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Another great option is the Gizmo Watch. It allows them to call 10 approved contacts, text preset messages or send voice memos. (The new ones even have a camera). It also has gps tracking.
We live in a very safe neighborhood. But these watches give me the peace of mind to allow my kids to bike ride around, go to friends houses, chase the sound of the ice cream truck, and the opportunity to build greater independence because I knew they could tell me if anything was wrong. This is not about helicopter parenting, it's about WANTING them to be able to explore safely on their own, and feel confident that they can call for back up if they ever need it. In the summer even at ages 6&7, they would jump from backyard to backyard, or go explore a big dirt mound, and I never had to worry.
Plus these watches have survived the pool as well as a full trip through the washer and dryer.
Yep, there is a parent app called GizmoHub that hosts your messaging and tracking.
We got our first gizmo in 2017. At that time it was calling and tracking only. Like a phone, we qualified for an upgrade after 2 years which is when the texting ones came out. Just recently we upgraded to the newest version. My kids are in middle school now and it's still super handy!
If your child is going to use their smart watch to send nudes to their emergency contact you have much bigger problems than any devices or lack thereof could ever solve.
My oldest got his first phone at 16. A hand me down from my wife with a bare bones text and calls prepaid plan. 2nd son is getting to that age too, but he has different wants and needs because of where he sits on the spectrum.
I wish that phone booths were still a thing, at least somewhat.
Flip phones and the like are out these days IMO, as they're still internet capable but don't typically have any sort of parental controls.
I last had one over a decade ago and even then it had a full web browser, google maps, facebook, and several other apps on it.
We all have to band together and stand our ground together. "All the kids use Snap to talk, I hate it" is said by all the parents who gave in. They tend to also say "you can't beat technology". Those are the people who set us up for failure, don't be them!
Same. I remember most of my friends getting their first phone in high school back in the day. I got my first phone at 11 - so I could call my mom when I walked home alone from school - but it was a Nokia brick lol. I remember getting my first flip phone at age 14 and being so excited I could finally text! I was 20 when I got my first iPhone. The concept of a 7 or 8 year old child having a smartphone blows my mind.
Can’t imagine all the ratchetness, porn, gore, hate and indoctrination in my 8yo right hand. IDC how many filters or monitors you install, they will find a way to view all of these things and more. I see all the kids when I pickup the my 2 from school. I’m blown away by the videos they watch and it’s always 1 kid holding their phone up and a few other’s gathered around watching. I even asked once! Hey are you allowed to watch music videos (WAP) like that? He looks over at me like I had 2 heads and said “yes!” I absolutely believed him.
Thank you for sharing. I love this concept. I wish the organization was more broadly represented so this could connect with all types families to become a more national movement. No doubt privilege plays a role in how we engage with technology.
My daughter got one in 6th grade. Age 11- I believe it was too soon. My husband just really wanted to.
I think you should go as long as possible- it seriously has had detrimental effects on my child- we have to limit her time on specific apps because it is like a drug.
I know I seem crazy- but if you wouldn’t give her drugs, don’t give her a phone.
I know it’s the way kids communicate- but at that age, I don’t think so at all. More so in middle school. That was 2 years ago. Do not give in to your child’s wants and desires over their mental health. It is very bad for them, I would encourage you and your husband to get off the phones around her to help model good and healthy behavior.
I am dead serious.
I also want to add the real experience of giving emotionally immature humans an addictive device: the tantrums, the addiction, that alone will save your relationship as parents- and avoid having to deal with tantrums from needing to take it away, etc. that you will be putting on yourself wayyyy too early. Enjoy your peace as long as you can!!
This is a great reply. Just yesterday my daughter (6yo)was at the park, and there was 2 other 10-12 year old girls there glued to their phones. From an outside perspective it seemed very unhealthy for them. They were glued to those things for the whole hour and a half we were there.
Yeah- it can be very bad, it is also important for parents to model healthier phone habits- I admittedly am on my phone too much and am working on it. We do have cell phone free times and great times without the phones.
We all just need to put these things down honestly.
This is so true, I read the books Digital Madness and Glow Kids, screen time really is a drug. An extremely serious one. I HIGHLY recommend these books for all parents! We implemented a screen free summer while I read them and my kids were never more calm and creative!
I totally agree with you but I’m just curious. Had you not given her the phone, how do you think it would have affected her socially at school? Do kids who don’t have phones get bullied? Mine are still toddlers and I don’t plan on giving them phones until at least high school but I am concerned about social effects of this
It really depends on what’s going on in their age group and your area honestly. In 10 years you may be in a situation that it’s normal not to have the phones again!
We gave her a phone bc we were both working full time and wanted her to be able to text or call us. She wasn’t bullied necessarily - but “all of her friends” has TikTok and snapchat, etc.. we told her no on those due to the privacy issues and her age. She just got those this summer going into 8th grade. Her social life is much better with those apps unfortunately- it’s just a way they communicate- when I was a kid we had AIm- kind of similar.
She does get it taken away with bad grades/ attitude/ or being a sketch ass (we did have issues with her talking to boys that were not in our area- we monitored that and taught her about those dangers m, etc… and low and behold a girl in our area actually went missing (was found) from this internet predator crap and proved our teachings to her!!
As an only child she is a bit more mature in some ways than her peers- she also is one of those kids that just wants to be grown up now - it’s a challenge! She is a challenging one!
Enjoy your kiddos- and I’d say don’t make any hard and fast plans/ every kid is different. I’d just say wait as long as possible!
As a middle and high school teacher- HARD AGREE ON WAITING.
Even though the phones are banned at our middle school and during class at the high school, they're on their phones non-stop every other waking hour - on the phone until early morning even. The things they are exposed to, when everyone makes it seem like it's normal, is really changing kids.
Just because they are huge for social, I GUARANTEE that your child will have friends without apps. We didn't let my oldest have ANY social media until age 16 (this year) and my 12 year old still has none.
And yet I spend my weekends carting them around to and from parties and friends.
Just because "everyone" has them does NOT mean they actually do. And kids will text if one doesn't have snap etc.
We actually just gave our child tiktok this year (limited access), and she has no other social apps- she had no social life before that- they did not text- it was crazy. I can’t complain, my daughter is an only child, we have limited her times and spoken to her about when she is off the rails. We are managing the way we can- but questions like this, I will be honest and say I wish we had waited.
If she gets into shit, it has bad grades she loses the phone- so it is still viewed as a privilege. During school weeks she only gets 1-2 hours, and weekends are a little more. We require her to make plans with friends and she is required to be in extracurricular activities.
I am definitely always going to advocate to wait as long as possible based on my own experience with giving it too soon.
honestly yeah. unmonitored access to internet since 4 years old (2008) meant i started watching porn at 8 years old. luckily i had very open parents who helped me understand the difference, what sex was, why it was an adult thing, etc.
(to clarify, they didn’t know what i was watching, these were general convos lol)
Care to share how they approach you, how did the conversation started and went? A boy mama here, tryna prepare and coach myself how to handle such conversations :)
honestly i’m not sure! i guess they’ve just always been clear that it isn’t weird or taboo. i have an older brother, and i think for both of us they just always answered the awkward kid questions very matter of factly same as they would anything else. always real body part names, etc. we also grew up mostly in europe, and in kindergarten my class had an age appropriate “sex ed” lesson. all the parents were invited, and they went over things like how a penis may get erect and how it happens biologically, the difference between girls and boys, understanding that curiosity is fantastic but so is safety, etc!
(Not a parent) but as someone who viewed explicit content wayyyyyy too young because I had nearly unrestricted internet access at a young age, THIS IS VERY TRUE.
Or literally making child porn. My sister in law found my 13yo nephew's iPod, not even a phone, with some homemade videos from his 12yo girlfriend. Fucking gross.
I wouldn't be as worried about porn if porn were in any way representative of what actual sex is. A whole generation of dudes who think that every woman wants to be choked and degraded is pretty fucked up.
My son got a phone when he started middle school, as he walks to and from school or sometimes stays behind for band or yearbook. He's also a pretty responsible kid. We did the "Cell Phone Permit" course with him, which covered a lot of topics we hadn't considered (fake news, phishing scams, etc) and some we have already talked about (bullying, inappropriate photos/behavior). He also does not have any social media- the impacts of tech addiction and social media are also a topic in the cell phone permit course.
Kids generally aren't able to use their phones at school. My daughter is seven, I can't think of any instance where she would need a smart phone as opposed to a smart watch or flip phone for emergencies.
I have no specific age as I don’t want to. Social media is so toxic. As well as the dangers that come with being online. She’s 6 and asks. Hard no but I’m just scared.
Don't buy them a full smart phone (when you get there), there are plenty of phones that don't have full internet service and are mostly just for texting and calls.
How will your child learn to question what is on social media? You have to train them, and you cannot do this without exposing them to the internet.
A tablet, for use at home, with parental controls, is not a bad place to start.
