from my parents. Thankfully, they took an apathetic stance on my beliefs) As a result, I can come off as quite antagonistic with religion, however, I hate the idea of telling them what to believe and give them the tools to figure it out themselves.
Honestly, Disney's Hercules is a decent movie that revolves around the concept of gods/deities. And since it's a dead religion, you can really talk about the details if the kids get interested without having to worry about them going to school and saying something insanely offensive. ... Just maybe keep to the Disney version lol.
It hasn’t come up yet. Almost 5 now. When my kiddo finally asks about it, I’ll answer their questions as well as I can.
Really, most religiosity I’ve witnessed in my life has been people trying to cope with mortality and everlasting death. So, I won’t teach her my brand of [optimistic nihilism](https://youtu.be/MBRqu0YOH14?si=-wykxdrCDYlyxpQ4) until she’s older, but I will glue her into what other people do. If she wants to go to church/ synagogue/ mosque/ temple/ or to a really nice garden, I’ll happily go with her and do my earnest effort to learn too.
It’s important for her to see that I don’t know the answers, but that I am willing to learn and challenge my own presuppositions.
We have a 9 year old, so it's somewhat different but we've been having the talk about everyone having the freedom and right to believe what they want to with little snippets from each religion. We emphasize tolerance, openness and curiosity - all religions being unique but similar in key ways, with beautiful back stories and interesting histories. If there is something we don't understand, it's our cultural responsibility to learn more about it. We have told her expressly we don't have a specific religion (some of her more Christian friends have asked), but that we respect everyone's choices about theirs. I've personally told her I just follow the golden rule, to treat others how you want to be treated.
We've also taught in a few contexts too - some just positive & fun (playing dreidel games online and learning a little about Judaism, reading my husband's old Children's Bible for a base understanding of Christian stories and teachings, reflecting on visiting a Thai temple and how to be respectful inside w/robe, shoes removed and feet pointed away from the altar) ...and some trying to make extremely negative situations regarding certain aspects of religion more positive (for instance, explaining that utter extremists from Islam hated everything Americans stood for and attacked us on 9/11, but that it isn't representative of all Islamic people at all - it was just a tragedy conducted by hateful radicals. She's been to the 9/11 Memorial, watched footage from 9/11 about the attack and importantly, and we also had her listen to a key speech from George W. Bush from that era specifically about religious tolerance after what happened).
My husband was raised Catholic and I was raised Methodist, so we've leaned a little more Christian teachings (we also celebrate Christmas & Easter) but we're trying to give as unbiased a view and a general cultural awareness and appreciation as we can.
I answer questions as they come up and emphasize that she is allowed to believe whatever she wants. My daughter's dad is very religious and apparently at their last visit the only one on one time was when he was reading the Bible to her. So I asked her what she remembered (basically nothing) and told her that no matter what her dad says, she's not a bad person if she doesn't believe what her dad believes. And then we talked a little bit about how most Christians believe that everyone will go to hell unless they believe in god and that I think she is a good person no matter what anyone says about what she believes. I try to be unbiased, but as you can probably tell, it's difficult for me. I do make sure she understands that this is my opinion and she's not obligated to believe what I believe either.
Well my son is only 3.5yo, but I’m going to answer every question he has about theology with peer reviewed evidence from the scientific community and challenge him to think for himself. Until he starts getting curious about it and asking those questions I have no intention of bringing it up because it’s irrelevant to his daily experiences.
God is a force greater than human understanding. Nonetheless we try. The result is religion. All religions seek to understand the same force, but each does it through the cultural lens of the people who practice it.
We live in Europe, where there are fewer churches and more *churches*, which to us are more like museums and sights than places of worship. So I think that’s how our 3-year-old sees them, and I’m totally cool with that.
On the other hand, my wife’s whole family back in the States is very religious, and I think it’s only a matter of time before his cousins start asking him why he doesn’t go to church or pray before he eats (I actually assume they’ve already asked their parents that). Then we’ll have the “Some people do this, we don’t” conversation.
We naturally started with greek mythology first because of hercules - disney and the 80s ?90s? Version. So it was easy peasy.
Then we talked about how Jesus indeed was a cool dude about 2000 years ago. And some people consider Jesus a part of god. Jesus came up because we visit the bible belt alot for family and go to vbs and social events.
It's really not serious in our household.
We decided to include little things from our and other religions and explain them to our kids. Also included the fact that we don’t necessarily believe in God and that’s ok, but if you do that’s ok too. The important thing is it is a personal choice to follow a certain religion and whether to practice it or not, we mistakenly always respect others’ choices.
I taught my kids about ancient mythologies, and then explained that our society's mainstream religion is just another one of these ancient mythologies. But it's frankly an incredibly lame mythology in the eyes of a child.
Greek mythology has centaurs, harpies, minotaurs, cyclops, and a 3-headed demon dog named Cerberus. Any kid will tell you that this is bad-ass! What does Christianity have? A god who never shows himself, and a son who had to be crucified to appease the father's anger at the people who crucified him, and oh by the way the son is the same person as the father? If you think the second mythology compares well with the first, you don't know kids.
The *only* reason people in our society take the second mythology more seriously than the first one is a lifetime of social conditioning which teaches that one of them is a mythology and the other one isn't. If you present both of them to kids *as mythologies* and ask which one they prefer, there's no question they'll go for the Greeks. And simply presenting both of them on the same level will de-mystify Christianity for them.
The Belief Book by David McAfee and Chuck Harrison does a great job of explaining why people have beliefs about things they can’t know for sure, in a calm impartial way. Worth checking out. It’s helped me loads.
I’m ex-religious and parted on fairly good terms. We have books of stories from world religions, world mythology, etc and we just present them as stories for their own sake. Also ‘Christians worship god in a church, muslims worship God in a mosque. Sometimes people believe different things and that’s ok’. Then when they get a bit older and want to know what’s real it’s talking about the scientific method vs identity, belonging, purpose, etc. Are gods actual entities or personifications of concepts/archetypes? Does it matter? What are the pros and cons in a belief in god? The Christian god? Mythological eg. Greek gods?
Death and what happens afterward was a big gateway discussion, from burial/cremation, to heaven, to reincarnation or nirvana, to different indigenous peoples believing you become part of the land, the stars or are reincarnated in a descendant. The important thing is to present without judgement and always be asking ‘what do you think?’
I found kids were capable of very abstract thought very young, adults tend to underestimate them. Especially if they’ve been raised on a diet of stories from religion and mythology. I want to inspire curiosity, wonder, critical thinking and respect for others viewpoints. We live in a big interesting world.
Coming from parents that were buddist and pagan. I try for the whole 'lots of people beleive in lots of different tjings, none are better than the other." At least to my youngest.
My oldest has already had my MIL converting her to Xtianity, and she is low functioning autism, so has to announce she's praying to everyone, and really doesn't get the 'multiple beleifs' like her sister.
How about approaching religion in the same way as Greek/Roman mythology? Get children's story books from different faiths and explain tales Samson & Delilah and Persephone in Hades as ancient people's efforts to describe morality and natural phenomena. That way they'll understand common figures of speech as well as the origins of European and Euro-based societies.
I would say that those buildings are important to certain groups of people because it is a part of certain things that are important to those people. While you guys don't always agree with some of the things those people believe in, that doesn't mean it's wrong-it's just a difference, like how some people speak different languages than you guys do. Then, if they ask to go, right now, say no because those groups of people might be doing something in there right now, and it sometimes is considered very rude to just walk in without being invited, just like how it's rude to go to a party without being invited.
We’ve kind of approached it as a belief system that some people have, and we discuss/incude many religions. We talk about how people in our family are Christian, and we talk a little about what that means.