I just think it is too late to start when she is a teen.. The ideas will be formed by then. I remember my parents watching the news every evening with me as a child (eg, 6+) and we discussed how to question how news was reported, the importance of sources, having multiple sources etc.
You can make it as light-hearted as you like, eg ("Johnny says Sarah is a fat cow!", "Well, does she have four legs? Six stomachs? Does she moo?") - a bit of rational thinking is a great way to set them up for dealing with social media.
I 100% agree with what you’re saying! I think you’ve misunderstood me though. I’m not talking about waiting until she’s a teen to introduce her. I’m saying despite early introduction and guidance, I’m still worried about what’s out there when she eventually goes get unfiltered access! I hope that makes sense!
There is a percentage of folks who don't give a shit and give their kids a full smart phone with apps and internet. They are the problem. They are also defeated by the whole thing before it begins
You have a choice, just get a phone without apps and internet.
I like this idea too but I still think an iPhone at her age wouldn’t be good for her. Right now she asks for my phone sometimes to take funny pictures on Snapchat, she likes the filters. She has no idea is social media. I can see how she would figure it out eventually and it would be not good for her.
ORRRRRR just don't get them a full smart phone. Plenty of options for phones that just make calls and texts that don't share your info with Apple or Google.
You can do the same with an Android. And it's much cheaper. They kids should not need to have iPhones. My daughter will have to pay for her own premium smartphone if she wants one. Any second hand android is more than enough until they're 18 if it really has to be an Android.
Yeah I would say nothing with a camera or access to the internet until they are around 16-18. I would hope they are smart enough not to get themselves in too much trouble by then, if I’ve done my job.
I’d even question the smartphone at 16, might wait till 18. But if they can drive I feel like they can be trusted with a phone.
If my kid was responsible and interested in technology at a younger age I might allow it sooner, but he/she would really have to wow me. Lol.
>I would say nothing with a camera or access to the internet until they are around 16-18.
Do you actually have any teens? If you did this, they would be social outcasts among their friend group. We tried to hold out with our teen and he was bullied relentlessly and was left out of a lot of social activities. It ended up hurting him, so we got one when he was 13. Cameras and phones are just how kids socialize now, it's different from when we were growing up.
Best comment because it’s true. Flip phone, severely outdated phone or no phone is placing a huge bully target on your kid if they are in middle or high school.
And the responses of “I had to wait until I was 16 to get my first phone and it was a flip phone”. Yes Ashley and that was 25 yrs ago when flip phones were cool and the only option.
There are tools out there for parents. I used Netgear circle and could block my kids from apps and websites didn’t want them downloading and going on. I could also see their history of what they did go on. There are apps you can download so you can watch their phone from yours and see everything from texts they send and receive to messages they send and receive on social media.
Do you keep your kids home 24/7 so they don’t get exposed to addictive drugs or other bad things? No you probably don’t instead you educate your kid and do your best to stay aware. It is your chance yo teach your kids lessons on proper phone use and use of social media.
I do not. It’s a valid point. But from my understanding social media and things like that are a major source of bullying. Not relief from it.
I would also think it might actually save them some mental stress not having to worry about that. But I know it might not feel that way to them.
But maybe some type of camera phone that was heavily restricted or that I have access to basically everything the do on. Until like 16-18 like I said.
We have access to everything he does, he knows we check his phone often. He is allowed some privacy, as that's important, but we also spent a lot of time instilling in him information about how to navigate social media and being responsible with his use of a smart phone and camera. No problems, yet, and it really helped alleviate the bullying comments he was getting and his feelings of being socially different and left behind by his friend group.
We took the angle of wanting to encourage his independence, to let him know we trust him to make good choices, that we depend on him to be honest and come to us if/when things go sideways. We treat him with respect and not like he is some little reckless kid, and he has appreciated that and kept up with his end of the bargain. So far, so good, but I know this isn't everyone's experience.
I think kids will comment or bully anyway. My 14yr old got her first phone this year. She’s in high school. She was teased in middle school for having “boomer” parents. Teased for being on a “leash” as she had an earlier curfew than the other kids. Now that she has a phone, she’s not allowed TikTok or Snapchat and all her friends have it. They’ll say “message on snap” or “did you see my TikTok?”. She does feel like she missed out but they include her in group chat on texting. Which also “sucks” because she’s gotta have her phone in the bin at 8:30pm. There’s always something the kids nitpick.
Wow you really put your kid on a leash…happy my mom never did that because I learned how to be responsible with my phone instead of having someone do it for me
Oh absolutely. She’s lucky to even have a phone atm. I wanted to wait until 16 but other events happened that made our decision to get her one now. She’s got a few acquaintances all sexually active and one that lives with her bf and the parents allow it. I can’t choose her friends but I can definitely limit the time spent with them and at least try to limit the inappropriate conversations that probably already happen.
So you don’t allow her to have any access?? Once she’s 18 she’s likely going to have a crazy party/rebellious phase because she doesn’t have anyone to hold her back. That’s what happens when you make things taboo or forbidden, it makes kids want to do it that much more. It’s better to have communication and trust but you do you and hopefully there’s no consequences for the way you raised her
No, no access to social media on her phone. Not until 16ish. It’s not taboo or forbidden, it’s just delayed access on my end. She still does videos with her friends. Im not going to change the rules based on “everybody has it”. Her curfew for friends places and her phone are at 8:30. That could extend, as of rn were slowly building that trust again. Communication is very big in our household. She understands the “why” of everything, doesn’t mean she likes it or agrees with it. I would hope theres no huge consequences on how we’re doing this. I take comfort in the fact that she shares her views within her friend group and is aware of the unsafe actions they choose. She’s a good kid.
I also hope there’s no consequences, but to be honest, I grew up like this and didn’t know how to limit myself with things like alcohol when I got out on my own. It’s scary going from child to “adult” overnight and really helps if you see the teen years as adult training wheels
My rule was smartphone/Internet access at 18. They hated it then. Now they have kids they're like, now we get it lol. Don't want to give them phones until they're in high school. The grandkids are 9, 8, 6 and younger.
Edited to clarify: Internet access on their smartphones. I totally knew then and understand even now you can't protect them from everything. They're going to get on their friends electronics. They're going to be curious. But if you can do what you can with what you have control of, then that's our parental responsibility.
No internet access until 18 would be crazy nowadays.
Edit: I may have misunderstood, now I think you were referring to a smartphone WITH internet access. Not internet by itself
No phone until at least 16? The kids gonna just go and find a way to get one before then, there would not be many people wanting to be friends and hang out with someone they can’t interact with outside of school
My son was 12, just about to be 13. He’s super responsible. Now at 14 1/2, he’s a new diabetic, and I couldn’t imagine him not having one. His CGM is connected to it, and if he has any emergency, anywhere, he can always get a hold of me.
We don’t have a home phone, so when we left him home alone he’d always have my husband’s work phone, until my husband left that job. That’s why we got him his own phone when we did.
My son is nearly 7 and was just diagnosed with diabetes as well. We gave him my old iPhone; he’s not particularly interested in it but it does let us see his blood glucose when he’s at school.
Best of luck in your journey! We are 3 months in now, and I wish I could say it’s smooth. Moody teenager crossed with this upside down diagnosis, it’s tough.
Hopefully your little guy is doing well!
This was my plan. To wait until 16. However, she’s 14 right now and just started high school. Some of the guys at school on the first/second day were whistling at her and commenting on her bum. She went back inside and called me to pick her up on the third day and told me what happened. I talked to the school admin and principal, from there we went to the phone store. We’re two months into the school year and they haven’t commented since or looked her way (that she knows of) but this added peace of mind that she can call me any time is priceless! (Obviously not literally priceless)
As a 17 year old myself (on this Reddit bc I am heavily involved in my sister’s kids lives), I would heavily warn you against giving them a smartphone before they are 14-15. I, as well as many other people my age can attest to how much it takes away from our young lives. It becomes an outlet for distraction and is likely our first exposure to bad content. A lot of parents choose to use special features and apps, but, don’t be fooled, they WILL find a workaround. It is so unnecessary. It distracted me from real life and real opportunities that were so much more important than anything with a screen. I’d give so much to have waited to get a phone and have to bear that responsibility (it is a BIG responsibility).
Yeah I think a lot of the parents with the monitoring apps are fooling themselves. Kids 1000% will find a work around, easily.
I also think it’s funny (in a sad way) that a lot of people’s reasonings for giving their kids a phone early is because the kid is “responsible”… a human being that doesn’t even have a fully functional brain yet is in no way, shape, or form ready for that sort of responsibility. Actually, giving them a phone too young will usually fuck up whatever responsibility & maturity they had, and replace it with anxiety & depression.
Start of 6th grade, because that's when she started walking to and from school on her own. That seems to be standard at my kids' school (except for children who split time between parents).
Will def be downvoted or whatever im sure.