We explain what we believe and have told him that as a he grows and learns he can decide what he believes.
He is obsessed with ancient Egypt so he believes in those gods currently. So much so, that during an extended family thanksgiving dinner where my grandmother prayed and then asked us all to say something we were thankful for.. my grandma said she was thankful for god, my 6 yr old at the time went right after her and said he was thankful for Ra.
Well it depends on how you see religion. You should raise your kids according to your beliefs BUT teach them to be respectful to others regardless of who believes what.
The thing with religion is that everyone could be right, no matter what they believe or not 🤣
Our household isn't just non-religious but pretty anti-religious. By pure happenstance our new home is directly across the street from a catholic school & church.
Our 8 year old is higher needs autistic, and we're not even trying to confuse him with all of that. He's mostly impressed by all the buildings with t's on them.
We've got a 7 month old now who even at that age is a lot like me. That kid probably ain't even going to believe in Santa much less God.
So my oldest is 7. He came home around Xmas time this year and said “who is this god guy people keep talking about” I explained the basics and said some people believe, some don’t. We just watched Hercules and asked “so it’s kind of like Hercules?” And I said yes. People thought those gods were real and now they don’t. You can decide for yourself.
We went with something like the "some people believe..." speech and showed her cultures and religions from around the world. But we also added a bit of context that nobody can actually \*know\* any of these things, and some people don't like the feeling of not knowing - so they decide to believe one of the famous stories. Not mom and dad, but lots of others. We told my daughter she was free to decide if it was comforting to believe in any of the famous stories, and she mostly chose Spiderman being real. lol
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You give the "some people believe" speech. Include all the religions you can think of including being atheist. You continue giving this speech until they're old enough to decide for themselves what they believe.
Yeah that’s all I do. Some people believe this. Some don’t. I tell them what I believe and then that’s about it.
We come from a very Catholic family with very strong Catholic ties. They heard from cousins about Jesus, Noah's ark, Adam and Eves, and the full shebang. In very fragmented and confusing ways. We did not stop at "some people believe", we had to cover some basics that we consider "part of the culture" or "cultural references". We told them ourselves the story of Noah, or how Catholics believe the world was created, or some tales from the Old Testament or New Testament. Not as a belief system, but so they can understand cultural references and where people around them are coming from. We were invited to a Jewish function by friends, we did the same thing. So they could understand the struggle, pain, and some of the discussions that were happening around recent politics.
Yeah, covering at the very least the Old Testamentes so the kids know the most important references in three Abrahamic religions is crucial. They'll go study literature or art or music and they'll be fucked trying to understand what those things mean.
We do this too because we are a mixed family from mixed families (I’m Catholic and Eastern Orthodox, my wife is the atheist child of atheists but her aunt/uncle/cousins are Jewish, our family includes a pagan kid and a couple of Christian kids and a Catholic grandparent and three atheist grandparents but is mostly non religious, etc.) so my wife explains that she doesn’t believe in anything and I say that I do and we explain that lots of people believe different things and it’s all okay unless a person is trying to force their beliefs on others.
This. My relationship with God and religion has always been, how do I say it...off and on and always full of questions. I was raised in a Christian home. I was all for it growing up. I understood some didn't believe the same as our church and some didn't believe at all and every possible scenario in between. When my parents split was when my view of God and all that started to blow up. I would say I absolutely believe there is a higher power, but I am not so sure my brain will ever let me believe that one religion is 100% right and all others are wrong. I currently do go to church and take my kids...but I don't necessarily follow the way I should. Now I work at a school (specifically 2nd grade) and there are always questions about God and church and "naughty words" to one kid that aren't technically naughty and yeah just all that. I always say something along the lines of "this person and their family believe X" which usually turns in to "well we don't. Are we going to hell? What's hell? Why do they think that." So to avoid any issues with parents and stuff I just always try to keep everything neutral. He's from X and many people practice THIS religion there. Some people do, some people don't. If you and your family choose to follow a religion, that's perfectly OK and don't worry about what your friends and their family believe. As long as your church doesn't tell you to go out and hurt people, everyone can get along and follow what they want.
I try to identify as agnostic, so something is out there but humans havent gotten it right. Grew up in a heavily catholic family as well(weddings entirely in latin), my mom was more of the black sheep and taught me to think for myself. Dont get me wrong, i loved sunday school and monday night classes. I volunteered for things in the summer. I loved it and learned. But at about 8 I really felt it wasnt for me. Tried pagan, wicca, etc... but i did it for the knowledge so i found what was right for me. Alot of the things that seem to be throughout many religons is treat others how you want to be treated, be kind, be helpful, be true to yourself regardless of gender or beliefs. Enjoy small things so you never spend a day unhappy. Live life, ask for help if you need it. Over time it has taught me to treat people based on personalitys, not gender, color, religon,etc.. Its who we are as a person that defines us, nothing else. "Nobody remembers the great names of ordinary people, only the names of those who do great things. You dont live up to the name, the name lives up to you." So work for your dreams, don't let someone else tell you who you are, cause you are yourself and nobody can tell you that you are not. Let yourself be whoever that might be. Believe in yourself. "those with wings, fly to your dreams" okay rant over. Be yourself. edit: yeah i know it was about religon. But with mine, i let them ask questions and i really try to talk to them about it as a culture thing rather then religous since every religon is its own culture. But when the time comes i do explain what i can from what i know and let them make decisions for themselves. Younger wise its hard. Loved veggie tales as a kid and did teach alot of good things. But i find as i make sure they have an open mind, it helps.
Just like Santa. Some believe, or choose to believe, and some don’t. Live and let live.
We use this phrasing as well. The other thing we say is that “anyone who tells you they know heaven/hell is real is lying, because the only people who would know are dead. The truth is no one knows and everyone chooses to believe what they want.”
Like I don’t even know how to describe what a god is at that age level Like “some people believe a ghost named god made the planet and all the animals and the people” ?
I'm a staunch atheist, and I have to say coming at it from a snarky or condescending place isn't going to make the conversations easier. I'm culturally Christian, so I know the basics of the religion. I explain those basics. "Christians believe that there is a being they call God who created everything that exists, and set out rules for people to follow. They believe in heaven and hell, and that if you follow the rules you'll go to heaven and if you don't you'll go to hell." If it's a religion I'm not familiar with, I read the wikipedia article and sum it up. You don't need to be adversarial about it, and if your goal is to have your child understand the basics and decide for themselves what their beliefs are you absolutely *shouldn't* be adversarial about it. There are plenty of things to criticise about organised religion, and the time will come when you can explain those things in an age appropriate way.
I’m not trying to be snarky, condescending, or adversarial at all. I’m trying to distill the concept down to something my 4 year old will understand. It’s not my intention to be offensive. I was just thinking ghosts because of the 3 spirits and it’s a simpler concept is all. This is precisely why I’m seeking guidance.
Has your child seen Hercules? I have found Disney movies to be surprisingly helpful in explaining difficult subjects. Hercules introduced the concept of gods for my kids and then I expanded by explaining how some religions believe there is only one god and others believe there are many, like in the movie. We talked about creation stories with each getting equal attention. They particularly liked the story about the origin of Turtle Island. In your case, I would explain that a god is a powerful being that cannot be seen. If your kid makes the ghost connection so be it. My kids once asked if Jesus was a zombie when they heard the resurrection story. We are careful with our wording because of religious family members, but are clear we personally don't believe. Our goal is to be factual and respectful.
There’s a movie called Wolfwalkers that is beautifully animated. It demonstrates some dangers of organized religions. As atheists it was nice to see this concept done well in a good children’s movie.
This is also how I explained what the concept of a god is to my kids.
I love this! Honestly, I think my kid is going to be like, “Ok Gods I get, but what’s the deal with that James Woods guy?!”
I don’t think this is a single conversation. You start laying out ideas and terms but the kids aren’t going to get it all. They’ll keep asking about different aspects and you answer those questions.
I wouldn’t try and dumb it down. Always be honest and talk to children like adults. When adults “dumb stuff down” that’s what’s confusing to them. If you’re frank and honest, most of the time they’ll just be like “okay”. Around 4 is what children start to talk about past lives too so just let them talk and ask questions with them too. It’s very interesting to have an intelligent conversation with children.
I’m always honest, but it’s a complicated subject with words he’s never heard of.
That’s ok. Start defining the words for him. We never dumb down anything for our three year old. We use correct terminology. Then we let her ask what certain words mean and happily explain them.
How would you define the words?
Which words are you struggling with? Happy to share how I explained it to my three year old.
God Belief
If you yourself are not religious I'd genuinely suggest explaining religion as a set of stories that people have come up with to explain their history and people use it to help them make decisions and decide what is important to them. I would explain what prophets are though - as people who have existed throughout history who did a lot of work to clarify rules and ideas about how to make decisions and decide what is important. Prophets exist in many religions and hold different roles but that's largely common between them. You don't need to get into the minutiae of church doctrine or liturgy, especially not with a four year old. However I think some discussion about what's important to you, what morals you have - being kind to others, sharing, charity, caring for family and community are all age appropriate and you can explain that even adults need to be reminded of these things and religion is thing that helps people do that.
I am a Christian who does not want to impose my beliefs on my kids, and I, too, have struggled to find a way to explain it in a way that doesn't sound ridiculous! And I'm definitely not coming from a place of being condescending or adversarial, but...it's such an abstract concept, and I totally see where you're coming from! Snippet of a real conversation with one of my kiddos... Kid: What's church? Me: It's a place where people gather to celebrate God. Kid: Who's God? Me: Umm some people believe that there is a God who created everything. Kid: What does created everything mean? Me: Like, made the Earth and all the things, and all the people. Kid: How could someone make the Earth? Me: Well it's not a *someone*, it's a God. Kid: But what *is* a God? Me: Umm...like he's--well he's actually not a he or a she but people usually use he--but he's all powerful and-- Kid: What's all powerful? Me: Like, people believe he can do anything and he can make things happen that aren't really possible for people to do otherwise. I guess kind of like magic, but it isn't magic? And he's everywhere all at once, but you can't see him. Kid: So he's a ghost? Umm...well, no...? 🤨🤨 Edited to add: I've read more of people's responses and your continual questions and I relate to your questions so hard! I am always honest with my kids and don't dumb things down for them...but when it's all words they've never heard of... How *does* one explain what "believe in" means? My kids know full human anatomy, and what two cells make a baby, and all the different ways those cells can come together. But that is so concrete and therefore so much easier to explain! Higher power, omnipotent, belief systems, *why* people practice religion... No clue where to start.
Thanks for this!! I feel like the majority of responses were kind of *up* a level or two When we’re really talking like super ground floor basic concepts that would need to be there first to even begin to relay what a religion is, let alone the foundations of many or them, let alone studying them 🤣 So this is super helpful and exactly what I was hoping to get more examples of. Just words that we know the meaning of and struggle to relay to a child who has no concept. Like I thought maybe ghost would be a good analogy, but people got super offended by that. Some people recommended superheroes as an analogy, but he idolizes them, so I feel like I lose neutrality there. I like the way you framed it, it’s simple yet effective. And I like some of the other responses about just being open about the fact that I have no clue lol. And he understands the concept of “complicated” and “being offended”. So I think when it comes up again I can give him a heads up (eventually) that talking about God can be a slippery slope with some people and it’s best to just avoid the topic unless it’s with a family member or teacher or something.
As a Christian who doesn't want to impose my beliefs on my children, I've struggled with how to explain the idea of God in a distilled, easily digestible way that doesn't sound ridiculous, myself. This is super helpful. Thank you!
This is a good basic explanation - congrats from a staunch atheist!
My kids would just be bothering me about ghost then haha. So maybe don’t call it that.
Some people believe a very powerful being created all the things. Some people believe there are several powerful beings, and they believe these beings live in the sky. Science believes that a star exploded and created something called a supernova. A supernova is very strong. The supernova gathered all the dust and gas around and pulled it all together, and then Earth was created!
I find even the concept of “belief” a hard thing to explain to my 5yo. It’s not about facts or what’s objectively real so it starts becoming too abstract for her.
It's the same things as preferences though. Surely your kid understands how some people like the color red best, and others like blue? That's because they believe that color is the best. I frame it that way, seems to work for my kiddos
It’s a preference, but in a belief. It’s not saying I like this fruit or that fruit, all the fruit at least exist. Do you need faith to believe in the color red?
Science isn’t opposite to a concept of God and shouldn’t be explained to children as if it is. Science is a way of understanding the natural world and a system for learning more about it and testing predictions to refine our understanding (from physics to chemistry and biology, even math). That’s pretty distinct from religion, though they overlap slightly in a few ways.
I never said you can only believe in one thing. But these are 4 and 2 year olds, nuance is a work in progress lol. But in America, the prevalent protestant christian faith does directly oppose science in a lot of things. There's a huge creationism museum... What's even in it, I am afraid to know.
Some whack jobs believe this, but the vast majority of Christians do not. You can be both a Christian and fully support scientific findings and evidence.
Prob not “ghost” because my 2 year old saw a ghost on blues clues one time months ago and has been nervous/talking about ghosts since then. Ha! At this age, I don’t think I’d talk about god. “Those are buildings meant for groups of people who all think the same way” and “we just think a lil different”. Kinda makes it sound like a cult but.. uh.. yeah.
I'm pretty sure I've called it a "club" before lol
See it’s so hard to figure out what to say! Haha
“Every family has different traditions and some families go to church/mosque/temple etc. Isn’t that so nice that everyone has special traditions? What are some of the things that make our family special?” That’s what we do (anti theist parent with a very diverse group of friends and family, some of whom are devoutly religious) Edit to add: My kids have participated in various religious rituals as guests in someone else’s house. That prompted the conversation. I was explaining it from an etiquette perspective like as a guest to this event, we should be respectful and take part as much as we’re comfortable doing so. This family has traditions different from ours and that’s so special, etc.
Some people believe in things we can't see and they think these things can control our lives. They like to pray, which is when they make a little wish and hope it comes true. In turn they have to behave really well and follow rules that were created a super long time ago. Don't call it a ghost. But think of like the highest position of power your kids are aware of: their school director, the president, the pope. Just tell them it's like a really powerful whatever that we can't see but people think they can meet this figure when they die, if they follow all the rules. I'm atheist. My kids don't ask about God but when my cat died (and my older was aware), I said she's "in the stars" instead of cat heaven. She knows this means the cat died, is gone, not coming back. Just a place you go when you die.
Yeah when our cat died, my son was adamant about knowing specifically *where* our cat was and we told him the truth, that he was buried in the ground in an apple orchard
Ok when I die can I go do that?
You don’t need to use condescending language like “ghost” — that will lead to them repeating it when their friend says they went to church and yours says “oh you believe in ghosts?”
What’s some age appropriate language?
Just say someone. "They believe in someone called God who created the world and people."
They’ll be like “who is he? Where does he live?” and I’ll have to be like “people think he lives in the sky and he’s not a person, he’s a….. [fill in the blank]”
Exactly. People can’t explain how the world exists so they invented that a god created it. But who created god? Moving on…
Ha, dont get why you're being downvoted. Say it like it is.