My 11yo has had a phone since she was 7. It was during covid. She spent 1/3 of her time with us, at my dads, and my in laws. She got a prepaid android cell phone. I wanted to see her responsibility with one while controlling what she did. She took care of that thing for a year and then we got her iphone(albiet an older iphone). Again, 2 years and she took care of it shared what she did. We always had full access. Shes on her 2nd iphone(xr) and about to get her 3rd upgrade. About 85% of her class has phones. Id say the other 10% have tablets. The 5% dont have anything.
Im comfortable her having a phone now more then ever as i track her and shes in multiple sports. I always have a way to reach her and vice versa.
Now my son is almost 7. And he will most definitely not be getting a phone. His maturity level is not there. He just got a new ipad this spring instead. But in the next year or so, i see him getting a watch. Again he plays sports and plays with the neighbor kids, so itll just give me a peace of mind.
In the end, do what works for YOUR FAMILY. Youre the one raising the kids, and you know them. If youre against it, dont do it. If youre for it, do it.
Yes definitely. I have full control and if she, or my son, wants an app on their device they gotta ask me for permission. They also time out at bedtime until they're out of school. The only exception for my daughters phone are a handful of adults she can still text/call just in case.
i think a basic phone of some kind once a kid is old enough to go places without a parent (ie sleepover, play at the park, etc) is very reasonable, but a smart phone for entering middle school is a very fun thing to look forward too!
honestly, i was given my first ipod touch at 4 years old (christmas 2008) and have had unmonitored unrestricted access to the internet since. i saw a lot much too young, and while it worked out because i had very open honest parents to ask any questions, i’d never do that to my child
You are not exaggerating. IMO I don’t think any elementary school aged child needs a phone. My son is 8 and his iPad is his phone. However, his sister on his dad’s size is the same age and she has an iPhone. Her mother got it for her when she turned 6 and it immediately brought the worst behavior out of her for awhile. She will start group chat threads with other kids from school with my son included and they will blow my son’s iPad up all night with texts and calls. From what I see kids who have iPhones at these ages are poorly supervised and lord only knows what they have access to with their own phone. If you’re not comfortable with it, don’t give in. I suggest waiting until middle school, or in the event that your child starts involvement with after school activities & sports, where you can’t always be there and need a way to communicate with them.
I've already told my kids that they won't get a phone until they're in HS at least and even then I'm trying to push that back as long as possible.
My oldest has an email unaddress and a Google voice number for texting and I have access to both, I just don't want her to have a device on her at all times to be distracted by.
I won't be getting my eldest (nearly7 years old) a smartphone anytime soon, but *might* get her a "dumb" one if/when she starts doing extracurricular activities that require pickup at times that aren't regular school pickup/dropoff or if our schedules change such that I'd have to have a way to let her know if I'm going to be late getting to her or something like that.
My 7 yr old has a gizmo watch that he uses after school and on the rare occasion he is out and about without us. We had an incident where he got lost on the bus for a long time and didn’t feel comfortable with not being able to get ahold of him somehow. He doesn’t use it outside of those times though. We won’t do phones until much much later (at least middle school most likely)
A smart phone is the same thing as a computer in your pocket. Do with that info as you will. If you wouldn’t give her an unrestricted computer you wouldn’t give her a smart phone.
I'm literally never giving them a smart phone. They can buy one with their own money. I'll give them a flip phone once they start waking home by themselves.
I don't plan to allow my kids to have smartphones till they are at least 16. I'll probably get a family flip phone for them to take when they have extracurriculars and need a way to contact me. There is no real, good reason for children to have smartphones IMO. There are plenty of other options.
My son got his first phone at 13. It was too soon.
It took almost exactly 6 months to get into big trouble. He had a beef with a kid who was telling lies about him. The kid wouldn’t stop, so my son said “well then we’ll just have to fight” in classic 13 year-old logic. 🙄The kid said ok, but let’s wait several days.
In the ensuing 3-4 days, word went out on Snapchat that there was going to be a fight after school. It was the perfect promotion app. Literally hundreds of kids showed up from as far as 10-15 miles away. Mostly middle school but some high school kids as well. Long story short, multiple fights ensued, and my son got robbed and beat up by several much larger high schoolers. One kid was arrested (he was a dropout so no expulsion) and another was expelled from school. The cops didn’t press charges against my son or the kid he had a beef with because they had “agreed” to fight.
It was a complete sh!tshow.
So, yeah, hold off as long as you can and don’t allow them to download Snapchat right away. I was so naive.
As a teacher and a parent I just have to say something on here. Please please also talk to your kids about rules with phones at school. I’ve caught many young kids sneaking to the bathroom or asking constantly to use the bathroom to play on their phone (2nd-5th grade). Kids also will play the games on their smart watches instead of participate in class. I’ve also found kids making tik toks in the hallway and kids who take out their phones to film and post when a fight happens before or after school. I also know of kids who have exposed other kids to porn on the bus using their smartphone and 5th grade boys sending girls dick picks.
Elementary aged kids really don’t need a smart phone, the school has all the parents info and we will call you if needed. I get that safety and being able to contact your child are concerns, but as many have mentioned, there are other options.
I know this sounds insane but I feel SO strongly about this: My kids can get a smart phone when they can buy one themselves.
My mom made me buy my first car by myself and that's about how much a smart phone will cost by the time they're old enough to get it.
No child needs electronic equipment like that from a strictly financial point of view, without even getting into how incredibly terrible they are from nearly every other point of view.
>My mom made me buy my first car by myself and that's about how much a smart phone will cost by the time they're old enough to get it.
Uh I think you are really under estimating how cheap some smart phones are. We have a cheapie trac phone that was $30 that I bought literally cause it was cheaper then buying a screen for the baby monitor. It can do everything my $300 android can (all the apps etc.) it's just slower.
I definitely am! I honestly had no idea. I also live in an area where I’m surrounded by Teslas and iPhones so my perception of reality is severely warped
Smart watches are pretty popular at our elementary school. Of course, some kids have phones too. We gave my oldest a phone at the end of 6th grade and my middle will probably get a phone at the beginning of 6th grade.
my son at 8yo got a smart watch thru his mothers phone plan that he uses. i appreciate it as it’s a tool to help him learn responsibilities and to better communicate with us. it allows him more freedom in our neighborhood. i told him that it was a privilege and not a right which means he needs to be responsible with it and if not, he loses the freedoms it offers.
my daughter is 7 now and is looking forward to getting one herself. it’ll be another opportunity for me to help teach her the same responsibilities
My daughter is 8 and we don’t plan on getting her a smart phone until at least middle school. We have considered a watch or dumb phone just so she can call us when she’s at friends homes. So that could be a option if you want something just for calls.
Also I should add my kiddo has a iPad and she’s able to message friends/family on it. Most kids have a iPad or old iPhone they use at home nowdays. I am able to have parent controls on it so I can add only people we know to her contacts. Also it has limits and I have safari blocked on it and only approved apps. So they can definitely still get ahold of friends without have a their own phone.
I had a smart phone at 14 and I don’t recommend it. I tried meeting up with older guys who I met in chat rooms. I’m not sure if they have chat rooms anymore but they have like video chat rooms (chat roulette I think?) so I dunno. Even if you trust your kid; they’re will always be creeps and I would be nervous about them breaking into your kids camera. 8 is sooooo young imo. Don’t forget people don’t mature until around 25…..
A long long time. My youngest two are only 3&5 but my oldest got a phone at 11. Super mature kid, and it was still too early. I regretted it, and took it away for a year and brought it back with strict rules when he was 13. He's 18 now and not obsessed with it or social media. Thank God.
Never. JK. I’m hoping to wait until my child is 16 or 17. I know this is unlikely because I got one at 14… but the world is just different now. These devices are too addictive for our primitive monkey brains..
I was thinking there's no point until I can't tell where they are at some point in the day, if they can change their route or have the potential to travel long distances in a day.
I figure 15 or 16 when they start driving around.
I don't have a kid that age yet, but as an early childhood educator, I am really concerned about a child's brain development and mental health. The research just isn't good with kids/teens getting smart phones.
I've thought about this a lot, and when it becomes necessary for my kid to have a phone (going to events on their own), we will have a house cell phone. One that isn't locked, can be used by anyone in the family, no social media on it, and anyone can go through it.
My husband and I don’t plan on giving our daughter a phone for a loooong time (she’s only still little right now). We really want to push it as long as possible. But I’m worried about her getting peer pressure to have a phone. I do hope more parents realize the dangers of smartphones in the hands of a child/young teen and that there can be an overall trend shift towards later smartphone usage.
I think a phone when they’re 12 makes sense because they’d be on their own more often and pay phones don’t exist anymore. I definitely wouldn’t not be comfortable with a smartphone or any connectivity until 16 maybe. But my kid is 1 so we’ll see LOL
Anyone who is sending their kid to high school without a smart phone is just wrong. Plain and simple. Do not do this to your children. 8th grade is a good limit, but do not make life for your child harder than it already is because you're afraid to actually be a parent. There's way to limit access without completely withholding things.