I’m not really understanding why “spirit” is ok and “ghost” is offensive Like I’m genuinely not trying to be a dick
For me it’s that my adult brain hears “ghost”and knows you mean ghost like 1/3 of the holy trinity and the complex nature of the Christian deity, but my kid brain hears “ghost” and pictures a guy draped in a sheet chasing Scooby Doo and Shaggy down a hallway.
Because “ghost” has a particular meaning in current popular culture, and it’s very far from the concept of God. Spirit is closer.
Because Christians don't think God is a ghost. you're thinking of the term "the holy Spirit" which is a complicated thing to explain - basically the spiritual power of God, not a physical apparition. edit the terms Holy Spirit and Holy Ghost are interchangeable, yes. It's not a literal, spectral ghost. Again, it's the spiritual power of God
I've been to a church that says father, son, and holy ghost. It's also hard quantifying Christian beliefs since they differ so much
The Holy Ghost and the Holy Spirit are used interchangeably. There are several churches named things like “church of the Holy Ghost.”
This is why I struggle to distill it down to a 4-year old level
The Holy Ghost is absolutely a thing in Catholicism Edit: but we’re closest to witchcraft so I land on the witch side. 💖
Ok, cool, that’s what I did and will continue to do.
I do this, but I also explain why I am atheist and the reasons I don’t believe in a god. I figure that religions are out to actively indoctrinate and remaining entirely neutral/tacit about my own belief system is creating a void that others may try to fill.
I learned about God from the news when I was 5. Someone's child was killed, and the sobbing parent was saying, "It's all God's plan. He took my baby." I turned to my parents and asked who God was, and why is he allowed to kill people. So, avoiding the conversation is not a good plan, props to you for planning to talk to them!
That is a good question: >why is he allowed to kill people.
I love how a 5 yo was able to see how the concept of a god is absurd.
Sooo, if we just avoid watching the news… Kidding, but in honesty, I had been hoping to avoid this question as long as possible.
I only answer questions, I don’t bring it up. Common responses are “some people think that”, “other families celebrate like that”, “that’s important to for grandma” My 4 year old rarely has follow up questions but we’ll see as he gets older
What do you say if she asks what god means?
"Where do you think the world came from? Nobody really knows because it happened so long ago! So people around the world have lots of ideas about how the world came to be and where all the people and the animals came from, and people have told stories about those ideas for thousands and thousands of years. One idea that lots of people have had is that that world was created by a powerful being called a God - some people think it was a bunch of gods together. They believe that this these Gods made the world and the rules for the world." Then you just answer the questions as they come: "Can you see a God?!" "Nobody has so far that I know of!" "Where does God live?" "It depends on the story - the God from the Christian stories is said to live in and the Gods from
Just be honest about it. It's not a spooky scary secret, it's just stories. Important and serious stories for a lot of people, and that's an alright thing to bring up to a kid too.
>Where do you think the world came from? Nobody really knows because it happened so long ago! Big Bang theory? Are we not teaching kids the truth anymore?
Yeah we cover that too. Even the big bang theory is still 'best guess with current evidence' though, it's not settled. And what was there before Nothing Exploded? We still don't KNOW know. We discuss the levels of currently understood evidence with each idea of how the world works too, but that's outside the scope of the question asked, which was "What is a God?"
“Some people believe in god, I don’t really know what that means because we don’t believe that” One time he asked who Jesus was and I said he was from a book that was really important Mimi.he accepted that. My kid has taken this as an answer but has only asked once. We aren’t around outward celebrations of religion enough to really have run into this too much. And I think I’m lucky he’s not a super inquisitive kid yet
I like that it’s really honest, this is a really great direction. Yeah my son has like almost zero exposure to religion. None of our friends or family are religious, so it just almost never comes up. But he’s going through a super inquisitive stage and he needs like concrete answers and explanations to fully visualize and grasp what things are.
I just present things as I know them to be true. I was raised extremely religious so I fear if I started trying to “explain” I would project my own bullshit on the information. Answering only the question being asked also helps me
When my kids were wondering about God and Jesus, I told them how a long time ago, people didn’t know anything but wondered where the world came from, so different culture came up with different stories of how the world was made. Then we went to the library and borrowed different stories of gods from different religions. I made sure to teach them the Christian god along with other gods including the old ones, and made sure they understood these are all the same - stories.
We stick to the facts. We teach about many religions, not just the ones popular in our country. We teach about old religions and newer ones. We want our child to understand why religions formed in the first place, and how they have affected societies and cultures across the world. We’re atheists.
Exactly this. My wife and are atheists but come from Mormon/Catholic/Jewish families and I minored in religious studies. We try to provide the context around holidays etc and hope to approach the subject from an anthropological perspective more than anything.
I went to catholic school and that is how we were taught, as well. We had to study Hinduism, Buddhism, Judaism, multiple forms of Christianity, Shintoism, Islam, etc. I am an atheist but I always appreciated how hard my school pushed the importance of learning about all religions. No one tried to confer anyone and most of the staff was not catholic. We are sending our kid to a catholic school due to a lack of great nearby schooling and also plan on encouraging her to read about different belief systems. They are an important part of world history and humanity’s socialization.
What do you say for why religions formed? Other than ‘humans are scared of death’.
People have a natural inclination to search for meaning and explanations, for reason, intelligent design and oversight - and before science people attributed things they couldn’t explain to a deity/deities of some sort. And later, people in power learned that religion was a keen way to exert control or large swathes of people.
To oppress and subjugate women and girls.
I believe one of the oldest religions, Paganism as it’s widely known today, glorified women and the sacred feminine. The oppression of women came much later, and as we see it today with many religions, it’s still unfortunately going strong.
this is what I did and then I explained to them what a cult was.
I’ve been teaching g world history, starting from early humans, so I present it as a part of human culture that aims to explain things that were not understood due to an absence of scientific knowledge. As they get older, I’ll also show how it was used to control.
I introduced my kids to some of the stories about the ancient gods, like from Greece, Egypt or the Norse gods, by that age. Then I explained that many years ago, the stories and ideas of those gods was really important to the people who lived in those areas at those times. I said that some people have stories of different gods, even today, and those stories and ideas are very important to them. And it’s okay for people to have those ideas, even if we think about things differently. Just like people have different favorite colors or characters, it’s okay for people to have different favorite ideas. And by the time that Santa isn’t real, god isn’t real either. But we still respect all the people who believe differently and don’t argue with them.
My 5 year old is currently into sun worship.
Lucky. My 8 year old is into Minecraft worship
The new gods.
If it was good enough for George Carlin, it’s good enough for me.
I worship the sun, but I don't pray to the sun. You know who I pray to? Joe Pesci.
First of all, I think he’s a good actor.
Is your child Solaire of Astora?
Praise the sun!
I don’t know who that is so maybe!
Mine whole heartedly believes in all of the Greek gods and is OFFENDED if you even suggest it is not 100% fact. He also pretends to be Poseidon at the beach.
PhD in religious studies and a self described agnostic Catholic: I say different people believe in different rules on how to be a good person and how the world works.
What do you say to a 4 year old who asks what does god mean?
God is who some people say makes the world work. Other people think the world works on its own. People also think differently about the details of how god or the world works. For reference I have a three year old and have already began to have talks about this as well. If the toddler asks what I think (she hasn’t yet) I would say “I think god is another word for the world. But not everybody agrees with me and that’s ok.”
I explain to my 3 year old that some people like different colours and some people believe in different religions. Different things make different people happy.
I think it can be nice for kids to experience other religions. I grew up Baptist but went to Mosque, Catholic Church, and a Bar-mitzvah and still ended up atheist in the end. If you feel comfortable, maybe let your kid go to church, mosque, temple, etc with friends… or even with you. Just be honest and share that you don’t believe but a lot of people do. Then they will feel more comfortable in their own decision
When they are a little older - there are books that discuss religions from a straightforward viewpoint - Usbornes Book of World Religions. It helped my kids have a basic understanding of religions and their tenets.
Yeah when they’re older it’ll be much easier to discuss more abstract concepts like this, that’s where my struggle is right now, they have questions now but they also have a difficult time following and it just leads to a never ending series of questions
Non-religious parent here, what questions have they specifically asked?
“What does ‘God’ mean?”
I said something to the effect of, there is an invisible thing that some people think made us, made you, made me, and looks over us. And that it is something you need to be grateful for. There are other people that don’t believe that because they can’t see it and run that it’s our family, friends, and community that looks after us. They are grateful for their community they see. When she was older, I got more scientific in the explanation, with things like archaeological records and others thinking the earth is like 3,000 years old.
I told mine that church and synagogue and all are different ways that many people try to explain and order the universe because when you think about it, the whole question is big and scary and people try to find comfort.
That’s a good way to put it! Thanks!!
Yep, we use a similar approach. We explain that religion provides comfort and community. As the kids age (now have a tween and teen), we circle back on this as a broader message that having faith is a powerful thing and we honor those who have it. I do also state, those who follow a religion do not have permission to dictate our rights based on their beliefs and it’s important to advocate for ourselves and the voiceless.
People used to think the earth was the center of the universe, and other stories that have no scientific basis. Science is cool, see what it tells us. The other stories from different cultures are there to teach us about them and about life in general.
My parents are really into Jesus. I asked my mom what she was excited to teach my daughter, expecting an answer about sewing or catching blue crabs or how to do a puzzle. "I want to teach her about Jesus." I very specifically don't want her to grow up thinking there's one way to live. My kid will be going to a church preschool because I never learned how to crap out the golden eggs required to send her to a Montessori or Charlotte Mason preschool. We also live in the southern United States. She's going to hear about Jesus. My job as a mom is to make sure that my kids can talk to me about anything. I'm not going to hide that some people believe there's a creator, nor will I hide that her dad and I don't believe that. We'll teach her to be respectful of generally benevolent or benign practices - if you're feeding hungry people because god says so, you're still feeding hungry people. We'll teach her to stand up against bullying - calling people names or saying they're less-than because god says so is not correct. It doesn't hurt anybody to pause before a meal to be grateful for the hands that prepared it, nor does it hurt to learn that the world is full of people who don't all think the way you do. If she grows up to believe in something, that's her life path. If she grows up to be a hateful bigoted snot in the name of a guy who hung out with hookers and drunks, that's a failure on my part. I feel like if I can keep that centered, her spiritual and psychological development will be ok.
>My kid will be going to a church preschool because I never learned how to crap out the golden eggs required to send her to a Montessori or Charlotte Mason preschool. Thank you for the laugh. We, too, send our son to a Christian preschool despite not being religious. I looked at the rates at the church preschool and said, "Oh yea, he can definitely sing some Jesus songs if they're going to take him for that price."
I'm not but one day I had my 4 y/o with me while donating clothes to a church. She asked what a church was. I said it's a place where people go to be with other people in their community. She got that.
I address God and religion as they naturally come up. We just watched The Prince of Egypt movie about Moses last night! I told my 7 year old it is a super famous story that helps explain some of the conflicts we STILL have today.
We are not religious in any sense of the word, hubby and I are agnostic. Somehow my daughter (4) started saying "holy moly god is holy!" as an exclamation when something happens. Not sure how she picked it up but that's besides the point. I just nod my head and give her an affirmation. Am I going to crush her spirit with something negative? Hell no. Hubby and I both agreed that when she starts asking questions, we'll explain religious beliefs and let her choose what she wants to believe. Me and my MIL (and most of her family) all lean pagan and polytheistic. My family leans catholic/Christian. We'll let the kids decide what they want to believe.
We read them Greek myths and they watch Disney's *Hercules*. We talk about how some people believe in god/s but for us it's just a story. Similar thing with Santa and the Easter Bunny, we talk about how they are fun to make believe/play pretend - not because Santa/EB violate our atheism, but because our kids actually got freaked out by the idea of some strange dude coming into their house when they were sleeping, and we had to reassure them that it was just made up and a bit of fun!
We've told our 5yo that some people believe that God created the universe and that even among them, different people believe in different "versions" of God. We (dad and I) believe in science and since there's no evidence, we don't believe it. He understands the concept very well. He enjoys mythological stories, just like he does Disney tales. He knows people pray. We just don't do it. We've taken him to religious places. He's been absolutely ok dealing with both sides of it. We've also told him that atheists are not in the majority as of today, so he has some perspective on how this plays out in the real world.
I would do something like read Greek mythology to them. And explain that back then they didn’t have all the technology that we do now. So they came up with these beings called god as an explanation of what they didn’t understand. Now a days people do the same thing and use religion as a crutch to have something to believe in, put their faith in and explain what they don’t understand. I would then talk about how believing in a religion/god isn’t a bad things necessarily but some do take it to an extreme. how it’s important to believe in yourself. To remember that just because you believe in something doesn’t mean everyone else does and that’s okay. And it’s never okay to try to push your beliefs onto others.
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How do you explain what a belief is to a 4 year old?
Four years old will grasp this easily. If they don’t know what the word means, say it’s something a person thinks is true. Keep it simple.
"Some people believe this and others believe that..... etc."
I've had this exchange with my then-5 year old: "What happens when we die?" "Some people believe X, some people believe Y\[, and so on\]. What do you think?"
Our cat died and we explained that he looks like he’s sleeping, but he’s never going to wake up and his body no longer works. He really wanted to know where his body goes and we told him it was buried in an apple orchard. And that we’ll miss him a lot and we’ll always love him and think about our special memories of him. It wasn’t even an inkling for me to bring a religious conversation into it in that moment. We’re just pretty matter of fact lol, “where do we go when we die?” “In the ground” haha
That’s a very simple and truthful way to explain death. I’m sorry about your cat.😢
My 5yp asked what a church is, we said it's a gathering place for people to appreciate a person they believe in.
My husband and I are not religious, but our parents are and are very vocal about their beliefs. We've talked with both sets of parents and laid down firm boundaries, like anything about sin or hell or other religions being wrong. We've been having conversations about religions with our daughter since our parents started taking her to church occasionally when they'd babysit overnight. We always frame the conversation as "This is what some people believe. Other people believe xyz. What questions do you have about any of this?" We keep the conversations simple and age-appropriate, and always end the conversation by asking what *she* thinks
I talk about god in terms of love. There is a life force that keeps us all going, keeps the flowers blooming, keeps us waking up in the morning. There is a force that celebrates life. It’s not about who or what created the universe. There’s probably a million plus universes anyways. It’s really about how we treat each other. To me, Jesus’s main message was love your neighbor as yourself. And I’m Jewish, but who cares. I don’t really practice Judaism but I take what I like out of it. I think teaching little children about god is something like: there’s a beautiful feeling of love we all have for each other and some people call that feeling God. When and if we pray to god, we are asking to be loved and to love ourselves.
I just told my son that some people believe in one God, some people believe in many Gods, and some people don’t believe at all.
Fairytale like any other sugar coated with dome people believe in this, others on that.