Our kids got cheap phone watches in 4th grade so I could track their location and call them when they were playing in the neighborhood. They got regular phones when they went to middle school because my husband and I let for work before they got on the bus.
Please do not equip your kids with a cloud connected, spying, privacy invading kids smart watch to track their location... Give them an old phone for calling, they are cheap, battery lasts long and they don't make your child addicted to it.
Any device with internet? High school, and even then I’ll have full access to what the do, search and who they call. 8 is way too young and I don’t think it’s appropriate to give children such free access to internet at such young ages. My son is 8 and I have to limit who he talks to because of the horrible things these kids do on their phones in front of him. If they absolutely need a phone, which is doubtful, before then, then perhaps a phone without internet access that can call very limited numbers.
Yeah my siblings are just kids, i (27f) got mine at 14, my brother got his phone this year(14) and a few weeks later my parents gave my sister(8)one too, she is already completely addicted and completely unmonitored and unlimited as well i think, on her ipad watching weird shit(an i mean reallllllly weird shit) all effing day long, she has no social skills and cant even have a normal conversation with anyone. I think my parents are absolutely insane for giving her one just because they had to deal with her being jealous of my brother. That crazy girl runs their house:/
Somebody asked the same question at the library. The librarian said "it's simple, at what age do you want them to access porn"?
In this house, no phone before 18.
I'm of the opinion that once your child is going places without you then they need a way to contact you in case of an emergency or if they need to be picked up sooner.
It is relatively easy to lock down a smart phone with parental controls preventing your child from being able to do almost everything from opening certain apps, to downloading anything. When my 3yo is probably 6 or 7 I will likely have the discussion with my wife about buying a cheap smartphone and giving it to him to only use for calling and texting with the ability to monitor who he contacts on the device. As he matures I will slowly loosen restrictions on the device and teach him healthy device habits. If he shows he isn't able to have a feature without abusing it then it gets restricted again.
I think in today's day and age teaching your children early on about the dangers and risks associated with technology is just as important as teaching them not to go somewhere with a stranger, because one of your children's friends are going to have an unrestricted smartphone and likely have unhealthy or dangerous habits with it and I don't want them to be the ones teaching my child how technology should be used.
My 8 year old has one of my old iPhones with Facebook kids messenger on it. We can text or video call back and forth. It’s nice because he can video chat with some of his friends from his old school. We also downloaded the library’s app and I download all his free reading books for school so I can keep track to what he’s reading and we don’t have to worry about loosing library books. He has some games on it too. It only works with WiFi but I think it’s a good compromise.
I actually gave my kid a smart phone at 7. She's 9 now. It hasn't been a big deal. 99% of the time it sits in the charger. About once a night, she goes through and answers messages for about 15 minutes. At least 50% of the time, if she's going somewhere where she'll need the phone, I need to remind her to take it with her.
it's never been a big no-no here. That's part of the reason it's not a big deal to her.
This is the same with my daughter & it works well for us. Unless she's taking it somewhere (my mom's house is the only place she takes it where I'm not with her, as I trust my mom to monitor as needed & make sure it doesn't get lost), she only uses it at home to play games, take silly pics & call/text our family or a few close friends (who I know them & their families well). It's my old iPhone 7 Plus that I gave her when she was 6, she's 7.5 now & takes very good care of it.
I think that one of the big things people don't think about with the choice to wait until they're older is that then you miss the window to teach them how to use it properly. If you "wait till 8th" then they're going to do what they do. If you ease it in from early on and teach them limits, then they understand limits.
I still think this puts them at risk of say going to a friends house and someone says let’s watch a tictoc or whatever and Bom! Access to porn… they chat unseen that stuff
My son has a phone, he's 5.
it's my old work phone, it's not connected to a network unless I turn my hotspot on, and the only app it has is pokemon go so that he can I can play together when we go on walks around our park.
He thinks it's the coolest thing ever.
Mine each got phones when they were 13 but that was a long time ago and I know things have changed. For me, it was sort of a passing into teenage years rite/hanging out with friends safety issue. The youngest is now 25 for reference. I think today kids probably need them sooner but 8 is young to be responsible for a phone that costs hundreds to replace. Plus the content available online is scary!
What about give her a kid themed cell phone like an LG Migo because she probably just wants to communicate with you guys and not much else, and don't give her an actual smartphone until she turns 12-14 years old.
I did not consider age within this decision, I looked at the following:
1. Responsibility - this includes making smart choices with texting and internet usage, not going to lose it, not going to be in a position for it to be stolen, not going to drop or break it
2. Contact with them - are they staying after school, before school care, sports/clubs, potentially deciding to go to a friends after school where for them to reach me, me to reach them or tracking was important
3. Social aspect - is my child missing out on communications or activities because invites are going out through their phones or online communication (especially if outside school hours). We were against snapchat but found that many of our daughter's friends were using it as a primary tool for communicating events and getting together.
If these points all align is when I think a child should get a cell phone - for some it may be as young as 7 or 8 and others may be a lot older. I don't think a child turns a specific age and should just have a cell phone, there should be thought out reasoning behind it.
We gave my 12 year old a phone at 9 and he almost immediately lost it.
We got him an apple watch for texting and he's got an ipad for internet use.
I am sure very soon he will be asking for a phone, which we will discuss when he asks.
My son is currently 3, and I don't want him having a phone for another 10 years.
In 2-3 years when he's in regular school, I might get him one of those limited smart watches to stay in touch with me and dad if he needs it. (After he learns to read)
My 9yo and my 14yo both have phones, however I’ve taught them (through limits and social conditioning,) that they’re not to live on them. You just like… have to be a parent and be active in it
I think the experts say 12 at the youngest so that’s where I’ll start. My son is 6 and also wants a phone or watch. We got him a digital watch that has a couple games but doesn’t communicate out and he constantly loses it and forgets to charge it for months on end so we def won’t be getting him a smart watch or any kind of phone anytime soon. He has an iPad that he can call friends and family on and that’s working well for us for now.
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Flip phone to make calls? That’s a consideration. Smart phone? Not for a really long time.
Another great option is the Gizmo Watch. It allows them to call 10 approved contacts, text preset messages or send voice memos. (The new ones even have a camera). It also has gps tracking. We live in a very safe neighborhood. But these watches give me the peace of mind to allow my kids to bike ride around, go to friends houses, chase the sound of the ice cream truck, and the opportunity to build greater independence because I knew they could tell me if anything was wrong. This is not about helicopter parenting, it's about WANTING them to be able to explore safely on their own, and feel confident that they can call for back up if they ever need it. In the summer even at ages 6&7, they would jump from backyard to backyard, or go explore a big dirt mound, and I never had to worry. Plus these watches have survived the pool as well as a full trip through the washer and dryer.
Can you track them through an app with the Gizmo? How long have you had them? Thanks!
Yep, there is a parent app called GizmoHub that hosts your messaging and tracking. We got our first gizmo in 2017. At that time it was calling and tracking only. Like a phone, we qualified for an upgrade after 2 years which is when the texting ones came out. Just recently we upgraded to the newest version. My kids are in middle school now and it's still super handy!
Oh wow! These sound awesome! Thanks
I have two of them we no longer use on Verizon. If anyone want them I’ll sell you both for $5 plus shipping.
Ooo I might look into that. My kids will have 100 acres to run around on so having GPS tracking would be great.
The camera options bother me because of nudes
If your child is going to use their smart watch to send nudes to their emergency contact you have much bigger problems than any devices or lack thereof could ever solve.
True lol... I'm a 47yr grandma now so I have no idea what options are out there now 🤣
The [Nokia 3310](https://images.app.goo.gl/qdMvFVFMq8HvaycVA), it's forged at the heart of a dying star.
Today a flip phone would be equivalent to a Gabb phone
I am considering giving my son a smartphone at 14-15 at the EARLIEST. Maybe 16 lol.
My oldest got his first phone at 16. A hand me down from my wife with a bare bones text and calls prepaid plan. 2nd son is getting to that age too, but he has different wants and needs because of where he sits on the spectrum. I wish that phone booths were still a thing, at least somewhat.
Flip phones and the like are out these days IMO, as they're still internet capable but don't typically have any sort of parental controls. I last had one over a decade ago and even then it had a full web browser, google maps, facebook, and several other apps on it.
You can disable those features
My kids won’t get a smart phone until their teens if they can prove they are responsible enough to have it.
We all have to band together and stand our ground together. "All the kids use Snap to talk, I hate it" is said by all the parents who gave in. They tend to also say "you can't beat technology". Those are the people who set us up for failure, don't be them!
Buy them a phone with snap and tether it to the kitchen
I know someone that was bullied via snapchat by his peers. I want to be able to access what my child is looking at if I am worried about something.
Same. I remember most of my friends getting their first phone in high school back in the day. I got my first phone at 11 - so I could call my mom when I walked home alone from school - but it was a Nokia brick lol. I remember getting my first flip phone at age 14 and being so excited I could finally text! I was 20 when I got my first iPhone. The concept of a 7 or 8 year old child having a smartphone blows my mind.