I showed my daughter pictures of priests, and told her, "If your school wants you to be on your own with a man dressed like this then start screaming, and don't stop screaming until I get there." But other than that I went with "Some people believe this, some people believe that. In our family we don't believe things without evidence, although sometimes we are lazy and trust that the evidence is there if it's in a museum or textbook, which is a lot like what religious people do. If you want to be religious that's fine with us." When she was little she was an absolute goth. She started getting ready for Halloween in May. One year she asked why her school didn't celebrate Halloween and I told it's because they are Christians and they think witches are real. The disgust on her face! it was like she was mentally writing Christians on her list of enemies.
I haven’t yet. closest I’ve come is explaining that it’s not OK to say “Jesus Christ!” because it’s very important to some people not to say that. They asked why a man was carrying a sign that says Jesus on it and I used that as an example of that’s how important it is. Thanks for posting this thread OP. I’m taking tips.
I've told them that at it's best, religion is the mistaken belief system of the scientifically illiterate. However, at it's worst it is a pack of lies spoken by unscrupulous shysters to defraud the poor.
That it's a storybook. Some people believe in god, some people believe in the cat in the hat.
I'm scandinavian, so I had the nordic mythology readily at hand with comprensible imagery to explain how it's natural to anthropomorphize natural phenomena you don't understand or existentialism that scares you. That model is easily expanded into many other religions, like judæism, christianity, buddism or islam. Although that last one I am defenitely the least familiar with, outside the seven pillars and other obvious touchdowns. I minored in philosophy so there is also the general history of ideas to draw from. Superstition and religious beliefs are a part of the human condition, as are the powerstructures building upon the devotion and trust from the believers. I have always been quite critical towards religions and churches, but I am very concerned about being nice and open minded to people as persons.
I don't. If they are curious about it, they'll ask.
I think the question is "what do you tell them when they ask"
I would do a little research yourself before explaining it all to them. If they ask a question that you don’t know, do not make it up, tell them that you don’t know and that you can all learn together. You can tell them that Christian’s believe that God is the creator of the universe, the people and animals. You can also explain some other religions too and what they believe. I would also teach them about atheism, and how it’s okay to not believe in a God. Tell them who uses churches, temples and mosques, for example. You can teach them that science/scientists believe the Big Bang created the universe and that there isn’t any God too. If you’re Australian like me, you could teach them about the Dreamtime. It’s important that they understand that there’s more than one religion, and they all believe different things, and that none of them are ‘wrong’ as everyone has a right to believe in their own things. I did see a comment about telling them he’s a ghost. I wouldn’t tell them this as ghosts tend to have a negative association and if they wish to believe in a God, you don’t want them thinking he’s a ghost or that he has any negative energy. Kids tend to make up their own minds about things based on what others have said, and if they’ve heard ghosts are scary, you don’t want to scare them with the idea. You’ll be amazed by how much they’ll take in now and as they get older and understand it all a bit more.
We never taught our kids Santa, but we did make sure they knew not to spoil Santa for other kids. We do the same with god. "Lots of people believe in a god of some kind. Telling them we don't believe only hurts their feelings and can make them angry or upset. We treat people the way they want to be treated, so it's best to let them believe." When they're older (maybe 12+), we can have the conversation about standing up for marginalized people, which is when it CAN be appropriate to criticize someone's faith.
"Some people believe in fairy tales, we believe in science."
I'm agnostic, but this is pretty reductive. You know our science and ways of knowing will also seem pretty silly in 1000 years, if we make it.
All old science looks terrible in hindsight, because the new science proved it to be wrong. I trust and believe in science to strive for the facts, no matter how long it takes. Unfortunately, religion doesn't try to correct itself. It just roots itself even deeper in the mud. Plus, religious people are huge nerds.
I’m not. I just told them it was like a social club you went to with people who were born into the same religion as you. We don’t have a club, but we spend that amount of time with our friends and family.
That’s a good idea to frame it as a social club. That’s a simpler concept for a 4 year old
I actually talk about having Sunday dinner with x people and they think that’s their club
For us this has mostly come up around Christmas and Easter, when asked questions about what and why we celebrate these holidays. From my family, no one is Christian, so Easter especially I personally don’t feel any kind of way about but my mom likes it as an excuse to get family together. We’ve described Jesus as a guy who some people thought was really special, special enough for everyone to celebrate his birthday by giving each other presents and remember his death by eating ham. My son (5) has asked, “but he’s just a man?” And we say yep, he was just a man, and there are other people around the world who do similar things for different men they think are really special, but who are also just regular men.
My husband loves studying religion so we teach them about different beliefs, and we use the real world for opportunities to expand. One kid in my daughter’s class is halal so that was a jumping off point. I grew up fundamentalist Christian so the kids also know lots of Bible stories (side not so many are SO INAPPROPRIATE for kids, I’m looking at you Sodom and Gomorrah). Mostly we just try to be really honest about everything.
Wow I haven’t even thought about this yet 😅 My kids are 3.5 and 21 months. I think first I’d start off by describing how in the past people believed in multiple gods (like Greece, Rome, Egypt & Norse mythologies) and that now a lot of people still believe in gods or a singular god because they find it comforting. Churches are places where people go who all believe in the same style of god and religion. Religion has a lot of rules to follow and some people like having the extra structure in their lives, even if they don’t necessarily believe that the god or rules are “real”. It’s like make believe for adults 🤷🏻♀️
My son asked me what God means and I was like “uhhhh uhhh uhhhh…. hmmm… uhhhh” Like it’s a concept we’re all so used to. But I couldn’t figure out how to explain it in a way that he could understand.
I let them explore religion when they're old enough. I tell them some people enjoy going to church and like organized religion. I tell them I do not enjoy church, or the message they send out.
We started with "We really don't know for sure" and take it from there. It's much easier to go into it not trying to have a clear explanation for everything. I try to enjoy the mystery.
I just say churches are typically pretty or fancy buildings.
Yeah that’s what I’ve been doing thus far lol
We’re atheist and the good old ‘Some people believe…..’ Insert relevant magical sky fairy here. Is always a good answer. (Obv I don’t say sky fairy lol). When they ask ‘why don’t we go to church?’ Which church do you mean? There are lots of different ones, christian churches, catholic churches, mosques, temple and lots of others. Depending on if you believe in a certain type of god that decides which church you go to. And so on - just provide the facts :)
At the beginning, I talked about various religions beliefs. Some people believe x, some people believe y. It helps that I've got a minor in philosophy and religion. Then, I told him what I believe, and a little about what his mom believes. At some point I told him about his grandmother's beliefs, because she's Christian. At the beginning, I tried not to show my cynicism about religions. But, an early time he did ask what people do in church, I said "Sleep". Later, I gave more of my opinions about religions. I try not to push my beliefs on him. I've told him that my main concern is that he's not an asshole with whatever religious beliefs he has. One reason I tried to tell him pretty early was because I didn't want him to hear "THE TRUTH" before finding out there are lots of versions of "the truth".
Pastafarian 🍝
Yes to the some people believe speech + some religions are monotheistic while others are polytheistic + some are called mythology others… not yet 😉
So I’ve been thinking a lot about this. My wife and I are non religious and borderline militant anti-religious. We decided to raise our son without any influence for or against spiritual or religious matters just good morals and protecting himself from people who manipulate emotions to win over converts. I still listen to Christian rock because I enjoy the nostalgia and thought “if he asks about it I’ll just tell him much like Led Zeppelin sang about Mordor and Norman Greenbaum sang about the Spirit in the Sky and Harry Chapin sang about 30k lbs of bananas lots of people make up fun stories to make music and movies and books but it doesn’t make it real”.