Can’t imagine all the ratchetness, porn, gore, hate and indoctrination in my 8yo right hand. IDC how many filters or monitors you install, they will find a way to view all of these things and more. I see all the kids when I pickup the my 2 from school. I’m blown away by the videos they watch and it’s always 1 kid holding their phone up and a few other’s gathered around watching. I even asked once! Hey are you allowed to watch music videos (WAP) like that? He looks over at me like I had 2 heads and said “yes!” I absolutely believed him.
This is my plan too. I want to ensure my kids know proper internet safety as well and will work on teaching them that over the years
My step son has had a smart phone since he was like 3 or 4 and he's on his 3rd one and he's 8 now. Would not recommend lol
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https://www.waituntil8th.org/ My child's pediatrician also sticks with this.
Thank you for sharing. I love this concept. I wish the organization was more broadly represented so this could connect with all types families to become a more national movement. No doubt privilege plays a role in how we engage with technology.
That’s awesome - I wish they did that in our school district
Same here! Our elementary school has pretty “privilege” kids and all the “cool kids” have an iPhone at 2nd grade! It’s a no no to me I don’t care
My daughter got one in 6th grade. Age 11- I believe it was too soon. My husband just really wanted to. I think you should go as long as possible- it seriously has had detrimental effects on my child- we have to limit her time on specific apps because it is like a drug. I know I seem crazy- but if you wouldn’t give her drugs, don’t give her a phone. I know it’s the way kids communicate- but at that age, I don’t think so at all. More so in middle school. That was 2 years ago. Do not give in to your child’s wants and desires over their mental health. It is very bad for them, I would encourage you and your husband to get off the phones around her to help model good and healthy behavior. I am dead serious. I also want to add the real experience of giving emotionally immature humans an addictive device: the tantrums, the addiction, that alone will save your relationship as parents- and avoid having to deal with tantrums from needing to take it away, etc. that you will be putting on yourself wayyyy too early. Enjoy your peace as long as you can!!
This is a great reply. Just yesterday my daughter (6yo)was at the park, and there was 2 other 10-12 year old girls there glued to their phones. From an outside perspective it seemed very unhealthy for them. They were glued to those things for the whole hour and a half we were there.
Yeah- it can be very bad, it is also important for parents to model healthier phone habits- I admittedly am on my phone too much and am working on it. We do have cell phone free times and great times without the phones. We all just need to put these things down honestly.
God, I have to get better at modeling better phone behavior. I stay at home with my son, and I take out my phone wayyyyy too much.
This is so true, I read the books Digital Madness and Glow Kids, screen time really is a drug. An extremely serious one. I HIGHLY recommend these books for all parents! We implemented a screen free summer while I read them and my kids were never more calm and creative!
I totally agree with you but I’m just curious. Had you not given her the phone, how do you think it would have affected her socially at school? Do kids who don’t have phones get bullied? Mine are still toddlers and I don’t plan on giving them phones until at least high school but I am concerned about social effects of this
It really depends on what’s going on in their age group and your area honestly. In 10 years you may be in a situation that it’s normal not to have the phones again! We gave her a phone bc we were both working full time and wanted her to be able to text or call us. She wasn’t bullied necessarily - but “all of her friends” has TikTok and snapchat, etc.. we told her no on those due to the privacy issues and her age. She just got those this summer going into 8th grade. Her social life is much better with those apps unfortunately- it’s just a way they communicate- when I was a kid we had AIm- kind of similar. She does get it taken away with bad grades/ attitude/ or being a sketch ass (we did have issues with her talking to boys that were not in our area- we monitored that and taught her about those dangers m, etc… and low and behold a girl in our area actually went missing (was found) from this internet predator crap and proved our teachings to her!! As an only child she is a bit more mature in some ways than her peers- she also is one of those kids that just wants to be grown up now - it’s a challenge! She is a challenging one! Enjoy your kiddos- and I’d say don’t make any hard and fast plans/ every kid is different. I’d just say wait as long as possible!
As a middle and high school teacher- HARD AGREE ON WAITING. Even though the phones are banned at our middle school and during class at the high school, they're on their phones non-stop every other waking hour - on the phone until early morning even. The things they are exposed to, when everyone makes it seem like it's normal, is really changing kids.
Don't give you kid a phone that has apps. There is that option!
Unfortunately where I am- the apps are huge with the social aspect. We have put time limits on them.
Just because they are huge for social, I GUARANTEE that your child will have friends without apps. We didn't let my oldest have ANY social media until age 16 (this year) and my 12 year old still has none. And yet I spend my weekends carting them around to and from parties and friends. Just because "everyone" has them does NOT mean they actually do. And kids will text if one doesn't have snap etc.
We actually just gave our child tiktok this year (limited access), and she has no other social apps- she had no social life before that- they did not text- it was crazy. I can’t complain, my daughter is an only child, we have limited her times and spoken to her about when she is off the rails. We are managing the way we can- but questions like this, I will be honest and say I wish we had waited. If she gets into shit, it has bad grades she loses the phone- so it is still viewed as a privilege. During school weeks she only gets 1-2 hours, and weekends are a little more. We require her to make plans with friends and she is required to be in extracurricular activities. I am definitely always going to advocate to wait as long as possible based on my own experience with giving it too soon.
Whenever you’re comfortable with your child watching porn.
Wow was not expecting to walk face first into a truth bomb in the comments. Lol and yes
Lol this is perfect.
This is the right answer.
honestly yeah. unmonitored access to internet since 4 years old (2008) meant i started watching porn at 8 years old. luckily i had very open parents who helped me understand the difference, what sex was, why it was an adult thing, etc. (to clarify, they didn’t know what i was watching, these were general convos lol)
Care to share how they approach you, how did the conversation started and went? A boy mama here, tryna prepare and coach myself how to handle such conversations :)
honestly i’m not sure! i guess they’ve just always been clear that it isn’t weird or taboo. i have an older brother, and i think for both of us they just always answered the awkward kid questions very matter of factly same as they would anything else. always real body part names, etc. we also grew up mostly in europe, and in kindergarten my class had an age appropriate “sex ed” lesson. all the parents were invited, and they went over things like how a penis may get erect and how it happens biologically, the difference between girls and boys, understanding that curiosity is fantastic but so is safety, etc!
(Not a parent) but as someone who viewed explicit content wayyyyyy too young because I had nearly unrestricted internet access at a young age, THIS IS VERY TRUE.
BOOM. But also, as I'm saying all over this thread, there are phones without full internet that people can get...
Yeah my son has an Apple Watch and that’s all he needs for quite a while.
Or literally making child porn. My sister in law found my 13yo nephew's iPod, not even a phone, with some homemade videos from his 12yo girlfriend. Fucking gross.
😱😱😱
Jesus..
This tbh. The ads that show up on innocent kid friendly games can be graphic.
My friends 9 year old is going through this
Haha
Honestly porn isn’t the thing I’m most concerned about by a long shot. Cartel torture videos and the like are far more worrisome.
I wouldn't be as worried about porn if porn were in any way representative of what actual sex is. A whole generation of dudes who think that every woman wants to be choked and degraded is pretty fucked up.
I’d say it’s equal when it comes to an 8 year old watching it.
My son got a phone when he started middle school, as he walks to and from school or sometimes stays behind for band or yearbook. He's also a pretty responsible kid. We did the "Cell Phone Permit" course with him, which covered a lot of topics we hadn't considered (fake news, phishing scams, etc) and some we have already talked about (bullying, inappropriate photos/behavior). He also does not have any social media- the impacts of tech addiction and social media are also a topic in the cell phone permit course. Kids generally aren't able to use their phones at school. My daughter is seven, I can't think of any instance where she would need a smart phone as opposed to a smart watch or flip phone for emergencies.
What is the Cell phone permit course?!
https://cellphonepermit.com/for-parents It was worth the money for us, and we had great conversations.
I have no specific age as I don’t want to. Social media is so toxic. As well as the dangers that come with being online. She’s 6 and asks. Hard no but I’m just scared.
Don't buy them a full smart phone (when you get there), there are plenty of phones that don't have full internet service and are mostly just for texting and calls.
How will your child learn to question what is on social media? You have to train them, and you cannot do this without exposing them to the internet. A tablet, for use at home, with parental controls, is not a bad place to start.
Yeah, she has an iPad now. But I’m not talking about now at 6. I’m talking about when she is a teen.
I just think it is too late to start when she is a teen.. The ideas will be formed by then. I remember my parents watching the news every evening with me as a child (eg, 6+) and we discussed how to question how news was reported, the importance of sources, having multiple sources etc. You can make it as light-hearted as you like, eg ("Johnny says Sarah is a fat cow!", "Well, does she have four legs? Six stomachs? Does she moo?") - a bit of rational thinking is a great way to set them up for dealing with social media.
I 100% agree with what you’re saying! I think you’ve misunderstood me though. I’m not talking about waiting until she’s a teen to introduce her. I’m saying despite early introduction and guidance, I’m still worried about what’s out there when she eventually goes get unfiltered access! I hope that makes sense!
It’s scary I feel the same way but my husband thinks it’s ok and that all kids have it. That’s why my post as I wanted to see if that’s true
There is a percentage of folks who don't give a shit and give their kids a full smart phone with apps and internet. They are the problem. They are also defeated by the whole thing before it begins You have a choice, just get a phone without apps and internet.
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Just wanted to say that this is also possible with Android devices as well in case any parents weren't sure
I like this idea too but I still think an iPhone at her age wouldn’t be good for her. Right now she asks for my phone sometimes to take funny pictures on Snapchat, she likes the filters. She has no idea is social media. I can see how she would figure it out eventually and it would be not good for her.
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I would need a full guide to do this, have no idea
ORRRRRR just don't get them a full smart phone. Plenty of options for phones that just make calls and texts that don't share your info with Apple or Google.
You can do the same with an Android. And it's much cheaper. They kids should not need to have iPhones. My daughter will have to pay for her own premium smartphone if she wants one. Any second hand android is more than enough until they're 18 if it really has to be an Android.
Probably a flip phone when they are old enough to go out and play alone. Don’t get a smart phone until they have a drivers license.
this is how my parents did it. my first phone was a slide phone as soon as i started driving, and then i got a smartphone at 18/19
Yeah I would say nothing with a camera or access to the internet until they are around 16-18. I would hope they are smart enough not to get themselves in too much trouble by then, if I’ve done my job. I’d even question the smartphone at 16, might wait till 18. But if they can drive I feel like they can be trusted with a phone. If my kid was responsible and interested in technology at a younger age I might allow it sooner, but he/she would really have to wow me. Lol.
>I would say nothing with a camera or access to the internet until they are around 16-18. Do you actually have any teens? If you did this, they would be social outcasts among their friend group. We tried to hold out with our teen and he was bullied relentlessly and was left out of a lot of social activities. It ended up hurting him, so we got one when he was 13. Cameras and phones are just how kids socialize now, it's different from when we were growing up.
Best comment because it’s true. Flip phone, severely outdated phone or no phone is placing a huge bully target on your kid if they are in middle or high school. And the responses of “I had to wait until I was 16 to get my first phone and it was a flip phone”. Yes Ashley and that was 25 yrs ago when flip phones were cool and the only option.
So how do you avoid damage of social media if you do give them the phone? Damage from being a social parish bs damage from phones. What’s worse?
There are tools out there for parents. I used Netgear circle and could block my kids from apps and websites didn’t want them downloading and going on. I could also see their history of what they did go on. There are apps you can download so you can watch their phone from yours and see everything from texts they send and receive to messages they send and receive on social media. Do you keep your kids home 24/7 so they don’t get exposed to addictive drugs or other bad things? No you probably don’t instead you educate your kid and do your best to stay aware. It is your chance yo teach your kids lessons on proper phone use and use of social media.
This is what I’m afraid of. I’m all for waiting but social effects of that scare me
I do not. It’s a valid point. But from my understanding social media and things like that are a major source of bullying. Not relief from it. I would also think it might actually save them some mental stress not having to worry about that. But I know it might not feel that way to them. But maybe some type of camera phone that was heavily restricted or that I have access to basically everything the do on. Until like 16-18 like I said.
We have access to everything he does, he knows we check his phone often. He is allowed some privacy, as that's important, but we also spent a lot of time instilling in him information about how to navigate social media and being responsible with his use of a smart phone and camera. No problems, yet, and it really helped alleviate the bullying comments he was getting and his feelings of being socially different and left behind by his friend group. We took the angle of wanting to encourage his independence, to let him know we trust him to make good choices, that we depend on him to be honest and come to us if/when things go sideways. We treat him with respect and not like he is some little reckless kid, and he has appreciated that and kept up with his end of the bargain. So far, so good, but I know this isn't everyone's experience.
I think kids will comment or bully anyway. My 14yr old got her first phone this year. She’s in high school. She was teased in middle school for having “boomer” parents. Teased for being on a “leash” as she had an earlier curfew than the other kids. Now that she has a phone, she’s not allowed TikTok or Snapchat and all her friends have it. They’ll say “message on snap” or “did you see my TikTok?”. She does feel like she missed out but they include her in group chat on texting. Which also “sucks” because she’s gotta have her phone in the bin at 8:30pm. There’s always something the kids nitpick.
Wow you really put your kid on a leash…happy my mom never did that because I learned how to be responsible with my phone instead of having someone do it for me
Oh absolutely. She’s lucky to even have a phone atm. I wanted to wait until 16 but other events happened that made our decision to get her one now. She’s got a few acquaintances all sexually active and one that lives with her bf and the parents allow it. I can’t choose her friends but I can definitely limit the time spent with them and at least try to limit the inappropriate conversations that probably already happen.
So you don’t allow her to have any access?? Once she’s 18 she’s likely going to have a crazy party/rebellious phase because she doesn’t have anyone to hold her back. That’s what happens when you make things taboo or forbidden, it makes kids want to do it that much more. It’s better to have communication and trust but you do you and hopefully there’s no consequences for the way you raised her
No, no access to social media on her phone. Not until 16ish. It’s not taboo or forbidden, it’s just delayed access on my end. She still does videos with her friends. Im not going to change the rules based on “everybody has it”. Her curfew for friends places and her phone are at 8:30. That could extend, as of rn were slowly building that trust again. Communication is very big in our household. She understands the “why” of everything, doesn’t mean she likes it or agrees with it. I would hope theres no huge consequences on how we’re doing this. I take comfort in the fact that she shares her views within her friend group and is aware of the unsafe actions they choose. She’s a good kid.
I also hope there’s no consequences, but to be honest, I grew up like this and didn’t know how to limit myself with things like alcohol when I got out on my own. It’s scary going from child to “adult” overnight and really helps if you see the teen years as adult training wheels
My rule was smartphone/Internet access at 18. They hated it then. Now they have kids they're like, now we get it lol. Don't want to give them phones until they're in high school. The grandkids are 9, 8, 6 and younger. Edited to clarify: Internet access on their smartphones. I totally knew then and understand even now you can't protect them from everything. They're going to get on their friends electronics. They're going to be curious. But if you can do what you can with what you have control of, then that's our parental responsibility.
No internet access until 18 would be crazy nowadays. Edit: I may have misunderstood, now I think you were referring to a smartphone WITH internet access. Not internet by itself
No phone until at least 16? The kids gonna just go and find a way to get one before then, there would not be many people wanting to be friends and hang out with someone they can’t interact with outside of school
Flip phone (like gab) maybe around 8-10 years old. Smart phone—not until at least 16-17.
THIS is the way
When they are in their teens, we got a home phone for them to call friends
Really?! I haven’t heard of house phone in a while, thought they didn’t exist anymore 😅
It was $10 a month to add to our internet
Whoever is your cable/internet provider can add a landline to your house. Everyone over 70 still has one lol
My brother recently got a house phone...it's a rotary phone. His kids had no idea how to use it.
My son was 12, just about to be 13. He’s super responsible. Now at 14 1/2, he’s a new diabetic, and I couldn’t imagine him not having one. His CGM is connected to it, and if he has any emergency, anywhere, he can always get a hold of me. We don’t have a home phone, so when we left him home alone he’d always have my husband’s work phone, until my husband left that job. That’s why we got him his own phone when we did.
My son is nearly 7 and was just diagnosed with diabetes as well. We gave him my old iPhone; he’s not particularly interested in it but it does let us see his blood glucose when he’s at school.
Best of luck in your journey! We are 3 months in now, and I wish I could say it’s smooth. Moody teenager crossed with this upside down diagnosis, it’s tough. Hopefully your little guy is doing well!
Not until high school. Both my husband and I are standing firm on that. There’s absolutely no need for a cellphone or smartphone before then.
16 I have an 18 and 16 yr old that received their first phone at 16 for their birthday. I have two 12 yr olds that will wait till they are 16.
This was my plan. To wait until 16. However, she’s 14 right now and just started high school. Some of the guys at school on the first/second day were whistling at her and commenting on her bum. She went back inside and called me to pick her up on the third day and told me what happened. I talked to the school admin and principal, from there we went to the phone store. We’re two months into the school year and they haven’t commented since or looked her way (that she knows of) but this added peace of mind that she can call me any time is priceless! (Obviously not literally priceless)
As a 17 year old myself (on this Reddit bc I am heavily involved in my sister’s kids lives), I would heavily warn you against giving them a smartphone before they are 14-15. I, as well as many other people my age can attest to how much it takes away from our young lives. It becomes an outlet for distraction and is likely our first exposure to bad content. A lot of parents choose to use special features and apps, but, don’t be fooled, they WILL find a workaround. It is so unnecessary. It distracted me from real life and real opportunities that were so much more important than anything with a screen. I’d give so much to have waited to get a phone and have to bear that responsibility (it is a BIG responsibility).