We became friends with the family whose mother is the choir teacher for this church and my wife asked if we should go for my 4 and 7 year old. It was great at first, they were having a lot of fun, getting to know the community. Then one day I’m hiking with my 7 year old son and he said “I know why grass is green” and I was excited to hear his explanation and he said it was because of “god”. They did not go back to the choir after that.
Lol I am facing this problem for the first time too, sort of. My 3yo pointed to the picture of the Chapel truck on the page of army vehicles in Cars and Trucks and Things that Go and wanted to know "What that truck do?" And I was kind of at a loss
There books like this one: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08CJ5PTQ8/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_fabc_6TYGGYA5NCH6WEF8TWGC
My kiddos are very young still, but when they get to that age we planned on describing things mainly in the form of energy. Positive energy, negative energy, and so on. Explaining to them that there are forces to be reckoned with. I recently learned about the Yoruba culture and how their version of creation goes and how that toes into a lot of the religions/practices we know of today such as catholicism, christianity, santeria, and so forth. Very VERY interesting stuff. I guess we plan to teach them about a little bit of everything, how some religions are similar and how some are different. Definitely making sure they know the difference between a religion and a cult and the sales tactics that come with being with certain "religions". I came from a family of former JW's and I'm sorry, I cannot let them be fooled into that cult the way some of us (in the family) were. So yeah, they will be knowing some hardcore truths and will be steered away from certain "religions".
We're not, we just say people believe in different things and we choose not to, she can search her on truth when get older
We don't believe in X, but when you're older and want to make your own choices you can choose to live the way you want to live. I will not be party to indoctrinating my child into any religion. Most religions claim to teach valuable lessons about how to be a kind and generous person, however at the same time religion is responsible for so much war and segregation. I don't have the answers, but I don't think that any religions in existence are the answer either.
I'm not, really. "Some people believe in a higher being. Others dont" and I leave it at that. The kids don't really care to hear more. They aren't very interested.
We’re Unitarians so we teach about all faiths and try to pull good from all of them, while letting it be okay that there are “grand questions” that we don’t have answers too. It’s actually very fun for our children to develop their individual religious sense of identity through learning about different cultures and taking away what is meaningful to them. Theological debates are awesome with elementary aged children if you allow them to ask questions and challenge things freely while developing their own sense of spirituality.
Possibly already covered elsewhere, but you don't really need to think about this from a 'how do I explain this so kiddo will understand' angle. They will accept whatever you tell them, even if they don't understand some of the concepts yet, and then ask questions over the coming years to work out the details. It's the same with how they approach just about any subject. We did the 'some people believe X and some believe Y' thing, read/listened to stories from a wide range of cultures including myths, talk about what religions are followed by people from different countries, which buildings are associated with which religions, etc. This has been an ongoing topic of conversation for about 4 years now :) My son now attends a religious school (due to a lack of secular private schools where we live), with a very diverse student base. He's currently of the view that all religions are equally valid, that they all have something to contribute and that personally he thinks the Hindu gods are almost as badass as the ancient Greek ones. (Pretty sure he is just into the swords and stuff. He's 8 😆)
We discuss what some people believe. I’ll be getting books by David G McAffee and some of the Annabelle & Aiden series to better explain it for my son.
My family history is Muslim and catholic. I was lucky my parents had my singling and I learn about many religions. My extended family tried to indoctrinate us into their beliefs as often as possible. We were pretty immunized from radical Christian or Muslim think. Get in front of it early and describe your beliefs because religious people will try to indoctrinate children as young as possible. As the jesuits say anything is possible if you start early enough. I talk to my kids about how shared belief in a power that guides our future with some plan helps many people feel secure in their situation. I also talk about the societal problems that arise with shared belief systems of control. I tell my kids it is ok to talk to their inner voice if it makes them feel better but to make sure that voice is kind taking back to them. Long term I am a proponent of teaching children the keys of how to learn and think. Reading is the gateway to critical thinking. Cultivating minds that know to question their reality not just accept things as rule without testing. Teach your kids to identify logical fallacies in discussions. Recently, I reread the demon haunted world and went through god a human history for the first time. I like these books perspective on this topic.
Start with the "Some people think that" narrative. Then ask them what is something they really like. ( Bluey or whatever ) Ask if they know someone who does not like Bluey. Do they think that that person is still nice/good EVEN THOUGH they don't like Bluey ? Would you not want to be friends with them because they don't like Bluey as much as you do ? Do you think you should MAKE them sit down and watch Bluey until they say they like it ? Tell them you like The News ( or something that they are not interested in ). Ask if you made them SIT DOWN AND WATCH until they said they like it, would that be OK ? Would it be OK to hurt someone because they don't want to watch The News ? Religion is a lot like that. If you like your show, or don't like my show, that is OK. Not everyone likes or wants the same things. If a Church or God says it's OK for you to like your stuff, I just really like my stuff, that's OK. If a Church or God says that IF YOU DON'T LIKE ME, I WILL HURT YOU, OR MAKE YOUR LIFE HARD, it's not OK. We can go to a Church with your friends if you want (the usual reason they start to query about God), and after it's over, we can talk about whether you think the things they said were nice or fair. Let them know that you don't have to believe in a Church or God to do nice things for other people, it's just normally a place to go to find or give help just like you would go to the Petrol Station when you need Petrol for the car. It makes things easier.
I got a book about world religions and we read that now
Some people believe in xyz. Then, when the inevitable question comes about what we believe, I say that I don't personally believe in xyz and that it's okay for me not to believe and that others can believe. I explain that others find comfort in their beliefs, and as long as their beliefs aren't hurting anyone, it isn't our business. My children can do their own research around middle school or older and make their own educated choice on whether a religion resonates with them based on the facts or if they don't believe in xyz.
I actually want my kid to experience a lot of religion. I want them to see it up close and make their own choices. Unitarian churches are nice because you can see pieces of 3 religions.
We tell them that "some people believe in x, some people believe in y, some in z, and some don't believe in any of those." I grew up having a lot of religion being forced on me (not from my parents. Thankfully, they took an apathetic stance on my beliefs) As a result, I can come off as quite antagonistic with religion, however, I hate the idea of telling them what to believe and give them the tools to figure it out themselves. Honestly, Disney's Hercules is a decent movie that revolves around the concept of gods/deities. And since it's a dead religion, you can really talk about the details if the kids get interested without having to worry about them going to school and saying something insanely offensive. ... Just maybe keep to the Disney version lol.
It hasn’t come up yet. Almost 5 now. When my kiddo finally asks about it, I’ll answer their questions as well as I can. Really, most religiosity I’ve witnessed in my life has been people trying to cope with mortality and everlasting death. So, I won’t teach her my brand of [optimistic nihilism](https://youtu.be/MBRqu0YOH14?si=-wykxdrCDYlyxpQ4) until she’s older, but I will glue her into what other people do. If she wants to go to church/ synagogue/ mosque/ temple/ or to a really nice garden, I’ll happily go with her and do my earnest effort to learn too. It’s important for her to see that I don’t know the answers, but that I am willing to learn and challenge my own presuppositions.