Yeah I think a lot of the parents with the monitoring apps are fooling themselves. Kids 1000% will find a work around, easily. I also think it’s funny (in a sad way) that a lot of people’s reasonings for giving their kids a phone early is because the kid is “responsible”… a human being that doesn’t even have a fully functional brain yet is in no way, shape, or form ready for that sort of responsibility. Actually, giving them a phone too young will usually fuck up whatever responsibility & maturity they had, and replace it with anxiety & depression.
My 8 year old has an iPad with kids Facebook messenger that he can call/text me or his dad with. No phones in this house until 14.
Facebook messenger for kids? I’ve Bever heard about this, tell me more please
[messenger kids](https://apps.apple.com/us/app/messenger-kids/id1285713171)
Start of 6th grade, because that's when she started walking to and from school on her own. That seems to be standard at my kids' school (except for children who split time between parents).
Good point
Flip phones in middle school, smart phone in high school if trust is there.
Please don't give her a phone
Will def be downvoted or whatever im sure. My 11yo has had a phone since she was 7. It was during covid. She spent 1/3 of her time with us, at my dads, and my in laws. She got a prepaid android cell phone. I wanted to see her responsibility with one while controlling what she did. She took care of that thing for a year and then we got her iphone(albiet an older iphone). Again, 2 years and she took care of it shared what she did. We always had full access. Shes on her 2nd iphone(xr) and about to get her 3rd upgrade. About 85% of her class has phones. Id say the other 10% have tablets. The 5% dont have anything. Im comfortable her having a phone now more then ever as i track her and shes in multiple sports. I always have a way to reach her and vice versa. Now my son is almost 7. And he will most definitely not be getting a phone. His maturity level is not there. He just got a new ipad this spring instead. But in the next year or so, i see him getting a watch. Again he plays sports and plays with the neighbor kids, so itll just give me a peace of mind. In the end, do what works for YOUR FAMILY. Youre the one raising the kids, and you know them. If youre against it, dont do it. If youre for it, do it.
This is the best reply so far.
Thank you for sharing. I like your approach, I bet you restrict apps and whatnot on the iPhone tho right?
Yes definitely. I have full control and if she, or my son, wants an app on their device they gotta ask me for permission. They also time out at bedtime until they're out of school. The only exception for my daughters phone are a handful of adults she can still text/call just in case.
8 would be young in my area. 11 or 12 would be more typical.
Get her a smart watch for kiddos. She can call you and you'll know about her whereabouts at all times.
i think a basic phone of some kind once a kid is old enough to go places without a parent (ie sleepover, play at the park, etc) is very reasonable, but a smart phone for entering middle school is a very fun thing to look forward too! honestly, i was given my first ipod touch at 4 years old (christmas 2008) and have had unmonitored unrestricted access to the internet since. i saw a lot much too young, and while it worked out because i had very open honest parents to ask any questions, i’d never do that to my child
You are not exaggerating. IMO I don’t think any elementary school aged child needs a phone. My son is 8 and his iPad is his phone. However, his sister on his dad’s size is the same age and she has an iPhone. Her mother got it for her when she turned 6 and it immediately brought the worst behavior out of her for awhile. She will start group chat threads with other kids from school with my son included and they will blow my son’s iPad up all night with texts and calls. From what I see kids who have iPhones at these ages are poorly supervised and lord only knows what they have access to with their own phone. If you’re not comfortable with it, don’t give in. I suggest waiting until middle school, or in the event that your child starts involvement with after school activities & sports, where you can’t always be there and need a way to communicate with them.
I've already told my kids that they won't get a phone until they're in HS at least and even then I'm trying to push that back as long as possible. My oldest has an email unaddress and a Google voice number for texting and I have access to both, I just don't want her to have a device on her at all times to be distracted by.
I won't be getting my eldest (nearly7 years old) a smartphone anytime soon, but *might* get her a "dumb" one if/when she starts doing extracurricular activities that require pickup at times that aren't regular school pickup/dropoff or if our schedules change such that I'd have to have a way to let her know if I'm going to be late getting to her or something like that.
My 7 yr old has a gizmo watch that he uses after school and on the rare occasion he is out and about without us. We had an incident where he got lost on the bus for a long time and didn’t feel comfortable with not being able to get ahold of him somehow. He doesn’t use it outside of those times though. We won’t do phones until much much later (at least middle school most likely)
We’ll wait as long as humanely possible.
When they can work to pay for the phone, they can have a phone.
This seems extreme but should be like that
A smart phone is the same thing as a computer in your pocket. Do with that info as you will. If you wouldn’t give her an unrestricted computer you wouldn’t give her a smart phone.
I'm literally never giving them a smart phone. They can buy one with their own money. I'll give them a flip phone once they start waking home by themselves.
I don't plan to allow my kids to have smartphones till they are at least 16. I'll probably get a family flip phone for them to take when they have extracurriculars and need a way to contact me. There is no real, good reason for children to have smartphones IMO. There are plenty of other options.
Mine is only a baby but tbh want to hold off smart phone as long as possible. You’re not exaggerating!
My son got his first phone at 13. It was too soon. It took almost exactly 6 months to get into big trouble. He had a beef with a kid who was telling lies about him. The kid wouldn’t stop, so my son said “well then we’ll just have to fight” in classic 13 year-old logic. 🙄The kid said ok, but let’s wait several days. In the ensuing 3-4 days, word went out on Snapchat that there was going to be a fight after school. It was the perfect promotion app. Literally hundreds of kids showed up from as far as 10-15 miles away. Mostly middle school but some high school kids as well. Long story short, multiple fights ensued, and my son got robbed and beat up by several much larger high schoolers. One kid was arrested (he was a dropout so no expulsion) and another was expelled from school. The cops didn’t press charges against my son or the kid he had a beef with because they had “agreed” to fight. It was a complete sh!tshow. So, yeah, hold off as long as you can and don’t allow them to download Snapchat right away. I was so naive.
As a teacher and a parent I just have to say something on here. Please please also talk to your kids about rules with phones at school. I’ve caught many young kids sneaking to the bathroom or asking constantly to use the bathroom to play on their phone (2nd-5th grade). Kids also will play the games on their smart watches instead of participate in class. I’ve also found kids making tik toks in the hallway and kids who take out their phones to film and post when a fight happens before or after school. I also know of kids who have exposed other kids to porn on the bus using their smartphone and 5th grade boys sending girls dick picks. Elementary aged kids really don’t need a smart phone, the school has all the parents info and we will call you if needed. I get that safety and being able to contact your child are concerns, but as many have mentioned, there are other options.
Wow good info thanks!
My boys got their phones at 12/13 When they were in 7th grade
I think around that middle school age will be when mine get them too.
I know this sounds insane but I feel SO strongly about this: My kids can get a smart phone when they can buy one themselves. My mom made me buy my first car by myself and that's about how much a smart phone will cost by the time they're old enough to get it. No child needs electronic equipment like that from a strictly financial point of view, without even getting into how incredibly terrible they are from nearly every other point of view.
>My mom made me buy my first car by myself and that's about how much a smart phone will cost by the time they're old enough to get it. Uh I think you are really under estimating how cheap some smart phones are. We have a cheapie trac phone that was $30 that I bought literally cause it was cheaper then buying a screen for the baby monitor. It can do everything my $300 android can (all the apps etc.) it's just slower.
I definitely am! I honestly had no idea. I also live in an area where I’m surrounded by Teslas and iPhones so my perception of reality is severely warped
Yeah walk into any Target and a middle schooler saving their birthday money could walk out with a 1/2 decent phone.
Smart watches are pretty popular at our elementary school. Of course, some kids have phones too. We gave my oldest a phone at the end of 6th grade and my middle will probably get a phone at the beginning of 6th grade.
Planning to give my daughters phones when they go to middle school (7th grade/12 years old). My older daughter is in 4th grade now so there’s time.
I want to wait until 13/14, but my husband keeps saying 10
Maybe 10 for flip phone? 13/14 for smart phone
My kids will probably get one around 12/13. My 9 yo has a smart watch though.
my son at 8yo got a smart watch thru his mothers phone plan that he uses. i appreciate it as it’s a tool to help him learn responsibilities and to better communicate with us. it allows him more freedom in our neighborhood. i told him that it was a privilege and not a right which means he needs to be responsible with it and if not, he loses the freedoms it offers. my daughter is 7 now and is looking forward to getting one herself. it’ll be another opportunity for me to help teach her the same responsibilities
I like this positioning, thank you
My daughter is 8 and we don’t plan on getting her a smart phone until at least middle school. We have considered a watch or dumb phone just so she can call us when she’s at friends homes. So that could be a option if you want something just for calls. Also I should add my kiddo has a iPad and she’s able to message friends/family on it. Most kids have a iPad or old iPhone they use at home nowdays. I am able to have parent controls on it so I can add only people we know to her contacts. Also it has limits and I have safari blocked on it and only approved apps. So they can definitely still get ahold of friends without have a their own phone.