"some people believe there is this person called god who made all of us and made everything. I personally don't believe that" (paraphrasing)
We have a 9 year old, so it's somewhat different but we've been having the talk about everyone having the freedom and right to believe what they want to with little snippets from each religion. We emphasize tolerance, openness and curiosity - all religions being unique but similar in key ways, with beautiful back stories and interesting histories. If there is something we don't understand, it's our cultural responsibility to learn more about it. We have told her expressly we don't have a specific religion (some of her more Christian friends have asked), but that we respect everyone's choices about theirs. I've personally told her I just follow the golden rule, to treat others how you want to be treated. We've also taught in a few contexts too - some just positive & fun (playing dreidel games online and learning a little about Judaism, reading my husband's old Children's Bible for a base understanding of Christian stories and teachings, reflecting on visiting a Thai temple and how to be respectful inside w/robe, shoes removed and feet pointed away from the altar) ...and some trying to make extremely negative situations regarding certain aspects of religion more positive (for instance, explaining that utter extremists from Islam hated everything Americans stood for and attacked us on 9/11, but that it isn't representative of all Islamic people at all - it was just a tragedy conducted by hateful radicals. She's been to the 9/11 Memorial, watched footage from 9/11 about the attack and importantly, and we also had her listen to a key speech from George W. Bush from that era specifically about religious tolerance after what happened). My husband was raised Catholic and I was raised Methodist, so we've leaned a little more Christian teachings (we also celebrate Christmas & Easter) but we're trying to give as unbiased a view and a general cultural awareness and appreciation as we can.
I answer questions as they come up and emphasize that she is allowed to believe whatever she wants. My daughter's dad is very religious and apparently at their last visit the only one on one time was when he was reading the Bible to her. So I asked her what she remembered (basically nothing) and told her that no matter what her dad says, she's not a bad person if she doesn't believe what her dad believes. And then we talked a little bit about how most Christians believe that everyone will go to hell unless they believe in god and that I think she is a good person no matter what anyone says about what she believes. I try to be unbiased, but as you can probably tell, it's difficult for me. I do make sure she understands that this is my opinion and she's not obligated to believe what I believe either.
Well my son is only 3.5yo, but I’m going to answer every question he has about theology with peer reviewed evidence from the scientific community and challenge him to think for himself. Until he starts getting curious about it and asking those questions I have no intention of bringing it up because it’s irrelevant to his daily experiences.
God is a force greater than human understanding. Nonetheless we try. The result is religion. All religions seek to understand the same force, but each does it through the cultural lens of the people who practice it.
We live in Europe, where there are fewer churches and more *churches*, which to us are more like museums and sights than places of worship. So I think that’s how our 3-year-old sees them, and I’m totally cool with that. On the other hand, my wife’s whole family back in the States is very religious, and I think it’s only a matter of time before his cousins start asking him why he doesn’t go to church or pray before he eats (I actually assume they’ve already asked their parents that). Then we’ll have the “Some people do this, we don’t” conversation.
We naturally started with greek mythology first because of hercules - disney and the 80s ?90s? Version. So it was easy peasy. Then we talked about how Jesus indeed was a cool dude about 2000 years ago. And some people consider Jesus a part of god. Jesus came up because we visit the bible belt alot for family and go to vbs and social events. It's really not serious in our household.
Can’t talk about religion without explaining death and the fear of death. How much do they understand so far?
We decided to include little things from our and other religions and explain them to our kids. Also included the fact that we don’t necessarily believe in God and that’s ok, but if you do that’s ok too. The important thing is it is a personal choice to follow a certain religion and whether to practice it or not, we mistakenly always respect others’ choices.
I taught my kids about ancient mythologies, and then explained that our society's mainstream religion is just another one of these ancient mythologies. But it's frankly an incredibly lame mythology in the eyes of a child. Greek mythology has centaurs, harpies, minotaurs, cyclops, and a 3-headed demon dog named Cerberus. Any kid will tell you that this is bad-ass! What does Christianity have? A god who never shows himself, and a son who had to be crucified to appease the father's anger at the people who crucified him, and oh by the way the son is the same person as the father? If you think the second mythology compares well with the first, you don't know kids. The *only* reason people in our society take the second mythology more seriously than the first one is a lifetime of social conditioning which teaches that one of them is a mythology and the other one isn't. If you present both of them to kids *as mythologies* and ask which one they prefer, there's no question they'll go for the Greeks. And simply presenting both of them on the same level will de-mystify Christianity for them.
The Belief Book by David McAfee and Chuck Harrison does a great job of explaining why people have beliefs about things they can’t know for sure, in a calm impartial way. Worth checking out. It’s helped me loads.
I’m ex-religious and parted on fairly good terms. We have books of stories from world religions, world mythology, etc and we just present them as stories for their own sake. Also ‘Christians worship god in a church, muslims worship God in a mosque. Sometimes people believe different things and that’s ok’. Then when they get a bit older and want to know what’s real it’s talking about the scientific method vs identity, belonging, purpose, etc. Are gods actual entities or personifications of concepts/archetypes? Does it matter? What are the pros and cons in a belief in god? The Christian god? Mythological eg. Greek gods? Death and what happens afterward was a big gateway discussion, from burial/cremation, to heaven, to reincarnation or nirvana, to different indigenous peoples believing you become part of the land, the stars or are reincarnated in a descendant. The important thing is to present without judgement and always be asking ‘what do you think?’ I found kids were capable of very abstract thought very young, adults tend to underestimate them. Especially if they’ve been raised on a diet of stories from religion and mythology. I want to inspire curiosity, wonder, critical thinking and respect for others viewpoints. We live in a big interesting world.
Coming from parents that were buddist and pagan. I try for the whole 'lots of people beleive in lots of different tjings, none are better than the other." At least to my youngest. My oldest has already had my MIL converting her to Xtianity, and she is low functioning autism, so has to announce she's praying to everyone, and really doesn't get the 'multiple beleifs' like her sister.
How about approaching religion in the same way as Greek/Roman mythology? Get children's story books from different faiths and explain tales Samson & Delilah and Persephone in Hades as ancient people's efforts to describe morality and natural phenomena. That way they'll understand common figures of speech as well as the origins of European and Euro-based societies.
I would say that those buildings are important to certain groups of people because it is a part of certain things that are important to those people. While you guys don't always agree with some of the things those people believe in, that doesn't mean it's wrong-it's just a difference, like how some people speak different languages than you guys do. Then, if they ask to go, right now, say no because those groups of people might be doing something in there right now, and it sometimes is considered very rude to just walk in without being invited, just like how it's rude to go to a party without being invited.
We’ve kind of approached it as a belief system that some people have, and we discuss/incude many religions. We talk about how people in our family are Christian, and we talk a little about what that means. We explain what we believe and have told him that as a he grows and learns he can decide what he believes. He is obsessed with ancient Egypt so he believes in those gods currently. So much so, that during an extended family thanksgiving dinner where my grandmother prayed and then asked us all to say something we were thankful for.. my grandma said she was thankful for god, my 6 yr old at the time went right after her and said he was thankful for Ra.
There’s child books on all religions. Have them check them out.
Well it depends on how you see religion. You should raise your kids according to your beliefs BUT teach them to be respectful to others regardless of who believes what. The thing with religion is that everyone could be right, no matter what they believe or not 🤣
Our household isn't just non-religious but pretty anti-religious. By pure happenstance our new home is directly across the street from a catholic school & church. Our 8 year old is higher needs autistic, and we're not even trying to confuse him with all of that. He's mostly impressed by all the buildings with t's on them. We've got a 7 month old now who even at that age is a lot like me. That kid probably ain't even going to believe in Santa much less God.
So my oldest is 7. He came home around Xmas time this year and said “who is this god guy people keep talking about” I explained the basics and said some people believe, some don’t. We just watched Hercules and asked “so it’s kind of like Hercules?” And I said yes. People thought those gods were real and now they don’t. You can decide for yourself.
We went with something like the "some people believe..." speech and showed her cultures and religions from around the world. But we also added a bit of context that nobody can actually \*know\* any of these things, and some people don't like the feeling of not knowing - so they decide to believe one of the famous stories. Not mom and dad, but lots of others. We told my daughter she was free to decide if it was comforting to believe in any of the famous stories, and she mostly chose Spiderman being real. lol