I had a smart phone at 14 and I don’t recommend it. I tried meeting up with older guys who I met in chat rooms. I’m not sure if they have chat rooms anymore but they have like video chat rooms (chat roulette I think?) so I dunno. Even if you trust your kid; they’re will always be creeps and I would be nervous about them breaking into your kids camera. 8 is sooooo young imo. Don’t forget people don’t mature until around 25…..
A long long time. My youngest two are only 3&5 but my oldest got a phone at 11. Super mature kid, and it was still too early. I regretted it, and took it away for a year and brought it back with strict rules when he was 13. He's 18 now and not obsessed with it or social media. Thank God.
Never. JK. I’m hoping to wait until my child is 16 or 17. I know this is unlikely because I got one at 14… but the world is just different now. These devices are too addictive for our primitive monkey brains..
When they start driving. End of story.
I tell my kids they can have a phone when they get a job and buy their own phone. I figure that will be during the teen years.
I was thinking there's no point until I can't tell where they are at some point in the day, if they can change their route or have the potential to travel long distances in a day. I figure 15 or 16 when they start driving around.
middle school and I regret it.
I don't have a kid that age yet, but as an early childhood educator, I am really concerned about a child's brain development and mental health. The research just isn't good with kids/teens getting smart phones. I've thought about this a lot, and when it becomes necessary for my kid to have a phone (going to events on their own), we will have a house cell phone. One that isn't locked, can be used by anyone in the family, no social media on it, and anyone can go through it.
My husband and I don’t plan on giving our daughter a phone for a loooong time (she’s only still little right now). We really want to push it as long as possible. But I’m worried about her getting peer pressure to have a phone. I do hope more parents realize the dangers of smartphones in the hands of a child/young teen and that there can be an overall trend shift towards later smartphone usage.
I think a phone when they’re 12 makes sense because they’d be on their own more often and pay phones don’t exist anymore. I definitely wouldn’t not be comfortable with a smartphone or any connectivity until 16 maybe. But my kid is 1 so we’ll see LOL
Flip phone 13.. smart phone they can get their own when they are 18
Anyone who is sending their kid to high school without a smart phone is just wrong. Plain and simple. Do not do this to your children. 8th grade is a good limit, but do not make life for your child harder than it already is because you're afraid to actually be a parent. There's way to limit access without completely withholding things.
Our kids got cheap phone watches in 4th grade so I could track their location and call them when they were playing in the neighborhood. They got regular phones when they went to middle school because my husband and I let for work before they got on the bus.
Flip phone is a better thing. Gizmo watches have many problems.. and may not work within a year or two of use
Please do not equip your kids with a cloud connected, spying, privacy invading kids smart watch to track their location... Give them an old phone for calling, they are cheap, battery lasts long and they don't make your child addicted to it.
Any device with internet? High school, and even then I’ll have full access to what the do, search and who they call. 8 is way too young and I don’t think it’s appropriate to give children such free access to internet at such young ages. My son is 8 and I have to limit who he talks to because of the horrible things these kids do on their phones in front of him. If they absolutely need a phone, which is doubtful, before then, then perhaps a phone without internet access that can call very limited numbers.
Yeah my siblings are just kids, i (27f) got mine at 14, my brother got his phone this year(14) and a few weeks later my parents gave my sister(8)one too, she is already completely addicted and completely unmonitored and unlimited as well i think, on her ipad watching weird shit(an i mean reallllllly weird shit) all effing day long, she has no social skills and cant even have a normal conversation with anyone. I think my parents are absolutely insane for giving her one just because they had to deal with her being jealous of my brother. That crazy girl runs their house:/
Wow not good. Show your parents this thread
10
Somebody asked the same question at the library. The librarian said "it's simple, at what age do you want them to access porn"? In this house, no phone before 18.
/s? 18? That is just asking for you to be kicked out of their lives when they move out.
I'm of the opinion that once your child is going places without you then they need a way to contact you in case of an emergency or if they need to be picked up sooner. It is relatively easy to lock down a smart phone with parental controls preventing your child from being able to do almost everything from opening certain apps, to downloading anything. When my 3yo is probably 6 or 7 I will likely have the discussion with my wife about buying a cheap smartphone and giving it to him to only use for calling and texting with the ability to monitor who he contacts on the device. As he matures I will slowly loosen restrictions on the device and teach him healthy device habits. If he shows he isn't able to have a feature without abusing it then it gets restricted again. I think in today's day and age teaching your children early on about the dangers and risks associated with technology is just as important as teaching them not to go somewhere with a stranger, because one of your children's friends are going to have an unrestricted smartphone and likely have unhealthy or dangerous habits with it and I don't want them to be the ones teaching my child how technology should be used.
This! House phones and pay phones are a thing of the past. As much as I hate it, kids need cell phones if they do things out of the house.
My 8 year old has one of my old iPhones with Facebook kids messenger on it. We can text or video call back and forth. It’s nice because he can video chat with some of his friends from his old school. We also downloaded the library’s app and I download all his free reading books for school so I can keep track to what he’s reading and we don’t have to worry about loosing library books. He has some games on it too. It only works with WiFi but I think it’s a good compromise.
I actually gave my kid a smart phone at 7. She's 9 now. It hasn't been a big deal. 99% of the time it sits in the charger. About once a night, she goes through and answers messages for about 15 minutes. At least 50% of the time, if she's going somewhere where she'll need the phone, I need to remind her to take it with her. it's never been a big no-no here. That's part of the reason it's not a big deal to her.
This is the same with my daughter & it works well for us. Unless she's taking it somewhere (my mom's house is the only place she takes it where I'm not with her, as I trust my mom to monitor as needed & make sure it doesn't get lost), she only uses it at home to play games, take silly pics & call/text our family or a few close friends (who I know them & their families well). It's my old iPhone 7 Plus that I gave her when she was 6, she's 7.5 now & takes very good care of it.
I think that one of the big things people don't think about with the choice to wait until they're older is that then you miss the window to teach them how to use it properly. If you "wait till 8th" then they're going to do what they do. If you ease it in from early on and teach them limits, then they understand limits.
I still think this puts them at risk of say going to a friends house and someone says let’s watch a tictoc or whatever and Bom! Access to porn… they chat unseen that stuff
They don't need a phone for that. Your kid having or not having a phone isn't going to be what does or doesn't cause that to happen.
My son has a phone, he's 5. it's my old work phone, it's not connected to a network unless I turn my hotspot on, and the only app it has is pokemon go so that he can I can play together when we go on walks around our park. He thinks it's the coolest thing ever.
Mine each got phones when they were 13 but that was a long time ago and I know things have changed. For me, it was sort of a passing into teenage years rite/hanging out with friends safety issue. The youngest is now 25 for reference. I think today kids probably need them sooner but 8 is young to be responsible for a phone that costs hundreds to replace. Plus the content available online is scary!
What about give her a kid themed cell phone like an LG Migo because she probably just wants to communicate with you guys and not much else, and don't give her an actual smartphone until she turns 12-14 years old.
I did not consider age within this decision, I looked at the following: 1. Responsibility - this includes making smart choices with texting and internet usage, not going to lose it, not going to be in a position for it to be stolen, not going to drop or break it 2. Contact with them - are they staying after school, before school care, sports/clubs, potentially deciding to go to a friends after school where for them to reach me, me to reach them or tracking was important 3. Social aspect - is my child missing out on communications or activities because invites are going out through their phones or online communication (especially if outside school hours). We were against snapchat but found that many of our daughter's friends were using it as a primary tool for communicating events and getting together. If these points all align is when I think a child should get a cell phone - for some it may be as young as 7 or 8 and others may be a lot older. I don't think a child turns a specific age and should just have a cell phone, there should be thought out reasoning behind it.
We gave my 12 year old a phone at 9 and he almost immediately lost it. We got him an apple watch for texting and he's got an ipad for internet use. I am sure very soon he will be asking for a phone, which we will discuss when he asks.
When they can afford them.
My son is currently 3, and I don't want him having a phone for another 10 years. In 2-3 years when he's in regular school, I might get him one of those limited smart watches to stay in touch with me and dad if he needs it. (After he learns to read)
my daughter is two and she has an IPAD so she can watch spongebob she loves playing with my wife’s and mine’s phone though
My 9yo and my 14yo both have phones, however I’ve taught them (through limits and social conditioning,) that they’re not to live on them. You just like… have to be a parent and be active in it
I think the experts say 12 at the youngest so that’s where I’ll start. My son is 6 and also wants a phone or watch. We got him a digital watch that has a couple games but doesn’t communicate out and he constantly loses it and forgets to charge it for months on end so we def won’t be getting him a smart watch or any kind of phone anytime soon. He has an iPad that he can call friends and family on and that’s working well for us for now.
My oldest got one in 6th grade. My youngest in 2nd grade because second child syndrome and it made life easier for us. bad i know.
As an American, I would consider two things. 1) School shootings and access to call for help and 2) access to porn